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I wanted to be with you so much that this thought overlapped any other. Any sane one. I wanted to be with you so badly, even though I didn't know what it was like. I loved you. Or loved your image. We've known each other for almost a lifetime and yet it's like I still don't know you. Or I know you so well that I couldn't believe it: is this really who you are?
Are you really this rotten?
You may not believe it, but I really idolized you. In a perverse, possessive, selfish way. I hurt you without realizing it and you've been hurting me in a completely meaningful way in retaliation.
And you can't even admit that you hate me. And you hate having to hide behind words of love.
Loki, you were my world.
But the truth is that you still are my whole world.
I'm soaring over the abyss, knowing that without you, I'll probably never find the ground under my feet. We've grown on each other so much that it's torture to be apart.
But I've chosen to be without you.
Soaring, falling into the abyss, stumbling — it doesn't matter. It's better this way, Loki. Better for both of us.
Thor hates this letter. It stands on Loki's bedside table in a gilded frame. You try to put it away and you get a knife in the back. You ask for it to be put away and you get a contemptuous look, followed by a week of self-satisfaction.
They had their ups and downs, and at that moment, Thor was sure that he made the right decision. After this letter, they didn't see each other for several years. For several years, they moved away from each other. For several years, they grew and developed on their own until finally; they reunited when at completely new stages of their lives.
When Loki framed the letter, Thor thought it was a joke. But now this letter has stood for ninety-eight years.
It stands as a reminder that Thor had once hurt Loki badly. It stands as a reminder that Thor will never do it again. Thor considers this trick an attempt to keep old wounds open, mockery, and manipulation, but the truth is, that this is the only mockery Loki decides on these days. And Thor has even resigned himself to it, having long since given up wanting to destroy the framed piece of yellow paper.
After all, everything has been fine for ninety-eight years.