Chapter Text
Under the blue of the fake sky, the birds were chirping. Laughters were coming from the outside of these four walls. Or was it from the inside? It did not matter. This ambiance felt contradictory. People shouldn’t be laughing in jail.
Juvenile jail… Now this was a place Norea never expected to find herself in one day. Always expected to be found dead inside her Gundam rather than actually being caught alive.
She deserved such an ending, there was no argument to be had here. Her hands were tainted red by the blood of the innocents she spilled. But in her eyes, Spacians were never innocent. How could they be, when all they did was laugh and eat as much as they wanted while the Earthian were suffering because of the War they created. Just so they could have more money to spend for their golden space stations and indoctrinating schools. None of them were innocent, since none of them ever seemed to try to do anything for them. They all watched in silence. They deserved what happened to them. But they would never understand her. The only person that could was no longer here. So when she was interrogated, she stayed silent, not breaking eye contact with the agents in front of her.
She learned that she wouldn’t be stuck here for as long as she thought she would be. Many things have happened since her attack on the school, including the Prince - Shaddiq Zenelli - apparently taking the full blame for everything. Meaning of course both of her main crimes: the attacks on Plant Quetta and the attack on Asticassia.
Three years seemed like nothing. Because she was a minor, only 15 years old, she was not judged responsible enough to have been through with these acts willingly. In their words, she was groomed for violence, so in a way, she was a victim, too. So she deserved a second chance at life. How ignorant they were of the reality of their world if this is what they thought about her. She wasn't just some kid. She was one of Earth's last standing witches, fighting with all her heart for their rights. If it meant Sophie and her friends would get all they wanted, she would do it all over again… And more. Spacians' lives be damned.
Shaddiq’s other young accomplices took less than her, because they were not as involved directly as she was, and unlike her, they never killed anyone… Outside of maybe some Grassley agents. Since Nika was in such a hurry to confess everything, she took three years like her, because the deaths from Plant Quetta were indirectly linked to her actions. A stupid honest girl until the very end. That's what spending too much time with Spacians does to you.
To her, three years were not enough. Everyone she knew and loved was dead, so she was in no hurry to leave this place. She was scared to die, but she did not know how and what to live for anymore. Nothing was waiting for her beyond these three years. Here she was at a point where she would rather rot here surrounded by dumb Spacians teenagers and their glorified guard dogs than go out and exist in a world where in the end, they never mattered.
What was the point?
“Norea Du Noc.”
She looked up from the sheet of paper she was scribbling on to meet the eyes of one of the jail’s employees. Disgusting, keep that look for your mirror, you Earthian killer.
“The weekly visits have started and someone is here to see you.”
Now that was a surprise.
This is how she came face to face with Elan Ceres for the first time since he reached for her that day. It would be a lie to say she hadn’t thought of him. His heartfelt words sometimes flashed in her mind, like an ephemeral light in the darkness that was the current state of her heart. But it felt futile to try clinging to them. Running away was not her thing. And so was pointless attachment. Maybe it was a good thing he never got the chance to steal her away from the reality of this world like he foolishly hoped to.
But here he was standing before her again, that naive hopeful boy. They were sitting across from each other on simple chairs, a table separating them. Other similar pairs of detainees and visitors were surrounding them and as expected, she could feel multiple pairs of eyes on them.
“Long time no see.”
Elan was smiling at her. Silence followed his casual greetings.
“You seem better than the last time we saw each other.”
The last time they saw each other, she almost got vaporized alongside her Gundam’s whole cockpit. The only reason she was here today was because he had refused to let go when she tried to push him away. This action had saved her life when she had finally been ready to let it burn away. Seeing the familiar silhouette of the Ur reaching so desperately for her had been the last straw. For one second she could have almost believed that it was her. Sophie, back from the dead, returning just for her. But it was not the case. Of course she seemed better now that she no longer was inside a Gundam.
“The Gundams are no more. No one will have to risk their lives like you did.”
It was as if he could read her mind. A world without Gundam… Before, she found value in her life by letting it be used inside one of these machines. Did the fact that she survived really matter now that it was certain she could no longer fight?
"No more curses, no more witches, hopefully no more experience involving enhanced humans… Now it is only you and me that can really understand what it used to feel like. Or maybe it is not!"
"..."
His smile was so wide, she hated it. Not his smile, just how fake it felt. When they first met, it was the first thing she noticed : nothing about him was genuine. Even his own face was not his real one. He was like a big onion, covered in layers of lies upon lies. His carefree attitude was fake, his laughter when surrounded by the Earth House folks was fake, even his creepy attraction towards Suletta Mercury was fake.
Sophie was anything but fake.
"Suletta Mercury faced the curse too. We got to talk about it."
"She actually agreed to talk with you? Congratulations are in order."
At her reply, his smile shifted. It almost seemed genuine. As if he was happy to hear her talk back like that. Suddenly, it felt like she was back in that room with him, as he was trying to see how far he could manage to push her buttons. But here, his intentions did not seem as wicked under the surface of his casual grin. It was as if he was trying to test the waters.
"She is still at the hospital. You should have seen her when they evacuated her. She looked terrible! She still does, but she’ll get better. She is surrounded by many people that care, so I’m not too worried about her."
Disgusting, he almost looked happy about it. This subject was no laughing matter. This curse was what took Sophie from her after all.
"I am more worried about you. Don't worry, Norea. The understanding of Suletta Mercury is not enough for me to abandon you."
“Did you come all this way just to tell me that?”
Was he expecting her to be relieved after hearing that? To fall on her knees before him, to beg him with tears in her eyes to not leave her alone? She felt abandoned from the very moment Sophie died. When that Dominicus Sniper aimed at the Thorn as he was pleading for her to learn how to live alongside him… When she realized even her rowest anger was powerless and it was the end of her hope… She realized that she really had nothing more to lose. Him visiting her or not won’t change a thing. She did not care for Suletta Mercury. And she did not care about his own feelings on the matter. She did not need his worry, not when he was still incapable of understanding her.
“Well, I mainly wanted to see you. And also… I thought you might want this back."
It was her notebook! His smile grew amused when he saw how quick she was to react once she noticed it.
"Don't worry, I took great care of it."
He offered it to her with one hand, and she was quick to reach for it. She half expected him to put it out of her reach at the last second, so he could blackmail her with it or something. But the trickery never came.
"There you go! You're not even going to thank me for it?"
She glared at him, internally wishing she could stab one of his eyes with a pencil.
"Shut up."
Of course, he did anything but that.
"Why…"
"Why what, Norea?"
Stop saying that name like that so casually.
"Why are you still visiting me?"
"Why shouldn't I? You're always a joy to be around."
She glared at him.
"What? This wasn't sarcasm."
"You're hilarious."
"Now that was sarcasm! See the difference?"
No matter how many times she tried to ignore him, simply looking at the table instead of at him, keeping her mouth tightly shut… He always came back to see her the next week. He kept her updated on the recent news outside, what he did for the week. The one-sided conversations they had were oddly banal. Wasn't being stuck with her for so many days in that Grassley's basement without any windows not enough for him? Here, she couldn’t shut him up like she always tried to, armed with her trusty pen. Or maybe she should, so her sentence here would get longer. It would annoy more people than it would actually annoy her.
For what felt like an eternity, he looked at her with a stupid confused expression. She should be the one making that face, not him. His big green eyes were shining with something she could not properly identify. It was disturbing, and he did that too often for her taste. When he wasn’t busying himself with the sound of his own voice, he liked to simply stare at her. Good luck trying to unravel that façade of hers.
"Does it bother you? That I keep visiting you?"
"I don’t really care."
"Why the question then? I thought you were going to try to scare me away or something."
"Don't sound too disappointed…"
He laughed.
"...I was just curious."
She was expecting him to have run away after that big battle of theirs. But guess he was full of surprises. Just as she was full of contradictions. Maybe it was because the weird interest he held for her was hard to ignore, but it seemed like Norea was trying her hardest to find reasons to hate him, to push him away… Or maybe it was because he was the only person that ever came to visit her. He was the only person she could take her frustration out on. Because inside these cold four walls that were always surrounding her, he felt more real than anything else.
It was scary. She hated that feeling.
"I see."
He was free now. Peil was no more, the Gundam curse was no more. Maybe it was enough for him to stop running, now that all the threats to his precious life were disposed of?
Oh such a simple life to be living. If only things could be as easy for her.
And here he was, wasting time of his precious life visiting her. He could very well ask for a room in this jail too at this point. If Sophie was here, she probably would have shouted that he deserved it for acting the way he did around Suletta.
"I am glad."
"What are you talking about?"
"I am glad that you are curious about me."
His smile then felt different. It made her sick. It almost looked like…
She really couldn't get a read on that guy. Her walls still stood high. It would be a mistake to bring her guard down just for what seemed to be one genuine smile.
After that last visit, Elan Ceres just vanished. Maybe he finally did grow tired of her. She wasn't missing him in the slightest. This emptiness in her heart was Sophie shaped. No one else but her could fill it. No matter how hard he tried. Norea had already decided that as a fact. But in the end, it didn't matter, since he seemingly stopped trying - if he even genuinely did try at one point.
Until one day, he came to visit again.
"It has already been almost two years now."
Two years already… Her time spent in juvenile jail felt like an instant. It was so calm, too calm compared to her old life with Dawn of Fold. It lacked the disgusting thrill of piloting the Thorn. it lacked the thrill of sometimes having to live in the wild back on Earth. It lacked Sophie's high pitched voice and laughter full of life.
The only constant was her drawings… And, it used to be him and his visits. Her style and preferred subject had evolved in these two years. She was starting to draw more portraits. Portraits of the people she saw everyday and portraits of the people she missed. She would rather die than to directly acknowledge the fact that she did end up drawing from memory his borrowed face as well as Nika's own face. At least, Nika was a fellow inmate, so drawing her wasn't as embarrassing as drawing him. But the one she always ended up drawing the most was Sophie. Everyday her face would show up in her notebook, just like she always did in the corner of her mind. It was the best way she found to properly immortalize her. Norea would never forgive herself if she forgot what her smile was like or how her laughter sounded like. The day Sophie’s face would only be a blur in her memory, then Norea would truly have lost herself.
She was pondering on whether or not to ask him what he was up to these last few months he was absent from her life, but he beat her to it, opening his mouth before she had the chance to.
"Your birthday is coming soon, isn't it? Next week if i am not mistaken?"
Her eyebrows furrowed at this statement. She was not losing count of the days, so she knew he was right on the date.
"How do you know that?"
She was suddenly feeling quite defensive about it.
"I went to Earth. Met some folks from your old little group… what was it called again, the Dawn of Fold? Anyway, I asked some of them about you and this is how I got this information, alongside other stuff.... Age, birthday, favorite color, favorite food…"
At that, Norea sighed.
"Why…"
"Because I was curious."
"About my age and birthday?"
He could have just asked her rather than getting lost through Earth trying to find some of her old acquaintances. The way he seemed to have put his hands on this information easily made her feel uneasy.
“Well… Yes?”
This felt oddly specific.
“The folks from Earth House celebrated Martin’s birthday the other day, it made me realize I did not know when yours was… And that I didn’t even know how old you actually were.”
“So… You went all the way to Earth just for that?”
It was… Flattering. But it still made her feel weird, knowing how much this guy seemed to think about her on a daily basis.
“There was something else I was hoping to find on Earth too.”
Suddenly, she didn’t feel like talking anymore. But it did not seem to bother him. They stayed like that in silence for a while. Around them, people were starting to leave. She was starring at her hands on the table. She did not need to look up to know he was still smiling at her.
“Your hair is getting longer.”
Without really meaning to, she ran her hand through it.
“I think it looks great.”
The next time she has the opportunity, she will definitely cut it. Maybe even shorter than what she had before.
“You stopped wearing your earrings.”
“I always hated having to wear them. I don’t dislike earrings in general, but I hated having to wear this specific pair… Because it-.”
“I don’t care why you chose to stop wearing them.”
“You cared enough to notice I wasn’t wearing them anymore.”
This casual banter was leading nowhere. Actually, it was just starting to piss her off even more. Igniting just a bit too much the already boiling anger in her that had awakened at his sight… Standing here unbothered by the fact that it was his first appearance in front of her in almost a year.
"Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on going to Earth last time?"
There was that smile again…
"Were you worried I would never come back to visit or something?"
"I couldn’t care less."
An obvious lie. But Norea wanted him to believe it was only the mention of Earth that caught her attention, not the fact that he went missing from her life without notice. But the slight anger in her voice was betraying her real feelings on the matter.
"Did you have fun, celebrating your friend's birthday?"
"You mean Martin’s? I didn't go."
This was enough to silence her out of surprise.
“Back then, I was only hanging out at their House because of the mission Peil gave me. I wouldn’t exactly call them my friends. And I’m sure that feeling is mutual.”
He was so carefree about it.
“They were probably only being polite by inviting me. Anyway…”
His voice was back filling the silence she was used to. He was jumping from one discussion topic to the other, not minding the fact that she wasn’t talking much, even though he was giving her so many opportunities to do so.
At one point, he looked up at the only clock of the room while she was too busy getting lost in her own thoughts.
"Here, take this."
"Hm?"
Before her, an envelope laid on the table. He had taken it out of his traveling bag.
"What's that?"
"The reason I went to Earth in the first place."
"..."
She looked at it in silence. Since he was planning on giving it to her, it was probably checked by the security agent. So it wasn't anything too personal like a letter or one of her old belongings he could have picked up after meeting the guys from Earth. If there was anything she could trust about him, it was that he wasn't a fan of exposing secrets that did not concern him. Especially hers.
“Time’s up, Mister Ceres.”
He was the only visitor left. Always the last one to leave.
“Already? Oh well, guess it can’t be helped!”
He wasted no time standing up. But before turning to talk to the newcomer, he looked at the envelope she had instinctively already taken in her hand.
“Please don't throw it away without looking at it!”
She gave him a deadpan look - or at least she tried, it wasn’t that far from her default expression - but it seemed to only amuse him.
“See you soon, Norea.”
“Wait…”
Her lips had moved before she could help it.
“When I am finally allowed to leave this place… Will you tell me about your birthday too?”
He smiled, then.
“Of course.”
As he finally left, Norea noticed his hair had gotten longer, too.
She may never admit it directly, but she was happy to see him again. Some people here never received any visits, while some actually had people waiting for them… Like Nika. She wondered sometimes, if the folk at the Dawn of Fold were waiting for her to come back one day. But now, by this promise of having to share another information about himself, she was sure to have at least one person waiting for her. She would not be alone. He may not be Sophie, but maybe, he could at least help to drive away that fear of loneliness from her heart. Better than nothing.
Soon, it will be time for them to eat. Then, she’ll be able to go back to the calm of her room. There, she’ll be able to open it, that envelope from Earth.
Then, she will just throw it away.