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Blood Gulch Hall Chronicles

Summary:

We all know that the reds and blues really love to stand around and talk. But in a world where they're a bunch of struggling students? Where Project Freelancer is just a research placement for overachieving keeners? Where the Director is just their really shitty dean?

...Well, they'd sit around and text, instead.

Chapter 1: Why Are We Here?

Chapter Text

Private Message: RICHARD Simmons to D Grif 

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:23am

Hey.

 

D Grif- 11:23am

Yeah?

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:23am

You ever wonder why we’re here?

 

D Grif- 11:23am

It’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it? 

 

D Grif- 11:23am

Why ARE we here?

 

D Grif- 11:24am

 I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a god, watching everything, you know, with a plan for us and stuff? 

 

D Grif- 11:24am

I don’t know man, but it keeps me up at night.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:25am

What???

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:25am

I meant why are we HERE, sitting in this lecture hall, twenty minutes after the professor was supposed to arrive?

 

D Grif- 11:25am

Oh.

 

D Grif- 11:25am

Yeah.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:26am 

What was all that stuff about god?

 

D Grif- 11:26am

...nothing.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:26am

You wanna talk about it?

 

D Grif- 11:26am

No.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:26am

You sure?

 

D Grif- 11:26am

Yeah.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:27am

Seriously though, why are we still here? Far as I can tell, the professor’s not going to show up.

 

D Grif- 11:27am

Well, we all paid a fuckton of money for this guy to teach us.

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:27am

Yeah, but you never pay attention in this class anyway, and I’ve already read today’s content in the textbook!

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:27am

Even if he did show up, the lecture would be rushed and terrible, and neither of us would get any use from this class! There’s literally no reason for us to waste our time waiting!

 

D Grif- 11:28am

Good point.

 

D Grif- 11:28am

Want to ditch and go get tacos at the food truck?

 

RICHARD Simmons- 11:28am

Dude. FUCK yes.