Chapter Text
On the boat ride back to the states Reiben couldn’t help but to think about her. How he had only ever told a few people about her.
- ● ●
On the long walks through the French countryside the soldiers often had little to talk about, so they turned to stories from back home.
“What about you Doc? You got a girl back home?”
“No, the only thing waiting for me is a ticket into med school.”
“Surprised you still want to be a doctor after all the shit you saw on that beach.” Mellish said.
“I like helping people, no matter the circumstance.”
“You’re a good man.”
“What about you then Reiben? I have the feeling you only asked the question because you got a girl back home you’re itching to talk about.”
“You got me. I got this girl back home."
“Bet she’d have to be a real softie to want to wait for you.”
“Naw, she’s tough as nails. First time I saw her she was cussin’ out a guy who grabbed her ass.”
“Sounds like love at first sight.” Miller added.
“Yeah, what sounds better than a girl who can swear in more colors than some of the worst guys in the army?” Wade had only smiled.
- ● ●
Sometimes his mind drifted to men who were dead now. Reiben doesn’t believe in God, but if he was real, then why would he leave him alive? Jackson had a family with four younger sisters. Even God knows they would have needed their older brother back. Wade could have helped so many more people than Reiben ever would. Mellish had a Mom and Dad that would soon be saying the Kaddish over their own son. Caparzo had a niece that would never see him again. And even Horvath who was willing to put a bullet in his head wasn’t coming home to his wife. Miller, who’s wife and students needed him, more than Reiben was needed by anyone. His mother was dead, and his father, a drunken bum who meant nothing to him. Surely his girl Maryanne could have lived without him. She was a cute enough dame to find another guy.
He had to stop, he couldn’t keep on the spiral of what-ifs. He was living proof of reality and he hated it. Instead he thought of Maryanne, how she’d stolen cigarettes and kissed him so hard he was seeing stars for days afterwards. Then there was Upham, who had bothered Reiben at least once every hour.
“What is it now?”
“Just seeing how you’re doing.”
“Well just stop, why don’t you? Don’t you get it? We're not soldiers no more, I never have to see you again!”
“Sorry, just thought you might want some company, you’ve been alone this entire time.”
“Company? I’d want company from anyone but a coward like you! You son of a bitch!” Upham slinked away, leaving Reiben alone again. There were two people he didn’t want to see, and Upham was one of them. He pulled a loose cigarette out of his pocket and lit up thinking again of Maryanne. How they had walked down Flatbush avenue together so long ago. They had passed two twelve year olds who had just managed to light a cigarette. She’d plucked it out of one of their mouths and placed it in her own.
“You’re too young.” She smiled as the boys stared at her in shock. He smiled at the memory as he descended into the boat’s hold. He laid on his cott trying to fall asleep to something other than darkened thoughts of France.
- ● ●
The boat docked off the coast of New York the next day.
“Hey Reiben! Are you ready to be back in the best place in the world, Brooklyn?”
“Hell yeah.” It was Private Jenkins, the only other Brooklyn boy on this boat.
“I know you’re only excited to see your girl.”
“That too.”
“You know, I think you didn’t die on that beach because Maryanne would have gone on a killing spree if you did.” Reiben laughed.
“Jesus Christ, she would have killed the captain and Ryan if she found out.” Reiben then thought of the letter in his pocket. Passed from one dead soldier to the next. How he had taken the letter from Captain Miller. How he was going to finish and send all of them to their grieving families. Caparzo’s father, Jackson’s sisters, Mellish’s parents, and Miller's wife. God knows they needed it. Jenkins and Reiben boarded a trolley together, taking in the sights and sounds of their home. He thought of Maryanne’s apartment where she lived with her mother. Her mother, who was kind and funny, but couldn’t keep Maryanne within arms reach, no matter how hard she tried. They unboarded the trolly about three blocks up from her apartment. Rieben said goodbye to Jenkins and started the trek across the three blocks.
He thought of the night before he’d gone off to the war. They had sat at the park where they’d met, passing a cigarette between them. For one of the first times she talked of how she was scared for him. How he’d promise her he would come home, likely the same promise Jackson made to his sisters. He’d never seen her cry until that night. She never cried when boys called her names or men tried to do nasty things to hurt her, but when Reiben signed up, she shed tears at that park over that cigarette they had shared.
Soon Reiben had climbed all three flights of stairs and found the number 304, the number still crooked from a fight where he kicked the shit out of some guy for following her home. Reiben hesitated to knock, all the what-if’s flooded his mind. So be it, he told himself and knocked. Her mother Helen answered the door, looking as though she was ready to leave for work. She looked up to him and posed a hand to her mouth.
“Maryanne please come here.” She said and stepped out of the way. Maryanne entered the frame. Her blonde hair was pulled back with ribbon and her skin had grown more tan. She had on a blue working dress that suggested she had gotten a job other than walking around town smoking cigarettes and laughing at ugly boys. She let out a string of black and blue curses as she ran up to him, filling perfectly in his arms.
“Richard.” She whispered as he lifted her off the ground and swung her. He set
her down and pulled back, still holding eachothers arms. “It’s been so long since I said that name and had the face to match it.” Richard stared into her face, hardly believing it was her. He noticed a cut on her lip and a bruise at the top of her cheekbone. He raised his hand to caress it.
“If this was that son of a bitch Larry, I swear to God Maryanne-”
“Don’t worry Richard, I’ve taken care of it. He looks twice as bad, all because I hit him down the face with a cracked beer bottle.” Richard laughed, he really laughed for the first time since forever. He pulled her in close.
“I’ve got so much to tell you.”
“I’m sure you do, but me and mom got to head off to work. We’ll be done around five or so, then we can make some dinner.” Maryanne gave Richard a light kiss on the lips and started down the hall. Soon Helen came out of the house and gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I thought I’d let Maryanne get to you first, she’d be mad if I hugged you first. It’s so great to have you back Richard. You can stay in our apartment until we get done with work.” She hugged him again. “She’s really missed you.”
“She should have. I can’t marry a girl that doesn’t miss me.” Helen winked and started down the hall as well. Richard came and shut the door behind him, admiring how the place had changed. The furniture was more plain that it had been the last time he’d been here. The place was clean, which was rare, and plain, which was likely because of the war. Oh god, the war. He couldn't think about it anymore. He looked through the cupboards to find hardly anything. Richard thought about seeing some of his other friends, then he felt the weight of the letter in his pocket and decided against it. He felt as though he should finish it, but he couldn’t find any paper or pencils and was dog tired. Within the minute he fell on the plain couch he was asleep.
- ● ●
“Richard!” Maryanne’s beautiful voice rang through the house. Richard jerked away and calmed his breathing. She sat next t0 him on the couch. “Fell asleep did you? We’re going to make some dinner if you want to come and help.” Richard nodded absently and pulled himself to his feet. He took to chopping some meat while Maryanne and Helen chatted about how life had been at home. It was boring but it was normal, and for once, normal sounded amazing.
“What about you Richard?” Helen asked. “Do you have any stories you’d like to share? What about what happened to you?”
“Maybe some other time, I just got back, and I don’t really feel like talking about it.”
“God, mom didn’t you miss Richard so much?”
“Yes, stop cursing like that.”
“I can’t help it.”
Soon they had finished the soup as a family and Maryanne pulled Richard to the park, armed only with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. They sat on that park bench as the sun started to set. Maryanne lit up and started talking.
“Look I know you got shit to tell me, otherwise you wouldn’t have waved off my mother like that.”
“Also I told you.”
“Yeah, so what was it?”
“While I was there I got sent on a special mission. Eight guys to find this one guy. He was one of four boys and all of the other sons were killed. We were supposed to find this guy because he had a free ticket home. Eight guys to find one guy! What a crock of shit this mission was! I watched every single one of our guys die for this one guy!” Richard went on about how terrible the mission was. Basically everything he had told Horvath before he threatened to put a bullet through his head. Then he explained the letters that had been passed back and forth between their ragged group. Letters that had been held between the fingers of dying men. “I just know I have to finish them and mail them. Their families deserved that much.” Maryanne was kind throughout the stories. Her hand never left his hand. She was kind to the people she loved. She loved so fiercely and so deeply, that’s what made her come off as mean.
“Richard, that sounds like the right thing to do. This private Jackson you speak of, left four little sisters at home. They’re going to need that extra cushion just to know he was thinking about them.”
“Maryanne, do you believe in God? Like cut the bullshit for one second and tell me if you actually believe in some man in the sky who tells us whether we live or die.”
“My mother believes in a God.”
“Cut the shit, I know Helen believes in God, but what do you believe in?”
“I believe there is something up there that controls what happens. I’m sure we’re not just floating around for nothing.”
“Then tell me, why the hell I was chosen to live out of Miller's men. You’ve heard my stories, you know all of them had more to live for, more people that needed them, and they would have done so much better things with their lives. For I all know I’ll end up just like my old man drunk in a gutter somewhere.”
“Richard, you’re not going to end up dead in a gutter. God, I wish you had asked my mother this, she’d know exactly what to tell you. I have no idea what to say.” Richard just stared into the darkened sky. The same sky in France too. “Maybe God let you live because of you and me.”
“That’s some real bullshit Maryanne, you think that me getting back to you is gonna help more people than Wade becoming a doctor? I don’t think so.” He said it softly.
“I don’t know the answer then Richard, I’ll have to ask my mother. All I can say is that I’m glad you’re home.” They sat in silence for a little while longer as the sky grew darker. Stars rarely made an appearance in the Brooklyn sky, but Richard could pick out at least three. Soon Maryanne was starting to fall asleep and Richard figured they should head home. He woke her and they started to walk back to the apartment, arms around each other. “You know what Richard?”
“Hmm?” Richard hummed in response.
“I think that finishing those letters to all of the soldiers' families would make you feel a lot better about this whole God thing. Then you might be able to figure out why he left you on this earth.” Richard nodded as they walked off into the night.
- ● ●
The next morning Maryanne had kissed him hard before leaving for work. Richard had decided that he needed a job to preoccupy himself with as well. He asked every store on the street if they were hiring that morning. The only store that wanted to hire him on the spot was a grocery store.
“Is that the Reiben boy?” The storeowner was a man by the name of Jim Johnson. His father had known Jim, they were drinking buddies until Richard's father took it too far. Richard should have known better than to come to this store.
“Yes, I’m lookin’ for a job. You got any openings?”
“You just got back from the war?” Richard almost flinched, instead he turned it into a nod. “Well of course you’re going to need a job. If you had enough in you to survive the war, then I guess you have enough to get this job.” Jim laughed as Richard remained straight faced.
“So, the job is mine then?”
“Sure, we can start you right now.”
“Sounds spectacular.” Richard followed Jim to the back where he showed him where everything was. The job was easy enough, he only took inventory, restocked shelves and helped the occasional customer. Though Richard wasn’t too good at helping people. While on a break Richard thought of the letters back at the apartment, and how he needed to finish them. Richard finished the rest of the day, without thinking of the war or anything bad. Just normal things, he had a job now.
Richard got back to the apartment before Helen and Maryanne. He made a fast break for the letters and began to work, rewriting them on pages that weren’t bloody. He was starting into the address book when Maryanne and Helen got home from the factory.
“Oh, Richard, what have you been doing all day?”
“I got a job, just a starting one so I can pay for a lodge here. If that’s okay.” Maryanne shot a look to her mother, who only smiled complacently.
“Of course that’s okay Richard. Maryanne and I love having you around. Just until you get married though.” Richard’s mouth dropped open and Maryanne started to laugh.
“Looks like we have a lot to talk about tonight.”
“Yeah, apparently I didn’t let you talk enough last night.” Maryanne only smiled and Richard, despite annoyance, seemed to fall in love with her a little bit more.
“Yeah what have you been up to, besides your new job?”
“The letters we talked about last night. I know that I have to finish them.”
“It’s the right thing to do.” Richard continued looking in the address book and writing down the addresses, as Maryanne and Helen made dinner.
“Hey I need to go down and get some envelopes and stamps.”
“Mom, is it alright if I go with him?”
“Yeah, just leave me to make dinner I guess.” Maryanne laughed as they headed out the door. As soon as they were outside Richard pulled out a cigarette and lit up. He took a drag and then handed it to Maryanne.
“Richard, I want to get married.” Richard took another drag.
“You’re only saying that because you haven’t seen me in a while.”
“No, I wanted to marry you when I met you. I’d never been with a boy unless it was to piss someone off, but then there you were and I was with you because I actually liked you. I’ve been thinking about it all these days, when you were gone and I want to spend my life with you. Have you been thinking about me?”
“Of course I've been thinking about you, Maryanne. How could I not? You were the only thing that made me want to come home when I was in France.”
“Then how come your actin’ like you don’t want to marry me?”
“I just think we need to wait a little bit longer.” She sighed.
“You know most girls and their soldiers are gettin’ married right away. How come you want to wait?”
“Shit Maryanne I just feel like it's the right thing to do. I’ve been going off of gut feelings for so long that it feels like I don’t know how to go off of anything else.”
“I’m fine waiting then. I just wish you would take into consideration what I'm feeling too.”
“I am! I’m trying to speed up my whole entire thought process because you are talking about getting married. Just give me today and tomorrow, and I’ll tell you.”
The truth was Richard wanted to get married, but he needed some time to get into the feel of being home again. Richard had an idea,
- ● ●
The next morning Richard mailed the letters before work. With some help from Maryanne he had added some of his own notes after the initial letter. He needed help from Maryanne because he wasn’t so good at the sympathy thing. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He almost felt at peace with the things that had happened in France. Almost. He worked all day, and came home that night, after picking a few things up. Maryanne and Helen were chatting away over small bowls of soup.
“Oh Richard, do you want some soup?” Helen asked.
“No thankyou. Maryanne, I was wondering if you’d want to go out tonight?”
“Oh we are already eating dinner.”
“I have some things to talk to you about.” Maryanne flashed a worried look.
“Okay. Is this about yesterday?” Richard nodded. She jumped out of her seat kissing Helen on the forehead.
“We’ll be back.” She didn’t say soon because this could take anywhere from five minutes to an hour. They grabbed their coats and started walking towards the park they always went to. They sat on the same bench as the sun started to go down.
“Maryanne, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday. The truth is, I want to get married but I need some time. I need time to get used to the normalcy that surrounds your life. I need to get used to the idea that I don’t have to fight anymore, day in and day out. But I also thought about you and your feelings. How hard it must have been for you to wait for me and continue on with the war here. To worry about your mom and wonder if she’ll be okay.” Maryanne’s shaking fingers lit up a cigarette as Richard continued. “I know that you waited and it only makes sense that you would want to get married right away, so I don’t know why it feels so hard for me to think about. I need some time, but I figured that it would be better to wait as my fiancé?” Richard took a deep breath and got down on one knee, showcasing the ring he had bought only hours before.
“Shit Richard, that’s some very pretty words.” She sat in silence for a moment. “I’m glad you’ve recognized what we both want. I want what’s best for you and I want some stuff for me too. So, I’d be happy to wait as your fiancé.” Maryanne smiled so brightly Richard thought he might melt inside. She grabbed his head and pulled him in kissing him hard. “How could I say no to you anyway?”