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The world for Tallulah was quiet. She liked it when it was quiet. The only noise she welcomed and appreciated were the melodic strums of her papa’s guitar as he practiced for shows on his upcoming tours. He just came back for a little bit of time in between traveling to a place he called America, and now he was getting ready to perform in summer festivals. Tallulah so desperately wanted to go with him and see the world, but Wilbur knew all too well that he couldn’t take his amapola with him, no matter how much it broke his heart.
Wilbur slowly began to repack his vintage leather suitcase, neatly folding button-down shirts and patterned polos with black and navy trousers. Tallulah walked in, a visible pout on her face. She sat beside her papa and pulled out her whiteboard, scribbling some words before she tapped Wilbur’s shoulder.
“Do you have to leave, Papi? I don’t want you to leave again.”
“Awh, Tallulah, I-” Wilbur didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t want to be mean to his daughter, but he knew he had to perform with his band. He was the face of it, the lead singer, the star of the show. “I have to leave, but I’ll always come back. I promise. I’ll get you something from every place I go to, okay? I promise.” Wilbur put both of his pinky fingers in the air, initiating a pinky promise. He taught Tallulah that these were especially important because a pinky promise was more than a promise; it was a vow.
“Once both pinkies are entwined, an unbreakable promise, an unbreakable vow is created. The universe sees that, the stars see that, and they make sure to hold us accountable to this promise.”
Tallulah tried her best to smile, even though her heart was slowly sinking down to her toes. She hated when her Dad left. Bad things always happened and she was scared. As much as she loved to be with Chayanne and Phil, everything was more peaceful when Wilbur was around. Tallulah thought that Wilbur was reminiscent of an anchor, someone who grounded Quesadilla Island so it would not descend into the chaos and mayhem that it always seemed to when he left.
“Are you sure you’ll come back, Papa?” Tallulah wrote on the sign.
“Have I not returned to the island every time I left?” Wilbur responded, lightly chuckling as he picked up his daughter, holding her in his arms, as the little girl, his universe, smiled.
“No. You’ve always come back,” Tallulah wrote once again, as Wilbur’s point was proven.
“Tallulah, listen,” he whispered, setting his daughter on his lap, “I will always come back to you. You have the best people on this island taking care of you, you got everyone helping out and making sure that you are safe and taken care of so when I come back, we can play the night away and play for Panchito and the turtles. I may be far away, but you’ll be here in my heart. Always.” Tallulah smiled that all-too-familiar toothy grin, her dragon fangs showing as she quietly giggled happily. Her purple eyes glowed as sunlight poured into Wilbur’s room. She felt at ease now.
Everything would be okay.
Wilbur would leave, then come back. He always came back, right?
***
When Wilbur left the house, Tallulah ran after him, her tiny feet pressing into the tickly blades of grass beneath her. She called out to Wil and asked for one last hug before he left. Surely, it was past Tallulah’s bedtime and mobs were scouring the island, but Tallulah didn’t care. She wanted her Papi to give her one last hug.
“Wait, Papa!” She called out, tugging onto Wilbur’s tan trenchcoat. The man paused and turned around, a fearful look painted across his face.
“Tallulah, please can you go back inside. It’s for your own good. There are bad people out here, mobs and egg hunters. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“But I wanted one more hug, one last hug,” Tallulah pouted, her beady and exhausted eyes seeming to well up with tears that slowly trickled down her face. “I’m scared I’ll never see you again. The world’s gotten worse.”
“Lulah, sunshine, listen to me very closely. You are strong, and you are the very fabric holding this world together. You’re the angel that this island needs right now. You are the light. I’m gonna come back, the universe will make sure of that. Nothing is gonna happen. If you want Phil to come and tuck you back in, I can let him know, so head back inside where it’s safe, okay? I’ll talk to you when I can.”
“D-Do you have to go?” Wilbur sighed, as he sat with Tallulah on the riverbank.
“Unfortunately, I do. But I’m always gonna be back. I’m not a deadbeat, leaving you high and dry. I’m not that type of person. You got everyone on the island taking care of you. You will make it through. I’m still going to write when I can, but if not, I’m sure I can call Phil, provided the old man has his ringer on,” Wilbur and Tallulah chuckled.
“Also have to make sure to call before his bedtime too,” Tallulah responded as Wilbur laughed. She was his daughter, making fun of Phil and how ancient he was.
“Good one, Lulah! Now, head inside, you can’t be seen by these monsters out here.” Tallulah nodded and gave Wilbur one last big hug. He held the embrace a little longer, her heartbeat syncing with his own, as he planted a soft and gentle kiss on Tallulah’s forehead, patting her wavy auburn hair in the garnet beanie.
Tallulah went inside the house as Wilbur left the island once more.
She soon realized how much worse things were without Wilbur as soon as her head hit the pillow.
The room was dark and seemed to stretch beyond the parameters of what her room was supposed to be. A liminal space formed from the deepest depths of hell. The darkness was a vortex of inky black that consumed every corner and absorbed every sound that hollowly traversed down the corridors.
Tallulah sat up and looked around. Her bed was against a wall, or was it? The wall extended so far out she could fall onto the floor, but even that too seemed to go on for all eternity.
“Papa?” She called out, empty hopes clutched onto a response, but all she got was a chorus of echoes in response. She sat up, and noticed a figure at the beginning of this void, its silhouette drenched in black. It stood still as though it were a statue, beckoning the little girl to come closer without ever uttering a single word.
The silhouette was tall, just like Wilbur was. It appeared to be wearing a trenchcoat that billowed in the stale breeze of this space. As Tallulah walked, the world she was in seemed to morph with every stride, disorienting her tired eyes. Her timid footsteps resonated eerily, as she felt herself fall deeper into this rabbit hole.
This wasn’t the Wonderland she and Wilbur read about, this was Hell.
Tallulah fell, but she never hit the ground. An odd sensation that was. Throughout it all, the shadow figure never moved, forever stuck in the position they were in. It scared Tallulah a bit, knowing this. She felt herself get closer, but the void pulled her away.
Until… the figure revealed themself.
Turns out the silhouette was Wilbur, but he was cold. He didn’t have that inviting and warm disposition that Tallulah remembered him to have. Voices began to swirl around, dozens of phrases that were disheartening to hear reverberating constantly around the child. Fear slowly began to set in.
Wilbur began to approach Tallulah, a cold and villainous grin on his face as he held out his arms, seeming to want a hug.
“I’m home, sunshine,” the voice muttered in a distorted voice that swirled incoherently all around her.
“Papa?” Tallulah whispered, though her faint hushed voice felt like she was shouting. It wasn’t long until she felt a cold hand brush her shoulder, pulling her in for an embrace. It didn’t feel like Wilbur’s hands. His were warm like a cup of tea you’d drink on a rainy day while looking out a window at the world. These hands were ice, heartless and cruel. The other hand gripped her beanie and pulled it over her head, until…
The world warped into a void of endless black. Tallulah swam in it to try and get away but there was no escape. The darkness was a box that she was stuck in, as she saw one eye turn into two eyes, which multiplied into millions of eyes watching her as though she was a fish swimming about in a bowl.
“Help!” She screamed, but her voice faded away as soon as she spoke. She felt that someone ripped out her voice box as she heard snide snickers coming from behind her? Or was it beside her?
Tallulah helplessly banged on the barriers of this void, but there was no glass. Her arms weakened from thrashing about, until her beanie was lifted.
Her eyes were welcomed with the faint pulsating light of an aisle of candles. It was homely, until she saw a tiny spider crawling across rickety wooden planks, haphazardly kept in place with loose screws.
Mingling voices reverberated from below, as she heard Wilbur’s voice again.
“I don’t want Tallulah anymore. She’s too much.”
Tallulah’s little heart shattered in a million pieces? Was she really too much? Sure she was clingy and needed reassurance but all she wanted was to see the best in people, to make the world a better place. But maybe that was too much for Wilbur. A single tear fell from her eyes, as she came to the realization of where she was: the attic.
The attic, to Tallulah, was her worst nightmare. From the day Wilbur found her and brought her home she had terrible dreams where she’d end up back there because Wilbur was too busy, or she was too much for him to deal with. Turns out the second part was correct.
Tallulah felt her soul close in on itself, just as the walls did for weeks, the unpleasant dust and cobwebs welcoming her home. “But, papa said that everyone would care for me… why doesn’t anyone care?” Tallulah wept to herself. She didn’t want to speak, everything shutting down within. She cried and cried and cried until she could barely breathe from the congestion that clogged her nose and nearly suffocated her throat.
Thoughts swirled about, as the little girl felt as though she was worthless, a waste of time and space. No one cared about her, not even Phil and Chayanne, not even Quackity, not even BBH or Foolish or Dapper, Bobby or Pomme cared. No one gave a shit about the little girl who cries alone in the attic, abandoned by people she thought were family.
Footsteps receded as the torches below were blown out, the adoption center now a pit of pure darkness. Tallulah sat alone, as she heard portals open and close from outside. She wanted to be home, but home wasn’t home anymore. She wanted to hear Wilbur’s guitar again as he sang saccharine lullabies laced with the scent of honey and lavender, his words brighter than sunshine.
She was never going back. Wilbur didn’t want her. No one wanted her.
Who would want the kindest and sweetest little girl to have ever lived? The most innocent and kind, the most respectable little girl who plays the flute and makes the world a better place just by existing? No one wants someone as innocent and pure as Tallulah, surely.
To pass the time, Tallulah began to hum “You Are My Sunshine” to herself, sobbing softly as she heard the echoes of a once-kind and fatherly Wilbur singing them to her, plucking the strings on his guitar with tender love and care. She heard his voice so clearly, it cut through the pain and the sadness that washed over her.
Wilbur was the moon to Tallulah’s sunshine, but he wasn’t anymore. She was no longer the sunshine to everyone. For all she knew, Wilbur paraded around, probably bragging he didn’t have to deal with her anymore.
He didn’t deserve someone as bright and angelic as Tallulah.
But for the moments he was warm and caring before he got busy and his fatherly façade wore off, he was everything Tallulah needed. Someone who promised to never take her back to the terrifying places she had been to, yet, that promise was broken.
Because here she was, back in the very cage she was found in, afraid and timid.
“I just want to go home,” Tallulah whispered to herself.
She heard Wilbur’s voice taunting her. His voice was still home to her, a fatherly tone almost bitter to hear. She saw his face as he feigned a smile in the corner of the attic, trying his best to conceal his true intentions.
Loud. Loud. Loud.
Tallulah’s thoughts felt as though they were being blasted through loudspeakers in her mind, rattling her very core. Her breathing began to break a bit, growing more unsteady the more she focused on her thoughts.
MAKE. IT. STOP.
Tallulah was rocking back and forth, trying to control these erratic thoughts which were sporadically popping into her mind and jumping about, growing louder and more distorted as time slowly ticked by.
I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE
Suddenly, everything stopped. It didn’t feel like a permanent stop, more like a “calm before the storm” kind of stop. Tallulah felt the most alone she ever felt, even when Wilbur first found her in that attic the first time. She was alone, but no one was gonna save her. No one was gonna take care of her now. She was just an accessory to parade around and pretend to lov and when she is no longer considered useful, she is thrown away.
Then her mind continued. She heard Wilbur say these terrible things Tallulah was thinking. She felt like it was her own dad saying it to her.
You’re worthless
You were never mine
I never should have brought you home
You’re a mistake…
The last one hurt Tallulah the most. The hybrid clutched at the sweater in her chest and tore at the fabric. She ripped at the seams of the sweater Wilbur made for her. If she was such a mistake why did he love her the way he did? He never saw the cracks. He never saw the flaws.
He only saw a daughter whom he could love.
But then he didn’t…
“I’m scared,” Tallulah called out, whatever remained of her voice washed away into the wooden walls. No one heard her.
“I WANT MY PAPA!” the little girl cried. She cried and she cried and she cried. She just wanted someone, anyone, to love her. To hold her and keep her safe from the world of dangers that seemed to follow everyone on the island no matter what they did. The poor child wallowed in her sadness, tears soaking the tarnished wool of the sweater as she hid away, hoping that by the morning everyone would just forget about her, and maybe Wilbur would come around and realize he made a mistake.
But tomorrow never came.
***
Tallulah awoke with a jolt, tears running down her face. She took a good look at her surroundings and very quickly realized that she was back in the treehouse. There were no disorienting corridors which spanned on for too long, sending her on multi-dimensional trips through hell and back. She was home, and the world outside was still.
Too still.
Her heart was pounding unsteadily, as she wanted a hug. The house was quiet and she felt scared to leave her room, albeit she needed to talk to someone about whatever nightmare she just had.
Phil .
The little girl brought her blanket with her, tossing it down the ladder, so that she may have some form of comfort when she arrives at Phil’s. She climbed down the ladder, vision blurred from her being half-asleep and was also crying.
Leaving her and Wilbur’s house, Tallulah heard crickets and frogs making their melodic twilight songs, followed by the occasional hoot of an owl echoing through the trees. The groans of distant zombies made the poor girl shudder and hide away inside, but she knew she’d be okay. The portal to take her to Abuelito’s was nearby, as these bright cerulean particles emanated off of this obelisk, engraved with these runic symbols from worlds inaccessible from Quesadilla Island.
Wilbur read about these symbols and often told Tallulah the legends and myths behind them, for she was interested and they doubled as cool bedtime stories.
According to a book Wilbur found one day, the symbols were from ancient societies of what is now known as the Nether and End regions. They are not in the Overworld, which is where Quesadilla Island and billions of other nations and worlds are located. The Nether is often described as what many believe to be a hellish dimension, mostly categorized by its lava pools and striders who roam about the lava, or their warped and crimson trees which allow for different breeds of piglins and hoglins to thrive. They were said to be one of the first societies to live in the overworld, but nearly went extinct when the first villagers began to build their bases on their land. The only remaining species that don’t live here are pillagers, who, as an act of revenge and spite, fight the villagers and go to war against them to avenge their piglin and hoglin brethren.
The End is what most would consider to be the end goal of life. Pre-Aether. Wilbur told Tallulah that the End has guards in the Overworld, Endermen, and they ensure that those who are worthy enough to fight the Ender Dragon are sent to a stronghold to head to that dimension. Of course, no one on the Island was going to be worthy enough for that, for the dragon was the most unbeatable creature ever created, besides a three headed nightmare known as the Wither.
This monster was created within the most impure forms of evil, tasked with bringing bad fortune and death upon the Overworld. The legends in the book that Wilbur read to Tallulah say that the Wither was created by Pillagers to eradicate the villagers for invading the pre-existent hoglin and piglin territory. They adorned three heads which attached to a long and cryptid-like body, tapering at the tail that can destroy crops and grasslands in a single swipe.
The Wither was named for its innate ability to wither away crops and anyone who came in close contact with it. Particles were left upon blackened grass and soil, crops dripping with deadly substances.
Wilbur always told Tallulah that she wasn’t to worry about the Wither or the Nether for the Federation had special borders in place to ensure that no one could conjure the Wither or erect a portal that can allow residents of Quesadilla Island to travel to the Nether. They tried to do that once in a trial, but none of the trial run participants returned, for their spawn portal remained but their post-Nether portal was outside of the Federation’s parameters.
Tallulah brushed her tiny hands across the stone obelisk, her mind racing. She was alone in the darkness of the world, not even the warm and pleasant glow of the torches that lined the yard felt welcoming for her. They felt cold as though a breeze swept the amber flames away leaving the little girl lost and alone in the cold palms of twilight.
Had Wilbur not left, she could have been in his arms crying into his shoulder as he comforted her, but with everyone else asleep, she didn’t want to disturb anyone. Phil was the only exception as he was the closest as far as proximity went. All she wanted as her dad, for she was scared to end up alone. With Wilbur gone she felt alone, even if she was surrounded by caring people and loving friends. She was… alone.
And she hated that feeling, hell, she loathed it. Her worst possible nightmare was that she’d end up alone and the people she thought she loved turned on her. Because she’s been through that before. Her mother, a dragon, left her and everyone and they were all adopted instantaneously. Except for Tallulah.
The weeks she spent alone in the attic, befriending tiny spiders who had families of their own, creating mosaics out of silky webs made Tallulah feel worthless, like she wasn’t good enough for anyone. How could spiders have a family and I don’t? She was left in the attic, not on display with any of the other eggs, shoved aside like a second thought.
But when Wilbur came and showed her the love and compassion she’d been looking for, she began to hear the birds’ melodies again and smell the flowers Wilbur planted for her, even creating Tallulah’s Amapola Garden . She played her flute while he played his guitar and everything was balanced and good again.
Until Wilbur left.
She understood why he needed to leave, but she hated it all the same. Bad things began to happen and Tallulah feared that she’d never see her father again, dying alone, ending up… alone.
The tired hybrid tugged her blanket even tighter and admired these aqua particles that danced in the night air, emitting a light that oddly comforted her more than the fire that lined the emerald lawn. She pressed a single button and the obelisk expanded into a portal which would transport her up the mountainous wall up to where Phil and Chayanne resided.
Being in the portal was relatively pleasant, though disorienting all the same. Tallulah didn’t hate it by any means but after the nightmare she had, the world around her felt very similar as the walls almost morphed and swirled about aimlessly like whirlpools in an open ocean. Her thoughts became a distortion as she heard garbled voices that sounded like it could be Wilbur’s voice, but then it all disappeared by the time she appeared outside of the portal.
Twilight was fast approaching, as Tallulah exited the portal. She felt tiny within this vast sea of stars and mobs which seemed to roam the grasslands of the island. She approached Phil’s door, taking notice of how dark the house was, except for a few dimming lanterns in the dining room. Nervously, she knocked on the door, hoping that Phil would answer.
There was no response, no scuffling of tired and aching feet, nothing.
Silence flooded Tallulah’s mind, and while that may have seemed like a blessing, it only acted as an amplifier to the thoughts running through the poor little girl’s mind.
Maybe I am meant to be alone
Does Abuelito not care?
I’m scared that no one cares
I’m scared to end up alone
Tallulah knocked again, calling for Phil’s name, hoping that would wake him up. She cried, as she knelt down at the front door, knocking constantly until… footsteps?
She saw a shadow emerge within the dining room and grabbing the lantern. Maybe this was Abuelito? The shadow was a bit scruffy and half-asleep, almost zombified and undead in their movements, but as Phil opened the door for Tallulah, a light filled her heart which felt like it had been consumed by a void of hopelessness.
“What’re you doing up, Tallulah? It’s past your bedtime,” Phil said, as he picked her up, Tallulah sniffling in his arms, wrapping herself in her blanket even tighter now.
“B-Bad dream, Abuelito. I’m scared.”
“Awe, I’m sorry to hear that. What was the dream about?”
“Papa kidnapped me and b-brought me back to the adoption center and he said he didn’t love me. That I was too much. Maybe I am too much and that’s why he’s gone so much during tours and it takes him so long to come back. I’m just scared that I’m gonna end up alone, back in the adoption center, back in a place where I didn’t feel loved, where I was shoved aside as everyone else was adopted. I’d be abandoned, left there to befriend the spiders who have families and I’d have nothing.”
“Come here, Tallulah. Let me tell you something, alright? Your Papi loves you more than anything else in the world, even his music. He loves you and cherishes you more than life itself, for you are the foundation that brought back his smile that I’d not seen in so long. He was willing to take care of you because he wants the best for you, even if he’d be absent sometimes for his work, but he brought you to me because he wants nothing but the best for you. You mean more to him than I think I do. He’s never gonna abandon you, I promise you that. He’s never gonna say you’re too much. You are enough just as you are, Tallulah. You aren’t too much, everyone on this island loves you, I promise. Remember what your Papa told you?”
“T-To spread love to all and show everyone kindness.”
“Exactly. And everyone does the same to you, Tallulah.”
“Do they do it out of pity, though? Because everyone has a present parent, but I don’t. I have you and Papa, but Papa is always away.” Tallulah went on and on almost trying to convince herself that she was only loved out of pity, but Phil reassured her that everyone loved her for her personality, her endless outpouring of love and kindness and positivity to everyone on the island. She was genuinely loved and cared about by everyone because they’re merely reciprocating how she treats them.
“Your Papa misses you so much, alright? He misses you a lot. He’ll talk to me every day and ask how you’re doing. He sends you so many letters but the mail service out here fucking sucks, I’m gonna be honest. Here, how about in the morning, before we do our tasks, you, me and Chayanne write Wilbur a nice letter? I can expedite it so he can get it before he goes to the next city for the festivals he’s doing.” Tallulah perked up at the thought of that. Wilbur always wrote her letters. She kept the little booklets safe with her and she’d read them every night when he was gone whenever Phil couldn’t tuck her in, or he was too tired because as she liked to tease, “Abuelito’s old and needs his beauty sleep.”
“Will Papa like that?”
“Of course, Tallulah. I’m certain he’d love to hear from you. I’ll get you all set up here for the night and then first thing in the morning, we can work on it.”
“Sounds good, Abuelito! One more thing before I go to sleep… Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, anything.” Tallulah sat down and began to jot out words in her little journal, trying to write down her thoughts as small as she could so Phil could read it. She was at it for about twenty minutes, head slowly lolling forward from the endless weight of tiredness that seemed to consume her. She felt a few tears slip from her eyes as they dampened the paper a bit. A heartfelt note, a simple question explained with such detail that the small egg could not articulate in words.
Abuelito,
I know this is a bit more of the odd question for a little girl like me to ask in the middle of the night after bawling my eyes out, but I need to ask you this one important question.
You see, I’d never been met with as much kindness and love and adoration from anyone until I met my Papa. I don’t exactly remember how I wound up here but my first memory of this island was that I was cast aside. I wasn’t treated like the other eggs, having to spend my life in a stuffy attic where even the dust bunnies and the spiders had friends and family - people who cared about them - and I had nothing. I had no one.
Until I saw a man walk in with hair just like mine wearing a yellow sweater that felt so familiar. He was terrified when he found me. He was horrified to take care of someone as precious as I was because he knew he’d be absent with his musical travels.
But I witnessed something. His abject horror turned into adoration within ten minutes. He took me out of this darkness where I felt worthless, abandoned by all who knew me, and he showed me love. Even if he gave me to tío Fit instead, those 10 minutes changed my life. He’s the sunlight when I was in the darkness.
And when Papa left… I felt that loneliness creep back in, worried that he’d never come back, terrified that something would happen and he wouldn’t return, or he’d forgotten about me.
But he left me in the care of you. He went to everyone on the island at the time and thought that you were the best candidate, though tío Bad, tío Foolish and tío Quackity have always been fun to be around, you were the one that Papa trusted the most with me, and it showed that he wanted the best for me.
I’m going to be honest though, I’ve seen you as a father figure so much when papa was gone, that I sometimes sit awake at night asking the darkness if maybe Papa would forget me and not want me anymore.
But I still ask this question, the one that also keeps me awake at night, one that’s been stuck in the back of my throat for a while now: “Can you consider me to be your father until Papa returns?”
That’s the questions that has been on my mind for so long, because I felt worried that asking it would make me think I’m replacing Papa with you or that he thinks I’m replacing him with you.
Phil looked at Tallulah and read every word she jotted down. He admired how Wilbur’s vocabulary had rubbed off on her, as his heart equally broke then became repaired again and melted into a puddle within his ribcage.
“Awe… Tallulah, y’know, ever since Wil told me that he wanted me to be your dad while he was away, I always considered you my daughter. And you don’t need to worry, ever, about your Papi thinking I replaced him. He chose me to be your temporary dad for a reason. He trusted that I’d be able to take care of you and teach you the skills he’d not be able to teach well.”
“Can you promise me one more thing?”
“Mhm.”
“Can you promise me that I’ll never end up alone.”
“I promise. I’ll be your dad until Wil gets back and that you won’t end up alone. You’ll never be back in that shit hole of a place that you were in before Wil adopted you. I promise. You are such a strong warrior, Tallulah. You’re one of the strongest kids I know and Wilbur would be and is so fucking proud of you.”
Tallulah lit up in her sleepy state. She felt her heart grow warmer as it was firmly squeezed with a familiar embrace. Phil gave her a big hug, as Tallulah refused to let go. Phil wrapped his wings around her, further blanketing his granddaughter in his arms.
For the first time in so long, Tallulah smiled .