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Chapter Text

With the snow falling and Christmas knocking on their door, Sirius can’t help but let the holiday coziness creep up on him. This year is like any other, last-minute Christmas shopping, fighting with other parents for the most popular toys in the kid world, and laughing at Remus when he slips on the ice as he hurries over to the Potters.   

Teddy has already gone before them, too impatient to wait for his dads, which is fair enough, really. Sirius and Remus are late, both walking in with messy hair and shirts out of place. James rolls his eyes as he greets them at the door and Lily retches out loud when she sees them stumbling in with sheepish grins plastered on their faces. Sirius’ cheeks are red from the cold outside and his hands are freezing, he would stuff them down Remus’ pants to warm a bit up, but there are kids there, so he keeps it decent. 

Teddy is sitting right under the tree with Harry and Luna, all three of them vibrating with excitement to open their presents, barely holding themselves back from ripping the wrapping paper to shreds and spelling their hot chocolate. The house is bustling with people moving around, James in his apron setting the table, Lily and Remus quickly move to their little corner to discuss either work or something nerdy as they always do. Pandora isn’t allowed in the kitchen after she nearly burned it down, so she lays her head in Lily’s lap and hums approvingly when she massages her scalp just right. James calls Sirius over for help but eventually kicks him out when he stands in the way and does nothing. There’s a knock on the door and Sirius hurries to open it, trying to prove that he can be useful during trying times.  

He's met with Mary’s face who immediately throws herself into his arms and shrieks delightfully with the smell of cookies hugging her. Sirius squeezes her hard enough to make her yelp and she gives him a hurried kiss on the cheek as she walks over to throw herself at James.  

Emmeline stands at the door in front of him and she rolls her eyes fondly as she gives him a quick hug and shoves a plate of gingerbread men into his hands. As he goes to close the door, it’s shoved open and he nearly tumbles to the floor, ruining the gingerbread men as Marlene tackles him. He snorts when he gets his balance and kisses the top of her head. They all have barely seen each other this past month, too caught up in being adults. Dorcas smiles politely at him but he throws his hands up and wiggles his finger with the Sirius Black grin. She sighs and hugs him tight enough to knock the air out of his lungs.   

When they walk in, James snatches the plates out of Dorcas’ and Sirius’ hands and he quickly sets them on the table. There’s only one pair missing but nobody seems to notice, and as Sirius is about to ask where they are, Xenophilius and Peter stumble in from the hall—Sirius assumes from the bathroom—both looking fucking obscene. Peter’s lips are swollen red and Xenophilius runs a hand through his hair but it keeps acting up with the strands falling into his face. He fixes his zipper when James gives him a hard stare and Peter tries throwing him an apologetic look but the smug smirk on his face gives him away.   

James finally ushers them to the table with the promise of a good meal making their stomachs grumble and mouths water. At the head of the table, sits James with Marlene on his left and Sirius on his right. Next to Sirius sits Remus and opposite Remus is Dorcas. Then, there’s Peter next to Remus and Pandora next to him. Opposite James sits Lily at the other end of the table with Mary and Emmeline at her left and right. Lastly, sandwiched between Mary and Dorcas you can find Xenophilius still trying to get his hair out of his face.  

The kids' table next to them is already messy with Harry throwing some peas into Luna’s face who is laughing at him. She nearly falls out of her chair and when Teddy starts laughing, she glares at him menacing enough to shut him up. Sirius snorts a laugh and looks away, avoiding Luna’s eyes. 

Catching up with each other is easy, and moving around each other is like muscle memory from their days at Hogwarts. Marlene passes the mashed potatoes to Xenophilius, who grimaces as he hands them to Lily because of his passionate hate for them. When the wine comes into play, the fun starts.   

Lily and Remus are strict about separating their work and personal lives, installing a firm wall between both but two glasses of wine in, and the secrets from the teachers' lounge start spilling. The math teacher, who is married to Susan—the school secretary—is sleeping with the principal to get a promotion. Of course, everyone knew except Susan who only found out when she caught two students passing notes in class, gossiping about her life as she had to fill in for her husband. Poor thing apparently stormed out and later that day cut his tires and threw him out.   

The more drinks are drowned, the more secrets are spilled and Sirius notices Peter and Xenophilius trying to sneak away but being forced back into their seats when Remus steps on Peter’s foot hard enough to send him falling into his chair again. He gives him a passive-aggressive smile and turns to continue his conversation with Dorcas.   

Sirius feels the warmth and love vibrating off every corner and crack in this house and he softly smiles to himself, a tad bit proud of the life he has built around himself and the one he left behind. He gives his kid a quick glance and then his husband next to him. He looks at his best friends all around the table and he suddenly feels tears well up in his eyes and a spark of fear at just how much he loves these people.  

He excuses himself to the bathroom but not before giving Remus a peck on the lips and ruffling Teddy’s hair. He walks down the hall and to the bathroom and he lets the door creak as he opens and shuts it behind him. He doesn’t lock it, there’s no need to and he looks at himself in the mirror. His face is a bit flushed from the alcohol and the warmth and now that he’s paying more attention to his surroundings and himself he finds that everything is soft around the edges, as if it were taken by an old camera. There’s no doubt in his mind that the dinner and life outside this bathroom would make the prettiest picture, the kind that you hang up and pause for a second to look at in your hurry to get to work. 

He splashes some cold water into his face and is met by calm gray eyes. They’re almost like Walburga’s except his are kind and if you look close enough you can see crinkles from all the laughter and secret smiles. The corners of Sirius’ mouth twitch up when he thinks about her rolling in her grave at the idea of him being happy and content with where he is.   

He walks out of the bathroom with the sound of laughter drawing him in. They sit and laze around for too long—the kids eventually persuade them that it’s time to open the presents.  

Dinner is still on the table in case anyone wants to grab another bite or go for another plate. Harry is the most eager out of the kids, ripping the wrapping paper to shreds, excited to see what’s waiting for him underneath. He jumps up, down, and into Sirius’ arms when he gets the new car toy that Sirius had to fight over with another parent. Luna throws herself into Peter’s arms, declaring her endless gratitude when she gets new science equipment. Teddy lets a huge gasp out when he sees that James has gifted him a special edition of his favourite book and he almost abandons the rest of his gifts right then and there. The night goes on like this, the kids throwing themselves from arm to arm and thanking everyone for the gifts.  

Of course, it’s not only them who got some and the adults start unwrapping theirs too. It’s always a yearly competition between Marlene and Sirius of who gives the most ridiculous presents and it looks like this year there is no winner. Both high-five each other and make a promise to win next year as their last gifts are opened.   

For Peter and Xenophilius, Mary brings an extra voucher allowing them to fuck in her and Emmeline’s brand-new bathroom. Not that anything would’ve stopped them anyway but they seem to appreciate the sentiment. These types of gifts are unwrapped when the children are too distracted by their new toys, playing with them with bright eyes and wide grins.  

Eventually, when they’re all worn down from their last-minute runs to fish for the last gifts, preparing Christmas meals, and the holiday rush, they all huddle up in blankets with hot cocoa in front of the television and start watching whatever is currently playing. The kids are practically little zombies, half asleep and the adults are chatting quietly with each other so whatever noise is playing doesn’t really matter. It’s not like they’re paying attention.  

The quick switch between the boring movie that was playing and breaking news catches all their attention and they all look at the television with questions on the tips of their tongues and sleep evident in their faces.   

Sirius has always thought of the term ‘breaking news’ as too dramatic, he never understood why it was used. His best guess has always been to catch the attention of the viewers and keep their whole attention devoted to the speaker. When he hears what the news lady says, he understands it.  

“Black chocolate factory re-opened,” she announces and all eyes turn to Sirius. He can’t hear anything past the ringing in his ears but the picture of his brother on the screen is like a slap across the face. He excuses himself, or at least he thinks he does, he can’t make sense of anything right now.   

As he storms out, he hears footsteps behind him and just as he was turning around to tell whoever was following him to fuck off, he sees Teddy at the end of the hall, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes and looking up at him. He sighs and runs a hand over his face. Remus is right behind Teddy and he gives him a soft look. Sirius tries to muster up a smile but fails. Misrabely.  

He doesn’t understand how this is happening but then again he never quite understood Regulus, so this shouldn’t be as surprising as it is. He sighs and Remus holds Teddy’s hand and starts handing him his jacket. He knows Sirius well enough to realise that this is like pressing down on a bruise that never quite healed, so, he takes Teddy by his hand and holds out his other for Sirius.  

After they’re all in enough layers to protect them from the weather outside, they start their short walk to their home—the home that screams them in every little corner. The walk back is of course familiar, Sirius could do it blindly. You would honestly think that with the amount of walking from and to James’ house they do, they might as well just move in with him.   

When they reach their doorsteps, there’s a single gift wrapped in red paper with a candy cane pattern and Sirius almost thinks it’s a gift they dropped in their hurry over to James’, but the wrapping paper he doesn’t recognise.  

Remus picks it up and ushers them inside. He quickly puts Teddy to bed and then walks down the creaky stairs to Sirius. The gift is still wrapped, Sirius not daring to touch it. Too afraid of what it might contain.   

When Remus sits next to him and squeezes his thigh, giving him an encouraging look, Sirius starts the unwrapping process slowly, with shaky hands and breaths. The sound of him ripping the paper is loud in the serenity of the night but he doesn’t stop until it’s all completely gone. The first thing he sees is a card.  

It has ‘Merry Christmas’ written in big, cursive handwriting that Sirius would recognize anywhere. It’s too similar to his for him to put up a clueless act and the three initials act as a harsh reminder, making him face reality whether he likes it or not. Remus looks down at them and when he connects the dots he gives Sirius’ thighs another squeeze.   

Sirius traces the ‘R.A.B’ with the calloused tip of his finger and he clears his throat. He looks down at what he is holding and finds that it’s a simple Star Bar, the ones they always used to produce. As Sirius puts it away, Remus stops and asks him to open the chocolate. He doesn’t understand why, but he does it nonetheless and besides the chocolate itself, he pulls something else out. It’s a golden ticket that glistens in the light and Remus gasps. Sirius’ best guess is that Remus has listened to whatever was announced on TV and when he explains it to Sirius, he doesn’t gasp. It’s a very Regulus thing to do.  

Sirius doesn’t know how to feel about it and doesn’t know what to do with it either, so he simply asks Remus to go to bed with him. He’ll try to untangle his thoughts in the morning because right now with the alcohol in his system and a meal keeping his stomach full and warm, he would like to pretend that his past hasn’t caught up to him. He would like to pretend that his brother hasn’t come back to haunt him and drag him back into something he has buried in the darkest corners of his mind.   

Chapter Text

Sirius dreams a lot that night. Whether it’s of his past, what’s to come, or the dread of waking up, he doesn’t sleep well. Remus must have noticed, handing him a mug of coffee with a sympathetic smile as soon as he had opened his eyes. He grumbles, walking into the bathroom to take a shower, hoping to clear his mind.  

Teddy seems to have taken note of the tension in the air, his eyes darting between Remus and Sirius at breakfast. Sirius did try his best to make it seem like any other day, but that is particularly hard when your brother is Regulus Black, headline of every newspaper.  

After breakfast, Remus decides it’s best to drop him off at the Potters, let the kids have their fun while the adults (they could hardly call themselves that) deal with the aftermath of Regulus’ doing. Nothing new, Sirius thinks bitterly. He had always suffered the repercussions of Regulus’ choices. 

The resentment in him never stopped growing, not really. But it could never really outweigh the love he held for his brother either. Because as much as he tried to hate Regulus, unlearning to love him was impossible. Sirius has come to terms with that over time. It gets manageable. His absence. His presence. Whatever.  

He’ll get this behind him too, he thinks as he stares at the Golden Ticket on his table with his husband sitting opposite him. Yeah. He thinks it’s fine. It’s not like he’s a helpless kid anymore, that time is long behind him. So is the history of the Black family, he supposes that’s a good thing. Something he’s not really keen on changing. He can miss his brother, miss the mother he never really had, and cling to the small good moments, he can do that, but he can never go back. It’s the way things are best left—you don’t go picking at old wounds, after all.

“I’m not going.”  

Remus nods, understanding. Sirius doubts he had expected anything else. It was rather obvious. “Darling,” he looks at him with an apology written on his face. Oh no, Sirius thinks desperately. He needs Remus to reassure him he has made the right choice. Not whatever he is about to do. “You miss him. Why don’t you try mending things?” 

Sirius clenches his jaw, throwing him a look of betrayal. He knows he misses Regulus. He doesn’t need anybody to point that out to him. He has to stand his ground, though. He knows it’s for the better. “My choice is final.”  

Remus sighs, probably not having expected any other outcome either. Sirius hopes the try was worth it to him.  

“What are you going to do with the ticket?”  

Sirius moves to rummage through the kitchen cabinets for a snack, a disguise to hide the doubt in his eyes and the tremor in his hands. He shrugs, opening and shutting wooden doors. “I don’t know. Throw it away for all I care.” His tone is clipped, not leaving much room for conversation.  

Remus seems to get the hint, simply nodding again.  

The rest of the day goes without any mention of Golden Tickets and chocolate. 

-- 

Over the days, the news are full of children who were fortunate (or, in Sirius’ opinion, unfortunate) enough to have gotten their hands on golden tickets.  

The first, to no wonder, is the little brat that is Sirius’ nephew...or something akin to that. Draco Malfoy. Looking at his oddly white-blond hair and his smug grin, makes Sirius grimace. The boy is a replica of his father, who Sirius admires for the ability of being able to stand so straight despite having a stick shoved so far up his ass. Really, he has to give him that.  

The next is the Weasley's kid. Not the tall one. Not the old one. Not the girl. Not one of the twins. The one with a smudge of dirt on his face. Ronald. Ron. He seems sweet enough, Sirius thinks. Molly and Arthur look ecstatic. Sirius doubts they’ll look the same when standing opposite the Malfoys.  

In any case, a few days later, the next kid is on TV, and Sirius grimaces. She reminds him of Remus in their first year. Sirius is no bully, really, but he can tell she is a goody-two-shoes. Nerdy. But, hey, he married the nerd. Don’t be too harsh on him.  

Now with the new year two days away, Sirius hopes this whole chocolate business will die down when the last two kids come forward and he can leave it behind him once and for all. Things seemed to have calmed a bit anyway, Regulus’ face finally not visible in every corner of earth. Sirius can feel life return to normal and he sighs contentedly as he moves in front of the TV with a cup of tea. Remus was out with Lily. Teddy was at the Potters'. 

He isn’t paying attention to the news in front of him, too busy smiling at Remus’ ridiculous socks thrown on the ground. He’ll make him pick them up later when he gets home. He sighs, dreamily, thinking of Remus. His broad shoulders, long legs, freckles, scars, James, James—James?  

Sirius’ brows furrow when they land on James on TV. James with Harry. Harry with a Golden Ticket. James and Harry. Betrayal. He drops his mug. James looks guilty. Sirius knows that he knows he had fucked up.  

He’s barefoot, rushing to James’ house as the reporters leave. Their eyes meet and Sirius tries reading off a plausible explanation on his face. He only finds guilt. Remus—he had given him the ticket. It all makes sense. But it doesn’t because he doesn’t understand why.

“Fuck you, prongs,”  

James rushes to him, sighing. “Sirius, I—I did it for you. I’ll talk to Reg, I know you miss him. Remus knows that t—” he never gets to finish his sentence, stopping when he sees that it’s helpless anyway.  

“Fuck you and fuck Remus.” Sirius spits out, rushing away. It’s childish, he is aware. It’s pathetic and selfish and and and. Sirius has never claimed he was anything else.  

He goes home, hurriedly putting shoes and a jacket on before heading off to the pub. He can’t say day drinking is his forte but hey, we all learn and grow.  

It’s a half hour later that Lily finds him, now just a bit tipsy and he groans, knowing of the lecture that’s to come. She smiles softly at him, squeezing his shoulder as she takes the seat next to him and orders a vodka cranberry.  

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Black. I’m not here to lecture you.” 

“Let me guess, Remus sent you? Maybe James?” 

She glares at him, sipping on her drink when the bartender hands it to her. He sighs. He likes Lily. He doesn’t like being mean.  

“Believe it or not, I can make my own choices.” She sets the glass on the counter, her expression softening when she sees his (probably miserable) face.  

He takes a minute to speak, drowning another shot to prepare himself. “I’m sorry.” He says, then grimacing when his throat burns.  

She smiles at him. Apology accepted. The Black charm never fails him, he sees.  

“However,” Sirius groans. The Black charm has failed him. Lily laughs as she continues, “I’m here to offer you some advice.”  

“Save it, Red.” 

Lily reaches over and lightly smacks him over the head. She sighs, throwing him a pitying look before starting. “You know Petunia?” 

Sirius looks at her, exasperated and she smiles softly, continuing now that she got her answer. “I miss her. Every day. Don’t make the same mistake as me, Sirius. Go see him.”  

“I can’t Lily. You don’t get it.” He sits up, showing the serious side of him for once. He never really liked talking about what had happened but Lily is one of the few who know. They had some sort of loser ‘shitty siblings’ club. He expects her to understand and know better than anyone.  

“I might not,” she shrugs, “but I know that you’ll regret it. He wants to see you. Give it a chance.”  

He wordlessly drowns her glass of vodka. He doesn’t understand why the people in his life have to be so mature but with them all telling him to go--hell, he wants to go too, and he thinks he has finally found the excuse to see Regulus.  

“Fuck you,” he mutters softly, mind hazy when she drags him home.  

Fuck you, he thinks when he finds another package on his doorstep. 

Fuck me, he thinks with Remus in bed that night.  

Fuck this, he thinks the next day, standing in front of the factory gates.  

I missed you, he almost tells Regulus when he sees him

Chapter Text

Regulus has changed. Physically, at least. His disdain for children remains, Sirius sees. Or, maybe it’s just Draco with Lucius making his lips curl up in distaste. Sirius supposes he’ll figure that out in the factory, which unlike both brothers remains the same. Standing tall. Looking haunted. Smelling of a horrible childhood.

The smell nauseates Sirius, making his stomach turn with the memories connecting to that smell. He had come up with a few recipes that are still being sold. Funnily enough, he can’t bear the taste of any, though. That came later with time. After he had run away. The chocolate smell only served as a reminder of the time he had spent there. It had felt like a prison sentence. Except Sirius had been innocent. A child.  An innocent child.

He looks at his kid next to him and can’t comprehend how anyone could ever want to hurt him. The mere thought of any harm coming Teddy or Harry’s way makes him sick. He can't understand how his parents could do it. He thinks that's a good thing.

He quickly shifts his gaze to James who knocks his shoulder into his. An attempt to reassure him. Sirius holds a grudge, though. He still is mad at him. And he still knocks his shoulder into his. Because that’s James. James who has been there for it all. As mad as he is at him, he knows forgiveness will come to him in no time. That’s them. That’s normal.  

What’s not normal is Ron rushing forward to hug Regulus. A good-hearted kid, he is but that won’t get him far with Regulus out of all people. Regulus smiles tightly, his smile so forced he almost looks constipated. “Well, hello to you too.” he grits out, attempting to get away from him.  

Ron smiles sheepishly, leaning back and scratching his neck. “Mr. Black or...Regulus? Your factory is sick.” He tells him in awe, little eyes lighting up. Molly puts a hand to her chest, smiling too.  

“Mr. Black will do.” Regulus nods curtly, then thanking him. Sirius rolls his eyes. Mr. Black. Please, Sirius has only known him as Reg, Reggie and in more difficult times between them it was Regulus. He wants to knock him off this high horse.  

He steps forward, passing him. Regulus’ tranquil facade falters for a second. “Reg, long time no see.” 

Reg throws him an exasperated look. He knows the meaning behind this. Sirius displays all his teeth. A mean smile just for Reg. “Sirius, welcome back.” He doesn’t correct him. No point in trying anyway, Sirius is the older one after all. Though, to no surprise, he does throw a snarky comment because of course he does. “You look...old.”  

Sirius’ eye twitches. “Do tell, Reggie, how is the plushie...what was his name?” Sirius trails off, clicking his hands, acting as if he can’t remember. He had made that stuffed animal himself.  

“Regulus,” he interrupts, correcting him. My name is Regulus.   

“Ah, Kreacher. Do you still sleep wi—” 

James claps him on his back, laughing awkwardly. Regulus has a murderous look in his eyes. He immediately directs it to Draco when he snickers. “Alright, let’s just...” He instantly stops talking, both brothers glaring at him.  

Regulus dramatically whirls around, walking ahead of Sirius and into the factory.  

“That’s my uncle?” Teddy mumbles to Sirius when Regulus is away at a safe distance. “He’s scary.”  

Sirius scoffs, shaking his head. He knows Regulus, how could he ever scare anybody?  He can look well past the walls he had built up around himself. He can look past the constant frown and scowling, past the mean smiles and all he sees is a little boy clinging to his leg, crying because he had lost a tooth. Crying because he ran into a vase or accidentally stepped on a flower. Pfft, scary.  

He rolls his eyes, listening to his brother talk. He sounds all grown up. Kind of. As grown up as he can get in Sirius' eyes. Regulus' gaze coincidencely lands on Teddy and he halts mid-sentence, before continuing. He has never met his nephew. It’s no wonder. Sirius thinks they’d get on fine enough, the boy is so similar to Remus. All three absolute nerds.  

They had gotten along just fine at school. Remus and Regulus, that is. Until he ran away, of course, but that’s another story.  

For a moment, Sirius regrets not forcing Remus to go in his stead. Seeing Regulus has already brought out a version of him that should be buried somewhere deep enough for him to never find again. But Regulus somehow always manages to dig his hand so deep, bringing out parts Sirius would rather forget about in a way nobody could. That’s what being siblings is, Sirius thinks.  

Regulus knows him in a way nobody else does—could, yet doesn’t know him at all. Not really. He knows secrets Sirius will take to the grave, and is ashamed of having. But he doesn’t know his favourite colour. Or his favourite book. His favourite song. None of the things that matter at the end of the day. He still loves him in some twisted, fucked-up sibling way. He can’t help it—has never really tried and doesn’t want to.  

The man standing in front of the crowd—talking and explaining things Sirius already knows, isn’t Mr. Regulus Arcturus Black. That’s his brother. His little brother.  

The little genius who dreamt of more than chocolate. More than what these suffocating walls contain. Sirius wonders when these dreams were crushed by their mother like cocoa nibs. When they were small enough to fit the mould she tried forcing Sirius into. He feels sorry for him.  

His entire life had been based around this. And in the end, he was all alone. It almost makes Sirius think of Rapunzel, all alone trapped in her little (or, not so little) tower. He shakes his head. The comparison is ridiculous. Regulus chose to say. He might not look happy but it’s a choice he made. And Sirius won’t pity him for having to deal with the consequences. He stopped doing that a long time ago.  

He is watching him take accountability for his decisions—leading them into a room that is a chocolate and candy wonderland. The awe in the kids’ and adults’ eyes is not to be missed. It’s Sirius only whose expression remains unimpressed. Bored. This had been his idea, after all. Regulus had apparently just tried bringing it to life.

Regulus knows, if his fleeting glances Sirius’ way count for something. Sirius scoffs when Regulus announces that everything is edible, and kids immediately head for the edible grass and chocolate rivers.  

“Do you like it?” Regulus asks, attention fixed on Sirius. He looks hesitant. Asking for approval. Which he won’t get.  

Sirius turns away, sighing. He never liked being mean—especially not to Regulus out of all people. “It’s dumb. Something straight from a child’s imagination.”  

James looks between them again, grimacing at Sirius’ harsh tone. “I think it’s nice?” 

Regulus turns away too, both brothers wearing the same expression as James looks helpless between them. Regulus huffs.  

“Why thank you, James.”  

James doesn’t get a chance to respond, if he wanted to at all, that is. Because Ron finds himself barely clinging to the chocolate floor, desperately trying not to fall into the chocolate river. Regulus sighs again, harsher this time. “Please get away from the river. I need my chocolate to be clean.”  

“I’m trying!” Ron says, falling into the river not even a second later. Molly rushes his way, her eyes wide in horror as if she just witnessed a murder. Regulus looks like he was inconvenienced by getting blood on his shirt. Though, in this case, it is chocolate. 

Molly’s eyes snap to Regulus, yelling at him to do something. With a tired expression on his face, he claps his hands, suddenly summoning little creatures that freak Sirius out. His face twists up in horror as they jump into the chocolate river with their diving equipment, trying to save Ron before he gets sucked through the pipe.  

“What are these?” Sirius gasps, eyes still wide.  

Regulus ignores him at first. “Bartemius, please escort Mrs Weasely out.”  

Bartemius, a tiny creature with orange skin nods, holding onto Molly’s leg as he guides her out.  

“They’re Oompa Loompas.” He responds, finally. 

“What?”  

“Oompa Loompas.”  

Sirius’ brows furrow, never having heard that word before. He tries remembering if his mother had mentioned these...things before but comes back just as clueless as he was before. Teddy next to him, tugs at his shirt with Harry next to him. “Sirius, is Ron gonna be okay?” Harry asks. Now, thinking about it, he and Ron are in the same year. Probably in the same class. They must be friends then.

Sirius smiles at him, ruffling his hair. “Well, if Reggie here doesn’t murder him in the next room, then yeah. Don’t worry.”  

Harry distrustfully, narrows his eyes at Regulus. James laughs next to them, pushing his glasses up. “Oh please, Reg would never.”  

He sounds sure of his answer. So sure, it seems that it rubs both brothers the wrong way. They both narrow their eyes at him and Sirius thinks he catches a hint of the classic ‘oh no, I fucked up’ James Potter look. He knows James. He knows he can’t keep a secret to save his life.“How do you know that, Prongs?” 

“Yeah, Prongs,” Regulus parrots, his brow arched and head tilted. Features sharp. Deadly. Sirius wants to smack him over the head. Only he gets to intimidate James. 

James’ brow suddenly arches too, and he gives Regulus a daring look. Oh god. “You know how I know,” he responds, eyes unwavering as he stares at Regulus. Cocky. Sirius wants to smack him over the head too.  

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius asks, suspicious. Whatever this is, it looks like unresolved sexual tension. He thinks back to when rumors about them both had spread. They had denied them. And Sirius had believed both James and Regulus. They gave him no reason to believe otherwise, anyway. Now, this seems rather odd.  

Neither one responds, James finally breaks the eye contact by shifting his attention to Sirius. “Nothing.” 

James and Sirius don’t do nothings. This is getting too suspicious for Sirius’ liking. He glances at Regulus and oh god. Oh. Oh, the rumours hadn’t been lies. The slight blush from Regulus’ neck to his ear-- it gives it all away.  

Sirius' jaw drops open. The audacity. He looks between them again and again, and each time he regrets having a brain. Eyes. Ears. It makes him regret his entire existence. “Oh my god.” 

James’ eyes widen. He knows Sirius knows. Seems to be a common theme with them, really. “Sirius, it’s not—” he tries, is interrupted by a hand raised.  

“Prongs, I’m going to murder you.”  

“Why not Reg too! It takes two—” He’s interrupted once again, Sirius tackling him. Regulus’ turn is next, that needn’t be said now, though. He is going to murder them both. Not for doing it, but for not telling him. As dramatic as he can be, he wouldn’t have gotten in their way. He is no Walburga.  

Regulus, though, quickly steps in, calling another one of these Oompa somethings and he makes a bunch of them bite at Sirius until he lets James go. By the time Sirius is back on his feet, his hair is disheveled, and his face is chocolate-stained. He glares at them both before wordlessly catching the kids’ eyes who look horrified. He may have overreacted.  

---

There are no murder attempts on the rest of their journey which resumes on a boat. The chocolate waves crash around wildly, and Sirius can’t help but think this is an extra element Regulus added for the dramatics. There is no logical explanation for it to be knocking them around like helpless puppets with their strings cut.  

It annoys Sirius to no end but the chocolate in his hair, already hard, keeps him from complaining as Teddy tries tugging it out of his hair. It hurts, children aren’t careful and he almost cries out in pain but the Malfoys’ mocking gazes on him, force him to suck it up. Harry, taking care of the other side is distracted, not even attempting to rid his godfather’s hair of chocolate. Sirius thinks he prefers that to whatever Teddy is doing.  

They pass multiple rooms with clear doors, allowing them a glimpse of whatever it is that is happening inside. At one point a room has two Oompas making out and Regulus frowns, waving his hand around and somehow ordering more Oompa-thingies inside to separate them.  

Sirius is not sure that is an appropriate sight for children. Regulus looks too used to it, muttering something sounding like ‘damn you Bartemius’ under his breath. Sirius genuinely wonders what the fuck is even happening around here anymore. Regulus seems to have made some changes to his peculiar tastes and Sirius is not sure if he likes that. Not that he has a say. Or that he cares because he most certainly doesn’t.  

Getting involved with Regulus again is not something he is interested in.  

Before he can turn and scowl at Regulus, the boat halts. It almost sends Sirius flying to the other end and now he does scowl at his brother. Unbelievable. This isn’t even safe for adults, not to mention children.  

He huffs and puffs on the rest of the journey, which thankfully continues on land, where Sirius can rely on his two feet and not Regulus’ innovations that somehow make him suspect that this is all a fucked-up scheme to get him murdered.

The next room they enter is not smaller by any means. Just less impressive. Some machinery, some Oompa-creatures working here and there. The thing that stands out the most is an oversized gumball machine. Just as Regulus opens his mouth to speak, Draco twists the handle and in an instant, he has a piece of gum in his mouth. Yikes.  

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Draco is as entitled as his father, whose smug grin has made Sirius consider if waterboarding him in the Chocolate River really is wrong. That grin fades when Draco’s face contorts into confusion and he starts turning blue.  

“Oh dear. That was a prototype.” Regulus sighs, rubbing his forehead until the skin reddened. Sirius snorted a laugh at the panicked look on both father and son’s faces. Draco starts expanding in size until he was practically a ball.  

All eyes focused on him were suddenly turned away by a shriek.  

An Oompa thing was also growing larger, turning some strange dark orange colour because of the blue on top of its normal orange skin before it exploded. The sight was horrifying. And just as Sirius was about to reach out and cover Teddy’s eyes, confetti covered the room. Confetti. An Oompa creature didn’t bleed. It was fucking confetti. What the fuck.  

The only person who didn’t look surprised is, of course, Regulus. He merely sighed again, looking like he was at his wit’s end before ordering an Oompa Loompa (Sirius thinks that is their name) to roll Draco who was now quite literally a ball out of the room as he started crying in fear. The sight almost made Sirius forget the little orange creature exploding.  

---

The next station does surprisingly manage to make the previous events go all forgotten. As much as he hates admitting this, Sirius is quite impressed by this one.

He doesn’t understand the science behind it. He doubts anyone besides Regulus could. But watching him put a Star Bar through a small television only to have it actually appear in there leaves everyone in awe. The only person remaining besides Teddy and Harry is some little girl whose eyes could practically fall out of their sockets any moment.  

She starts rambling about how it would be possible—sounding as nerdy as Regulus, honestly. Sirius huffs softly, shaking his head in amusement as Regulus ignores her and turns to him instead. He isn’t even trying to hide that he wants Sirius to be impressed.  

“Do you like it?” He asks him, unblinking. The girl closes her mouth, realising listening to her wasn’t in Regulus’ plans.  

Sirius arches a brow, looking around. “It’s alright. I guess.” He wasn’t going to feed Regulus’ ego. No matter how much he did like it. Regulus didn’t need to know what.  

“All right?! It’s—,” The girl—Hermione, Sirius thinks—starts again, but Regulus dismisses her words with a wave of his hands. He gives her a tight smile, leaving Sirius to feel like the bad guy. 

“He’s right. It could be better,” Regulus merely replied, that determined glint in his eyes. This little shit. Sirius knew he would defy nature’s laws to make him admit that yes, what he did was pretty cool. That he might be threatening Sirius' place as the cooler brother.

Hermione looks between them with bulging eyes. She shakes her head, muttering some things under her breath. He doesn’t know what possesses children here to do stupid things but she reaches into the screen without warning, shrinking to fit inside the TV.

Regulus’ expression is tired. He looks like his hair is on the verge of greying. “Don't—” he starts but gives up halfway through. “Why do I even bother,” he mutters. With another wave of his hand, an Oompa-Loompa jumps after Hermione, whose father is panicking. Sirius is glad to have raised a smart child that doesn’t go touching strange things.  

A few seconds later, both the Oompa-Loompa and Hermione are out of the TV but half their original size.  

“Take her to the Taffy-Pulling machine.”  

“What?” Asks Hermione’s father, eyes wide.  

Regulus doesn’t bother with answering, letting father and daughter be swept away into another room.  

For the umpteenth time that day, Sirius wonders what the fuck is wrong with his brother. He doesn’t even mean to be rude but that sounds like a medieval torture method. It fits the Black style, there’s no denying that, at least.

---

The last station turns out to be quite...adorable. Little squirrels inspecting and cracking open nuts. Watching them is quite fascinating. Who is really enamored with them, though, seems to be Harry. He tugs at James’ sleeves, mumbling something to him while their wide eyes make father and son resemble deer.  

There’s a railing separating them and the little creatures who are sitting on stools. Sirius almost climbs over and gets one to pet himself.  

“Dad, I want one!” Harry says, still tugging at James’ sleeves. If it weren’t for James’ height, he could easily pass as a little kid with that look on his face.  

He nods, his gaze still fixed on the squirrels. “Yeah, I want one too.”  

Regulus snorts a laugh, looking at the creatures below, and watches one throw a nut away before cracking it. He smiles, satisfied. Must’ve been a bad nut, Sirius guesses. “They’re not pets. They’re trained to work.”  

“I still want one.”  

“Not possible.” Regulus replies easily, turning his back to them. An Oompa Loompa comes up to him, making him crouch to whisper in his ear. The expression on his face turns solemn and he mumbles something about Bartemius again. Then, he sends the Oompa Loompa off with an exasperated sigh. He seems to be handling the whole ‘leading a business’ thing pretty well, though. If you put all the sighing aside. 

But as Regulus is distracted, Harry somehow manages to sneak down the railing and finds himself standing beside the squirrels. Regulus’ eyes widen. The first time he had given a reaction to any kid in danger was with Harry. Sirius wonders if it’s painful looking at Harry because of the whole...well, Sirius shall not say it. He doesn’t like thinking of how his best friend and brother sneaked around behind his back. He would’ve given his blessing eventually. But this thought only makes the entire hiding ordeal even worse. 

“James, go get your kid.” Regulus says, rushing to the railing. “They don't—they don’t like kids. Come back here. I’ll give you a treat,” He turns to Harry, attempting to lure him out as if he were an animal. Sirius would laugh if it wasn’t Harry down there.  

James jumps into action after registering Regulus’ words, trying to get down too. Regulus’ face pales. He grabs him by the arm. “Just—wait.”  

“You just told me to go get him!”  

“Will you just shut up for one minute?! I’m trying to think!” 

They sound like him and Remus. Sirius’ heart...warms at the sight of them bickering. Of course, Remus would never be this rude to him but that’s to be expected of Regulus. Harry down there, looks happy though, reaching for a squirrel. Regulus immediately calls Oompa Loompas over.  

The squirrel looks at Harry with big, brown eyes before it nudges the squirrels next to it. Next thing they know, Harry is surrounded by squirrels and is pushed down onto a chute where the bad nuts go. Then, he’s...gone.  

“Regulus. What the fuck happened to my kid.”  

Regulus looks tired. Fed up. He takes a deep breath in, then out before answering James. “He’s going to be fine. Just...follow them.” He gestures to the Oompa Loompas who grab James’ hands and escort him out. He throws Sirius a helpless look and Sirius turns to his brother. 

“Did you kill my godson?” Sirius asks, deadpan.  

“What? I—Sirius, what ? Why would I kill a kid?” Regulus looks at him in disbelief, rubbing his forehead again. He looks at least ten years older than when they started this tour.  

After that, no words are said. They both take a moment to calm down. Sirius reassures Teddy that Harry is still in one piece (he hopes) and tries to convince himself that he can spend a few minutes in Regulus’ presence alone.  

Regulus who seems to have composed himself again as he turns to them with a peculiar look on his face. It takes Sirius a moment to realise it’s supposed to be a smile. Regulus is trying to smile. Did he actually kill Harry and is he trying to make up for it? That would be the only explanation, really.

“Uh...congrationals, y—you win. The factory is yours...technically.” Despite having to address Teddy, his gaze is fixed on Sirius. Sirius knows the factory is supposed to belong to him. This is pointless. It makes all thoughts of Harry's possible murder fly out of the window. Sirius raises a brow. “I mean, obviously. But you can stay here. With me.” His eyes are still on Sirius as he continues, clearly growing restless under his big brother’s scrutiny.  

“No thank you.” Sirius huffs, his response curt.  

Regulus’ face drops. He takes another minute to come up with something. “Y—you can have the squirrels. I’ll retrain them for you.” He offers, clearly desperate.  

“I don’t want the squirrels, Reg. I don’t want the factory. You know that.”  

Sirius shakes his head, disappointed. He really believed seeing him again would do any good. But it seems that Regulus is still the same boy he had to leave behind. He’s still so fixated on the factory, failing to see that Sirius doesn’t want it--loathes it. If he could, he’d burn it to ashes and then spread them over Walburga and Orion’s graves to spite them in death. He didn’t come here for the factory.  

He thought Regulus knew that. Maybe he was wrong.  

“Then what do you want? Tell me. I’ll give it to you.” Regulus’ face only pales further the more he looks at Sirius, who is heading for the exit. 

He shakes his head, turning back to spare him one last look. “Are you serious? What I want is my brother. I came to see you. Not this stupid fucking factory.” Remus would scold him for cursing in front of Teddy, is all Sirius thinks as he turns his back to his brother again and keeps walking.  

Regulus sputters after him, even tries to reach out and stop him but Sirius doesn’t stop, clutching Teddy’s hand tightly. “Leave it, Regulus.”  

And leave it Regulus does.  

Chapter Text

Sirius finds his way swiftly out of the factory. He knows this place inside out, despite Regulus’ adjustments, after all.Teddy remains quiet throughout the way home. The tension between the brothers was palpable enough, even for a child.  

When they arrive home, he wordlessly heads to his room, thankfully leaving Sirius and Remus alone. The second Sirius hears his door shut, he breaks down in tears in Remus’ arms. He had missed Regulus so terribly, the ache gnawing at his bones. Seeing him, Sirius had wanted to make amends. He didn’t try to, though, that much is obvious. Because whenever he saw Regulus something ugly gripped him and he would often turn into a version of himself he would rather leave buried.  

The sight of Regulus made guilt that has been simmering for over a decade consume him whole. It made him feel like a bad person. Because that’s what being raised by Walburga did to you. Sirius constantly lived in a state of guilt that he had been trying to compensate for his entire life. Escaping didn’t make that go away. Perhaps nothing ever would, but Sirius learned to live with it.  

Seeing Regulus caused all the years spent desperately trying to live harder. It made him feel guilty for even trying. Regulus didn’t get to escape; he didn’t force him with him the day he left. How could he ever live with that knowledge?  

He lacks the words to express this to Remus who rubs his back, holding him tightly. He gives up after some failed attempts, instead letting the soft sobs speak for themselves. Remus is no stranger to Sirius’ breakdowns. 

---  

The next morning, Sirius’ head throbs. The dehydration and exhaustion catch up to him. He sighs, sitting up in bed. He hears Remus moving about the kitchen. Teddy must be awake too since the kid never sleeps in. A pain in the ass when you’re a parent and a night owl, but Sirius had grown accustomed to it with time. He tries hiding the bad days from Teddy but considering yesterday, that'd be impossible.  

After taking a moment to compose himself, he heads down to the kitchen. Thankfully, it seems that both Remus and Teddy had decided to act as if everything were normal for Sirius’ sake. He would eventually explain it to Teddy but right now all he wanted was a peaceful morning with too much coffee and the entire day spent with an open window, smoking. He thinks of dropping Teddy at James’ again but then recalls that he doesn’t even know if James made it back.  

He should call. Ask how he made it back home. What had happened after he left but he is selfish enough to just...go back to bed after he finishes breakfast. He hopes Remus somehow read his mind and plans on taking care of that.  

In the meantime, he thinks a cigarette with little to no human interaction could do him some good.  

And that is precisely how he spends the next few days. Wallowing alone in silence. Except for the conversation Remus would attempt to start but quickly give up when he finds Sirius unresponsive.  

Even as the New Year crawls closer, Sirius refuses to leave the house. He hasn’t spoken to James—who had made it back safe and sound either. Remus had informed him of this on the second day after he had made it clear he had no intention of calling. It’s not that he is mad at him—perhaps he is, just the tiniest bit of resentment lingering—it’s just he wouldn’t know what to say. Regulus would surely be brought up again. Sirius would rather not speak of him ever again. He would rather not have to leave the house for the next year or so, until he was sure everybody had moved on.  

But he knows that is not possible. And it proves to be true when on the third day, Mary comes knocking. He had initially planned to ignore her. Maybe Remus would find a way to send her away but if Sirius knew anything it was that Mary Macdonald is resilient.  

Half an hour later, she was sitting at the edge of the bed. She didn’t attempt to start awkward conversation, instead, she pulled out a flask smelling of something strongly alcoholic and pushed it into his hands. Sirius took it, chugged some of the liquid down, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You know me so well.” 

“You’re welcome,” She snorts, taking a swing herself. Then, she moves and opens the curtain of the window. Sirius shies away from the sunlight like some vampire. He narrows his eyes and rubs them, watching Mary sit back on the bed. “You look awful.” 

“Too harsh, Macdonald,” he sighs, cracking a small smile. He takes the flask from her hand and gulps down some more before coughing. Mary pats him on the back, watching him for a moment. She pushes him aside and slips under the blankets too.  

There are not many words said between them. His and Mary’s relationship didn’t require words. It was just a silent understanding. A small reminder of ‘Hey, I’m here. Always.’ and if Sirius were being honest, he preferred that to most conversations he had.  

Mary stayed for lunch and dinner, dragging him to the kitchen. She set the table with him and Sirius felt more like a person after a few hours in her presence. Before she left, she hugged him tightly, squishing so hard, almost making his eyes pop out of their sockets. She made him promise he’d be at the New Year’s party hosted at the Potters’ and then left. Sirius had no choice but to agree.  

He knew he couldn’t avoid James and the topic of Regulus any longer.  

---

New Year’s Eve arrived in a jiffy and before Sirius knew it, he was preparing to leave. He had taken a long shower, brushed his hair, and put on some nice clothes. He didn’t want to start the new year off on the wrong foot. Getting all dressed up made him feel good, no matter the situation.  

The walk, usually so short, this time felt infinitely long. The time spent waiting after he knocked was even worse. James opened the door with a smile on his face. It morphed into a look of surprise when his eyes landed on Sirius and the next thing Sirius knew was home. James’ hugs were firm. Safe. Felt like a home he had never had.  

He hugged him back just as tightly and then, feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, he moved inside. The relief of seeing everybody lazing around, the kids playing around reminded him of Christmas.  

He tried not to think of what had happened later that day. He chooses to distract himself with a few sips of wine, disturbing conversation with Pandora who shares her last experiment in so much excruciating detail, it leaves Sirius with a slightly funny stomach. He will never comprehend how Lily can stand it. But, knowing her it might as well just be dirty talk to her ears. How unsettling.  

He turns to the TV, hoping for something to distract him from Lily and Pandora’s sex life.  

And a distraction he does get. He watches cartoons with the kids. Then, when he can’t bear to listen to any more cartoon voices, he moves to the kitchen. He snorts a laugh when James, already tipsy, burns his finger making popcorn and decides to go for a smoke.  

He should have brought a jacket, he realises outside as he blows on his hand and his nose turns red. He barely gets to enjoy the cigarette before having to rush inside and steal all the blankets inside—yes, even the one from his godson. 

Oh. 

Oh shit. 

His godson. 

Harry.  

He had forgotten to ask how it had gone after he had left. He looks him over but finds that the boy is unharmed. Harry confirms this much when he asks him. He even refers to Regulus as nice. Unexpected. Not that Sirius pays it too much mind, though. Regulus probably had to be nice because of James.   

The holiday season always made him miss Regulus more. Both boys had relied on each other to get through their childhood because of how awful their parents had been. There was never a dull Christmas with Regulus, at least. Sirius would always, without fail, attempt to make him a handmade gift each year.  

That’s how he had made Kreacher, the plushie. Sirius had been initially ashamed to show him to Regulus, not to matter gift it to him but the boy had grabbed the thing, held it tightly to his chest and never let go.  

He sighs melancholy, thinking of how much he would want Regulus there. Sure, it’d be uncomfortable for the rest at the beginning but who cares about them if Sirius had Regulus by his side and knew that he was well? That he wasn't overworking himself because the idiot had a habit of doing that.  

After his conversation with Harry, Sirius decides watching some more silly cartoons on the television would be a much better idea. He had his fair share of New Year’s Eve and Christmases spent in the bathroom, trying to hide that he was crying from everyone else because of how awfully he missed Regulus.  

Not even five minutes through the little creatures on the TV talking, Christmas repeats itself all over. It starts with a red banner and ‘BREAKING NEWS’ and a lady talking. Sirius’ heart drops to his stomach, too afraid to see what she would announce. This was never a good sign for him.  

‘BLACK FACTORY CLOSED.’ 

Sirius reads, over and over until the words stop making any sense and the letters swim around. He turns to see if the others in the room heard. They did.  

Before he can rush out of the house again, he hears the doorbell ring.  

He jumps to his feet so quickly, he doesn’t even notice that nobody was moving a muscle, watching him go.  

There’s no hesitation when he opens the door with wide eyes because maybe deep down he has always known who would expect him on the other side.  

Regulus’ face is flushed, probably from the cold as he looks at Sirius with big eyes.  

“I closed it. I—I don’t want it. I miss—” he doesn’t get to finish the sentence before Sirius drags him into a bone-crushing hug.  

He finally feels the tension leave his body.

--- 

To Sirius’ dismay, Regulus and James share a kiss, which he catches a glimpse of before he melts into Remus, at midnight exactly. The fireworks outside make Sirius feel like he has finally won. He had regained a fragment of his soul that he had been missing for years. The kids were long asleep upstairs, with the adults already drunk too.

Though, James had long since fallen asleep too. Regulus sat quietly next to him. Sirius smiled and left for the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, leaving the door unlocked like always. This time, he doesn’t want to splash his face with cold water. He’s too afraid that this is all a dream and that he will wake up any second now. If it is a dream, he'd rather stay here.

After leaving the bathroom, he finds Regulus waiting for him in the hallway. His cheeks are still flushed, though this time from the warmth and alcohol. He has a soft smile on his face. It doesn’t look too out of place. He doesn’t look out of place.  

“I have a surprise. Come,” he whispers, leading Sirius to the window with hardly enough space for two people to sit. Their knees knock together as if they were little kids and Sirius grins brightly.  

Regulus pulls a Star Bar out of his pocket, handing it to Sirius. “It’s the last one.” He explains softly.  

Sirius merely nods, a gentle smile gracing his face. He opens the chocolate bar, breaks it in half, and shares it with Regulus. They don’t speak. Just stargaze in silence as the last piece that has been missing from their lives falls into place.  

Sirius is sure he could finally die the happiest man alive.