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Year One
The birthday cake isn't Hanna's best work. It's her first time making strawberry shortcake and she's pretty sure she added too much flour, so the whole thing is kind of dense. Mizuha, who can bake flawless macarons and cream puffs on her first try, wouldn't be able to take a bite of it without gagging.
Hanna eats the whole thing herself and skips class the next day with a sick stomach. As she's immobilized on the couch, she thinks about Aoki Yuuki and his endless well of optimism. Next time, if there is a next time, she should get Yuuki’s help.
Year Two
“Thanks so much for inviting me, Prez!" Yuuki still calls her President even though they graduated six years ago. Old habits die hard. "I brought a present!" He shoves a colorful book in Hanna's face. "I’m giving it to Fushi to give it to Mizuha-senpai later, but I wanted to show you first.”
It’s a new photo album, of Yuuki and his friends, and Kasabe and her friends, and Fushi and Tonari and their friends. Printed out and taped carefully to the pages are newspaper clippings from Takunaha—documentation of the Guardians’ activities; grainy pictures of a woman who Hanna can only recognize by the yellow feather in her hair.
Hanna has those same pictures on her bedside table.
She hands the album back. "I'm sure she's gonna love it, Yuuki-kun.”
Year Three
Fushi’s at the door, fourteen years old again and bundled in his usual fur coat and boots, even though it’s already April. “Yuuki said you had a present for Mizuha?”
Hanna gives him the letter. He takes it gently, like it might crumble to pieces in his hands.
“I’m sure she’ll love it,” he says, and he starts to melt into the floor. It’s disturbing no matter how many times Hanna sees it, but she knows from Yuuki’s explanation that he’s not actually melting, he’s just transferring himself from one of his roots to another. The explanation doesn’t help.
“Wait!” Hanna grabs onto him before he can disappear completely, and immediately snatches her hand away. His gloves are covered in a sticky white coat of ooze. She wipes it off on her jeans. “How is she doing?” Does she miss me? “Is she happy?”
Fushi smiles kindly. “Don’t worry, she’s super happy.”
Year Four
Hanna knits scarves. She knits hats, gloves, socks, sweaters. But she never finishes them. They sit in her drawer halfway complete until she gets them out again and slowly, carefully, unravels them. None of them are good enough.
Year Five
Hanna wakes up on April Sixth to a flurry of texts from Yuuki.
prez you neef to read this article right now!!!!!!!!
forgot to send it oops
one sec
here it is!!!
It’s an announcement that the Guardians—a religion dedicated to creating a peaceful world for both knockers and humans—are officially dissolving.
The article includes a statement from their current head: “Now that the Kaibara Company is leading the movement to incorporate knockers into our technology, we believe that our resources would be best spent aiding their research teams in Yanome. The Guardians’ existence may no longer be necessary, but I have faith that our former followers will continue to make this world a kind one.” Mizuha has always been a talented public speaker: for their middle school graduation, she gave a speech that made half the grade cry.
In the time it took Hanna to finish reading, Yuuki’s sent another set of messages:
isn’t this great? mizuha senpai’s work with the guardians is over!!
she’s finally coming home!
Year Six
But Mizuha doesn’t come home.
Year Seven
Hanna tries to be optimistic, like Yuuki. Maybe Mizuha wants to come back, but she has responsibilities that she just can't abandon, or something. Maybe...maybe she's trying to come back, but the Guardians have her locked away and won't let her leave (no, that's ridiculous).
Maybe she wants to answer the letters Hanna sends her every year, she's just so busy she hasn't been able to find the time. Maybe the Guardians...rip them up before she can even see them!
Maybe it's a test, like the ones Mizuha used to give Hanna when they were kids. If she just waits long enough, she'll pass.
Year Eight
But the truth is, Hanna knows there is no test. There are no extenuating circumstances forcing Mizuha away from her. Mizuha doesn't need a test to know when someone loves her anymore, and if someone loves her—and she loves them—there's nothing that could keep them apart.
Mizuha just doesn’t want to come home.
Year Nine
One more year, Hanna tells herself. One more year and I’ll give up.
Year Ten
“Happy birthday, Mizuha," Hanna says aloud to the empty room. “You’re twenty-eight years old today.” She pulls the candle out of the cupcake and licks the frosting off. Her cooking skills have improved a lot in the past ten years.
The doorbell rings. Hanna ignores it. It rings again. Probably Yuuki, or Fushi coming to cheer her up. She slogs to the door, unlocks it, pulls it open.
It’s Mizuha.
Her hair is cut shorter than it’s ever been, her clothes are worn, she has a suitcase pulled behind her, she still wears her feather earring, and—looking closely—Hanna can see faint smile lines by her eyes.
Without a word, Hanna pulls her into a hug.
Mizuha buries her head into Hanna’s shoulder and clasps her arms around her back. She whispers something that Hanna can’t hear, but she feels the vibrations of Mizuha’s voice in her chest, and she knows what she means to say: “I’m home.”