Chapter Text
1 hour, 27 minutes, and 34…35…36…seconds.
That’s how long it’s been since she picked him up at the airport. They have traveled in an awkward silence for nearly the entire time. She ran out of basic conversation topics somewhere around Riverdale as every question asked was met with one syllable, monotone answers. She finds it hard to believe that it has somehow only been an hour and a half, as this trip feels as though it should be at least double that so far.
“So…how long were you and my dad partners?”
Ahh, finally. A question from the passenger side of the car.
“Thirteen years, give or take.”
“Huh. I wonder why I haven’t heard of you.”
Her noticeable wince was covered by her side swept bangs as her grip tightened on the steering wheel.
Haven’t heard of her. Haven’t heard of her. Wow. Thanks, El.
“I wouldn’t know. Guess you’d have to ask your father that…or your siblings.” She responded tersely.
“I guess. I just don’t understand why my dad asked you to come get me instead of coming to get me himself.” Eli huffed.
“He’s…busy at the moment.” She settled on, not wanting to give too many details regarding Elliot’s current work situation. Eli would find out soon enough as all of his siblings were not so eagerly awaiting his arrival at the safehouse. They were all pretty pissed at their father’s recent antics, none of them being thrilled at the idea of spending a weekend stuck in isolation while planning their mother’s funeral.
“What else is new?”
“Eli, I understand that this is a lot for you-”
“No you don’t! You’re mother wasn’t murdered and you haven’t been taken away from everything you’ve ever known. Don’t try to pacify me, I’m not a child.”
“All right. That’s fair. I’m not trying to treat you like a child, but in my defense the last time I laid eyes on you, you were indeed a child. This feels weird for me too, you know?”
Had she looked over at him she would have seen his face scrunch up in confusion, his head finally turning to examine the elder brunette next to him.
“When did you…when did I ever see you?”
“The last time? Oh, you were about three years old. Your folks were having your birthday at the Queens County Farm and you kept insisting on riding the hayride over and over again. I ended up being the designated person somehow and we must’ve rode that thing at least six times.” She recalled, smiling.
“I didn’t know that.”
“That’s all right, clearly there’s a lot you don’t remember about me.”
“Is it ok…I mean, can I…ask?” Eli inquired awkwardly.
“Go for it.”
“You said that I could ask my siblings about you. Have you always been this involved in our family?”
Involved. That’s a word for it. As much as she loved the Stabler children with all her heart, she sometimes thinks she would’ve been better off not being so close. It nearly ripped her heart out the day she realized that on top of losing Elliot, she would be losing contact with the kids, especially Kathleen and Lizzie. Those two girls would speak with her the most, randomly texting her during the day to ask typical teenage questions and rant about how unfair their dad’s latest punishment was.
Then there was Kathy, the two of them being as close as you could be when you both loved the same man. She did her best to hold that barely there boundary over the years, but found herself defaulting on it a few times. If Elliot needed her to pick out Kathy’s Christmas gift, she would even though looking back she realized how sick and twisted that was. If she got word that Kathy was pissed off at Elliot, yet again, she’d be ready to drive over to Queens and help mediate. In fact, the only time she ever really held her boundary was when Kathy came to her to get Elliot to sign the divorce papers. She drew the line at convincing the man that she secretly loved to divorce his wife. It was too much.
“You could say that. Although I’d argue some of it has been against my will.” She joked.
“Did we bother you a lot?”
“No, not at all. I loved you kids, each of you, so much since the day you were born. I didn’t really grow up with a family so getting to spend time with you guys was a privilege.”
“Wow. So…you were around when I was a baby?”
“Around? I helped deliver you. I’ll never forget that day. It was one of the best and most terrifying moments of my life.”
“Wait, you were seriously there? Can you tell me the story? I had asked my mom a couple of years back for a personal essay I had to write for school and she told me she didn’t remember much. I was so angry. I asked her how she couldn’t remember the birth of her own son and then dad got mad and sent me to my room. I never really got an answer.”
“Well…your mom wasn’t lying. She really didn’t remember a lot, she was unconscious for most of it.”
“Unconscious?”
“Yeah, I was uh…driving your mom to a prenatal check-up because your dad was out in the field. While on the way we got t-boned by a drunk driver…”
She heard a small gasp next to her, but kept her eyes trained on the darkened highway ahead.
“Your mom and I were both out cold for a moment, I ended up waking first. Things are bit hazy for me too but I remember most of it. I remember breaking my driver’s side window, because I couldn’t get out of the car. Firefighters and EMS were there by the time I crawled out and they moved quickly, especially once we realized you were on the way.”
Olivia leaned her head to side and cracked her neck, long forgotten images, sounds, and smells racing forward from the depths of her mind.
“They got your mom out with the jaws of life, got her into the ambulance and we were off. She was conscious for a while and was able to push you out, then she lost consciousness again and didn’t regain it until she was in the hospital holding you. It…was an ordeal, Eli. I had to hold you in the back of the ambulance until we reached the hospital and it was so surreal. Being in a pretty horrific crash one moment to holding a new little life the next…but for your mom I imagine it was very traumatic.”
“I…thank you for telling me. I didn’t know all that.”
Olivia simply nodded as she kept her gaze trained ahead. As silence fell over the car once more, she reached for the radio and turned on one of her favorite stations. The musical stylings of Fleetwood Mac began to softly swirl around the vehicle, a calming atmosphere falling over both of them.
“Why…uh, why haven’t I see you since I was three?” He continued, much to her surprise.
At his question, she let out an audible sigh. It feels like yesterday she just did this dance with Elliot at the hospital, him offering some sort of apology for abandoning her for ten years with no word, her not being able to swallow it. She wasn’t particularly in a mood to rehash this with the mini-Elliot.
“Your dad and I had a rough case. One of many over all of our years, but this one turned out to be too much for him.” She answered, measuring her next words carefully as to not paint Elliot in any certain light. “A young girl was, uh, she was killed…and your dad had a hard time dealing with that.”
“So he just…never went back?”
“Nope. I never heard from him again. Until recently, obviously.”
She gulped audibly and turned it into a cough, hoping that Stevie Nicks’ voice was enough to drown out her involuntary responses.
“Wow. That’s uh-that’s pretty shitty. Of my dad, I mean.”
“Your words, kid. Not mine.” She joked as she changed lanes.
“Well I mean yeah, it just seems like you were really close to us.”
She could hear the leather of his seat creak as he shifted his weight and waited for the loaded question that all Stablers seem to ask or allude to.
“Just…how close…were you and my dad?”