Work Text:
Don’t ever say I love you again
Don’t ever say “us” again
I curl up in my bed as i don’t want to wake up ever again. The tear stain that still printed in my cheek, I didn’t bother to erased it. It’s been 2 weeks since the last I saw him. I rolled to my side, looked over the picture of me and Jungkook, smile wide while wearing that stupid mickey and minnie hat.
When did everything go wrong?
I exhale, feeling lump forming in my throat once again. as I weakly reach for the frame and place it downward. I can’t look at it again, our happiness is now a void in the back of my mind. I sat up from my bed, rubbing my face as my foot touching the cold tile I check my phone for the first time in two weeks. Many people, friends and family asking my well-being or I’m already dead for not responding to them, but it’s not important as my attention take more interest in some particular notification from 2 weeks ago
Kookbun
12 April 2021
I feel like we can’t work anymore (12.03 PM)
I’m sorry (12.06 PM)
18 April 2021
Your friends say that you haven’t answers their text (08.20 PM)
20 April 201
Please don’t be like this (02.33 PM)
I’m sorry for everything I did (02.45 PM)
I still love you… (05.44 PM)
And the recent one
25 April 2021
Let me explain everything (09.45 AM)
You seriously acting like you’re the only one that get hurt? (12. 22 PM)
You haven’t answered my calls! (01.55 PM)
I come to your apartment, yet you didn’t bother to opened the door?! (03.57 PM)
Grow the fuck up! Stop being childish (06.56 PM)
This is why I hate you so fucking much (06.56 PM)
I tried not to cry again, looking at the text. He’s the one at fault, yet he decided to be asshole and blame me for everything? Am I wrong to feel like this? Our 4 years relationship that sinking right in front of my eyes, yet he still think that after everything, we can sail the boat again.
“Was us already doom to begin with?” I asked myself in this void room. I close my eyes, thinking if that didn’t happen, maybe, there’s still a hope for us, yet everything already damage even before we could fix things.
Suddenly, there’s a knock, a harsh one and quick. I get up from my bed and walk over to the door. I don’t care about my looks anymore, as I opened the door, a tall, muscular, figure, with tattoo on one of his hand standing in front of me. my blood ran cold, as Jungkook push himself to my apartment, uninvited. He was angry and upset?
“Jungkook?” I whisper under my breath. “what are you doing here?” I asked him, feeling a nausea coming.
Wanna fucking die when you next to me
“Let me explain, please!” He said, his doe eye looking straight at me. “I didn’t mean too”
“No” I said, looking at him, hurt. “you did mean it! You have all the choice, yet you… yet you…” my voice trail as I tried not to break down in front of him.
“yet, you still decided to fucking slept with your ex Jungkook! you fucking slept with him even though we all know she was just using you!” My tears already forming in my eyes. “You know that day! I was fucking happy that finally after a month being busy I can spend times with you! i really look forward to our date! I cook you favorite meal, I dress prettily just for you! then what? I found you in your room with her! Moaning each other names?!” I shout at him, anger take the best of me.
“when did it go wrong Jungkook? is my love not enough? Is my effort being not enough?”
“NO!” He shaking his head. “you are enough for me, I swear! I didn’t mean too, that time.. she was seducing me and I don’t want to give in! I swear I never wanted that in first place”
Liar
“She was the one throwing herself into me! I still love you and you are enough! Please believe me! please, I need you, I miss you. I swear after that day I never met her again!” He sound desperate. “Please, love, please believe me! don’t you wanna be us again?”
You begging for all the pity
“No” i looked away from him. “I’m not beliving you, please just go Jungkook”
“Love…?”
“Please, don’t” I paused, tears already roll on my cheek. “Please don’t ever said that… you never love me in the beginning, if so, you would never done this Jungkook. There’s no love in us from the start, you only use me for a rebound” I said voice quivering.
“Please just go and leave, don’t ever meet me again” I pointed at the door. “we already doom to begin with”
And with that, Jungkook hung his head low and went to the door, before he could exit my apartment, he looked at me for the last time. Sadly smile at me.
“I’m sorry for everything. I hope you live well after all the shit I do to you” He said for the last time and get out from my apartment, closing the door.
I slump from my standing, letting a sob that I was held the entire time, my chest really hurt from the crying, I was surprise that my tears haven’t dried. I still feel hurt, for everything he did, no doubt that I still want him, to be with him, hoping that there’s a tiny light shine upon us, but at the same times his treatment towards me. I can’t forgive him, I may have along journey to heal from this heart break, but at least I’ll never have to face him again.
Don’t ever say I love you again
Don’t ever say “us” again