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It wasn't a secret that after every mission, and just before the debrief, Robin would disappear.
Him disappearing wasn't unusual in itself - in fact, it was quite common. Especially since he did it so often now after missions, it'd become so normal to everyone that they never actually ever thought why he did so in the first place. They'd just accepted that the second they were back at Mt. Justice, Robin was nowhere to be found until he'd show up unfailingly every single time just before the post-mission debrief.
Kid Flash had gotten curious and followed him once, just to see where the young boy went but he'd just found out that Robin disappeared into his room. Doing what? Who knew. All he knew was that unlike the others after a mission, Robin didn't take a shower or grab a snack. Since it didn't really effect him, he gave up his pursuit of his curiosity.
Because of that, none of them ever really found out that the reason he disappeared to his room was to tend to his injuries from the battle. He could, of course, just go to the medical bay after each mission since it was rare for him to come from a mission unscathed and while it was the logical decision and he trusted the others, he found it easier to just deal with it himself with the thorough first aid kit he kept in his own room.
There were so many reasons it was just easier. For one, he was trained in first aid for as long as he had been trained as Robin, injuries coming as part of the job. That's why he was no stranger to pain at all, but it didn't mean he was immune to it or didn't just feel like curling up into a ball and crying because of it sometimes. Dealing with his injuries himself in his room let him do the latter if he needed to; another advantage. He could save his energy that he wasted on pretending to be okay in front of the others and just collapse onto his bed if he needed to. As soon as the debrief would start, he'd have to put on the mask of normalcy again anyway so he might as well give himself a little break in the meantime.
Whoever would be tending to his injuries in the med bay didn't need to see his scars anyway. He trusted the others with his life, but he still wanted to keep some things to himself. He didn't need them asking questions and prying into his past which could only end in a few ways with none of them good in his mind. He didn't need the others coddling him or treating him as fragile any more than they already did. The facts were that he was the youngest out of all of them - still the most experienced but that didn't matter - and he was also the smallest which sometimes came in his favour but mostly not - as well as the most obvious fact that he was the only one on the team without powers - even if he made up for it with skill.
He'd proven himself time and time again yet he supposed they couldn't help but coddle him just because of those three reasons, so what was the need to give them another reason to treat him as fragile? If it meant he had to pretend he didn't feel pain then so be it.
He had gotten pretty good at it as of late. He'd always been used to hiding his feelings ever since he'd started his training as Batman's protege and Gotham had taught him way before he even knew Bruce Wayne's name but he'd found himself doing it more and more ever since joining the team. Gotham's villains were brutal but the villains he fought on his missions now were arguably worse. He found himself getting hurt more often, the injuries themselves more severe too. Still, it was nothing he couldn't handle.
Today was especially bad though.
He'd taken one hit too many and had barely been able to get up on his own after the battle. His whole body screamed at him, and he was quite sure at least one of his ribs were cracked - courtesy of being thrown against the walls and floor multiple times in the span of half an hour by the behemoth they'd been facing.
The others had taken some hits too, but they all had super strength, or quick healing, or just plain ability-to-avoid-being-hit-because-of-their-powers so in this battle, he was probably the worst casualty.
Not that the others knew of course. He'd hidden it well. His cape was dark enough to hide the blood and his mask hid what he couldn't in his eyes. They were all distracted by their own smaller injuries and ruined suits anyway, so if he didn't have enough energy to hide his limp and unsteady… everything really, then it didn't matter.
As usual, he'd disappeared to his room soon after they'd returned, staying just long enough for the others to see and confirm he had followed them back for themselves before he was out of sight. The second he was, he groaned and had to use the wall to help him get to his room. He had to glance back to check there were no bloodstains on the wall from his gloves.
It took much longer than usual for him to reach the familiar door, leaving him with less time before the post-mission debrief to deal with his injuries. Mind already working fast, he prioritised the still-bleeding wound in his side to be dealt with first. The doorknob under his glove finally twisted and he stumbled into the room, immediately closing the door and giving up all pretences, collapsing against the wood and sliding down until he hit the floor with a painful jolt.
Another groan slipped from his lips and he closed his eyes.
Maybe… maybe he'd just stay here for a bit. Right here on the floor, just until he could catch his breath so like, two seconds at most. By that, of course, he meant a minute but not a second more.
Two minutes pass by and he's still on the floor, but he hasn't given in to the darkness that has appeared at the edge of his vision just yet. Deciding he should probably move, wrap up his wound - at least a bit because that's actually a lot of blood and it wasn't even the only injury he has - or the very least to move out of the way of the door in case he passed out and his team had to break the door in to find him. He really hopes it doesn't come to that, but he moves anyway, dragging his butt to the side closer to where he keeps the med kit until he's no longer against the door and instead he's beside it.
But even moving those few inches has taken its toll and he knows he's not gonna be able to deal with this himself. The darkness is feeling real inviting now, and he leans his head back against the wall, hand still futilely trying to staunch the blood. His chest - his ribs - strain with every breath he takes, so each inhale and exhale is getting harder to bear.
Two seconds rest he tells himself. Just two seconds then he'll muster up the energy to get up and get to his med kit and maybe he should magnetise it for situations like this so he doesn't even have to move but can still get the med kit because it'll come to him and he'd be okay and this whole idea of disappearing to his room won't be for nothing because it'll still work and…
He winces.
Briefly he wonders if he'll die there. What would happen if died here? These thoughts don't even really scare him, or make him sad and they're not really morbid or pessimistic either; he's just genuinely curious.
Knowing his mentor's (over)protective tendencies, Batman would probably kill some people - he only hopes it won't be one of his teammates because they didn't really do anything wrong exactly… I mean he kind of did bring it upon himself?
How long would it take for them to find him? He always, always just disappears after a mission, but… oh wait, Wally knows where he goes remember? The speedster had followed him one time, and of course he'd known KF was there, he was Batman's protege after all but he'd let himself be followed for situations like this.
He smiled at his own genius before it turned to a wince.
Maybe it wouldn't take long at all for them to find him then. He may always, always disappear after a mission but he also always, always shows up just before the debrief. Which if his sluggish calculations are correct should be in a few minutes because instead of two seconds, he's been sitting here for almost five minutes so he only really needs to hang on just a little longer; he trusts that Wally or one of the others would figure it out eventually. A test to see how much they really pay attention to him, or at least his presence.
A test he really really hopes they don't fail, for his sake and their own because Batman's wrath is very hard to avoid, especially if he comes back to find his ward unconscious, or worse, dead.
For now though, it's only the former that has taken hold of the young boy as the darkness finally takes over and his head lolls to the side, blood still flowing freely from where his limp hand lays futilely over it.
"You're late."
They all turn to the person Aqualad was addressing, the person in question walking in with bagel in hand, arms full of many other snacks.
"My bad," Wally says through a mouthful of food. He shrugs, chewing and ready for the debrief to start before his chews slow. Glancing around, he immediately spots what's wrong and promptly swallows the food in his mouth. "Seems I'm not the only one."
"Yeah. Only difference is we expect you to be late, but not him," Conner speaks up, expression mirroring the worry on everyone else's face.
"I'm sure he's fine. He probably just… went to grab a snack." Count on Megan to be the optimistic one, even if her nervous smile gives it away.
"I just came from the kitchen, and no Rob in sight. Besides, we all know he's always on time, never late unless something is really really wrong."
"He didn't look so great either," Connor adds, and the tension only gets thicker.
"Do any of you know where he disappears to after mission?" Aqualad asks, looking around at his teammates before his eyes settle on a certain speedster in yellow who is tentatively raising his hand as best he can without dropping his snacks.
Wally needs no prompting. "When I followed him a little while back, I just saw him go into his room. Of course, he's the master of sneaking around, so there's no way he didn't notice me so he might have purposely gone somewhere else but - "
"His room, got it."
Connor's already stalking out of the room before the others think to move, but it's only a second before they do. Kaldur and Megan immediately follow him, but Wally sprints the opposite direction before returning, arms free of snacks as he runs past the others to reach their friend's room first.
"Oh god." The frantic jiggling of a door handle. "Robin! Robin you in there?"
Prompted by his shouts, the others run to catch up with the speedster only to stop short when they see what made him cry out in the first place.
"That's a lot of blood…"
"M'gann, can you sense if he's in there?" Aqualad asks, the Martian opening her mouth to respond before being interrupted by Superboy.
"No time."
Five seconds later there was no door in front of them, and instead Conner was in the process of placing the detached door against the wall behind them.
"What?" He said, seeing their stares. "You guys always forget I have super hearing; I could hear his heartbeat and it's too slow. He's unconscious I mean, not dead, but he will be soon if you guys keep staring at me." His voice had lowered into almost a growl, finally breaking the spell on the others and pushing them into action.
Wally - unnecessarily - sprinted the one foot into the room, whipping around until he spotted Robin passed out on the floor, blood pooled around him with more still sluggishly pouring out from between his gloved fingers. The others appeared beside him, Kaldur immediately getting down on one knee to check the boy's pulse.
It's moments like these that never fail to sober the team, not just because one of their teammates is injured - gravely for that matter - but also because, especially in Robin's case, it reminds them all just how young they all are. Robin's the youngest and while he sometimes seems like it, other times he seems like the oldest. He is the most experienced, but that only makes them sadder when they realise how young he really was when he was thrown into this cruel world.
With no powers too, moments like these were painful reminders of how vulnerable he was no matter how skilled the boy was. It was a reminder that in the end, it didn't make a difference. All of them knew the harsh reality was - for all of them, not just Robin - that in this line of work they were likely to die young.
Kaldur was determined to make sure this wasn't the age Robin would die; no matter how weak the pulse under his fingers was, Robin would not die today.
"M'gann, go find Red Tornado and inform him Robin needs immediate medical attention," Aqualad instructed.
"Got it. I'll try and set up a physic link - Hello Megan! Android." She hit her palm against her head. "I'll be right back," she said before floating out of the room to find Red Tornado the old fashioned way.
"Wally, try to find some bandages, something to stop the blood."
"Huh? Oh right right, yeah. I got it." A gust of wind blew against Kaldur and Conner as Wally exited the room, gone in a flash like his name.
"What do you need me to do?" Conner asked as Kaldur continued to look over the young boy in front of him, trying to gauge the full extent of injuries the Boy Wonder had sustained.
"I need you to keep listening to his heartbeat and let me know if it drops."
"…Okay." A simple job, but an important one as Kaldur shifted Robin to get a better look at the bleeding wound, watching as the movement caused the boy's face to scrunch up in pain.
"I am sorry Robin," Kaldur whispers, not caring that Conner could probably hear anyway but he can't hear what Kaldur adds in his head.
I am sorry that we did not notice earlier. I am sorry that you felt the need to hide this. I am sorry that life is so cruel. I am sorry.
"Here, I found some gauze and some bandages and I also brought some…" Kid Flash's voice keeps rambling on as he sprints into the room, arms full of medical supplies this time just as M'gann's voice sounds in their head telling them to bring Robin to the medbay.
After using some of the bandages to make sure he won't bleed out on the way, Conner picks Robin up - ignoring as always just how small and light the guy is - and carries him to the medbay. Batman comes not long after Red Tornado has already spent seventeen minutes and twenty-two seconds alone with Robin, having shoved the others out within the first three minutes leaving them nervously waiting outside. He looks furious - well, as furious as Batman can look being emotionless and all - but he barely glances at the rest of the team before going right in.
Tornado comes out some time later and informs them that Robin will be just fine, but until they see it for themselves, the team only relaxes slightly with the news. Not that they get to see him anytime soon since Batman spirits Robin away not long after, but he comes back to ask what happened and they interrogate him then.
"He'll be fine," was the reply Batman gave, sighing when it didn't seem to satisfy the teens in the least. "He's strong and he's survived worse. He'll be okay." He quickly changed the subject before they could ask more questions. "That being said, how could you let this happen in the first place? You are a team and you're supposed to look out for each other. He'll be fine but he almost wasn't and that's on you."
The lecture lasted at least ten minutes, all four members of the team looking miserable and feeling very guilty by the end of it. The fact that Batman had reluctantly admitted that Robin would have been a lot worse if they hadn't found him when they did so he is a little grateful (of course not his words specifically) still wasn't enough to make them feel okay.
It was only later when someone who Wally referred to as the 'Batbutler' visited the cave with cookies, reassurances, and 'apologies for Master Batman's harsh words' did they finally let go of some of the guilt and stress, smiling a little now even if they were still worried about their injured teammate.
The guilt had come from letting Robin get away with being injured, but as time continued, they had started to think about how he'd hid it from them too, sharing the blame of how he'd gotten in such a bad state. It wasn't enough to completely deal with their feelings of guilt - which persisted in a smaller amount - but it guaranteed an interesting conversation when Robin was well enough to have it.
Everything hurt.
That was the first thing he felt when he came to, followed by a slight bit of surprise at having woken up at all. It seemed a small part of him really had expected him to die, but even now he wasn't entirely sure that he was completely in the clear.
He groaned, the bright light in the familiar room hurting his eyes when he finally opened them.
"Ah, Master Richard. It's about time. I shall inform Master Bruce."
Dick reached out a hand to stop the butler, or tried to anyway, only resulting in a wince when the movement caused his injuries to protest painfully.
"Wait," he managed to say instead, even if it was unnecessary since him wincing was all it'd seemed to take for the butler to stay.
"I would advise for you to refrain from moving, Master Richard, though I'm sure you're smart enough to have figured that out for yourself."
"Yeah, thanks Alfred," he says, frowning slightly at the slightly amused tone in the old man's voice. The butler still moves closer and helps Dick sit up regardless, and he's grateful because just trying to reach out his hand had made everything hurt so this almost makes him pass out again.
"Can I - " He doesn't even have to finish talking for Alfred to know exactly what he wants, already pushing a glass of water into the young ward's hand.
"Now may I inform Master Bruce?"
"How mad was he?"
"I would rather not answer, instead only remind you of his overprotectiveness."
"Hmm." Dick purses his lips before he sighs. "Fine. You can go get him then."
Alfred nods and exits the room quietly, leaving him to wait but not for long. Soon, Bruce Wayne's large form is filling the doorway.
"Dick." His mentor's voice has less emotion in it than Dick had hoped but he knows Bruce's tendencies to also hide his feelings so he likes to think that's all it is. "How are you feeling?"
"A little sore, but otherwise okay," Dick replies, as if it's just a question about the weather. He doesn't want to ruin it but he needs to know. "Tell me you didn't go too hard on the team."
Bruce's eyes narrow, and his expression hardens, not answering the question. One look at Allred's face says all Dick needs to know and he sighs.
"When can I go see them?"
Time moves fast and it's already been a few days since they found Robin in his room.
Since he's staying with Batman, none of them have been allowed to visit for the sake of keeping secret identities a, well, secret but the Batbutler calls them once to tell them that Robin's awake. Even so, he's on bed rest for at least another day and it might be two before he can come to Mt. Justice.
Wally manages to convince Batman to let at least him visit, since he already knows Robin's secret identity. It's a conversation the two hold in private when Batman comes to issue them a mission sometime later that day but they know the Dark Knight had reluctantly agreed to let Wally come after the job is completed. The whole team sees it as a win, even if only the speedster can go, and they all send him off with well-wishes and freshly baked treats (courtesy of M'gann) to give their injured teammate.
"Dudeee, you look like shit," is the first thing Wally says when he walks into Dick's huge bedroom, before adding on, "but at least it's better than… you know."
"Yeah, thanks man, makes me feel real great."
"Hey, at least now I know your sarcasm's working. Tells me you're gonna be just fine."
"Was there any doubt? Hey are those muffins?"
"Yup." Wally takes a seat on Dick's bed beside him, laying down the box of said muffins and a card. "Miss M really knows how to make a guy want to get hurt himself just for the love."
Dick just rolls his eyes at his friend, mouth already full with the still-warm treats. "You do not know how bored I've been."
"Bored? In your manor? With a personal butler? And like, anything you could ever want? No way."
"No point having all that if it's just me. So, wanna play some video games?"
Kid Flash can never refuse video games or Dick's wide grin but a thought occurs to him before he can say yes. "Aren't you on bed rest though?"
"So?"
"Your gaming stuff is all downstairs isn't it?"
"Yeah…" Dick says slowly, a confused look on his face. "So what? I'm fine." As if to prove it, the small teen gets up from his bed and swipes another muffin for the road. "Come on, let's go," he says behind him to a skeptical Wally.
"Yeah, don't think I missed that wince when you moved but fine. If Batman or Alfred gets mad though, I'm telling them it was your idea."
For the rest of the day, they have fun and it's nice to laugh and see each other laugh too. It's something that's becoming too rare so Wally stays quiet and doesn't bring up the elephant in the room.
Besides, he thinks, it's probably best to talk about it with the whole team anyway. For now, you're going down birdman, i'm so gonna beat you this time.
"Robin, B-0-1," the computer announces, and it gets everyone's attention.
A chorus of voices greets the small vigilante as he steps into the cave for the first time in days, and he has to reach out to steady himself when he's almost tackled by a red-head with green skin.
"Robin! I'm so glad you're okay!"
"It is good to see you are well my friend."
"'Sup."
"Hey, hottie, why don't you let Robin go and give me a hug too?"
"Haha, good to see you guys too."
Like Wally had that day, the whole team gives him some time before addressing the main problem, waiting until he's settled into one of the couches in the living room. The others are all there, having just finished catching Robin up on what he missed.
"Wow, so you guys were pretty busy then."
Agreeing hums sound before the room falls to silence. Predictably, Kaldur's the one to finally bring it up.
"Robin, we need to talk."
They all expect some kind of quip from the boy, but instead he just sighs and his smile becomes more serious. His eyes, as usual, are hidden so it's difficult to tell what he's feeling.
"I thought you would."
The conversation that follows is not a comfortable one for any of them, but they all know it is necessary. It's not always centred around Robin, but as far as it goes regarding him, he doesn't tell them everything, and he doesn't promise anything either, but by the end, a sort of agreement is reached between the team. It may not change much, for any or all of them, but they talked and no one's sad that they did.
No matter the outcome though, having the conversation itself did something more just by happening. It brought them closer as a team, and added onto the trust they are working to build that is so vital for their success. It's the first serious conversation they've had and it's by far the last but it means they're all working to be better, to make this team better.
There are two types of team bonding; the difficult one where serious conversations are had or terrible situations need to be worked through, and the fun one, where after they all talk, they put on a movie and grab some snacks and share laughs to remind themselves that as much as this is a team, it's also something more.
It's a family.