Work Text:
Gungoo goes to America
It was the night before going to America, gun and goo has been sent by Charles choi for a mission. They have to execute Obama.
"why the hell do we have to kill Obama again??"
Goo asked while putting his $500 panties into his luggage.
"because. Charles hates Obama, he hates black people. Especially Obama."
Gun says as he only put a gun inside a luggage. Just a gun. No clothes, no pants, no nothing except a gun.
"but why does it have to be us? Also are you only bringing a gun?"
Goo asked looking at gun confused. Gun looked at goo with a dead pan face.
"are you for real? Are you stupid?! It's America goo!"
Gun screeched at goo as his hair jiggled a bit. Gun has always suffered with his hair moving with his emotions. It just comes with being Japanese.
"whatever-"
Before goo could finish his words his phone rang, he looked at his phone and at the icon. Charles choi was calling, he wonders what burden that old man is gonna add for them.
Goo puts the phone near his ear to get a better hearing of the voice call.
" elloooooo???"
"goo- okay. Tomorrow before you and gun kill Obama. You have to stop to a public school and shoot them okay."
"WAT. WHY??"
"are you stupid? It's America goo. Now tell gun about this. If you fail and the shooting does not make it to the news you will be jobless. JOBLESS."
"UGH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS IT WITH AMERICA!!"
"SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I TELL YOU, BEFORE YOU GET YOUR PAYCHECK CUT OFF AND YOUR CHEAP ASS CAN'T BUY A $10 PINK SPARKLE DILDO."
"AUGH FINE."
Goo then ends the call before the two of them could say another word on the phone, he then softly throws his phone on the bed and it landed on its screen just showing his pink barbie sparkle unicorn phone case.
"who was it?"
Gun asked while finishing puffing up goo's pillows because every single night goo cannot sleep unless the bed is in an exact temperature, his blanket is warm and his pillow cold and puffed up.
"That old man Charles!"
"what did he say?"
"aughh, he said before we kill Obama we have to go to a school and go on a school shooting."
"oh. Okay I'll bring 2 guns then."
Goo looked at gun with annoyances as gun unzips his luggage that only contains a gun soon to be two guns.
"have you got everything packed?"
Gun asked while looking at which gun he should bring for an extra. Maybe he should bring 3 guns. He has a lot of space in his luggage since he doesn't bring clothes, pants nothing. Just guns. It's probably because he is Japanese. So he doesn't need too.
"mmmmhhhh, I think soooo"
Goo says as he throws himself onto the bed, he may or may not have crushed his phone with his BIG FAT ASS.
"okay then we can go to sleep now, don't forget to set an alarm at 3am. The flight is at 6am okay."
"WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAKE UP SOOO EARLY AUGHHHHH????"
"BECAUSE YOU TAKE 2 HOURS TO GET YOUR GOD DAMN SKINCARE READY GOD DAMMIT."
"GOD DAMMIT FINE AUGH."
Gun sighs in annoyances as he walks up to his bed and layed down. He then took his phone to set their 3am alarm because he knows goo won't do it even tho he told him literally 4 seconds ago.
A couple hours later around 2:99 am gun suddenly hears his phone alarm and gets up he then walked up to goo's bed and shakes the bed and goo falls on the ground.
"waauhhhh wat tha fackkk??"
Goo groans as he hits the floor but it didn't hurt that much since he landed on his BIG FAT ASS.
"get ready."
Gun says before he leaves to go to the bathroom and now leaving goo on the floor. Goo got up and took some clothes and a towel and he decided to make his green juice that makes his skin smooth as a baby while waiting for gun to finish his shower.
After around 10 minutes gun comes out of the bathroom.
"go shower."
Goo then entered the bathroom and gun decides to check in the mirror if his eyebrows has grown back to normal yet since goo cleaned them up without his consent. He isn't scared of anything, But having no hair on his body makes his balls tickle in a scary way.
Goo finish taking a shower after using 450 million bath products next step is his 400 million step skincare routine and some hair care products so his hair won't fall off at the age of 30 because he bleached it too much.
After goo finishes his morning 400 million step skincare routine (he has a different routine for night) he then puts on his $500 panties before he puts on his clothes.
"okay I put all our luggages in the car already"
Gun says as he eats his chopsticks from his breakfast because he is Japanese. Goo then takes his phone that has a cracked now because goo layed on it because of his BIG FAT ASS, to look at the time it was 5:68. Wait a minute the flight is at 6am...THEY ARE GONNA BE LATEEE
"Ong gun tf is already 5:69.. We'll be late!!!"
Goo screams to gun like a little anime girl character, gun looks at goo as he realised the time.
"shiittt, alright get in the car right now."
Gun then rushed outside and goo following while also being the one to lock the door. Gun and goo then got into the car. Instead of driving gun started flying the car.
"WHERE THA FACK ARE WE GOING?!!?!?"
Goo screamed at gun while gripping on the seat because he didn't have the time to put on his seat belt.
"America."
Goo looked at gun with wide eyes, he was confused and scared.
"BUT.. THE AIRPORT.. THE FLIGHT??"
Gun then looked at goo with an unfazed expression and then said.
"this IS the flight."
Gun says with an unfazed expression and a stern voice, that sentence made goo freeze up and think about his life decisions to get him to this point of his life. Tho he only thought for 2 seconds because it was obvious he barely ever actually thinks. Ask him if he ever think twice before speaking girlie he don't even think.
After 2 hours of the car flight since gun is Japanese he can ultra speed I guess. He then landed on the rooftop of a public school.
"already. Time to pull out the guns. Okay goo pull out your phone. We have to make a tiktok out of this for documentary for the police."
Gun says as he gets out the car and goo stumbles out the car and goo pulled out his phone that had a barbie pink barbie sparkle unicorn phone case to filmed the school shooting. They then ran inside the school full of American teenagers that probably vapes.
Goo then puts on the song cupid by fifty fifty for the background music of the tiktok. Goo then filmed teenagers and the teachers panicking because gun just pulled out his two glocks out of his pants. Every one is in terror and screaming, crying and begging.
"SHUT THE HELL UPP"
Gun says in broken English because he is Japanese and goo just filmed whatever is happening, gun then shoots a teenager with black eyeliner, black clothing, one bang hair, a pin that had their pronounces and ugly ass neon hair color. That was really well deserved he thinks. He saw one of those people-no. Not people. They probably has their own species since they always look the same. But anyways he doesn't care.
"alright let's go back to the car."
Gun says as he puts the two glock back into his pants, and dragged goo back to the rooftop where their car is. And gun then shoved goo inside the wheels of the car and got in to the driver seat.
"WAT THA FACK"
Goo screams at gun as gun was flying off. Gun then goes into the direction of the white House. He then crashes into one of the office windows. He then gets out the car while goo has to slip out of the car wheels.
Gun runs into obama's office and throws the door at obama's direction. Obama's moves away quickly as he looks shock, he couldn't believe that Park jonggun is at his office. What the fack.
"GUN..??!! W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE..??!!"
"I'm here to fuck you up Obama."
Obama blushes. It seems like he got the wrong message. Gun realizes this and immediately turns red.
"I-I.. I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY OKAY??"
Gun yells while Blushing, he looks like a rotten ugly tomato. Goo rushes to the room. He is out of breath and sweating. Goo looks at the situation. Gun looking like a red demon? Obama standing like a anime girl while blushing? What on earth was happening?
"WHAT THA FACKKK IS HAPPENING."
Gun and Obama looks at goo in shock. With a shock expression facing towards goo, gun unzips his pants and pulls out his glock out and shoots Obama. Goo could only watch in horror.
"no more America. Let's go back to Korea."
Gun and goo then flies back to Korea. The mission was very successful. Sadly up there somewhere in heaven Obama has to deal with a very sad heartbreak.
End.