Work Text:
I woke up off-kilter. My throat feels dry, I’m not thirsty right now. My fingertips are buzzing. Why am I still pretending?
The clock ticks by and I’m still here. Why am I still here? Am I waiting for something? My head hurts every time I think. When will something happen?
Do I deserve that something?… I don’t know.
…
It happened again. I feel just fine, what do you mean?
The world is fuzzy, everything is getting worse. Do I hear something different? I’m not sure. My body hurts.
Everything tastes bad. Why does everything taste bad? I don’t know. I push it aside, see you later alligator.
…
Why does it keep happening? I heard it again. It tells me a secret, “everybody will be better off.” I think I agree.
My silence is disrupting. Why do they care? I don’t know. They tell me I disrupt when I’m normal, too. It hurts.
Why are they looking at me? Why can’t I interact in my own body? The voice is back, my chest feels heavy. I ignore it for now.
…
What do you mean this isn’t normal? I feel just fine. Don’t worry, nothing to be worried about. Other people are better worth your concern.
Huh? I can’t balance well lately? Sorry, I must've forgotten something important. I’ll be back to normal later .
My aim is off, they tell me. I’m sorry, really. I’ll be my regular self sooner than you know it! I coop up alone later. They won’t know.
…
I hear static and see blurs. My world is titled and I am unseated. My stomach is in knots and the stinging won’t go away.
I force myself to drink anything, the tear stains are the culprit. But who’s here to judge? Nobody.
I feel unmanly, as my friend calls it. But it will go away soon. It always does.
…
Hi guys, I finally feel normal again. Glad to be back, thanks for waiting. I’ll continue another time.