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Hidehiko Uesugi is a coward.
Today he’s finally graduating high school, he still hasn’t dropped the bomb in regards to his very confusing feelings towards a certain friend of his, no one in particular, just Naoya Toudou . Who’s leaving the country in two days .
Worst part of all? He’s not planning to confess either. No matter how many times Yuka practically begs him to so that neither of them suffer, or the amount of times Reiji shoots him a glare as a sign to stop dumping his conflicting feelings onto him so that he can move on with his day — Hidehiko is never going to confess.
It’s not even because of an inner turmoil regarding his sexuality– Sure, he’s not open about liking guys to anyone outside his group of friends because society’s weird about two guys being a little more than platonic, but he can’t deny the fact he’s found many people cute and dateable of both genders.
But rather, Naoya just has better options. Hidehiko would never outright admit he’s self-conscious, he has enough confidence in himself to know he is dateable for many guys and girls out in the world — But not Naoya. He’s got Maki – the real Maki – still wistfully gazing at him like he’s rare treasure, Eriko of all girls blushing and giggling over his once-in-a-blue-moon sarcastic remarks and he swears Nanjo, the richest guy in the school (and possibly in all of Mikage-Cho), gives him glances that last just a bit too long to be platonic and prioritises Naoya’s safety over his own on many occasions (Which the others do as well, but only sometimes . Nanjo does it, like, almost every time ).
Just how could Hidehiko possibly compete with that? He just doesn’t. He’s not going to give himself hope when his competition (god, he hates thinking of his own friends that way, but it’s true) is miles better than he’ll ever be. Naoya gets along with them in ways other people don’t get to, and it only applies to Hidehiko to a small extent compared to how Naoya has bettered Nanjo as a whole person .
He sighs as he thinks of all this on his way to school, a bittersweet expression on his face. He shouldn’t be thinking such things when he’s about to graduate , but curse him for not getting over his feelings just yet. He only hopes the distance will finally let him have some peace and make him forget his feelings because they kind of hurt to have. Especially after two years.
It wouldn’t be long before he halted his steps as he heard faint, rapid footsteps approaching his way, along with a very familiar voice calling his name in the distance.
“Uesugi!”
He turned his head around, wanting to expect Masao or Yuka to be running towards him like most days. But he knew it wasn’t either of them, the use of his last name was telling enough, along with the fact that the voice sounded an awful lot like Naoya’s.
The other boy caught up to Hidehiko in a short span of time (he was a pretty good runner, so who’s surprised—), carrying his usual cool, aloof aura. He had the smallest trace of a smile on his face as he stood beside the crimson-haired boy.
“Thanks for waiting,” Naoya said, immediately starting to walk as if he hadn’t ran just a second ago. Hidehiko followed along, making sure he stayed beside Naoya rather than falling several steps behind.
“No problem, Naori-in~, what’s the rush though?” Hidehiko asked, quirking up a brow, “That excited for graduation?”
Naoya shrugged, “Yes and no. I’m a bit busy today, with packing after school and other stuff..”
“The going-away party is still on tomorrow, right?”
“Mhm. Wouldn’t wanna cancel it. Might be a little late to it, though,” Naoya chuckles a little, and Hidehiko swears the gods above are cursing him for bottling up his feelings, because the other’s laugh is angelic . It’s really rare to hear when they’re one-to-one like this, can anyone honestly blame Hidehiko?! Interrupting his trance, the raven-haired boy spoke once more, “.. It’s a little ironic, possibly being late to a party for me.”
“Hey, you’d be able to make, like— A dramatic entrance, y’know?” Hidehiko replies, motioning his hands as he talks, “You’d enter through Nanjo’s entrance door like BAM , it is I, the great Naoya Toudou! Your esteemed guest! You will bow before me!”
The both of them shortly fell into a small giggling fit after Hidehiko’s exaggerated impression of Naoya. Maybe today wouldn’t be too bad, if this is how it was going to be the majority of the day. Hidehiko calmed down from the fit first, watching his friend huff out a few more chuckles before calming down as well, a fond expression on his face— At least it seemed fond, Naoya’s face was one that didn’t move all that much. They glanced at each other for a moment while they stayed silent, and Hidehiko decided to grin like an idiot to hide his reddening cheeks. Only a second later, Naoya gave Hidehiko a small grin of his own, one reserved only for their friend group. Hidehiko wanted to take a picture and frame it, but he didn’t have a camera with him, so he decided to just frame that moment in his brain, hoping to not forget it.
He’s screwed.
“Ah, school’s just around the corner,” Naoya pointed out after a few more seconds of silence, and Hidehiko looked up ahead. Huh, that was fast.
“How much do you wanna bet everyone’s already in class?” Hidehiko asked, and the other shot him a playful glare.
“You and bets mixed together is never good, so I’m not betting on anything,” He responded, a lighthearted tone to his usually nonchalant voice. After a moment though, he muttered, “Probably like, half of them are already there.”
“You overestimate our friend group, Naorin.”
“You under estimate them, Uesugi. We’re part of the group that’s usually not-so-early.”
“Nuh-uh,” Hidehiko shakes his head, “Mama Uesugi makes sure I wake up nice and early so that I go to school with tons of energy– Today was no exception.”
Naoya only shrugs in response, a small smile still lingering on his face. Hidehiko rambles on about whatever mindless thing comes to his brain, and Naoya silently listens along as the two of them walk through the gates of St. Hermelin once more, making their way up to their classroom on the top floor.
As Hidehiko peered through the open classroom door, he was greeted with only the faces of Yuka, Yukino and Masao, along with other irrelevant classmates. He glanced back at Naoya with a smirk on his face.
“Told you you overestimated them,” He said in a quieter tone to not perk up the curiosity of mainly Yuka and Masao. The other boy simply rolled his eyes, “C’mon, it’s about half of them,” he replied in the same quiet tone as Hidehiko, “Plus, I told you I wasn’t betting anything. So I don’t owe you any treats at Peace Diner.”
“Hmph, lame.” Hidehiko sighed in defeat, though his lingering smirk showed he wasn’t hurt in the slightest. He nudged Naoya’s shoulder before he went to his seat, which was right behind Yuka’s. Almost instantly, Yuka shot him a glare and Yukino was quick to excuse herself and went off to Masao and Naoya instead. So much for some moral support , Hidehiko thought to himself as he frowned at Yuka. After one of many intimidating stare-offs between the pair, she finally spoke, though only in a whisper.
“You’re seriously not going to do anything about..” Her eyes darted towards Naoya’s direction and then back at Hidehiko, “ That . Like, at all ?”
“I just can’t , Ayase..” He sighed again, lacking the playfulness from the previous one. They didn’t exchange any more words, but he could still feel Yuka’s eyes bearing into his soul.
Yeah, Hidehiko Uesugi is a coward.
“Reiji, do you think Brown should ask Naoya out because it’s, y’know, graduation day ?” Yuka asked the tallest of the three. Hidehiko, Yuka and Reiji decided to hang around the art room since they basically had no classes anymore, and the ceremony wasn’t going to start until like, an hour? An hour and a half?
Unfortunately, that meant Hidehiko was stuck with the two people who knew about his dreadful crush and one of them will never let him live his cowardice down. Well, Reiji probably wouldn’t either, but he’s more silent about it.
In response to Yuka’s question, Reiji only scoffed. “.. If it means I don’t have to hear about it anymore, then yeah.” Yuka then whipped her head to Hidehiko, furrowing her brows, “See?! We’re both tired of your pining!”
Hidehiko could only take another deep breath, feeling even more deflated. So much for a good last day , he thought to himself as he crossed his arms and pouted. “I’ll get over it once he leaves, man. I’m not saying anything and that’s final.”
Both Reiji and Yuka rolled their eyes, though Reiji just looked like he regretted his choice of who to hang out with before the graduation ceremony whereas Yuka was just really frustrated with Hidehiko.
“Anyways,” Hidehiko started off after a very prolonged awkward silence, “Do you guys have any plans for the summer? I know it’s three months away, but you can’t blame a guy for getting curious~.”
“.. I’m planning to start moving my stuff to Sumaru City,” Reiji replied, which was very rare for him to do despite knowing him for a year now, his quiet attitude never faltered, despite being with good company.
“Ooo~, the city next door, right?” Yuka asked, to which Reiji nodded in response, “Heard it has an amazing beach, now I’m jealous!”
“Says you! You’re moving to Tokyo!” Hidehiko squawked, to which a harsh punch on the shoulder in response. Reiji’s eyes widened the tiniest bit, as if he’s showing genuine interest in the discussion now, “You’re moving to Tokyo?”
“Mhm! What, do I not seem like the type?”
“.. With your grades, not really.”
And then it was Reiji’s turn to get a harsh punch on the shoulder, though he didn’t react in the slightest, which frustrated Yuka more.
“What is it about Sumaru City that caught your eye?” Hidehiko asked, turning his head towards the taller boy and tilting it a little in curiosity. The other boy shrugged, “No one knows me, it’s not crowded, yet it’s not far from here..”
Hidehiko nodded along, “I’ve been thinking about moving there too, actually. Heard the entertainment industry there is one of the best, and I don’t wanna miss out on that~.” He chuckled a little before giving Reiji a grin, “Maybe we could be roommates?”
Reiji shook his head, “.. Yeah, no. Maybe in a few years.” Hidehiko pouted again, but this time it was just to be dramatic. Being the absolute sadist he is, Reiji lightly smirked in response to that. Yuka giggled as she watched the interaction, clearly enjoying the dramaticised act of Hidehiko’s misery.
The moment was short-lived as the door to the art room opened. The three of them perked their heads up to see who walked in, being greeted with the faces of Masao and Naoya.
“We won’t be here for long,” Masao announced, “Gotta go with Maki in a few. But we wanted to see you guys before the ceremony.” Naoya nodded to confirm Masao’s words before the two of them approached the trio. Yuka had a quizzical look on her face as she stared at Masao, to which everyone was quick to notice.
“Uh, somethin’ up?”
“Mark,” Yuka started off, huffing, “You’re not, like, going to the ceremony with your beanie on, are you?”
Masao gasped, clearly offended as the rest just giggled in response, “Hey! It’s a good hat..!”
“But even Brown took his stupid goggles off for today—”
“— Hey! They’re not stupid!—”
“– And I feel like you should put a little effort into looking nice today. Just saying.” Yuka finally finished, ignoring Hidehiko’s interjection. Masao let out a grumble as Naoya looked at him with an apologetic gaze.
“.. She’s right, you know.”
“Dude—! Not you too!” Masao exclaimed, seeming genuinely surprised. Small chuckles were let out once more before the short boy frantically turned to Reiji.
“Reiji, you’ve gotta back me up here..!”
Reiji could only shrug, “Not my problem,” he replied, mostly not actually caring. Masao could only deny defeat for so long, as Hidehiko decided to hover his hand over his beanie.
“Here, Mark. Let me do the honours—” He declared as he then snatched the other’s beanie off with ease, raising his arm high up so that it was practically impossible for Masao to reach. Bless his genes for making him almost as tall as Reiji (he is just two centimetres off, so they’re basically equal!). Masao screeched as his beanie was taken off, causing Hidehiko to basically cackle.
“Omigod, Mark!” Yuka clasped her hands together, “We’ve got to style your hair. Come with me!” Yuka was quick to hook her arm with Masao’s and immediately dragged him out of the art room. Reiji decided to follow behind the loud pair, possibly to provide Masao some moral support. Once the three of them were gone, Hidehiko put his arm down, still clutching onto the beanie. He glanced at Naoya, who was smiling softly once more. Hidehiko provided back a smile of his own, holding out the beanie to him.
“So that Mark doesn’t chase after me for it,” Hidehiko reasoned, his grin only widening as he spoke again, “But please don’t tell him to put it back on. I’ve gotta see what Ayase did to his hair in the ceremony.”
Naoya nodded, taking the beanie and storing it in his bag. As he put it in his bag though, he suddenly paused, as if he forgot something or was contemplating on what to do next. However, before Hidehiko could ask, the raven-haired boy rummaged through his bag, a focused expression on his face. Hidehiko watched as Naoya’s expressions subtly changed from focus, to panic, to questioning.. and then finally, to relief. He had a relieved smile on his face as he pulled out what he was looking for:
A cassette tape.
Naoya’s arm, the one holding the cassette tape, stretched towards Hidehiko, which caught the other by surprise. He glanced at the object presented in front of him, reading the writing that was plastered on the tape:
‘For Hidehiko’
His eyes widened as he took the tape, staring at it in awe for a moment before turning his gaze back at Naoya. He probably had a baffled expression on his face since Naoya huffed out a chuckle the moment they made eye-contact, which made Hidehiko’s cheeks redden a little once again.
“I meant to give it to you earlier, but it slipped out of my mind,” Naoya stated, with what Hidehiko could only assume was a hint of nervousness in his voice. Probably just imagining things , he reminded himself as he carefully stored the cassette tape in his pocket.
“Well, I’ve got it now, which is all that matters~,” Hidehiko commented, shooting Naoya a wink. “Don’t wanna damage it during the ceremony, though. My bag’s back upstairs if you wanna come with?”
Naoya nodded in response, closing his bag and exiting the art room along with Hidehiko, the smile on his face never faltering for a second.
That was the perfect moment to blurt out his feelings, and yet Hidehiko Uesugi was still a coward .
He came back home around the evening, happy yet also utterly exhausted . Going to a theme park with friends was fun, especially right after their graduation ceremony! But Hidehiko couldn’t recall the amount of times he felt borderline nauseated, having to sit out on the last few rides so that he doesn’t actually get sick. He wasn’t the only one sitting out on them, Eriko and Nanjo eventually joined him.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some tension in the air, perceiving the facial expressions of his friends as melancholic. The other two were far more reserved than he was, so perhaps they were expressing how much they were going to miss their high school days in silence. Or how much they were going to miss Naoya.
.. He bared a gloomy expression of his own for a moment before the rest of the group came back, announcing that it was getting late and that they should go home soon. They all departed into smaller groups, exchanging small mutters of “see you tomorrow”s that dissolved into the atmosphere.
Hidehiko’s mother pulled him into a warm embrace the second he closed the door, congratulating him on graduating and that she’s proud of how far he’s come. He smiled fondly at her words, basking in her warmth and letting himself melt into it. After what felt like an eternity, his mother pulled away, telling him that dinner’s in the fridge so that he can eat it whenever. He nodded, taking his shoes off and heading up to his room.
He set his bag on his bed and got changed out of his uniform for the last time, putting on his pyjamas and tossing his dirty uniform to the unofficial laundry pile corner in his room. He then unpacked his school bag, pulling out plushies he won at the theme park (which he totally won by himself, and not with the help of Naoya or Reiji on some occasions) as well as a picture of him and Masao screaming their heads off as they went down a rather intense roller coaster. It was awesome to experience that, but the photo cost more money than he thought it would. As he took out a couple of knick-knacks, he stumbled upon it once more.
The cassette tape.
It was still in good condition, no scratches on it and the writing still in-tact. Hidehiko stared at the tape for a good minute despite the only interesting thing on it being Naoya’s scruffy handwriting labelling the tape ‘ For Hidehiko ’. For his friend. For his friend who did not have very platonic feelings for him.
Honestly, it’s as if Naoya’s brain knows how to trigger Hidehiko in all the right ways, and it flusters him. Even if he gave everyone else something, Hidehiko is allowing himself to be selfish about this because hey, he got a whole mixtape dedicated to him!
Bless Mama and Papa Uesugi handing him down their cassette player when he was thirteen and obsessed with western ‘80s bands, because now he can finally use it for something other than background for whenever he bothers studying by himself (which was rare but not that rare). He approached the shelves where his cassette player and many comic books resided. He lightly cleaned up the player, blowing the excess dust away.
He was surprised Naoya gave him a cassette tape of all things, considering CDs were becoming way more popular. But he didn’t have a CD player yet, so it’s not like he could complain much, this was much more convenient for him. He turned it on, popped the tape in and pressed play. He adjusted the volume slightly so the music doesn’t roar through his house, but he made sure it was loud enough so that he could listen to it in almost every part of his room. He didn’t recognise the first song, and it seemed much more like Naoya’s style than his own, but he lightly bobbed his head to the rhythm as he tidied up his room a little (which was just clearing his bed of all he chucked on it).
The first song was over in no time, and then a foreign song played next. He only had so much knowledge of the English language, but he understood all the basic stuff.
And his limited knowledge could easily figure out this song was a love song. Despite the melody, the echoes of ‘want you’s and ‘want me’s, as if the song was bickering to itself. He chuckled a bit, but he couldn’t help wondering why a love song was put in. He doesn’t know if the playlist is of song recommendations Naoya gave him or if it’s songs that he reminds Naoya of.. But he’s only two songs in, so he can’t determine that at the moment.
As more songs play, Hidehiko realises just the sheer amount of mentions of ‘love’, ‘want’, ‘like’ and so on, both in the foreign songs and in the Japanese songs he can perfectly understand. He’s long done clearing his bed, now laying on it as he listens to the next song play. He categorises the songs in the following two sections: the angsty love songs that express the yearn of love but never quite getting it, and the songs that aren’t angsty, but rather groovy and practically screaming ‘I love you’.
And Hidehiko is so confused .
Because if this is a recommendation mixtape, then he’s a little offended that his friend couldn’t put in songs that talk about anything other than love, because he knows that’s not all he can talk about. Of course managing to swoon people by being the centre of attention is a bonus, but he’s toned down his extravagant side to focus on his studies, so he doesn’t get all the similar themes in the songs.
However, if this is a mixtape of songs that remind Naoya of Hidehiko, then he is both flattered and more confused . If he isn’t mistaken, thinking about love songs when you’re around your friend who you have a platonic bond with is not something normal . But what if he’s interpreting wrong? Everyone who’s ever known him knows how wrongly he can misinterpret things, even Hidehiko himself knows that (even if it isn’t until much later), so maybe these songs are all platonic in the end.
He huffs as the last song comes to an end and the mixtape stops, furrowing his eyebrows. He gets up to turn off his cassette player, with more questions than answers.
Maybe if he didn’t like Naoya romantically, he might not doubt himself with the meaning of the songs in the mixtape and be able to casually enjoy it. Unfortunately, that’s not the case! The Great Hidehiko ‘Brown’ Uesugi likes his friend romantically and might be delusional enough to think the feelings are mutual! Point and laugh!
He lets out a groan of frustration, flopping onto his bed and pressing his pillow onto his face, letting out a more drawn out and angrier groan. He puts the pillow back to its original place, frowning. No amount of jokes will save him from this slightly distressing state, so he does the next stupidest thing he could do.
He picks up his phone from his bedside and dials Yuka’s phone number. He doesn’t even know what time it is, but he needs to let someone know how muddled he feels and that he may have gone insane. Yuka picks up almost instantly, though she sounds a little annoyed.
“Brown, it’s getting late,” She complained, “What was so important that you had to call me about it?”
“Uh–” He stuttered over his words for a moment before clearing his throat, “Are you willing to listen in on a quick story?”
“Fine, but only because you sound, like, genuinely not good.”
Hidehiko huffs out a sarcastic thanks before explaining the events of how he got the cassette tape and the lead up to the confusion, trying not to ramble on about the same thing but he wants to reiterate the fact that Naoya’s mixtape is basically 99 percent love songs.
“— And I just don’t know if I’m interpreting it wrong. You know how I am, I can’t read the room well until I leave it and think about it again after like, a month. I don’t wanna ruin what I have with Naorin because I was dumb enough to think his mixtape was a confession.”
Hidehiko takes a deep breath, signifying that he is done talking. There’s silence on the other end of the phone, and he begins to worry. Has Yuka already hung up on him? Did she fall asleep listening to him? Before he could utter any words out of his mouth, Yuka’s voice finally came through the receiver.
“ Hidehiko, ” she’s using his actual first name in a tone that can be described as angry, this was bad , “Are you genuinely a fucking idiot?!”
“Wh–”
“ How have you not seen the signs?! The way he lets you have your arm around him and leans into your touch, his shittily suppressed laughs at your jokes, wants your opinion on things that you don’t even know about despite knowing Yukino and Nanjo are right there – Remember when he lent you his scarf during winter even though everyone knows he hates lending his clothes? When he would lead you to the music room to listen to a new song he learnt and only you —”
“Not everyone in the group is that interested in music compared to the two of us! And those other points don’t matter, because first off—”
“Hidehiko, he likes you, god dammit! Anyone with functioning eyes can see that..!!”
That was enough to shut the both of them up for what felt like a century, but in reality was just a few seconds. Yuka took a deep breath and cleared her throat before speaking.
“I am not arguing with you about this, Brown,”
“But you—”
“ Ahem, ” Despite not being in the same room as her, Hidehiko could feel Yuka’s eyes narrowing at him, “Tomorrow you better say something. If I don’t hear back from either you or Naoya, I’ll make sure that missed opportunity tortures you for the rest of your life .”
He screeches as Yuka hangs up on him. She didn’t even tell him goodbye, just left Hidehiko off with a threat. A threat that she is very capable of doing. He puts his phone away, sighing.
What is he going to do now ?
Hidehiko Uesugi was a bag of nerves .
He’s supposed to be out of the house in five minutes, but he’s too busy contemplating if his outfit looks right. This wasn’t even a formal party— It was a get-together with friends before Naoya leaves Mikage-Cho tomorrow, and he’s wondering if his outfit is too casual for the other, as if they haven’t seen each other with just underwear on. He seems satisfied enough with the outfit he’s chosen (he would change it yet again but he knows his time is limited) and heads downstairs.
His mother greets him and he greets her back as he puts on his boots, pulling on the velcro-straps like clockwork. He puts his hand on the door handle, but stops himself. He bites his lip, glancing back at his mother who’s sitting on the couch reading.
“.. Ma’?”
“Hm? Yes, Hide?” She turns her head to look at him with the same motherly smile she always bears. Hidehiko looked down at the ground, feeling his face warm up a little.
“Do I.. look okay?” He asks in a quiet tone, clearly not used to asking such questions. He’s usually a lot more confident than this, but today was going to be nerve-wracking dammit!
His mother just laughs lightheartedly, clearly not expecting the question. He looks back up at her and relaxes his shoulders a little, knowing he doesn’t need to be tense around her. She stays silent for a bit, but her smile widens.
“You look amazing, sweetheart. Whoever you’re trying to impress will think so too.”
He blushes at that comment, stammering over his words before uttering Okaybyeloveyou! and leaving the house. The wind cools him down a bit as he makes his way to Nanjo’s place, though his anxiety stays on the back of his mind.
Maybe today Hidehiko Uesugi won’t be a coward.
As he was told, Naoya arrived a little later than everyone else, though he did not do a dramatic entrance which Hidehiko commented on, causing Naoya to stifle a tiny chuckle and nudge him on the shoulder before everyone went back to their own thing. He wants to pull Naoya aside, to tell him ‘hey, did you confess your possible feelings for me through your mixtape?’, but it’s not easy when literally everyone else also wants to talk to him. Well, duh , it’s his going-away party, of course people want to talk to him.
He drinks his soda as he solemnly watches Naoya and Nanjo talk, but he realises how creepy that is and just resorts to staring at his drink. Maki, Eriko and Yuka went off to bake something for Naoya, and Yukino and Masao are chatting amongst themselves, though they stand by the kitchen in case anything happens (which likely won’t, but considering two out of the three girls baking have a tendency to be clumsy, he understands their worry). He feels a gentle nudge on his arm and looks to his side to see Reiji. The other motions his head to a certain direction, and so Hidehiko follows. It’s where Naoya and Nanjo are talking, but he can tell from afar that the conversation is fizzling out. He takes a large swig of his drink and puts it down, nodding at Reiji before heading over, ignoring the anxiety in his head growing rapidly.
“Heya, chumps!” He greets the two of them, “Not joining the girls in the kitchen?”
Naoya shook his head whereas Nanjo had a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Perhaps I should check,” Nanjo said, “I don’t want them to cause a big mess..” He glanced at Naoya, “It was good chatting with you. I’ll see you once the cake’s done.” And with that, Nanjo was off. The other two watched him go to the kitchen, which was shortly followed by a loud shriek. Both of them shared a look, not saying anything before Hidehiko muttered.
“Is this a good time to pull you aside?”
Naoya nodded instantly, leading the two of them outside as most of the group was busy with whatever was going on in the kitchen. As Hidehiko looked back, he shared a glance with Reiji, who only gave him a small smile of encouragement. He smiled back, turning his gaze back to the front door Naoya opened. He steps outside, the late afternoon air hitting him and almost cooling him down. But his nerves are starting to get the best of him. No matter, he thinks to himself, he can get straight to the point.
“I listened to your mixtape last night,” He declared, not quite meeting the other’s eyes, “And it’s good. I like it.”
“Oh. I’m.. glad.” Naoya replied, his expression hard to read. Hidehiko huffed a breath, mentally telling himself to not stammer on his words.
“Do you like me?”
And he immediately regrets saying that despite the fact that that’s what he wanted to say for ages . He witnesses Naoya’s expression turn into a startled one, his face reddening. He looks down, not meeting Hidehiko’s eyes and shutting his own for a few seconds. Hidehiko wants to ask if he’s okay, to tell him that they can just ignore this interaction— But Naoya’s gaze quickly pierces his own, his expression neutral to not give away how he truly felt in that moment.
“Yeah, I do.” He declares, his voice loud and clear. Hidehiko’s jaw drops as he gawks at Naoya, not sure how to respond. On one hand, yay! Hidehiko is Naoya’s top romantic interest! But on the other hand—
“I don’t get it,” He responds, and he’s given a quizzical look. “Well, I’m flattered , y’know. It’s cool that you like me, but don’t you have better choices?”
“Wh..? Hey, don’t—”
“I mean, c’mon, two of the most elegant people I know of look at you like they wanna kiss you under the moonlight, and Maki’s also a good choice– It’s a bit silly to be liking Brown out of everyone you know, don’tcha think?”
He might’ve accidentally triggered something within Naoya, because now the other was furrowing his brows in frustration.
“I– No. I like you as you , Hidehiko Uesugi, not as Brown. It’s not silly of me to think of you as that,” his voice was still cool despite his visible frustration, “And the others, I don’t– like them like that. They’re not my type.”
“But I am?” Hidehiko asks without much thought, which makes Naoya chuckle, his frustrated demeanour disappearing in an instant. His expression went back to being neutral as well as deep in thought.
“You gain something from it,” the other shrugs, “But seriously.. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I thought maybe you’d do something first, but it never came.”
The redhead is ready to cover his face out of embarrassment, because of course Naoya knew that Hidehiko likes him romantically. He cursed himself, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Ah, god, I’m sorry..” Hidehiko says, “I just, I dunno— I didn’t think you’d wanna date me. And you’re already leaving tomorrow, so it’s just.. Bad timing and all.” Naoya could only nod in agreement despite his sigh.
“I know.. But we’ll keep in touch. You’ve got my number already, and I’ll be coming back here any time I can.”
“Yeah, I know, but just— I don’t wanna start a whole relationship while you’re miles away from me. It’d be different if you were still in Japan, but you’re not..”
There was a tense silence in the air for a few seconds, and Hidehiko was tempted to just go back inside and pretend this interaction never happened. And then Naoya reached out to hold his hand . Not roughly, but he definitely didn’t make his grip a gentle one.
“Listen, we won’t start one now. We’re both going to be busy and the most we can do is see each other in person twice a year. But— ” He clears his throat, “My degree will only take about four years. I know it seems like a long time right now, but it’ll pass by in no time. After that, I’m moving back here and we can finally establish stuff.”
Hidehiko nods. That sounds like a good plan, it’d give them enough time to think this through. But he still has something on his mind, and it seems that his mouth might as well spill it out for him.
“We’re still not just friends, right?” He says, but is quick to clasp his mouth. Naoya smiles a little at the sight before nodding, “Not just friends, but not really boyfriends.”
Man, Naoya calling them boyfriends was nice , even if the whole point was to establish that they’re definitely not platonic and they’re only trying things out. He didn’t mind that, it was for the best for both of them. And it was way better than a full-on rejection.
“.. Not really boyfriends, I can work with that.” He gives Naoya’s hand a squeeze as a bashful smile creeps up his face, “Can I, uh— Nevermind.”
“Hm?” Naoya raises his brow, and is definitely smirking at Hidehiko. The other looks away, blush creeping up his cheeks again.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks in a quiet tone, and he doesn’t get a verbal response. Rather, Naoya leans in and plants a chaste kiss on Hidehiko’s lips, which did not last long enough, in Hidehiko’s opinion. As Naoya was pulling away, he was quick to grab his cheeks and reel him back in with a more tender, longer-lasting kiss. They stay like that for a while before Naoya pulls away once more, wanting to catch his breath. Hidehiko needs to do that too, but kissing Naoya is so nice and he’d do it a million times if it was possible. Unfortunately, life doesn’t quite work out to his favour, and he doesn’t want anyone walking in on them doing anything romantic, especially kissing.
Hidehiko was not really paying attention to the fact that Naoya was giggling, so he tilted his head in confusion. The other gave a small smile in response.
“.. I’m gonna get you some paper before we join the others.” Before he could ask why, the raven-haired boy took Hidehiko’s hand and dragged him back inside, making his way to the bathroom (he assumes so anyways, Nanjo’s house was huge ). He couldn’t stop smiling, though, because by some miracle, he got the guy.
Hidehiko Uesugi was a bit less of a coward today, and hopefully for the future to come.