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This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
We can't make any promises
Now can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink
The feeling of Seokjin’s mouth on his felt so good, Jeongguk thought he could just melt right there. Seokjin’s tongue licking the insides of his mouth, one of his cold hands meeting Jeongguk’s waist under his white t-shirt making him shiver at the touch. His other hand on Jeongguk’s cheek, holding his face in place, softly but still firm enough for him to feel grounded on the older’s touch.
He wondered if that was the same hand that had cleaned away his tears just moments ago, if it was already completely dry.
Jeongguk was trying hard to be strong, he really was. But that morning, as he woke up, it felt like everything finally got too much for him to bear. Their bodies tangled in bed, their smell mixed in the air. Seokjin woke up just after him, gave him a peck on the lips and said he was making them breakfast. When he came back to warn him it was ready, Jeongguk was already sobbing on their bed.
The tears came to him like rain on a sunny day.
“Baby, are you okay?” Seokjin’s gentle voice echoes inside his ears, his arm going to wrap around Jeongguk’s shoulders as tears continue to fall down his eyes.
“No…” He manages to say in between sobs.
Jeongguk hated crying like that, it made him feel like he was a kid again. Like all those years had passed but he was still stuck in the same place as the boy he was all those years ago when he moved to Seoul.
But the truth was that the last few months had not been kind to him. Jeangguk had found himself caught in the middle of multiple rumors and criticism and even if he wanted to just dismiss it and say they’re all wrong, he knows he's been reckless.
Normal young adults were allowed to fuck up sometimes, but he wasn’t just a normal young adult. Any simple mistake could cost his entire life, because the life he led was anything but normal.
“It’s okay, you can cry…” Seokjin tells him with his ever so careful hand moving up and down Jeongguk's back. The words make him cry even more.
“I’m scared, yeobo…” The younger says after his tears start to calm down, “What if they hate me? I know I wasn’t really at that gay club and maybe them knowing that helped, but…” He pauses, the sentence still incomplete, but Seokjin knows exactly what he means. The older one takes Jeangguk’s face in his hand just before the younger’s able to finish it, “But… I am gay.”
“I know.” Seokjin cleans one lonely tear running down his soft cheeks and replies with a smile.
The answer elicits a scoff out of the younger, “Hyung, you’re so annoying!” he says, not being able to contain his laugh at his boyfriend’s silly comment.
“I understand what you mean,” he replies in a serious tone this time, “It’s scary… We can’t control what everyone thinks, and, honestly, there’s no real solution. Just try trusting in yourself and in who you are?” Seokjin takes a pause, nose scrunching and bringing one of his hands to cover his silly smile, “God, that was kinda cringe! That’s why I hate giving advice!” he pushes lightly at Jeongguk’s shoulders, who was grinning at his boyfriend’s attempt to comfort him.
“You really are shit at advices, hyung!” Jeongguk teases back. But silly as it may sound, Seokjin’s words really made him feel better, they always did, “You should shut up and just fuck me stupid against the mattress!”
“Oh so that’s the only thing you think I’m good for?” Seokjin replies, positioning Jeongguk’s back against the bed.
“Sometimes…” he keeps on teasing, knowing full well how to rile the other man up, “You know, hyung… You’ve been getting old and all…”
Seokjin rolls his eyes at the words but leans in to catch Jeongguk’s lips in a deep kiss. Willingly taking the bait. His hands held the younger’s face on both sides, so tightly that he could see marks beneath his fingers painting Jeongguk’s pale skin in red. The younger’s hands moved to pull on Seokjin’s hair, one of his legs wrapping around his waist like he wanted to pull the older as close as possible.
Seokjin pulls away for a second, trying to catch his breath but the sight beneath him was also quite breathtaking. Jeongguk’s messy hair all around the white pillow, his red swollen lips, his big doe eyes.
“God, I love you…”
He notices Jeongguk cheeks getting slightly more heated up and another single tear going down his eyes, contrasting with the shy smile on his lips.
“I love you too, yeobo.”
The younger pushes him back for another kiss, this time it was soft and slow. Every movement of Seokjin’s mouth against his was not only a kiss, but a proof of his endless love.
‘I love you, I’ll be by your side’