Archive of Our Own ^beta

Fall 1999

ǀ 1 ǀ

All mornings were pretty much the same. 

Once a routine is established, it’s difficult to notice the little changes. He woke up early every day, early enough to glimpse the first ray of sunshine. He went for a quick run around the bay that was always covered in a dense cloud of mist and sea salt, cars were driven around with the lights on and people wandered lost, aiming to find a way to their dull routines. By the time he returned, however, it was all clarity. He showered, changed his clothes to a fresh sensible shirt and dark pants, and went to the café to get his daily dose of freshly ground caffeine, served in a convenient and portable paper cup. He walked to work; one of the perks of being his own boss was that he could open the store at any time but the tacit agreement and the sign on the door pointed they were open by eight, and he respected that. He changed the closed for an open, turned on the lights, and the heat if it was a cold day. He checked that the shelves were pristine, books perfectly aligned, and novelties in full display. By eight-thirty, he might get a new box with the weekly order to replenish the missing volumes or the visit of the first customer. The clientele was diverse for a little bookstore, some regulars and some curious eyes that jumped from title to title searching for nothing in particular, hoping to be charmed by the first two pages of a novel or an essay. Sometimes he took a sip of coffee and then put some records on, sometimes he put some records on and then took a sip of coffee, -depending on how unpredictable he wanted to be that day. Was it an Oasis day? A No Doubt day? A Radiohead day? Maybe The Cure or The Cranberries …

There was no time to choose because at that moment, the doorbell rang and a new client walked in. It was a man with big dark incognito sunglasses, a black beret, a plain white t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a leather jacket he’d regret bringing by the time the sun warmed up around noon. At that moment, Jeongguk could only peer from the desk.

But somehow, that person looked familiar, as if he had seen him before. Maybe in a movie, maybe in a dream…

And then, when the stranger turned around the corner, he got a better look. His jaw almost dropped but somehow he maintained the calm. 

It was Kim Taehyung, Kim Taehyung… the biggest movie star in the world - there - in his store. Not that Jeongguk didn’t think his bookstore wasn’t worthy of a movie star, in fact, he owed everything to his job. At college, he had briefly majored in Literature despite his parents gunning for him to study medicine and chase a quote on quote ‘more profitable career path’. He loved books and devoted himself to that place that wasn’t just a place anymore, it was a part of his soul, -even the humidity stains in one corner and the squeaky backdoor- and now… Well, he wondered if a doctor would be in the presence of a star like Kim Taehyung, ha, look at that mom and dad, who’s laughing now?

It was Kim Taehyung, the most divine, subtle, gorgeous man on Earth.

Jeongguk had to say something fast and hopefully, his voice wouldn’t crack mid-sentence.

He cleared his throat and finally asked “Can I help you?”

It wasn’t that bad, was it?

Taehyung glanced back and -even through the black tinted glasses- his eyes could pierce Jeongguk’s flimsy exterior and shatter him into pieces like a cannonball.

“No, thanks. I'll just look around.” He sounded very self-assured and self-contained.

“Fine… Alright.” Jeongguk lowered his gaze trying to focus on the inventory as if he could concentrate on something else.

He kept browsing through the spines and eventually picked up a slim book from the non-fiction shelf.

Jeongguk tried to bite his tongue but before he knew, the words came out of his mouth.

“That book's really not good… just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money.” Taehyung was now staring at him. Jeongguk scratched the back of his neck out of nervousness. “But if it’s essays that you’re interested in… this one, on the other hand, is very good.” He picked a book from behind his desk. “ The White Album by Joan Didion, a lot of mass culture during the 60s but the author’s pen is so powerful, she’s sharp and witty… Black Swans by Eve Babitz, is a bit more recent plus there’s some beef between them. We also have Wild Swans by Jung Chang and I promise you, it’s not a theme, this one is about three generations of Chinese women… or maybe you’re more in the mood for a work of fiction and, for that, I’d recommend Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk… a couple of years ago people made quite a fuss over this book The Virgin Suicides but I think it was because of the title and well, the content… also, there’s this book by one Haruki Murakami that, according to one of my friends, is going to become a big deal and… teens these days buy that one a lot, The Perks of being… something. So…”

“Thanks.  I'll think about it.” He said with a condescending smile.

Maybe he went a little too far but what kind of book could interest Kim Taehyung? Was there something he found alluring among those shelves? Would there ever be?

In the meantime, a high school girl that should’ve been in school if it wasn’t Saturday, dropped a copy of Madame Bovary on the counter.

“Finished Anna Karenina already, Eunji?”

“I feel seen by tragic women in literature. Emma Bovary is a legend, took a handful of arsenic when things didn’t go the way she wanted.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t the whole story.”

“That’s why I need to read it to find out. We don’t read anything interesting in school, it’s all… male-centered .” She said with disgust.

“Uh… Have you ever thought about reading women written by women? We have all Virginia Woolf’s books or Sylvia Plath’s that are equally suicidal. But if you want to read something else… Louisa May Alcott wrote more than Little Women … although Little Women will always be excellent in my eyes.”

“I liked Like Water for Chocolate , Laura Esquivel.” Taehyung’s voice appeared in the conversation, making them both look in his direction. “ The House of the Spirits is also very good but I just watched the movie so I guess my opinion doesn’t count on that one.” He shrugged and kept inspecting the top shelves.

Eunji turned back to Jeongguk with big plate eyes.

“Why is someone that looks like Kim Taehyung at the store?”

“I suspect it is the Kim Taehyung.” He whispered.

She mouthed NO FUCKING WAY .

“Language!”

“Uhm… excuse me…” She approached the actor with the nerve and the cheek of a teenage girl. “Are you, by any chance, Kim Taehyung?”

Taehyung lowered his glasses, stared directly at her, and wiggled his brows.

Even when Eunji didn’t let any sound out, Jeongguk could hear her screaming underneath the surface.

“C-Can I have your autograph?” She formulated the question in the most robotic voice Jeongguk had ever heard, and she was infamously a chatterbox.

She extended a black marker she had swiped from Jeongguk’s desk and a wrinkled paper she had in the pocket of her jacket.

“What's your name?”

“Eunji.”

“Okay, here you have.” Taehyung returned the paper to the girl’s shaky hands.

“What does it say?” She said without even attempting to read it, maybe she momentarily lost her ability to read due to the impression of meeting a celebrity.

“Well, that's the signature,” he pointed at his own scribble. “And above, it says 'Dear Eunji, respect your elders and read more women written by women.'”

“Nice… Would you like my phone number too?” She said without breathing in between words.

“Thank you, but no. You’ll meet someone age-appropriate, I’m sure.”

“This is… the best day of my life.” She said with a blank face. Maybe she also momentarily lost her ability to express emotion. Eunji immediately left the store while staring at the piece of paper.

She probably let a cry out the second she got home.

“Sorry about that.” Jeongguk apologized on her behalf when Taehyung walked toward the counter.

“I should be the one apologizing. I made you lose a sale here.” He tapped the cover of Madame Bovary that was left abandoned on the side.

“Don’t worry, she comes every day, she’ll come back for this.”

“So… I think I will try this one.” Taehyung slid a copy of a novel over the counter. “To make it even.”

“ High Fidelity? I haven’t read this one.”

“I’m reading it for research purposes mostly.”

“Right, I’ll throw in a couple of bookmarks as a gift.” Jeongguk prepared a little bag with the copy. “One of the artisans makes them for us, she has a spot in the market, you should check it out if you’re in the area. Saturday is the busiest day, but there are many little stores to buy trinkets and food, especially seafood. Everything’s fresh out the boat.” Was he talking too much? He felt like he was saying a lot, yet he couldn’t get himself to shut up. “So… uhm…”

Please, shut up.

“Thank you. I’ll consider it.” He said with a polite smile, the one he learned in acting school.

He then left the store and Jeongguk watched until he closed the door, making the doorbell ring one last time. Then, and only then, he was able to breathe again. He was out of his life forever; Jeongguk was still dazed, wonderstruck if you please.

“The traffic was inhumanly congested since that camera crew arrived; the tourists are everywhere this year… if you open the drawer one might jump out of it.” Seokjin pushed the door with a heavy box in his hands. Those are the new copies that Jeongguk ordered last week.

However, Jeongguk was still too startled to pronounce a word.

“Jeongguk?” Seokjin waved after dropping the box on the floor since he had no help at all.

“Ah… yeah… horrible traffic…”

Seokjin frowned. “Are you okay? Did I miss something…?”

Jeongguk blinked and then shook his head. “No. No… it’s… nothing.”

What had Seokjin missed? Only the most gorgeous actor on Earth walking by their local bookstore.

Not a big deal.

ǀ 2 ǀ

Around noon they were done rearranging the shelves with the extra copies Seokjin had brought. Seokjin -who also happened to be his housemate- was the physical owner of the bookstore since it had belonged to his grandfather -I know, nepotism -  but Jeongguk was the one who spent most of his days around the books and because of that, he grew to love the bookstore like it was his and, at that point, it was as much as Seokjin’s as it was Jeongguk’s.

Seokjin was updating the inventory on their computer, praying the system won’t crash again, when another client walked in. Almost instantly, Jeongguk jumped off his seat like a Pavlovian dog. It was the fourth time that day. His friend had never seen him like that, it was like his seat had electricity or something, and whenever the bell rang a device activated it.

“Hey,” Seokjin called. “I’m almost done with this, can you go and grab something for lunch?”

“Oh… sure… anything you’d like?”

“I’m craving a fresh bowl of hoedeopbap and maybe some dumplings…”

“Alright… anything else?”

“Can you get me one of those Slurpees they sell around the corner?”

“Yeah, what flavor?”

“Blue.”

“That’s not a flavor.”

“There are two flavors, red and blue, bring the blue one.”

“Okay… I’ll be right back.”

“You better, I’m starving.”

♢

The market was a magical place. It was lively every day but its peak was during the weekends. It was always full of artisans and potters with their latest creations, local farmers with baskets of herbs and vegetables to sell, and fishermen with the day's catch fresh out of the ocean. And it smelled good, too. The scent of cooking spices mixed with fresh flowers wafted through the stands, making for an inviting atmosphere for those who were in search of a meal or simply taking in the sights. Somewhere, in the distance, the ocean could be heard and the salty air was invigorating. In the background, the sound of chatter and laughter echoed. Tourists were everywhere to be seen as they strolled past stalls. They stopped here and there for a while before moving onward. Some looked at the crafts they passed by while others had more important things to do such as shopping for supplies or just visiting their families back home. But, no matter what, magic could be felt in the air, vibrant, full of life.

It was rush hour so it took some time to secure the goods but once he got the food, he was ready to head back. Jeongguk swung out of the Slurpee parlor with the cyan drink in one hand and a hanging bag with the dishes in the other. He turned around at the next corner, a bit distracted by the sudden sound of a car honking across the street when he accidentally bumped into someone. The paper cup with the drink flew in the air for a second and it ended up soaking everything, including him and a certain movie star that just happened to be walking in the opposite direction.

It took a moment for Jeongguk to realize it was the very same Kim Taehyung that had visited the bookstore earlier that day. The pristine white t-shirt he wore was now covered in artificial food coloring and his expression was also tainted.

“Oh, God.” Taehyung expressed with disdain.

“Here, let me help.” He grabbed some napkins and started cleaning them off as fast as he could.

“What are you doing?!” Taehyung sounded exasperated, very different from the smooth movie star he had met and Jeongguk couldn’t blame him when his chest was covered in an icy beverage.

“Nothing… sorry… I’m so sorry. Look, I live just over the street… you could get cleaned up.”

“No, thank you. I need to get my car back.”

“Please, I feel so bad. I have a phone there and I'm confident that in five minutes we can have you fresh back on the streets again… that sounded bad…” Jeongguk shook his head. “What I mean is…”

He could tell Taehyung was genuinely annoyed, he was fuming but for some reason, he sighed and said. “Okay.  So what does 'just over the street' mean?”

“You can see my house from here,” He pointed at the row of similar buildings. “The white one with blue windows and black iron fences, that's my house there.”

Taehyung looked down at his ruined t-shirt and then at Jeongguk.

It took less than three minutes to get there. They walked in, both still covered in blue, Taehyung carrying some bags and Jeongguk carrying the lunch. Seokjin must be asking where the hell was he… he was never going to believe him anyway.

“Come on in. I’ll just…”

Jeongguk seized the time it took Taehyung to take off his shoes to get some cleaning done. The place wasn’t a mess but it was messier than usual. He didn’t do the dishes the night before, some ramen cups were sticking together on top of the kitchen table, and whatever Seokjin had for breakfast made the stove a mess. In the rush, he hid some delivery trades and an unfinished bag of chips but then, Taehyung entered the kitchen without further ado.

“I apologize if it’s not that tidy.” He said with a puppy voice tone.

Taehyung didn’t say a word and with that, Jeongguk felt the urge of filing the silence gaps with more words.

“The bathroom is right at the top of the stairs and there's a phone on the desk up there. I’ll take care of that.” He said, grabbing one of his shopping bags.

Taehyung disappeared upstairs. Jeongguk needed a moment to lean into one of the countertops and take a deep breath. Then he started cleaning frantically the most he could, to make the place a bit more habitable and decent for a movie star’s visit (unrealistic expectations checked).

After a couple of minutes, Taehyung walked down the stairs wearing a tight black t-shirt underneath his leather jacket. The all-in-black vision left the younger speechless once again.

They stared at each other for a moment; only then, Jeongguk realized he was supposed to say something.

“Would you like a cup of tea before you go?” The last thing he could do was to be a good host after all.

“No thanks.”

“Coffee?” He must be used to American things, probably coffee was a better choice.

“No.”

“A blue Slurpee? Probably not.” He said as a joke but it didn’t spark any laughter in the room or maybe Jeongguk was too nervous to make fun of himself.

Jeongguk headed to their empty fridge -in his defense, it was Seokjin’s turn to do the shopping- hoping he could offer something else.

“Something else cold… coke, water, soju, some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?”

“Really, no.”

“Maybe a snack? Seaweed snacks… honey butter chips… some premium Belgian chocolate I was specifically told not to touch because it belongs to my housemate… Oh! There’s some homemade kimchi I brought from home…”

“No.”

“Do you always say 'no' to everything?” The question came out bold, although it wasn’t Jeongguk’s intention. He was sweating underneath his stained shirt.

However, it seemed that Taehyung was holding back a little smile. Yet, he replied again.

“No.”

Their eyes met for a moment. Even though they hadn’t exchanged many words, something lingered in the air.

“I better be going. Thanks for your help.” He finally broke the silence.

“You're welcome and, I’m so sorry… you probably never going to come back to the store after this… Sorry.”

Finally, defeated, Taehyung smiled.

“Thank you.” He said, smiling yet poised.

“Yeah. Well. My pleasure.”

Taehyung grabbed his bags and put his shoes back on.

Jeongguk opened the door, slightly reluctant.

“Nice to meet you. Surreal but nice. ”

Taehyung nodded and walked out without saying anything else.

The younger closed the door behind and rested his forehead against the wood, hoping to find some clarity in it.

“ 'Surreal but nice.'   What was I thinking?” He murmured to himself.

He shook his head again in horror and wandered back along the corridor in silence.

Had he blown out the only chance he had to talk to someone like Kim Taehyung? Most likely.

It wouldn’t be the first time he ruined a first meeting but it’d definitely be the first time with a celebrity.

Right when everything seemed lost, there was a knock on the door. 

He moved back and cleared his throat before grabbing the knob.

If it wasn’t he, Jeongguk was going to be disappointed but, on the other hand, he wished it wasn’t he, so he could move on that crazy morning, the memory would fade but he would never forget Taehyung’s eyes.

Even though, he really wished it was Taehyung.

“Yes?” He hoped his voice didn’t denote his excitement.

It was him. Not a drill, not a dream.

“Oh… hi.  Did you forget something?”

“My bag, one of my bags.”

He dashed into the kitchen and picked up the forgotten shopping bag. Then returned and handed it to him.

“Is it this one?” Of course it was, the name of an expensive brand was printed on it.

“Yes, thank you. Well…”

They were stranded in the corridor. A new silence overflooded the air but this time it wasn’t as awkward as the ones they experienced before. It was like they had returned from a great first date and not the messiest and most humiliating moment of Jeongguk’s life. A strange feeling of intimacy now floated in the room. Their eyes met, yet again.

Jeongguk’s lips parted, he was about to say something but then, Taehyung leaned forward and kissed him. Maybe he didn’t want to Jeongguk to keep talking or maybe he just wanted to kiss him. Whatever the case, Jeongguk was not complaining.

In fact, he was too stunned to speak ever again.

Taehyung’s lips were soft like a whisper, even if the kiss lasted less than a couple of seconds, he could still feel the softness, the cocoa butter that coated them, and the strangeness of his mouth against his. The instant they parted, Jeongguk already found himself missing his warmth.

“I apologize for the 'surreal but nice' comment. That was… bad .”

“Don't worry about it. I’ve heard worse.”

Suddenly, bursting their little bubble, there was a clicking of a key in the lock.

“That’s my housemate… shit , I completely forgot about him.”

Seokjin walked in, clearly irritated.

“Hi,” He greeted without even noticing the movie star’s identity.

“Hi,” Taehyung replied without adding much.

“Hi,” Jeongguk also said.

Seokjin headed straight to the kitchen. “I can’t believe you forgot about lunch! I’m so hungry… I had to close the store for a moment because you didn’t come back so I assumed you were here...” His voice got lost in the unmistakable rattle of some dishes.

“Probably best not tell anyone about this,” Taehyung murmured while they were still in the corridor.

“Right. No one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but... don't worry, I won't believe it.”

Charming.

“Bye.”

And he left, with just a touch of Jeongguk’s hand.

“Are you not eating?” Seokjin yelled from the kitchen. “The fish is very good.”

“You know, I lost my appetite.”

Jeongguk closed his hand, wishing he could retain some of the heat that Taehyung had left. And while a mischievous smile appeared on his face and the tickles on his fingertips didn’t vanish, he held onto that memory of, probably, the best day of his life.

ǀ 3 ǀ

As the days went by, Jeongguk was more and more convinced that everything that had happened was a dream. He even questioned whether or not Taehyung was real. 

One night, Jeongguk found one of his movies on TV and he couldn’t help but become entranced by his presence once again. Taehyung -in character- talked to someone and he was compelled to reply to him as if it was a real conversation. Taehyung bit his lip and Jeongguk’s fingers slid up to his own. If he closed his eyes, he could listen to his voice and imagine he was there in his living room. Taheyung was real, living and breathing in flesh and bone, and he was virtual, playing in frames and recordings.

The following morning, Jeongguk was at the bookstore, it was a cloudy day and he was pretending to read a novel. His index finger worked as a bookmark while he looked at the window with dreamy eyes. At one point, the entire window was suddenly taken up by the huge side of a bus, obscuring the light and entirely covered with a portrait of Kim Taehyung, the face of Lotte World .

Seokjin arrived later at the store grumbling about something.

“What’s wrong?” Jeongguk asked, abandoning the book he didn’t have to pretend to be reading anymore.

“One of those aggressive telemarketers caught me right before leaving the house. I spent the past twenty minutes trying to get rid of him.”

“Did it work?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, I’m just going to say I’m now the owner of a brand new toaster red like a Ferrari.”

“Cool… we needed a new one.”

Seokjin glared at him.

“Anyway… any messages in the machine?”

“What calling are you waiting for so desperately? This is the fifth time you asked this week.”

“Nothing… just wondering.”

“For your information, I wrote a couple down.”

“That’s it?”

“Do I look like your secretary?”

“Sorry, sorry…” Jeongguk shook his head. “Who were the ones you didn't write down from?”

Seokjin revealed a wrinkled piece of paper with some scribbles on it. “Let me see.” He squinted. “There was one from your mother: she said don't forget lunch and that you should go visit soon.”

Nothing new.

“... and that was about it.”

“Weren’t there two? You said it was two.”

“There was this message from last week but I’m confident it was some sort of prank call.”

“Oh… alright.”

“I mean, who do we know that’s staying at the Lotte Hotel.”

“Yeah, right.”

Wait.

“Hold on,” Jeongguk stopped his friend midway. “What was it about? What did it say?”

Seokjin scratched his head and scanned the piece of paper again. “The person said, ‘ Hi it's Tae’ and then he said, call me at the Lotte Hotel and then gave himself a completely different name. One hundred percent fake.”

“Which was?”

“I don’t know… As I said, I stopped paying attention since I thought it was a prank.”

“Oh my God…”

“Wait, who’s Tae?” The elder asked, extremely confused.

♢

“Good morning… afternoon…” Jeongguk ran his fingers through his hair.

“Lotte Hotel, how can I help you?”  The perfect voice of a perfectly trained employee spoke through the line.

“Hi… this is going to sound weird and you might understand I’m in a bind here. You’ll see, I’m friends with Kim Taehyung, he rang me earlier and left a message saying she's staying with you…”

“I'm sorry, we don't have anyone of that name here, sir.”

“No, that's right, I know that. He said he's using another name but the problem is he left the message with my housemate, which was a serious mistake.”

“I already apologize. How was I supposed to know you’re acquaintances with a movie star?” Seokjin yelled from the corner of the store.

Jeongguk shushed him. He was tangling with the red swirled cord of the phone while hanging on that little wrinkled piece of paper as if it was his last hope -and it was.

“The point is… I didn’t receive the message directly so I don’t know his fake name. I know he’s there but I don’t know… Okay, listen, I get, I know how it sounds…”

“I’m sorry, sir. I cannot provide any personal information of our guests.”

“Please don’t hang up… Let me just…” Jeongguk massaged his temple.

Fake name… fake name…

He drummed his fingers on the closest available surface.

In the meantime, Seokjin dealt with a customer.

“Hey, how much is this one?” He asked his housemate/coworker/friend.

Jeongguk was racking his brains trying to come up with an answer, he didn’t precisely need another thing on his mind.

“I’m in the middle of something here.” He pointed at the phone.

“Well, smartass you sold the one copy we had with a price tag.”

“Sir, are you still there?”

“Yes… Just a moment.” He held the phone against his chest. “What?!”

“Price tag…” He pointed at a book cover.

High Fidelity.

“What’s that character’s name?”

Seokjin frowned. “What?”

“The main character! What’s his name?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t read it.”

“Can you please look at the back?”

“You know I can’t read without my glasses.”

“TRY.”

Seokjin squinted as he read the back. “Fleming?”

Jeongguk almost dropped the plastic red phone, thank God for that silly cord.

“Fleming! Rob Fleming!? I’m looking for Rob Fleming!” He was panting. “Does the name ‘Rob Fleming’ mean anything to you?”

“I'll put you right through, sir.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened twice its size.

He cleared his throat while getting in line.

“Hello…” Too formal. “Hi…” A bit stiff. “Hi-”

“ Hi.”

It was him. Taehyung. Kim Taehyung.

“Oh, hi. I’m Jeon Jeongguk, we met… I work at the bookstore you might… remember me?”

“ Took you long enough to get back. Playing it cool or something, huh?”

“No! No, I've never played anything cool in my entire life.” That was not a good thing to say.

“ Right…”

“I’m not the best at doing a small talk on the phone, maybe I can go over there and we could have a cup of coffee? Tea? A Slurpee? Forget that I said that, I don’t even know why I’d bring that up…”

“Uh… unfortunately, things are going to be pretty busy today, but... okay, let's give it a try. Four o'clock could be good. ”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really… don’t ruin it, Jeon Jeongguk.”

He hung up.

Jeongguk was speechless.

“Hey, loverboy,” Seokjin threw a paper ball at him. “the price?”

♢

Were the flowers too much?

A movie star should be used to receive flowers.

It was a dumb gift.

But of course, there was no place to dump a sunflower bouquet in the hallway of the hotel.

He was about to knock on the door, his palms were sweaty already when he spotted someone else waiting outside —a polished suited man who kept looking at the clock on his wrist.

“Uh… are you…?”

“Oh, no, go ahead.” He said as if it was nothing.

“Alright…?”

Jeongguk knocked and right away a woman with slick hair and a pencil skirt opened the door. She looked agitated.

“Hello, I'm Sohee. My apologies, things are running a bit late. Here's the thing…” She handed both of them expensively produced press kits, along with a black and white picture of Taehyung with the words ‘ Il Mare ’ written in one corner.

Jeongguk wanted to say something but not only he was confused, he had the impression it was one of those situations where it was better to keep his mouth shouted.

They were guided into a waiting room with some other journalists.

“What did you think of the early screening?”

“Well, the story is solid but the acting is what sells it. Having Kim Taehyung as the leading man is always a sign the audience is in for a treat. There’s no doubt they could get an Academy Award nomination.”

They both turned to Jeongguk looking forward to hearing his opinion as well.

“No, yeah… agree. They could win an Oscar too.”

Sohee lifted an eyebrow. “I'm sorry.  I didn't get down what magazines you're from.”

“I’m a Forbes correspondent.” The fancy suit man replied.

“Great. And you are…?”

“I’m from… The Seoul… Gazette. Jeon Jeongguk from The Seoul Gazette .”

“The Seoul Gazette? We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“Ah, well, he might be expecting me.”

“Alright, please take a seat. I'll check.”

They both sat down on a large burgundy sofa.

The journalist from Forbes frowned when he spotted the flower bouquet.

“Did you bring Kim Taehyung flowers?”

“N-No… of course no, they’re for my grandmother. She's in a hospital nearby. Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone.” That expression surely wasn’t the most adequate considering his alibi.

“Mr. Jeon,” Sohee called. “Come with me.”

Thank God.

She walked him through another hallway until they reached a smaller room.

“You have five minutes.” She said before opening the door.

Jeongguk entered the room holding his breath without knowing what to expect.

Taehyung was in the middle of the room, backward, staring at the window overlooking the sea. The scene itself looked like a movie poster, but once again, when you’re a star every frame must look like an epic shot. He was wearing a perfectly tailored three-piece suit that gave him a professional appearance along with the perfectly styled gelled hairstyle he had.

His face lit up the moment he turned around and met Jeongguk’s eyes.

“Hi.” Jeongguk let out of his chest like a sigh of relief.

“Hello,” Taehyung replied, holding back part of his excitement.

How was it possible that two simple words like ‘hi’ and ‘hello’, a pair of the most common greetings in the language could also hold the meaning of every word in the world? They pronounced them yet they said so much more.

Jeongguk looked away first, unable to keep staring at him any longer. His fingers wandered through a wooden bureau, when he lifted his gaze the first thing he noticed was the resemblance to a small flower shop. The place was overflowing with the fragrance of gigantic floral arrangements of various shapes placed all over the room. Suddenly, his discreet sunflower handful felt small in comparison.

“I brought you these, but clearly…”

“Oh no, these are great.” It took just a couple of strides to be right next to him. It was the first time Jeongguk noticed they were about the same height.

Taehyung hurried to rescue the flowers from Jeongguk’s strong grip before he could condemn them to a prematurely withering inside the nearest trash can.

“Sorry about not calling back right away. My secretary did not give me the memo… he thought it was a prank call.”

“Oh, don’t worry. It's a stupid privacy thing. I always choose a fictional character. Last time out I was Romeo Montesco; I’ve been Jack Dawson, Jimmy Conway… Ash Ketchum .” 

He blushed, a bit embarrassed. A strange sight but equally delighting.

At that moment, one of the PR staff members walked in unannounced. Like Sohee, he carried a list in his hands but his eyes were much more severe, unlike the young woman that helped Jeongguk before.

“Is everything alright over here, Mr. Kim?” He asked in an extremely polite way that commanded authority but also respect.

“Yes, thank you,” Taehyung replied.

He took a look at Jeongguk, inspecting him. “And you are from The Seoul Gazette?”

Jeongguk nodded.

“Is that so?” The actor lifted an eyebrow.

The man didn’t move any centimeter so it was clear that Jeongguk had to play the part. Therefore, they ended up sitting in chairs opposite each other.

“Right. So... the film's great… for an early screening. I guess there’s still some editing and reshooting to do but…” He scratched the back of his head. “Have you enjoyed staying here… working here?”

“Well, yes… It’s not my first time. A few years ago I worked with Kim Jee-woon; different scenery, more of a coniferous forest. You could say I like the seashore more… there are many incredible sights . Besides, local residents are quite friendly.”

Jeongguk gulped.

“When they are not throwing beverages at you.” He mumbled in a tone only the other boy could hear.

The ‘journalist’ coughed and silently thanked having a fancy bottle of water in front of him.

The PR man left the room for a moment, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

“I'm sorry. When I arrived they gave me this press pass and I didn't know what to do.”

“No, it's my fault, I thought this would all be over by now. I just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing. I seriously don't know what got into me. I just wanted to make sure you were fine about it.” Taehyung assured. “Also, I should say you’re not half bad at this.”

“Thanks… and I’m absolutely fine about it. The kiss… thing.”

The man walked back into the room.

“Do remember that Mr. Kim is also keen to talk about his next project, which is shooting next year, during the summer.”

“Oh, right… my readers are looking forward to your next project which is…”

“The movie with Paul Thomas Anderson?”

“Yes. The famous…”

“...Director.”

“You’ve said it yourself!”

Sohee, like an angel sent to Earth, called for the PR man who left the room once again, and hopefully, for good.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to intrude or anything. I can’t believe I’m here with you. This is the sort of thing that happens in dreams not in real life. Good dreams, obviously… If it was a nightmare I’d have no teeth or being chased by a serial killer… What I’m trying to say is that it's a dream to see you again.”

Taehyung smiled, showing up his perky cheeks.

“And what happens next?” He asked.

“Huh?” Jeongguk was still processing the entire situation.

“In the dream?”

“Well, I suppose in the dream scenario. I would... change my personality, I’d be more daring because you can do that in dreams… and walk across and kiss the boy but you know it'll never happen.”

Taehyung smile grew bigger, he bit his lips before leaning forward.

But then another member of the staff walked in.

“Alright. Time's up, I'm afraid. Sorry, it was so short. Did you get what you wanted?”

“Very nearly.”

“Maybe time for one last question?” Sohee ventured, grabbing the man by the arm and giving them a couple more seconds.

“Last question… Are you busy tonight?”

“Yes.” He said as if it was the most devastating line of his life and maybe it was.

They looked at each other for an instant that lasted an eternity. The PR man entered with other journalists in tow. Taehyung and Jeongguk stood and shook hands formally.

“Well, it was nice to meet you. Surreal but nice .”

Taehyung squeezed his hand one last time before Jeongguk left the room. They were no good with goodbyes.

Again in the hallway, Jeongguk spotted that one Forbes guy.

“Hey, how was it?”

“Great… yeah…”

The man frowned. “Wait… did he? Did he take your grandmother's flowers?”

He didn’t know what to say so he went ahead with the first thing he got. “I know… what a strange man.”

♢

Jeongguk decided to explore a bit more of the hotel, hoping he might come across the bar. Since he was probably never returning there, the least he could do was order an overly expensive drink to crown the end of another bizarre day in his life.

Cool people in movies always drank whisky so he ordered a Boulevardier to look fancy. Except he didn’t drink Bourbon and the drink was too strong for his taste. He would have to wait until the ice melted.

“Mr. Jeon?” The voice of a woman caught his attention. It was Taehyung’s assistant, Sohee.

“Yes?”

“Do you have a moment?”

Three minutes later he was on the elevator and four minutes later he was knocking on the door of Taehyung’s suite.

“Come in.”

Jeongguk took a deep breath before opening the door.

They were finally alone.

Taehyung looked more relaxed, a couple of his buttons were undone and his dark brown hair was slightly tousled but maybe the most prominent thing was that all the reporters were gone.

“So… That thing I was doing tonight, I'm not doing it anymore. I cleaned my schedule to spend time with one of the journalists. I hope the other ones don’t get jealous.”

Jeongguk felt his face warming up.

“I wish we could hang out and I know this is going to sound dumb but it’s one of my friend’s birthdays and I promised to be there.”

“Oh… alright.”

“But no, I'm sure I can get out of it. I’ll just make a call I’m sure he’ll understand…”

Jimin was going to kick his ass if he missed his birthday.

“No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll… you know, be your date.”

“You'll be my date at my friend’s lame birthday party?”

“If that's all right with you.”

“I'm sure it's all right. There’s going to be a lot of food and drinks, something quite small actually.”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Okay… I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Jeongguk smiled all the way home.

ǀ 4 ǀ

“Jeongguk’s bringing someone.”

“He’s bringing someone?”

“Miracles do happen.”

“Do they have a name?”

“He wouldn't say.”

Hoseok and Namjoon exchanged a concerned look. They never knew what to expect when it came to Jeongguk.

“Have you heard about Jimin?”

“Yoongi’s picking him up from work. They’re going to drop by to buy more booze.”

“Oh, good. With Jeongguk’s extra guest, it’ll be needed.”

“Well, do you need me to help with something? I can peel the vegetables or...”

Hoseok opened his mouth and then shut it. “I have explicit instructions to keep you as far from the kitchen as possible. But you can help set the tables and the equipment outside.”

“Is this about the barbecue we did last month? I already apologized about that but in my defense, that chicken was well-cooked.”

“I’ll give you that it was roasted… completely.”

“Fire torches are hard to use.”

“Because you should use it to turn on the fire, not to cook an entire chicken.”

“Oh.”

At that moment, someone knocked on the door.

“Let’s go, it might be Jeongguk with his mysterious guest.” Hoseok rushed to the entrance door.

It was so exciting neither of them wanted to look through the peephole.

Namjoon cleared his throat. “Who is it?”

“Jeongguk.”

Hoseok opened the door with one movement.

“Jeongguk and-”

All of sudden, Hoseok slammed the door in the face of the younger.

“Hey, why did you do that?” A very confused Namjoon asked. “I didn’t even catch a glimpse, what happened?”

“Hobi-hyung? Hello?” Jeongguk looked like a cartoon character with his giant eyes through the peephole.

Hoseok looked like he had seen a ghost.

“What was that? Did you just close the door on their faces?”

“J-J-J-J-J-Jeongguk….” He began explaining.

“What’s with him?”

Outside the door, Jeongguk and Taehyung exchanged a look.

“They do this all the time… it’s an inside joke.”

The door opened again.

“Jeongguk, hi!” Namjoon shook his head. “For a moment I thought… ‘cause he looks like…”

“Hyung, this is Kim Taehyung.” Jeongguk introduced them.

“Hi!” Taehyung waved as the most casual thing in the world. “I’m Taehyung.”

Jeongguk had known Namjoon for ages but this was the first time he had seen him speechless. He also could swear Hoseok had just squeaked behind the door.

“Please, come in.” Namjoon went back to his host facade.

“I didn’t know what to bring so I brought a bottle of wine,” Taehyung mentioned, shyly and absolutely endearingly.

“That’s perfect. Wine is Jimin’s favorite thing in the world anyway.”

“This is Hobi-hyung… Hoseok.” Jeongguk pointed at his other hyung in the room.

“Hello, I’m Taehyung.”

“I know.” Hoseok shook his hand. “I mean… I’m sorry… I’m Jung Hoseok, partial owner of this house.”

Jeongguk and Taehyung took off their shoes and borrowed a couple of loafers from the entrance hall. Jeongguk could tell that Taehyung enjoyed being barefoot by the way he rushed to change his shoes.

“Are we the firsts to arrive?” Jeongguk asked diverting the attention from the elephant (Taehyung) in the room.

“Y-Yes.” Namjoon nodded. “Jimin and Yoongi were picking some stuff and Seokjin told us it’s his time to close, right?”

“That’s correct.”

“It’s a lovely house.” Taehyung complimented.

“Thank you… It took some time to be on the same page since all of our styles are so different.”

They all get to the kitchen. Jeongguk was so happy he couldn’t hide it, it was written all over his face.

The door rang again.

“That must be Jimin and Yoongi. Just a second.” Hoseok hurried to open the door again.

“Is there any other day with a horrible traffic jam or is it for my birthday? I swear to God since they started that filming thing, getting here is a nightmare.”

Hoseok couldn’t begin explaining what was going on in the kitchen.

“What’s with your face? No happy birthday whatsoever?”

“Happy birthday! Oh my God, I’m sorry.” Hoseok pulled the younger into a hug. “Sorry… I don’t know how to say this but… Jeongguk brought someone to dinner...”

“Finally. Now he can get car rides from someone else… he always sits in the middle of the backseat as if he was a toddler. Are they alright? Dating Jeongguk… it must be someone special.”

“Oh, you have no idea…”

They entered the kitchen.

“Hi guys, how we…” His eyes found Taehyung’s face. “Holy fuck.”

“Jimin… this is Taehyung. Taehyung, this is Jimin, the guest of honor.”

“Hi.”

Jimin paused for a second, waiting for some kind of plot twist in that situation, like a hidden camera of some kind.

“Okay… I’ll use the next minute to be an irritating fan, and then I’ll proceed to be normal the rest of the night,” Jimin said in the calmest tone in the world but then it escalated as he went off. “I loved that movie you did two years ago with Tarantino, and you did an amazing job in Natural Born Killers and Fargo . They one hundred percent swiped that Oscar nomination you earned. And don’t let me start on that music video with Madonna, how’s she? Is she small? She looked quite short next to you… Listen, I know I might sound delusional but believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. Feels like I’ve known you for all my life.”

“I’d say, her height is pretty average but her attitude closes the deal. Happy Birthday, by the way.” Taehyung replied, completely chill about it. 

He seemed to be used to people proclaiming to be his new best friends.

Then he extended a little gift bag toward Jimin.

“Oh, my God. You brought me a present. We're best friends already, I called it first.” He got closer and whispered. “Marry Jeongguk, he's a really nice guy and then we can be besties.”

“I’ll think about that.”

Someone opened the front door, presumably Yoongi.

“Don’t worry, darling. I got it.” He said as he walked into the kitchen with a ton of bags hanging on his side.

Namjoon and Hoseok went to help him.

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jeongguk called. “This is Taehyung.”

“Hi, Taehyung, nice to meet you.” He said while extending his free hand by the time the others took off some paper bags to the counter. Then he turned to Jimin. “I know it’s your birthday but would it kill you to help me with the bags sometime?”

“You waved to me and I assumed you meant for me to go inside.”

“It was a ‘help me’ type of waving, as in, c’mon and help me… ” Yoongi repeated the gesture. “Does it look like I’m saying go ahead? Namjoon? Jeongguk?”

“... it looks like you’re telling him to go ahead.” The wisest person in the group pointed out.

“Ah, really?” Yoongi frowned. “Anyway… I brought a new opener because the one we have here sucks. When an old thing gets all rusty you’re supposed to get rid of it, don’t you know?”

“It works perfectly fine,” Hoseok argued.

“Last time a piece of it fell on my glass.” Jimin crossed his arms on his chest. “I’m not taking any chances.”

Taehyung looked rather amused by the situation and thankfully didn’t catch Jeongguk staring with his fond eyes.

Five minutes later, they all were in the garden - can you believe the low price of the properties around? truly, a wonder - the air was cool for a light sweater but nice to hang out around outside, and the sky was packed with stars. Someone cheered when the first bottle of wine got opened. Namjoon and Hoseok had done a great job creating a relaxed environment with some ambient lights hanging from the ceiling and low-fi music playing in the background, crickets still could be heard along with a faint murmur of the seashore.

Jeongguk noticed it was the first time he saw Taehyung loosen up with people. His posture had changed since they first walked in and it was all because of his very amicable group of friends (and maybe the effects of a well-rounded pinot noir).

As he helped the others to set up the grill, the conversation flowed naturally with his friends, Jimin did his best to remain composed when they chat but, as a premonition, they were getting along like old friends.

Once the fire was lit, Yoongi took a break to take a sip of his whiskey glass and join the exhilarating conversations.

“So tell me, Taehyung, what do you do?” Yoongi asked, unaware of anything.

“I’m an actor.”

“That must be nice. I didn’t like desk jobs either, I tell Jimin he should quit all the time. But he likes Math and and numbers, not everyone can say that so I guess it’s a win for society. I work with music and that’s what feels correct for me so I guess it must be the same for him. What sort of acting do you do?”

“Films mainly.” Taehyung took a sip of his glass.

He was a hell of a good actor because no one else would hide a cheeky smile with such ease as he did.

“Oh, I see. That must be going steady. If you don’t mind me asking, how's the pay for movies? I mean, the last film you did, what did you get paid for?”

“Fifteen million dollars.”

“Right. Right. So that's... fairly good.”

“I don’t complain.”

Yoongi then rushed to keep Namjoon away from a fire torch.

“Excuse me, can I use your restroom?” Taehyung asked Hoseok.

“Sure, sure… it's down the corridor on the right. You won’t get lost.”

“Thank you.”

There was a brief moment of silence until Taehyung disappeared inside the house.

Jimin grabbed Jeongguk by his shirt. “Quickly, quickly. Talk very quickly what are you doing here with Kim Taehyung?”

Yoongi tilted his head. “Kim Taehyung?”

“Yes!”

“The movie star?”

“Yes!”

“Oh…”

Jeongguk stared at his friend as his previous conversation unfolded.

He frowned. “I poured that shitty pinot noir to him.”

“Is that really the part you’re concerned about?” Jimin clocked.

About half an hour later, Seokjin finally arrived with the cake.

“Jimin I swear to God you always manage to find the most remote bakery shops because what do you mean it took me forty-five minutes to get there and half-hour to come back.” He put the cake inside the fridge. “Happy birthday, hideous bastard.”

“I hope that’s on the cake.” Jimin smiled deviously.

“It only says ‘devil’s spawn’.”

“You’re not going to believe it,” Hoseok whispered when he walked into the kitchen. “Kim Taehyung is here. He came as Jeongguk’s date.”

“Oh, I know.” Seokjin stole a snack from the fridge. “He dropped by the house the other day.”

“What?! And you haven’t told us?!” Jimin exclaimed.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.” He shrugged. “Plus, you never call. If you’ve called I’d told you.”

The sun went down as the evening continued. Little sparks flew from the bonfire and the delicious smell of grilled meat and vegetables flood the garden. Stars began showing up and the wine started to decrease gradually. Taehyung drank cheap wine until his face was red and laughed at their jokes until his cheek hurt; they sang happy birthday to Jimin and looked at him unwrapping their gifts; they listened to old songs trying to remember the titles and who sang them and they played nonsensical drinking games until it was time to go.

Taehyung was truly content, he never got to spend time with friends -even if they were Jeongguk’s friends-, they were relaxed, easy, teasing… And there was Jeongguk there, making him feel part of it, providing extra context to their anecdotes, being embarrassed to the point of putting his head in his hands with mock shame, and sharing that charming smile of his.

Some of them drank coffee and others continued sipping whiskey or brandy.

“Well, it’s time to leave.” Jeongguk grabbed their coats from the rack and headed to the door.

“That was such a great evening.” Taehyung put his coat on helped by Jeongguk. “It was lovely to meet you all.”

“Thank you so much for coming.” Namjoon patted his back.

Jimin -drunk Jimin- stepped in and grabbed Taehyung’s hands. “Ring me if you need someone to go shopping with. I know the best places around and they’ll give us both a big discount… not that money is…” He paused. “Nice to meet you.”

Yoongi waved as well. “Love your work.”

They moved to the door and waved goodbye.

Taehyung and Jeongguk stepped outside. From inside they heard a massive and hysterical scream from the group of friends. The younger couldn’t hide his embarrassment as he blushed violently.

“Sorry, they always do that when I leave the house. It’s a common thing here… A custom….”

With such a beautiful night, they walked a little through the night. The streets were empty and the houses around had their lights on. 

“I like your friends, they are nice.”

“They are not bad. I wish I could say they are not always like this but the reality is… they are.”

“I enjoyed it. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming. I didn’t expect you to say yes… you probably have a lot of fancier, more glamorous places to be.”

Taehyung clicked his tongue. “Not quite.”

They were around the corner from Jeongguk’s place.

“Uh, my place is… right there… do you want to hang out or…?”

He smiled and shook his head. “Too complicated.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Jeongguk started walking slower.

“So… are you busy tomorrow?” Taehyung asked.

“I thought you were leaving.”

The older boy avoided his gaze. 

“I was.”

Jeongguk wished he could pause time as they approach the entrance stairs of the house.

“Can I call you?”

“I hope you do.”

“I will.”

Jeongguk should search for his keys.

“Can I call you a taxi or something?”

“Don’t worry. I have a car waiting for me.”

“Okay…”

“Thank you for tonight.” 

Under the dim yellow lamp, Taehyung pressed a sweet short kiss on his cheek.

Jeongguk’s heart stopped for a moment, at least it felt like that or maybe it was that they had discovered how to pause time.

ǀ 5 ǀ

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…”

“Do I wanna know?” Seokjin was watching TV in the living room.

“Have you seen my glasses? I forgot my lenses at the store and I can’t find my glasses.” He ran from one room to another. “And I’m already late… so late .”

“That’s what happens when you spend all night on the phone with a Hollywood actor… you oversleep.”

“It wasn’t all night.”

“The birds were chirping by the time you hung up.”

“Focus, hyung. The glasses… Have you seen them?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t.”

“This happens every time I go to the cinema. Any day… Any day, my glasses are everywhere, everywhere I look, glasses. But the moment I need them they disappear.”

“Have you checked the table next to the door?”

“Have I checked the table next to the door? Of course, I checked the table next to the… oh.” There was a long silence in the other room. “They are on the table next to the door… at Namjoon’s… where I forgot them last time.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You didn’t-”

“You’re still running late.”

“Shit.”

♢

Jeongguk and Taehyung watched a sci-fi movie and Taehyung whispered in detail how some scenes were made. Every time he got closer to Jeongguk to tell him something else, the younger’s skin crawled, his breath tickled his cheek and his proximity felt warm.

To be completely honest, Jeongguk had lost track of the film long ago.

He also appreciated the fact that Taehyung hadn’t made fun of the scuba diving goggles magnifying lenses.

By the time the movie was over, it was nighttime already. And since Jeongguk had bragged about the street food of the shore, they walked around the pier picking up different dishes. They had tteokbokki with fishcakes to go, some fried snacks, a couple of dumplings each, and roasted sweet potatoes wrapped in foiled paper. 

Taehyung was partially covered with a large scarf and a puffer jacket and a black knitted hat he had bought specifically because it reminded him of the one Jean Reno wore on Léon: The Professional. As far as Jeongguk knew, it could’ve been the same one he wore for the movie.

It was a cold full moon night, the type of fall night that would inspire haikus.

Jeongguk caught his date staring at the sleepy boats nearby the pier.

“Should we walk through the beach?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “Can we?”

“Of course. There’s an entrance nearby.”

“Then, let’s go.”

There was something very special about the beach at night. Maybe it was the giant reflection of the moon playing hide and seek with the clouds, maybe it was the sound of the waves crashing on the sand even when they couldn't be seen, maybe it was the salt in the air that tasted just like home. Whatever it was, there was something about the ocean itself, or maybe it had always been like that but for some reason, it was like seeing it for the first time.

Maybe the fact that he was with Taehyung had something to do.

…or everything to do.

“Ah, this is amazing.” Taehyung smiled like a child.

The actor kneeled and started taking off his shoes.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing cold.” Jeongguk rubbed his hands together to exaggerate his words.

“It’s not that cold. Besides, this is the best part of walking through the beach.” He grabbed his expensive designer boots with one hand and buried his feet deep in the slippery sands.

Then he looked at Jeongguk, waiting for him to follow his steps.

“No way.”

“C’mon. I’ll feel dumb if you don’t join me.”

Jeongguk kept his hands in his pockets.

Taehyung extended his hand as an invitation.

The younger sighed and gave in less than a minute later.

“If I get a cold…”

“You won’t.”

The sand was cold, colder than he expected it but the ticklish sensation of walking barefoot compensated that little detail. Besides, Taehyung’s hand kept him warm from head to toe.

They walked -if it could be called walking, more like plodding- until they were closer to the ocean waves. The moon in the distance drew figures on the surface with borrowed light. The water was even colder than the sand but at that point, it had stopped being a problem for any of them. They were still holding hands with their fingers intertwined.

“This is perfect… a perfect night,” Taehyung said, in a low tone almost whispering.

“Indeed it is.”

They looked at each other and with the faint breeze blowing and the moon as their only witness, they kissed.

This kiss was different from the first one. It began as sweetly as the one they shared when they first met, but they were no longer strangers, their lips meet again as if they had known each other for a while. They became fiery, more passionate, and before they could tell, they were making out. Jeongguk’s hand slid underneath Taehyung’s jacket and brought him closer, their faces almost bumped into each other’s and their teeth definitely touched but it didn’t matter, as the kiss grew deeper, there were fewer things that could keep them apart. Even when they lost balance and ended up being embraced by the sand. They shared a burst of brief laughter until they started kissing again.

Saying goodbye that night was going to be hard.

So they didn’t.

♢

Jeongguk didn’t know what would it be like for Taehyung to wake up in his room. He’d probably think that the walls needed a new coat of paint, even though they had been white since the moment he occupied the spare room. Maybe he’d be confused about the piles of books around the room that were just stacked there, -in his defense, he had a bookshelf but it was the same bookshelf he took from home when he first move out of his parent's house so it made sense that it didn’t hold up after all those years- or maybe he’d take a look at his wardrobe and judged him based on his collection of plain shirts and dark pants that made him look like a church boy -it had been a massive deal.

Little he knew the first thing Taehyung noticed when he opened his eyes was Jeongguk’s doe eyes, his sleepy face, and his curly hair falling adorably on his forehead. His naked torso was covered by the blanket they shared as if he was some sort of prude as if Taehyung hadn’t seen it all the night before. He found the younger’s coyness endearing.

“Hi,” Jeongguk mumbled.

“Hi,” Taehyung rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Early… very early.”

“Good.” Taehyung buried his face in Jeongguk’s chest.

Jeongguk wrapped him in his arms and they dozed up until the sun was up and it was time for Taehyung to go.

They kissed goodbye at the door and that sealed their perfect date.

“Look at you…” Seokjin whistled when the younger walked into the kitchen. He folded the newspaper he was reading. “Someone got lucky.”

“Kinda…” Jeongguk poured some coffee.

“How was it?”

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Alright.” He was about to resume his reading when his housemate dragged the chair next to him.

“It was amazing.” Then he sighed.

“What’s the problem? You just said it was amazing.”

“Nothing’s wrong. It’s only… He's someone… special. I’m happier than ever, it’s like being dizzy all the time after spinning a lot.”

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming…”

“But… I’m not sure he feels the same way.”

Seokjin sipped his coffee. “He did spend the night here, you know?”

“I know, I can’t believe it either but that doesn’t mean he sees me the same way.”

“I think you should tell him how you’re feeling,” Jin stated.

“That doesn’t sound intimidating at all.”

“You can do it.”

“Okay… expert. Suppose I tell him, how would I even bring that up?”

His housemate thought about it for a second, then he stood up and searched for something inside one of the cans in the cupboard. A bunch of keys appeared in front of Jeongguk.

He frowned but then he recognized the keychain that came attached.

“Are you for real?”

“Aren’t you glad I forced you to get a permit?”

♢

Taehyung walked down the pier looking like he had come out of a fashion magazine. Seeing his tan skin in daylight was breathtaking; he was wearing a v-neck white knitted sweater, bermuda shorts, and a pair of dark glasses. He looked so effortlessly cool, Jeongguk had to take a moment to contemplate him.

“So… I’m here,” Taehyung announced. “What’s the big mystery?”

“I have a surprise… come with me.” He led the way.

“Are we going on a trip in one of these?” He pointed at the fishing boats that were around.

“Just a couple more steps…”

They spotted some expensive speedboats getting cleaned but they walked past those until they were in front of a picturesque little sailboat.

“Please ignore the name.”

Taehyung looked at one of the sides where the words ‘S.V. E-FISH-ENT’ were painted in blue cursive.

“Should I ask?”

“Jin thought it was funny. You should’ve heard the alternatives...”

“Noted.”

“So… this is today’s plan. I’m sorry it’s not a yacht or a cruise through The Bahamas.”

Taehyung shook his head. “No, it’s exactly what I wanna do.”

“Good… because I don’t have a permit for bigger boats.”

“I do. I got mine shooting a film a couple of years ago. I played the role of a poker player and the last part is set in a giant cruise ship with a big escape and everything… I didn’t need to learn it but I wanted to.”

“That’s great! It means that we both are at full capacity to sail today.”

“Reporting for duty, captain.”

Jeongguk chuckled. “Welcome on board.”

Taehyung wasn’t lying when he said he had some sailor training. He knew about ropes and commands, he knew boat technicalities and… stuff… and being completely honest, it was kind of hot.

The boat was small, perfect for two people and no one else. They had their orange lifejackets and sunscreen on, the wind was blowing making the sails flutter; the town looked distant on the horizon, although they weren’t that far either. 

Once they were in stable waters, they ate some sandwiches Jeongguk had bought at the convenience store and drank the fresh juice Taehyung had brought as well. They spotted some seagulls and what looked like a shoal of fishes swimming around. Other boats were near the shore too, fishing, mostly. Jeongguk recognized some of the fishermen from the market, he knew for a fact that most of them started their work even before the sun came out.

After their snack, they continued a bit more until they found a sandbar where they could drop the anchor. At that place, the tiny waves barely swang the boat. They took a quick nap in the nook of the deck, placidly tangled, and the younger fell asleep with Taehyung’s soft strokes. Later, when they woke up, Jeongguk pulled out his camera with him and decided it was the perfect time to take some pictures of the scenery.

“I didn’t know you were into photography,” Taehyung commented as he touched the water’s surface with one hand.

“It’s a hobby. I love books and everything but after I started working at the store it has become a job and sometimes I get tired. Photography instead… it’s something I do with no further worries.”

“I get it.”

“What about you?” Jeongguk turned around, the camera still in his hands. “Do you ever get tired of being an actor?”

Taehyung stared directly at the lens; Jeongguk clicked the button.

“No. I think that’s why I like being an actor, to begin with. I get to play different parts, different characters every time. I never get bored because I might be playing a hero one day and a villain the next… or maybe I’m in space or in a different era… who knows? The fact that it’s unpredictable keeps me interested, I believe.”

“I can understand that too.”

“You have your life here. I mean, you’re pretty settled, aren’t you?”

“I mean… I was born in a different town, about an hour from here. I moved to Seoul to study and that was alright. It’s a big city and I got my dose of that, you know? I felt like I couldn’t live with my parents after living alone and well, Namjoon-hyung -whom I met in college- introduced me to Seokjin-hyung and we moved in together.”

“Really? I thought you knew each other from way before.”

“No,” He shook his head. “I… Don’t laugh but Namjoon-hyung used to be a TA when I was a sophomore and I had the biggest crush on him.”

Taehyung arched a brow. “Oh really? Should I be worried about it?”

“No! No… that was… a long time ago.” Jeongguk blushed. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Alright. I believe you.” 

“Seokjin needed a housemate and I needed a place to stay and then… one of his workers resigned so the vacant was open…”

“At least it’s a good job. Imagine if it was something you hated… or imagine if it was a bookstore that only sells one type of books like bibles or travel guides.”

“That wouldn’t be profitable.”

They laughed and when they stopped, their smiles stayed.

Taehyung looked at the sky and then back at Jeongguk. “They are very nice, your friends… they made me feel welcome right away.”

“Yeah, I’m glad they did. I was so nervous about that too.”

“People usually like me only for my looks or my money but with them, every interaction felt… genuine. Same with you. I guess I kinda felt it since the first moment we met.”

“Oh. Really? I didn’t know.”

Taehyung bit his lips with a sour expression. “It’s my fault. I’m used to keeping things for myself and sort of protecting myself. So I doubt about everything and everyone at first, it’s like a shell.”

“I see.”

It made sense. He had seen Taehyung being honest now and the past couple of days, opened up little by little and because of that, Jeongguk felt he owed him the same.

“Taehyung…” He began. “There’s something I want to tell you...”

Taehyung looked at him; Jeongguk could see himself reflecting in his brown eyes.

He took a deep breath.

“I-”

Before he could say something else, the radio of the boat started emitting sounds, alerting all sailors to return to the bay. Apparently, a storm was coming. They hastily pulled the anchor up, opened the sails again, and returned to the pier before anything happened. Suddenly, in the clear sky, large charged clouds appeared and a light drizzle started.

By the time they got to the beach, rain poured over them until they found shelter under a gazebo. They couldn’t help but laugh out loud even when they were out of breath. The situation was ridiculous and they had barely escaped the downpour that came after. Some droplets fell from their hair, their clothes weren’t completely soaked.

They rested a little until they recovered from the running. Taehyung held his belly with both hands, it hurt from laughing so much.

“That was… so much fun.” He commented a moment later.

“Glad you think that way.”

With just a smile, Jeongguk knew he was gonna kiss him. That smirk was unmistakable.

Taehyung pulled him closer, grabbed him by the collarbone of his t-shirt, and pressed a full kiss on his lips. Jeongguk held him by the waist as the older boy cupped his face with his hands. The sound of the rain was so loud that cars in the distance couldn’t be heard at all, it was like they were lost under the ocean and no one could get to them.

When they parted, they were breathless, for different reasons this time.

“Hey, what was that thing that you wanted to say?” Taehyung talked to him just a couple of centimeters away from his face.

Jeongguk couldn’t lie to his eyes when they were that close.

“I like you.” He admitted. “I really like you.”

“Oh.”

“I want to be with you.”

Taehyung wanted to say something but he didn’t know where to begin.

“Taehyung?”

He took a step away. Jeongguk sensed something was not okay.

“Jeongguk… you are… amazing. I cannot begin to name all the good things you have and you are…”

“But…”

“But … I can’t be with you.”

“Whoa…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m… very confused right now. If you don’t want to be with me… what… what is this?”

“I like you, I really do but… It’s not going to work.”

“Why?”

“Because… to begin with… I’m dating someone already.”

“What?!”

Jeongguk could feel his heart breaking inside his chest. He could feel his ribcage falling piece by piece into the void that had opened inside his chest like a black hole that sucked everything from the interior.

Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair and pulled them back. He took a deep breath.

“I’m officially dating an actress. My costar of the movie, Jun Jihyun.”

“H-How? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Listen, it’s not real. We’re ‘dating’ to promote the movie. It’s a thing, a PR move.”

“Still… I don’t understand.”

“Look, we’ll date for a while and then break up. I’ve done it before.” He walked around, looking for the right words. “I’m out… everybody knows… I’ve dated several women and I dated some of them for real but… my agency and no one in Hollywood is very thrilled to see me dating a guy so I have to be discreet.”

“Why would you…? What are we doing?”

Taehyung looked at him with pity in his eyes. Jeongguk wasn’t sure how, but he knew he was about to break his heart again.

“We can’t be together. It’ll never work out.” He sobbed. “These past weeks were… out of this world but… I’ll leave in a week and you’ll be here and that will be it. It will be over for us.”

“You don’t even want to try it?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to… I did. I’ve already done this and it never works. Long-distance relationships never do. We’re like twelve hours apart and I’ll be out a lot… I can’t guarantee anything… that’s why, we can’t be together.”

“If things are like this… Then there’s nothing I can do, can’t I?”

“I don’t know what else to say.”

“I think goodbye is traditional.”

Jeongguk walked straight to the rain without even caring about it.

That afternoon, as the sun started setting and the dark time began, he left Taehyung there and did not look back.

ǀ 6 ǀ

“Okay, that’s enough.” Seokjin unplugged the radio. “You’re going to ruin my Roxette CD if you keep listening to that song.”

Jeongguk had merged with the sofa cushions at that point.

“Play it again…”

“No. This is enough.” His housemate turned on the lights. “I cannot stand this anymore. You’ve been down for a week now.”

“This is exactly where I want to be.”

“Make room for me,” Seokjin said as he pushed the younger a little bit to sit next to him. “Last week you came back from the boat ride completely soaked and you caught a cold because you fought with your boyfriend...”

Jeongguk grunted. “He’s not my boyfriend, he was never my boyfriend and he’s never going to be my boyfriend. He made that clear.”

“Okay, the cold got better so would please explain to me what the hell happened? You were all lovey-dovey one day and now you’re… well, whatever this is.”

Jeongguk rested his head on Seokjin’s shoulder, he felt like a little child next to him.

“He’s someone I just can't… someone who... self-evidently can't be mine… but he made me happy, happier than ever… but in reality, I've opened Pandora's box. And there's trouble inside.”

“I see.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, actress Jun Jihyun. She’s very pretty.”

“You knew?”

“Everyone knew, Jeongguk.”

“I can't believe it… my whole life got ruined because I don't read 'Hello' magazine.” Jeongguk sighed. “He told me it was PR but… how can I believe that? I mean, it might be but that’s not the only problem. He doesn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with someone that lives in a different time zone.”

“Well, he’s busy and you’re… here.”

“He’s used to it. Breaking up with people… jump from one love affair to another just like that.” He snapped his fingers to make emphasis on his words. “I know he’s going to forget me as soon as he steps into that plane while I’ll hold onto his memory until the day I die.”

“It sucks, man. There might not be words to comfort you but… I and the others hate seeing you defeated like this. You need to get back on your feet but don’t do it for us, do it for yourself. I know it’s going to be hard and I know you miss him a lot but… the pain is going to go away eventually.”

“I hate feeling like this. I’ve cried a lot, I think I’m dried. I can’t cry anymore.”

“Good, that’s a good sign. Your body is telling you to move on.”

“What if I don’t want to move on?”

Seokjin patted his head. “You will. I know you will. But until then… allow yourself to feel all these feelings until you wake up one day and say ‘Enough!’, convince yourself into delusion if needed.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Now, get up and take a shower, you reak.”

♢

Two months passed since Taehyung left and with him the filming crew and a lot of the tourists that arrived with the hope of spotting a celebrity in their natural habitat. Or perhaps it was that winter was around the corner and no one liked a winter on the beach.

As much as he hated to admit it, Seokjin was right. Time did heal the wounds, although it was difficult to escape one of the most famous faces in the world; Taehyung was everywhere, in the magazines, in the newspapers, on TV, in the movies… but Jeongguk had learned to live with it, and recently, the vision didn’t hurt as it did before.

His friends thought that the idea of a good gesture was to set him on blind dates with new people and although Jeongguk had strongly opposed it in the first place, he had a nice conversation once in a while or maybe a good meal in a restaurant that he had never visited or maybe he discovered a new film in the cinema… so not all was lost.

He’d find someone new someday and that was the kind of hope that kept him going.

He didn’t regret his torrid and short-living romance with Taehyung and deep down, he hoped the actor didn’t regret it either.

On a new regular day, Jeongguk was getting ready to go to the bookstore when the bell rang. He stopped whatever he was doing to open the door and then…

There he was.

Kim Taehyung, knocking on his door.

He was wearing some sort of disguise, a big pair of dark sunglasses that covered a lot of his face, a knitted hat, and a giant trenchcoat that made him look like a private detective.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

Jeongguk thought he was hallucinating for a second but Taehyung was there, and he was expecting an answer. His heart skipped a beat.

“Come in,” he said before he could access that part of his brain with the list of reasons why he shouldn’t let him in.

Taehyung looked haggard. His hair underneath the hat was messy, there were bags under his eyes and overall, he didn’t look like his polished self.

“I must be the last person on Earth you’d like to see but… this thing … there are some photos from when I was younger and I dated another high-profile actor circulating and the rumors and everything are resurfacing…” He was on the verge of tears. “My entire career has been put under scrutiny and my private life is up to discussion for the public eye. I’m such a mess right now… I don't know where to go.”

“This is the place.”

Taehyung was in such a fragile state, he couldn’t let him go like that.

“Thank you… I hate this feeling, they are putting everything in the same bag as if it’s that simple…”

“Don't think about it. We’ll come up with a solution… in the meantime, can I offer you something? A cup of tea? A bath?”

“A bath actually sounds great.”

“I’ll set everything for you upstairs.”

“Thanks.”

After handing a fresh towel and a change of clothes to Taehyung, he went upstairs and Jeongguk headed to the phone to make a call.

“Hello?” Seokjin asked on the other side.

“Hyung, I can’t go to the store today, something came up…”

♢

Taehyung returned from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head and with Jeongguk’s Rocko’s Modern Life oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, he had washed earlier that week.

The younger was waiting with a hot cup of tea and some sweet-pressed cookies Seokjin had hidden in the cupboard specifically for Jeongguk not to eat them. Ha, as if.

Taehyung held the cup with both hands to warm them up.

“I went with black tea since I didn’t know if you have any preference…”

“No, it’s alright. I prefer black tea anyway… thank you.”

“Don’t worry.”

“I mean it… you didn’t have to welcome me here but you did.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you on the streets. What if some freak hit you with a Slurpee or worse, a milkshake.”

“Atrocious.” A glimpse of a smile appeared on his face.

Jeongguk had daydreamt about a possible reunion someday but he never expected it to become a reality.

Taehyung scanned the room and eventually, his eyes found something that drew his attention.

“I can't believe you have that picture on your wall.” He pointed at a poster of a Chagall painting of a floating wedding couple, with a goat as company.

“You like Chagall?”

“I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.”

“With a goat playing the violin.”

“Yes. happiness wouldn't be happiness without a violin-playing goat.”

They shared a moment locked in a pair of smiles.

“So… what have you been up to?” Jeongguk desperately searched for something to do with his hands.

“Besides my private life making numbers in all the tabloids, I’m searching for my next project.”

“Oh, any interesting?”

“I have been reading some scripts, yeah. Do you wanna help me?”

“With the scripts?”

Taehyung nodded. “I can read the premise to you and you can tell me what you think of it.”

“Alright.”

He reached for his bag and all of a sudden a pile of papers appeared on Jeongguk’s little table.

“Whoa… there are… quite a few.” He observed.

Kim Taehyung was always in high demand, it seemed.

“Yeah, well… my agent always brings a lot of these because he says and I quote ‘I’m unpredictable with the roles I choose’.”

“I can see that.”

“Okay, so… this is the first one. A horror film, oddly enough would be my first role of this type… Screenplay by Mary Harron and directed by Mary Harron…”

“You go, Mary Harron.”

“A wealthy New York investment banking executive hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he escalates deeper into his illogical, gratuitous fantasies.”

“Sounds promising.”

“William Dafoe is already confirmed to play the detective…” Taehyung raised an eyebrow. “I could see that.”

“How do you feel about dark roles like this?”

“They require a lot of work. Once in a movie one of my character’s friends got murdered and we had to film that very detailed sequence and I swear I got nightmares for like a week after, even when I knew it was all fake.”

“Noted… It could be a challenge but I think you’d do alright.”

“Thanks… next one is…” He grabbed another script. “Oh this is like a secondary role in what is going to become a franchise, my publicist told me about it. Are you familiar with superheroes?”

“I like the Spiderman comic books if that counts.”

“Well, this is also from Marvel, X-Men .”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve read a couple of those.”

“Two mutants, Rouge and Wolverine, come to a private academy for their kind whose resident superhero team, the X-Men, must oppose a terrorist organization with similar powers.”

“X-Men are very cool. You’d get to play someone with superpowers?”

“It says here I’d be reading for the role of Cyclops / Scott Summers. His powers include a strong, uncontrollable red beam of optic energy produced from his eyes, which is only held in check by sunglasses or a specialized ruby-quartz visor enabling him to control the strength of the beam to fire when in combat.”

“Lasers, that’s awesome.”

“I’d rather play Rouge, she sounds far more interesting.” He put down the script. “I’m not much of a franchise guy, we’ll see… Okay, the next one is… this.” He started reading. “Chuck, a top international manager for FedEx, and Kelly, a Ph.D. student, are in love and heading towards marriage. Then Chuck’s plane to Malaysia ditches at sea during a terrible storm. He’s the only survivor, and he washes up on a tiny island with nothing but some flotsam and jetsam from the aircraft’s cargo.”

“What’s the movie’s name?”

“ Cast Away. Huh… he talks to a volleyball for most of the film… that’s interesting.”

“If it’s set on a beach you’d get to spend a lot of time in the Polinesia, that’s a big pro point.”

“Right… Ugh, Tom Hanks is betting on this… I don’t think I stand a chance.”

“What’s the last one?”

“Oh, you’re going to like this one… When record store owner Rob Gordon gets dumped by his girlfriend, Laura, because he hasn’t changed since they met, he revisits his top five breakups of all time in an attempt to figure out what went wrong. As Rob seeks out his former lovers to find out why they left, he keeps up his efforts to win Laura back.”

“Hey, that’s High Fidelity, isn’t it?”

“Correct, they changed the character’s name I guess.”

“I still haven’t read that one. Is it good?”

“The script looks neat although I haven’t read the book either…”

“I knew you only bought it to get my attention,” Jeongguk smirked.

“I got your attention as soon as I walked into the store, I caught you staring at me several times.”

“Well… that’s… absolutely true.” The younger blushed.

Taehyung smiled and the room lit up.

A thought crossed his mind as he looked at Jeongguk with sorrowful eyes.

“Listen… I’m so sorry for last time. I wasn’t being honest with you. I should’ve told you everything from the beginning. It’s not an excuse but I’m not used to opening up and when you got so close… I got scared and didn’t handle it the best way.” He sighed. “However, when this thing blew up, there was no other place I wanted to be and, somehow, I knew you would welcome me into your home because you’re like that… you’re a good person.”

Jeongguk got to breathe again, it was the first time in weeks his chest didn’t feel heavy.

“I doubt it for a second but… I couldn’t say no.”

Taehyung extended his hand and reached for Jeongguk’s.

“Thank you.”

“Have you told anyone you’re here? You can use the phone if you want to.”

The actor shook his head. “Not a soul. I rather not telling anyone, I need some time away from it.”

“You’ve come to the right place.”

“I know… my agent, my publicists, my assistant… they’ll want to kill me but I guess they’ll be busy handling my crumbling non-existent relationship. I feel so bad for Jihyun, she didn’t deserve the backlash if something, she’s been a very good friend.”

“I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“We still have to do the promotions next year… it’s going to be a mess.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Things will be better by then.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not. But life’s strange… Like, two hours ago I wasn’t sure I was going to see you again, and… here you are.”

“Well, you have a point there.”

“And don’t worry, you can stay here in the meantime.”

Taehyung pressed both lips together creating a thin line, he was trying very hard not to tear up.

“Thank you… Jeon Jeongguk, you’re an extraordinary man, did you know?”

♢

Later that night, they had ramen noodles for dinner and Taehyung enjoyed every second of the dish as he explained he hadn’t had ramen in ages due to some diet restrictions, however, it was a special occasion that called for some comfort food.

Seokjin returned home about an hour later, Jeongguk had already told him on the phone about their surprise visitor so he couldn’t scream (which he did, on the phone) or threaten Taehyung (which he did… on the phone ) but when Jeongguk explained the situation and what the actor was going through, his housemate empathized with him nevertheless.

He greeted Taehyung and then retrieved to his room for the rest of the night, something that Jeongguk fully appreciated.

Taehyung and he talked for hours until it was very late, it was like time hadn’t passed at all but, after a hell of a day, they decided it was for the best to get some rest.

Against Taehyung’s wishes, Jeongguk slept on the sofa.

“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me.” The younger said.

“This is ridiculous. I should take the sofa.”

“Don’t start again… it’s fine. Really, I changed the sheets and everything.”

“And they say chivalry is dead.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Today has been a good day.  Which under the circumstances is... unexpected.”

They were on the same page about that.

“Anyway… time for bed. Or... sofa-bed.”

Taehyung leaned forward, kissed him gently, then headed upstairs until Jeongguk couldn’t see him anymore.

It took Jeongguk some time to lower his heart rate and still, he couldn’t fall asleep by any means. He was too excited, wide awake… besides what dream could be better than that reality?

He closed his eyes again, turned around, and did everything to drift off… unsuccessfully.

That was until he heard a noise and for an instant thought they were being robbed.

He jumped off the sofa, fully awake.

“Sorry!” Taehyung apologized in the darkness. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to startle you.”

“Oh, God…” He recovered his breath. “What…?”

Taehyung got closer, so close he could feel his body’s warmth.

“Hi,” He whispered.

“Hi…” Jeongguk didn’t wait longer until their lips met again.

The kiss started as a proposition and grew bigger, deeper, and more passionate with every second that passed. Jeongguk didn’t like to brag but carrying Kim Taehyung in his arms upstairs was something that made him quite proud.

♢

They lazed around in bed for a while when dawn came.

Neither of them wanted to leave that bed for anything in the world but they got hungry at some point and Taehyung proposed they got some breakfast in bed, or lunch or… brunch. He put back on his underwear and borrowed one of Jeongguk’s shirts that smelled like his fabric softener and a bit like him.

“You’ll have to help me out because I don’t know where your things are.” Taehyung walked downstairs followed by Jeongguk.

“Seokjin keeps the good things where he thinks I can’t find them, you’ll learn”

Taehyung grinned.

“So, does this mean I can stay a bit longer?”

“Stay forever.”

Taehyung dedicated a loving look to Jeongguk as if words could trespass that silence.

At that moment and before something could be said, the bell rang.

“I’ll get it, it’s probably Seokjin. He has forgotten his keys before…”

It all happened in a millisecond. Jeongguk opened the door confident it was his housemate when he got blinded by a hundred paparazzi, an explosion of cameras and questions, of noise and light.  The press seemed to fill the entire street.

He snapped the door but when he turned around, it was too late.

Taehyung had frozen on his spot with a horrified expression.

“Oh, God… Oh, my God … They got us… dressed like this.”

“Tae…”

“Fuck… fuck … fuck.”

He dashed to the phone and rang someone right away.

“Hello… It’s me… The press is here, it’s like an invasion, hundreds of them…” His voice threatened with breaking at that moment. “I know, I know. You can nag me later but please, please get me out of here.” He hung up. “Dammit.”

He rushed upstairs to get dressed, and Jeongguk followed him.

“This is such a mess. I come to you to protect myself against more gossip and now I'm landed in it all over again.  For God's sake, I've got a girlfriend.”

“You do?” Jeongguk asked, puzzled.

“As far as they're concerned I do. And now tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspaper from here to Argentina.”

“I know, I know… it’s bad but we have to stay calm.”

“You can stay calm! It's the perfect situation for you. Minimum input, maximum publicity.  Everyone you ever bump into will know.  'Well done, you also slept with that actor, we've seen the pictures’.” He spat as he put on back his clothes.

“That’s not fair, Taehyung.” Jeongguk knew he was lashing out but still. “Please, calm down… We can talk about it, let’s eat something…”

“I don’t want a goddamn meal. I don’t want to calm down… I want this to stop! I want to go home…” He cried.

Jeongguk wanted to console him but he knew it was useless.

“What the hell is going on?!” Seokjin yelled from downstairs.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” He yelled back. “Taehyung, please don’t go like this. This will pass too… Today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's waste trash.”

Taehyung glared at him. “Excuse me?”

“Everyone will forget about it. Today's papers will all have been thrown away tomorrow.”

“You really don’t get it. This is going to change it all… they already suspected it and now they have a confirmation. This is going to taint my entire career from now on. People won’t hire me because of this.”

“That’s not true… you’re a great actor regardless of who you date.”

“Tell them that. Newspapers last forever. I'll regret this forever.” He murmured.

“Jeongguk! Someone’s at the door calling Taehyung.” Seokjin shouted.

“I think you should go.” He said, bitterly.

Taehyung grabbed his things and crossed the entrance door where the flashes exploded once again, his chauffeur and two bodyguards helped him to get out. Once the door closed, it got quiet. Everyone was gone.

Seokjin looked at his housemate looking for an explanation.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know… someone must have told the press he was here.”

“Oh shit.” Seokjin got pale.

“What? You…?”

“No! I mean, not on purpose. Yesterday when you called me, there were a few people at the store, they probably overheard me…”

“Oh.”

He put his head in his hands.

It was over now.

ǀ 7 ǀ

Winter 1999

And so, the colder days arrived...

“Do you love me?”

“Jimin… what’s this about?”

“If you don’t… you’re gonna love me.” He assured. “I’ve got something for you… Something which will make you love me so much you'll want to hug me every single day for the rest of my life.”

“Okay… tell me.”

“The phone number of Taehyung’s agent in Seoul and his agent in LA. You can ring him.  You think about him all the time and now you can ring him!”

“Thank you, hyung. I doubt he’ll ever pick up but… thank you.”

“Okay, write it down. I got it from someone at my work that knows someone, that knows someone… you know how it works.”

“Right… I have paper and a pen here.”

After writing the phone number, Jimin hung up.

It was a grey day in the bookstore, it looked like it would snow anytime soon.

It was also Seokjin’s day off so it was going to be Jeongguk and the books as far as he knew.

The door opened and the tiny bell rang. He looked up.

“Hi.” Taehyung was dressed in simple clothes, a sky blue sweater, and slim pants.

Jeongguk almost dropped a copy of Moby Dick when he saw the actor standing in front of him.

“Hello.”

“I’m in town for a conference and some promotional things for the film and I thought I could… pay a visit.” He held something in his hands. “I brought you a gift.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t expect it.” He grabbed the squared object.

“Don’t open it now, I’ll die of embarrassment.”

“What…? How…?”

“I know… The thing is... I have to go away today but I wondered, if I didn't, whether you might let me see you a bit… or, a lot maybe... see if you could… like me again.”

“But last time… you were hurt, I get that but… the first time you left… you were right. We’re different, we come from different worlds and I can’t get my heart broken by you again. I won’t be able to live with that… Everything I said to you, everything we lived through, I meant it. Every second of it. I'm not good at pretending, I'm just like this. I'd never changed it but... Reality is different than any work of fiction, isn't it?"

They exchanged a silent look.

"Can I just say 'no' to your kind request and leave it at that?” Those words hurt Jeongguk's throat as they came out.

“Yeah, of course… right. It’s your right…”

Jeongguk took a deep breath. “I live here, you live in LA or wherever your schedule takes you… Everyone in the world knows your name. I’m a nobody.”

“Of course… The fame thing gets in the way... This is so stupid, it’s not even real, you know? Sometimes I wish it wasn’t, at least.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“I’m an actor and most of that’s fake but, in reality… I’m just a boy… standing in front of another boy… asking him to love me. ” His eyes became watery. "And that's the truth."

He got closer and kissed him on the cheek.

“Bye, Jeon Jeongguk.”

He turned around and as he walked into his life, he left.

♢

Jeongguk walked inside the library like a madman. His heart was beating non-stop when he remembered Taehyung’s gift. He opened the present and inside he discovered what looked like… the original… Chagall he had on the house. Taehyung was imperfect, he had a hectic schedule and a lifestyle that didn't match his but love was supposed to be like a Chagall painting, wasn't it? Difficult to understand at first sight but deep, rich in color... like two lovers floating in the void and a goat playing the violin.

Oh, what a foul he had been.

He loved Taehyung.

He had realized now.

Maybe it was too late now.

No.

It couldn’t be.

The press conference.

“Hyung… pick up, pick up.” He called Yoongi.

“Jeongguk?”

“Can you give me a lift?”

♢

“It’s the next street, you have to turn around in the next street!” Jimin yelled.

Somehow all of them were there. Yoongi was driving, and Jimin was next to him; Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin were in the back seat, squishing Jeongguk in the middle. They all decided to jump into the car as soon as they heard the news.

Jeon Jeongguk wasn’t going to quit.

“I heard you the first time, I’m turning!”

“Don’t forget the turning lights!”

They sharply parked in front of the hotel, violating probably a million traffic rules.

“Jeongguk, go!” Hoseok pushed him out of the car making the younger almost trip on the sidewalk.

He ran like a cartoon character and almost got delayed by the hotel employees but luckily, he had saved his press card from months ago and it worked perfectly as a free pass.

The press conference was held in a huge room, full of reporters. Row after row of journalists, cameras at the front, TV cameras at the back. Taehyung sat at a table at the end of the room, next to him, Jeongguk recognized his assistant, Sohee, and the PR people he had met before.

“Mr. Kim! Mr. Kim!” A reporter called. “How much longer are you staying in Korea then?”

“Not that long. I’m leaving tonight.” He replied with a melancholic tone.

“Okay, time for the final questions.” Someone on the table announced.

“Is your decision to take a year off anything to do with the rumors about your sexuality?” A reporter shamelessly asked.

“Absolutely not. I have discussed my sexuality several times, if people don’t like it they’ll have to live with that. Same with directors or anyone that wants to work with me.”

“Last time you were here, there were some photographs of you and a young Korean man, so what happened there?”

“He was just a friend… I think we’re still friends.”

“Last question,” the same man reiterated. “Yes, the gentleman in the pink shirt… The Seoul Gazette?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk lowered his raised hand. “are there any circumstances in which you two might be more than just friends?”

At that moment, Taehyung recognized him.

“I hoped there might be… but no, I'm assured there aren't.”

“And what would you say…”

“Just a question per person…” The manager said strictly.

“No, let him ask away… what were you saying?” Taehyung redirected all the attention of the room to the ‘journalist’ in front of him.

“Yes, I just wondered if it turned out that this... person… realized he should take the bet and risk it all for you… got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider, whether would you… well, reconsider?”

Everyone in the room waited for the answer. The reporters, the people sitting at the table, Jeongguk’s friends that were now in the room but mostly… Jeongguk.

“Yes, I'm pretty sure I would.”

“That's very good news.  The readers of ‘The Seoul Gazette’ will be absolutely delighted.”

Taehyung whispered something to the manager.

He pointed at the journalist that had previously asked something. “Gentleman, could ask your question again?”

“Yes. Mr. Kim, how long are you intending to stay in Korea?”

Taehyung stared at Jeongguk’s eyes as he got close to the microphone once again.

They both smiled before hearing the answer.

“ Indefinitely.”

The end.