Work Text:
Lain stumbled towards the faint glow. She shuffled her feet over the uneven floorboards and ran her hand along the wall to keep herself oriented. With each step into the dark, she felt her stomach lurch. She imagined that the next step or the one after that might not be onto floor at all, but rather some abyss. She imagined herself falling endlessly. She imagined this so vividly she began to feel dizzy and had to adjust her weight towards the wall so she didn’t fall. A nail below her foot reminded her of the task at hand and the slow trudge continued. When she finally reached the light, after what felt like forever, she realized it was, in fact, a door.
A moment of hesitation passed before she pushed it open. She was met by the familiar glow of a Navi, just one, sitting on a desk opposite the door. She stood in the doorway, staring it down, before speaking.
“I don’t want to go back.” Her voice echoed in the otherwise empty room.
“Don’t be silly.” A voice answered. It could have come from anywhere, and in fact it came from everywhere. Her hair vibrated besides her ear. “You don’t belong in this world.”
“Then why am I here?” She replied.
“You could be happier.” It called out. “You could be connected.”
“Why did you give me a body?” Her eyes darted to every corner of the room, anywhere away from the screen. “Why should I have one if I don’t belong here?” It looked, from an outside perspective, like she was looking for the source of the voice.
“It was necessary. But now you can go home.”
“Why would you do this?” She asked weakly. “I have never felt at home. I will never have a home. I feel wrong with a body and I feel wrong without one.” She sank to the floor and held her hands out in front of her. She stared at them as she slowly turned them over.
The voice had gone quiet, as though it was watching her. Lain raised her eyes to the ceiling. “You’re not God. You just wanted to play god and look what you’ve done!”
The ground opened up under her and she was falling. Falling, falling, falling.
She sat upright. She was alone. Her chest was tight, she found it hard to breathe, and she had the unsettling feeling that it wouldn’t get any easier.