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Kel sat on the edge of the dock, the oh so familiar sights causing him to close his eyes, trying to block out the bittersweet memories of his youth, to no avail. For a second, he can hear the shouts and laughter of him and his friends from before Mari... passed. He shakes his head, and the sounds are all gone. All he hears is the slight rustling of leaves in the gentle wind. He sighs, knowing that he'll never get to truthfully hear any of that again.
Ever since that day, the day that was supposed to be so happy, things hadn't been the same. For any of them. But Kel tried. Kel tried so hard to stay the same, to be one thing that stayed constant. He had always been nothing but smiles and laughs, why would that change now? Sure, everyone else changed beyond recognizability, but that didn't mean he had to. In fact, it just encouraged him to be the same old Kel he was before the day of the recital. Before the day they saw Mari, swinging in the wind, hung from a tree. Before Sunny locked himself in his house, before Basil ran away from a simple "hello," before Aubrey would snap at everyone and everything. Before Hero, his big brother, the one he could always go to for support and advice, became a shell of who he used to be.
Shaking his head again, Kel drew himself out of the spiral he had caught himself in. He was here for a reason, after all, not just to sit around and feel bad for himself. He looked down into the water at his reflection, dipping a hand in and distorting it. He paused, watching the water settle again, and thought about what had brought him there in the first place...
Kel walked into the bedroom he shared with his older brother, a plate of food in his hands. He had just come up from having a silent dinner with his parents, and, as Hero had not come down to eat with them, Kel did what he had been doing practically every day for almost a year. And, even though Hero would barely acknowledge him on a good day, Kel liked to think that he noticed some of the food gone the next morning. But today, Kel decided that he did not want to see Hero like this for a moment longer. He sat on the edge of his brother's bed, pausing slightly before speaking.
"Hey, Hero.."
No response. Kel, not surprised but still slightly disappointed, continues to talk.
"We all miss you. I know things have been... hard for you. And I get it. But... You can't stay like this forever, y'know."
Hero shifts slightly under his blankets. Kel sighs, clenching his fists slightly but continuing to talk, his desperation increasing.
"People are worried about you. They have been for awhile now. Mama and Papa especially. We know you need time, but it's been a year. I know you miss her, we all do, but please, Hero..."
Kel doesn't know what else to say. Tears well up in his eyes while he tries to think of something, anything to convince his brother to get out of bed... Maybe, just maybe...
"Mari wouldn't want to see you like this, Hero. She wouldn't want you to rot in here."
Kel felt the weight on the bed shift, and he quickly stood up, smiling hopefully at his brother. Had it worked, was Hero finally getting out of bed? He saw Hero stand up, leaving the mound of blankets for one of the first times since Mari's death.
His hopes were quickly shattered when he saw the expression on Hero's face. He was angry, no, furious. He glared at Kel, the tears in his eyes shining slightly.
"How would you know what Mari would've wanted? How could any of us? She's dead, Kel. Dead. And we'll never get to hear what she wants, ever again." Hero's tone is uncharacteristically harsh, venom practically seething from him in a way that Kel had never seen, or even thought possible for his older brother.
"Hero, I didn't mean-"
"I don't care what you meant. Why should you get to speak on what Mari would've wanted. You never cared about her."
"That's not true! I loved Mari, we all did..." Kel's voice was small, and for once, quiet. Everything about him felt small, defeated. He felt tears sting at his eyes, but he quickly blinked them back. He was terrified of Hero in this moment... No, surely this wasn't Hero. Hero wouldn't do, wouldn't say any of this, right..?
"I loved Mari. I loved her, more than anything. But now... She's dead. She's dead, but maybe if I hadn't been so distracted picking up after you, maybe if you fucking grew up and learnt to take care of yourself like everyone your age could, then maybe I could've had more time for her. Maybe I would've noticed that she needed help. Maybe... Maybe she wouldn't be dead. But it's too late. It's too fucking late now. Because I was so busy taking care of you, I wasn't able to give her the support she needed. And now she's dead." Hero let out a loud sob, tears falling down his face as he yelled at his little brother, who had now sunken to the ground with his back against his bed, burying his face in his knees.
Kel was trying to ignore everything Hero was saying about him, but with how the words were practically getting screamed at him, it was hard. Kel didn't respond, simply sitting there, crying and waiting for Hero to stop.
"You always just make everything worse. If it weren't for you, I could've helped Mari. Everyone would've been better off if you had died instead of Mari."
Silence. For one, painfully long moment, silence. Then, Hero collapsed to the floor, sobbing. Their parents rushed in at the noise, instantly running to Hero's side. Their mom held him, whispering quiet comforts to him, and their dad kneeled next to her, rubbing Hero's back. Kel didn't get anything from them, outside of a small angry glance from their mom. They completely ignored him in favor of Hero. No surprise there, but it still hurt.
Suddenly, Kel stood up. It felt like his body was moving on auto-pilot, and he was just a spectator. Even so, he continued to move towards and out of the door, ignoring a shout of "You get back here, young man!" from his mother. He went down the stairs, breaking into a run once he had stepped down from the last stair, sprinting out the door and onto their driveway. He ran down the street, not sure where his final destination was, but determined to get as far away from his house as possible.
Eventually, he came to a halt in Faraway Park. More specifically, right by where the entrance to the old secret hangout was. He took in a shaky breath, and it felt nice, almost like he hadn't been breathing since Hero started yelling. He stood there for a minute, catching his breath, before turning his attention back to what was right in front of him. After a moment's hesitation, he pushed through the bushes, their thorns scraping at his skin, but he barely even noticed. Once he was through, he sighed again, looking around and walking to the dock, sitting down at the edge.
And that's how he ended up here. He clenched his fists, sighing shakily as he stared into the lake. He felt another tear roll down his cheek, and he hastily raised one of his hands to wipe it away. His mind kept repeating what Hero told him. Did he really mean all of that..? Surely not, right?
Who was he kidding, of course he did. Hero hated him. And Kel can't blame him. He's been thinking those same things about himself for a while now... Almost a year. He was a nuisance, a burden, a horrible friend, and everything would be better if he was dead. It was simple, really.
And it was that last thought that was the reason he was out here in the first place, staring into the water. Even though he knows it was probably ice cold, it looked inviting. He knew that nothing was stopping him from jumping in, and nothing was stopping him from never coming back up again. He didn't know if he was scared of the thought or not. It didn't matter, though. It's not like he had much time to be scared anyway.
He stood up, and when he did so he was reminded of the fact that he had socks on. No shoes, since he didn't think to put them on while running out the door. But he was already wearing socks before then. He sighed, taking them off and tossing them onto a nearby patch of dirt. He stared at them for a second. Was that really all he wanted to leave? He didn't have any pockets, so he didn't have anything else he could place next to them. But if that was all they saw, whoever they would be, then would they even know what had happened to him? Or would they think that he had just gone for a swim, and his death would be remembered as a tragic accident?
He didn't entirely know why, but he hated the idea of that. He wanted it to be clear what had happened, not something forever left to speculation. Suddenly, he noticed a branch next to the patch of dirt his socks lied in. He walked over to it, picking it up and examining it. It was thin, but not too thin that it would snap. Perfect for what he needed. He kneeled down in the dirt, scratching behind a messy note then stuck the stick upright in the dirt next to it. It wasn't long, but it was enough for what he wanted to convey. Hopefully now, there would be no question as to what had happened to Kelsey García, and he grinned as he looked back over what he had written into the dirt. A simple, messy, "Goodbye. -K." Hopefully, that would be enough, as long as it didn't rain. Not like he would be around to know or care either way.
A slight smile on his face, he walked back to the edge of the dock. He took a deep breath, trying to combat his increasing anxiety. He had decided to do this, and he was planning to follow through on it. He sighed again. Was this really how he wanted to die? That didn't matter. What he wanted didn't matter, he was doing this for the benefit of everyone else. Like Hero said, he only ever made things worse. So, wasn't he just doing them a favor? That's how he wanted to think about it, at least. He took another step forward. One more step, and he'd finally be free. He took another deep breath, and...
Kel froze in place as he heard the leaves behind him rustling. They had been making quiet noises the whole time he'd been there, but never anything like that. He didn't know what it was. For all he knew, it could just be a wild animal, or even the wind. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't any of those things. Maybe Hero had ran out looking for him, and decided to check their old hangout. If it was Hero, Kel didn't want to turn around to look. But he also couldn't make himself take the final step. He felt like he couldn't move. So he just silently prepared himself for whatever Hero had to say, trying to think of anything but the truth to tell him.
What he wasn't prepared for was to hear a familiar feminine voice call out, "...Kel?"
It took him a few moments to process what he heard. First thing he realized; that was not Hero. Second thing; that was Aubrey. He was extremely confused, and for a moment he was relieved that it wasn't Hero, but then another wave of anxiety washed over him when he realized that he would now have to explain this to Aubrey instead. He wasn't sure which one he'd rather face. Despite that, he found the courage to slowly turn back to face her. The first thing he noticed about her was her bright pink hair. Weird, the last time he'd seen her, she had gone blonde...
"Aubrey?! What are you doing here?" Kel called back out to her, wanting to hopefully ask her some questions before she could get hers in.
"I could ask you the same thing, dipshit! Why the fuck are you here?"
Okay, it seems his plan... didn't quite work. But that's okay.
"Hey, I asked you first! So you need to answer me before you start asking questions!"
Aubrey sighed in frustration, almost rolling her eyes at how... childish Kel was acting. "It's none of your business, Kel," she practically spat out, her tone harsh and defensive.
Despite her anger, Kel couldn't help but notice slight tears in the corners of her eyes... It could just be the light, but it still concerned him. Pushing aside any thoughts of himself, he stepped closer to her, tilting his head slightly.
"You look upset, Aubs-'
"Don't call me that."
"Fine, Aubrey," Kel let out a small chuckle at that, and for a moment, it was like they were kids again, bickering over every small thing. It felt bittersweet, but that wasn't important right now. "You still look upset though. You sure you can't tell me why?"
"Yes. I'm sure. I'll be fine, and even if I'm not, this doesn't fucking involve you. So just leave me alone. Why are you even out here in the first place?"
"For one, I was here first, so you should be the one leaving, if anything. And two, if you won't tell me, why should I tell you?" Kel knew it'd be best not to push her for details on why she was upset, for now, at least.
"Fine. You be like that. You don't have to tell me, but I'm going to find out."
"Or you could make this easier for the both of us and just tell me why you're upse-"
"No."
The two stood there, tense silence overtaking them for a moment, before Aubrey walked past Kel, looking around the lake. Kel tensed, waiting for... whatever her reaction would be when she pieced together what he had been doing. The time he spent standing there felt both like an eternity and mere seconds, but either way, he eventually heard her again.
"What does that even say..?" Kel could hear Aubrey whispering to herself. Admittedly, it was fairly sloppy, but he thought it was see least legible. Maybe it'd be better if it wasn't... Unfortunately for him, Aubrey eventually was able to read it.
"'Goodbye'..." Aubrey turned to look at Kel, any anger previously on her face completely disappearing. "Kel, please... Tell me you weren't going to..." She can't even finish the sentence, the idea of losing another friend overwhelming her. But when Kel didn't deny her suspicion, she ran towards where he was standing. Kel wasn't sure what she was going to do, but he tried to brace himself for it. What he wasn't expecting her to do was for her to suddenly embrace Kel, holding onto him like a lifeline.
Kel froze in place, not sure what to do or how to respond. "...Aubrey..? What are you-"
"I can't lose you too. Not after everything... Please, Kel." Aubrey's voice was suddenly quiet, a stark contrast to earlier. Kel didn't know what to do. His first instinct was to try to comfort her, to tell her he was okay, but he knew she would see right through him. And he just didn't have the energy to lie to her right now.
"I'm sorry..."
"You don't have to apologize. I'm not mad at you."
"You shouldn't have seen me like this. You weren't supposed to be here."
"That doesn't matter, because I am here. And I'm not going to leave until I'm sure you're okay."
"You don't have to-"
"I'm going to. I don't care that I don't have to, I'd rather stay here with you for days than lose you. So, could you tell me what's wrong?" Aubrey pulled away from the hug slowly, and she grabbed Kel's hand, leading him away from the lake. She sat down by a tree, and Kel did the same. He leaned against her slightly, and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder in response. For a minute, neither of them talked, and they just stayed in a comfortable silence.
Eventually though, Aubrey broke the silence with one word, "...Why?" Though a simple question, the answer was a lot less simple for Kel. When she said it, he froze again, unsure of what to say. Thinking about it now, he wasn't entirely sure himself...
"I..." Kel hesitated. He knew that he'd have to answer the question, but he didn't know where to start. Did he start with the fight he had with Hero? No... He had been feeling like this ever since Mari died. It's just that, he was given a reason to act on it tonight. Kel took a deep breath, before continuing to talk. "Being honest... I'm not entirely sure myself. But, I've kind of been feeling like... this for a while now. After Mari..." He paused, not wanting to say it out loud, "After she passed, everything has been... I don't know, everything's been changing. You, Basil, Sunny, Hero... You all changed so much. And, I just... wanted to stay the same. So I kinda just pushed everything down. But, in doing so, I also pushed you away. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't want to make things worse... And, I'm really sorry about that. I made new friends through basketball, but they weren't the same. They weren't you guys."
As he spoke, he felt tears start to sting at his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. Aubrey noticed, and pulled him closer to herself. She felt horrible for everything she had said to Kel. He was mourning, just like they all were. And she had been so mean to him for 'moving on too fast.'
After a few moments, Kel continued to speak, "And, uh, since then... Things have just been getting worse. I thought, as time passes, things would get better. But they haven't. Sunny still won't come out... And Hero..." Kel's voice trailed off while he thought about his big brother. "I think he blames himself. Ever since... He never got out of bed. He would barely eat, or do anything, really. It... It was horrible. I was scared that he would... end up like Mari. And I wanted to do everything I could to stop that from happening. Tonight, I tried talking to him, and I told him that Mari wouldn't want to see him like... like that." His voice shook, and he balled his fists, staring into the distance. "He... He got out of bed, but... He started yelling at me. I don't really remember a lot of what he said, heh, but at the end, he said he... he said he wished that... I died instead of Mari..."
Tears had started rolling down his cheeks, and he leaned more against Aubrey's shoulder. A quiet sob escaped from him, and he turned to face Aubrey, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her shoulder. She quickly hugged him back, gently stroking his hair and just letting him cry.
Suddenly, there was another rustling sound coming from the bushes they would use as an entrance. After a few seconds, in which both Kel and Aubrey were frozen in place, Hero shoved his way through them, appearing to the younger two. It took him a few moments to spot them, but when he did, a look of both relief and guilt crossed over his face.
"Kel! Oh, thank goodness you're here." Hero ran over to his younger brother, pulling him up and embracing him. Kel seemed to freeze when Hero hugged him, but after a few moments, he hugged him back, crying into his shoulder.
While that was happening, Aubrey stood up as well, crossing her arms and glaring at Hero. It had been a while since she'd seen him, and tonight she has found out why. She couldn't help but notice how... sickly, almost, he looked. But that wasn't what was important here. Right now, the only thing that mattered was that Kel was okay, and that was a sentiment that seemed to be shared by Hero.
Eventually, the two brothers broke the hug. When they did, Hero was the first to speak again. "Kel... What were you doing... here?"
Kel seemed to freeze up again. He didn't want to tell Hero what he had been trying to do, and he was trying his best to think of a believable lie. "Uh... I just... needed some fresh air... And this is where I went. I'm not sure, I was just kinda running to run, heh..."
Aubrey wanted to contradict that, to yell at Hero that they could've lost Kel because of what he said, that Kel didn't just 'need fresh air.' But then, Kel turned back to Aubrey, an almost pleading look in his eyes. Aubrey sighed. She knew that, as much as she wanted to scream the truth at Hero, it just wasn't her place to tell him.
"Well, anyways, we should probably be getting back. Mama and Papa are probably worried about you," Hero said, ruffling Kel's hair slightly.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." If Aubrey saw Kel roll his eyes, she didn't mention it, beyond a slight chuckle. She smiled at Kel and outstretched her hand to him.
"Friends?"
Kel smiled warmly at her. He grabbed her hand, shaking it quickly before pulling her into a tight hug, half-whispering to her, "We always have been." Aubrey hugged him back, before the two of them had to part as well.
Kel waved goodbye to her enthusiastically. "See ya around, Aubs!" She couldn't help but laugh as she waved back. Nothing was fixed yet, but she had a feeling that this was a good first step.