Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

At 6:30 AM, Guntz yawned as he picked up the morning newspaper, upon which was a headline detailing some sort of boring tax business that he didn’t really give a damn about. It was a chilly morning, so he was planning to brew up some coffee and start the day right.

As he walked back towards the kitchen, he heard scuffling noises coming from the small room his family used as a closet to keep their clothes in. Thinking an animal had gotten in overnight, he opened the door and nearly dropped his coffee cup in horror.

There, standing in the middle of his closet, was Klonoa, wearing his outfit. Red overcoat with a yellow scruff, white gloves long combat boots, the cabbit had gotten fully decked out. It hung off him a little as it was a size or two too big, so while it looked dashing on Guntz, on his friend it looked slightly ridiculous. Klonoa had a deer-in-the-headlights look when he realised he’d been caught.

“K-Klonoa?!” Guntz gasped incredulously. “What the hell are you doing with my clothes??!”

“I… um, I…” Klonoa spluttered, trying to find the right words. “I-I got curious and wanted to see what it looked on me.”

“Mate, you could have asked me first!” Guntz said with an annoyed air. “I only have the one of those, I need that back!”

“Um, y-yes Guntz…” Klonoa blushed as he bashfully started taking Guntz’s outfit off. Guntz closed the closet door to give him some privacy… before leaning against the wall in a near-faint, face all red, heart beating in his chest.

“God, he looked so fucking cute in that…” he thought to himself…

…

At 7:00 AM, Leorina stretched her legs around the courtyard of the Claire Moa Temple, Tat tagging along behind her. Her beloved airship the Crimson Iris had been allowed to be moved to an empty lot so it could be repaired, having been totalled in a recent battle. She’d been making some great progress, and it was in much better shape than it had been beforehand, but she still had some work to do before it could be taken to the air again. She’d probably be tinkering with it later when not working on priestess duties or spending time with the High Priestess.

When she got to the airship though, she was surprised to find a compartment she kept her old Sky Pirate uniform in had been opened, and the outfit was gone. Initially fearing that it had been stolen, she suddenly heard a rustling in some nearby bushes, and she ran over to catch whoever was hiding there.

The sight made her jaw drop and made Tat break out into uncontrollable laughter. Klonoa had fallen over, wearing her Sky Pirate getup, red cape and eyepiece and all. He looked even more ridiculous.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Leorina said with a frosty glare and a raised eyebrow.

Tat couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. “Looking good, Klonoa!” She said with a playful air.

“W-well, you see…” Klonoa began, but was cut off by Leorina extending her arm out.

“I want it back.” She said bluntly. “Now.”

…

At 7:30 AM, Lolo woke up in her dormitory in the temple, which she shared with a few other priestesses at the temple. It was a humble sort of accommodation, especially compared to her friends, but she didn’t mind. She kind of enjoyed the company.

Yawning, she opened the window to let some fresh air in. Heading over to the communal closet so she could change out of her nightgown and into her Priestess robes, she let out a squeal of surprise.

Klonoa was in there, wearing her uniform, right down to the pink hat & feather, brown boots, and flowing pink dress. He looked more ridiculous than he probably had in his life, if such a thing were possible.

“K-Klonoa???” she said in shock.

“N-now, Lolo,” Klonoa said in a hurry, trying to explain himself. “I know this looks weird, but there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for… for…”

But he trailed off in a cold sweat when he saw that Lolo had started… smiling at him, and had been joined by a few of her priestess friends who’d been awoken by her yell. Klonoa didn’t like the look she had in her eyes.

“Well, Klonoa,” Lolo said with a slight smile. “If you wanted to play dress up with us, all you needed to do was ask!”

“I say we give him a makeover!” One of her friends said behind her, and the others began to nod in agreement.

Klonoa gulped as they advanced on him…

…

“…and by the time Ōmiko came to rescue him, they’d gotten him in full makeup and girly clothes!” Leorina said incredulously.

“Sounds like a hell of a morning.” Guntz said as he sipped his drink. It was about 11 AM, and Leorina had come over to discuss Klonoa’s new habits.

“Well, it seems its not an isolated incident either.” Leorina continued. “I found him wearing my old Sky Pirate outfit this morning. I’m not really angry, just sort of bewildered since he’s not really doing anything more than trying them on and then leaving, but still… it feels like a breach of privacy, y’know?”

“Makes you wonder where it started.” Guntz said, trying to remember back to what the cabbit had been up to recently. “He did make a visit to the Empire Of Dreams a couple days ago and came back seeming in a good mood.”

“Seems like a good place to start, then, or soon I’m gonna hear about Ōmiko finding him in her uniform…”

…

“My friends, although it is good to see you again, I do have a meeting in a short time, so we’d better keep this brief.”

Guntz and Leorina had made a call to Emperor Jillius’ castle, expecting to just speak with a secretary or steward about what Klonoa had been up to during his visit. But they’d been surprised by Jillius himself having had their call directed right to him, apparently having insisted once he found out who was calling.

“Well, your highness, we just wanted to find out what Klonoa was up to when he was visiting your kingdom the other day.” Leorina said cordially.

“Well…” Jillius said as he thought back. “Not too much. We mostly caught up as friends, toured the grounds, discussed potential hero work that may require his attention in the future. Why do you ask?”

“Because we’ve found that Klonoa’s been trying on all our outfits, and it started when he got back from that visit.” Guntz piped up, not quite being able to hide the accusatory tone in his voice. “You wouldn’t happen to remember where that might have come from, do you?”

“Oh dear…” Jillius said with a guilty tone in his voice. “I do hope it wasn’t because I let him try on my robe.”

“Excuse me, what?” Leorina said in confusion.

Sensing they might have gotten the wrong idea, Jillius clarified. “Well, when he was visiting me, he commented on how comfortable my Emperor’s robes looked, and because I own a few spares, I let him try one on for himself!”

“Indeed?” Guntz inquired.

“Oh yes! He did look rather cute in the oversized outfit. Though by the sounds of it he’s developed something of a habit now. Is there anything I can do to help the situation?”

Leorina was about to reply in the negative before an idea suddenly came to mind.

Putting her hand over the receiver, she whispered to Guntz. “How many spare outfits does Klonoa have?”

“I dunno…” Guntz said, slightly confused by the line of questioning. “Like, three or four?”

Smirking, Leorina returned her attention to the call. “Actually, I think I may have the perfect idea to take care of it…”

…

Klonoa approached his home, feeling more than a little sheepish. He had to admit, he had gotten a little carried away, but he just wanted to see what wearing his friends’ outfits was like, and how they looked on him. He could only hope that his actions hadn’t affected their friendship too much.

He opened his front door and stepped into his living room… and stopped, eyes wide, mouth agape.

There, sitting on his sofa, were Guntz, Leorina and Lolo, all wearing his spare clothes. Big shoes, big hat, big blue shirt with an oversized zipper on the front, they had the whole look. And all with a smug grin on their faces.

“G…guys?” he managed to get out. “What… are you doing?”

“Oh, we’re trying out your look!” Lolo said as she stood up and did a little twirl, the other two joining her in a little bit of posing. “What do you think, are we pulling it off?”

Klonoa tried to speak, but he only babbled out gibberish, overwhelmed at the sight of them, before finally collapsing to the floor in a faint. Guntz ran to catch him, Lolo looking on in worry, Leorina just laughing her head off…

…

He awoke in his bed some time later, having trouble remembering what had just happened. All he knew was his friends had ganged up on him wearing his clothes, likely in payback for how he had done the same.

He supposed now, at least, that they were even.

As he got his bearings, he found a package on his bed, addressed to him from Guntz. Opening it up, he found a near-perfect replica of Guntz’s outfit inside, from the tactical boots to the red coat.

A note was enclosed inside, and he took it out to read;

Got this in your size.

Thought you might want one of your own.

It did sort of suit you.

-Guntz.

Klonoa blushed as he held the note close to his chest.

Perhaps some good had come from this after all…

Chapter Text

“…and so, I says to Mabel, I says, you’d better get yer claws out my sights, or I’ll burn the skies bringing you down!”

Tat giggled behind Klonoa as she worked. The circumstances that the two had gotten together like this was somewhat amusing, but she wasn’t complaining. Apparently the time she had roped Leorina into painting up her body to be white on one side and a dark purple on the other had spread through the grapevine, and Klonoa had bought it up on one of the rare occasions the two ran into each other and had a conversation.

To Tat’s surprise, he had all but implied an interest in such a thing happening to himself, and after some prying to confirms her suspicions, she accepted the non-request, much to his blustering embarrassment. Relishing the opportunity to advertise her image, she’d invited him over and did things up not unlike a beauty salon, applying gratuitous amounts of purple and white paint to the corresponding sides of his body while going on about random gossip that had come by her ears.

“So, Klonoa darling, what spurned on this interest in taking on the Tat look?” she inquired after coating one of his massive ears in white paint.

Klonoa stuttered a little, still clearly embarrassed, but clearly enjoying the chance to try her look on. “W-well… I guess I’ve just been really interested recently in how my friends’ outfits would look on me.”

Tat smiled, slathering paint on the top of his head. “Well, you did look rather dashing in Leorina’s pirate uniform, I don’t blame you for wanting to experiment!”

Then, as she continued, a slightly evil thought sprang to mind. It would get Klonoa in a whole mess of trouble, most likely, but the payoff might just be worth it…

“Say… how many of your friends did you try this with so far?”

Klonoa thought for a moment. “Um… Guntz, Lolo and Leorina, I think. And Emperor Jillius before that. Why?”

“Well…” Tat said with a grin, fully on board with this new evil thought. “Then there’s still so many of your friends you haven’t tried it with. What’s stopping you from trying their threads on?”

Klonoa looked back at her incredulously. “Are you kidding? I nearly got in a heap of trouble with the others, I’m not pushing my luck any further than I oughta!”

“Oh, c’mon! You know you looked fab in Leorina’s, and the others! It’s like you’re absolutely stunning no matter what you wear! Frankly you’d be silly to pass the opportunity up!”

Klonoa turned back round in a huff, trying to hide his blushing face. “N…no, I shouldn’t… it’s a breach of privacy after all..”

“It’d only be borrowing them…” Tat drawled into his ear, continuing her paint job to make sure he got her look down perfect. “Besides, don’t you want to go and express yourself?”

Klonoa tried not to give in to the idea, but gears were clearly going round in his head. His desire to try different looks and ideas, inadvertently placed there during his visit to Emperor Jillius’ palace, was overwriting his conscience.

“I… I can’t…”

“Go oooonnn…”

His will caved.

“Y…yeah, why not…”

Tat gave an evil grin.

“Attaboy. Now, let’s start by getting this makeover done. You’ll be looking as good as me by the end of it…!”

…

Guntz stood on the porch of his house, tending to a cactus displayed in a pot near the front door. His dad had suggested recently he take up a hobby for when he wasn’t out on hero work, but so far he’d had trouble finding something that fit. He didn’t get much out of reading, and he wasn’t much of an artist. He didn’t think he’d go as far as to take up gardening, but at least having a cactus to care for gave him something to tend to that wouldn’t immediately die from his malpractice.

As he looked out upon the street in front of him, he saw Popka stomping around nearby in annoyance. Oddly enough, he wasn’t wearing his trademark red scarf, and he positively looked naked without it.

“What’s the matter with you, Popka?” he called out. “You look mighty pissed!”

Popka looked at him and sighed in frustration as he ran over. “I am! I looked all over this morning, but I can’t find my scarf! It’s just gone and vanished”

Guntz grimaced, sympathetic but unable to hide the mirth fully, a small smirk reaching his mouth. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“It’s more than rough, it’s catastrophic!” Popka huffed. “That scarf is my whole identity, no one’s gonna recognise me without it!”

Guntz couldn’t keep back a snort of laughter but tried to pull himself together before he made Popka madder. His bluster was always a treat to behold. “I’m… I’m sure you’ll find it.”

As Popka tried to nod despite his frustration, Guntz spotted Pango walking over to them. He too wasn’t in his usual attire and seemed to be in some sort of cross between a poncho and a muumuu. He piped up once he’d gotten close.

“Excuse me, Guntz, but I didn’t leave a pair of blue overalls at you and your father’s house, did I?”

Not bothering to question in what universe Pango would have done that, Guntz shrugged. “Not that I know of. It would have stood out, for sure.”

Pango winced, looking like he hadn’t really believed the option but had been holding out hope regardless. “That’s just great. My best worker’s overalls, and they go and get themselves lost! I can’t go to work in a damn dress!”

At that moment, a high pitched cry carried on the wind, slowly growing in volume, and Guntz buried his face in his hands.

It was turning into that kind of morning…

Sure enough, in the next moment, Chipple came running over in a mad panic, dressed in what appeared to be a shower curtain badly fashioned into a robe which covered most of his body, excluding his lower face. Tears were streaming down his face.

“Guntz! Guntz! Thank god you’re here! It’s horrible! My boxing outfit’s been stolen!”

“Let me guess…” Guntz said as he glanced over at Popka and Pango, who seemed as surprised at the pattern forming as he was. “It just seemed to disappear overnight.”

“Yes! Yes, that’s right!” Chipple said between tears. “It wasn’t where I always leave it, and now it’s gone, and I can’t box, and the tournament’s in a few days, and I don’t know what to do…!” And with that he collapsed to the floor in a sobbing mess.

“Guntz! There you are!” came a female voice from off in the distance, and Guntz looked round to see Leorina and the High Priestess, both looking perturbed and wearing their casual wear. Tat was trailing behind them both with a big smile on her face. Guntz let out a groan of frustration, knowing immediately what they were here for.

“Guntz, I don’t know what’s going on, but I won’t stand for it!” said Leorina angrily.

“Let’s see, your clothes disappeared overnight and now you’re angry about it.” Guntz said monotonously, holding a hand to his forehead in a mocking psychic gesture.

“Actually, mine did.” The High Priestess piped up, looking less furious but still put out. “When I awoke this morning, my priestess robes had been stolen. We’ve been looking for them all day, without success!”

“And on top of that, the scarf of the King Of Hyuponia was stolen from its case too!” Leorina cried out. “How are we supposed to crown a new king of the lost kingdom of Lunatea without his scarf?!”

Popka looked up at the commotion in amazement. “Incredible… all these clothes going missing overnight…”

Chipple seemed to have picked himself up and was almost frightened by the prospect. “It’s a clothes bandit! We’re all doomed!”

Guntz met Leorina’s eyes, and a moment of understanding flashed between them.

He gritted his teeth.

“Klonoa…”

…

“Klonoa! Open up!” Guntz yelled out as he knocked on Klonoa’s front door, a crowd of the others behind him. “We know you have everyone’s clothes, and we want them back!”

Receiving no response, Guntz tried to the doorknob, only to find it unlocked. Everyone pouring into Klonoa’s front room, they began to search for him in earnest. Most of them seemed angry or at least stern, but Tat was grinning from ear to ear for reasons none of them could fathom.

“You think Klonoa really did take our clothes?” Chipple asked Popka in wonderment.

“Better believe it.” Popka said with a scowl. “Lolo told me about how she woke up to him trying on her priestess garb.”

Chipple let out an impressed gasp. “Wow, I never thought he’d want to try my outfit out… I’d have given it him to try on in a heartbeat if I’d have known!”

Popka shook his head in exasperation. Some people you just couldn’t get through to…

As the group went through the house looking for Klonoa, they soon came upon his bedroom. All other options ruled out, they all got behind Guntz, who opened the door in a flurry of motion…

…they all stood their, mouths agape, aghast, almost paralysed by just what they were seeing.

There was Klonoa, alright. But he wasn’t just wearing one of their outfits. He was wearing some sort of weird amalgamation of their clothes. The High Priestess’ hat and robes, Pango’s overalls, Popka’s scarf, the King Of Sorrow’s along with it, and Chipple’s boxing gloves. All of which was either too big or too small for him so was hanging off his small frame, fragments of unused clothing items trailing all around him.

If he had looked ridiculous before, it was nothing compared to this.

He stared at them, frozen, a deer-in-the-headlights look upon his face, unable to even open his mouth to explain himself.

An awkward and uncomfortable silence hung in the air for a long moment…

…only to be broken by Tat’s loud, uncontrollable laughter, which rolled on and on for what seemed like eternity…

(Artwork by @BridgeOfFaust on Twitter, commissioned by rcs709)

Chapter Text

“…yes, yes, the Empire Of Jillius will remember your generosity. Good discussion and I wish you a safe journey home!”

Emperor Jillius was all smiles until the door closed behind the Volk Ambassador, at which point he collapsed against it in exhaustion.

So many diplomatic meetings, discussing political strategies, it was all so draining. He was happy to do it, after all his family had been the ruling body of the empire for a long time, but, even for a man only in his 20s, he was already feeling the strain.

He mused on the challenges that had fallen into his lap since he had been crowned Emperor when only 17 years old. First, it turned out his advisor Bagoo, who’d been serving his family for many years, had been putting him through chronic insomnia in a bid to control him and the Empire. It took the intervention of Klonoa to prevent such a disaster. And then, not too long afterwards, Garlen made a big for immortality, and he once again crossed paths with the cabbit in order to save both his people and the world at large.

All work and no play make fennecs dull boys.

He needed a vacation; he could easily make the time for it. But then he’d be expected to turn out in an official convoy, servants and bodyguards all round, who’d cater to his every whim whether he wanted them to or not, and he’d be followed by his subjects the entire time, which he just did not feel in the mood for.

He envied Klonoa. Despite all he had done, he could still walk around unaccosted and do stuff for fun like regular folk. Something Jillius wasn’t nearly as likely to experience.

If only he could meld into the crowd of common people at least once…

Then, an idea came into his head.

It was adventurous, dangerous, probably really stupid, but a grin came over his face as he began to head to his quarters, already brainstorming exactly what to do…

…

An announcement was given out to the staff at the palace: Jillius was embroiled in a number of political paperwork that it was vital he complete, and so he had locked himself in his private quarters to finish them and would not be back out until the following day. No service or check-ups were required, and everyone there was given a strict do-not-disturb order. He would let them know when this would change.

In reality, Jillius was no longer in the palace at all. He had asked a confidant, one of his highest ranking guards and a personal friend, to quietly smuggle him out without anyone noticing, which largely went off without a hitch as he was led out a back way. They did not quite understand his desire to be let out unescorted but trusted that he knew what he was doing.

Long before anyone could find out he was gone; he was on a high-speed ferry out of the empire and headed for Lunatea…

…

Denizens of Joilant walked along doing their own thing in the main plaza. The whole place was basically a giant amusement park. On every street were amusement centres and shops selling numerous souvenirs, toys, and whatever else one might need to have a good time.

Most of the locals were dressed in flashy, indulgent garbs, in fact eclipsing any tourists in gawdy outfits by a country mile, although the rotund bellies and oversized noses helped them stand out as well. It was because of this disconnect that a specific individual was able to get away with a slightly inconspicuous clothing style, as people simply wrote him off as a sightseer.

Jillius looked round behind a pair of dark sunglasses, hidden behind an oversized coat, hat and scarf. He had been afraid that his purple complexion and big ears would be a giveaway, but fortunately Joilant wasn’t as inundated with his image as back home, so most people paid him no mind, or at most gave him a polite smile as they passed by.

He ducked into one of the many shops, a few gold coins in his pockets, and bought a small keychain with the Joliant crest on it. A simple purchase, but when he was out here on his own, in disguise, it was absolutely thrilling.

Of course, this wasn’t a completely authentic experience of being a regular person, but it was quite different from a life of privilege at the top.

After looking around a bit more, another idea came to mind. He had only intended to hang around wherever the ferry arrived at for an hour or so then hurry back, but he found it too thrilling to stop now, and so decided to hop onto a shuttle train off towards Breezegale. He knew that Klonoa lived there, and his friends often visited him there, and so it would be fun to surprise them with a casual visit.

…

“…aaand that’s game! Guntz and Klonoa, 15, Chipple and Popka, 56!”

“Oh, c’mon ref!” yelled Guntz in a right fuss.

“Come now, Guntz, we gave it our all!” Klonoa said as he smiled and shook Chipple’s hand.

Guntz went off to cool down, muttering “they only won because we lost…” to himself as he wandered over to a nearby bar.

The group had visited Breezegale’s beach for the day, as the weather was perfect for a round of volleyball. Klonoa had seemingly gotten into the game first, and then a lot of his friends did as well. It was a good way to wile away the days when there wasn’t anything else to do.

Today, Klonoa had decided to wear the outfit that Guntz had gotten him, which was basically an exact replica of the wolf’s own uniform tailored to his size. Thus, the two had ended up as a double team against Chipple and Popka, while Lolo acted as the umpire of sorts. The name “Golden Killers” had been trialled as a team name, but Lolo didn’t like saying such a morbid term so it ended up not catching on.

As Klonoa waited around for Guntz to return, he decided to go over to the ice cream truck nearby and treat himself. Sitting at one of the tables was a figure in an oversized coat, hat and sunglasses which looked totally out of season.

As Klonoa bought his popsicle, the figure piped up.

“Looks like you’ve been having a fun time.”

Klonoa was about to agree with this mysterious stranger, when he suddenly got another look at them and did a double take.

“Emperor Jillius?!”

The initial shock gave way to a happy surprise as Klonoa ran over to greet the Emperor, who was in his heavy disguise. Klonoa may not have recognised him at first glance, but that voice and those purple ears added up to his true identity.

After shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, the conversation moved to the obvious.

“What are you doing all the way out here in that getup?!” Klonoa asked incredulously.

“Well, I felt like taking a day out!” Jillius replied with a smile, though that smile belied his discomfort in being in such a burly coat in this heat. “I suppose I could ask you the same sort of question.”

Klonoa looked down at his outfit and shrugged. “I… I guess so. But aren’t you hot in that thing?”

Jillius was about to deny it, but a bead of sweat fell from his brow and he finally gave in. “Y… yeah, I… I guess I am…”

Admitting defeat, Jillius took off the hat, scarf and coat, leaving him just in his trousers and a white shirt. It didn’t really matter that much if the others recognised him, they knew him too well anyway.

Smiling a little, Klonoa moved to head back to the volleyball game, before turning back. “Say, I don’t suppose you’d like to join us for a game, would you? I think I’m going to need a new partner while Guntz is off drowning his sorrows.”

Jillius looked over at the makeshift court and net they’d made nearby in the sand. He smiled, but with a slightly wistful look of things he’d never been able to try. “I guess, maybe… but I’ve never played it before. Never had time growing up in the palace, I guess.”

“Well, then we’ll teach you!” Klonoa said as he ran ahead. “C’mon!”

Jillius thought about it for a minute, before throwing caution to the wind and running along after him.

…

The next couple of hours were a blur, but the group ended up having a lot of fun. Jillius was initially a complete novice at the game, but quickly picked it up and became a formidable opponent. His taller stature compared to the others resulted in him being able to catch and block a lot better than they could.

Eventually Guntz came back, and once they were left with an odd number of players they decided to do one-per-side for a little while. Popka, Chipple, Lolo and Klonoa continued with some new matches, while Jillius and Guntz watched on nearby, the canine looking over at the Emperor with a surprised air. He had never seen him without his crown, and his white hair was actually quite a fitting look.

Something was on his mind, though, so he soon piped up.

“Say, Jillius, did you hear about Klonoa’s dress-up escapades that went on recently?”

Jillius looked over surprised. “Oh yes, the phone call you made! I do apologise again for the inconvenience that caused; did it go on too long afterwards?”

Guntz shrugged with a smirk. “Well, it came to a head when he made off with a bunch of our clothes and we caught him trying to wear them all at once.”

Jillius raised a hand to his mouth. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, I had no idea…”

Guntz let out a laugh and raised a hand to slow him down. “It’s fine, no lasting harm was done. The sight of him was so ridiculous that we kind of ended up forgetting to be angry.”

Jillius nodded, still feeling bad. “Were you able to find a way to stop it?”

Guntz thought for a moment. “Well, we kind of figured we’d need a way to placate it, so we went to this tailor and had a few different outfits made for him. I hear he spends quite a bit on clothes now, he loves trying out different looks.”

Jillius finally gave an amused smile. “Well, I guess it didn’t all turn out bad, then.”

As Guntz chuckled, Klonoa called them both over, Lolo having arrived with Popka so they could experiment with a 6 player game. Their discussion mostly closed; the pair got up to join them.

…

Jillius got his clothes ready as he freshened up in the unisex bathroom at the nearby bar. Luckily no one at the beach had recognised him, but then they weren’t as likely to as they would back home. Shaking the sand from his clothes and getting his hat and coat together, he got ready to get the train back to Joliant, and then the ferry back to the Empire. If all went well, he’d be back home by midnight.

As he turned around and prepared to head out and say his goodbyes to the others, he was met by a feline with differing colours on both sides on her body. One side white, the other dark purple.

“Heya there, Mr. Jillius.” Tat said with a smile. “Could I have a word before you go?”

Jillius looked round, already wearing his dark sunglasses again. No one was nearby, so he quietly nodded. He thought about ducking back into the bathroom for added privacy but decided against it.

 “Well, I know it wasn’t intentional, but I wanted to thank you for getting Klonoa onto his dressup fix!”

Jillius’ eyes widened in surprise, not quite expecting that. “Um, well, you’re welcome I guess.”

Tat smiled. “I mean it! It’s really fun to have another makeover buddy to go with Lolo, Leorina and her squeeze. It really suits him too, he really does pretty well!”

Jillus gave a nervous smile. “W-well, I’m glad that I could help with that.” He said before heading off.

“Oh, one more thing!” Tat called after him, and he stopped briefly.

“I wanna try and rope in some of his other friends into my makeover sessions, because I bet they’d look great in some extravagant drags, so… if you ever want to try it out as well, the offer’s open.”

Jillius blushed, too stunned to say anything in reply, but gave a polite nod in acknowledgement and headed off outside.

Tat smiled. She really did enjoy being able to dress up and pamper her friends. For as much as she teased them, she really did like spending time with them, talking and chatting about random gossip while they got all pretty and nice.

And as much as she was sure Klonoa’s guy friends would balk at the prospect, she did want to get to know them all better, and what better way than to have them all get together and try out different outfits and see how they looked on each other.

She grinned evilly.

One of these days…

THE END

Chapter Text

“…and of course, she’s always going on about her stamp collecting, and Leo seems to like it a lot, but it always feels like it puts me to sleep! No matter how much I try to stay awake, I never seem to get through a conversation with the High Priestess about them. Funny how that happens with such things, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.” Guntz grunted to Lolo as she was braiding his hair into a ponytail.

He was sat in front of a mirror in a chair, his hair shampooed and made nice, and makeup supplies lining the countertop in front of him waiting to be used. In the chair next to him, Klonoa was getting the same from Tat, who was talking shop about some banal gossip or another. In the most unmanly beauty salon known to man.

How did he get himself into such a situation?

…

Three days ago, he was out at a café with Klonoa and Lolo. They’d decided to grab lunch together, as it had been a rather quiet week, and they hadn’t done anything as a group in a while. Klonoa had gotten a burger, obviously, Guntz grabbed a rare steak, and Lolo simply went with a salad. A rather light offering compared to her male compatriots, but if she said so…

After eating and waiting for the waiter to return to come back with the cheque, the group got to talking about adventuring, which was more Guntz and Klonoa’s forte, but Lolo listened on with interest.

“There was this one guy who was such a blowhard.” Guntz waxed lyrically about a recent excursion. “Kept talking about he was the strongest around, and no one could beat him in a fight. Course, I just had to challenge him to one right then and there.”

“Naturally.” Said Lolo with a shrewd smirk.

“Yeah, and we expected it to be this big, amazing fight. I don’t think even Guntz expected to win, he just wanted the thrill of a good bout.” Klonoa chimed in, adding to the scenario as he remembered it. “But then he just went down at the start of the fight!”

“Should have seen it coming from how he tried to convince us to back up and “protect our street cred” or something. Looking back, he was scared shitless about actually getting in a fight. And in I come…”

Guntz made a motion of his right hand balled up into a fist, which he hit his left palm with.

“… right in the kisser, and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Not a fighting bone in his body. Seems he’d been coasting on reputation for so long he forgot to actually train for a fight. Everyone was just too intimidated to call his bluff!”

Letting out a laugh to rival his father’s, Guntz settled back into his seat with a satisfied smirk.

“Gee, sounds like you could give anyone a run for their money in a fight.” Lolo said with a hint of awe.

“Sure can.” Guntz grinned. “They don’t call me the Golden Killer for nothing!”

“I thought that was because of your guns.” Klonoa said.

“Shut up.”

Lolo chuckled at the pair’s banter. She loved hanging out with them both for this reason, they played off each other really well and it was a pleasure to just sit and watch the fireworks.

“Here, let me prove it.” Guntz said as he suddenly placed his arm straight up on the table, his elbow positioned on the surface. “Klonoa, care to arm wrestle?”

“Arm-what?” Klonoa replied, confused.”

Guntz groaned. “Just put your elbow flat on the table same as me and lock hands.”

Klonoa didn’t quite grasp the concept but did as he was told, locking hands with Guntz in the manner specified.

“3… 2… 1… GO!”

Almost immediately, Guntz forced Klonoa’s hand down onto the table and pinned it there, winning without the slightest issue.

As Klonoa tried in vain to free his hand, Guntz cackled madly. “Man, you should see the look on your face! Didn’t see that coming at all, did you?!” he bellowed before finally letting Klonoa’s arm go. “But there you go; I can do just fine against anyone.”

Lolo gave a polite clap, before something suddenly came to mind. Something she was surprised to be thinking, but which kind of thrilled her to try and do…

“Guntz, can I have a go?”

Guntz looked over at her, puzzled. “A go at what?”

“Arm wrestling. You and me.”

Guntz looked round, before giving a bemused chuckle. “You and me? Come on, Lolo, you’d stand no chance. You’re not exactly the fighting type.”

Lolo gave him a look, an eyebrow raised. “What do you mean by that? Are you saying I can’t fight? That I, as a lowly priestess, could never win against someone like you? Or are you simply scared by the possibility that you might lose?”

Indignation rose as he shot a look back at her. “Lose? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I ain’t afraid of losing to anyone.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about, then. So how about we go ahead and arm wrestle? If you don’t mind going up against a lowly priestess, that is.”

If Guntz hadn’t had his ego wounded, he might have read between the lines and realised Lolo was up to something. Instead, his indignation only rose higher. “Oh, is that how it’s gonna be? Fine. I’ll arm wrestle you, but how about we make it a bit more interesting?”

Lolo smiled sweetly. “I’m listening.”

Guntz racked his brain for a moment to think of a wager. “If I win, you have to… pay for this meal fully out of your own pocket and clean up my place until I can see my face in the dishes.”

Lolo nodded. “Very well. And if I win… you have to join me and Klonoa on a trip to that salon I’m taking him on later this week, and I’ll see to it you get a nice makeover same as him.”

Guntz grimaced. That was quite a wager. And a blow to his reputation if anyone were to find out. But there was no way he could lose to her, surely…?

“Fine. You’re on.”

A smirk on her lips, Lolo placed her elbow on the table, Guntz doing the same as they locked hands, Klonoa watching on with bated breath.

“Alright…” Guntz began. “3… 2… 1… GO!”

...

“Tell me Lolo, how the hell did you win that arm wrestling game? You wouldn’t say a word in the café.”

“Oh, it was quite simple.” Lolo said as she applied eyeliner on Guntz. “Leo’s been teaching me. She showed me how to use someone’s strength against them and maintain my own endurance at the same time. She’s really quite a good teacher, you know.”

“Mhm, yeah, great.” Guntz muttered, still in the salon, being made up. “And did you plan this from the beginning, or did you just jump at the chance to humiliate me?”

“Not humiliate you, no.” Lolo tutted. “But ever since Klonoa got onto this dress-up fix, I’ve been wondering what you’d look like with a bit more of a feminine touch. All that masculine clothing you wear, you never let a sparkle into your appearance! It was high time you tried something new.”

“You got that right!” Tat squeaked from nearby as she applied mascara to Klonoa’s face.

Guntz growled. The sooner this was over, the better.

…

Lolo and Tat waited outside the changing rooms as Guntz and Klonoa got into the new clothes they had picked out for them. There were quite a few sounds of frustration from Guntz’s booth as he clearly had difficulty getting it on, but eventually Klonoa appeared, fully kitted out.

Klonoa’s outfit absolutely oozed pink and frills, which went with him giving them carte blanche to make him as feminine as they wanted. A big poofy dress with lots of lace and a pink heart brooch, a matching pink version of his beloved hat, and even some pink heels with little bows on them. As for makeup, he’d been given the works, complete with eyeliner, blush, fake eyelashes, and even a little lipstick to go with it. Even his ears were braided like pigtails.

As he rushed over to the nearest mirror and gushed at his appearance, Guntz reluctantly stepped out of his booth, wearing his own outfit. He grimaced as he saw Lolo and Tat’s reactions, and he averted his eyes from the mirror, so he didn’t have to see himself.

“Come on, Guntz.” Lolo said reassuringly as she took his hand. “I think you look really pretty. You should see yourself.”

Guntz didn’t really want to but knew he probably wouldn’t hear the end of it if he didn’t, so finally he took a deep breath and looked in the mirror.

He wasn’t as garishly dressed as Klonoa, but there was still a tastefully feminine look there. His dress wasn’t as flashy as his friend’s, but still quite pink, and fit his figure nicely, even letting his neck floof sit freely without clashing at all. His shoes were similar to ballet pumps, and he had been given a pair of silk gloves to wear on his hands. He didn’t have as much makeup on, just a little eyeliner and blush to help compliment his outfit. And on his right ear was a pink bow, matching another affixed to his ponytail.

“Well?” Lolo smiled. “What do you think?”

Guntz didn’t say a word, just staring in the mirror with a stunned expression. As he did, he took in every detail of his outfit and appearance as a surprising feeling began to grow, one that wasn’t negative at all. He never thought he would be thinking something like this, but…

He kind of liked how he looked. He looked cute…

Chapter Text

Ellie walked through the palace grounds looking for her uncle, Emperor Jillius. Having been staying with him for some time, she had received word that Klonoa and his friends had arrived at the palace with important news for him, so she decided to go and fetch him personally rather than just sending one of the palace staff to do it. After all, if the cabbit and his friends had turned up, whatever they were here for had to be important.

The problem was, she couldn’t seem to find him. She’d knocked on his bedroom door, checked his throne room, even done a couple of laps around the palace gardens, but with no luck. She had asked all around but none of the servants or guards had a clue where he was. They were sure he hadn’t left the palace, or they would have seen him, but no one could recall having seen him for at least two or three hours.

As she became more desperate, she began looking in increasingly odd places that she knew he would almost certainly not be, like the palace kitchens or staff quarters or even in the rather dingy depths of the royal dungeons. No dice.
It was like he had simply disappeared into thin air.

Growing increasingly worried about the prospect that her uncle had been kidnapped, she began looking any possible place that she had not yet checked, and it was while doing this that she went up to a small cupboard under a flight of stairs, flung the door open on a wild hunch… and stopped dead in her tracks.

There was the Emperor, in his royal robes, sat on the floor in the tiny cupboard in a way that meant he had to bend his legs to fit. A mirror was balanced on his knees, a hair comb held in his hand and a tiny lightbulb on the roof was all that illuminated his frame. That wasn’t the unusual part, though.

What was unusual was that he had taken off his crown and had been doing something with his hair. He’d tied most of it up into a ponytail which fell behind his head, and he’d brushed his front fringe into a set of distinctive hair tufts that pointed to his right.

It didn't just look like a new hairstyle. It looked exactly like her hair…

He stared at her, a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, both of them completely lost for words.

Finally, Ellie managed to gather her senses enough to speak.

“Um… Uncle Jillius, what are you doing?”

He just stared at her for a moment, as if he’d forgotten how to speak, before seeming to realise how odd this looked, cleared his throat, and finally began to stammer a response.

“Er, well, Ellie, I thought your hairstyle was a good look, so I wanted to see how it looked on, um, me….”

So completely dumbfounded by the whole thing was Ellie that she ultimately decided it wasn’t worth questioning further and got back to why she had been looking for him for a clawing return to normalcy.

“Klonoa and his friends have arrived at the palace and wanted to see you. They say they have news for you.”

“Ah, right.” Jillius chuckled nervously. “Tell them I will be down to meet them shortly.”

Ellie nodded, and quickly shut the door again before booking it down the hall, completely flabbergasted by the whole situation. Something told her this was that cabbit’s fault somehow, but she couldn’t place why she thought that.

There was only one thing for it; she’d have to change her hairstyle. This one had suddenly lost its appeal…

(Note: Ellie is an OC made by @Jeyrolami for their Klonoa fan comic Dream Crusaders, where she stars both as Jillius' niece and one of Klonoa's newfound allies. I originally wrote this short piece last year for their birthday, and reckon it is thematically fitting enough to post as an interlude to this story.)

Chapter Text

Guntz was at home one morning, going through some of his old ammunition to find useable rounds when the door opened and someone walked inside, keeping quiet so he didn't notice. Just when he was about to get up and stretch he felt a tap on the shoulder and leapt into the air, letting out a decidedly unmanly shriek of fear before calming down when he saw who it was: Popka, looking smugger than usual.

"EEK! I mean, argh! What the hell, Popka! Make yourself at home, why don't you?!" Guntz yelled in indignation.

"Sup, Guntz." Popka said. "You look busy."

Letting out a derisive snort, Guntz turned around back to the pile of miscellaneous shells he had been combing through. "That's right, and I'm not getting less busy so make with why you're here or make yourself scarce."

Grinning to himself, Popka got right to business and pulled something out from behind him; a photograph. "Very well. Do you, by any chance, recognise this photo?"

Guntz turned around with a sigh, before catching sight of the photo and turning white in panic. Unable to say a word he tried to scramble to grab it from Popka's claws but the dog-creature simply jumped up to the rafters and out of reach, leaving Guntz collapsed on the floor looking up at him.

The photo was from a few weeks prior, and showed Guntz and Klonoa both dressed up in full girly pink dresses and makeup, while Lolo stood between them showing off her handiwork. He had lost a bet, and had been forced to sit through a makeover courtesy of Lolo and Tat, the latter of whom had taken the photo for posterity. The grim expression on Guntz's face in the picture told the whole story of how enthusiastic he was about that.

"Where in the name of FUCK did you get that?" Guntz croaked.

"Found it." Popka said plainly. "I was looking at some of the pictures in Lolo's scrapbook and spotted this. Seemed odd so I decided to verify that it really was you in the photo. Seems by your reaction I was right on the money."

Trying to regain control of the situation, Guntz attempted to get up when something occurred to him. "W... wait, you go through Lolo's stuff?"

"Don't change the subject."

Popka held the photo in his hand, running it between his fingers. "The way I see it, this seems like something you'd prefer not to be seen by anyone. Hell, think about what would happen to your tough mercenary reputation if your peers were to see this and realize what you get up to?"

Horror crossed Guntz's face as it dawned on him what Popka was getting at. "Oh piss off, are we actually doing this? Are you REALLY trying to blackmail me right now?!"

"Is it working?"

Guntz groaned in frustration and buried his head in his hands. As much as he hated himself for thinking it, Popka was right. Guntz's tough outward demeanor was the bread and butter of his role both as a hero and as a bounty hunter. He'd be a laughing stock if any of his tough guy buddies saw that photo.

Finally, after a long silence, he spoke. "Fine. You win. What are your terms?"

With a triumphant grin, Popka jumped back down from the rafters and stood in front of Guntz. "Let me lay it out for ya real easy. If we work this out, I'll see to it that this photo never gets seen by anyone. But I want a few things from you, and if I don't get them I'm sending this to every news service in Lunatea. And you'd better not go blabbing to anyone that I have it. Capiche?" 

Guntz winced. He didn't need this, not today or any day. "Screw it, fine, yeah. Whatever it takes to keep that photo a secret, I'll do."

Chuckling to himself, Popka put the photo away again and rubbed his claws in anticipation. "Good lad. Now, to start, I want you to buy me enough bottles of fizzy soda to last me the rest of the week. A pack of twenty should do. And I want tickets to the new Revenge Of The Cyber-Moo movie that premieres this weekend. And while you're at it, make sure it's a good seat! And of course I'll want you to order takeout pizza for me, give me your old comic books, give me a backrub, a glass of ginger ale, a donut..."

Guntz's jaw dropped as Popka's list of demands grew longer and longer. All of a sudden he was starting to consider if he was better off just showing everyone the photo himself...

...

Later that day, Klonoa and Lolo were walking through the park in La-Lakoosha, enjoying the sunny day. The flowers were in bloom, which was exciting for Lolo's gardener side, and Klonoa was happy when she was happy. The only flaw in this nice walk was that Guntz wasn't with them. They had gone by his house but he wasn't in, so he was perhaps off chasing down some criminal.

As they rounded a corner they heard an odd noise and stopped in their tracks at the sight in front of them. Guntz was on all fours and walking down the path towards them, while Popka was riding on his back shouting things like "GIDDYUP!"

Guntz's heart sank when he saw Klonoa and Lolo were up ahead. Of all the people who had to see him be humiliated like this...

Klonoa and Lolo were both so shocked at the sight that they were at a complete loss for words before Lolo finally spoke.

"Um, Guntz, are you alright?"

Laughing sarcastically, Guntz made a face. "Yeah! Fine! Never better! Everything's real fuckin' peachy here!"

Popka kicked Guntz in the side to shut him up. "Quiet! Noble steeds don't talk, do they?"

Lolo turned her attention to Popka. "Popka, what in Claire's name are you doing?"

Popka shrugged. "Oh, nothing. Just didn't feel like using my legs this afternoon. Luckily I knew just the person to lend a hand and he was all too happy to help!"

Klonoa was completely stupefied at the sight, not quite able to rationalize it. Lolo, meanwhile, looked increasingly concerned.

"Popka, what's going on here? Why are you making Guntz carry you around? Surely he didn't just agree to do this."

Deciding that he had no interest in trying to come up with excuses, Popka instead decided to make his escape. "Sorry, no time to talk! Gotta be down at the ice cream place within the hour!"

Kicking Guntz's side again, he cried out "RIDE LIKE THE WIND!" and Guntz, looking decidedly pissed off, crawled away with speed and round the corner out of sight.

Only when the pair were alone did Klonoa find his tongue and speak.

"J... Jeez, Lolo! Did you see that? I never thought Guntz would do something like that!"

"I don't like it." Lolo said quietly with an uncharacteristically firm look. "You and I know Guntz well enough to know he'd never demean himself like that. Looks to me like Popka was forcing him to do it."

"Forcing him?" Klonoa said. "How'd he manage that?"

"I may have some idea." Lolo muttered. "Do you know what I found missing this morning?"

"No?"

"One of the photos from my scrapbook. A photo of the makeover me and Tat gave you and Guntz, remember?"

"Oh!" Klonoa said in recognition, before the implications sunk in. " Oh... you think Popka took it."

"Who else could have gotten into my room and seen it? Mark my words, Popka's holding that photo over Guntz's head. Probably has him doing all sorts of stuff for his own amusement."

Klonoa considered these words, and he began to feel worried for Guntz's sake. "What do we do, then? He might show everyone the photo if we tried to confront him. He'd probably think Guntz snitched on him!"

Lolo thought hard. She cared a lot for Guntz and seeing him being treated like this by someone she considered her best friend really upset her. She thought he was better than this. What if he had been the one who had an embarrassing photo taken of him...?

Then she got an idea. It was probably diabolical, but at this point she was sure Popka deserved it. And she wasn't going to take Guntz receiving such shabby treatment lying down.

"What we need to do is give Popka a taste of his own medicine..."

...

Popka yawned as he walked up to Lolo's dorm room at the Claire Moa temple. It had been quite a fun day of bossing Guntz around and having him wait on him hand and foot. He'd probably do it for a few more days, then cut the guy some slack and put the photo back in Lolo's scrapbook.

It wasn't like she would notice it was gone, or anything...

As he opened the door, he saw Klonoa and Lolo waiting for him, both of them sat down and facing the door.

Lolo smiled sweetly at his arrival, though there was a dangerous look in her eyes. "Hey, Popka! What did you get up to today?" 

Popka chuckled nervously, not liking the look she was giving him. "Oh, not much. Was just out with some friends and stuff."

Lolo got up from her chair. "Is that so? You seemed to be having quite the time with Guntz earlier." There was a slightly accusatory tone to her voice which made Popka sweat nervously, unable to think of a good excuse.

"Oh you know Guntz, always ready to make people laugh, that scamp!" was the cover story he finally decided upon, the desperation all too clear in his tone.

Klonoa chuckled a little at that cock-and-bull statement, but Lolo stayed quiet, circling Popka slowly as she planned her next move.

"Say Popka, we've been thinking, Klonoa and I, and we've decided that you've been left out of some of our get-togethers as of recent."

"Oh?"

"Oh, yes." Lolo drawled as she returned to Klonoa's side, one hand behind her back. "And we decided to change that. We've been going on some makeovers together recently, and we're certain that it's high time you joined us!"

Popka stared at her, not expecting that. "Um, I'm flattered, but I'll have to pass. Dressing up as a girly-girl doesn't sound like my idea of a good time. No offense."

Lolo shrugged. "None taken. Just seemed like you would be interested considering how much of an interest you took in Guntz getting involved!" She said, raising her voice before bringing her hand up to show the pilfered photograph in her hands.

Popka yelped in surprise and searched around his person for the photo, only to find it not there. He was certain it had been when he walked in.

"How did you..."

Lolo giggled. "A lady never reveals her secrets. And considering how much of a hard time you gave Guntz, it only seems fair to see what the appeal of it is for yourself, don't you think?"

Popka looked around, backing away slowly, ready to bolt for the door. "C'mon guys, it was just a joke! Can't you take me having a little fun?!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and Lolo gave a smile.

"Klonoa, sweetheart, could you get the door?"

Klonoa nodded and went over to open it, before a blur of black and white came hurtling in.

"HI POPKA DARLING, THERE YOU ARE!"

Popka screamed in fear and jumped back as he saw Tat floating in the doorway, her arms laden with different makeup and dress-up supplies.

"I must say, Popka, it's broken my heart how you've always refused to come down to the salon so I can make you look all nice. But Lolo and Klonoa gave me a call and, well, let's just say they convinced me to show the initiative! I've got everything set up and ready for you!"

Popka tried to crawl away in fear before Lolo picked him up and brought him towards Tat.

"N-no! Guys, no! I refuse! Timeout! TIMEOUT!!!"

"Sorry, Popka." Lolo said gravely. "I really don't like it when you try to bully my boyfriends."

Holding her arms out she passed Popka over to Tat, who quickly started floating towards the door with him in a firm grip.

"Don't you worry, Popka, you're gonna love the new you!" Tat trilled as Popka screamed, the door closing behind them as his fate was sealed...

...

Guntz lay down in bed, utterly dejected. This had been a really bad day. Maybe not the worst day of his life, he'd had his fair share, but it was in the top ten. Hopefully that mutt would eventually get bored and stop tormenting him.

The rotary phone on his bedside table rang, and Guntz groaned in frustration as he went over to answer.

"What?"

"Guntz?" Klonoa's name rang out. "You up?"

"I am now." Guntz muttered. "This better be good."

"It is. Listen, we figured out that Popka was blackmailing you with that photo. We confronted him just now and you can be sure he won't be doing it again."

Guntz jumped out of bed, now fully awake. "Y... you did? A-and the photo?"

"Lolo got it back." Klonoa continued. "She's going to make sure it's kept safe so you don't feel embarrassed about it being seen anymore."

Guntz stared straight ahead for a moment, before jumping up in silent joy that the ordeal was finally over. Then, he collected himself so Klonoa wouldn't notice over the line. "I, um... I see. That twerp is getting his just desserts, I hope?"

"Something like that?" Klonoa replied, a little amusement in his voice. "Actually, Lolo called up Tat and arranged to give Popka a makeover of his very own. Thought it seemed like a fitting punishment for running you ragged all day. She took him down to the salon just now."

An evil look crossed Guntz's face. "Say no more. I'll be right there." he said, before hanging up. Throwing on some clothes, he rummaged through some drawers before finding an old camera with a reel of film still inside. He grinned.

Now the ball was in his court...