Chapter Text
He opens the door to his dorm on a Monday night, eyes tired, and hears it close behind him with a thud. There’s a light humming sound that he can’t hear and luggage behind his roommate’s desk chair that he hasn’t seen yet since it’s dark and his eyes are begging for sleep.
Ryan walks over to his closet and throws on a pair of sweatpants. He glances up at his bed to find his hoodie and nearly jumps at the sight.
It’s Marissa, asleep. Her hair is lighter and her skin is tanner, evidence of her year away. He murmurs a curse and takes a small step toward the bed, briefly wondering if this is real. There are at least a dozen more freckles peppering her nose than he remembers. Then again, he hasn’t been this close to her in months.
It’s fight or flight, whether to wake her up, and he decides on gently touching her side to see if she wakes. It’s been a year and they’ve exchanged emails and phone calls, but nothing compares to seeing her in person. Choppy webcam footage does her no justice.
She mumbles something and her eyelids flutter, and the way she slowly wakes up and adjusts her eyes to the dark of his dorm room, lit by moonlight, makes him smile.
“Hey,” she says low, a finger rubbing sleep from her eyes.
He smiles. “Hi.”
They spend a few seconds in silence, taking each other in, before Ryan clears his throat. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were going to Newport for the wedding.”
She gives him a tiny smirk as he climbs up onto the top bunk next to her. He briefly wonders how she figured out which one is his.
Marissa runs a tired hand through her hair. “I am, but I just had to– had to see you.”
“Oh,” he replies, and God is his heart beating quickly. “I bet your mom’ll be pleased.”
She chuckles and they’re facing each other cross legged on his bed. She licks her lips, and he’s hyper aware of every move she makes. It’s been too long since they’ve been this close. He thinks they should rectify that.
“It was actually mom that suggested I come here first.”
Ryan looks at her in disbelief.
“Yeah. I don’t know, we’re closer now that I’ve been away. And, well–”
“Hmm?”
“Everything feels different now. Doesn’t it?”
He nods, and can’t stop staring at her deep blue eyes and the way she’s sleepily holding herself. The word adorable comes to mind, but it’s deeper than that. It’s comfortability and a shared sweetness. It reminds him of years past. She’s still Marissa. The time and distance have done nothing to abate the way he’s drawn to her.
Ryan knows it’s his chance, so he leans in to kiss her and smiles against her lips when she meets him in the middle. It’s familiar and she tastes like springtime and peppermint, her mouth opening for his. Marissa runs a hand over his chest and he moves a hand under her jaw to keep them steady.
She pulls away first, and the first thing he sees on her face is her shining eyes and her pink lips that are just waiting to be touched again. But then he sees her eyes fall slightly and she pulls her legs to her chest, clearing her throat. The last thing he wants is space between them.
“Ryan, I just– there’s so much history here.”
“Right,” he says blankly.
Marissa looks up at him, and he notes the melancholy set on her face. “Does a year change much?”
The bluntness keeps him silent. He mulls it over and realizes that she expects an answer. I don’t know wouldn’t amount to anything.
She pulls his hand into her lap, fingers curling around his own, her head down and eyes fluttered closed. It looks like she’s trying to make a decision.
God, he’s missed her.
“I should go,” she mutters, and this spurs him into action.
“No.”
Marissa sighs. “I should. I shouldn’t’ve come here anyway. I can get a red eye to Newport. We can deal with all this back home.”
She moves to get off the bed but he holds her in place, soft and gentle.
“No,” he repeats softly. Their hands touch again, and her warm skin and doe eyes are trying to steal his focus. “Drive back with me. My last exam is Wednesday and then I’m driving home.”
Her lips curl, and he gives her the crooked smile he knows she loves. He lays his free hand on her thigh.
“That’s a long drive,” she says.
Ryan shrugs. He’s only done it once before. “It is. But it’s not too bad.”
“You’re sure?” she asks after a moment of uncertainty. Their skin is still touching and all he can think is how much he wants to be with her in all the ways he’s missed in the last year. Year plus if he stops and thinks about it.
Ryan nods. “Driving alone sucks anyway.”
“Ah, so really I’d be doing you a favor.”
“Exactly.”
She gives him a knowing smile, and leans back on his bed. Moving over, Ryan is beside her quickly, their sides touching, fast enough that it reminds her of senior year, of nights spent over in the poolhouse when sharing a bed was as normal as breathing.
Marissa’s almost asleep, their sides pressed together, when he asks, “How’d you get in here anyway?”
She smiles in amusement. “Your roommate let me in, he said something about studying.”
“Eric always studies at his girlfriend’s dorm because she’s an RA and has a single,” he says, using air quotes. She understands what he means and gives him an amused grin.
“And he expects a bunch of random girls in here when he’s gone?” Marissa chides, elbowing him in the ribs.
He lets out a laugh. “No, he, uh, he knows about you. What you look like.”
She turns on her side and smiles softly. “Yeah?”
His eyes don’t meet hers, but his cheeks flush. “Yeah. We got some Coors from his brother one night, he’s a senior, and got to know each other a bit. Talking about people. Home.”
Marissa puts a hand on his side. “I like that.”
He turns toward her, eyes darting to her soft lips and the sleepy grin she’s sporting. She moves over so that her cheek lies on his shoulder, and his arm goes around her like it’s habit.
In the morning, he thinks she’s gone.
It’s gutting. In the brief time that he thinks it, he likens her to a puff of smoke that evaporates right in front of him. It’s early and he’s overthinking it.
But then the door opens, and he smells coffee and the faint scent of Chanel she’s been sporting since she was 15.
“Morning sleepyhead,” Marissa greets with a toothy grin. He looks at his alarm clock and it’s barely seven. After he gives her a look, she concedes, “Jet lag.”
Ryan takes in the sight. She’s wearing his clothes, his favorite hoodie and his boxers. “Nice digs.”
She smiles, leaning on her luggage. “All my stuff is in here so you’re gonna have to let me go on this one.”
He nods. She hands him a cup of coffee, and he chuckles at the small box of cereal she’s paired with it.
“So you have a final today?” she asks, adding packets of sugar to her coffee from the desk beside his bunk.
Ryan nods through his mouth full of cheerios. “Statistics.”
Her nose scrunches and she frowns. “Sounds dreadful.”
It feels faintly domestic before Eric comes inside to pick up some books and change his clothes. Marissa asks Eric about his major, his girlfriend, where he’s from. Ryan can already tell that his roommate is charmed by her. She’s always had an uncanny ability to strike up a conversation with anyone about anything and find something in it to care about.
“You going to school someday?” Eric asks her, and Marissa folds her legs in her lap on the desk chair.
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly, aware of Ryan’s eyes on her.
“That’s cool,” Eric says, zipping up his backpack.
The conversation fizzles until Eric leaves, the door shutting behind him with a thud.
“You’re not going to school?” Ryan asks before taking a gulp of coffee.
She shrugs. “I said I don’t know.”
“But–”
“Ryan,” she checks the time on her phone. “You have to go to your test, right?”
His eyes narrow for a second before he concedes.