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Ranpo wouldn’t say he's one to be rendered speechless easily, no, he most definitely isn’t rendered speechless easily. He has a will of steel and no sense of shame..though that might just be due to his lack of ability to pick up on social cues.
Always seeming to offend people with what his fellow coworkers (Dazai and Yosano) have called the ‘are you actually fucking stupid’ look. Where he furrows his eyebrows as he tries to ‘comprehend the amount of bullshit he was just subjected to’ (as Yosano puts it). And sometimes he’ll even halfway open his eyes and have them squinted as he stares at his ‘victims’ and makes them ‘contemplate their entire existence’ (as Dazai puts it).
(D:‘Do you think being glared at while he has his eyes closed is worse or when they're open?’
Y:‘Well, when his eyes are closed it gives ‘you’re so dense you’re not even worth me opening my eyes’ vibes, y'know?’
D:‘True..but if he opens his eyes that means what you said is so horrendously nonsensical, that Ranpo felt the need to open his eyes, which doesn’t exactly happen a lot.’
Y:‘Oh that’s true! When his eyes are closed it’s like he’s thinking, ‘i’m going to give you a second to think about what you just said’ and when his eyes are open it’s, ‘I’m not even going to give you the chance to repeat that to yourself because I’m not sure if I could handle hearing it again, and frankly, I don't think you could either, i'm just going to severely judge you.’
D:‘Exactly’
This was an hour long conversation between Dazai and Yosano that Ranpo had the misfortune of being stuck in between. This topic wasn’t even worth ten minutes. It got sixty. And Ranpo had to listen to it all. The final straw was when Dazai turned towards Ranpo and smirked.
‘There’s the look, you see how he’s severely judging us with his eyes? Told you it’s worse’
Ranpo was about to commit a crime against his coworker. Then maybe the Hunting Dogs would have an actual reason to arrest him.)
He tells everyone that ‘it’s not like he does it on purpose; it comes naturally!’
(Y: ‘That’s not any better Ranpo’
R: ‘Whatever’)
He can’t help it when someone says something so mind deteriorating that he has to take a second to process it!! (He can totally help it. He does it for ‘shits and giggles’ if you will, it puts him in a ‘silly goofy mood’. Sometimes he does it on purpose just to fuck with others. But Dazai and Yosano don’t need to know that.)
He can deduce anything and everything but emotions, which is ironic because the raven haired man feels like he’s quite good at deducing how Poe feels. Or maybe he’s not deducing anything, and it’s just due to their overwhelmingly strong bond.
Speaking of the tall brunette, both him and Ranpo were getting ready to go collect the other members of the Detective Agency from their respective ‘holding cells’. Ranpo had just draped the long, black cloak over his frame and was waiting for Poe to get ready and come out to the roof and meet him.
Poe who always used her long bangs to avoid other people’s gaze, as well as hide her own. He who was afraid to even step foot outside of his home in fear of finding himself in a confrontational situation. Who hid from large crowds, and always managed to drag Ranpo into the corner of a room with him. His Poe, his beautiful, elegant, kind and thoughtful Poe, walked out and had his hair slicked back and out of his eyes. In place of their long bangs were black shades, covering their eyes as always. Not that Ranpo was complaining, it was part of Poe’s charm, and he adored every aspect of his significant other.
To say the least, Ranpo was speechless, stunned stupid even. But not for long.
“I’m ready Ranpo!” Poe called out to him as she walked up to the shorter, “I apologize for making you wait, shall we get going?” God. They’re gorgeous. “Um..Ranpo..? Dear are you alright?” Poe asked hesitantly. Ranpo’s eyes widened slightly in realization. Crap he must’ve been staring for too long.
“I’m doing better than alright! Thank you for asking! Sorry if I worried you, and for staring too long, you’re just incredibly alluring.” Ranpo said to his lover with a soft smile on his face, and an overwhelming fondness in his eyes. Poe could feel their face lightly flush. She’s so perfect.
“Thank you Ranpo, you always know how to flatter me,” and he smiles back just as softly, gaze just as fond, if not more. “Although I must say, you’re too ki-“ and before Poe can even finish his sentence, Ranpo swiftly takes a step closer to the taller man and snakes his left arm around Poe’s waist, while the other goes up to his chin and gently tilts it down to meet his eyes.
“None of that, I insist, you’re breathtaking, my darling Ed.” And Ranpo watches as Poe’s face flushes a deeper pink, spreading up to her ears as the gears in her brain struggle to turn. Ranpo is sure that she can see the small, satisfied smirk on his face.
“I-“ Poe stutters out as they place their hands on Ranpo’s shoulders and try to form a coherent thought.
“Yes, love?” Ranpo responds and he shifts his hand from Poe’s chin to instead gently hold their cheek, his thumb falling into the calming rhythm of going side to side.
“You-“ Poe tries again, still adorably miserably failing.
“Don’t worry, take your time,” Ranpo says softly, and while this may seem to another person as him teasing his lover, the ravenette genuinely meant it. She’s not exactly the best at taking compliments, but Ranpo likes to remind her whenever he can that he loves her, that she’s worth more than the moon and the stars. He knows that Poe struggles with her self-esteem, confidence, and practically anything to do with self-worth, but it’s something that they’re slowly working on, together. So if simply complimenting Poe and giving her time to formulate her thoughts helps, even if just a bit, he’d be sure to do it for the rest of eternity.
Ranpo is pulled out of his head when he hears a small whine in the back of Poe’s throat before they say, “Ranpo,” and their face still carries a light pink hue, “you know I always appreciate your compliments, and I thank you deeply, really I do, but we should really get going if we want to get to your agency friend on time, shouldn’t we?”
“Right you are!” Ranpo replies back happily without missing a beat, ”The Hunting Dog should be done talking to Kunikida any moment now!”
“Alright then, let’s go,” and they stood in silence staring at each other, neither daring to move, they still had time. “Dear you may need to let go of me in order for us to leave.”
“Yeah but what fun is that” Ranpo says as he looks back at Poe innocently.
“Ran-“ and Poe is betrayed by his own voice as Ranpo reaches up on his toes to place a kiss on Poe’s cheek. The blush on his face deepens slightly again as Ranpo steps back just as Poe had asked him to do seconds before. And even though Poe had asked him to do so, he found himself missing the soft touch. Once Poe recovered from his flustered daze, he found that Ranpo had already made his way to the roof’s exit.
“Come on now Ed! We wouldn’t want to be late!”
As he places his hand on the doorknob to open the door leading to the stairs, he hears Poe walk over to him and say under his breath, “Wait for me, will you?”
Ranpo stops in his tracks while he waits for his rival, best friend, and lover to stand beside him. Then as he opens the door, and they descend down the dark staircase, with their pinkies linked, he whispers under his breath,
“Always.”