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There it was again. The staring. Blue eyes bored into Dean and he could feel heat rising up his face. The stupid angel led on of their famous staring contests again. Dean swallowed hard and tried to tear his eyes of the cerulean depth, despite that he couldn't. It was like being glued to the shimmering gleam and it's not like Dean would mind forgetting himself in the gorgeous face of his friend.
Not that it would make him feel all tingly in his lower half or that his palms became sweaty out of nowhere. It was a warm day and the bunker heated up sometimes. Nothing beside platonic feelings involved when it came to the trench coat wearing angel. Dean was sure of that.
Only that he wasn't. He couldn't deny the fact, that he had caught himself thinking of the angel in a beyond platonic friendship kind of way more than once. Maybe even in an absolutely non-platonic way just like now. He couldn't help it, when Cas had decided to shed himself from the coat a few minutes ago and was now sitting there, all innocently with rolled up sleeves and a tie hanging loosely around his neck. The things Dean could do with that tie. Rip it off, for example. Just like that white dress shirt, that was blocking the view of a muscular chest, Dean had caught a glimpse of when the angel had stepped out of the shower yesterday. Just a towel around his lower body and a stupid smile on his face. Dean had been restless for the whole day, just thinking of the toned skin and how he would love to explore every inch of it. With his tongue.
“Dean? Are you feeling alright?” Castiel asked, tilting his head and Dean found himself being snapped out of his stare. He cleared his throat and shot his brother, who was sitting next to him at the library table, a short glance.
“Sure, Cas.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips and Castiel's eyes followed the movement. For a second Dean thought he imagined a hungry look on his face. He blinked and forced himself to look anywhere beside the angel in front of him.
“Are you sure? Your face seems to be very hot.” Castiel stated as a matter of fact. Dean heard a chuckle beside him.
“Yeah, what's wrong, Dean? You caught a fever?” Sam grinned and Dean glared at him with a look that might have scared off Lucifer himself. He turned his head to answer Castiel, but chocked on his words when the angel raised his hand to press it on Dean's forehead. Sam had a hard time suppressing his laughter.
“You don't have a fever, although your head seems to have reached a worrying level of heat.” Cas said, before pulling his hand away.
‘Maybe that is, because the guy I'm fantasizing about has been looking at me like he's undressing me in his mind.’ Dean thought and drew his head back.
“Maybe you shouldn't wear that much clothing on a warm day like this.” Cas suggested, cocking an eyebrow.
Dean's heart stopped beating for a second and all blood drained from his face. He opened and closed his mouth without saying a word, before suddenly raising himself from the chair.
“I need a drink.” He announced with a hoarse voice and rushed out of the library to head to the kitchen. He made his way to the cupboard, which he used as an alcohol stash and poured himself a shot of Whiskey.
The burning sensation in his throat was just what he needed right now to distract him from what had happened.
Of course he had forgotten that Castiel was a freaking angel that was able to read minds. He'd been thinking all sorts of dirty things about said angel and even though it was all wishful thinking and he would probably never make a real move on Cas, he knew that thinking such things in front of him might have changed their relationship drastically.
Dean nearly dropped his glass when a all too familiar voice rose up behind him.
“Dean, I think we need to talk.” Castiel looked at him expectantly and Dean wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground and escape the following conversation. He mentally prepared for Cas saying that he wasn't feeling comfortable around Dean anymore and that he had to leave. That was why Dean never really considered to give a voice to his thoughts. He was just way too afraid to be rejected and that Cas would stop being his friend. Losing Castiel was definitely the worst case scenario Dean could think of and he would do anything to prevent that from happening even if that meant he had to live a lonely life, pining after the angel, till he died without ever expressing his feelings.
“It's okay, Cas. Just say it.” Dean croaked. He turned his back to the angel and gripped the counter, searching for any kind of hold for the rejection, he knew would come.
“Your an idiot, Dean Winchester. An enormous idiot and also a coward.” Dean couldn't help but throw a look over his shoulder at Castiel's harsh words, but instead of the furious face he expected, he found himself greeted with a warm smile.
“But I guess that makes me a coward too.”
Dean knitted his brows, confusion spreading on his face. Castiel had stepped closer and Dean would probably have growled something about ‘personal space’ if he didn't have exposed his approval of the angel's closeness already.
As if Castiel had heard Dean's thought (which he probably did) he moved even closer and crowed Dean against the counter. The hunter had turned around by now so that they were facing each other. Their bodies nearly touched and Dean found himself to be wishing Cas would move closer just a bit so that he could feel the warmth of his body against his own.
“Dean.” The angel warned and shot him a knowing look. Their eyes met and Dean felt his heart hammering in his chest. Cas squinted his eyes.
“Every day I have to listen to what you're thinking about me- about us. It's torture, Dean!” Castiel's voice was deep and intimidating and Dean had to suppress a whimper. That was it. The moment he would tell Dean to get over it and then leave.
Castiel's expression softened. “I would never, Dean.”
The hunter's mouth fell open. That didn't sound like a rejection to be honest.
“I couldn't. I'd miss you too much. Even all these thoughts you keep having about us. They are torture, yes, but still better than what I'm imagining it would be like. I guess it's my lack of experience.”
Dean was beyond confused. His mind was still at processing Cas' words, when the angel's finger reached out to touch the side of his face. Immediately he leaned into the touch and their eyes locked. Finally Dean felt his brains working again.
“You're thinking of us as- as that?” He asked bewildered.
“Yes, just as often as you actually. Though I seem better at hiding it.” The angel let out a small laugh.
“But- but you never- You never said anything or made a move!” Dean outraged. He didn't feel like smiling right now. Castiel knew about his feelings the whole time and apparently even returned them, but never decided to actually tell Dean. His life would've been a lot easier if he had.
“I wanted to wait until you felt ready to open up on yourself. But after today... Let's just say I couldn't wait anymore for you to get over your issues.” Dean barely noticed Castiel's hand falling down to his shoulder.
Dean was a loss at words and silence rolled over them. For a moment he imagined to see a hint of angst in the angel's face like his confidence had left him.
“Son of a bitch.” That was all Dean had to say before reaching out for the angel's tie and pulling him forward.
Soft, chapped lips met full and wet ones. Both of them melted into the kiss and while Dean started to cradle Cas' face, the angel raised his hands and linked them behind Dean's neck. Their lips moved together and when Dean felt a hot tongue sliding over his bottom lip, he happily granted access to the eager angel. While their kiss grew heated Dean's hands left Cas' face to grab around his waist and to urge him impossibly closer to the hunter's body. Castiel's fingers started carding through his hair and Dean let out a pleasant hum.
After what felt like hours they both drew their heads back, breathing heavily and sharing gummy smiles. Cas rested his forehead on Dean's chest and the hunter planted a kiss on top of his head.
“Damn, Cas. You're still an asshole for letting me wait that long.” Dean murmured into the dark hair. Castiel chuckled against the human's chest.
“Like I said, we are both cowards for never expressing our feelings towards each other.” Castiel said.
“I guess we have to thank your low tolerance for lusty thoughts, huh?” Dean responded grinning.
Cas raised his head to meet Dean's eyesight. The hunter's breath hitched in his throat when he saw that the angel's pupils were blown wide and dark.
“It'd like you to show me what else you've been thinking about.”
Dean felt himself growing heated with arousal and placed a chaste kiss on Castiel's lips.
“I think that can be arranged.”