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Bucky woke from nightmares almost every night. He didn’t want them to be real; he wanted them to stop. But they always haunted him, a memory of what was—each terrifyingly real in their own way. It only would take him a few minutes for him to give up on sleep altogether.
Sometimes his dreams revealed things to him; things that had previously been missing from his fried brain. But nothing was as shocking as this nightmare.
It wasn’t a conventional nightmare from his time at Hydra. Nothing like the electroshock therapy or missions he went on.
It had been the aftermath of a mission gone wrong. But it wasn’t the Soldier who was punished, not in the physical sense anyway. No, his punishment got passed onto someone else. A woman. A woman that the Winter Soldier seemed to care about if his screams and pounding at the wall were anything to go by.
His screams went on until Bucky couldn’t stand it anymore and finally woke himself up.
That dream was why he was there now. In Stark’s lab, trying to find anything he could on the woman that was with him. The Hydra files had been leaked, so she had to be in there somewhere. He jumped when he heard a voice next to him.
“Didn’t Rogers tell you not to go looking up stuff about yourself?” Tony Stark questioned, peeking over Bucky’s shoulder.
“Stark! Oh, uh…. What are you doing here?”
“It is my lab, isn’t it?” Tony questioned, a sarcastic grin on his face. He watched Bucky try to hide whatever he was searching behind his back.
“Right, of course,” Bucky mumbled, “but it’s like three in the morning.”
“Well, when Friday alerts me that someone is in my lab, I have to go check it out, right?”
“I didn’t mean to wake you… I just wanted… well, I just wanted to find something.”
“Nightmare?”
“Huh?”
“You had a nightmare and something came back to you, am I right?”
“How…” Bucky looked so lost. How did this man know? He’s never interacted with him much due to the fact that his alter ego killed Stark’s parents. They had a sort of agreement: you stay away from me, I’ll stay away from you.
“Rogers talks, gives me updates on how you’re doing.”
Bucky came to a conclusion: “Because you don’t trust me.”
“Hmm, I wouldn’t say that. I just want to know how your recovery is coming along.”
“And why would you want to know that?”
“I’m not a heartless monster despite what everyone seems to think,” Tony sardonically countered, a rueful smile on his face. Sure he’s made mistakes in the past, but so does everyone else. He just had his mistakes laid out for the world to see since he was young. The pitfalls of fame. “So, what are you looking for?”
Bucky sighed. He wasn’t sure he wanted anyone to know about her. He didn’t want her to come to the tower and be some lab rat. It hadn’t happened to him, but he couldn’t be too sure when it came to her.
On the other hand, if anyone could find this mysterious girl, it would be Stark.
Bucky looks back at Tony who is looking at him expectantly. “There was this girl…”
Bucky looks back at Tony who is looking at him expectantly. “There was this girl…”
Tony raised a brow, unsure to where this was going.
“She was a captive with me… I think…”
“Another one of you?”
“No! No, she was different… I’m pretty sure, at least.”
“So what? You want to go rescue her?”
Bucky sighed, his head down. “I just feel like I owe her, y’know? I just left her there. All on her own.”
Tony frowned. Everything in him was telling him it was a bad idea. “And what if she’s not like how you remember? What then?”
“I don’t know!” Bucky runs his hand through his hair. “We could take her to Wakanda?”
“And how would we get her to agree to come with us in the first place?”
“Stark, please. I don’t ask for much. I didn’t even ask for you to provide me with a home. Maybe I haven’t earned any favours from you, but I’ll just have to owe you some more, okay?”
Tony frowned. “Sure, Terminator. Whatever you say.”
“Wait, what? You’ll-you’ll help me?” Bucky looked so confused, like a lost puppy almost.
“Don’t tell the rest of the team, but I actually don’t hate you… not as much anyway.” Tony shrugged, brushing Barnes aside so he could do some research. “She have a name?”
“They always called her Angel ‘cause she had wings, I s’pose,” Bucky shrugged, looking at the ground.
“How original.”
Bucky hummed at Stark’s quip, blanking out.
His mind went to a time when they were together. In his cell. Where he stayed until he was needed, had to be reset, or had to be put back in cyro. The soldier liked that cell. It meant safety to him. The only semblance of comfort the Winter Soldier ever received.
He remembered.
Gentle hands on his torn flesh, mending every blemish on his body. Gentle kisses on his hairline through the pain. Encouraging words, getting him through his dismal life. She was one of the good ones—no, the only good one.
“Found her!” Stark smiled, looking at Barnes who had snapped out of his trance upon hearing the billionaire. “Says they relocated her to Austria.”
Bucky furrowed his brows. Austria? Why there? Hydra never took him there. In hindsight, that was probably why they took her there. So that their former asset didn’t come looking for her at the bases he had been dragged to.
“I’m going there now,” Bucky grumbled, stalking out the door.
“Wait up there, buddy. You’re not going without a team.”
“I can’t be reprogrammed. The Wakandans got rid of everything.”
“That’s not why, Barnes. This could be a trap and Steve would kill me if he were to find out I left you to go out there alone.”
Tony sighed, noticing Bucky’s unwavering stance. “You owe me one, yeah? I’m calling in a favour.”
Bucky spluttered. “That’s not—why—I didn’t mean…”
“Go to bed Barnes. Get some rest. We’ll have a team ready bright and early.”
The next morning, bright and early as Stark had promised, a jet was being loaded up. Tony, Steve, Sam, and of course, Bucky were all geared up to go.
They arrived in Austria not long after. They had a while to walk, but Bucky knew it was going to be worth it. Seeing her again would be worth everything. He needed her like he needed oxygen to breathe. That part of the Winter Soldier was all that seemed to remain. The part that loved Angel.
When they arrived at the base, it was deserted. No one was there at all. There were no heat signatures, and no Hydra soldiers trying to kill the group of Avengers.
“Are you sure this is the place, Stark?” Sam questioned.
“It’s gotta be,” Stark frowned, examining his surroundings.
“Maybe we’re too late,” Steve said, caution lacing his words. He could only imagine how much this woman meant to his best friend with how he had been acting.
Bucky froze in front of one of the cells, his face blank.
“You find something, Barnes?” Tony called out, noticing him pause.
Bucky’s heart had stopped upon seeing the figure in the cell. Her white wings were painted an ugly crimson colour as was the rest of her body. She was mutilated for lack of better words. He could tell it was her, though. They had left her face in pristine condition. Almost as if to mock him. Crimson letters across the wall read: “You’re too late, Солдат.”
His heart shattered. Tears that he didn’t know he still had from all the years of torture and abuse streamed down his face. He didn’t even realise he was screaming until Steve pulled him into his arms.
Steve shushed him, reassuring words falling on deaf ears. He turned Bucky away from the horrible sight, brushing his hand through his hair in a comforting gesture. They rocked back and forth as Bucky sobbed.
It wasn’t fair. It was so fucking unfair. Why did he get to live? He was a monster that didn’t deserve to get out of Hydra alive. She was the embodiment of good. She deserved so much better. She deserved to make it out of Hydra alive. It was his fault that she died.
No pain medication, no salve, no bandage could make it better—the ache in his heart. She had meant the world to him. In a world of pain and misery, she was the only good thing. She was a treasure that he should have protected.
“Guys this place is set to blow! We need to get out of here, now!” Tony yelled.
Steve tried to get Bucky up, he tried to make Bucky run out of there with him. All Bucky kept murmuring was that he deserved to die. He didn’t protect his Angel. He should die with her.
Steve had to carry him out of that building in a fireman’s carry. Call him selfish, but Steve could not let his friend down again.
“C’mon, get in!” Stark urged, having flown in his Iron Man suit to get the jet closer.
It was something straight out of a movie the way that they flew out of there, explosion in the background. In any other context it would have been a cool moment. The team couldn’t, however, seem to care.
The ride back to the tower was nearly silent. All that could be heard was the engine and Bucky’s whimpering cries.