Chapter Text
The rain became my witness as tears streamed down my face. The sky became my rock when I was about to break. Silence became my friend as I whispered your name.
Rain hits grass, making the earth damp and cold. The sky was grey, an incoming downpour in it's wake. Brisbane never looked dull. The house never looked empty, but as I stand here, all I can see was memories.
"Why?" My mind screamed, as if he was there, in front of me, looking at me with loving eyes. Eyes that shine more than the stars could offer. He was my sun, my moon and stars. He was my friend. He was everything in my future.
Seven days have passed since the letter. Mom tried to help. Dad tried to help. Bingo tried to help. Someone! Tried to help. I did not accept. Seven days of torture, seven days of silence. Living, my body was on earth but my mind was with him. Love hurts. Seven days and it still ached. Saturdays were supposed to be fun, but I guessed wrong.
I was ready to end it all, my blue fur soaked as the sudden gust of wind blew. Others may feel cold but I was numb. Numb from the pain he brought. The pain he left, the pain he caused. The pain only he can uplift. 'Why did he leave?' I questioned. I'm still standing. Looking at the grey sky. Slow drizzle of rain starts crashing down. It hit the roof, the tree, the wooden bench, the veranda... It hit me.
It was the end, we finished the line. I thought we will be together, but I thought wrong. I made him promise. I made him swear. I fought him to make my point. My hand stings from the slap, my eyes hurt, my throat sore from trying to stop him.
But, He won. He left me, alone, scared and only a piece of paper to note he was gone. A paper where his voice resides in ink. A letter where his love felt cold. A letter of him leaving. My efforts wasted, he still left. Ink on paper is useless. I wanted to rip it, I wanted to burn it, I want nothing to do with it. But I can't, it's my last memory of him. It was my last memory, my last substitute to feel him. His mind, written on paper.
"Bluey?... Please... Come inside" A voice said. It was warm, it felt like the sun. I wanted to come, I wanted to get near, but I can't.
It hurts.
My fur became heavier as it gets wet. The rain was not stopping. My tears won't stop flowing.
'What did I do wrong?'
My body is shaking, my mind is blank. I don't know what to do. That dog left me. That mutt who I considered my future left me.
'Why? Why? Why? Am I not enough?' Gripping my ears, I curled, knees to the ground. My once blue fur turned brown. The rain is getting stronger, and so are my emotion.
'Why Mackenzie? Why? Why!'
"WHY!!!!!"
"I LOVED YOU AND YOU LEFT"
"YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL!!!"
"PLEASE COME BACK!!!"
Like a boiling pot, I burst opened. I let him show my pain, my sadness, my weakness, my memories. He kneeled silently beside me, caressing my back. Letting me spill my sadness to the earth.
The rain poured harder, I am wet, I am cold, I am weak. With my final shout I looked at him. Eyes once filled with child-like happiness are now filled with sadness and emptiness.
"Jéan?" I uttered softly.
"Yes, Bluey?" He said, still holding unto me, holding me as if he were to let go, I'll break. Break to million pieces. Shatter to dust, letting me be carried by the wind.
With all the strength I could muster, I gave him an embrace. An embrace that let me accept his warmth. His radiance. His comfort. His understanding. His everything.
I cried on his shoulder. He was wet. The umbrella once above him was now gone. It was left aside, in favor of holding my weakened state.
"Bluey, I'm sorry, please... Let's come inside" his voice radiated warmth. Warmth I longed for, warmth I needed.
"Jéan... I'm sorry"
I let go. I'm free, I'm ready to accept the sun. My vision became blurry as darkness shrouded my mind, the pitter patter of the rain stoped, I was greeted by silence.