Chapter Text
HAWK pov
"So if you could go back to the past and i mean waaay back in the past, what would you change first?" demetri asked, we were sitting in his livingroom watching some movie.
What kind of question was that?
I sighed and looked at him, can't we just watch the movie without him talking?
"demetri you can't go to the past, so why even bother thinking about it"
Demetri looks at me disappointed. "hey come on it's just for shits and giggles"
He smiles softly. "it wouldn't hurt to have some fun together again, you know like we used to. I remember when we would make a list of things we would've changed, you know when a girl would turn us down or the..... Guys for your case"
I felt my face blush in embarrassment. "Uggh fine" i say glaring at him. "just shut up about that!" he laughed at me but nods. "i guess it was a bit embarrassing, but we always laughed in the end" he says.
"well i guess the first thing i would've done is start styling my hair, oh and change my style of clothes before miguel even started at are school." i said, if i would be able to go back to the past and change stuff. Miguel's accident would probably be one of the first things on my list.
Demetri hm's in response.
"I don't know how i would've reacted to you suddenly showing up with a whole new look without any explanation."
"probably shity like last time"
"you're probably right, i wasn't so accepting of you, I really should have tho it was one of the things that made you choose miguel over me" he says looking down.
"that and his cute face" i say grinning at him, that makes demetri laugh.
"yeah i definitely didn't stand a chance against him in that category with his breath taking face and all" he says sarcastically, i gave him a playful shove. "shut up you idiot"
Demetri smirks and gave me a shove back.
"i remember the first time you came out to me, i thought one hundred percent that i was your pan awakening." he looks at my horrified expression and then he started to ramble out an explanation "i know crazy right, I was a fool, I had such a big ego. I really thought you were coming out just so you could confess your feelings for me. I always wanted to be the one pepole picked out of the two of us, the more attractive and smart one.... I truly thought i was more important than you. It wasn't until miguel sat down at are table and picked you to hang out with instead of me. I took you for granted thinking no one would be friends with you other than me, i thought you'd always do what i wanted and i never needed to do what you wanted.....and miguel gave me a reality check when he took you away from me....i didn't want you to have other friends then me so when you became popular, i wanted to ruin that for you, so i told everyone about your secret, i was thinking if everyone knew they'd leave you behind and you'd have no choice but to crawl back to me. But they didn't if anything they just accepted it and moved on. I just blamed you for are fall out saying that you were the problem of are friendship, but in reality i was probably the biggest problem.I just didn't want to realize how bad of a friend i was to you. I always make everything about myself.
I was also a bad friend to miguel i kept telling him to give up on stuff that was so rude of me." he broke for air. taking in long puffs of air before speaking again." i guess what I really want to say is I'm sorry for being such a bad friend"
Woah that was a lot to take in. He was looking at me for a response but i couldn't say anything. I didn't know he was secretly thinking about me in this way, what a bitch honestly.
"you deserved that drink over your head honestly"
"yeah i probably did"
"but you didn't deserve the other stuff i did to you I'm sorry about that and for being a bad friend" i looked at him "and demetri i forgive you as long as you don't think that anymore" i glared.
"i dont, i promise"
I could hear my phone call, it was my mom she was probably wondering if I'm on my way back. Which i really should be by now.
"good, but i really have to go my mom is calling me, probably cuz i told her I'd eat at home today so she's stressing me to get back." i say showing my phone as proof. Demetri nodded and let out a
disappointed comment. "oh, well, drive safe"
"i will see you tomorrow"
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I was driving back home now only stopping when the light turned red, it was always boring having to wait for the light to turn green again. So i decided to take that time to think.
Hmm what else would i have changed in the past?
Well it would have been easier to confess my feelings for miguel if I'd known he was bi before he started dating sam.
The light turned green and i started to drive again.
"WATCH OUT THE TRUCK DRIVER IS OUT OF CONTROL!!" I didn't understand until it was to late, the truck slammed right into me i could feel myself fly off the road. I can't feel anything else but the massive headache, the last thing i heard was one of the people screaming" call 911!! "....and that's the last thing.... before everything turned...... black.?
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MIGUEL pov
"shut up robby mind you're business!!" i shouted at him.
"i'm just asking, you guys seam super close these days" he says with a disgusting smirk on his face!
"yuh and it's none of your fucking business!! What are you even doing in my room!?"i shouted and grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, he catches it easily and threw it right back at me which embarrassingly i don't catch, it slammed right in my face....
"cause I'm bored and your mom isn't done with the food yet, so i thought I'd bother you" he said giveing me an smug look. " i fucking hate you" i hissed at him he's so annoying!!
"see this is much more fun than watching TV with my dad" he laughed amused by my suffering!
Fuck this I'm going to the living room!
I walked out of my room without telling him. "hey! Where are you going?" he shouted from my room."heeey wait for me dick" he says now by my door.
I rolled my eyes and walked away, i stop halfway seeing both my mom and johnny on the couch. They looked shocked by something on the tv.
"hey why the long faces?" i asked looking at the tv, it was the news, it was something about a truck accident. "shit that's not very far from where demetri lives"
"what happened?" asked robby sitting down on the couch i took a seat too.
"someone on a motorcycle got hit by a truck on the way home, it was an awful accident they don't know if the person is going to make it or not" mom says, she was covering her mouth in shock.
"we're waiting to see who the people involved in the accident is" johnny says looking better than my mom but still shocked. "their thinking the truck driver did it on purpose, that's messed up"
*and we're back with an update from the seen with Robertson, please tell us all you've gathered from the accident. *
*well it's not a happy update I'll tell you that, well first things first the truck driver has been taken into custody he suffered no injuries and therefore in the police station being questioned.*
*ok do we have any news about the victim Robertson? *
* ah yes we do, right now the fire department are trying to get the boy untangled from the broken motorcycle-*
*boy?! It was a boy *
"a boy!" we all say at the same time.
*yes the victim has been confirmed to be around the age of 16-18 years old, we still don't know the real age of the boy. for the fire department have still not been able to get the ID out of the tangled mess of the motorcycle. Well that's unfortunately all the news we have of the accident so far, back to you hansen*
*i sure hope the fire department get to him soon, so he can get the help he needs. It's just awful how cruel this world can be, well I'm sorry for the not so happy update but that's all we have from the accident. *
"omg thats awful" mom says.
"yeah that's-" i was Interrupted by the sound of my phone calling. It was hawks mom why was she calling me? I answered it.
"hello?"
"hello miguel it's Mrs moskowitz. I was just wondering if eli stopped by your place"
"um no why?"
"well he was at demetris place earlier today, but he was supposed to be home by dinner tonight. and he texted me that he was on his way home but he hasn't showed up yet or responded to my texts. So i was just thinking maybe he had dropped by your place for a bit and just forgot about the time? " my heart sank and I could feel myself start to panic, the... The... Boy.... In the accident.... Is hawk.
" ok bye "i hung up on Mrs moskowitz and dropped my phone on the floor. i could feel myself hyperventilating i was light-headed, it felt like there was no air left in this room for me. My heart was beating so fast it was hurting me.
" miguel! What's happening?! "someone said i couldn't hear who it was because of the ringing in my ears." miguel" someone placed a hand on my back.
Hawk was dying on the street, cause the fire department can't untangle him from his broken bike. Hawk was dying.....
"miguel please calm down your going to pass out if you don't slow down your breathing" i finally looked at who was there it was my mom, she looks so worried.
I was trying to force myself to speak but "h.. Awk.." was all i could get out.
I pointed a shaky hand to the tv trying to get my mom to understand. "hawk.... Accident" i felt tears fall down my face.
And like a fucking joke my worst fear was proven right, when the news started up again.
*hello we're back with some news about the accident tell us what you've gathered Robertson*
*yes thank you, the boys ID has been found and he's on his way to the hospital after being untangled, the boy is 17 year old eli moskowitz as of now we have no idea if he'll make it.*
"fuck they have to be joking that's not true!" robby says
*let's send are hopes and prayers for him and his family*
*yes all we can do now is hope for the best *
I hugged my mom and broke down crying.
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We arrived at the hospitals waiting room where hawks mom and demetri's family were already waiting for updates.
I walked up to demetri who was sitting on one of the hospitals waiting rooms chairs.
"hey" i say, he looked up at me like he just realized my arrival. "oh hey miguel" he says, He looks so tired. I guess we're all tired robby was still trying to convince himself that it wasn't hawk and johnny was trying to comfort him and my mom was talking to hawks and demetri's mom's.
I saw Mrs moskowitz hug and cry into my mom's arms.
My mom was hugging her And comforting her as best she could.
"how long do you think we'll have to wait?"
I asked demetri who sniffles and dries his eyes with his shirt before he speaks. "he's in surgery now so I'll take a wild guess and say it'll take a while" he said
"right" i took a seat next to him.
"he'll be fine right"he asked, i looked at demetri this is the part where I'm supposed to say" of course he'll make it! it's hawk we're talking about!" but i really couldn't, i broke down again right next to him.
The whole accident was on YouTube some guy filmed it all, he had blurred the most gruesome parts but you could still see how much of a terrible accident it was.
*yooo look at that guy's cool bike *
*oooh sweet ride!*
*holy shit!! That truck is out of control!
WATCH OUT THE TRUCK DRIVER IS OUT OF CONTROL!!*
The guys tried to get hawks attention to late and they filmed hawk gating hit by that truck. *HOLEY SHIT CALL 911!!*
The video was filled with worried comments.
"i don't know dem" i told him, my answer pushed demetri over the breaking point.
He started to cry and he hugged me sobbing into my shoulder.
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After five hours in the waiting room a doctor came to talk with Mrs moskowitz.
From the look on her face it wasn't good news, but it didn't seem to be bad news either.
After she was done talking, she went over to my mom and demetri's mom oh and johnny.
Johnny was walking over to us.
"well the good news is he's alive but he's in a coma, and he suffered a brain bleed and multiple organ failures and now he can't breathe on his own, so he has a bunch of tubes helping him breathe" johnny says, johnny looked at us and sighs. "but the doctors said we could go see him if we wanted to" he gave us a sad smile.
I nodded and got up from my seat, demetri followed right after.
We started walking to his hospital room.
Hawk was laying there lifeless, he couldn't breathe on his own, the only thing keeping him alive was a machine. everything suddenly felt so real now, my heart felt so emty. It was like all the life had been squeezed out of it, i felt so numb now all i wanted to do was cry but i couldn't.
Was this how hawk felt when i was the one laying in the hospital bed? So numb that he couldn't even cry anymore?
"they shaved off his hair" i pointed out,
He was finally able to Style it back to the mohawk again, he'll be so sad if he wakes up and realizes it's gone.
"he won't like that, he loves his hair" demetri says, he was so happy when he realized he was able to make a small mohawk, he had even sent a selfie in the group chat, with a message saying *look i have a baby hawk now!!* in the middle of the karate war, that's how excited he was to have the mohawk back. And now it's gone.
"no he won't like it" i agreed with demetri.
I walked up to the bed and placed my hand on he's forearm, i looked down on him.
"please don't die, i... I love you" i could feel everyone's eyes on me from the back of my neck, I could feel my eyes watering again. So i wiped my Tears away with my shirt sleeve and turned around.
I quickly walk out of the room, i couldn't be in there anymore. I didn't make it to the waiting rooms chairs, instead i slumped down on the floor by the entrance. And broke down, i just cried until i couldn't anymore i was all dried up.
I was leaning against the wall, i was hugging my knees, i could hear footsteps approaching.
"hey" demetri said as he sat down next to me. "do you... Do you really love him?"
"......Yeah"
"well.... I'm not... supposed to say this.... But... He loves you too. And i think he would have wanted you to know that."
"really?"
"yeah"