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Bad Kaeloo effortlessly carried the last box to the table, setting it down on the ground before transforming back into Kaeloo.
"Thanks for helping me with my garage sale, Kaeloo!" Violasse smiled.
"No problem, Violasse! It's my duty as the guardian to help everyone in Smileyland," Kaeloo said, unpacking the box to take out the items.
"What are you going to do with the money?"
"I'm going to create a travel fund! I was talking to Ardoise -"
"Who's Ardoise?" Kaeloo interrupted.
"That's me!" said a high-pitched voice from behind Kaeloo. Kaeloo jumped about a foot in the air and turned around to see Stumpy standing there with a small squirrel wearing a white onesie and a magenta visor.
"Hi! I'm Ardoise!" said the girl.
"What an… interesting name!" Kaeloo smiled, her eye twitching just a little. "Are you one of Stumpy's sisters?"
"Mhm! I told Violasse to start a travel fund since she said she wanted to go on vacation to a different country someday," Ardoise explained. She grabbed a tennis racket from the table.
"How much do you want for this, Violasse?"
"That'll be two coins!"
Ardoise pulled out two coins from her little red wallet and handed them to her sister.
"Hey, didn'tcha already have a tennis racket?" Stumpy asked, scratching his head.
"Yes, but I think it's important to support the people in your family when they need it. Aren't you going to buy anything from Violasse?" Ardoise asked. Violasse stared at Stumpy with large, expectant puppy dog eyes.
"Ahhhh… I'd love to, but I can't! I'm tryin' to save up money so I can buy a gift for Ursula!" Stumpy explained. "And I'm totally broke!"
"I'll lend you the money for the gift, big brother!" said Ardoise, helpful and practical as ever.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stumpy is old enough to try making his own money," Kaeloo said. "Why don't you try selling your comic books, Stumpy?" Kaeloo asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Sell my comic books?!" Stumpy asked in disbelief.
"They are worth a lot of money," Ardoise said, pulling up her phone to show Stumpy the current value of a collector's edition Mr. Coolskin comic book. Stumpy's jaw dropped. "This is why I keep telling you to sell them and give the money to Mom. Do you have any idea how many weeks' worth of groceries we could buy with this? Or maybe we could hire a plumber to fix that leaky tap in the bathroom and save money on our water bill!"
"It'll hurt to sell my comic books… but Ursula deserves this," Stumpy said, having made up his mind.
"Good luck, big brother!" Ardoise said. "Do either of you need my help?"
"Nah, I can take care of things, sis!" Stumpy answered confidently.
"What about you, Violasse? Are you sure you won't need help fighting your bad luck?"
"I'll be fine!"
"Knock on wood!" said Kaeloo. Violasse knocked her fist against the table. The table collapsed, and everyone present sweatdropped.
"... Don't worry about it! We'll handle things," Kaeloo forced a smile.
Oh well. Ardoise shrugged and walked away. Maybe she should check on her stock portfolio. She pulled her laptop out of hammerspace and started to walk around looking for a place to sit.
Quack-Quack showed up at Stumpy's table and picked up a book, leafing through it out of curiosity.
"Look, pal! The story is crazy!" Stumpy said, grabbing Quack-Quack's eyes. "You're gonna love it. Wait, look! Look!" Stumpy grabbed the book from Quack-Quack and began to flip through it himself.
"Quack?" Quack-Quack asked, as Stumpy rambled on about the book. Quack-Quack realized that he probably wouldn't get a sale out of this and walked away, which Stumpy failed to notice since he was now too engrossed in the book.
----
Ardoise came across a cozy-looking red couch where an orange cat was sitting, reading a newspaper that hid his face from view.
"Excuse me, sir, may I sit next to you?" she asked.
"Sure, why not?" he replied, not bothering to look at her.
Ardoise opened her laptop. The blank screen reflected both her own face and the face of the boy next to her, and she nearly dropped the laptop in shock.
"Wait a minute, you're Mr. Cat! The owner of McDaube, Quack-Quack Underpants, and the Chagerfeld advertising agency!"
"Ah, so you've heard of me!" Mr. Cat grinned, folding up his newspaper.
"Yes! My name is Ardoise, and I've even invested money into some of your businesses!" she smiled proudly, showing him on her laptop.
"Say, you sure do seem to know a lot about finances, kid," he remarked curiously. "Can I take a look at your portfolio?" he asked.
"Sure, here you go!" she handed him her laptop. He nodded as he scrolled through the page, impressed.
Before the conversation could continue, the sound of screams echoed throughout Smileyland.
"Violasse! Quick! Grab the fire extinguisher!" sounded Kaeloo's voice in the distance.
"Well, I'd better go see what's going on with my siblings," Ardoise said, shutting her laptop and getting off the couch. Mr. Cat turned back to his newspaper, making a mental note to keep an eye on Ardoise.
----
"You can't put a price on this wonder, Mr. Noob-Head! Such a dynamic panel layout… such piercin' dialogue… we're talkin' about art! We're talkin' about imagination!" Stumpy screamed, grabbing a sheep by his head and shaking him. Ardoise arrived at the table and watched in dismay as her brother scared off his customers.
"I'll never be able to buy Ursula a gift…" Stumpy said sadly.
This was her chance.
"Umm, say, big brother… want me to play market vendors with you?"
----
"How much for this doll?" asked a little sheep girl at Violasse's table.
"5 Euros!" Violasse responded.
The little girl handed Violasse a 5 euro note and skipped away with the doll. Kaeloo high-fived Violasse, but the joy was short-lived as a bolt of lightning randomly struck the note and burned it to a crisp.
"Wow, Stumpy wasn't kidding about your luck!" Kaeloo remarked.
----
Ardoise triumphantly handed Stumpy the money she'd received from selling his comic books.
"Wow, no wonder you always help Mama with her accountin'! You're really good at handlin' money!" Stumpy said.
Ardoise ignored the pang in her heart caused by her older sibling, who had lived with her for her entire life, not knowing such basic information about her.
"Thanks, big brother! Ursula can have a great gift now."
"Totally! Or… we could sell more, ya know? Ursula can have an even bigger gift!"
"Okay… if you want, big brother."
Ardoise got out a labeling gun and got around to making an inventory of all the other items that Stumpy currently possessed.
----
A kid on a skateboard rolled in and took a look at a pair of old skates that Violasse had on her table.
"Hey, my little cousin wanted a pair of skates just like this for her birthday! How much?"
"That'll be one coin!"
The boy reached into his pocket and pulled out a coin, handing it to Violasse. Just as Violasse was about to take it, the boy accidentally dropped the coin and it rolled into a nearby sewer grate.
"Aww man, that was my last one. Sorry little dude!" the boy skated away.
"Since when does Smileyland even have sewer grates?" Kaeloo asked incredulously.
"The universe hates me," Violasse mumbled sadly, hugging her Quack-Quack balloon.
A third sheep approached Violasse's table and picked up a mug.
"How much does this cost?"
He was interrupted by yet another sheep.
"Hey, Antoine, you're not going to buy that lame old plain mug, are you? There's a cooler garage sale over there where they have mugs with the Mr. Coolskin logo!"
"Whoa, Jean-Luc, are you serious?"
Antoine put down the mug and he and Jean-Luc ran off to Stumpy's garage sale.
"Come back!" Kaeloo begged, but the two ignored her.
"It looks like big brother's having a better time than I am," Violasse remarked.
"Why don't we go investigate?" Kaeloo asked.
"Okay!"
Kaeloo and Violasse headed over to Stumpy's garage sale.
----
As Kaeloo and Violasse entered the general vicinity of Stumpy's sale, they saw Antoine and Jean-Luc from earlier, carrying a trash can and a toilet seat with the Mr. Coolskin logo printed on them.
"Am I seeing things?" Kaeloo wondered to herself. Upon approaching Stumpy's table - no, Stumpy's stage - she gasped at the sight of Stumpy selling all sorts of random objects with the Mr. Coolskin logo on them. Or rather, Ardoise selling all sorts of random objects with the Mr. Coolskin logo on them while Stumpy stood by idly, watching as his profits increased.
"Stumpy! You can't just sell random things like that!" Kaeloo scolded. Stumpy ignored her.
"I'm gonna get ya a whole box o' gifts tonight, Ursula!"
"You're setting a very bad example for your little sister!"
Stumpy laughed dismissively.
"Come on, Violasse, let's go," Kaeloo said, grabbing Violasse by the hand. The two of them reached their table and stopped in shock when they realized that the table and its surroundings were completely bare except for a note reading "Don't leave your stuff lying around unattended, suckers!"
----
Mr. Cat put his newspaper away with a contented sigh. Maybe he would watch some TV now.
"Don't worry, Violasse, I filed a report with the police about the theft," came Kaeloo's voice from behind him.
"Oh, hey Froggy!" Mr. Cat greeted Kaeloo. He glanced over at Violasse, who still looked incredibly downcast.
"What's with the kid?"
"I was having a garage sale when someone stole all my stuff," Violasse complained.
"Don't worry Violasse, a little TV will relax you! Why don't we watch My Small Horsey together?" Kaeloo asked.
"Buzz off, I want to watch the TV," Mr. Cat said sharply. Kaeloo transformed and Mr. Cat wordlessly handed the remote to Violasse, patting her on the head with a nervous grin.
As Violasse switched on the TV, the show was suddenly interrupted by a commercial.
"Why does this happen every time I turn the TV on?" sighed the little squirrel.
"Wait a minute, is that Stumpy?" Kaeloo asked.
"Place an order on the internet, and your Mr. Coolskin products are guaranteed to be delivered in just two minutes, anywhere in Smileyland! I'm goin' now, I've got deliveries to make. We don't stop!" came Stumpy's voice from the TV. Behind the sofa, Stumpy and Ardoise were driving around on scooters with dumpsters attached to them.
"Say, Violasse, your sister is really good at playing market vendors!" Kaeloo remarked.
"Yeah, the kid seems pretty good at handling money…" Mr. Cat noted.
"Ardoise has always been really good at that kind of thing," Violasse explained. "Isn't it cool? Look, she's even able to sell trash!"
Kaeloo's jaw dropped as she realized that Ardoise was indeed selling trash.
"Ugh! They're going to damage Smileyland's environment if we let them keep up with this!" Kaeloo said.
As if to prove her right, Stumpy and Ardoise knocked over several trees and built a skyscraper where the trees used to be.
"I'm going to go have a talk with Stumpy," Kaeloo said firmly, getting up from the couch. Violasse got up and followed her. Mr. Cat watched curiously as they left, and once they were far enough, the sneaky cat started to tail them from a distance.
----
Inside the warehouse, Stumpy checked off his inventory.
"I'll get you a whole shop full of gifts, Ursula!" he declared. Ardoise walked by, holding a clipboard of her own.
"Oh, Ardoise! Do ya have more ideas to sell more stuff? More? Even more?!"
"I don't know, Stumpy. Playing market vendors like this isn't fun at all."
"Playing? This isn't a game anymore, sis! We're listed on the stock market! This isn't just for fun! Ursula… I will offer you the world!"
Ardoise walked away sadly, adjusting her visor. As she walked out into the hallway, she bumped into Violasse.
"Ow!" she said, rubbing her head.
"Sorry, Ardoise!" Violasse apologized.
"What happened to you?" Kaeloo inquired.
"Stumpy doesn't want to play market vendors with me anymore," Ardoise said sadly.
"Aww," Kaeloo said, her eyes full of sympathy. "Come on. Come with me," she said, leading Ardoise back inside with a hand on her shoulder and holding Violasse's hand with her other hand.
----
Stumpy sat at his giant computer, pushing buttons to make more sales, when the door to his office was violently pushed open by Bad Kaeloo, who de-transformed into Kaeloo.
"Stumpy, that's enough! Yes, you're earning a lot of money, but you're polluting the landscape, and you don't want to play with your little sister anymore! That's not nice!"
"You don't understand anythin'! All of this -" he paused, looking at Violasse.
"Hey, what happened to ya?" he asked, mild concern in his voice.
"Someone stole all the stuff at my garage sale when I wasn't looking," Violasse explained tearfully.
Stumpy and Ardoise stared in a mixture of rage and horror.
"How dare they?" Stumpy asked.
"Don't worry about it, Violasse," Ardoise said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder. "I'm sure Stumpy will share some of his money with you."
"Really?" Violasse asked.
"Hey, no! This is my money!" Stumpy said indignantly.
"Stumpy, stop being selfish!" Kaeloo chided him.
"Whaddya mean selfish? I sold my stuff for this!" he reminded her.
"Well, you - wait, no, actually, he's right…" Kaeloo acknowledged.
"Come on, Stumpy!" Ardoise said. "We're a family! We all do things to help each other out! I didn't ask you for any money for my services today!"
"Well, that's because you're the one who offered to help me!" Stumpy protested. But Ardoise was too deep into her tirade to care anymore.
"I always help Mama without her asking because I care about her! I try to help us earn some extra money every month so we can make ends meet! I help everyone in this family with their problems without asking anyone else for anything in return, and you ," she said, glaring at Stumpy, "don't know the first thing about me! Is it really that much to ask that everyone else in this family starts contributing too?!"
Everyone stared blankly at her, not knowing what to say.
"I… didn't know ya felt that way, sis," Stumpy said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
"Me neither," said Violasse.
"Ardoise…" Kaeloo began gently. "You know that there's a difference between helping other people and putting yourself down for their sake, right?"
"Huh?" Ardoise blinked, lowering her visor a little to look at Kaeloo.
"I mean… you're a kid!" Stumpy pointed out. "It's not your job to take care o' the rest of us!"
"But-"
"Listen," Stumpy said, getting down on one knee to meet her at eye level. "I know I haven't been the best brother to ya today. And for that… I really am sorry for the way I treated ya today. I think it's great that ya wanna help our family, and that ya care so much about us all. But… ya shouldn't have to make so many sacrifices for our sakes. Ya deserve to be happy too."
Just then, Stumpy's phone rang.
"Lemme just pick this up. Hello?"
"Stumpy?"
"Ursula?"
"Stumpy, where are you? Did you forget about our date? I'm waiting for you!"
"I know, but… I sold everythin' I love to buy ya billions of gifts! I'm gonna give ya the universe, my love!"
"But… I just want you to be with me! You're my favorite gift!"
"Just me? Well - I didn't think… but if I'm what makes you happy… see ya in a bit." Stumpy hung up the phone.
"She doesn't want the gifts! She just wants to spend time with me!" he cheered.
"Ardoise… can ya play market vendors for me, one more time?"
"Huh?" everyone else asked in unison.
"I'd like you to buy back all my Mr. Coolskin stuff. Ya know, before I lose my mind."
Ardoise clicked a few buttons on her laptop and everything was back.
"Here's your change," she said, handing Stumpy a coin.
"I think ya really deserve this coin," he said, passing it back to her. "Thanks, sis. Maybe the three of us can go out and get some ice cream together later! My treat!" he winked. "I'm coming, Ursula!" he screamed as he ran to the location of his date.
"Wait a minute, Stumpy doesn't have any money left to buy you ice cream," Kaeloo pointed out flatly.
"It's the thought that counts," Violasse shrugged.
"This coin here is worth more than all the others," Ardoise smiled to herself, clutching the coin to her chest.
"Why don't we all go play a fun game together?" Kaeloo suggested. "I just ordered a new tea party set that arrived in the mail today!"
"Sounds like fun!" Violasse said, and Ardoise nodded her head along.
"I'm just going to use the bathroom real quick," Ardoise said. "I'll catch up with you two in a few minutes. Ardoise headed out the door in the opposite direction from Kaeloo and Violasse and nearly bumped into someone as she rounded the corner.
"Oh, excuse me - wait, Mr. Cat? What are you doing here?"
Mr. Cat smiled down at her, leaning against the wall and holding a soda can.
"I couldn't help but overhear that little conversation you all had in there," he said. "How would you feel about getting a job that actually pays you for what you do?" he asked in a honeyed voice.
"That depends… what kind of job is it?" Ardoise asked.
"McDaube needs a new chief financial officer."
"McDaube?!" Ardoise asked, stars in her eyes (though you couldn't tell because of the visor. "Does that mean I get to eat there for free?"
"Well, I can see about getting you an employee discount," he said. "If you come with me, I'll show you the papers you need to sign and we can get you all set up! Fortunately, since we're in Smileyland, I don't need a signature from your mom or your dad for this," he remarked.
"I don't have a dad," Ardoise said somberly. "He and Mama divorced a while ago and none of us have seen him since."
"Oh…" Mr. Cat said awkwardly, with the belated realization that he of all people should have known not to make assumptions about people's families. Then it hit him.
"Wait, divorced? Your brother told me your parents never got married!" Mr. Cat said, taking another sip of his soda.
"Yeah, but they were considered to be in a common law marriage! They were together for over seven years," Ardoise explained.
Mr. Cat froze. He pulled out a photo album from behind his back; it was a nice little scrapbook that he'd put together himself, as a way of preserving important memories. He flipped back to the very first page, depicting a photo of him and Kaeloo the first time they'd met; the picture had been taken by Kaeloo, and Mr. Cat hadn't been too enthusiastic about it. Normally Mr. Cat would have smiled at the photo of him and Kaeloo as little kids, and Kaeloo's adorable gap-toothed smile, but he was more concerned about something else: the date. Sure enough, it was 6 years and 11 months ago.
"Oh no," he thought to himself, recalling every instance where people had assumed that he and Kaeloo were a couple. With all the money that Kaeloo had made from her new box office hit "Quackzilla vs. Super K", and the money that he'd made from McDaube, they'd be pushed into a higher tax bracket and have to pay more taxes. He had to do something about it.
"Um, is everything okay?" Ardoise asked him, only to be promptly ignored as Mr. Cat pulled out his phone, speed-walking towards the apartment that he shared with Kaeloo and Quack-Quack.
----
"The police said they've narrowed it down to a few suspects! We'll get your things back soon," Kaeloo said.
"I hope so," said Violasse, taking another sip of imaginary tea. "I wonder where Ardoise is?"
Kaeloo's phone rang.
"Oh, it's Mr. Cat!" Kaeloo smiled, her eyes wide and happy. "Hello, Mr. Cat!"
"Froggy, I need you to get home, ASAP. This is a matter of utmost importance," Mr. Cat said
"Is everything okay?" Kaeloo asked, but the line went dead.
"Come with me, Violasse! This might be an emergency!"
----
Kaeloo burst in through the door of the apartment, Violasse floating in behind her with her balloon.
"Mr. Cat, what's wrong?! I…" Kaeloo trailed off, seeing the current state of the apartment. All of her personal belongings were packed into suitcases and cardboard boxes. The furniture was strewn everywhere, and the sofa was flipped over. A couple of lightbulbs were broken too. Quack-Quack was sitting there eating yogurt as if nothing had happened.
"Mr. Cat, please wait! This is completely unnecessary!" Ardoise cried.
"Ardoise? What are you doing here? We were looking everywhere for you!" said Kaeloo.
"Ah, Froggy, there you are!" Mr. Cat grinned, hauling out another cardboard box containing Kaeloo's sports equipment.
"Mr. Cat, what are you doing?" Kaeloo asked nervously.
"Froggy, it's been almost seven years since we moved in together. If this goes on any longer, we'll be considered to have a common law marriage."
"Wait, what do you mean we -" Kaeloo attempted to ask, but Mr. Cat ignored her.
"However, you and I would both benefit from filing our taxes separately," he declared solemnly.
"That's not how -" Ardoise said, but Mr. Cat continued his speech.
"Therefore, the only thing we can do now is pretend to have a huge, messy breakup."
"What?! This is ridiculous! Nobody thinks we're a couple anyway!" Kaeloo protested, pulling up her phone. She looked up the show's name on social media.
A fanfic website user named JustaJattt had posted a fanfiction about her and Mr. Cat.
An Amstramgram account named kool_genericchocolatebar had posted some doodles of her and Mr. Cat acting lovey-dovey.
Several people on Face de Bouc were sharing screenshots from the show of her and Mr. Cat together.
"Well, I'll be!" Kaeloo said.
"Do you want to see my Kaelat fanart too?" asked Violasse, whipping out a sketchbook. "Stumpy got me invested in this ship!"
Mr. Cat pulled up Amstramgram on his phone, set it on a tripod, and started a livestream. Hundreds of viewers joined.
"Start yelling," he whispered to Kaeloo. Then he turned towards the camera.
"Hi, everyone! I have an announcement for you all! Froggy and I are through!"
"Ha! I knew Kaelat was a thing all along!" the little sheep fan cheered from his bedroom as he watched the stream. Then he paused. "OH NO, MY SHIP!"
With a psychotic grin on his face, Mr. Cat grabbed one of the suitcases, whirled it around as if he was a hammer thrower, and threw it clean through the nearest window, breaking the glass.
"My clothes!" Kaeloo screamed, running onto the lawn to retrieve her belongings.
"Why do you care, idiot? It's not like you ever wear them anyway!" Mr. Cat screamed, tossing out a cardboard box full of stuffed toys onto the lawn, which narrowly missed Kaeloo.
"Please, stop it!" Kaeloo begged as a flowerpot was thrown her way.
"Never!" Mr. Cat cackled.
"And we'll split custody of the kid!" Mr. Cat chopped Quack-Quack into pieces with his chainsaw and loaded the pieces into his bazooka to launch them at Kaeloo. Kaeloo screamed as she dodged the flaming projectiles.
"Oh no, Quack-Quack!" Violasse cried.
"Oops…" Ardoise said, rubbing the back of her head.
"MR. CAT!" Kaeloo yelled, transforming and running back into the building.
Violasse grabbed Ardoise and jumped out the back window, the balloon protecting them both from harm. They landed safely on the ground.
"I'm never getting into a relationship," Ardoise declared as sounds of chaos unfolding emanated from the apartment building.
"Oh, hey guys!" Stumpy said, walking into the apartment building, having returned from his date.
"Stumpy! No!" Violasse cried, but it was too late to stop him. A few minutes later, Stumpy walked out of the building, looking worse for the wear.
"Hey, Ardoise? What's a dependent and why does Mr. Cat want me to be one?"