Chapter Text
There comes a time when staring at the same article, with those tiny little words on the pixelated computer screen, makes your eyes feel like they're on fire.
Dean put down his third beer of the night and closed the laptop. He and Sam had been tracking this werewolf for a week now, but that bastard always managed to get away as soon as they got close. The creature had left four bodies, and there would be more if they didn't catch it in time.
Then, a breeze came from behind him.
“Jesus,” he grunted, surprised, thinking it might be some demon or spirit. But he should've known by now: “Cas, I’m starting to think you enjoy scaring the crap out of me.” He breathed, annoyed yet relieved.
“That wouldn’t be nice,” Castiel said bluntly, still in his place.
“So, what are you doing here? Did Sam call for you…?” Dean said, getting up and walking towards the fridge. Three more bottles to go.
“I came here for me,” the angel said hesitantly, turning to him.
Crap, Dean thought. Cas's shaky voice indicates trouble.
“Well, the question still applies,” Dean smiled, though worry crept in. “What’s going on, Cas? We’ve been hunting a werewolf, nothing out of the ordinary… that I know of…”
“Yes, I’m sure of it,” Castiel looked down, annoyed. Why is he annoyed? “I have been wondering if-” he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “...if you would let me try something.”
“Okay, but uh… why do I need to let you?” Dean opened his beer and stepped closer to the angel, intrigued by whatever was bothering him.
“Because you are involved, and I need your consent,” He explained.
“How nice of you,” Dean said, sarcastically. “You would tell me if this is another vessel thing, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, absolutely,” he assured.
…
“Hey, man,” Dean said after Castiel just stood there in silence. “What is it that you want to do? You have my consent.”
“Oh, yeah, I just- I need you to stand still and… and close your eyes.”
Dean eyed the angel curiously but closed his eyes anyway.
“Look, probably should have asked this before, but… is it gonna hurt…?” He began, but was interrupted by a sudden warmth in front of him. He felt his breath very close, extremely close. Dean fought the strange feeling that bubbled up inside his chest, one he was not sure what it meant or what it could do to him.
Castiel just stayed there, silent, breathing in front of Dean’s face for a while until…
“Cas,” he whispered, opening his eyes and catching the angel's gaze, which remained focused, staring at him. "What are you doing?"
"My intentions are purely experimental," He replied, but unmoved.
"Experimental?" Dean pondered, noticing his arms tightly glued to his body.
"That's what I said," He said.
"Then, what are you doing?"
"I-" He looked up at him, even more hesitant than before. "I wanted to see if I feel what some of you do."
Dean stared at him, pretending not to know what he was saying, while still trying to figure out what he was going to do exactly.
"Alright," Dean planted his feet and closed his eyes again. "Do it."
"I'm afraid that your consent is invalid if you don't completely know what is going to happen," Castiel backed out, but surprisingly, Dean grabbed the hem of his coat and pulled him back.
"Do you think I would've let you come this close to me if I weren't aware of what you meant?" He said, instinctively looking at Castiel's lips, the question of what in the world was happening stormed his mind.
And he consciously chose to ignore it.
"No, I suppose not," Castiel conceded, feeling an unknown heat climb up his torso.
"Then, move along, Cas," He instigated.
The angel stilled for a second, but then the nervous expression on his face slowly relaxed, a haziness falling over him.
Dean felt his hands brush his shirt as they went up to cup his face. His eyelids weighed as he held in his breath.
He had no idea why he was allowing this to happen. Normally, he hates when Castiel gets too close… but, maybe, he's got it all wrong. First of all, he has no motives to hate him at all, but he does anyway, he hates the way he has been feeling around him lately. His stupid naivete and inconvenient insights.
He opens his eyes and stares at Castiel, and for a moment, there is no werewolf to hunt, no murders, no blood, and no pain, just Castiel's wild blue eyes and his warm palm on his cheek. There is only one thing to do here, one move.
And Dean is still not sure of who leaned in first.
It was slow and absurdly quiet, with no sound except the rustling of Castiel's coat and their shuddering breaths. Dean felt his lips graze Castiel's, enticing him to press the angel's body closer, sighing into the kiss.
It has always been there; he just never acknowledged it. It's in between their long stares, in the desperate choices to save one another, and even on the faint goosebumps that bother the hell out of Dean when Cas catches him off guard, standing absurdly close.
However, just as Dean took a step forward, opening his mouth slightly to keep this going, he heard rustling on the door and knew it was Sam bringing the food he asked for earlier.
Quickly, both of them parted, leaving pink cheeks and red lips as evidence.
“Hey man, I’m sorry, but I forgot to bring the pie…” Sam said as he closed the door with two bags of food in both arms. “I promise I’ll get it for you next-”
“It’s o-” Dean’s voice came out weirdly dry. “It’s okay, dude.”
“Really?” He asked, confused. “Whenever I don’t bring your pie, you freak out on me. Every time.”
“Nah, it’s cool… but let’s not do it again, shall we?”
“Alright…” Sam threw the keys on the table. “...hey, Cas!” He said, noticing the angel in the opposite corner of the room.
“Hey, um, I need to… solve some… stuff that came up just now… see you later,” he said right before vanishing in front of their eyes.
Sam gave the empty space a quizzical look. "Is everything okay?"
Dean forced a calm smile. "Yeah, it's just... Cas being Cas, you know?" He opened the plastic package and started eating the overly greasy burger from the diner he had seen earlier when they got to town.
Sam raised an eyebrow but decided not to press the matter. "Okay, well, I'll put the rest of the food in the fridge for now."
"Yeah, thanks, Sammy,” he smiled, but the second Sam turned his back, his smile dropped along with his burger. His heart was still beating fast.
What the fuck did I do?
Dean leaned back against the table, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. A part of him wanted to feel his scent close... his soft lips, hear the stuttering breath Castiel let out when he pulled his body against him, to know how many of those would take until-
Dean shook his head, urging his mind to just calm the fuck down. This was new, vulnerable, and... raw. He couldn't just jump in... could he? He hated how his chest ached for something so.... So what? Minimal? Irrelevant? So... good? Yeah, that was more like it. Fuck.
He sighed heavily.
So, for the first time in years, he leaves his burger unfinished and goes out for a walk.
“Hey man, where are you going?” Sam’s voice stops him midway through the door.
“I- hum… I’m just going for a walk,” Dean says briefly and closes the door.
Sam looks blankly at the closed door and says, "You don’t go for walks.”