Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beca was sitting at a high table in the local Starbucks, casually swinging her legs back and forth as she awaited a text from her girlfriend. Luisa had agreed that morning to come and meet her there after DSM practice wrapped up.

The brunette checked her phone, her brow furrowing as she realized it had been ten minutes since their agreed meeting time. “Huh. Maybe there’s traffic or something...” Her lips pursed in concern. “But she’s never been late before. Ever...”

Another ten minutes had passed, and Beca was getting anxious. The coffee she had ordered was already finished, so she went to throw it away. Staring at the text she had sent, she decided to check the convention center downtown, where DSM’s practice had been held. She sent another quick text to Luisa and made her way over.

As she arrived, Beca saw a flock of DSM members going home for the day. Most of the crew acknowledged her presence, waving or nodding to her as they passed by. She smiled and waved back, then made her way to the auditorium.

Pieter was there, having just finished changing, and was packing up his uniform. The man looked up as he heard the Beca's footsteps and grinned, motioning her over. “Beca! Good to see you!”

He pulled her into a hug, and the girl giggled, happily returning it. “Hey, Pieter. You know where Luisa is?”

Pieter scratched his head in thought. “Eh... I don’t know. She may still be in the changing room.”

Beca nodded. “Awesome, thanks. See ya later!”

Pieter waved goodbye as he left, and Beca headed toward the changing room, a little troubled that Luisa hadn’t said anything about being late, but relieved that nothing had happened to her. As she neared the changing room, she heard an odd groaning sound, like... a woman in pain?

Beca’s brain suddenly filled with terrible images of Luisa being injured, and she rushed toward the door, violently shoving it open. “Luisa! Are you hurt?? What hap-”

Beca stood frozen, staring at the scene in front of her. As the door had banged open, Luisa and one of her teammates–Beca couldn’t even think of the girl’s name at the moment– had quickly broken apart. The girl adjusted her skirt and scurried out, brushing past the astonished brunette.

“–pened...”

Luisa moved to stand up. “Mäuschen, I can explain.”

Beca shook her head, staring at the ground. “No.”

“Liebling, please...”

“No!” The brunette glared at the taller woman, her eyes brimming with tears. “You have no right to call me that after what I just saw!”

Luisa sighed. “You are right, I don’t... but please, listen to me-”

Beca crossed her arms, not even wanting to look at her. “No, Luisa. I don’t want to hear whatever shitty excuse you’re going to pull out of your ass. It won’t save you.”

“Mäuschen...”

“No. You listen to me. You promised that we’d meet at Starbucks, you left me waiting there for twenty minutes, you never texted me back, I had to come here looking for you... I thought you died or something, Luisa, for fuck’s sake!”

Luisa tried to speak, but Beca cut her off, her eyes narrowing. “But no... you were perfectly fine. So fine that, as I came in here thinking you were dying, I found you with your hands up some other girl’s skirt instead...”

“Beca...”

“Luisa, I... is it me...?” Beca's started to waver. “Did... did I do something to make this happen...?”

Luisa's heart sank at the assumption. “Beca, no... of course not. I... I was not thinking.” She reached out to console the girl, but was rebuffed as Beca backed away.

“Don’t touch me!” Tears were streaming down her face as she snarled at the taller woman. “Get those filthy hands away from me. How dare you.”

Luisa winced like she had been physically struck by the girl’s words. She hung her head, nodding in reluctant understanding, and held her hands up in surrender. “Okay... I won’t touch you.”

Beca fell back against the door, sliding down until she was hugging her knees. “I can’t believe this...” She laughed dryly. “I just...” She shook her head, wiping her tears and trying her best to compose herself.

After a moment, she picked herself up from the floor and turned, leaving Luisa to watch speechlessly as she walked away. Luisa washed her hands, then slumped onto a nearby bench, dropping her face into her hands as she sighed heavily.

“Scheiße...”

Her phone buzzed next to her, and she picked it up as she saw Beca’s name flash on the screen. As she scanned the contents of the text, she blinked at the words, her brain refusing to process them.

If you’re not going to be serious about this relationship, then we can’t do this. I can’t do this. I’m packing my things. I’ll be out in a couple hours. Don’t apologize. Don’t beg me for forgiveness. This is goodbye. – Beca

“No...” Luisa shook her head vigorously, checking and re-checking the message. “No, no, no...”

She sprinted out of the convention center and looked around frantically, unsure of what she wanted to do. Raking a frantic hand through her hair, she decided to walk to her car, and got inside. She sat, staring at the dashboard, hoping that time would just turn back.

"Scheiße!" Luisa groaned in frustration as images of a heartbroken, tear-stricken Beca wouldn’t leave her mind, and she started up the car, driving without any particular destination. She allowed her mind to slip into autopilot and drove quietly, eventually ending up at a bar on the edge of town.

Luisa stared for a moment at the building, debating on whether to go in or not. She sighed to herself. “You’ve already lost her. Perhaps it’s better to forget while you still can.” Shaking away any further doubts, she got out of her car and solemnly headed toward the entrance.

Chapter Text

Luisa dragged her feet as she nudged the door open with her shoulder. The bar was relatively empty, only a few patrons sitting around and drinking quietly or playing pool. The bartender was cleaning a glass when she saw the German walk up and seat herself.

She tilted her head as the blonde sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. "You look like you need something strong. What can I get you?"

The blonde waved her hand around vaguely. "Whatever you have. I need to stop thinking right now."

The bartender nodded, pouring the other woman a glass of bourbon. "Things aren't so great, huh?"

Luisa studied the scratches in the worn countertop as she responded. "My girlfriend is leaving me."

The bartender tsked. "Ooh, that's rough. Here." She offered Luisa the rest of the bottle. "I guess you'll need that."

The German nodded and downed her first glass, cringing as the liquid scorched its way down her throat and into her stomach. She slammed the glass back down on the table, grimacing. "Why do you Americans like these burning alcohols so much...?"

The bartender shrugged. "We don't. It just takes our minds off of whatever's botherin' us, ya know?"

Luisa looked at her, then looked at the bottle. "I understand..."

After a few more shots, the blonde had almost forgotten why she was sitting in a bar at the edge of town. She took the almost half-empty bottle in her hand, chuckling as the letters started to turn fuzzy, and poured another shot into her glass.

Her phone buzzed and she took it out, squinting at the name on the screen. Pieter? Hm. Whatever it is, he can wait. She nodded to herself and set her phone on the counter, downing another shot. The burning liquid was almost soothing at that point.

Another couple shots later, she had nearly finished the bottle. Her mind had changed courses from uplifted to tortured as images of Beca began to re-appear. The German clutched her head, growling at the intrusion, and headed for the restroom.

The walk to the restroom was short, as it was right next to the bar, but Luisa's vision had blurred tremendously in the last... twenty minutes? Hour? She couldn’t tell anymore. The blonde made it to the door, leaning heavily against it, and pushed her way inside.

She stumbled over to the sink, bracing herself against it. Her brain felt like it was on fire, and she groaned in anguish. Shaking her head, Luisa turned on the faucet, splashing her face with cold water, then turned it back off.

As she stared at her distorted reflection in the mirror, it started to change. The German's brow furrowed in confusion as her reflection shrank, and... there was Beca. The image of the brunette stared back at her with empty eyes, and spoke.

"Why did you do it?"

The blonde hesitated. "I... I don't know..."

"You don't love me."

"Of course I do!" Luisa leaned toward the girl's image, her forehead pressing against the cool glass. Her body started to shake with the emotions she had been trying to suppress. "I do..."

"You don't. You're lying."

"I'm not lying!" The German snarled, tears falling freely as anger coursed through her veins and spread like wildfire. "I love you, what more do you want??"

"Nothing."

"Nothing??"

"There's nothing you can offer me. You don't have anything I want."

The blonde's eyes widened. "No. That's not true." She growled, yelling at the distorted image. "Tell me that's not true!"

"Goodbye, Luisa."

As Beca's image faded, Luisa put hers hands to the mirror, scrambling to bring the girl back. "Nein... Nein!" 

In a fit of rage, the German began to smack her hand against the mirror, quickly accelerating until her hand balled into a fist and– *crack*. Luisa didn’t have time to question what happened. Her head was spinning, her vision was getting blurrier, and everything went black.

Chapter Text

"Luisa..."

Beca?

"Luisa...?" It was definitely Beca. She sounded scared. "God, is she even breathing??"

The blonde felt light pressure somewhere around her neck and another voice cut in. "She definitely has a pulse. I think she will be okay."

Pieter...

Luisa willed her eyes open, and her vision slowly focused. She was back in her apartment, lying on her couch. Pieter and Beca were leaning over her, both of their faces etched with deep concern. Pieter smiled faintly as he noticed she had woken up.

"Ah, you have returned." His smile widened a bit as he cracked a light joke.

The woman's eyes shifted to Beca. The brunette's arms were crossed and she was worrying her lip. She glanced down at the taller woman, then looked away again, but Luisa had seen the hurt that flashed through the girl's eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak, but found that her mouth was too dry. Pieter took notice and quickly helped her to a glass of water. The blonde cleared her throat. "Beca..." She cringed at how hoarse her voice sounded, but she continued. "I..."

"Save it. This is the last favor I'm doing for you. We're done."

"Beca..."

The girl was already on her way out. “Beca, wait!” Luisa sat up, but winced as her head pounded, and Pieter gently pushed her back down. "Easy, easy..."

The blonde groaned. "What- what happened...?"

"You passed out. The bartender found you in the restroom and called the last number on your phone."

Luisa sighed. "Beca..."

Pieter nodded. "She asked me to help." He hesitated. "She... she seems very angry... What did you-"

The woman shook her head, pleading with her eyes that the subject wasn't worth expanding on. Her friend understood, and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "Okay."

Luisa sighed heavily, draping an arm over her eyes. "Thank you..."

The blonde winced as her hand brushed against the back of the couch, and she pulled it away, her brow furrowing as she found layers of gauze wrapped around her hand and arm. She glanced at Pieter, waiting for an explanation.

"You broke the mirror."

The woman examined her hand. "Did I break any bones?"

"Luckily, no. Many cuts and a lot of blood. We had to take you to the hospital for stitches.”

Luisa sighed again, and slowly sat up. Pieter shifted, unsure of what to do. "Do you need anything else?"

His friend shook her head as she stood up, holding onto the man's shoulder for balance. " Go home, Pieter. Please. I don't want to burden you."

Pieter scoffed. "Nonsense. You are not a burden. If you need help, tell me."

"I don't. I'm fine."

The man sighed, shaking his head at the blonde's stubbornness, but let it go. "We have practice tomorrow, but you should-”

"I will rest, then go to practice." Luisa put her hand on her friend's shoulder reassuringly. "I will be fine."

Pieter looked doubtful. “No. Stay home.”

The blonde stared at him. “I can’t do that. I have a team to-”

“I’m serious, Luisa. Please. You are not well. Rest as long as you need to.”

Luisa bit her tongue to keep from arguing, knowing that her friend had a point, and she sighed. “Fine.”

“I will come by after practice to check on you, ja?”

The woman hummed in reluctant approval and waved goodbye with her uninjured hand as Pieter left. She shut the door, leaning back against it for a moment, and took in the state of her apartment for the first time since she had woken up.

Luisa squinted, trying to figure out why it looked so different, then it hit her. Beca. The earlier confrontations with the smaller girl came rushing back to her, and she realized that all of Beca's things were gone. The German made her way to the bedroom, her heart dropping at the sight of the eerily clean room.

There was no trace of the brunette that had slept there for the past three months, and the bed was actually made for the first time in what seemed like forever. Luisa sank to her knees as reality settled in, dissipating the remnants of drunken haze in her brain.

Moving suddenly felt like too much effort and the woman crawled toward her bed, dragging herself up onto the mattress, and simply laid there on her side. She glanced up at the sole picture frame that was left in the room, a photo of Beca and herself from the early days of their relationship.

Tears returned to the blonde's eyes, and she put the frame facedown on the table, turning away from it. She came face to face with Beca's pillow, and she reached out tentatively, as if touching it would shatter the memory of the girl.

The German took the pillow, hugging it to her chest and was overwhelmed by the brunette's scent that was still left in the fabric. All resolve broke as her body shook and tears began to fall once again, the emptiness of the bed driving the woman into an uneasy sleep.

Chapter Text

*ring ring*

“Mm... five more minutes...”

*ring ring*

“Huh? Wha?” Chloe was startled awake by her phone ringing next to her bed. She rubbed her eyes, then grabbed her phone, answering with a yawn. “Hello?”

“Hey, Chlo...”

“Beca? What’s up? It’s, like...” The redhead squinted at her clock. “3 in the morning.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I just... could you let me in?”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “Of course! I’ll be right there!” She hung up, hurrying to the door and opening it for her friend. “I didn’t know you were here. Jeez, Becs, why didn’t you say anything?” 

The redhead’s face fell as she took in the other girl's downhearted look. "Beca...? What's going on...?"

"Whoa!" Chloe caught the brunette as she fell forward, her body wracking with sobs. The older girl hushed Beca gently, rubbing her back. "Hey... let's get you inside, okay?"

The redhead helped her friend in, nudging the door closed with her foot, and led Beca over to the couch. She sat and held the smaller girl, who curled up against her. "You wanna talk about it...?"

Beca sniffed, laying her head down in Chloe's lap. "I... I left Luisa..."

The redhead's eyes widened. "What? Oh my god, what happened?"

“I waited for her, Chlo... We were supposed to meet, and- and she wasn't there, so..." The brunette started to shake again, and her friend put a hand on her shoulder in sympathy.

"Becs... If this is too hard for you, we don't have to-"

"She cheated on me..."

Chloe's brow furrowed in concern. "What? That doesn't sound like her at all." She hesitated. "Are you sure...?"

Beca sat up, looking her friend dead in the eyes. "You didn't see her hands up another girl's skirt. I did.”

“I...” The older girl blinked, trying to process the information. “That’s terrible.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry...”

“Chloe...”

“Yeah?”

Beca looked at her friend, and the redhead’s heart broke at seeing how helpless and lost the smaller girl looked. “What do I do...?”

Chloe pursed her lips in thought. “I honestly don’t know, Becs... I think that’s something you have to decide, you know? But you should try and move on. Do things that won’t remind you of her.”

The brunette nodded. “Um... can I stay here? I don’t think there’s really anywhere else I can go.” She shrugged. “I mean, I could go to my dad, but... then I’d have to explain, and that’d just be-”

Chloe put a hand on her friend’s arm, smiling tentatively. “I get it. Of course you can stay here.” She draped her arm around Beca’s shoulder, hugging her close. “Really, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t take you in at a time of need?”

The smaller girl cracked a tiny smile. “Thanks, Chlo. I owe you.”

“Don’t worry about it. This is about you.” She turned to the other girl. “Hey. Look at me.” Her eyes gleamed with determination. “I’m gonna help you out of this slump, okay? We’ll get you through this. Together.”

Beca nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Chloe stood up, stretching. “Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s 3 in the morning, and I’m tired. You still know where everything is, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. I’m going back to bed. We’ll pick up Operation: Heart Healing tomorrow.”

Beca chuckled lightly. “So this is a whole operation now? I’m honored.”

Chloe beamed. “Anything for my best friend!”

“Um, speaking of which...” The brunette shifted back and forth on her heels. “Could I sleep with you?”

The older girl tilted her head. “What?”

“Not like that, but, like... just, you know. Regular sleeping.”

Realization dawned on the redhead. “Ohhh...” She smiled. “Yeah, totes! Get ready for bed, and... well, you know the drill. Come in whenever you’re ready.”

The smaller girl nodded, watching as her friend disappeared into her bedroom. She sighed, picking up the overnight bag that she had dropped by the door, and headed for the bathroom to change.

Beca grabbed her pajamas, quickly changing into them, but she stopped as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. The once sassy, rebellious “little spitfire”, as her dad would have called her, was gone. She almost didn’t recognize herself anymore.

The brunette shook the thoughts from her mind and made her way to the bedroom, where Chloe was already settled. The older girl smiled, patting the space next to her. Beca turned off the light, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and joined her friend in bed.

Out of instinct more than anything, she scooted backwards until her body was pressed against Chloe. The redhead automatically wrapped a protective arm around her friend, smiling as she felt Beca’s body relax, and rubbed the girl’s arm soothingly.

“Try to get some sleep, Becs. I know there’s a lot on your mind right now, but you’ve gotta give yourself a break.” Chloe reached up, gently combing through the brunette’s hair, and hummed a soft tune until the girl’s breathing evened out.

The redhead sighed to herself. “We’ll figure this out... right?” She drifted off to sleep again, holding her friend close, and hoping she could protect Beca as the question lay heavy on her mind.

Chapter Text

As DSM finished practicing their choreography for a number, Pieter clapped his hands to get his team’s attention. “Gute Arbeit, jeder.” (Good work, everyone.)

He called out various members’ names, informing each of them about things they could improve on, then addressed the whole team again. “Lasst uns eine Pause machen. Zehn Minuten.” (Let’s take a break. Ten minutes.)

Pieter watched as the group broke up to get water and talk to each other, and he sighed as he heard murmurs of his co-leader’s name drift past his ears. The man shook his head, taking his phone from his pocket, and stepped into the hallway to make a call.

“Hallo?”

“Luisa. Guten Morgen.” Pieter looked around, switching to English in case any team members might stumble upon their conversation. “How are you feeling?”

He was met with silence, then a deep sigh. “Pieter...”

“Right. Not good, probably... I suppose you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Not now, but... I will.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes.”

Pieter’s brow furrowed in concern. “Luisa...”

Another sigh. “Not yet.”

“Eat.”

“I can’t.”

“You must.”

“No, I really can’t right now. I’m not at home.”

“What? Then where-” The man glanced warily at the door to the performance hall. “Luisa, don’t tell me-“

*click*

“Hello?” Pieter looked at his phone, frowning at the “call ended” screen. “Verdammt...” He made his way back to the performance hall, but stopped in his tracks as soon as he stepped inside.

His entire team was frozen. Everyone had stopped talking and moving, instead staring at the main entrance where Luisa had walked in. The blonde strode slowly toward the stage, her bandaged hand tucked in a sling, and her eyes coldly sweeping over her petrified team.

“Wo ist Franziska?” (Where is Franziska?)

Pieter looked around, completely perplexed as everyone else stared silently at her. Luisa sighed and asked again, her voice low and threatening. “Wo ist sie?” (Where is she?)

A small brunette, about Beca’s size, timidly stood. She began to speak, but Luisa cut her off. “Raus!” (Get out!)

“Aber-” (But-)

“Jetzt!!” Luisa roared, pointing at the door with her uninjured hand. The girl yelped at the outburst and scrambled away, fleeing out the door. Pieter watched, bewildered, as his co-leader simply stood, staring at the floor. He made his way over, throwing his arms out in a questioning gesture. (Now!!)

“Luisa! Was zur Hölle??” (What the hell??)

The man took the blonde by her uninjured arm, leading her out into the hallway. “What was that??”

His friend refused to make eye contact, still gazing at the floor. “We didn’t need her.”

“We work as a team. Everyone. Together.”

Luisa crossed her arms, reiterating insistently. “We didn’t need her.”

Pieter sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Wait here.” He went back to the door, sticking his head inside the performance hall. “Wir sind fertig. Heimgehen.” (We’re done. Go home.)

As the team murmured in confusion, slowly moving to leave, Pieter rejoined his friend and they walked down the hallway together. “Luisa... what happened? Why did you-”

“I don’t need a reminder of my failure.”

“Failure?”

“I...” The blonde took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I was unfaithful. Franziska was involved. Beca found us in the changing room, and...”

Pieter watched as her face shifted, a barely visible twitch that only he would have noticed. “That’s why she was so angry the other night...” He looked away, unsure of what to say next. “Luisa... why...?”

The woman shook her head. “I don’t know...” She looked at her friend, and he could see the desperation in her eyes. “Pieter, I don’t know what to do. How do I make things right?”

The man shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, Luisa, I can’t-”

He grunted as he was shoved against a wall, the blonde’s fist balling up in his shirt. “Tell me!”

Pieter raised his hands slowly. “Luisa, you are not well. Please, go home...”

“No!”

“Luisa-”

“Not until you fix this!!”

Pieter stared at his friend incredulously. “What? Not until I fix this??”

Luisa realized her mistake, and quickly let go of her friend’s shirt. “Pieter...” She backed away as the man stood tall, his usually vibrant aura disappearing, replaced with crossed arms and a hard stare. “Pieter, I didn’t mean-”

“Of course not.”

Luisa’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“You never mean it.” He sighed. “I’m trying to help you, and what do you do? You push me away, you hurt me, you threaten me...” He gazed at his friend sadly. “I think you need time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Time away. You need to think about everything that has happened. You need to focus on yourself, and I need to focus on... keeping the team focused.”

The blonde’s eyes widened at Pieter’s implication. “No... you- you can’t do this.”

“Luisa-”

“Pieter, no.”

“You are-”

“Stop.”

“Suspended-”

“Pieter.”

“Until you know what you want.”

Luisa growled. “I know what I want! I want to be with the team! I want to perform! I want Beca!” She froze as she uttered the last sentence. “I... I want Beca...”

Pieter shook his head and started walking away. “Then perhaps you should have considered your actions more carefully.”

His final comment pushed the woman’s temper over the edge. “Halt die Klappe! That’s not your business!” She glared after him as he walked away silently. “Feigling!” (Shut up! Coward!)

Luisa stared down the now-empty hallway and clutched her head, groaning as she realized what she had done. “Idiot! You ruined your relationship, and now your most important friendship.” She sighed, taking out her phone and dialing Pieter’s number as she went to her car.

“Dies ist Pieter Krämers Telefon. Ich bin momentan nicht erreichbar -” (This is Pieter Kramer’s phone. I am currently unavailable-)

“Scheiße...” The blonde muttered as she hung up. She tapped her steering wheel idly, debating on where to go, as she had decided her apartment wasn’t a viable option. Her fingers stopped tapping as she thought of something, and she started the car, heading to her chosen destination.

Chapter Text

*knock knock knock*

“I’ll get it!” Chloe hurried to the door. “Huh. I wasn’t expecting anyone today. Wonder who it is...” She opened the door. “Hi, can I help y-”

Her face fell into a frown as she found Luisa standing on the other side of the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

The taller woman glanced past her into the apartment. “Is Beca here?”

Chloe crossed her arms, glaring at the blonde. “You know she is.”

“Could I speak with her?”

“She doesn’t want to see you.”

Luisa sighed. “I know. Could I at least leave a message?”

Chloe moved to close the door. “No.”

“Chlo, wait.”

The redhead stopped, looking around as Beca appeared. “It’s okay, Becs. I’ve got this.”

“Chloe...” The brunette glanced at the German, then sighed. “Let her in.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Chlo. Let her in.”

The redhead glanced between her friend and the woman who broke said friend’s heart. She huffed, reluctantly stepping aside. “Fine.” She pointed threateningly at the taller woman. “But if you do or say one wrong thing, you’re out.”

Beca put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Look, I appreciate the effort. Really, it’s awesome, but I need you to chill for a minute.” She gestured to her ex-girlfriend. “Clearly, we need to work some things out. Can you just... wait it out somewhere?”

Chloe pursed her lips, but nodded. “Okay.” She headed to her bedroom, squeezing Beca’s arm gently as she passed. “Keep her in line.”

Luisa narrowed her eyes. “I’m right here, you know.”

The redhead glanced back, smirking. “Oh, I know.”

The blonde clenched her fist as the girl left, but said nothing, turning to Beca instead. “Mau-... Beca...”

The smaller girl moved to the couch, motioning for the German to sit. “Why did you come here?”

“So I could explain.”

“I already told you. I don’t want to hear it.”

Luisa sighed. “Please... I feel terrible, Beca. I sent Franziska away, I drove Pieter away, I’ve been suspended from DSM...” She looked at the brunette helplessly. “I’ve lost everything...”

Beca crossed her arms. “You know what? A little chip in your ego might be for the best.”

The blonde stared at her. “A chip? Beca, I have literally nothing-”

The girl’s head snapped up as she shot the German a lethal glare. “And I don’t have the one thing that mattered the most to me, now, do I?”

“Beca...”

The brunette shook her head. “You’re so damn full of yourself.”

The taller woman sighed, her temper steadily rising again. “I already apologized for-”

“Fuck your apology.” Beca stood up, walking toward Chloe’s bedroom. “I’m done with this conversation. Get out.”

The German stood, but made no effort to move to the door. “No.”

The smaller girl turned, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. “Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said.”

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“No.”

Beca scoffed, her mouth twisting into a wry smile. “God, you are just- you never could resist a goddamn challenge, could you?”

“This is not about challenges, Beca. I just want to-”

“Well, you know what...” Luisa watched her ex-girlfriend carefully as the brunette made her way to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards. "Here's your fucking challenge."

"What- Scheiße!" The taller woman jumped back as a mug smashed near her feet.

"What are you doing??" The blonde dodged as a plate narrowly missed her head. "Are you insane?!"

"Sure, go ahead and think that! And while you're at it, go find another girl to fuck while I'm not looking!!"

Luisa used her uninjured arm to cover her face as another piece of ceramic tableware sailed by and smashed against the wall near her, hissing as shards cut at her cheek. "This is not even your living space! These are not your plates!!"

"If you care so much, then GET! THE FUCK! OUT!!" Beca emerged from the kitchen, finding a new source of ammunition on the nearby bookshelf.

"Beca- ow! Would you just- ah!" The German winced as book after book came flying at her, smacking her in succession in the leg, shoulder, and jaw. "Beca, stop thi- Scheiße, that was a hardcover!"  She doubled over as she was struck in the side.

"Yeah, well, it serves you goddamn right!"

Luisa growled, her body stinging from all the books that had been successfully pelted at her. "Enough of this." She lunged toward the smaller girl, grabbing one wrist with her good hand, and wrestled the brunette to the ground.

"Ow! Hey! Jesus, what are you- get the fuck off me! Chloe!!"

"Stop throwing things at me!"

"Then get out of here!"

As Beca struggled against the taller woman's strength, Chloe ran out, grabbing the blonde in a attempt to haul her off of the smaller girl. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Get off of her!"

Their struggling was interrupted by a series of loud knocks at the door, and they all stopped. "Police! Open up!"

As Chloe went to the door, Beca pushed Luisa off of her, the German shooting a glare at the smaller girl.  The brunette elbowed the taller woman in the side as they scrambled to their feet.

"Um Gottes Willen, stop it!" (For God’s sake)

"You stop it!"

Chloe turned, glaring at them. "Both of you, shush!"

"Police! Open up now, or we'll have to force our way in!"

The redhead took a second to compose herself, then opened the door. "Hi officers, can I help you?"

"Ma'am, we've received a number of noise complaints. Care to tell us what's going on?"

Chloe glanced back at the other two, then pointed at Luisa. "This woman's been bothering us. She was... invited... inside to talk, and things got a little out of hand."

One of the officers glanced around the room. "I can see that." He motioned for Luisa to approach. "Ma'am, we're gonna have to ask you to leave.”

The German stood her ground. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I still have things to take care of here."

Beca laughed dryly. "Ha! Bullshit. She has no business here. Not anymore."

“Ma’am, please come with us. We don’t want to use force unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

The taller woman narrowed her eyes. “Then use force. I’m going anywhere otherwise.”

Beca groaned. “God, can you, like, not be stubborn for once in your life??”

The blonde’s jaw clenched. “I don’t need you telling me what to do.”

“Well, I don’t need you ruining my life!”

Luisa turned to Beca. “Verdammt, I’m trying to fix it!” Rage fueled her as she roughly grabbed the girl’s shoulder. “What do you not underst-”

“Hey! That’s enough!” One of the officers pulled the German away. “You’re coming with us. Now.”

Luisa allowed herself to be led away to the police car waiting outside, casting a final glance at the angry brunette. The blonde’s face softened into regret as she saw traces of pain and sadness in the smaller girl’s eyes, and she sighed heavily, stepping into the car without another word.

Chapter Text

Chloe stood next to Beca, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and hugging her close as they watched the police car pull away and drive off. The brunette shook her head and closed the door, biting her lip in concern as she looked around.

“Hey, um... sorry about...” She gestured to all of the thrown items that were now littering the floor. “All that...”

Chloe shrugged. “Well, you got to let it out, so that’s good. Do you feel better?”

“Actually... I kinda do.” Beca looked at her friend. “You know what?”

“What?”

“I think I’m ready to move on.” The smaller girl looked around at everything on the floor. “This was... really cathartic.”

The redhead’s face broke out into a grin. “Awesome. Phase one of Operation: Heart Healing is complete! Now, on to phase two!”

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“We’re gonna get you a new girlfriend!”

Beca scratched her head in contemplation. “I dunno... Maybe I’m not... quite ready for that yet...”

Her friend nodded in understanding. “Well, just find something to keep yourself busy, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Chloe checked the time on her phone. “Oh! I’ve gotta go to work.” She hesitated, looking at Beca. “Will you be okay?”

“I- yeah. I’ll be okay.” She pointed at the floor. “I’ll just...”

The older girl shook her head. “No, no. Don’t worry about it. We’ll clean up when I get home. You should go out. Get some fresh air.”

“Are you sure?”

Chloe grinned, ushering the brunette toward the door. “Positive! Go!”

Beca chuckled. “Okay, okay, I’m going!” She grabbed her laptop bag, and headed for the door. “Hey, Chlo...”

The redhead joined her at the door. “Yeah?”

Her eyebrows raised as the smaller girl pulled her into a hug. “Thanks.”

She smiled, returning the brunette’s embrace. “Anytime, Becs.” She teasingly pinched the other girl’s cheek. “Now, get outta here, you little troublemaker!”

Beca rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help smiling. “Fine, fine, I’m out.” She mock saluted her friend as the redhead went to her car and left for work. The girl glanced at her laptop bag and nodded to herself, deciding to go to her personal sanctuary: the music store.

~~~~~

Luisa wasn’t sure how long she’d been in the small, cold jail cell after her arrest, but she had fallen asleep at some point, and had lost all feeling in her legs. The blonde stretched her legs out in front of her, trying to wiggle some feeling back in to them.

She winced as she moved her injured hand, certain that she had accidentally pulled her stitches. “Verdammt...”

“Müller.”

The woman looked up at the sound of her last name, finding an officer on the other side of the cell door. “You made bail. Come on.”

The German’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You must be mistaken...”

The guard shrugged. “Someone bailed you out. I’d take up that offer if I were you.”

Luisa stood, slowly walking out of the cell. “But... who would-”

“Gott sei Dank, she’s okay.” (Thank God)

The blonde’s ears perked up at the familiar voice as she found Pieter waiting for her, his face full of concern. She blinked in disbelief, slowly approaching him. “Pieter...? What are you doing here?”

“Is that not clear?”

Luisa shook her head. “Yes, but I... I thought I would be the last person you would want to see.”

The man thanked the officers, escorting his friend out of the building. As they got into his car, he sighed. “Luisa... I still care about you. You are my best friend and nothing will ever change that.”

The woman continued to stare at her friend, entirely perplexed. “But I was... I am... so stubborn. Like you said, I push you away, so... why did you come back?”

Pieter laughed incredulously. “This is what I do, Luisa! Friends don’t just... leave and never come back.”

“But you didn’t answer my call-”

“I was angry. You were angry. We needed time.” The man sighed again. “You still need time.”

Luisa looked down, idly fiddling with the gauze on her arm. “I know... but I don’t know how to-”

“You need to leave.”

The blonde looked over at her friend. “What?”

“You need to take time away from here. This is your problem. Being here.”

The woman stared at Pieter, thrown off by the seriousness in his voice. “I...” She blinked, recalling everything that had occurred over the past few days. “Mein Gott... you are right...”

“Here.” Pieter handed the blonde a slip of paper, and started the car, heading for Luisa's apartment.

"This is..." The woman looked at her friend. "Pieter, I could have paid for this myself."

The man held a hand up. "Now is not the time for stubbornness. Say 'thank you' and take it." He glanced sideways at her. "Besides, you have to use it now, since you would qualify it as a gift."

The blonde muttered a response as she looked out the window. "Yes, because you know how much I hate gifts..."

"And you hate wasting them even more. It works out nicely."

The woman sighed, resisting the urge to argue, and settled for a mumbled "danke". Her friend nodded in approval, and they drove quietly the rest of the way as Luisa dozed off to the lull of the smooth road.

The blonde’s eyes fluttered open as Pieter pulled up to her apartment. The man put the car in park, and waited for her to wake up. “Do you need my help with anything?”

Luisa shook her head. “No. I can handle it. I won’t have much to do anyway.”

“Okay.”

The woman reached for the door handle, but hesitated. “Pieter...”

“Hm?”

Luisa looked at him, her eyes soft with sincerity. “Thank you.”

The man offered her a tentative smile. “Of course.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Take care of yourself.”

The blonde chuckled. “You know I’m not good at that.” She gave her friend a reassuring smile. “But I will try my best.”

Pieter nodded, and Luisa stepped out of the car, waving to him as he drove off. She winced as pain shot back through her hand, reminding her of her potentially torn stitches. “Scheiße...” 

She headed inside, glaring at her hand. “Self-surgery is most likely not recommended, but I’m making an exception for now...” With that, she went to the bathroom to set up for her procedure.

Chapter Text

Luisa had pulled out a custom prepared first aid kit that was now sitting on the sink counter. She laid the lid of the toilet down so she could sit, and gently unraveled the bandage from her arm, hissing in discomfort as she slowly peeled the gauze off her hand.

She examined her hand, carefully turning it back and forth, and tsked as she noticed her stitches had indeed split open. Luisa sighed, taking a clean towel and wetting it, and dabbed lightly at the wounds in an attempt to clean the area.

Taking the bottle of hydrogen peroxide she had, the blonde held her hand over the bathtub, grunting as the solution poured over it, stinging pain coursing through her arm. After dabbing her hand dry again, she took a deep breath.

Luisa found a clean hand towel, rolling it up the best she could, and bit down on it. The sterile needle she had prepared lay on the counter, shiny and sharp. The blonde took it, glancing between the pointed tip and her hand, and braced herself as she began to re-stitch her wounds.

After half an hour, muffled cries of pain, and part of the bathroom looking almost like a botched operation, Luisa had finished re-stitching her wounds. Her mouth twitched in discomfort as she applied some antiseptic on her hand and gingerly dabbed it dry.

As the blonde examined her handiwork, she nodded to herself. “Hm. Not bad.” She took some fresh gauze, layering it carefully on her hand, and wrapped a new bandage around her arm.

“Much better.” The German looked around the bathroom, sighing at the mess, and moved to clean everything up. As she cleared away the supplies and washed the equipment in the sink, someone knocked at the door.

Luisa looked up, leaving the bathroom, and slowly approached her door. “Who is it?”

“Pieter.”

“Oh.” The woman glanced down at her newly bandaged arm, hiding it behind her back as she opened the door. “What it is, Pieter?”

“You forgot this in the car.” The man held her sling out to her.

“Ah.” She took it, nodding in thanks.

Pieter glanced past her. “Are you sure you don’t need help?”

The blonde shook her head. “No. I will... call you tomorrow when I’m ready.”

Her friend nodded, bidding her good night as he left again. She closed the door, sighing in relief as she glanced down at her arm, and headed back to the bathroom to continue cleaning.

Once she was finished, and had deemed the bathroom acceptably clean again, the German busied herself with cleaning the rest of her living space. It was already late, but there was too much on her mind, and she occupied herself until she felt tired enough to rest.

The next morning, Luisa was walking around her apartment, checking each room and grabbing various items she needed. A suitcase was sitting on her bed, filled with clothes, and a storage trunk was at the end of her bed, filled with some more clothes and personal items.

As the blonde looked around her bedroom for anything else she might need, her gaze stopped on the still facedown picture frame next to her bed. She went to sit on the edge of her bed, slowly picking the frame up, and looked at the picture again.

The German’s thumb stroked the glass over Beca’s face, and she somberly closed her eyes. “I’m sorry...”

Luisa sighed, putting the frame back facedown again, and finished packing her things. After moving her luggage to the front door, she took her phone out, dialing Pieter’s number.

“Hallo?”

“Pieter. I’m ready.”

“I can be there in ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

The woman hung up, walking around to re-check everything before Pieter arrived, and waited in the kitchen once she finished. Her ears perked up as she heard a car outside, and watched the door expectantly.

*knock knock*

Luisa opened the door for her friend, and they exchanged quiet greetings before loading her belongings into Pieter’s car. Once they had finished, the blonde turned to Pieter.

“I’m leaving my phone here.”

Pieter nodded. “Probably for the best.”

The woman went back to her bedroom, turning her phone off, and placed it by the picture frame. Returning back to her friend, she retrieved the slip of paper he had given her. “I have my boarding pass, everything is ready...” She motioned to the door. “Let’s go.”

As they got outside, Luisa turned to lock her door, then handed Pieter her keys. The man took the keys, glancing at his friend, and nodded in understanding. The two stepped into his car, and Luisa took a final look at her apartment as they drove away.

Chapter Text

About a month had passed since Luisa’s arrest, and Beca found, as she reflected on the time, that her concern for the German had greatly diminished since then.

She had moved into her own apartment about a week later, thanking Chloe profusely for everything the redhead had done for her, and her friend returned with a solid hug and an “if you ever need anything, just let me know”.

Beca had decided to go for an early morning jog to clear her mind. She made it about a mile and a half out when she stopped to take a break on a nearby bench, panting harshly.

“God, I don’t understand how there are people who choose to do this everyday...”

A chuckle sounded nearby, catching the brunette’s attention. “You must not be a morning person.”

As Beca’s brain registered a German accent, she panicked. “What are you doing here??”

Looking up, the girl nearly fell off the bench as she was met with inquisitive, hazel green eyes and a tall, strikingly beautiful woman. “Oh, y-you’re not...” Beca rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else...”

The woman tilted her head. “My voice reminds you of someone?”

“Uh, yeah- well, no. Well... not exactly...” Beca sighed. “What I mean is... I’m pretty sure that’s a German accent, and... I dunno.” She shrugged. “Sorry. I’m weird.”

The woman’s lip quirked up into an amused smile. “You are funny. And cute.”

Beca blushed, wondering why such an impossibly gorgeous woman as herself was still talking to her. “Uh... thanks.”

A hand was extended toward her, and she took it, standing to properly greet the woman. “I am Erika. And you are correct, I am from Germany.”

“Beca. From, uh... here.”

“Beca...” The smaller girl blinked at how smoothly her name rolled off of the German’s tongue. “Lovely name.”

The smaller girl shrugged meekly. “I mean, I like it, so...” She closed her eyes, mentally slapping herself for her awkwardness, but Erika laughed, waves of her dark brown hair swaying back and forth as her shoulders bounced with each chuckle.

Beca felt like she was hypnotized, rooted to the spot as she blatantly stared in awe at the woman. “How did you get that gorgeous...?” Her eyes widened as she realized she said that out loud. “Uh, what? Who said that? I didn’t! I- uh...”

The tiny brunette shifted uncomfortably as the taller woman watched her curiously. “You are like... a rabbit. Small, cute, and... easily startled.”

Beca shrugged. “Better than a mouse.”

“What?”

The smaller girl waved off her statement. “N-nothing! So, uh... what brings you here?” She glanced at the bench. “To this... fine, little seating area?”

Erika smiled, moving to sit down. Beca hesitated, sitting on the edge of the bench a good foot or so away from the woman. “Morning exercise. Much like yourself.”

The corner of Beca’s lips lifted into a small smirk. “Let me guess. You’re one of those people who choose to do this everyday, aren’t you?”

“Would you hold it against me if I said yes?”

The smaller girl pretended to think, tapping a finger on her chin. “Hm... I dunno, I might just have to.”

Erika chuckled again, and Beca felt like she could easily listen to that sound forever. “I hope not. That would be rather unfortunate.” She looked at Beca, her eyes immediately mesmerizing the tiny brunette again, who gazed at the vibrant green that flooded into golden brown.

“Perhaps you should join me some time. I would appreciate the company.”

Beca blinked, snapping herself out of her reverie. “What? Uh, totally! I- I mean, you know, if you didn’t already have someone else in mind. Like a boyfriend, or...”

The German shook her head. “Boyfriend, no. Men are not my preference.”

“Oh.” The words suddenly registered in the smaller girl’s mind. “Oh. You’re... you’re gay. Right.”

“I hope that’s not a problem.”

Beca quickly shook her head. “No, no! Not at all! I have- I’ve been- uh... I had a girlfriend. We broke up.”

Erika tsked, shaking her head. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

The girl shrugged. “I mean, it was, like, a month ago, so I’m pretty much over it, but-” She blinked, glancing up at the taller woman. “Wait, what am I doing? We literally just met and here I am, dumping my relationship sob story on you.” She groaned. “God, I suck.”

Erika smiled. “I might not know you, Beca, but I’m almost positive that is not true.”

Beca scoffed. “Psh, you just haven’t been around me long enough.”

“Hm. Perhaps I should, then.” The woman grinned. “If you would be willing to be my running partner?”

The tiny brunette groaned. “Aw, but that’s so much... effort...”

The German smirked. “Precisely the purpose of exercise, no?”

“Yeah, if you want to exercise.”

Erika raised an eyebrow. “Is that not what you are doing?”

“Well... yeah, but, like... I’m just out here to distract myself.”

“From?”

“I dunno. Life. Or something?” Beca could feel the woman’s eyes on her, and she glanced over at the German. “What?”

“I get the feeling you are not quite over your last girlfriend.”

The smaller girl opened her mouth to protest, but couldn’t find the words. “I...” She focused on the bench, idly running her fingers over the metal grooves. “It’s just... you sort of remind me of her? But sort of don’t?”

Beca sighed as she was met with a confused but intrigued gaze. “My ex is like you in a lot of ways. German. Tall. Physically flawless.” She blushed at her accidental confession, but continued. “So, like... just in general, you remind me of her.”

“Well...” After a moment of contemplation, Erika smiled. “Perhaps I can change that.”

“Huh?”

“Do you have your phone?”

“Yeah, why?” The smaller girl searched her pockets, handing her phone over.

The German took it, quickly typing something, and handed it back to her. “My number. I would be honored for an opportunity to prove my individuality to you.”

“I...” Beca looked at the new number in her contacts, then looked back up at Erika. “Are you... asking me to ask you on a date?”

“Think of it however you want, little rabbit.” The woman stood to stretch, preparing to start running again. “But do let me know if you feel like joining me for a morning run, ja?”

The smaller girl nodded slowly, still trying to process the words coming from the German’s mouth. “S-sure thing...”

Erika smiled. “Sehr gut. I look forward to your call.”

Beca watched as the taller woman jogged off, and shook her head disbelievingly. “Did that really just happen?”

She looked back at her phone, and couldn’t help grinning at the sight of the new number that was definitely registered in her contacts. She scrolled through her contacts, finding Chloe’s number, and called to break the news.

“Hey, Becs. What’s up?”

“Chlo...”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Better than okay. I’m just...” Beca shook her head, still laughing in disbelief. “Chloe, I think I found a potential girlfriend.”

Chapter Text

“Sooo? Tell me about this new girl, Becs! Where’d you meet? Is she cute? She’s probably older than you, right? You seem to like people older than you for some reason-”

The brunette laughed at Chloe’s excitement. “Whoa, there! Slow down, Chlo. Look, I know you really wanna know, like, everything about Erika, but-”

The redhead grinned. “Ooh, Erika. Solid name. I like it.”

Beca smirked. “I swear, you’re almost more hyped about this than I am.”

“I’m happy for you, Becs! So, what’s she like??”

The brunette bit her lip, hesitating. “Uh... promise me you won’t freak out.”

Chloe tilted her head. “What do you mean? Why would I freak out?” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god, is she, like, an old lady or something?”

“What? No!”

“Does she have extra limbs?”

“No. Chloe, just-”

“Whatever it is, you know I won’t judge.” The redhead gave her friend a three-finger salute. “Scout’s honor!”

“Jeez, Chlo, it’s none of those. It’s just...” Beca sighed. “She’s German. And tall. And so, so gorgeous...”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “So, basically you’re saying she’s like Luisa...?”

“Yes. Well, no. I mean- kind of.”

“Explain.”

“That’s it. I just mean in general, she’s like Luisa.”

“So, she’s your type.”

Beca scratched her head. “I... guess? I mean, she doesn’t actually look like Luisa. Her hair’s dark. Darker than mine, probably. And her eyes are, like... this amazing hazel and green and they just kinda sparkle, and... her skin’s so fair, it’s ridiculous. Like the sun respects it too much to touch it or something.”

“Wow.” Chloe grinned. “So it sounds like you’re really into her, huh?”

“She’s pretty, at least.” The brunette shrugged. “But who knows, maybe she’s actually an ax murderer.”

The redhead laughed, playfully shoving her friend. “Be serious!”

Beca grinned. “I am serious. What if she just smooth talks girls and then-”

“Beca.” The older girl tried to keep up a stern face, but failed, breaking out into fits of giggles. “God, you’re ridiculous.”

The smaller girl chuckled. “You know you love it.”

“And Erika’s gonna love it too. I’m sure of it!”

As they settled down from their laughter, Chloe watched her friend quietly, smiling as she saw the other girl’s personality coming back to life. Her face shifted into mild concern as she thought of something. “Hey... I have a question.”

Beca looked up. “Yeah?”

“Are you sure this isn’t, like... just because she reminds you of Luisa? Like, you know they’re two separate people, right?”

The brunette nodded. “Yeah, of course.” A tiny instance of doubt sprung up in her mind, but she shook it away. “No, I totally know that, yeah.”

Chloe smiled. “Okay, good. Just making sure.”

Beca pointed at Chloe’s front door. “So... I’m gonna go make a call later and see if she’s free to...”

The older girl jumped up, excitement shining brightly in her eyes. “A date??”

The brunette shrugged teasingly. “Who knows? Maybe. Maybe not.”

Beca laughed as her friend whined in protest. “Aww, you’re no fun.”

“Seriously though, I’m gonna go now.”

The redhead sighed dramatically. “Fiiine. But let me know how it goes!”

The smaller girl nodded, heading out the front door. “Yes, ma’am.”

As Beca left Chloe’s apartment, she sat in her car, her mind going back to the other girl’s question. The brunette’s brow furrowed in concern. “What if she’s right...? Maybe this is just some weird form of closure or something...”

The girl sighed, pulling out her phone, and sent a quick text to Luisa. “I’d better not regret this...” She put her phone back in her pocket, and started her car, heading back to her apartment.

After twenty minutes and no response from the blonde, doubt was starting to worm its way back into Beca’s mind. “Come on, it’s been a month. She’s gotta be over it by now... right?”

The brunette tapped on Luisa’s name in her phone, accessing her number to call. “Maybe she’s busy...?”

“You have reached the voicemail box of (310) 376-”

Beca hung up, staring at her phone. “Huh, right to voicemail... weird...” She shrugged. “I guess this would probably be a better conversation to have in person anyway.”

There were no lights on in the German’s apartment, from what Beca could see, but that didn’t surprise her. The apartment’s layout was the most minimalist design the smaller girl had ever seen, and natural light was always utilized until the sun set.

Beca walked up to the door, her nerves suddenly on edge, but she shook the anticipation away and reached up to knock on the door. After a moment, nothing had happened. The brunette pressed her ear to the door, trying to detect any semblance of movement from inside.

She knocked again. “Luisa? Lu, it’s... it’s Beca.”

Silence.

“Luisa, come on, you’re not still mad, are you? It’s been over a month. If you still need to talk things out, that’s why I’m here.”

Still nothing.

Beca sighed, rummaging through her bag, and pulled out a set of keys. “I’m coming in, okay?”

Stepping inside, the brunette switched the lights on. “Lu?” She looked around. The apartment seemed... impossibly emptier. “Jeez, I thought you couldn’t get more minimalist...”

Beca walked to her ex-girlfriend’s bedroom, but hesitated at the door, her hand loosely gripping the doorknob. Memories of living in the apartment, sleeping with the blonde in the bed she was about to see for the first time in over a month... it was almost too much for the girl.

Heaving a sigh, the brunette shook her head and pushed her way inside. She blinked at the sheer bareness of the place, by far the emptiest room in the apartment. Nothing. No signs of her having lived there, and... no signs of Luisa either.

Beca’s gaze stopped sweeping the room as her attention was caught by a lone picture frame and- “Luisa’s phone...?”

She approached the German’s side of the bed, settling carefully on the edge of the mattress, and picked up the phone. A layer of dust had settled on it, and the brunette wiped the screen on her shirt, then pressed down on the power button. “Dead...” The girl’s lips pursed in concern. “What’s going on here...?”

Beca’s gaze shifted to the picture frame, and she picked it up. Her face fell as she saw the picture, memories of that day flooding her mind. The brunette was jolted out of her flashback as a teardrop fell and rolled slowly down the glass, and she blinked, trying to recall when she had started crying.

The girl sniffed sharply, quickly wiping her eyes, and put the frame back down. She drew in a deep breath, re-composing herself, and left the room. It officially registered in her mind that her ex-girlfriend was MIA, and for the first time in a month, Beca was worried about her.

Chapter Text

“God, this is so weird...” The brunette took her phone out once again, and dialed Pieter’s number.

“Hallo?”

“Pieter! Thank God you answered.”

“Beca? Mein Gott, It’s been so long! How are you?”

“I’m fine, absolutely fine, but... do you know where Luisa is?? I’ve been trying to get a hold of her. Her phone’s sitting here, and it’s just... dead.”

Beca raised an eyebrow as she was met with silence on the other line. “Pieter?”

“Hm? Oh. Yes. Eh... she’s gone.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean she’s gone?”

“She’s in Germany.”

“I... what?? When did this happen?”

“About a month ago.”

“A month...” The brunette ran her fingers through her hair. “Jesus...”

“It’s not you, Beca. It’s... well, it’s you a little bit, maybe. But it’s also her. You know how Luisa is. When situations get personal, she can’t handle them delicately.”

“I know. But, I mean...” She sighed. “I was an asshole too. Like... I shouldn’t have started throwing things at her. That was... uncalled for...”

A heavy sigh sounded on the other line. “So that was why she had so many bruises...”

“Yeah... um, do you know when she’ll be back? ‘Cause that’s kinda why I wanted to talk to her.”

“I don’t know. We have not spoken since she left.”

“Oh. I’m... sorry.”

Pieter chuckled lightly. “It’s not your fault. I have to go, but... focus on better things, ja?”

Beca smiled. “Right. Yeah, I will. Thanks, Pieter.”

“Of course.”

As the call ended, the girl sighed, mulling over the new information she had received. She headed out of Luisa’s apartment, locking the door, and settled down on the doorsteps to think, idly turning her phone in her hands. “Focus on better things...”

The brunette glanced down at her phone. “Better things...” She scrolled through her contacts, deciding to make a call.

“Erika Bräuer.”

“Uh, hi. It’s- it’s Beca. Beca Mitchell? You know, the... ‘little rabbit’...”

“Ah yes, Beca! So nice to hear your voice again. What can I do for you?”

Beca blushed. “Um... so, I was just wondering, like... would you wanna get coffee or something? Or maybe you don’t even drink coffee. Tea? Or we don’t even have to get drinks, I dunno. Just... whatever...” The girl’s face was steadily heating up, and she groaned internally at herself for rambling.

An amused chuckle sounded. “If I’m not mistaken, it seems you are asking me on a date.”

“I- well... only if you want it to be a date.” The brunette cringed as her responses got increasingly more awkward.

“I would like that. Would you happen to like music, by any chance?”

“Dude. Music is, like, my entire life.”

“Excellent! Do you know the store called Synchronicity?”

“That’s the one that opened recently, right? I haven’t had time to check it out, but I’ve heard good things.”

“A perfect opportunity to acquaint you with it, then. Are you free in half an hour?”

“Yep. Free as a... wild... bird... of some kind.” Beca smacked her forehead, letting out an irritated sigh.

Another chuckle. “I thought we agreed on rabbit? Well, no matter. I will see you in half an hour, little bird-rabbit. Auf Wiedersehen.”

The brunette shivered at how smooth the woman’s German sounded, even with the slight grittiness over the phone. “Aca-wiederseh-... uh, I- I mean, see ya later!” She hung up quickly, groaning into her hands. “Jesus Christ, Mitchell...”

Half an hour went by far too quickly, and Beca still hadn’t recovered from the embarrassment of her “aca” verbal blunder. As the girl sat in her car in the music store’s parking lot, she was startled by a light knock on her window.

The brunette looked up to find Erika standing at her door, and it took all the effort she could muster to keep her jaw from dropping. Beca’s eyes flicked over the German, marveling at the woman’s impeccable appearance, and she puffed out a long exhale.

“Wow... and here, I thought nobody wore tighter skinny jeans than I do...”

Beca stepped out of the car to greet her. “Hey.”

She stopped at that, not trusting what else she might say if she continued. Erika smiled warmly, and the tiny brunette leaned back against her car in an attempt to keep her legs from failing her. “Guten Abend, little bird-rabbit.”

Beca chuckled nervously. “Heh, yeah, I, uh... I think just- just rabbit’s good...”

The taller woman nodded in agreement. “I prefer rabbit to bird, anyway. Birds are not so... what is the word? Cuddling?”

The smaller girl could feel her face getting warm. “Uh... cuddly. I think ‘cuddly’ is the word you’re looking for.”

“Ah, yes. Cuddly.” Erika shrugged. “Although maybe you don’t cuddle. Your appearance seems to suggest that you may be too...” Her head tilted as she looked for the right word. “Alternative... for such activities.”

Beca sighed. “People always say alternative. Is it the piercings? I’ve been told it’s the piercings. And probably also the tattoos.”

The taller woman chuckled. “I’m not judging you, if that’s what you are worried about. I only mean that I don’t easily see you as a cuddling type of person.” She put a finger to her chin in thought. “Although, perhaps you might. Rabbits do like to burrow, after all.”

If Erika could see the tiny brunette’s face steadily flushing, she didn’t say anything, which the smaller girl was more than grateful for. “Um, so... are you ready to go?”

The German offered Beca her arm, winking at the girl. “Only if you are.”

The brunette was beyond positive that the woman could see her blushing now. “I... uh... y-yep. Totally.”

She took Erika’s arm, the taller woman pulling her slightly closer, and Beca decided to focus on not tripping or further embarrassing herself in any way. As inevitable as that was.

“Whoa...” Beca was awestruck as they stepped inside the store, which seemed to be larger than it had looked from the outside.

An eager young man behind the counter smiled at them politely. “Good evening, ladies, are you looking for anything in particular?”

Erika shook her head. “Just looking for now, thank you.”

“Alright. My name is Todd. Let me know if you need any assistance. I’d be happy to help!”

The German nodded, and led Beca farther into the store. “What sort of things do you look for when you go to music stores?”

“Um... I dunno, just... wander around mostly. Look for vinyls for my dad, check out sequencers and sound systems and stuff.”

The taller woman’s eyebrows raised in interest. “You make music?”

Beca scratched her head. “Well... kind of. I produce music. I like to make mash-ups on the side, though.” 

“Well. I have quite the treat for you, then. Come, little rabbit. We have much to discover.”

Chapter Text

Erika led the smaller girl toward the back of the shop and into a separate room. The tiny brunette glanced around the aesthetically dimmer room, waiting for her eyes to adjust.

Her eyes widened as she saw more sound and mixing equipment than she had ever seen in her life. “Oh my god... am I in heaven? Because this is just... I seriously might cry.”

The German watched Beca with an amused smile. “It’s a good thing you like it, because this sort of equipment is actually the store’s main specialty.”

The smaller girl met her companion’s eyes with complete sincerity. “Thank you, this is so cool. I... wow...” Beca shook her head. “I don’t know how to, like... make it up to you, or whatever.”

Erika smiled, gently raising a hand. “No need. I consider myself lucky enough that I had the honor of showing it all to you first.”

The tiny brunette scoffed. “Yeah, well... I consider myself lucky I even met you, ‘cause like... you’re amazing, and I’d totally hang out with you, like, all the time.”

The taller woman raised an eyebrow. “All the time?”

Beca realized what she had said, quickly attempting to clarify. “I- well, I- I just mean, like...” Was it just her, or was the German suddenly closer than before? “Uh...”

“Like what?” Erika smiled encouragingly, tucking a strand of the smaller girl’s hair behind her adorably reddening ears.

Beca wasn’t sure who moved first, but suddenly, the mere inches between them had been closed, and the tiny brunette couldn’t think about anything but the lips currently pressed against hers.

Erika kissed lightly, almost delicately, just enough that it nearly drove Beca to ask for more, and she had a gnawing suspicion that the woman knew exactly what effect she had on the smaller girl.

“Ladies, are you finding everything okay?”

Beca froze as Todd appeared with his genuine smile and eagerness to please, but Erika swiftly pulled away and smiled at the man. “Actually, I was wondering if you could tell me about some of the equipment.” She pointed to Beca. “My friend here is very interested in sound mixing. What are your best products?”

The tiny brunette breathed out a sigh of relief as Todd happily went through a detailed spiel about the equipment in the room. She glanced at the German, who was doing an incredible job at feigning interest in the man’s words, and the smaller girl mouthed “thank you” to the woman.

Todd wrapped up his show and tell, turning back to the other two. “Well, that’s about all I can say. Are you interested in buying any of them?”

Erika smiled politely at him. “Perhaps another time.” She wrapped an arm around Beca, hugging her close. “Somebody’s birthday is just around the corner, so... we’ll see.”

Todd grinned at Beca. “Well, no matter what she chooses for you, it’s all part of a fantastic selection. Happy early birthday!”

The smaller girl smiled tentatively. “Uh, thanks.” She watched as Erika thanked Todd for the help, and they walked out of the store together. “Um... you know it’s not my birthday, right?”

The German shrugged. “I figured, but it was a good diversion, no?”

The tiny brunette nodded. “Yeah, actually. That was... impressive.”

As they reached the girl’s car, Erika turned to her, a light smirk on her lips. “Speaking of diversions, I think we were in the middle of something ourselves.”

“Were we? I couldn’t think with your lips- oh. Right.” Beca swallowed thickly. “That’s-... that’s what you meant, isn’t it...?”

“It didn’t seem to bother you. If I may assume, I think you rather enjoyed it.”

“More contact would be enjoyable. Uh, well, i-if you don’t mind...” The smaller girl bit her lip, refusing to meet the woman’s eyes.

Erika chuckled, cupping Beca’s cheek. “I will take it further, only if that is what you want.”

“Y-your hand...”

“Hm?”

“It’s really... really soft...” The tiny brunette blinked, trying to recall why those words sounded vaguely familiar, but failed as the taller woman’s entrancing gaze drove away any semblance of thought. “Could we... keep going...?”

The German leaned forward, her lips barely brushing against Beca’s. “I thought you would never ask.”

The world was lost to the smaller girl as their lips met again, without any interruptions, and Beca leaned back against her car to keep herself standing. Her eyes fluttered closed as Erika’s mouth began to wander down to her neck, and she whimpered as the woman sucked gently on her skin.

The smaller girl’s eyes opened once she felt a cool breeze on her neck, realizing that the German had stopped. She willed her eyes open to find Erika watching her, the green and brown in her irises almost lost to blown, dark pupils.

Beca took a moment to re-orient herself, letting out a shaky breath. “Wow...”

“Is that enough for you, little rabbit?”

Still in a slight daze, the tiny brunette couldn’t stop herself from shaking her head. The taller woman chuckled, leaning forward again. Beca’s eyebrows raised in surprise as she received a simple kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you.”

The smaller girl’s brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”

“A wonderful evening. I very much enjoyed your company.” Erika glanced down at the girl’s neck. “Here. You might need this, unless you want people asking questions.”

The German removed the scarf around her neck, wrapping it around Beca’s and adjusting it. “There. The marks aren’t too visible at the moment, but I can assure you they will still be there tomorrow.”

Beca smiled meekly, rubbing her arm. “Heh, probably. Thanks...”

Erika nodded. “Let me know when you would like to meet again. Hopefully, it will be soon.” She smiled, taking Beca’s hand and placing a light kiss to her knuckles. “Good night.”

“N-night...” The tiny brunette watched as her companion walked away to her car, and she entered her own car, her brain still stuck on their moment of intimacy. Beca’s senses were clouded by the perfume she could smell in the woman’s scarf, and it was absolutely intoxicating.

She was shaken out of her reverie as she remembered she had to make a call, and she pulled out her phone to dial Chloe’s number. Sighing as the phone rang and then went to voicemail, Beca sent a text instead, and headed home with a giddy grin plastered on her face.

Chapter Text

“Sooo? How are things with Erika?”

“They’re... pretty damn amazing, to be honest.”

Beca glanced sideways at Chloe, who was intently watching the brunette instead of the movie she had picked. “Chlo, you’re missing your favorite scene.”

“Don’t try to distract me, Becs.”

“C’mon, you love The Lion King. I’m serious.”

The redhead turned to look at the screen, and her face fell as she witnessed her least favorite scene. The girl gasped, smacking Beca’s arm. “That wasn’t nice! Scar betraying his brother was the most traumatizing moment of my childhood!”

The smaller girl snickered, grinning in satisfaction. “Hey. You chose this movie. You’ve watched it, what, fifty million times? You knew that scene was coming sooner or later.”

Chloe glared at her friend, sinking into the couch and pouting. “Still not nice.”

Beca raised an eyebrow, then sighed. “Fine, fine. I’m sorry. Now, what do you want?”

“It’s been three weeks, Becs! I’ve heard so much about your girlfriend, so when am I gonna meet her??”

The brunette raised her hands up. “Sorry, I’ve been busy, jeez.”

Chloe looked at her pointedly. “Busy spending more time with Erika than your best friend?” She sighed dramatically. “And not even letting me meet her...”

Beca rolled her eyes. “It’s not like that, Chlo. I’ve been busy with work. I’ve only seen Erika, like... five times in the last three weeks.”

“I’m guessing that’s still enough time to determine she’s not an ax murderer, though.”

The smaller girl laughed. “Nope, definitely not an ax murderer. I got around to showing her some of my mash-ups and she’s into music too, so that’s cool.”

“Oh, sweet! What kind of music?”

Chloe’s brow furrowed in confusion as the brunette started to chuckle. “Would you believe me if I told you she’s into acapella?”

The older girl’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“I couldn’t lie about that if I tried. She ran her own team a while back.”

Chloe shook her head in amazement. “Wow...” She looked up at her friend, a sudden seriousness in her eyes. “Uh, Becs, you know... that sounds an awful lot like-”

“I know.” The brunette tapped the side of her head. “They’re two different people. Don’t worry, I still know that.”

“Good.” The redhead raised her eyebrow expectantly. “Sooo...?”

Beca sighed. “You’re not gonna let this go until you meet Erika for yourself, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Fine. How about... tomorrow night? We can all meet at the bar downtown. It’ll just be a casual thing.”

The smaller girl winced as her friend squealed. “Jesus, Chlo, you’re gonna make me deaf... are you gonna be there tomorrow or not?”

Chloe nodded vigorously. “Yes! Totes yes!!”

Beca chuckled. “Okay then, it’s settled. I’ll let Erika know. I’ve got some stuff to do, so I'll see you tomorrow.”

The older girl waved goodbye to her friend as the brunette left her apartment. Once Beca was outside, she sighed and shook her head, still chuckling at Chloe’s overexcitement. Beca took her phone out, dialing Erika’s number.

“Beca! It’s been too long.”

“Too long? You saw me three days ago.” The brunette smirked. “Don’t tell me you miss me already.”

“And if I do?”

“Then I’ve got good news for you. Well... and maybe bad news...”

“Bad news first is probably best.”

“Um... actually, it kinda wouldn’t make sense without the good news, so... good news is, you get to see me. Tomorrow night. Bad...ish... news is, I’m, uh... bringing a friend...”

“Chloe?”

“How did you know?”

Erika chuckled. “You talk about her often. I made an educated guess.”

“Yeah, well... she’s super pumped about getting to finally meet you, so... if she’s too much for you, let me know. I can totally tell her to tone it down a couple notches.”

“It certainly sounds like it should be interesting.”

“So, tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Sweet. See you then.”

“Until tomorrow, darling.”

Beca smiled as the call ended, and moved to put her phone away, but it started ringing before she could. Her eyebrow raised as Pieter's name appeared on her screen. "Hey, Pieter, what's up?"

"Hallo, Beca. Did you still want to talk to Luisa?"

"Huh?"

"A few weeks ago, you said you needed to talk to her."

The brunette blinked, trying to recall. "Uh... oh, right! Um, I guess so. Why?"

"She's coming back."

Beca's eyes widened. "What? When??"

"Her plane is flying in tonight."

"Oh. I... are you picking her up?"

"Yes."

The girl hesitated. "Pieter..."

"Hm?"

"Do you... do you think I could come with you...?"

"Beca..." There was a warning tone in the man's voice.

"It's ok, Pieter, I'll be fine."

"I know. It's Luisa that I am worried about..."

"Right..."

A long sigh sounded on the other line. "If you want to go, I won't stop you. I can pick you up, if you want me to."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'm at Chloe's place. I'll text you the address. See you soon."

After Pieter said goodbye, Beca ended the call and sat down on the steps to think. "She's... she's back... god, what am I supposed to say...?" She shook her head. "No, no. This isn't a big deal. It's been almost two months. It'll be fine."

The brunette was pulled out of her thoughts as Pieter arrived at Chloe's apartment complex, and she smiled, moving to greet the man. Pieter stepped out of the car, greeting and hugging the smaller girl.

"Good to see you, Beca. How are you?"

"Good. Great, actually."

Pieter chuckled as they stepped into his car, and he started the engine, heading to the airport. "I would imagine so. I have heard about you enjoying time with a new girlfriend."

"Heh, yeah. She's really nice."

"As a girlfriend should be. Just... tell the information slowly when you see Luisa, ja? I have not heard from her, so I don't know what state she may be in."

"Well, yeah." Beca pursed her lips. "Hey, Pieter..."

"Hm?"

"How... how was she when she left?" 

The man shook his head. "Not good. I'm hoping she will be a little more... emotionally settled after her time away."

"Yeah... uh, how's the team?"

Pieter scratched his head, chuckling a little. "Eh... they are... okay. It took some time for them to get used to Luisa not being there, but things are fine now."

"Well, you're keeping yourself occupied, so that's good."

"Indeed."

After a couple more minutes, Pieter parked in the airport parking lot, and the two headed inside. The man looked around. "Hm... I don't know what gate she will be coming from. Maybe it's best to wait at the baggage claim."

Beca nodded. "Good call."

They sat where they could watch the stairs that led from the gates to the baggage claim, and panicked thoughts began to flood back into the tiny brunette's brain. As if sensing the girl's anxiousness, Pieter patted her on the shoulder.

"It will be fine. You are strong, Beca. You will be okay."

Beca smiled. "Thanks, Pieter."

The man nodded, playfully tousling the brunette's hair, causing the girl to giggle and push his hand away. He perked up suddenly, pointing toward the stairs. "Look. She's here."

Beca's head shot up, and sure enough, she saw a familiar blonde mane among the crowd descending the stairs. She stood, taking a deep breath. “Well... here goes...”

Chapter Text

Luisa looked exhausted, and her lips were pressed in a hard line as she stared blankly ahead of her. Despite all that, Pieter couldn't help the grin that broke out on his face as he saw his best friend for the first time in almost two months, and he set off toward the stairs, calling out to her.

"Luisa!"

The woman looked up at the sound of her name, her brow furrowing in confusion. She squinted as she caught sight of her friend. "Pieter...?"

Luisa grunted as the man tackle hugged her, and she chuckled lightly, patting his back. "Good to see you."

"It's been much too long."

His friend hummed in agreement. "Indeed, it has."

Pieter stood back, his gaze shifting away for a second. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought someone with me."

The blonde's eyebrow raised. "Who?"

A small figure moving behind Pieter caught her attention, and as her gaze shifted past him, she froze. Beca stopped moving, watching the taller woman carefully for any signs of irritation or anger, but her eyes seemed to hold nothing at all.

The brunette briefly studied Luisa's face, noting just how exhausted she looked. Despite the strategic placement of concealer, the smaller girl could still make out traces of the dark circles under her eyes. The woman's cheeks had hollowed out slightly, and Beca's eyes softened in concern.

Luisa blinked, stepping forward until she was about arm's length from Beca, and slowly reached out toward the girl's face. Beca watched as the blonde's hand came closer, but made no effort to move, her eyes almost issuing a challenge to the taller woman's weary, dull ones.

Pieter gently put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. "Luisa... you should get your bags. I will bring the car."

The woman's hand stopped short of making contact with Beca's cheek, and she glanced at Pieter. She nodded, lowering her arm, and silently went to retrieve her luggage. As Beca watched the blonde walk away, some kind of instinct woke up inside her, and she suddenly found herself running.

Luisa was watching the baggage carousel intensely when a small bundle of force almost knocked the wind out of her. She stiffened as she realized said force was Beca, hugging her tightly from behind. Despite the interruption, she continued to watch the bags pass by on the conveyor belt.

The smaller girl, surprised at her own action, let go quickly and backed away from the blonde. Her heart felt heavy with concern as she looked at Luisa, realizing that she had felt the outline of the woman's ribs where she recalled feeling solid walls of muscle before.

“Um..." Beca cleared her throat. "How, uh... how are things...?” She cringed at the lame question, and frowned as she didn’t get an answer. "Luisa..." The girl walked around to her side, looking up at the blonde. "Lu, please... say something..."

The taller woman's gaze slowly broke away from the conveyor belt to meet the brunette's sad, pleading eyes. After a moment, she finally spoke, her voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Why are you here?"

"I..." Beca didn't have a solid answer for her. “I don't know...”

Luisa grunted in response, turning back to watch the conveyor belt, and Beca sighed. “Come on, you had almost two months to yourself. Didn't you get things figured-”

"Yes." The blonde turned back around, and the smaller girl was almost scared of the intensity in her tired eyes. "And do you know what that time gave me?" Luisa didn't wait for an answer. "Distance. And I think distance is best for us."

Beca blinked, trying to register the woman's words. "W-wait, can't we just... talk?"

The taller woman sighed, turning her attention to the conveyor belt again. "We are talking."

"I mean really talk. You were gone, Luisa, and I didn’t even know. For a whole month!”

Luisa found her suitcase, hauling it off of the conveyor belt. “It was not your business.”

Those words cut the brunette more than they should have, and she fell silent, knowing the woman was right. Beca followed the German to a waiting area, and she sat down, watching as the blonde idly fiddled with the zipper on her suitcase.

The smaller girl gently laid a hand over her ex-girlfriend’s, noticing the woman’s hand tense immediately. “Can we... please... just talk...?”

The blonde shrugged. “About what?”

“Anything.”

“So tell me why you are here.”

“I- I told you, I don’t kn-”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Of course it is!”

“It’s not.”

Beca sighed. “You know... I really didn’t miss the stubbornness...”

“Which is why I said distance is best.”

“Yeah? Then why are you back?”

"To gather what else I have here. To officially hand my team over to Pieter." The taller woman hesitated. "To say goodbye to you."

The brunette's brow furrowed in confusion. "Goodbye?"

"I'm moving back to Germany. Permanently."

Beca's eyes widened. "What? You- you can't do that!"

Luisa raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "I don't believe you have the power to influence my decision. And as I recall, you did want me gone. So I’m going.”

“I... that’s not what I-” Before the smaller girl could explain, the blonde was on her feet and heading for the exit. “Wait, where are you going?”

“My apartment. It’s getting late, and I need to prepare my things.”

“But... what about Pieter??”

“He will understand.”

Beca wanted to stop the woman, but she couldn’t move, the thought of Luisa leaving for good paralyzing the tiny brunette. She watched her ex-girlfriend walk out the door, hail a cab, and disappear.

The girl stared at the spot where the German had just been standing, and her head dropped into her hands as she heaved a deep sigh. “Jesus...”

“Beca?”

The brunette jerked at the sound of her name, and she looked up. “Oh. Hey, Pieter...”

The man looked around. “Where is Luisa?”

“She went home.”

“What?”

Beca shrugged. “I dunno, she just... left.”

Pieter scratched his head, sighing. “Did you say something?”

“If you’re asking if I told her about my girlfriend, no. She probably couldn’t take it if I had told her.”

The man glanced outside, a concerned frown on his face. “Well... I suppose I should bring you home, then. I will talk to Luisa about-”

Beca shook her head. “Just... leave her alone for tonight. I don’t think she’s in the mood to talk...”

Pieter nodded, and they headed back to his car. Beca thanked him as he dropped her off at her apartment, and she took a moment to make sure he had left. Instead of going inside, the brunette went to her own car, starting the engine and driving off to her ex-girlfriend’s apartment.

Chapter Text

As Beca approached the front door, she knocked solidly on the wooden surface. “Luisa, it’s Beca. Please let me in.”

Silence.

The brunette rolled her eyes. “I know you’re in there. I still have your keys. If you don’t open the door, I could totally just-”

The door opened a bit, and Luisa’s head poked out. “What do you want?”

“I told you. I just wanna talk.”

“I wanted to talk. You said no.” The taller woman shrugged. “Why should I act any different than you did?”

The door began to close, and the smaller girl pushed her weight against it. “Look, I just came to apologize for throwing things at you. I was an asshole, and I was just... I dunno, pissed off.”

The blonde scoffed. “What is the purpose of apologizing? What I did and what you did are completely different situations. Incomparable. Why does it bother you so much that I made the decision to leave? You wanted me gone, and that’s exactly what you are getting.”

“Jesus Christ, can you just-” Beca struggled to keep the door open, marveling at the remaining strength the taller woman had, despite the weight she had clearly lost. “Luisa, please.”

“There is nothing to talk about. You said so yourself.”

The brunette stumbled back as the door successfully shut. She groaned, smacking the door with her fist. “God damn it, why are you so stubborn all the time?!”

Her eyes narrowed in contempt at the door, like it was mocking her. “You know what? Fine! I’m glad you’re leaving. Then maybe I can start focusing more on my girlfriend, because she’s way nicer than you and actually deserves my attention!”

As Beca stormed away, the door suddenly opened, and Luisa stared after the girl with a perplexed look. “What?”

“You heard me. She’s better.”

“Girlfriend?” The blonde crossed her arms. “So that’s what you came for? To hurt me more with the great life you’ve been living since I left?”

The smaller girl whipped around at that, laughing incredulously. “Hurt you? No. Unlike you, I’m better than that.”

Luisa opened her mouth to speak, but Beca’s phone started ringing. The blonde sighed as Beca held up a finger. “Gimme a sec.”

The German raised an eyebrow as the brunette’s face broke out into a wide grin. “Hey, you! No, I was just... taking care of something. No, no, we’re totally still on for tomorrow. Yeah. Chloe’s super excited. Obviously.”

Before Beca could say anything else, her phone was taken out of her hand. “H-hey!”

Luisa put it to her ear, and the smaller girl watched as the blonde immediately paled. Beca made a grab for her phone, but the taller woman moved away, her brow furrowing. “God, can you just-”

The threat was left unfinished as the German suddenly hung up and shoved the phone back toward the brunette. The girl watched, bewildered, as Luisa silently walked back toward her apartment. “Lu...?” She sighed, following her ex-girlfriend. “Jesus, what’s wrong now...?”

As Beca stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind her, she was suddenly pinned against it. The brunette glanced up at Luisa. “What?”

“Where are you all meeting tomorrow?”

Beca scoffed. “That’s none of your business. And why are you suddenly so concerned?”

“Because she-” The blonde paused, pulling away from the door. She sighed. “Nevermind. Get out.”

The smaller girl furrowed her brow in confusion. “If this is about Erika-” The German’s mouth twitched ever so slightly at the name, and Beca stared at her. “Luisa... do you know her??”

The taller woman stared at the floor, speaking almost inaudibly. “Get out.”

The brunette hesitated with her hand on the doorknob, only getting further confused as tears began to silently fall from Luisa’s face. Despite trying to maintain her composure, the woman’s fist was clenched and shaking.

Beca’s hand fell to her side. “Luisa, what’s going-”

“Out!!” The blonde roared, causing the girl to jump and scramble to open to the door, casting her ex-girlfriend a final, concerned glance before leaving.

Beca flinched as the door forcefully locked behind her and muffled footsteps shuffled away from the door. She could hear angry cursing coming from inside, and she was sure Luisa was pacing around, as she tended to when she got worked up about something.

The brunette sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she walked back to her car. Her phone rang as she got inside, and she quickly answered. “Hey. Shit, I’m so sorry about that. I just- I was dealing with my ex, and-” She slumped back against her seat. “God, I’m so confused right now...”

“Is everything alright, Beca? What happened?”

“I... not really...”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Beca shook her head slowly, still trying to process Luisa’s confusing behavior. “I... I don’t know...”

A hum of concern sounded on the other line. “Perhaps you should go home, then. Take time to think, no?”

“I...” The smaller girl shook her head to herself. “No. I don’t want to think about this right now. Are you busy?”

“Not particularly. You are welcome to visit if you wish.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“Tschüss.”

Beca sat for a moment, taking a slow breath to collect herself. Her eyes flicked up to glance at Luisa’s door one last time, and she sighed, starting her car and leaving the apartment she once called home.

The drive to Erika’s apartment seemed almost surreal. Beca had found herself driving on autopilot as Luisa’s words echoed in her head, and she blinked in a slight daze as she realized she had reached her destination.

A soft knock on her window startled the brunette back to reality. She looked up to find Erika standing next to her car, a tentative smile adorning the taller woman’s face. Beca smiled back, stepping out of the car.

“Hey.”

Erika briefly studied the smaller girl. “You seem a bit... shaken.”

Beca shook her head. “Nah, I just... can we just, like, watch a movie or something?”

The German raised an eyebrow. “Was your encounter that bad?”

“What do you mean?”

The taller woman chuckled. “Beca, I’ve known you as well as I do for how long now? You don’t just ask to watch a movie.”

The brunette paused, then shrugged after a moment. “Well, now I do.”

Erika said nothing, knowing better than to question her tiny girlfriend, and instead gently ushered her toward the front door. Once inside, she kissed the smaller girl on the top of her head. “Go find a movie, darling. I’ll get the food.”

Beca nodded as the taller brunette headed to the kitchen. She walked into the living room and toward a large shelf, running her fingertips across perfectly sorted DVD cases.

After going through a few rows, a strikingly yellow case caught the brunette’s eye. Beca pulled it out, feeding the disc into the DVD player, and flopped down on the couch. Footsteps alerted her to Erika’s return and the smaller girl looked inquisitively at the food boxes in the German’s hands.

“You already had food?”

“I ordered it after you told me you would be here. Is Thai alright?”

Beca nodded, then cracked a small grin. “You just think of everything, don’t you?”

The taller woman smirked. “Who would if I didn’t?” She laughed as the tiny brunette’s face fell into a pout. “Oh, you know it’s only a joke.”

Beca rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She patted the space on the couch next to her. “Sit down, you jerk.”

Erika glanced at the TV curiously as she sat next to the smaller girl and handed her a box of food. “Kill Bill?”

“Yep.”

“Of all the movies I own, you chose the one with significant amounts of mindless violence?”

“Yep.”

Beca started the movie and they sat quietly for a while, both occasionally taking bites of their food until Erika spoke again. “You realize that if we watch Volume One, we must watch the second one as well?”

The tiny brunette nodded, her eyes focused intensely on the screen. “That’s the plan.”

“That’s four consecutive hours.”

“Yep.”

Erika raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s quite late already.”

Beca tore her gaze away from the screen to look at her girlfriend, and the taller brunette could see the silent plea in the girl’s eyes. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

The German held her gaze for a moment, then nodded, settling comfortably against the couch. She watched as Beca turned her attention back to the movie, then tended to her food, deciding to spare the girl of any inquiry for the night.

Chapter Text

“Pieter! Open the door!"

Pieter jolted awake to the sound of his name accompanied by loud, insistent knocking at his front door. The man groaned in protest, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into his pillow, hoping the noise would stop.

It did after a moment, and Pieter drifted off to sleep again until–

*BANG*

“Pieter!”

Before the man had time to react, he was being rolled onto his back and grabbed by the front of his shirt. Pieter forced his eyes open to see Luisa glaring intensely at him, and he sighed. “Luisa... what are you doing here?”

“She is here, Pieter.”

The man glanced at his friend, and then at the bedroom door. “I hope you used the key to get inside.”

“Pieter.”

He squinted blearily at the door. “Did you break it?”

Luisa groaned, shaking her friend a little. “Pieter, focus! This is important!”

Pieter gently unclenched the blonde’s fist from his shirt. “Then explain. I still don’t know what you are trying to tell me.”

“Beca has a... a girlfriend.”

“I know.”

Luisa narrowed her eyes at her friend. “What?”

“I had already heard.”

Pieter grunted as the woman grabbed his shirt and shook him again. “Then you know she has returned! Did you see her? They are... together now...”

“See who, Luisa??” He shook his head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Liar! Beca is with Erika now and you said nothing to-”

The man’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Erika?” As realization struck, he looked up at his friend. “No... you don’t mean...?”

The blonde’s face fell and she let go of Pieter’s shirt. “You really don’t know?”

Pieter raised his hands up cautiously. “I only knew about a girlfriend. I did not know her name.”

Luisa sighed, rubbing her face. “Scheiße. They are all meeting tomorrow.”

“At the bar downtown.”

The woman looked over at her friend. “How did you-?”

“Chloe seemed very excited about it.”

Luisa grunted. “Hm. Of course.” She stood. “Get some rest. We are going tomorrow.”

Pieter tilted his head, watching the blonde suspiciously. “Luisa... we can not interfere with-”

“We won’t.” Luisa moved to the door. “But I need to see this for myself.”

“Luisa...” Pieter called out weakly after his friend, but she was already gone. As he heard his front door shut, the man sighed heavily and flopped back down onto his bed. “Nothing can stop her now...” He muttered to himself as sleep overtook him once again.

~~~~~

Beca woke up slowly and pleasantly in a warm embrace. Erika smiled as she felt the tiny brunette stir in her arms, and stroked the girl’s hair gently. “Hello, my little rabbit. It seems you slept well.”

Beca grinned, stretching. “Yeah, well... how could I not? You’re a really good pillow.”

The taller woman chuckled. “I’m sure.” She tousled Beca’s hair before getting out of bed, and glanced at the bedside clock. “We slept quite late into the afternoon.”

“Watching Tarantino movies in the early hours of the morning does that to people.”

“We should get ready to meet with your friend.”

The smaller girl nodded. “I’ll text her to make sure we’re still doing this today.”

Erika flashed a smirk as she headed toward the bathroom. “Oh, I have no doubt she’ll say yes. Her excitement is... quite unlike anything I’ve ever heard of.”

“Heh, yeah. Chloe’s super hyped about meeting you.”

The German’s laugh echoed from the bathroom. “As you’ve said. Well, I’m sure this evening will be enjoyable.”

Beca rubbed the back of her neck, mumbling to herself. “I hope so.”

As the two women finished cleaning up, Erika watched as her girlfriend sat near the door to put her boots on. “Beca...”

“Yeah?”

The taller woman hesitated. “I don’t suppose you want to talk about yesterday.”

Beca shrugged. “Not really.”

Erika crossed her arms. “You know, it’s not healthy to let negative emotions fester within you.” A light smirk played at her lips. “Especially not for someone as small as you.”

“Hey! Okay...” The tiny brunette huffed. “One, my size doesn’t affect my emotional input or output and you know that. And two, they are not festering.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Let’s just... agree to disagree? ‘Cause I really don’t feel like talking about it right now.”

The German held her hands up in surrender. “Very well.” She motioned for Beca to go out the door, but not before gently grasping the girl’s arm. “But when you do want to talk, I’m here.”

“I know.”

“Good.” Erika smiled. “Now, we don’t want to keep your already excited friend waiting.”

The drive over was quiet. Beca had taken to drowning out the world with her headphones and a new song mix she had been working on, while Erika drove, occasionally glancing over at the smaller girl.

The German smiled as she watched Beca completely immerse herself in the music, the girl’s eyes closed and her fingers tapping along with the beat. The tiny brunette’s eyes opened immediately as a hand took hers and intertwined their fingers.

Beca looked at her girlfriend curiously, pausing her music. “What?”

“It’s beautiful, you know. To see you completely in your element like that.”

Erika laughed as the smaller girl turned her face toward the car window to hide her blush. “I just... I get really into my music, okay?”

The taller brunette squeezed her hand gently in reassurance. “It’s very endearing. I admire your passion.”

Beca shrugged. “Well, you wanna love what you do, right?”

“Absolutely.” The German smirked, leaning to whisper in the girl’s ear. “Which is why I love you.”

Hearty laughter broke the prior silence as Beca sunk into her seat, her hands covering her reddening face. “I can’t believe I walked right into that...”

Erika was still recovering from her laughter as she pulled the car to a stop. She grinned at the tiny brunette. “Save your embarrassment for later, darling. We’re here.”

Beca sighed. “I have a feeling you and Chloe are gonna get along just fine...”

As they got inside, Beca spotted a mane of red hair almost immediately. Chloe grinned, waving them over, and stood up to greet them. “Becs!” She pulled the smaller girl into a crushing hug.

“Too tight, Chole!” Beca took a breath. “Jesus, you’re gonna kill me one day.” Her eyes widened in realization. “Oh, right!” She took Erika’s hand, bringing the taller woman to stand next to her. “This is Erika. Erika, Chloe.”

Chloe held her hand out, expecting a cordial handshake, but the German leaned in to kiss her cheeks instead. “It’s a pleasure, Chloe.”

The redhead giggled. “Oh, what a charmer. No wonder Beca never shuts up about you.”

“Hey!” The tiny brunette glared at her friend.

Chloe shrugged. “It’s true.”

Erika chuckled. “I wouldn’t put that above her. But to be fair, she speaks of you quite frequently as well.”

Chloe gestured for them to sit down as she raised an eyebrow in question. “Oh?”

The taller woman smiled gently. “Nothing incriminating, I assure you. Just the history of your friendship. I understand you are responsible for discovering her singing potential.”

The redhead grinned triumphantly. “Yep! It took a lot of convincing, but I don’t back down when I see talent, you know?” She shrugged. “That, and... our acapella team really needed help.”

Beca laughed. “Yeah, you did. I got us all the way to the World Championship.”

“We did, Becs.” Chloe smirked at her friend. “Don’t get too cocky now.”

“Right, right. We did.”

Erika smiled. “Ah, the World Championship. I remember leading my team to victory several times.” She put a finger to her lips in thought. “If I recall correctly, they competed in the same year that your team did.”

Chloe tilted her head in confusion. “Wait... that would mean...” She gasped. “You used to lead Das Sound Machine??”

“So you did compete against them?”

The redhead glanced over at Beca, who had fallen silent. “Um... yeah. They’re really good.”

The German hummed in agreement. “DSM is exactly what their name reflects. A machine. It’s been a while, but I’m sure the team is still run by-”

“Luisa.”

Erika and Chloe both looked in surprise as Beca uttered the name. “Yes. How did you...? Wait...” The woman paused, recalling everything that Beca had divulged about herself since they had met. She glanced at her girlfriend, who had visibly paled. “Beca...”

“Erika Bräuer!”

The German blinked as her name was called by a familiar, similarly accented voice. She turned and stood, surprise striking her once again as she came face to face with the current leader of DSM. “Luisa Müller.”

Their eyes met, wary blue watching intrigued hazel green, until Erika spoke again. “It’s been too long.”

Chapter Text

Luisa’s gaze shifted from Erika to Beca, who was staring down at the table, then back to Erika. “What are you doing here?”

Erika raised an eyebrow, then gestured at Beca and Chloe. “I was just having a pleasant conversation with my girlfriend and her friend. You are welcome to join if you wish.” She glanced back at the rest of her party. “Given that it’s alright with them.”

The blonde shook her head. “No.”

“No?”

Luisa narrowed her eyes. “You know what I mean.” She asked again, carefully. “What are you doing here?”

Erika tilted her head, watching the blonde curiously. “I don’t think I do.”

Luisa’s jaw twitched, a clear sign that she was losing her patience. She glared at the brunette in front of her, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “You left Germany. You left DSM.”

Erika smiled gently, placing a hand on Luisa’s shoulder. “I left DSM in good hands.”

The blonde flinched at the contact and caught the other woman’s wrist. Time seemed to freeze between the two, and even Beca, who had been actively avoiding watching the confrontation, glanced up as she felt the undeniable tension Luisa was creating.

Erika’s gaze flicked down to Luisa’s tight grip on her wrist, unfazed by the rising tension and the people who had stopped to see what was going on. Her eyes met the blonde’s again, and she spoke softly. “Luisa...”

The woman in question tightened her grip at the sound of her name rolling off of the brunette’s lips, uttering a response almost inaudibly. “You left me...”

“Wait, what?” The two woman turned to look at Beca, who had stood, staring at the pair. Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Erika, what’s she talking about?”

Luisa let go of the woman’s wrist, crossing her arms and looking away. Erika sighed, looking at Beca apologetically. “I meant to tell you earlier.”

Luisa whipped around, staring at the brunette incredulously. “You never told her?? Um Gottes willen, Erika! This is so...” The blonde groaned in frustration. “This is a mess.” (For God’s sake, Erika!)

Erika nodded, pursing her lips in concern. “I agree.”

Luisa jabbed a finger accusingly against the brunette’s chest. “Then I suggest you enlighten Beca. Let her know of our history and why you did what you did.”

“You sound bitter.”

“I am bitter.”

Erika sighed. “It’s been years, Luisa.”

The blonde gestured at her ex-girlfriend. “And now you have Beca!” Her anger deflated momentarily as she spoke emptily. “And I have nothing.”

“Luisa...” The sadness in the brunette’s voice surprised the other woman, but she refused to let it show. “Do you truly see that as my fault...?”

Luisa swallowed hesitantly, avoiding eye contact. Erika sighed. “Luisa, I understand that you have been hurt, but hurting others is not the way to solve your problems.”

The blonde’s head shot up, fire returning to her eyes. “My problems? My problems??”

Erika winced slightly at the other woman’s steadily raising voice. “Luisa-”

“No!” Luisa waved an arm frantically around the area. “This is clearly a joint problem now, so we should-” The blonde was cut off, grunting as Beca suddenly pushed her way between the two women and rushed out of the building, followed closely by a worried Chloe.

Both Germans stared after them for a moment, then Luisa glared at Erika. “Look at what you did now.”

The brunette shook her head, tsking. “Did you not just say that this was a joint problem?”

“Do not manipulate my words.” Luisa growled in warning, her hand clenching into a fist.

Erika took notice, and issued a calm warning. “Not here.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

The brunette raised her hands carefully. “I’m only saying that this is not good for-”

“You have no right to dictate what is or is not good in my life!” Luisa roared in frustration, throwing her previously clenched fist toward the other woman. In what seemed like a split second, the blonde found herself in a chokehold.

She struggled, digging her nails into Erika’s arm, but the woman’s hold was surprisingly solid. “L-let... urgh... go of... me...”

“You were going to do something reckless. I had to stop you somehow.” Sadness returned to the brunette’s voice. “Please, Luisa... you must calm down.”

“Luisa!”

Erika looked up to see Pieter rushing toward them, concern in his eyes. She let go of the blonde, who gratefully took the opportunity to regulate her breathing. The brunette tilted her head curiously. “Pieter Krämer. I was wondering if you were here as well.”

The man nodded in greeting. “Erika.” He sighed. “I’m sorry we had to meet under such... unfortunate circumstances.”

“Halt die Klappe, Pieter.” Luisa hissed, punching her friend’s arm. “And you.” She pointed at Erika. “Don’t do that again.” (Shut up, Pieter)

“Safety measures.”

“Verpiss dich!” Luisa lunged toward the other woman, but Pieter grabbed her, holding her back. (Fuck off!)

“Luisa, I understand that you are angry, but-”

“Angry?” The blonde stopped struggling against Pieter, narrowing her eyes at the brunette. “You don’t know what I am.” With that, she tore herself out of her friend’s grasp and stormed out of the bar.

Pieter exhaled a long puff of air, scratching his head. He looked at Erika apologetically, and pointed toward the door. “I should...”

The brunette nodded. “Go.”

The man hesitated momentarily. “Will you be alright...?”

Erika smiled gently and nodded, but Pieter could see traces of hurt in her eyes. “Go on. Help her. For everyone’s sake.”

Pieter cast a final, sympathetic glance at the woman before leaving to join his friend. Erika sighed heavily, returning to her seat. She looked at the booth across from her, where Beca had been sitting mere moments ago, and quietly uttered an apology to the empty space.

An hour passed before Erika deemed it safe enough to leave the premises, and she drove home, her head heavy with the events that had occurred. As she reached her apartment, she sighed, ready to just go to bed and leave the problems of the day behind.

Walking inside, the brunette was nearly blinded by the lights suddenly turning on, and she blinked to adjust. “What's happening?” As the woman’s vision cleared, she noticed a small figure settled on her couch. “Beca...?”

The girl in question crossed her arms, staring at the taller woman with a mix of anger, sadness, and uncertainty in her eyes. “Explain.”

“Beca, I don’t think-”

The tiny brunette cut her off with a raised hand. “Explain. Now.”

Chapter Text

Erika sighed, joining the girl on the couch. “Beca, you know I’ll tell you, but-”

“Will you?” Beca crossed her arms again as she tilted her head suspiciously at the woman’s words. “Because I heard nothing about this since we started dating.”

“I didn’t know you dated Luisa when we first started dating.”

The smaller girl huffed. “You know what I mean. Throughout our entire relationship. Nothing.”

“Beca, you were... not in a good state when we met. You were, and still are very bitter about Luisa’s actions. I felt it would make things worse if I brought it up then, but I could never find a good time to bring it up. Your anger... it never subsided.”

Beca scoffed. “My anger? What about hers? She hasn’t stopped either.”

“Luisa is... difficult. She-”

“So what, are you defending her now?” The tiny brunette’s look was scrutinizing. “"Do you still love her?"

"I still care about her. I love you." Erika studied the girl's face. "Are you happy? With this?"

"I... I don't even know. I was happy. Back before all this shit happened..." Beca's eyes widened. "Wait, no. I didn't mean- I mean, you’re amazing, I just-"

The taller woman placed a hand on her arm, smiling gently. "I know what you meant."

Beca sighed heavily, dropping her head into her hands. "God, this is just... so messed up..."

"Beca..." Erika stroked the girl's arm soothingly. "Beca, look at me, darling."

The tiny brunette slowly looked up, her eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall. She sniffed, wiping an arm across her face. "What?"

"Whatever you think of Luisa..." Erika paused, choosing her words carefully. "She's not a bad person."

Beca snorted in disbelief. "Then what is she?"

"She's very... passionate. It may not seem that way, but it's true. She will go to the ends of the earth for whomever she loves. Even if it causes unintended consequences."

The smaller girl rolled her eyes, muttering. "Hmph. Unintended consequences..." 

"I know you're still angry about what she did, and I don't expect you to forgive her, but you miss her, Beca. I can see it in your eyes."

Beca looked away, glaring at the floor. "No, I don't."

"Beca."

"I don't."

"That's the anger talking, and you know it. You can't be angry forever. It only hurts you."

The tiny brunette's expression softened, and she sighed again. "I know... but how can I even think about talking to her? What would I even say? God, I'm just... so mad about it." She paused. "So... hurt..."

Erika nodded. "And she knows that. You know she knows that."

"Yeah, but-"

"Think about what has happened over the past number of months. How badly Luisa has acted out. She does that because she doesn't know how to face her emotions properly. Talking about her feelings has...” The taller woman chuckled gently, shaking her head. “Always been a weak point for her.”

Beca thought back to everything that had transpired with her ex-girlfriend, and her lips pursed in concern. “Right.” She looked up at Erika, apology in her eyes. “You’re right. God, the lashing out, and then the distance thing... it all makes sense now.”

The taller woman smiled. “I’m glad you’re understanding. Now... I suppose it’s time I told you of our history, ja?”

Beca nodded, taking a breath and rubbing her hands together. “Ok. Hit me.”

"So, let me begin with DSM."

"What about them?"

"Well, you know I was in charge of them before."

"Yeah."

"Their sound. It wasn't always like that. I was the first to create a... formula, so to speak, for how they sound now.”

Beca's eyes widened in fascination. "Whoa. Really? That was all you?" She raised an eyebrow. "Do I wanna know they sounded before you changed it all?"

Erika chuckled. "It's not that we sounded bad before I changed it. I just felt we needed something new. A particular edge over the competition."

"Makes sense. But... what does Luisa have to do with that?"

"She took a lot of interest in my creative direction, more than anyone else on our team did at the time, so I took her on as my protégé." 

Understanding began to dawn on the smaller girl's face. "Probably spent a lot of time with you, huh?"

"Quite some time, yes."

"I take it not all of that time was spent working on music."

"Mm."

"So... she fell in love with you?"

Erika shrugged. "I think at first, she fell in love with the musical style I created. Many people did once they realized how much of a breakthrough it was. But she was different. Dedicated. Over time, it did become more than just the music. We found so much in common, and we could talk for hours."

"So, what happened? Why is Luisa so mad at you?"

"Luisa had learned everything I could possibly teach her about our team's new music style. She was already starting to make her own changes, intricate details I never could have imagined, and it heightened our sound in fantastic ways. That only indicated to me that she was more than ready to take my place as the leader of DSM."

"I'm guessing she had a problem with that?"

Erika nodded. "She had become too attached to me, and refused the position."

Beca raised her eyebrows, intrigued by the woman’s words. "What? No way. That doesn't sound like her at all."

The taller brunette chuckled. "You must understand, Beca, this was a different time. We were young. She was naive and... romantically hopeful."

"And you?"

"I was determined. Ambitious. I felt I was already at the top in the world of acapella, and I wanted to push myself even farther past that."

Beca nodded in understanding. "You felt like Luisa was holding you back from that."

Erika frowned, picking at the edge of the couch. "Being the people we were back then, there wasn't much understanding on either end. We fought about it for days. It was interfering with the team's performance, so... I decided the best way to get things back in order was to force Luisa to become the new leader."

Beca tilted her head in confusion. "What? How did you do that?"

"I announced my resignation and left. I left DSM, left Luisa, and... left Germany altogether."

The tiny brunette's eyes widened. "Whoa... that's heavy."

The German grimaced. "Yes. Looking back, I'm not at all proud of it."

"But... why didn't she just follow you? I mean, you said she was dedicated, right?"

"She was dedicated to me, but also to the music. Ultimately, she had to choose between the two. I think at the time, she was too hurt and angry to bother following me. She channeled those emotions into building up DSM even more. Perhaps she was trying to prove something."

"Or maybe she was just trying to do something she thought would make you proud. You know, like, if you ever came back or something."

Erika hummed in thought. "Maybe."

Beca sighed, sinking back against the couch. "I guess that's why she always led DSM with ruthless perfection."

The taller woman raised an eyebrow. "Ruthless perfection?"

"Well, I don't know what else to call it."

Erika let out a dry chuckle. "No, that's quite accurate."

The two sat in silence for a moment. Beca took the time to study her girlfriend's face. The woman's eyes were distant, her features laced with years of guilt and regret suddenly resurfacing as she had to recount the painful memory. The smaller girl took her hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry...”

“What for?”

“For making you remember all that.”

Erika shook her head. “I never forgot. I’ve lived with the pain I caused every day since I left.” She looked at Beca, holding the girl’s hand in both of hers. “Don’t let Luisa make the same mistake. She isn’t in the right state of mind to realize it herself, so you need to help her.”

Beca threw her arms up in exasperation. "But what do I say to her?” She stood, pacing anxiously, running a hand through her hair. “I mean... ugh. How do I even know she'd listen?"

"You don't. But I know Luisa. You know her. It may take a while, but she learns. She wants to reach out, I can tell. And so do you. So do it."

"I know, but- it’s- I don’t-" The smaller girl huffed in annoyance, her words jumbled by overwhelming thoughts, prompting the German to take her hand again.

"Beca.” The taller woman coaxed her to sit back down, gently kissing the girl’s hand. “You and Luisa need to heal. This is an important step toward that."

Beca looked pointedly at the German. "I could say the same to you."

"I know."

"You solve your problem, I'll solve mine?"

Erika laughed. "This isn't a negotiation, you know."

The tiny brunette sighed, lying on her side to rest her head against her girlfriend's lap. "Yeah, I know. I'll talk to her. Or... try to, anyway."

The taller woman smiled, stroking the girl's hair. "Good."

A loud buzz startled them, and Beca sat up, moving to check her phone. "It's a text. From Luisa...?"

Beca, I'm sorry about my behavior earlier. If you would be willing, I want to talk to you. Maybe tomorrow over coffee? Let me know.  - Luisa

The smaller girl blinked, registering the message. "She wants to talk. Huh. That's a first."

"I told you, she does learn from her mistakes."

Beca stared at the text, lost in thought as the screen shut itself off. "Yeah... I guess I'll see about that tomorrow."

Chapter Text

Another coffee shop. Beca shook her head at the irony. At least it’s near enough that I could walk here. She headed inside, scanning the room for Luisa. The woman in question was at a table in the corner, nursing a cup of coffee with a distressed look on her face.

The brunette approached her, but she seemed too upset to notice. Another cup of coffee was sitting across from hers, assumedly for Beca herself. The girl took a breath, mentally preparing, and spoke. "Luisa."

The blonde looked up, her eyes widening in surprise. "Beca. You came..."

"I said I would."

"I know. But..." Luisa rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "I was... not expecting you would actually show up."

"Luisa, I-"

"It's just-"

They spoke simultaneously, and Luisa quieted, gesturing for the smaller girl to sit and speak first. Beca nodded in thanks, taking a seat across from the taller woman, who wasn't looking at her.

The brunette sighed lightly, staring in mild contempt at the coffee set out for her. "You know... the last time we tried to get coffee, it didn't exactly go well."

Luisa stuttered, recalling the origin of their current predicament. "I-... r-right, of course. No, you don't have to have- I just thought maybe-... eh..." She gave up trying to speak, staring at her hands instead.

Beca tilted her head, furrowing her brow in concern at the German's odd behavior. "Are you okay...? I mean, I know you're not okay, but you're acting kinda weird."

"I'm..." The taller woman looked at her, but her gaze was still distant. "No..."

Beca glanced around, shifting awkwardly in her seat. "Um... do you wanna take, like, a walk or something?"

Something akin to relief washed over the blonde's features and she nodded, moving to stand and throw her empty coffee cup away. She returned to the smaller girl holding some money out to her. Luisa tilted her head in confusion. "What is that for?"

"For the coffee."

"Oh." The taller woman shook her head. "No, it's alri-"

"Please." Beca stretched her hand out toward the woman. "I... don't really want the coffee, so I might as well reimburse you for it. Um... you can drink it though. If- if you want to."

Luisa took the money, glancing uncertainly at the coffee, but took it after a moment of deliberation. She followed the smaller girl outside, and they began to walk nowhere in particular, a thick silence between them.

Beca glanced over at the blonde, her lips pursing in concern at the woman's shaking hands. "Luisa, what's wrong? I've never seen you like this. Did something happen?" She looked the taller woman over. "Are you hurt??"

The brunette jumped back as the cup suddenly fell out of the German's hands, coffee spilling onto the sidewalk. "Luisa! Seriously, what the hell is going on with you??"

"I... can't..."

"What? You can't what??"

The taller woman sank to her knees, watching the coffee trickle down into the pavement cracks and off of the curb. “I was fine… I had everything. And now it’s gone. I… am nothing…” She looked up at Beca, desperation shining clear in her eyes as she took the girl’s hands pleadingly. “Please… help me…”

Beca sighed, watching the coffee drain off of the sidewalk. “Look...” She glanced around, finding a bench a few feet away. “Here, let’s sit down, okay? Who knows what crap is on this sidewalk...”

Luisa nodded, slowly plodding after the smaller girl, and slumped down on the bench next to her. A moment of silence passed before Beca spoke up again. “I can’t.”

“What?”

“We… we can’t fix this, Lu. I’m sorry.”

“But-“

“Do you know how hard it was…? Seeing you… and someone else... how many nights I spent just crying like an idiot? How long it took me to get over you?”

Luisa looked away in guilt as Beca’s voice began to strain from the memory, but the brunette grabbed her arm. “Look at me. Luisa, you have to face this. Things can’t be like they used to. It’s too late for that. But...”

The German’s eyes widened as the girl’s hand slid into hers, grasping it gently. “We can still talk... and hang out and stuff.”

“I...”

Beca’s gaze hardened. “I can’t forget what you did.” She sighed softly. “But with time... I could forgive it.”

Luisa glanced at their joint hands. “I don’t think you would want to be around me. After... everything...” Her brow furrowed in confusion as Beca scoffed and shook her head. “What?”

“Of course I wanna be around you.” The smaller girl sighed, running her unoccupied hand through her hair. “It’s just... really hard to, sometimes. You’re, like... a super complicated person and I’m not always up for dealing with that...”

The blonde nodded, heaving a sigh of her own. “I know...”

“You can’t get everything back, but you don’t have to lose everything either.” Beca turned the woman’s hand in hers, studying its natural creases and the veins highlighted against her pale skin. “I miss you. I miss us just... talking about whatever, you know?”

“I miss that too. I’m sorry...”

“I know.”

They sat in now comfortable silence, and Beca felt like she could almost bring herself back to a time before everything had gone to hell. She closed her eyes, reveling in the too familiar sensation of Luisa’s thumb stroking the back of her hand, and-

“Beca?” The brunette’s eyes opened to find Luisa casting a worried glance at her. “You are... crying.”

“What?” The smaller girl touched her face, gasping slightly as she had indeed wiped a tear away. “Oh. I... sorry, I was just- sorry...” She shook her head, blinking to clear away her slightly blurred vision.

“I don’t know if you would want to... talk about what happened? For closure, perhaps?”

“No. This is good enough.”

“Are you-“ The look Beca gave the taller woman spoke for her, and Luisa nodded in understanding. “Okay.”

“Thanks, though. I know you’re trying.” The brunette offered a reassuring smile. “I appreciate it.”

Before the German could respond, Beca’s phone started buzzing. The smaller girl cursed under her breath as she checked it. “Damn, I’ve got work soon. I have to go back to my place to grab my stuff.”

“You probably walked here, no?” Luisa gestured back in the direction of the coffee shop. “I could drive you, if you want.”

“Would you? That’d save me some time, at least.”

They headed back to the coffee shop, stepping into Luisa’s car and driving to Beca’s apartment. The ride was short, but helpful, and Beca thanked the taller woman, offering her an invitation to come inside. Luisa nodded in thanks, stepping over the threshold.

The blonde looked around, admiring the quaint setup. “You seem to be settled nicely here.”

The smaller girl nodded as she walked around, gathering her bag for work. “Yeah, I like it.”

A voice sounded from the bedroom. “Beca, is that you?” Erika stepped out, smiling at the girl. “Ah, you’re back. How did it go with-” She raised her eyebrows in surprise as she noticed the other woman in the room. “Luisa.”

“Erika.”

Beca glanced between them. “Um, I have to go to work now. You should talk.” She strode toward the front door, stopping as she opened it. “And don’t kill each other. Bye!”

The Germans watched her go, then Erika turned to look at the blonde. “So. How did it go?”

Chapter Text

Luisa glanced at the door that Beca had just left through, her lips curling into a tentative smile. “I think... things will be okay.”

Erika smiled, patting the other woman on the shoulder. “Good. Now...” She sighed lightly. “Onto us.” 

Luisa nodded in agreement. “Onto us.”

They moved to the couch, Luisa sitting with her knees pressed together and her hands clasped on top of them. Erika raised an eyebrow at the blonde’s stiff position, her lips quirked in amusement. “You can get more comfortable than that, you know. I don’t bite.”

Luisa smirked despite herself. “Not anymore.”

A grin broke out on the brunette’s face. “Cheeky.”

“You know me.”

“Of course I do.” Erika leaned toward the other woman, caressing her cheek gently. “Meine Löwin.”

Luisa blinked, reaching up to touch the brunette’s hand on her cheek. “It’s been a long time since I heard that name.” She sighed, leaning into Erika’s touch. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? I left. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I got in your way.” The blonde shrugged. “You lived for yourself, full of ambition. I always admired that.”

Erika gave her a wry smile. “And through all that, I was never quite... present enough for you.”

Luisa’s hand dropped to cross her arms. “I never should have expected that of you.”

“I did love you, you know.” Erika touched the other woman’s arm gently, coaxing her to uncross her arms. “And I still care about you. I absolutely do.”

“And that is what I don’t understand.”

"Luisa." Her name was spoken gently, with such genuine care that the blonde suddenly felt the need to look away from her former lover. "Aren't you tired of being hurt and angry?"

Luisa knew she wasn't just talking about them, but about Beca too. "I..." she sighed, nodding admittedly. "I've been tired for a long time."

Erika gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know.”

“But...” Luisa shook her head. “Eh... I don’t know. Nevermind.”

The brunette tilted her head in question, prompting Luisa to elaborate. The blonde sighed. “Why do you still care? Even after how much pain I’ve caused? To you, to Beca, to myself...”

“It’s been so long now, Luisa. Forgive yourself. I know it’s difficult. You’ve always been so critical about your own actions, but you should try.”

The blonde nodded slowly. “Alright.”

“You still look uncertain.”

Luisa shrugged. “You made me happy, she made me happy.” Her gaze cast down to her hands. “My happiness is all in the past.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way.” Erika rested a hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “Open yourself up to new people, and you may just find a kindred spirit.”

“Is that what Beca did?”

The atmosphere suddenly felt still. Erika glanced over at the blonde, whose gaze was focused in the distance, staring at the far wall. “Are you angry about that?” 

Luisa broke her gaze at the wall to cast her eyes to the floor instead, a mental battle clearly going on in her head. She swallowed an invisible lump in her throat, then spoke carefully. “No. I have no right to be. Not after what I did to her.”

“That doesn’t disqualify your emotions.” The brunette leaned toward the other woman and repeated. “Are you angry about it?”

Luisa growled in frustration, rubbing her temples. “What do you want me to say? Yes? That I was angry about it every day after I’d heard? That I was angry that she could just... pick up her life and move on without me? Without everything that we had been together??”

The blonde was standing now, every question and thought spiraling her back into the deep-seated resentment that had prompted her to leave everything in the first place. “Yes! I’m angry! I’m angry that I lost everything and she replaced every memory of us with... with you!”

Luisa panted out of exasperation as her gaze landed back on Erika. The brunette’s face was unreadable, her eyes studying the other woman carefully. The blonde huffed out a final shaky breath before crumbling to the floor in a fit of broken sobs. “Scheiße!”

A hand delicately landed on Luisa’s quivering back as another hand took her arm and gently led her to sit back on the couch. The trembling woman obliged, gradually willing herself to calm down. She kept her head down, knowing that Erika was still studying her. After taking a slow, steady breath, she spoke again. “Well...?”

“Well?”

“Say it.”

The brunette tilted her head curiously. “Say what?”

Luisa rested her face in her hands, letting out a defeated sigh. “Tell me I’m shit and don’t deserve anything.” 

The brunette’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Who ever said that?”

“I did.”

“Is it true?”

The question prompted the blonde to finally look up at the other woman. “What?”

“Is it true that you’re shit and you don’t deserve anything?” 

“I...” Luisa furrowed her brow in confusion, still unable to read the other woman’s face. “Yes...?”

“Has anyone ever directly told you that?”

“Well... no...”

“So it’s not true.”

“Eh...” The blonde rubbed the back of her neck. “But-” She attempted a protest, but was immediately silenced by Erika’s piercing gaze. Luisa shifted uncomfortably. “You’re very unsettling right now, you know...”

“Why do you think so?”

Luisa shook her head trying to explain. “Look at where this conversation has gone. I lost control again. And you just... sat there. Dealt with it. Like you always have.”

The brunette cracked a gentle smile. “Because I believe in you, Luisa.”

“Why?”

“You have a good heart. You lose control because you are passionate. Willing to endure for what you care about.”

The blonde looked away guiltily. “I still care about Beca. I... I still love her.”

“I know.”

Luisa’s head whipped around to stare at the other woman incredulously. “What? Why didn’t you say anything? You could just hit me and tell me to get on with my life!”

Erika chuckled lightly. “That’s what you would do.”

Luisa crossed her arms, grunting. “It’s what I would have Pieter do.”

“But what happened instead? You fled to Germany to leave your problems behind, and Pieter only enabled you to do so.”

Luisa shrugged heavily. “Pieter was angry. I was a bad friend. What else could we do?”

“Think, Luisa. Think about everything that has happened up to this point.”

The blonde shifted awkwardly again as flashbacks of the past couple of months ran through her head. “Right...”

“Beca needs you. You are still a significant part of her. I see it. She can’t let you go any more than you can her. Be strong for her.”

Luisa gave the brunette a wistful smile. “This is why I fell in love with you. You always knew what to do.”

Erika tilted her head at the blonde, noticing her smile fade as she lapsed into deep thought again. “Something still bothers you, Luisa. Tell me.”

“What happened back then... with Franziska...” The woman cringed, as if the name left a bad taste in her mouth. “Beca doesn’t want to talk about it, but...” She looked down at her hands, regret flooding back into her mind as she shook her head. “I did what I did to prove a point. It was a terrible point, and I was out of line.”

The brunette hummed solemnly, watching as Luisa fell apart again. “You were always one to prove yourself, no matter the cost.”

The blonde stared at the floor distantly. “And this time, the cost was irreparable.”

Erika shifted her gaze to the floor as well, contemplating on what to say, but the other woman spoke up again. “Do you know what she told me?” She didn’t answer, allowing Luisa to speak freely.

Luisa trembled as the words left her mouth. “She said, ‘we can’t fix this’. She told me that things could never be the same again. And she’s right. The damage I did, I can’t take that back.” The woman’s fist clenched in agony. “As much as I want to, I can’t. I hate that.”

Erika took her still clenched fist, gently unfurling it and intertwining their fingers instead. “I know you have been tormented by this for months. I know that it consumes your thoughts daily, nightly, until it eats away your sanity.” A pained look occupied her gaze. “Everyone has been hurt by it, I understand that, but what happened is past. You must accept that it’s already done and move on from it.”

The blonde exhaled shakily. “You’re right. It haunts me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. My recklessness has gone too far this time.”

Erika hushed her gently. “Shhh. Enough of that. It’s over now. Make your peace with it and let it pass.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

“Good.”

Luisa allowed the other woman to lay her down on the couch, Erika delicately stroking her fingers through her former lover’s golden tresses. The rest of the morning passed in silence, with Luisa drifting off to sleep, her head still nestled against Erika’s lap. The brunette continued to stroke her hair, eyes scanning over the other woman’s exhausted features. Fingers traced lightly against the bags under her eyes and trailed down a sharper than usual jawline.

Erika tsked quietly. “Meine Löwin...” Her hand reached the blonde’s side, rising and falling with the woman’s steady breath against her pronounced ribcage. “I hate that you keep tearing yourself apart...”

Luisa suddenly stirred, her closed eyes scrunching even tighter shut as she seemed to be disturbed by something, mumbling incoherently. The brunette hushed her again, stroking her side, and whispered words of assurance until the woman settled back into a calm slumber.

“Rest. Your troubles are over now.” Erika paused, mulling over their prior conversation. “For your own sake, you mustn’t struggle through things alone anymore. No matter how difficult it may get, Beca and I will always be here for you.” Erika leaned down, pressing a kiss to the blonde’s forehead, sealing her promise. “Always.”

Chapter Text

As soon as Beca was on her lunch break, she headed straight for her car and sped off, hoping to the forces that be that her apartment was still intact. The brunette practically tripped up the sidewalk, fumbling with her keys to open the door. “Fuck. C’mon...” She sighed. “Please, God, let them both be alive and unscathed.”

She finally got the door open, nearly falling inside from pushing so hard against it. “Hey, I’m ho-”

“Shh.”

Beca stopped, wincing as her anxious body caught up with her, blood pulsing loudly in her ears. Erika was sitting on the couch, Luisa still sleeping soundly next to her, a fleece blanket tucked carefully around her. Taking in the scene before her, the tiny brunette breathed a sigh of relief. “Good to see no one got maimed, at least.”

Erika chuckled quietly. “Did you really expect that little of us?”

Beca shrugged, “I mean… ever since you and Lu crashed back into each other’s lives…”

“Crashed is...” The taller brunette’s lips quirked up in a smile. “An excellent way to put it, yes.”

“I’m not really sure what to expect anymore. From my recent experience, the two of you in one room are a force to be reckoned with.”

Erika’s amused smile split into a wide grin at the statement. “I suppose I can’t argue with that either.”

The smaller girl shifted her gaze down to Luisa and studied the woman’s exhausted features. She sighed as a familiar weight began to sink in her chest. “She has got to stop doing this...”

“I know. We talked about that. Hopefully when she wakes up, she’ll be willing to talk to you about that as well.” Erika carefully extracted herself from under the slumbering blonde, standing to stretch her legs. “I have some errands to run, so I’ll see you after work, darling.”

“Ok.” Beca leaned into the kiss her girlfriend pressed to her temple, smiling lightly. “See you tonight.”

The taller woman returned her smile, poking her forehead teasingly. “Be nice to her when she wakes up, ja?”

The DJ chuckled, waving her off half-heartedly. “Yeah, yeah.”

Once Erika was out the door, the smaller girl sighed to herself, running a hand through her hair. After a moment, she walked to the kitchen, taking some leftovers out of the fridge to reheat. As she waited for the microwave, she glanced over at Luisa, worrying her bottom lip.

“Man, what do I even say to her when she wakes up?” The brunette’s fingers drummed anxiously on the kitchen counter, thinking about their conversation earlier that morning. Her lips pursed into a tight line as she recalled what she had told the blonde.

We can’t fix this.

“Maybe that was too harsh...” Beca shook her head, steeling herself. “Wait, no. She needed to hear that.” She huffed out a small, determined breath. “This is how we move on.”

The beeping of the microwave startled the girl from her thoughts. “Shit.” She quickly opened the door so the noise wouldn’t bother Luisa, and took her food out to let it cool, carefully shutting the door again. Stealing a quick glance over her shoulder, Beca sighed in relief that the slumbering German hadn’t been disturbed.

As she turned back around, a low groan sounded, prompting the tiny brunette to freeze in her tracks. Nevermind. The DJ mentally slapped herself, willing her anxiety away. Get it together, Mitchell. It’s gonna be fine. We’re both reasonable adults. We can talk. Right...?

She decided to focus on grabbing a plate and silverware so she could start eating. A pair of feet shuffled heavily through the doorway behind her, pausing after a few steps. “Beca?”

The German’s voice was thick with sleep. Memories of that exact voice greeting her in their bed every morning surfaced to the front of Beca’s mind, and the brunette had to suppress a shiver from wracking down her spine. She cursed under her breath for still being captivated by such a little thing.

Beca gathered her food, maintaining eye contact with her plate. “Hey.”

“Wie spät ist es?” (What time is it?)

Another involuntary shiver forced its way down her spine, and the DJ winced as she couldn’t stop it in time. Luisa tilted her head slightly, eyes still cloudy with sleep. “Bist du in Ordnung?” (Are you okay?)

“Yeah, I–... Could you not–” The brunette sighed, deciding to give up on trying to form a complete sentence. Fuck that goddamn morning voice. “Nevermind...”

“Hm?”

Beca risked a glance at the blonde, immediately regretting it, and internally groaned at her decision. There stood Luisa, looking like a lost puppy, blanket half draped over her shoulder and half dragging behind her. The taller woman blinked slowly, struggling to comprehend anything in her lethargic state.

The tiny brunette bit her lip in contemplation. “Look, you’re clearly still exhausted, so... why don’t you go back to sleep, ok?” She made her way past the dazed woman, and into her bedroom, calling over her shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

After a bit of scrounging around, Beca returned with a set of clothes in her arms. Luisa squinted blearily at it, a light bulb vaguely coming on in her head. “Das ist mein–” (That’s my–)

“Yeah. Your old stuff from–” The girl paused. A brief flash of emotion ghosted across her face that the German couldn’t quite make out in her disoriented state. She cleared her throat and continued slowly, almost delicately. “Your... your old stuff.”

“Mm.” Luisa took the clothes, an old t-shirt and sweatpants that she distantly remembered giving to Beca sometime before. The smaller girl cast her another indecipherable look before turning away to sit at the bar and start eating. The blonde looked down at her clothes, then looked at Beca.

A heavy silence weighed the room down as Luisa pushed her tired brain to try and analyze what was going on. Eventually, she shrugged to herself, and patted the brunette on the head before shuffling toward the bathroom to change. “Danke.”

Beca found herself releasing a breath she didn’t even realize she had been holding, silently thanking the forces that be that Luisa was too exhausted to question anything. She turned back to her food and continued eating with no further interruption.

Aside from her fork occasionally scraping against her plate, the apartment was quiet. It’s... too quiet. The brunette furrowed her brow, turning to peer suspiciously into the living room. “Luisa...?” She called out to the other woman hesitantly.

No answer. Sighing, she finished her food, placing her dish and fork in the sink. “What’s she doing now?”

Beca stepped into the living room, her ex-girlfriend nowhere to be found. She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Great. I lost her.” A faint noise drew her attention toward her bedroom, and the DJ narrowed her eyes in confusion. “Lu?”

She poked her head into the bedroom and found Luisa on her bed, snoring lightly and clutching the girl’s pillow against her chest. The brunette stepped closer, stopping at the edge of the bed, and reached a hand out. “Hey... Lu...” Her hand stopped an inch away from the blonde’s shoulder before she sighed and withdrew it, taking out her phone instead.

“Hallo?”

The rich, accented voice on the other line soothed Beca ever so slightly. “Erika, hey. It’s me.”

“Darling, how is everything? Are you alright?”

The brunette unconsciously twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. “Yeah, I just– um... so, don’t freak out when you get home, but... Luisa’s passed out. In our bed...”

“You invited her to bed?”

Beca’s eyes widened at the question, and she sputtered indignantly, hissing at her girlfriend. “Wha– no! B-be serious!”

The DJ was left silently flustered, grimacing at the amused smile she could practically hear in Erika’s voice. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

Beca rolled her eyes as the other woman continued to chuckle. “Ugh. Anyway. She’s still super out of it, so I’m not gonna move her. Just wanted to let you know in case she’s still here when you get back.”

“Ok. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

Beca smiled, her heart warming at those three simple words. “I love you, too.”

The brunette ended the call, her smile fading as her gaze fixed on the woman in her bed. She sighed as the weight in her chest made itself known once again. It all felt too familiar. The brunette ran her hands through her hair, briefly clutching her scalp as she debated what to do. She dropped her hands in defeat, her limbs smacking softly against the front of her thighs.

Beca shook her head, moving to draw the curtains closed as she muttered to herself. “Aw, c’mon, why’d it have to be the bed...?” 

“Mäuschen...”

Ice spiked through the smaller girl’s veins at the nickname she hadn’t heard in months. “Don’t...” She whispered softly, more to herself than to the sleeping German. Her jaw clenched, hands suddenly shaking. She crossed her arms in an effort to suppress them. Luisa’s eyes remained closed, the blonde wholly unaware of the mental battle Beca was fighting within herself.

The brunette shifted her attention back to the taller woman, who seemed to have clutched the pillow in her arms tighter. Beca drew in a long breath, slowly exhaling as she made a decision she hoped she wouldn’t regret. Yeah, right. This whole goddamn thing is messed up. How could I not regret it?

Beca ignored her intrusive thoughts, crawling onto the unoccupied space on the bed to lie down next to the dormant woman. All too familiar. Fuck. What am I doing? The DJ couldn’t stop herself, despite all her mental chastising. As she turned to face her ex-girlfriend, her hand began to reach out to the German of its own volition, and landed against a strong jaw.

Despite the evident lack of self-care that Luisa had exercised in the past months, Beca was surprised to find that the skin there was still as soft as she remembered. Her thumb brushed against the blonde’s lips without thinking. The girl’s eyes widened, fearfully glancing up to check for any sign of Luisa waking up, but the woman didn’t stir.

Beca scrunched her eyes closed in anguish, torn between her prior words and her current actions, and let out another long exhale through her nose. She craned her neck to look past the German. The clock on her nightstand glowed in the darkened room. 1:20 pm. “I’m giving it 30 minutes. That’s it.”

The brunette looked back at Luisa, tucking a few strands of the woman’s hair behind her ear. “Just 30 minutes.” She spoke to the room, trying to convince herself that just thirty minutes would be good enough.

Chapter Text

Beca sighed, picking at the edge of the pillow that Luisa clung to, still questioning herself. “What the hell am I doing? This is crazy. I’m crazy...” She stiffened as the other woman suddenly caught her hand, long fingers curling around her palm. “Luisa...”

The girl tried to slip her hand out of the blonde’s grasp, but Luisa only held onto her hand tighter, desperation creasing her brow. “Lu... I can’t...”

Between the German’s subconscious need and her grip on Beca’s hand, the smaller girl resigned with a light sigh. She recalled what she had told herself just a moment ago, and gently squeezed Luisa’s hand in return. “30 minutes.”

That seemed to reassure the sleeping woman, as her hold loosened into a gentle caress, the prior distress fading away from her face. Beca laid still, the time passing as she watched Luisa’s deep, even breaths make her form rise and fall hypnotically. She closed her eyes, and for a moment, she could almost pretend that they were simply reliving a good memory of the past.

Almost.

But the weight in her chest was growing bigger every minute she laid there, slowly gnawing a hole in her heart that she thought she had successfully patched up. The German’s touch on her hand felt like a burn spreading down her arm, threatening to set fire to her veins. Beca’s eyes were suddenly stinging with tears, and she brought her knees up to her chest, curling into herself.

“This isn’t right...”

“Beca?”

The brunette’s heart clenched. She felt the mattress dip slightly as Luisa began to fully awaken. The German rubbed the sleep from her eyes, blinking several times to reorient herself, trying to remember where she was. “How long was I– Beca...?” Luisa took in the smaller girl’s shaking form, suddenly alarmed and confused. “You are... crying...”

A barely audible whisper came from the quivering mass. “Get out.”

“Out?” The taller woman looked around, realizing for the first time that she was in a bedroom. “But how did I get–?”

“Just go!” Beca unfurled herself, gathering all the strength she could muster to shove Luisa off of the bed. The German landed on the floor with a grunt, staring at the girl with a bewildered expression, too perplexed to argue. “Get out of my room!”

Luisa scrambled out the door, casting a final, wounded look at the tiny brunette before the bedroom door was slammed in her face. The blonde’s mouth opened, but no noise came out. She wracked her brain, trying to think of what happened before she had fallen asleep, but came to no conclusion that could tell her why Beca was suddenly mad at her again.

The German growled in frustration, muttering to herself. “Verdammt... and I thought things were finally okay again...”

Luisa reached for the doorknob, hesitating, then shook her head and walked away. She stopped after a few steps, turning back to stare at the bedroom door, searching for something to say. After a moment of thinking, the woman called out loud enough to be heard through the door. “Whatever I did... I’m sorry...”

There was a long, empty silence, and the German gave up on waiting for a response. She sighed, and headed for the front door. As she stood outside of Beca’s apartment, she slumped back against the door, resting her head against it as she looked distantly at the sky.

“What is it that they say here? ‘Back to square one’...”

After a moment, another slam and a string of cursing could be heard through the door. The blonde’s ears perked up, and she leaned closer against the door to hear what was going on inside. Suddenly, the door opened, and Luisa was caught off guard, falling back into the apartment. “Scheiße!”

She hit the floor with a grunt, spots flashing in her eyes from the impact. The woman groaned, blinking away her dizziness. As her vision cleared, she found Beca standing over her, the girl’s bottom lip tucked nervously between her teeth. “Beca?”

“I-I’m sorry.” The brunette stood back, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Luisa sat up, rubbing her head. “About that. And... other things...”

Standing to face the smaller girl, the German furrowed her brow, still confused about everything that was happening. “Other things? I thought we already talked about–”

“Not... not those things.” Beca sighed, her arms winding tighter around herself. She motioned for Luisa to come back inside, and shut the door, leaning back against it herself. “Something...” The DJ closed her eyes, bracing herself for what she was about to disclose. “Something else happened. While you were asleep.”

Alarm bells rang in the taller woman’s head as she began to jump to conclusions about what she could have done in her sleep. “Beca, that can’t be– I would never–”

The tiny brunette shook her head quickly. “No, no, nothing like that, I just–” She sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You fell asleep in my bed.”

Luisa blinked. “What?” The anxiety flaring in her head settled, but an air of discomfort took its place. “I...” She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “I’m... sorry?”

“I mean, it’s not– you were so tired and it– you looked so lost and cute, and I just–” Beca huffed out an exasperated groan, smacking herself on the forehead. “I slept with you. I-I mean, not WITH you, but like–... like, NEXT to you, and– UGH!” The brunette stopped trying to stammer through an explanation, instead turning to lean her head against the door so there was less of a chance the German would see her face burning from embarrassment.

“I... don’t understand... what are you trying to–?”

Beca whirled around violently, throwing her arms out in exasperation. “I still think about everything we used to do together, and maybe I miss it more than I ever expressed, ok? Like, maybe I just really fucking miss you!”

The atmosphere fell dead still. Luisa stared at the smaller girl with wide eyes, her mouth slightly parted in surprise. The DJ gasped as her words caught up to her, and she brought a hand over her mouth, her own eyes wide at the admission. The brunette closed her eyes again, dreadfully anticipating this to be what would break the floodgates on Luisa’s inherently weak self-control.

The German processed Beca’s words, then spoke slowly. “I miss you too.” She paused, watching the smaller girl closely. “But you’re happy now, aren’t you?”

That was the last combination of words that Beca expected to come out of the other woman’s mouth. “Wh-what?” She blinked, not sure if she had even heard correctly. She had been prepared– almost hoping– to argue with the blonde like they used to. Anything to make it feel like old times again, anything to diminish the permanent rift between them now.

The smaller girl searched Luisa’s eyes, which were watching her earnestly. No anger, no bitterness, not even a trace of resentment filled those deep blue pools anymore. The view was so different from the past months, and Beca found herself getting lost in them. She had to force herself to refocus when the German spoke up again.

“You have everything you want. Don’t let it waste away because you pity me. I don’t want your pity. I only want to value what friendship we can salvage from all of this.”

Beca was speechless. Never in her life did she imagine that the woman standing in front of her, the ever abrasive, ever commanding Luisa Müller would ever be able to speak with such a humble tone. Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow. That’s... surprisingly mature. I guess Erika got through to you this morning, huh?”

“It tears me apart, but this is what I have to say, no?” Luisa offered the girl a half-smile, though her eyes held nothing but sadness. The woman had agonized for too long over this to have any fight left in her anymore. She shrugged, imagining that she was finally shedding away her troubles, like this was all some kind of cathartic release and not a whole new weight crushing her chest.

“Lu...” Beca reached a hand out, but the taller woman took a step back.

“Don’t. You’ve already made it this far without me.”

A fire ignited in the smaller girl’s chest at those words. She lunged forward, throwing her arms around the blonde in a fierce hug, uttering a harsh whisper as tears prickled behind her eyelids once again. “I’m not letting you leave me, damn it.”

Luisa froze at the words and contact. “Beca...”

“Shut up.” The brunette said quietly, hugging her tighter. “Just... let me have this. Please...”

The German conceded, allowing Beca to cling to her like her life depended on it. Her eyes closed, reveling in the familiar electric current that spread warmly through her from the girl’s touch. She wanted so badly to lean down and kiss Beca’s pain away, but the thought opened her eyes abruptly, and she settled for studying the trim on the door instead. “I don’t deserve this.”

A humorless laugh choked its way out of the DJ’s throat. “Neither do I. But here we are, anyway.”

“So, where do we go from here?”

A loud buzz broke the tension, and Beca sighed, pulling herself away from the blonde. “That’s my alarm. I’ve gotta get back to work.”

Cold air replaced the warmth against Luisa’s torso, and the woman had to refrain from drawing the brunette back into her arms again. Instead, she occupied her fingers with picking at the hem of her t-shirt. “Okay.”

As Beca turned to open the door and walk out to her car, the blonde watched her from the doorway. The DJ stopped at her car, looking back at her ex-girlfriend for a moment. Luisa’s eyes held no answers for the millions of questions in Beca’s, so the smaller girl settled for a wave. “You can go back to sleep if you want. I’ll see you later?”

The question wasn’t without weight, but the taller woman just shrugged. “Maybe.”

Beca’s face fell briefly at the detached response, but she shook it off and nodded. “Okay. Bye, Lu.”

“Tschüss.” Luisa watched the car drive away until it disappeared from her view completely. She turned back to the apartment, looking up at the entirety of it, then at the door again. The blonde sighed. I can’t stay here. It’s not right. She headed inside to change, stopping by the bedroom to make Beca’s bed, and laid her old sleepwear on the foot of the bed.

As she walked back outside, she paused on the front porch, glancing around. Other than the doormat she was standing on, the porch was occupied only by a cactus plant to the left of the doorway and small lion statue to the right. A small tremor quaked in her heart as she recalled having given both objects to Beca while they were still dating, and a quiet smile stretched across her face at the fact that Beca had kept them.

The blonde shook her head, refocusing on what she needed to do. She tapped her finger against her chin in thought before crouching down in front of the cactus, lifting the pot a little to feel around the floor underneath it. Her eyes lit up as she successfully acquired a key, and she chuckled, recalling that Beca had once said no one would want to bother putting their hand near a cactus to look for a spare key to their apartment.

Luisa quickly locked the door, returning the key to its designated hiding spot, then walked to her car. As she got inside, she pulled her phone out, considering whether to text Pieter. The German sighed, recalling the last time they had interacted, and grimaced at her past actions toward her friend.

“Hopefully, he will be willing to talk. If not...” She shook her head, deciding not to think about the negative outcome, and began typing.