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"Aneki!" Minami shouted as he rushed over, "D'ya need help with carrying all that?!"
She sighed, "No, Minami-san. I'm fine."
He pouted, "Ya sound dooown. What's up?"
"...It's the fact you keep asking this."
"Haw?"
She paused in her steps. "Do you think I'm less capable or something?"
He shook his head frantically, "No! No, no no no Aneki, that ain't it!"
"Then what is it?"
"Yer a woman, 'n that means-- that means offerin' ya help, right?"
She huffed, starting to walk again, and he stumbled forward to match.
"L-look, I don't... I don't mean ya harm! I know ya ain't less capable, I just... It's what I'm s'posed to do... Ain't it?"
Oh boy.
"But I wasn't... born one," she sighed a little as she said it, "I have the same kind of strength, training, and capability as any of the men here. I wasn't forced to skip out on it the way a lot of women are, you know?"
He didn't seem to quite put together what she was saying, and she sighed again.
"Men offer women help because most of them don't have the same capability. Not a lot train their bodies. They certainly never become yakuza."
"'Cause they can't..." he said, squinting in thought.
"Right. So yeah I'm a woman, but I'm working under different rules... I know the weight I can carry, and the weight I can't. If I need help, I'll ask for it myself."
Was that too blunt? Maybe, she thought. But if it helped him to understand what she was saying... to make him realise he was making her feel bad.
"...Okay."
He shoved his hands into his pockets, continuing to walk alongside her, now looking deep in thought.
An eternity seemed to pass before he spoke up again.
"I'm real sorry, Aneki. Ya are strong... way more than I understand. I wanna do good by ya."
She chuckled softly, "I appreciate it, and I forgive you. And you know... You're not so bad yourself, Minami-san."
Sitting and eating lunch was usually such a relief.
Not in this last week, though. In lieu of Minami always asking if Nishida needed help, now he was always asking if she wanted some of his lunch. It was a nice gesture, but today...
"Look, ain't this one fuckin' adorable?" he grinned. And yeah, he was right, it was. The cut fruits and vegetables were a little bit sloppy, and the rice wasn't quite firmly compacted enough, but it was definitely a bear surrounded by a rainbow.
"It is. Did you make this one yourself...?"
He nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah!"
"You did a good job," she smiled.
He looked like he could rocket up into the heavens with how happy that made him. "I'm so fuckin' glad! Ya want some?!"
The offer was oddly tempting this time... He put his own time and energy into this, into trying to impress her, clearly. Her own sandwich and boiled egg combo was plain in comparison...
"I'll have a bit, then," she nodded.
He dove straight into the box, plucking out a cherry tomato with his chopsticks and guiding it to her mouth. When she tried to take it with her fingers, in an effort to feel a little less awkward about this, he whined.
"Anekiii. Lemme feed ya."
"Wh-what?" she stammered, "I'm a grown woman, I- I can feed myself..."
"Pleeease?"
He looked... sort of cute pleading to her like this, it was hard to deny him.
What? No, it just... he wasn't going to stop, he was persistent like that unless she chewed him out, and this was an innocent gesture. She could entertain him a little bit, after the effort he went through to do this.
"...Just this once."
As she took the little tomato in her mouth, Minami seemed positively giddy. She hummed happily, "S'good... Thank you."
"Ain't no trouble, Aneki!"
So that became their lunchtime routine: Minami would come show her his cute creations, and insist on feeding her a bit. The problem? She was starting to feel he was feeding her more than himself. Which, well, that was also kind of her fault for accepting the offer so much.
He just... he always looked so happy when she did, like it got him to calm down a bit. Something in her heart fluttered every time she saw that smile.
Am I...? Do I... really?
Okay, so now she had two problems to figure out. She'd had both romantic and sexual encounters here and there, but none of them felt right, whether with women or with men. She understood now that was because they - and she herself - were expecting her to be something she wasn't, making her uncomfortable enough to break things off.
But now, now she was aware, and she had people who saw her in the way that felt right. The whole world wouldn't know it, not like this, but the people most important to her? They did.
Minami... He didn't expect her to be something else. He looked up to her regardless, and for as loud and obnoxious as he could be, he really did seem calmer with her. Show her a part of him that she didn't know he had. Majima could be a little bit the same way, though she'd grown very used to him by now, having worked with him for so long. Still, she didn't feel this way about him...
What was it about Minami? What was she feeling for him? Why now?
She took a deep breath, and called her mother.
"Hello?"
"Hi mom..." she tried to smile, "Um, are you busy?"
"Not terribly! What's on your mind?"
"It's... a girl problem."
"Oh, Hiroko..." she sighed, "I'm listening, darling."
"How do you know... if you're falling in love with someone?"
"Hmm..."
"I mean... I've tried things over the years, but it's never felt right because neither of us... knew. S-so now that people do, now that I do, I..."
Her mother chuckled, "If you're questioning it... don't you think that's a sign? That what you're feeling is love."
"That... makes sense. And I hate that it does."
She laughed at this. "Love's unpredictable, isn't it? Tell me why you're thinking about it."
Nishida sighed, "Well, one of my coworkers... Ever since he found out, he's been trying really hard for me. He's... had some missteps, but I can believe him when he says he doesn't mean to hurt me. He's just always been kind of loud and awkward with people, since the day he turned up. Except, well, lately he seems to kind of calm down around me. And then... then I get to see him smile. Real smiles."
"And how do you feel when he smiles?"
"It's..." she chuckled, "It's wonderful. I feel... like it's right for him to smile like that. And I want to see more of it."
"Oh, dear..." her mother smiled, "It's looking dire for you, my love."
"Mom!" Nishida shouted, making her laugh.
"Come on, tell me more about this charmer!"
And so she did, after a bit of protest. She talked about how much he respected her - her position and strength, yes, but also... her, the real her - and how quickly, how happily he adapted. How it seemed to have brought them closer, like he'd been afraid to get too close because of her position... And her honesty made him realise that maybe she saw him as something of a friend. That he could get closer, try to help her, and it wouldn't be too forward of him. But could he really be scared...? She had a hard time believing that.
Her mother chipped in with little bits of advice here and there, including on the newfound lunch situation.
"If I had to guess, he's feeling something for you as well."
She thought about that for hours after their call was over. What if he did? Did he realise it? Or did he think it was entirely... normal? Surely not - she'd never seen him do this for anyone else. It was always with her, only with her. It had to be, or she might get a little...
A little what?
Nishida felt nervous as the two sat for lunch today. She was still thinking of the conversation she'd had with her mother, what Minami's feelings might be. If she was jumping the gun in assuming this was love, despite everything seeming to point to yes. How it had sprung up on her so quickly... like her heart had waited all this time to be able to fall in love, and now that it could, it was falling hard.
They chatted and laughed, Nishida accepting the first bite she was offered. And the second. And the third.
She stared down at her own bento, fidgeting nervously with her chopsticks.
"Somethin' wrong, Aneki?"
"H-huh? Oh... It's just, um..." she sighed. "You keep feeding me... A-and it's nice, don't get me wrong. But..."
Now or never, huh? She carefully picked up a small slice of potato tempura from her own bento, offering it to Minami.
"You're not eating enough yourself anymore, are you...? And I... I shouldn't let that happen."
"Haw?" Minami spluttered, clearly caught off guard, "N-naw, ya ain't gotta... do that fer me. I... I uh."
"It's not a suggestion, Minami-san, it's an order," she said firmly, "Eat."
"Pshhh... f-fine, of course, Aneki."
She swore she could feel the heat coming off his face as he delicately took the tempura into his mouth.
Oh... he looked blissful. He sighed and hummed, and she guessed if they weren't out in the open like this, he might be a little... louder yet. The thought of that flustered her.
"Fuck that's g-- mmpf?!" He was interrupted by her hurriedly shoving another piece in his mouth, and laughing about it.
"I'm telling you. From now on every bite I take from you, you take one from me."
He nodded, those same noises spilling out, and she smiled at him.
He looked away all of a sudden, visibly flustered. "Yer cruel to me, Aneki."
"Yeah? How so?" she chuckled.
"...Never mind..." he mumbled, "Just gimme more."
Things felt tense between them since then, and Nishida couldn't help but wonder why. Maybe her mother was right about him having feelings too, and he felt like she'd... broken some kind of rule that he kept locked up in his head, thought was common sense. Toed the line, pissed him off.
(No, if he was angry, she'd know about it. Everyone would.)
But maybe she was wrong... maybe. As hard as it felt to believe, as much as she didn't want to... maybe his patience with her had worn thin, for some reason.
In any case, today was a pretty bad day to be thinking about all of that. The team at Majima Construction had been invited to a formal, definitely not at least somewhat Tojo-affiliated event that they couldn't miss out on, to Majima's dismay. They were "laying low", after all, about as low as Majima could lay. Turned out to be only just enough, but the change of pace working construction was nice in Nishida's eyes. She still handled a lot of the paperwork, though.
Having excused herself for a breather in a room off to the side, Nishida was gazing out the window. It was a pretty long breather, really. She didn't know if she could go back out there...
The door opened, and she turned to look.
"Oh... Minami-san," she smiled sadly, "How are you?"
He groaned, flopping down on the sofa.
"Dogshit."
She nodded, "Yeah. Me too."
"Feel so fuckin' stuffy."
"Yeah..."
There was an awkward silence between them.
"How do ya..." Minami started, only to shake his head, "Naw, I- I shouldn't ask."
"Huh?"
He clutched and pinched nervously at the sleeves of his suit. "Aneki, how do ya fuckin' deal with... I'unno, bein' forced into shit ya don't want? Clothes I mean."
She sighed, "I'm in here to figure that out, myself. I don't... I don't want to be out there either. It's never felt right, but before... I tolerated it. I didn't know there was anything else. Now, though..."
Minami groaned, though more at the situation as a whole, rather than at her.
"Thanks anyway..."
"I... um, Minami-san?"
"What?"
"For what it's worth, I..." she felt her throat dry up, yet she couldn't stop herself from talking. "I think you're handsome... with or without the suit. And it's... it's not forever. You can be regular Minami-san again... as soon as we're done here."
Did she say that at the end a little bitterly? Maybe. Not that she meant to, but...
"...Don't... don't say that shit..." he muttered, clutching tighter.
"Huh...?"
"That... that handsome shit. That ain't-- that's fer boyfriends 'n girlfriends. 'N we ain't."
"Minami-san..."
"S-see? Ya see what I mean?"
...She was a fucking fool. This was eating at him all the same.
"I--"
"Fuck, wh-what have I been thinkin'? Yer my Aneki anyway, I can't... we... Ya don't even..." He was sniffling, trying to hold back. "There ain't no chance in hell, I ain't been thinkin', I just... I just like seein' ya happy 'n shit..."
"Minami..."
"Thought... soon as I saw ya, thought ya were gorgeous..."
"W-wait..."
"B-but I couldn't do shit, 'til ya... 'til ya told me, too fuckin' scared..."
"You... you were scared?"
"Lookit me! Ya think I ever had friends? Ya think anyone ever... wanted me 'round? I just... just been wantin' to see ya happy... Make ya happy. But ya... ya started--" he hiccuped, trying not to get too loud for fear of anyone outside overhearing, "Makin' me feel that way... 'N I... f-fuck, Aneki. No, no, I shouldn'ta said any'a this, I--"
He stood in a hurry, looking right to the door - discomfort be damned at this point, if it meant he could make a break for it - but Nishida strode over to grab his wrist.
"...I want you."
"N-no..." he shook his head frantically, "Ya can't, that ain't possible--"
She near-effortlessly pulled him into a hug, feeling his posture stiffen like he was afraid she was about to eat him alive. Instead, she buried her face into the crook of his shoulder, sighing happily before pulling back just a bit. This was right.
"I do, it is possible. I need you to trust me on that... Can you?"
He relaxed a little bit, arms wrapping around her, as he sniffled. "...I don't know..."
"Truth be told... I... I've been thinking about you, too..."
"Y'have...?"
"Of course... I've really enjoyed our routine. It makes me happy to see you happy, too... But I didn't want you to half-starve yourself for me. That's why I... started too."
"Smile like a fuckin' angel..."
"Is that why you called me cruel?"
"Tch," he mumbled, "M-maybe. Too beautiful fer yer own good..."
Her face flushed. "You... you don't mean that... do you?"
"Course I do... ya think I'd lie to ya 'bout that...? 'Bout any this?"
"...I guess I'm... not used to this feeling wanted thing either," she let out a sad chuckle.
"Then..."
He swallowed nervously, as if hoping the silence would ask his question for him somehow.
"Then...?"
"D'ya... wanna do this? B-be my... u-uh..." He took a deep breath, yet even then his voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, "My girlfriend...?"
"...I think I'd like that," she whispered back, planting a little peck on his cheek. "Dai-kun."