Work Text:
He’d thrown his last pen across the room as a result of several days’ worth of frustration coming to a head. Eddie had spent the last twenty minutes searching for a pen, finally managing to dig one out from down the side of the sofa, not without a few mutterings about the state his sister had left the house in when she came to stay. After mentally preparing to begin what he knew would be a challenging task, he tried to make a start to his scribbling, only to realise the ink had dried up. He chucked it as soon as it became of no use to him, annoyed that turning the house upside down in an attempt to find a pen he could use had in fact been to no avail. He’d been annoyed at menial things lately…or at least he told himself it was his internet playing up or the TV remote needing new batteries; he was happy to be vexed over anything other than the cause of his heightened feeling of irritation. He was yet to genuinely crack a smile or let out a laugh in the two days since term had ended.
There were hundreds of things he could write in a letter to Rachel Mason. He could put pen to paper that evening and still be writing the next morning. It would be one he’d never send, it would be so gushing that even the ever-modest Rachel may have her ego inflated.
He could’ve written about his inability to suppress a grin as her stern demeanour fell away when her lips broke into a smile, the countless times she’d gone above and beyond offering an arm round the shoulder not only to her students but to anybody and everybody around her. There were so many things he could say that he’d be unable to write them down quick enough, his usual clear handwriting becoming barely legible in his attempts to keep up with the stream of thoughts waxing lyrical about the woman. About her selflessness, her strength, her passion. The kindness in her eyes, the warmth her smile radiated, the way her hair fell beautifully into place, over her jawline and down to her shoulders. There’d be mention of the fact all the times she’d ribbed him about being so miserable were rather ironically, often the very thing that brought brightness to his day. But instead the words that proceeded ‘Dear Rachel Mason’ today would be formal, and it felt rather cold given the conversations they’d shared previously, even just in the past week.
Of course she had her flaws. But she’d seen past his negativity and his tendency to lose control of his short temper. They’d both made mistakes and misjudgements, just like anybody he’d ever met. He never thought he’d be leaving Waterloo Road behind, certainly not without Rachel. He didn’t think he’d be able to leave her, yet two nights ago he’d decided it was best to tear himself away from her to avoid the inevitable pain and tension that would come with working together. Eddie rubbed his face with the palm of his hands, almost as if it was an attempt to erase the thoughts in his wandering mind. His hand hovered over the lined paper he’d laid out on the table, determined to make it past ‘Dear Rachel Mason’ sometime soon.