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Orange and pink hues reflected beautifully onto the body of water, showing off the cascading colors and elements that the environment had to offer. Ash shook his golden blonde hair, releasing the pebbles of water dribbling off the ends of his locs.
“Eiji you gotta try this! I swear you won’t regret it.”
“Ash…you know we have rivers in Japan…right?”
“Yeah…yeah I know that but the rivers in new york are different…because–”
“Oh, move so I can get in.”
Eiji backed up a couple of steps to prepare for the launching of his body into the vast body of water. As he jumped in he so badly wanted to keep his eyes open to see Ash’s reaction to his bold choice of action, but he was met with a splash of water coming from the exact source he was trying to impress. His eyes squinted shut as he was met with the hard wham, breaking the surface tension of the water.
“ASH?!? You could have killed me?? What was that for?”
“I thought it would be funny,” he said with a sheepish look on his face.
“And besides you look cute when you squint.” he sarcastically sent air kisses in his direction.
The night continued to be filled with their laughter and dumb conversations as they naturally lost track of time. The sky had turned from a beautiful cascade of colors to a dark black, blanketing the night sky. Ash uttered,
“You can’t see stars like this in the city.”
“I’m sure. The city lights are your stars though, right?”
“Nah. There’s this new thing that became my night star. I like that one much better.”
“Oh really? And what is this wonderful star?” Eiji shakes his hands in a sarcastic manner.
“It’s not like it is a star it’s just…you can see the stars in it. Does that make sense?”
“Not much. Although 99% of the time what you Americans say doesn’t, so this isn’t anything new.”
The two throw their heads back laughing but are quickly stopped by Ash’s remark, interrupting the peace they were beginning to approach.
“Imma go grab something real quick. Be right back!”
–
Ash returns with his hands full of sodas and snacks only to be met with a muffled yell of his name,
“A– ASH. AAASH”
Ash dropped everything he had gathered and time froze. Eiji out in the deep end of the water. The chirping of the birds. The sway of the current. The crunch and clang of the items he had let go of. The wind blowing through his hair. Time stopped and the fear began. Like a catalyst, he lurched forward diving into the water and arranging his hands in a swimming position to swim to his drowning target. Usually, when he’s in intense fights everything is fast-paced. The bullets, the noises, everything lasts mere seconds, even if it’s minutes in reality. This was different. Ash couldn’t put his finger on why but it was like there were weights on his legs and the distance between him and Eiji was growing. He grabbed onto Eiji’s ankles, made a quick gesture to pull him to his own chest, and carried both of their weights to the surface. Eiji hung on until Ash made it to a shallow end of the river where he began to cough up the water that had entered his body. Ash carried Eiji with such grace and delicateness in fear that any rough touch from someone like him would ruin his perfect skin.
That’s how most of their relationship was illustrated. If Ash was a lynx cat then Eiji was a lotus flower, blowing in the breeze, too beautiful and distracted to notice the lynx’s growing desire to admire its beauty more upfront. Ash always did his best to never make Eiji uncomfortable but just this time – he couldn’t help himself. His arms rapidly wrapped around Eiji’s back, bringing him closer to his ribcage. Eiji, shocked by both the situation and Ash’s rash actions, calmed himself by listening to the rhythmic beating of Ash’s heart. He began to think, for the people around Ash that claimed to know his heart best, had they ever heard the rhythm it actually beats in? Did they ever know the warm feeling it emits and the way his chest so easily rises and falls as it pumps? He figured the answer to both of those questions was no. It was then that he realized, the moon might hold some stars closer to it than others. Does the moon have a favorite star?
“EIJI? What were you thinking? You scared the life out of me?”
“I– I’m sorry Ash I thought I could swim out further and the current caught up to–”
“I was about to lose my star. My favorite star. Out of all the New York City lights and every star placed in the sky, I was about to lose mine,” Eiji was right. But oh the consequences that would bring.
“You are the only evidence that God might actually love someone like me. You aren’t literally the star but your eyes, your actions, they emit the star. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before, but the actual image of losing you made my heart freeze. Don’t do that again, p– please.”
Ash’s voice was breaking up and Eiji watched as his tears glistened as they fell. He was speechless. But more than any feeling he was feeling, fear trumped them all. Fear of what would happen next. Eiji might have been a little clueless at times but he knew better than to be oblivious to the obvious danger Ash imposes on him and vice versa.
“I’m by your side, Ash. I’m here. And I’m sorry.”
–
Ash sat himself down in the library he knew all too well. He pulled out the blood-stained papers that Eiji had left for him and read every last word, as his eyes glazed over the last few words “You’re not alone. I’m by your side. My soul is always with you.” Ash cried. The strongest figure, the most unbreakable man, let his walls down and cried. Regardless of him knowing that he could always save Eiji from any danger like that night he almost lost him, Ash knew that he invited Eiji to the river that night. And similarly, Ash invited Eiji into his life. And rebuking that invitation might be the only thing to keep Eiji safe, and that was all Ash really ever wanted. He knew the wound wasn’t in a fatal spot and if he asked for help he could have gotten it, but letting his life end here was his best calculation for giving Eiji a good life. He would give him his all, even if it meant cutting the strings that tied them together. Ash breathily muttered out,
“Promise me you'll find me in the stars, Eiji.”