Archive of Our Own

“My dream of being an idol; give it back!”

“I’m sorry!”

She sat up quickly, drenched in sweat as she grabbed onto her sheets like her life depended on it.

“I’m…sorry….” she mumbled, regaining consciousness. Her breath steadied as she looked around her room. Her clock said 5:50 am, room still dark.

Haruka stood up, walking to her bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Ever since quitting the idol industry, she repeatedly had the same dream over and over. No matter how many times she would wake up from it, she would be more and more disturbed by it. The pang of guilt had become a loud chorus of screams.

It was her fault.

No, I can’t keep thinking like this, she thought. She splashed water on her face, watching the drops fall down her face in the mirror. She was tired. She was exhausted, even. She knew she needed to get out of this slump as if her dark circles weren’t saying enough.

Reaching a hand out, she rested it on the reflective surface, her tired expression shifting to one of determination.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” She would become better, for Mai. For causing hurt and suffering. For not being enough.

…

Haruka waved to her friend, waiting as she caught up to her.

“Heya Haruka! Haven’t seen you in a bit!” An greeted her friend. “Yeah, I really haven’t,” Haruka chuckled. “Thank you for inviting me to hang out.”

An beamed, “Of course! It’s been too long, ya know?”

“How's your group going?” the former idol asked her friend, who answered in excitement immediately.

“It’s going great! I’ve already found someone to join me! We just have to find more people, but we’re getting somewhere,” An cheered, hands on her hips in confidence. “I’m thinking of our name being something like EXCEED, or a variation of that. Still gotta ask my other member. Pretty cool, right?” Haruka grinned. “That’s amazing, An.”

“Yep!” Her eyes lit up as she remembered something. “Oh, there’s this new store that opened up down the block a few weeks ago, would you wanna go check it out? They’ve got a bunch of cool clothing!” The girl with the star berets giggled. Haruka smiled. “That sounds fun, sure.”

They started walking, An moving with an unmatchable energy. She was always so full of life, giving everyone a smile like she knew them personally. Although, she probably did know a majority of the people anyways. Haruka admired that nonetheless.

“So, what’s up? Anything going on since…” An asked, trailing off with an expression of sympathy, “You quit…”

Haruka’s breath hitched. She gripped her bag slightly tighter. “Nothing much,” she admitted, “I’m just trying to figure out what to do.” Their footsteps stopped as they waited for the light to cross the street. Haruka shifted her weight between her feet.

“Idol life just took over every aspect of my life, so not having to rehearse most the day is something that takes getting used to,” the blue haired girl went on, “Adjusting to school again has taken some time.”

“Wow, that’s a big change,” An started, “I’m so sorry, Haruka. It’s gotta’ve been pretty difficult to stop being an idol, huh. But, I’m sure you’ll get back up even stronger from this,” An said. Haruka raised an eyebrow, stepping forward as the crosswalk light turned to WALK. “Get back up stronger…?”

An looked at her, continuing onto the sidewalk of the many bustling stores. “Well, yeah. The Haruka I know is a tough one who’s determined to bring joy to those around her.” She looked at the signs of the stores, passing by one after another after determining it to not be their destination. “You’re strong! But I know you’ll always get stronger after any setback. Remember the arcade game battles in middle school?”

Haruka looked down at their shoes, hitting the pavement in unison. She smiled. “Yeah, I remember those. You’re one tough competitor.”

“You are too, Haru! Even when you lost, you’d brush it off and go again. I don’t know exactly why you had to quit being an idol, but I know that you won’t ever let any setback keep you down. You love performing, after all,” An said, with no trace of hesitation or doubt in her voice.

Haruka stared at An, processing her words. It wasn’t the same thing, was it? Those were just childish games.

An gave her a toothy grin with a thumbs up. Haruka smiled back.

Even if it was a little dumb, she appreciated her friend’s support.

“Oo I think this is it! Come on, there was this cool pair of pants I saw last time and now I have enough money for them! They better still be there,” An shouted, pulling Haruka into the store.

“Hah, slow down! They’re probably still are,” Haruka chuckled, trying to keep up with her friend.

“You’re always so loud, An. Don’t be so noisy, the pants are still there,” an unfamiliar voice spoke out. Haruka looked towards the voice to see a tall guy behind the counter.

“C’mon, you know you can be so much louder, Akito! Have you been to your own performances?” An retorted light heartedly. The guy clicked his tongue. “It’s called time and place.”

His eyes met Haruka’s. Akito, she supposed that was his name, had a certain aura to him. One that, if you couldn’t feel, made him seem like some average guy. But he clearly had the glow of a performer. The kind of guy who could get a crowd entranced immediately; the kind of guy to be able to completely change the atmosphere of the room with just the sound of his voice. It was almost intimidating, if it weren’t something she had been around before. He had to be a real talent.

“You a friend o’ hers?” Akito asked. Haruka flinched slightly in surprise at him talking to her, watching An go over to a corner of the store with some unique looking pants.

“Yeah I am, I’ve known her since middle school. She’s great,” Haruka responded, turning back towards the ginger. He nodded, considering her response.

“I guess I gotta agree with you. She’s not that bad,” he agreed.

“Er..” Haruka fumbled, “An mentioned you perform? What kind of stuff do you do?”

Akito’s eyes widened slightly. He coughed, “Well, I’m kinda on my own for now. I just do solo gigs at various venues I get accepted at. Doesn’t pay me or anything, so that’s why ‘m here.”

“Oh, I see, that must be fun,” Haruka replied, gradually getting quieter. Akito seemed to understand her words. “It is, but I sometimes wish I could do something bigger, ya know?”

“Bigger…” Haruka repeated. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“Do you perform?” Akito threw back at her, catching the former idol off guard.

“Not anymore, no. I quit being an idol around a month ago,” Haruka admitted. “I don’t sing anymore.”

“Wait,” Akito replied, “Are you Kiritani Haruka from that group ASRUN? I’ve heard stuff about ya.” Haruka looked at the ground. “That’s me– well, it was me. I’m just Haruka now.”

“Ah,” Akito trailed off. He looked at her, studying her actions as they fell into silence.

The ginger finally spoke up. “That sucks, not being able to sing for people anymore.”

Haruka glanced back up at him, trying to find the right words. “It–”

“Haru, they were here! I scored! I’ll be taking these please,” An ran over, proudly placing the pants on the counter along with a couple accessories she took. Akito looked away from Haruka to deadpan at the girl eagerly waiting to purchase.

“I told you, literally no one but you wants these. That’s why they’re going for cheap– and prolly why you can afford them,” Akito commented, taking the pants and scanning them.

The two continued bickering as Akito checked out the items, leaving Haruka to stand there with her thoughts. She wondered what this guy’s performances were like. Is he stuck wanting more, but just can’t get enough exposure? She’s been there, done that; She can sympathize.

“Alright, get out, and say hi to Ken for me,” the ginger said, signaling them to get out. An giggled, “Aw, you’re such a groupie! Always telling my dad hi like the fanboy you are.”

Akito flushed, “Hey, don’t call me a groupie or a fanboy! I just like his music, okay? You’re embarrassing.” “Groupie~!” An sang, waving as she headed towards the exit.

Haruka stood there, almost leaving but deciding she needed to say something to the boy working the counter. So she bowed.

“Thank you so much for your service,” she said. The former idol stared at the street performer, eyes glimmering with determination. “And good luck, you will become a star one day!”

She turned and left to follow An before she could get any response.

Outside, An started laughing as they went off. “You didn't have to be so formal, Haru! He’s just a guy at the end of the day.”

Haruka kept on walking by her side. “I just thought that it would be good for me to wish a performer good luck.” An looked at her, smiling in understanding.

“Oh my god, Kiritani! Hi!” a cheery voice exclaimed, bringing Haruka’s and An’s attention towards a pair of siblings.

“An and friend Kiritani, greetings!!” The blond guy next to Saki nearly shouted.

“Hello Saki, and, um..?” Haruka trailed off, looking at the loud guy.

“I am Tenma Tsukasa! The world’s future star! Brother of the lovely Tenma Saki!”

“Oh, well, nice to meet you, Tsukasa.”

“Hey Tsukasa! Where’d y’all go?” An asked, gesturing towards the boy’s fancy outfit. He grinned proudly, posing confidently. “I just finished an audition. Ha! They will not be able to say no after that performance!”

“We’re just going to get some dinner now since my brother finished his audition. A little reward!” Saki smiled. “That was my best performance yet, after all!” Tsukasa added.

“Haha, good luck then! We’re just gonna be shopping around here, so have fun! See you Monday, Tsukasa!” An said, waving. Haruka waved along with her, eyes sparkling at the bright actor, “Good luck with the audition, Tsukasa.”

Tsukasa huffed in gratitude. “Thank you, Kiritani!!”

Anyone within a 10 mile radius could tell that Tsukasa Tenma was an eccentric musical performer, if not by the sheer brightness he had by the way he did anything and everything, but by the loud laugh that carried through the street as he and Saki walked away. His shows sound like they would be the most out there, exciting, creative performances ever.

It brought her a little bit of hope seeing this kid so confident and excited towards his craft.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, An dragging Haruka from shop to shop, buying things here and there, but mainly talking and catching up. It was nice, just hanging out with An. An, who would never define her by her idol successes and failures, but who would define her as Haruka. She was just Haruka. And from her, that didn’t really hurt.

“Woah, a new confectionary opened up here!” An pointed out, glancing at the display cases full of sweets. “Oh my god they have rum raisin ice cream! I’m definitely getting that one!”

“Not if I get it first!”

The two turned around to see a person with a pink ponytail grinning at them. “Mizuki! Hey!” An greeted them excitedly. “Whatcha doing here?”

“I came here to take a break from working on sewing some outfits to check out the new confectionery, but it seems like I was able to run into one of my besties~!” Mizuki drawled on in a sing-song voice. They seemed to have a nice singing voice from the little bit I heard; Great control of their vocal chords, Haruka thought. “Who’s this?”

“I’m Kiritani Haruka, An’s friend,” Haruka smiled. Mizuki nodded. “Cool! Lovely meeting you, I’m Akiyama Mizuki, fashion extraordinaire!”

“Wanna join us? We’re gonna eat here! That alright, Haruka?” An asked. Haruka shook her head apologetically. “I need to start heading out, the sun is starting to set and I’m expected home soon. You two have fun though. It was nice meeting you, Akiyama. Best of luck with your work.”

“Hehe, thanks! Nice meeting you too! Bye bye!” Mizuki grinned warmly. An gave Haruka a hug before the former idol went on her way, thanking them for their time.

Mizuki definitely stood out in a crowd. No one else wore a smile so brightly the same way they wore those frilly skirts and dyed their hair pink. This only made them stand out more, making it impossible to look away from them. They seemed to draw you in, cheekily smiling at you, showing off their charm and warmth. They were the definition of charisma.

An had such lovely people in her life, Haruka couldn’t help but smile as she walked home. She truly hoped those people were able to go further than she did and shine brighter than any star out in the galaxy.

…

It was like everything she saw reminded her of performing.

Oh, how she wished to get back on a stage and sing. To see a crowd of people cheering her on, and in exchange, she gives them music to fulfill their yearning hearts. To see them smile was the best experience. She missed that blue ocean of light.

She found herself walking down that same sidewalk for weeks after that day with An.

The store was nothing special, just a location selling trendy clothing. Hell, she didn’t even go inside when she passed by.

But she would always pass by in curiosity, hoping to find that Akito guy. She couldn’t even explain why she kept going by, especially when she wouldn’t even go inside. It felt like she was hoping for something to happen. A miracle to occur that would make it okay for her to get back on stage. Something, anything.

The former idol knew her constant visits hadn’t been going unnoticed either, for she’d started seeing Akito inside, giving a nonchalant wave as she passed by. In return, she’d give a small smile and a nod.

One day, there seemed to be stuff going on inside the store. People talking inside rather seriously. She slowed her pace a little to listen in.

“You’re kidding, right? Ugh, of course, my one chance to get closer to making it big, and I need to have a partner!” Haruka heard Akito groan. She saw him talking to a guy she’d never seen before. “Can’t you enter with me, Toya?”

“I’m sorry Akito, I can’t. My dad’s making it harder for me to have any free time, cramming my schedule with violin practice,” the boy with the split hair, presumably Toya, said with resentment.

“That guy..! God, I swear, I’ll stuff that sheet music down his...” Akito growled, clearly pissed, but cut off by Toya. “I get it, Akito. I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Damn, what am I gonna do now? They only hold Color Pop Explosion every so often, imagine the publicity I could get by winning? Dammit…” Akito lamented, getting a reassuring pat on the shoulder from his friend.

“I can help!”

The two boys looked to the entrance to see Haruka standing there, a sparkle of eagerness in her eyes. Her confidence immediately went down upon them staring at her. It kinda felt akin to the time after Mai quit, going back on stage but her legs refusing to move. Except this felt stupider.

She didn’t even think this through. She promised to herself she’d do better. She wouldn’t get back on stage. It would only undo anything that she promised to Mai, right? To stay off the stage with her, no longer facing the world.

And yet, she was almost excited at the thought– getting back up there, lights all over as she poured her heart and soul into every note, every move, and every smile she returned to the audience.

God, what was she doing?

“Kiritani?” Akito asked in bewilderment. “You know her, Akito?” Toya asked, also very confused. Haruka stood there, knees very close to giving out.

“I- um, I apologize, I did not mean to listen in on your conversation. I don’t know what I was thinking, I wasn’t offered going on stage with you, I don’t know what came over me–”

“Aren’t you Kiritani Haruka?” Toya questioned, looking at her curiously. She managed a nod. “So you do sing… you’re quite skillful from what I’ve seen,” Toya turned to Akito, smiling.

“You may have found a partner,” the taller boy said with a genuine look of happiness on his face. Akito looked between the two. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The green became visible once again in a matter of seconds.

“Alright. Can you be my singing partner for Color Pop Explosion?” Akito asked, crossing his arms. Haruka stood there, ready to reject the invite, but stopped by something. Maybe it was their expectant faces, maybe it was her yearning to get back up on stage, maybe it was the loneliness that crept upon her day after day, but she couldn’t say no.

“...Yes, I’ll do it.”

The boys smiled. “Thank you so much, Ms. Kiritani, for helping my friend,” Toya bowed his head, shaking her hand gently. Haruka returned the sentiment.

“But listen, CPopExplo is in around three months, the 17th of June. We need to prepare and fast. Not to mention I haven’t even heard you sing in person or how our voices mesh. Shit, we’ve got a lot to do,” Akito mumbled, grabbing a piece of scratch paper and scribbling on it. He handed the paper to Haruka, who took it with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s my number. We can meet for practice tomorrow over at WEEKEND GARAGE. You know where that is since you know An, right?” Akito explained.

“Oh, yes I do. I have gone there a couple times,” Haruka nodded, all the anxiety hitting her at once. ‘Oh god, I’m going to be performing in front of an audience again’ was the only thought constantly flying through her head, even as she agreed to the details and bid goodbye to the friends.

The moment she arrived home she opened her phone to research the event, reading articles on past ones, the expanse of attention, and the requirements to get in. She needed to be prepared for this, she had so much to gain and yet so much to cause harm to.

…

RING!

The bell on the door of WEEKEND GARAGE rang, alerting An of a new customer's presence. “Heya! Welcome to– oh, Haruka!” An immediately shifted from a professional worker to a giddy friend who greeted Haruka with open arms.

“You didn't tell me you were coming to hang out! My shift is stil–""Oh, I’m sorry, An, I’m here for practice actually,” Haruka said apologetically, hands on her friend’s shoulders. She tilted her head. “Practice?”

“Oi, there ya are,” the ginger’s deep voice announced, walking back into the cafe. An stared, her jaw on the floor at this point as Haruka bowed politely.

“You- he- pr- WHAT?” An exclaimed, rather flabbergasted. She turned her head almost 180, and it would’ve been scary if it weren’t her friend, towards Akito. “So she’s your new partner?!”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you,” Akito taunted, grinning at An’s ever-confused expression. She ignored him, rather grabbing Haruka’s hands with her own.

“I wish you the best of luck, Haru! I hope you can handle this stupid idiot and his unnerving comments. You’re going to do amazing and I’ll be cheering you on!” An said with the eloquence of a pretentious grade schooler.

“Oh hush,” Akito grumbled, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, the practice room is just back here.”

Haruka gave an apologetic smile to An as she followed the ginger. An sighed, going back to brew some coffee instead of bothering the two any further.

The former idol walked into this back room, noticing the little stage and the event set ups scattered around.

As if reading her mind, Akito spoke up. “This room is sometimes used for events, we can use this stage to practice actually performing and stuff.” Haruka nodded, letting herself study the room further. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah, but the venue for CPopExplo is a lot bigger. Like a lot. You know this is gonna be seen all over the country, right?” Akito explained, narrowing his eyes at the blue haired girl. She did not waver, just nodding in reply.

Akito took out his phone and tapped some things, leaving Haruka to just wait until he was done. He turned the screen to her, showing the screen of a playlist. “This— this is gonna be the key to your success outside of our practices. This is a playlist of all the songs and genres of music I tend to perform. If you listen and practice improv choreo and singing, you can get a better grasp at how to perform.” Haruka looked at the playlist.

“Could you send that to me?” she asked. He nodded, tapping his screen a bit before her phone beeped. “Thank you,” she smiled. He returned it, albeit a lot more lowkey. “No problem. Okay, let’s start with going over the song we’re gonna perform. You sing it and then I’ll join you. We can see how to divide the lines and harmonize from there…..”

Practice went on for a few hours. Haruka couldn’t say she wasn’t tired, but she was honestly pretty happy. It had been a while since she last trained, and her singing was definitely a little rusty. Nonetheless, she was a quick learner, and if not for that, she was a determined person.

Hope for a better tomorrow…

Maybe she should start taking her own advice.

Haruka, you liar!

Mai’s words subconsciously came back in her mind. Would her advice really help her if it couldn’t help anyone else?

The music came to a stop and the two wiped the sweat dripping from their faces. The room’s former loud state had become quiet, just white noise and some slight sounds of voices from the cafe. Haruka grabbed her water, drinking it and walking around a bit before sitting down.

Akito joined her on the edge of the stage. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but it closed seconds later.

“Is there something wrong?” she asked. He flinched, like he didn’t expect her to have noticed. He sighed, drinking a little more of his water before closing the cap.

“Why’d you quit being an idol?”

The words hit Haruka like a semi truck. She had to cover her mouth so she didn’t spit any water out and make a mess. She swallowed, staring at nothing in particular. Akito waited patiently next to her.

“I.. I left because I ruined someone else’s dream,” Haruka whispered, which probably would’ve been impossible for the ginger to hear if the room wasn’t dead silent. “Have you heard of Mai from ASRUN? I’m sure you have if you heard about me.”

“I think so, the name sounds familiar. I’ve only heard about you guys from gossip around here and at work.”

“Well, basically I was her role model. She became an idol because of me. We trained together for years and we even sang duet songs on stage together. It was so fun,” Haruka smiled nostalgically, but the smile quickly faded away as she looked back up at Akito.

“My catchphrase was always to hope for a better tomorrow. So even when she was struggling with her singing, I told her that she shouldn’t give up, because tomorrow would always be a better day. And then, we had to take her to the hospital. Turns out her vocal chords were damaged and she wouldn’t be able to sing the high notes she needed for our group.”

Haruka sighed, looking back at her hands fidgeting together. “She overworked herself because of me. After that, she yelled at me, and I haven’t even seen her since. My last performance was right after that. My legs froze and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I haven’t gone on a stage since.” Her brows furrowed. “It’s my fault.”

She forced herself to look at her new partner, who said nothing. His eyes, however, said a lot. A look of understanding, a look of solidarity.

He looked away at the walls of the practice room, voice lowering to a whisper. “I think I get that. But for the record, that doesn’t seem like it was your fault. Even so, that just means you gotta work harder for her if you really believe that you wronged her. Put your advice to work.”

Haruka let herself let go of her breath, looking at the same wall Akito was. “What if she sees me at that event? Seeing me on stage when she can’t be up there herself, it sounds horrible,” she asked, more thinking out loud than expecting an answer.

“So what?”

“Huh?”

“If anything, she lashed out at you for something out of your control. Her circumstance was pretty bad. Hell, I’d probably be the same in her position; But that doesn’t mean you should live with the thought that you put her there, cause it’s not all on you. If she can’t perform on stage anymore, it’s your job to get up there yourself and keep going for her,” Akito said, crossing his arms. “Doesn’t mean you should stop. You’re already here anyways, ya know?”

Haruka looked at him. There wasn’t a trace of malice on his face– just the eyes of a person who understood. She gave him a small smile.

“Every Saturday, groups come back here and do their own shows here. I’ve been doing most of mine here actually,” Akito explained, getting up. “This Saturday, we’re performing up here. That will be part of your training. We gotta get ya on stage, after all.”

The former idol wanted to refuse. She knew that going up on stage, seeing a sea of people staring at her expectantly, knowing Mai would never be in her place— it would hurt too much. Her legs wouldn’t move, or worse, completely give out.

Despite that, that same something deep down that got her in this position in the first place spoke up.

“Okay. What do we need to prepare?”

…

Now, Haruka wouldn’t say this crowd was big. There were roughly only 15, maybe 20 people in there (including An, loudly cheering for them even while they were backstage); Probably some regulars who attended these often. Only two other groups were performing alongside them. Even so, she was sweating bullets. Her outfit was surely going to get stained at this point.

She fanned herself, pacing around backstage. Akito was occupied getting the final things prepared with An’s Dad. Haruka took a deep breath in, and let it out. She couldn’t let her anxiety get to her.

She peeked out at the crowd cheering loudly for the first group going up. The former idol could feel her heart drop to her stomach. Why was she even here? How could she even help Akito when her legs were already melting like jelly over a measly crowd like this? She had performed in front of thousands before, so why was it hard now?

Akito must’ve noticed her distress, as he lightly elbowed her to get her attention. “Don’t sweat too much before we start, or else you’ll be dripping all over after dancing,” he said, concern laced in his seemingly cold words. She appreciated the attempt to calm her down.

“I’ll try. Is everything ready?” She asked. He nodded. The street performer started running down the plan with his partner, the latter trying very hard to listen over the loud sound of her blood pumping through her veins.

“Alright, we’re up next,” he said, giving her a light pat on the shoulder, “Let’s do this. Show them what you got.”

Haruka gave him a smile and shook her head in affirmation. She looked out towards the stage, mentally preparing herself to get out there. Akito was counting on her to not mess things up.

“And now, it’s a familiar face you all know and love! But what’s this; he’s joined by a new one!” The MC announced, hyping them up. “Please welcome Shinonome Akito and Kiritani Haruka!”

Akito gave her a thumbs up before confidently walking on the stage.

She followed slowly, her eyes still on the ground. She inhaled deeply as Akito’s stage presence shone, getting the crowd excited quickly with just a few words.

Look up.

She froze.

There were eyes all on her. Every one of them trying to make some sense of the smaller, shaky girl stuck in place next to the fiery flame Akito Shinonome.

I can do this, she repeated in her head, a mental mantra she’d held onto the whole time.

The music started.

She opened her mouth.

And missed her cue.

The sight of eyes on her had distracted her and by the time her part of the song came, she was still looking out at the audience with wide eyes.

It only really set in on her that she was behind when Akito came and sang in her place. Haruka watched as he flawlessly sang her lines, altering the choreography slightly to cover her.

She couldn’t let him down. She wouldn’t. She needed to do this.

She closed her eyes and parted her lips. Her brows furrowed in determination as she got into the role.

What surprised her was the surge of confidence she felt as she started the song, hitting the notes she had long forgotten the feeling of singing. With her eyes closed, she could no longer see the eyes staring daggers into her. She could just sing.

Of course, this couldn’t last forever. They had choreography to do, so with great difficulty she opened her eyes. She decided to keep her eyes away from the audience, looking at random unimportant objects instead. Pretending no one was there, her legs felt lighter.

She caught sight of Akito, returning his grin with a shaky one of her own and continuing to put her everything into executing the dance and singing as perfectly as she could, despite her body continuously feeling like an earthquake.

Even so, it was fun. She was actually having fun.

The song came to an abrupt stop, Haruka hitting the ending pose a tad behind Akito. Nonetheless the crowd didn’t seem to notice, instead cheering rather loudly. It seems they hid their slip up rather well. She finally lifted her head to face the crowd.

It was nostalgic, seeing the happy faces of people applauding. Her adrenaline came down and the fear came settling back in, seeing all the faces looking at her.

No, you can’t let it win.

Haruka took a deep breath. She let the ends of her mouth turn upwards, smiling and waving at the hyped crowd.

“And that was Akito and Haruka’s performance!! Lovely to see new faces around here. And next we have…”

Haruka walked backstage, to which she was surprised to see Akito grin at her, holding up his hand. “Hey, not bad,” he said. The former idol gave him a high five, grinning back at him.

“Thank you, you were amazing,” she replied.

“We just gotta keep doing this until CpopExplo, and by then, you’ll be unstoppable. We’ll do bigger and bigger crowds until we’re at the event itself,” Akito went on, taking a sip from his water.

Haruka nodded in understanding. She knew her hands were still shaking from her missed cues and the eyes staring at her, especially as she grabbed her water bottle, but the very fact that she made it through the whole thing was something she was incredibly proud of.

In the back of her mind, however, she worried immensely about the other performances. Bigger and bigger crowds? Her stomach felt like it turned inside out just with this crowd, so what would Color Pop Explosion even be like? The blue haired girl stared in her water bottle, not particularly interested in the contents, but just wanting to avoid looking at Akito. She’d eventually let him down, wouldn’t she?

“AKITOO!!”

The two turned towards the direction of the voice. You could hear that boisterous voice anywhere, probably even the current performers onstage could.

Walking backstage was Tsukasa Tenma, practically glowing as he entered the dark area towards the pair. It made complete sense that the noise belonged to him, he was an actor at heart, after all.

“You’re kidding me,” Akito muttered under his breath. Haruka watched in confusion as Tsukasa came up to them.

“Ahh my junior is so talented! I’m so lucky!” Tsukasa cheered, posing every couple words to Akito’s annoyance. His face seemed to darken for a split second before returning back to light hearted irritation. Haruka couldn’t even tell if she was seeing things.

“What the hell are you doing here, Tsukasa-senpai?” Akito huffed. Tsukasa crossed his arms, lifting his head. “Toya told me to come watch to see how you’re doing! He couldn’t come by himself sadly, his dad’s been really strict as of late.” Haruka could see his face fall as he reminisced about the absence of his junior.

“Nonetheless, you both performed very well! I didn’t know you were working with Akito, Haruka,” Tsukasa beamed, turning to face the blue haired girl. “I actually just recently joined him,” Haruka said, earning a pat on the back from the future star.

“Well, you’re doing fantastic! I am cheering you on,” he smiled, his eyes shining as he looked at the two. Haruka had to appreciate his enthusiasm. His joy and confidence in others left you feeling warm and renewed, like you could do anything.

Hm?

Haruka’s eyes widened. “Akito, may I speak with you for a bit? Would you mind giving us a second, Tsukasa?” she asked. “Eh? Alright then,” Akito shrugged. “Of course! Go ahead,” Tsukasa reassured.

Haruka walked a little ways behind them, Akito following. “What’s up?”

“What if we invited Tsukasa to join the group?” Haruka asked, leaving Akito’s mouth to drop open. “I know, this isn’t my group, so I’d rather run it through with you, but think about it; he’s an expressive actor and I’ve heard he’s very musically talented too! I was also reading up on Color Pop Explosion, and it seems that the more members you have, the more likely you’ll be to get more traction. It would be perfect. You seem to know him, so it would be more comfortable working with him than a random stranger.”

Akito closed his mouth, thinking about her words. Crossing his arms, he sighed. She followed his gaze to Tsukasa, who was waiting patiently a few feet away.

“Him, though? He’s loud and annoying. I see him at school and he’s started eating lunch with me too. Not like I need to see him anymore than I already do…” he trailed off, like something was conflicting in his brain. His expression softened for a bit before he snapped out of it, covering his face with his hands.

“NO! Urgh, nevermind. My point is, are you okay being around him? You clearly haven’t met him,” the ginger calmed down, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Well, he seems like a nice guy with good intentions, I think it’s worth it to get to know him, especially since it seems you’ve got a little thing against him for somewhat surface level reasons. I think we should at least give him a chance,” Haruka reasoned with the red head, earning an unreadable look from him.

He sighed. “Fine… let’s see what he can do and we’ll decide from there.” Haruka’s eyes lit up, “Really?”

“Yeah, I know this used to be my group, but now I’ve got a new teammate. The least I can do is make sure we’re on equal footing and can compromise decisions ‘n shit,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Besides, you might be right… about CPopExplo.”

Haruka smiled. The two walked back, turning towards Tsukasa, who’s attention was gained back by their return.

“So, what would you think about joining our group for Color Pop Explosion?”

…

“What kind of song would you like me to perform? I’m well versed in many things so I can tackle any audition that comes for me! Truly the nature of a future star!” Tsukasa posed, looking at the pair with literal stars in his eyes.

“He’s so bright,” Akito scoffed under his breath. Haruka didn’t miss the way his cheeks were dusted with pink.

“Well, we’re still trying to figure out if we’re going to keep with Akito’s style of music or change it, so whatever you’re more confident with,” the former idol replied in kind.

“Haha, of course, of course! I should only show the best!” the blond exclaimed. He pointed towards the pair sitting on the floor in front of the stage that he was currently standing on. “BEHOLD— the Pegasus, Tsukasa Tenma!!”

The only way she could think of describing Tsukasa Tenma on stage was radiant. Almost blinding he was, his demeanor so easily changing as he sang every word with intention. The girl couldn’t help the smile growing on her mouth.

He switched from song to song smoothly, changing the little dances he did just as easily. It was like he was born on a stage. He’d make a great idol, she thought to herself.

When he finished, Haruka found herself grinning ear to ear as she applauded. Tsukasa bowed exaggeratedly, taking in the applause with pride. Akito looked at loss for words, just staring at his senior.

“Akito, are you alright?” Haruka asked, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. He crossed his arms, looking at Haruka with an unreadable expression. “Yeah yeah, just… damn.”

“How was that? I’ll have you know this is actually the best I’ve done at an audition!” Tsukasa stated gleefully, stars practically in his eyes.

“That was lovely, Tsukasa. You have a lot of versatility in your performance and singing,” Haruka went on as Akito did something on his phone. “What did you think, Akito?”

Akito looked up, staring at Tsukasa intensely. The former idol couldn’t tell if she was seeing things when Tsukasa wavered underneath the ginger’s intense gaze.

“You were good, a lot better than I expected,” Akito said truthfully, standing up and walking towards the blond. Haruka got up and joined them as Akito put out his phone to Tsukasa.

“But I wanna see one more thing. So choose a song from my playlist and sing it,” Akito directed, shoving the phone in the actor’s hands. Tsukasa nodded in affirmation and looked at the playlist, his eyes moving down the list of songs. He stopped, his brows furrowed in confusion. He looked back up at the two, curiously looking back at him.

“What’s ‘Untitled’?” He asked, pointing to a song. It was blank, no artist name, no album cover. Just the name.

“What? That’s not supposed to be there, I’ve never even seen that before,” Akito disclosed, green widened in surprise. “Dammit, did Ena mess with my stuff?”

“Maybe click on it and see what it is,” Haruka suggested, watching the screen closely. Tsukasa quickly tapped on it. Nothing happened.

“Oh, maybe it’s just a song that wasn’t do— Ah!” The former idol was cut off by a flashing light coming from the phone. Akito tried grabbing his phone out of Tsukasa’s hands, trying to stop the ever growing light. Haruka couldn’t see anymore as her vision was blinded in white light.

She wondered if she just lost all her senses, but she was quickly proven wrong when she started hearing a peppy instrumental playing. She couldn’t pinpoint where exactly it was coming from; Rather, it felt like it was playing all around her.

Color started seeping into her vision. The girl blinked to try and adjust to whatever the colors were coming from. Her mind started piecing together what she was seeing to the best of her ability (after all, it’s not everyday you get teleported to some entirely different location by playing an unknown song).

She was able to identify Akito and Tsukasa, still with their eyes closed. She noticed the phone was no longer in their hands, leaving the two holding onto each other. She would’ve giggled at the sight if it weren’t for the fact that they could be in serious danger right now.

“Are you guys alright?” She asked, watching their eyes flutter open. Akito looked at his occupied hands and quickly moved them away, stuffing them in his pockets. Tsukasa’s laugh was laced with awkwardness as he brought them to his hips. He looked at Haruka.

“Ah, Kiritani! We’re good, but,""Where the hell are we?” Akito finished, looking around at their surroundings. Blue and scarlet joined him, taking in the unfamiliar location.

The walls were colored with pastels, blues and pinks, yellows, and oranges. They went high up into the sky, presumably, making the room look more like somewhere up above.

She looked down, but the floor was a translucent shade, not completely gone but clear enough to see an ocean of lights down below, swaying with the instrumental and lights flickering on and off.

There were stars twinkling everywhere, she almost bumped into a few. However they weren’t exactly stars, they looked more like fireflies just floating up and down in space.

Of course, she didn’t overlook the massive amount of mirrors on these walls. Tons of them, all designed in different shapes and styles. Looking anywhere in the room would only result in her seeing herself. The reflective surfaces were all around them, going all the way to the top and trailing down into the sea of light.

Haruka found herself drawn to a particularly bigger mirror, stained glass surrounding the border delicately designed with flowers; Cosmos flowers perhaps? She walked closer to it, draining out the sound of Akito and Tsukasa talking.

Her hand grazed the surface. The former idol looked up and froze. Her blue eyes were not widened in shock in her reflection. Instead, there stood a girl in a beautiful stage costume, dazzling beyond belief. Those blue eyes shone brighter than ever as the girl gave her a big grin.

The crowd behind her got more excited, their light sticks waving faster. The girl looked the happiest she could be. She waved to someone off screen and within a matter of seconds, next to her stood Mai. She smiled and waved back at her before turning to the crowd and continuing to dance. The girl laughed, waving at her other group members, most of them unrecognizable with the lighting. She looked back at Haruka and held out her hand. The former idol couldn’t hear anything, but she knew exactly what the girl was saying.

Let’s work for a better tomorrow!

Haruka gasped and her face paled, stepping back from the mirror. She stared at her shaking hands. That couldn’t have been me. That was not me.

“Oi, Haruka, what happened?” The street performer asked, moving towards her. Tsukasa followed closely.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking a lot,” Tsukasa asked, offering his hands out to her. She took it, gulping as she noticed how obvious her shaking hands were between her senior’s. “It’ll be okay, we’ll find a way out.”

“Did this mirror show you something?” Akito asked, looking at the mirror Haruka was looking at before. The blue haired girl nodded.

“I saw myself… but I was onstage. It was just like my previous concerts when I was an idol. And Mai.. Mai was up there with me,” she explained.

Tsukasa tilted his head. “Who is Mai, if you don’t mind me asking?” “She was in my old idol group. I quit because I was the reason she couldn’t perform anymore,” Haruka replied. “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Having to quit being an idol sounds tough, especially when it was probably something you loved to do,” Tsukasa squeezed her hand in sympathy. “Hurting a loved one isn’t something you can move on from easily.”

Haruka nodded. She watched as Akito looked at another big mirror, this one more uniquely shaped. It wasn’t a specific shape, more like a blob if anything. Akito looked into it, staring intensely at his own reflection. She couldn’t see any difference in his reflection, but he must’ve seen something else because he jumped back from the mirror.

“Holy crap, what is this place? What the hell’s goin on with these mirrors??” He cried out, spinning back to face the other two. Tsukasa frowned, letting go of Haruka and walking closer to the mirrors.

“Do all the mirrors show those weird visions?” he pondered, looking at some of the many on the wall. “I think it’s just one specific mirror for each person,” Akito replied, staring at their surroundings in deep concentration.

“How do you know which one is yours— oh,” Tsukasa stopped in front of a plain mirror. It was around the same size as hers and Akito’s, but barely stood out. “This is mine!?” Tsukasa yelped, “This is not fitting for a future star.”

He looked at himself in the mirror. Haruka could just see his face the same way it was with Akito’s mirror. Tsukasa’s eyes widened. He was silent before turning back around to the two.

“Okay, well, that was something,” he muttered. He cleared his throat, puffing out his chest. “However, fear not! I, as your senior, will find a way out of here for us!”

He started walking away, only for Akito to grab his hand. “Eh? Akito?” The blond stammered. “You can’t just walk off like that idiot, who knows what’s out there,” Akito grumbled, gesturing vaguely in the distance. “But I should go and check first so if there is anything bad it doesn’t get you guys fir— HOLY FISH!!” Tsukasa looked in that direction before screaming.

“IS THAT FREAKING KAGAMINE RIN???” Tsukasa hollered, grabbing onto Akito’s arm with one hand and pointing at a figure in the distance. He squinted, choosing to ignore the actor’s stupid replacement of the swear. “Wh- It’s fucking Kagamine Rin.”

“Language Akito!” Tsukasa chastised as the figure drew closer.

Haruka watched as the lighting revealed the figure to look like Kagamine Rin. There were features of her that looked exactly as Haruka had known and pictured her of, but she didn’t recognize the other weirdly bashed together things on her. She looked like an amalgamation of multiple different styles of Rin.

“Oh, you guys made it!” Rin cheered, picking up the pace and bouncing over to the trio. “That- She- We-“ Tsukasa struggled to find any words to say while Akito stared dumbfounded at the vocaloid in front of them. Haruka was the first to speak actual Japanese to the blonde.

“Excuse me, do you happen to be Kagamine Rin?” Haruka asked, feeling a little stupid for the question. The blonde nodded and smiled, her bows on her intricate outfit bouncing with her, “That’s me~ the one and only!”

“It’s lovely to meet you!” Haruka grinned, shaking Rin’s hand gently.

Tsukasa seemed to figure out what to say and let go of Akito, now standing tall like he wasn’t screaming a minute earlier. “It’s a great pleasure to meet you, Kagamine Rin! I am Ts—“ “Nice to finally meet you in person Tsukasa!” Rin cut him off, curtsying in glee.

“Ah, of course, I have many fans so people are bound to know me! Wait, Kagamine Rin is my fan???” Tsukasa squealed.

Akito rolled his eyes. “No, she probably knows you because this whole place seems to know us.” The ginger gave Rin a smile, of sarcasm or genuine kindness, Haruka couldn’t tell. “I’m Akito, although you clearly know that already. Do you know where we are? And why are we here?”

Rin bubbled with laughter, covering her mouth. “This is your SEKAI, silly!”

The trio shared a look. “Our SEKAI…?”

“Rin, this is their first visit here, they don’t know everything.”

The group turned to see a girl with teal hair tied up into two pigtails. Haruka’s mouth gaped open upon realization.

“Hatsune Miku..?” She whispered.

“Yep, that’s me,” Miku smiled, radiating joy from her expression alone. “Welcome to SEKAI, a world made of your feelings.”

“Woah, woah, wait, this world is made of feelings?” Akito asked slowly, glancing upwards to the mirrors that kept going up and up. Miku nodded. Rin piped up, “It’s you four’s shared feelings!”

Haruka looked down, understanding the presence of all the lights down below. This was here because of her, huh?

“Wait a minute, did you say four?” she questioned, turning back towards the two vocaloids, smiles still on their faces. “Yes! There are four of whom have made this world,” Rin cheered. “It seems the fourth hasn’t been found yet,” Miku pointed out.

“Who is it?” Akito asked, crossing his arms. “And how can we leave?”

“I believe Akiyama Mizuki is the last one,” Miku said, thinking. Akito groaned whereas Tsukasa perked up.

“Ah, another one of my lovely juniors! Of course they helped create this lovely place!” He gushed with pride. “Of course they did,” Akito grunted.

“Akiyama… oh, An’s friend, the fashion extraordinaire. They seem quite nice,” Haruka realized. “Hey, is there some purpose for this SEKAI to be here?”

“Ah, right. SEKAI is here to help you find your true feelings,” Miku explained, eliciting a confused response from the three. “You are all avoiding something, trying not to face something that may be difficult to accept. This world is meant to be something to help you find what that is together.”

“And when you figure that out, your feelings become a song!” Rin added. “Untitled is replaced with a song from the deepest depths of your hearts!”

“A song?” Tsukasa repeated. “How poetic; a song from our feelings!” “As for how to leave,” Miku continued, “you can go whenever, just play untitled again.”

“Wait, how? We didn’t have the phone when we got here!” The actor reasoned. Rin grabbed something out of a pocket on her dress, presenting it to the ginger. “Sorry, I saw it get here and picked it up, I think you guys dropped it.”

“Oh, thank god,” Akito sighed with relief, taking the phone. “Now, lemme ask ya this— why do we need to find our true feelings?”

Miku and Rin went silent, sharing a look. “Well, finding your true feelings is a good thing. It can help improve your life and you can move on from—“

“What if we can’t?”

Akito was glaring daggers at the vocaloids. “What if we can’t find those feelings, what if we can’t accept them? What’s the point?” Miku opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the street performer speaking again. “Sorry, but we’ve got an event to perform at and I don’t have time to think ‘bout my feelings. I’ve got a goal to reach.”

Haruka only just noticed how fragile the vocaloids looked. Beautiful and gorgeous, but so fragile, like a porcelain doll. Their faces looked like they were still holding onto positivity, but any more and they could possibly break.

“Well, you don’t have to immediately. It’s not anything you have to do,” Miku responded, carefully calculating every word. “But, please don’t forget about this. We’re here to help you guys with anything we can, but our main job is to help you discover your true feelings and move forward.”

“Can we really do that?” Haruka asked. Rin gave her a smile, putting her hand over her heart. “Absolutely. It seems like you’re busy, but don’t forget to visit again. Bring Akiyama next time if you can. At the very least, talk to them as soon as possible.”

“Be careful about telling others about this SEKAI though,” Miku warned. “It could be in serious danger if someone were to find out.”

Akito said nothing, just staring down below at the sea of light. He took out his phone, looking for Untitled.

“Yeah yeah, thanks but we’re gonna go,” Akito grumbled. Tsukasa quickly bowed, thanking the vocaloids for their time. Haruka thanked them and waved apologetically. They waved back, still beautiful despite their hurt.

“See you later.”

In a flash of light, the mirror world disappeared, leaving them back on the stage in WEEKEND GARAGE.

“Well, that was certainly unexpected,” Tsukasa said, blinking his eyes. “You can say that again,” Akito sighed. “We’ve got a lot of work to do so we should start.”

“Wait, are we not going to talk about any of that? Just pretend that never happened?” she asked, her voice small.

Tsukasa avoided eye contact with her. Akito tried to glare at her, but his face defaulted to a blank stare.

“We’re not talking about it, there’s no reason to,” Akito said. Haruka opened her mouth to argue but nothing came out. I shouldn’t force it, she thought, it’s his group not mine.

“Alright,” Haruka whispered. “Let’s just talk about it another day,” Tsukasa suggested. Akito nodded absently, getting up and stuffing his phone in his pocket.

“Hey wait, does that mean I passed the audition?” Tsukasa asked, standing up after him. “… I guess so. Ya did pretty well,” Akito shrugged nonchalantly. The smile threatening to break out on his face betrayed his intentions. “Welcome to the group, Tsukasa-senpai.”

“WOO! Of course, a group full of stars now has me! I promise to work hard and not hold you back!” Tsukasa cheered with glee. Haruka smiled, getting up herself. They’d talk later, she promised herself.

“‘Kay, now c’mon, we gotta go recruit Akiyama,” Akito directed, surprising the two as he started heading for the door. “Now??”

“Yes, you guys, now hurry. Let’s go ask An about them.”

…

“You in a group with Tenma!? Hah, what happened to following your morals, dude!” Mizuki laughed, earning a sigh from the ginger.

“I’m not abandoning my morals, stupid, I’ve just got more important priorities,” he corrected. “And stop being so loud, we’re in public.” Mizuki playfully raised an eyebrow.

“What, you embarrassed?” They teased. Akito sipped his coffee, promptly ignoring the suggestion.

“Anyways so, I know you said you’re in a group and stuff, but what’s the purpose of this top secret meeting?”

“Well, there’s some things we’ll have to discuss more in private, but we were wondering if you’d like to join our group for an event called Color Pop Explosion,” Haruka explained. She took a sip of her green tea as Mizuki stared at the three in shock.

“Wait, you guys are going to perform at the CPopExplo!? Stop surprising me every few sentences, my heart can’t take it,” Mizuki gasped, sipping on their latte. “That’s a pretty competitive event.” “And we’re going to win it! One step closer to stardom!” Tsukasa grinned, pumping his fist.

“Yeah, yeah, like he said, we’re winning that event,” Akito added on, “which is where you come in.”

Mizuki gasped dramatically. “You need me to win? I didn’t expect you to have so much faith in me, bro!”

“No, dammit, you’re not the only one doing this. We’re working as a team to get up there and win, but we need your help with making outfits, and if you’re up for it, being the fourth performer,” he explained, pointing at them to emphasize their role.

“Oo, how interesting~” Mizuki considered, feigning deep thought. “I’m not sure!”

“I can’t believe she suggested them of all people to us,” Akito muttered, his eyes twitching. “Someone suggested that I join your group~? Who?” Mizuki asked in curiosity.

“No one! Er, well, it was someone, but you don’t know them!!!” Tsukasa interrupted. Mizuki frowned. “Then how do they know me?”

“Sorry, Tsukasa was thinking of someone else that didn’t know her, we actually talked to An,” Haruka responded, watching Akito and Tsukasa staring at her in a silent, relieved ‘thank you’. “She was telling us about you and your talents,” she said, barely even stretching the truth.

Mizuki blinked, and their grin returned immediately. “Oh, An! Hehe, good to know she can leave a good review of me.”

“Akiyama, your skills are truly impressive. I’ve only seen and heard so much, but with that I can tell you’re passionate about your work. I believe that you can go even further, and this event would be great for that. I know you can make it, so it would mean so much to me, to us, for you to join our group.” Haruka gripped her tea, staring at them with such determination in her eyes. Mizuki faltered. They took another sip of their drink before resting their head on their hands, a grin spreading across their face.

“Alright, alright, since you’re begging, might as well! Your outfits won’t be anything without me. Consider me in!”

Haruka returned their smile gratefully. “Thank you, Akiyama. We won’t disappoint you,” she giggled.

…

“What if we added a spin here?” Haruka suggested, demonstrating her idea.

Akito watched, nodding in careful consideration. Tsukasa followed her demonstration, spinning double. “Eh~? You move so easily, Haruka~” Mizuki drawled, trying to follow her themself. “That’s an idol for you, hm!”

Haruka blushed, waving off the comment, “It’s just the results of a bunch of practice, nothing special.” “Ah, what a true idol! Your modesty is one to strive for, Haruka!” Tsukasa gushed in admiration.

“Yo, Tsukasa-senpai, keep that energy you had in the chorus, that looked good,” Akito said. The blond stared at him in what looked like shock for a second before beaming so brightly anyone could’ve gone blind. “Why thank you, a star has to fulfill what is asked of their role!” the actor grinned proudly.

“But your spacial awareness is terrible,” Akito continued, glaring at him. “Haruka, you need to let your movements be more expressive so your movements impact the audience more. Akiyama, you need to stop making up your own moves mid dance and get the choreography down.” His expression tightened. “We have a bit over two months of preparation time, and we can’t waste any of it. Let’s go through the songs we decided on again.”

Haruka nodded, getting into position. They’d been practicing everyday from after school till late at night since Mizuki joined the group. They were all slowly getting to know each other better and get a grasp of how they perform together. Akito had been directing them, getting the group ready and practicing tirelessly himself. She was pretty sure he was even staying after their late practice sessions to get more solo work in. The former idol decided to also work tirelessly to prepare to be on stage once again, not wanting to make Akito work harder to cover for her failures like last time. She couldn’t say she did as much as he did though.

Song after song, Haruka found that all the members of the group, while immensely different, could easily mesh together to make their performances feel genuine and be executed beautifully. Her heart soared being next to them on stage, feeling the rush of singing with people with amazing skills.

“You’re amazing, Kiritani,” Mizuki praised, sitting down next to Haruka while she was taking a break. “I can’t believe someone can be so cute and so gifted!” “Ah, I’m flattered,” Haruka replied bashfully. “But don’t forget to praise yourself. Your outfit sketches for the group were gorgeous! And your voice is lovely, it can be very powerful or just angelic.”

“Hehe, you’re gonna make me blush Kiritani!” Mizuki smiled. “Call me Haruka, Akiyama. Tsukasa and Akito already do by now,” Haruka offered, taking a sip of her water. “Same for you then, call me Mizuki,” they replied, finger on their cheek as they gave the blue haired girl a wink. “Deal,” Haruka smiled.

“You know, this is really cool,” Mizuki said, leaning back on their arms. “Singing and dancing with people, even Akito, is fun. I never thought I’d be singing this often, but it’s fantastic. Working on our costumes at home has been a blast too! I haven’t been able to have other people wear my stuff until now, you have no idea how great it is.” They looked at Haruka, practically beaming at this point. ”Thank you for this.”

“No need to thank me,” Haruka reassured, “I’m so glad though. Performing is such a unique way to express yourself and your love for something.”

Mizuki nodded in agreement. “Definitely. It’s nice being looked at for my talents for a change instead of who I am.” The former idol could empathize with that, finding it difficult to get around without people recognizing her as the idol who mysteriously quit. Even her classmates would only treat her as a celebrity more than anything. She greatly appreciated the people currently around her who looked at her as more than who she was and her previous status of fame.

She knew that Mizuki stood out. She was quite aware of this since she first met them. Their choice in clothing was a lot different from what the general public wore. Their hair stood out in a crowd so much that you would probably never lose sight of them. Haruka could see how this gained them so much unwanted attention, judging eyes boring into them wherever they would go.

But those qualities truly allowed them to shine, and Haruka couldn’t help herself from smiling.

“Keep doing what you’re doing, Mizuki.”

The pink haired kid’s face softened.

“Will do.”

…

“You guys ready?” Akito asked, tying his shoes. The three nodded, finishing adjusting their outfits. “Absolutely! Wow, Mizuki, this outfit is superb!” Akito grumbled at Tsukasa’s use of the word superb, and despite this, Tsukasa continued to sing praise for the outfits ‘worthy of a star’.

Haruka held onto her hat, appreciating the care and craftsmanship put into it, and looked out at the crowd of the new venue where they were to do their first performance as a full group. The stage was a lot bigger, around twice the size of the one in the back of WEEKEND GARAGE. Haruka gulped; the size of the crowd was even more than twice the size of the last show. Even more people she could mess up in front of and ruin their experience as well as her friend’s hard work.

“You can do this, Haruka,” Tsukasa grinned, putting an arm around her shoulder, interrupting her worries. “We’re going to shine so brightly on that stage that the stars will pale in comparison!!” The blue haired girl chuckled, following his free hand gesturing out into some unforeseeable distance. “Hell yeah we will!” Mizuki agreed, shooting finger guns at Tsukasa.

The crowd screamed, loudly applauding for the group currently on stage. They walked off, signaling their turn to go up there. “Let’s do this,” Akito said, walking onto the stage in confidence. Tsukasa happily followed suit, getting into the starting position. Haruka took a deep breath in, and let it out. Mizuki looked back, giving her a smile that said ‘You’re going to be okay’. Haruka took that gratefully and followed them onto the stage.

The lights went onto them, shining into Haruka’s eyes. She made sure to look away from the audience, for she knew that she would freeze up if she did.

Tsukasa started singing, his voice carrying a lovely melody. He was so into his role, so convincingly emotional that you would think the song was written by him. She adored the way he sparkled no matter how many lights were on him.

Mizuki came in after him, their charisma and charm shining through as they controlled their voice beautifully. It was crazy how they’d never been on a stage in front of an audience until now. They could make the whole audience fall in love on the spot.

Akito followed shortly, his voice powerfully reverberating through the room. His voice had a way of moving you and you could tell he always put his everything into every single note sung. Akito was not one to give up on anything once he set his mind on it and throughout all of the song he maintained that intent to leave the crowd speechless.

Despite Akito and herself playing a more supportive role in this song, she decided to put everything she could into her performance just like her partner. She couldn’t stop the grin making its way onto her face at the way they worked together, feeling invigorated with every harmony they sang together.

She could almost forget about her fears. There wasn’t an audience looking, just four dedicated performers coming together to sing their hearts out.

Almost. That didn’t mean her legs weren’t shaking anymore, as they very much were.

The song stopped, finally letting the former idol exhale in relief. The sweat dripping down her forehead was worth it for the cheers of the crowd. They bowed and walked off, giddy with adrenaline from the dance.

“Haha! We did so well!” Tsukasa exclaimed, proudly lifting his head up. “Hehe, what a rush!” Mizuki agreed, clapping in excitement. The two bounced up and down together, complimenting each other on a job well done. Nonetheless, they deserved to be proud for doing so well.

Haruka thought back to the mirror SEKAI. They found it for the first time weeks ago and hadn’t talked about it since. Hell, they hadn’t even mentioned it to Mizuki at all.

Miku and Rin had promised their assistance in accepting their problems and moving forward; Could they really do that? And if they all shared that world made of their feelings, then were her friends struggling with similar issues as her? Looking at her friends, she knew she wanted them to be happy, for them to conquer their issues. And she herself needs to move on from her failures in ASRUN. She can’t keep having nightmares with Mai, blaming her for everything.

Haruka looked at Akito, spotting a small smile on his face as he observed the two celebrating.

“Hey Akito,” she started, “you remember that world with Miku and Rin right?” Akito’s smile disappeared, green eyes unreadable as they stared into blue. “..Yeah, that nightmare of a world.” He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. “We said we weren’t gonna talk about it.”

“Well, yes, but it’s been some time. We needed to talk about it eventually,” Haruka explained, holding onto her hands tightly. “I think it would be good for us to go back with Mizuki this time. That world has to be there for a reason, and wouldn’t it be better if we were more at peace with ourselves to go to CPopExplo?” Akito looked down at the ground, his eyebrows furrowing. “We’ve already made it this far, we can’t waste time like that when it’s weeks away.”

“We’ve put a lot of practice and effort in, we should take Miku up on her offer and slow down on the practices, we shouldn’t overwork ourselves” Haruka offered, gently putting her hand on Akito’s shoulder. He shoved it off.

“We’re not overworking; we’re not working hard enough,” Akito said bitterly. “I won’t stop for anything until we’re the best.”

“Akito, I just thi–” the former idol tried to reason but Akito lashed out, cutting her off. “No! We are not going to that stupid SEKAI to see those stupid mirrors. We’re not seeing those stupid vocaloids, and we’re not talking about our stupid problems!” furiously, Akito balled his hands into fists. At this point, their voices had attracted the attention of Tsukasa and Mizuki.

“SEKAI…?” Mizuki asked, pure confusion on their face. Tsukasa paled. “Mizuki, we can explain, but let’s talk somewhere el–” “We have a whole ass world supposedly made of our feelings in our phone where Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Rin convince us that there’s something wrong with us. There, now they know.” Akito voiced indignantly, interrupting once again.

“We’re getting better, but we’re not good enough. We can’t just drop our practice time to go and ‘get therapy with Miku’. Do you really want to get better and help, or are you just here to stop feeling guilty for Mai quitting?” Aktio spat, glaring daggers at the former idol frozen in place, her legs shaking like all those months ago.

“Akito, stop it,” Tsukasa tried to call out, but Akito wouldn’t listen. “Why are you so desperate to rely on others to get past your mistakes? To take some easy way out because you can’t realize that it’s not your fault on your own? You’re not here for the right reasons. You’re here for your own selfish gain.” He clicked his teeth. “You’re weak, Kiritani Haruka.”

“I’m… I’m weak?” Haruka repeated, eyes widened in shock. She inhaled with a shaky breath. “I’m here because I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. I hate not working, but I’ve been trying my best to slow down and the same should be for you. It’s dangerous.”

“Stop lying, Kiritani. I’m done with your bullshit! You don’t care about this event, you don’t care about practicing for it, you don’t want to get better, you just want to feel less at fault so you can perform like nothing happened. You’re pathetic!” Akito yelled. Silence engulfed the entire room as Haruka’s heart sank to her stomach. The street performer turned around, bursting out through the door. “Akito! Wait!” Tsukasa called out, trying to follow after him. Haruka could only stand staring at the boys leaving, still shaking furiously.

“Haruka…?” Mizuki whispered. Haruka looked down, watching drops of water land on the ground. Her nails dug into her skin and she suppressed a yelp of pain. Everything hurt, she felt dizzy, her vision was blurry. It was akin to those sleepless nights where she’d cry and try to get through eating nothing. She just wanted to go home.

Home…

Without a word, Haruka ran off through the other door, ignoring Mizuki calling out for her.

…

For days, Haruka stayed home. She didn’t go to school. Tsukasa had called to ask if she wanted Saki to bring her the work she’d been missing, but she declined. She appreciated his attempt to help and check in on her.

Every morning she’d wake up with Akito’s words swirling in her exhausted head. She’d gotten used to waking up early, but now it was worse to be up longer. She had more time to think about his words and let that chorus of guilty cries flood her mind.

She knew he had a point. It felt selfish to have agreed to help him when her main motivation was to get back on stage again. It’s not like she didn’t put her all into practice and performances or that she didn’t want him to succeed, but she didn’t have the purest intentions to just help a fellow artist win an event so important to him. The offer Miku put out there was a sliver of hope she wanted to hold onto.

Color Pop Explosion was very important for Akito and she wanted to help him with reaching his unannounced goal.

Her eyes landed on her phone sitting on her bedside table. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pay them a visit on her own.

…

“Haruka!” Rin greeted, rushing towards the explosion of light. “You made it! Where’s everyone else?”

“Oh, no, it’s just me,” Haruka explained, offering a sad smile to the blonde. Her face dropped. “Oh, I see. What are you here for?”

Haruka looked around, glancing at the mirrors. “I’m just trying to figure out what to do,” she admitted. She explained the fight from a few days ago, Rin nodding in response every few sentences. Her eyes widened as she realized something.

“So this fight must have been the cause of the cracks,” Rin muttered. “Cracks?” At Haruka’s confusion, Rin grabbed her hand and led her over to the big mirrors. In front of them, four of the bigger mirrors had started to crack, some shards on the ground in front of them. The blue haired girl gasped, biting the inside of her mouth looking at the mirrors, including the one she saw herself in.

“Oh no, what have I done…?” she muttered, watching the mirror slowly gain more and more tiny cracks. Akito’s in specific moving at the fastest rate. A mirror in the shape of a heart, assumed to be Mizuki’s, started glowing, garnering her attention. Before the two appeared the inside of a room, decorated in different furniture and decorations in different shades of pink. A person with a side ponytail paced the room, sketching different things on paper and pinning things to a mannequin.

“Mizuki..!” Haruka shouted, regret immediately hitting her as she saw the face of her unit member. She felt horrible running away from them at the last venue and needed to apologize for that. They were only trying to help her anyway. They didn’t even know about the SEKAI until then.

“Geez, Haruka,” they mumbled, scratching something off on the paper. “Going off leaving us on our own. Leaving me with a pissy face Akito. Well, more like Tsukasa is stuck with a pissy face Akito.” They poked their finger with a pin, wincing slightly. “Ouch. Sigh, maybe I should go to practice instead of ditching again. It’s not like it’s really her fault. Maybe Akito is better now.” They laughed half heartedly to themself and Haruka could feel her heart shatter at the sound. “Who am I kidding? I'd only make it worse going back there.”

The mirror glowed, and Haruka faced her own reflection once again. “What was that?”

“That mirror is connected to the mirror in their room, just like yours and the others’. You were just seeing them in real time through their mirror,” Rin clarified, messing with the lace on her dress. Haruka looked at the plain mirror that had given Tsukasa his vision. It started glowing, and revealed him to be pacing around his room.

“Urhhh… that’s not it!” He sighed, head down. “It needs to be brighter and more energetic. Akito is expecting the best and I won’t give him any less!”

He stopped, looking in Haruka's direction. She froze, wondering if he saw her. “Maybe I should visit them at SEKAI, maybe they’ll know how to get everyone back together,” he said to himself, apparently not noticing one of his group members watching his monologue through a mirror. “As a future star, I should already be able to do this. I feel almost helpless,” he said, voice now at a whisper. With that, the mirror lit up, and the blond was gone.

“Your group really has been split up, hm?”

Haruka nodded dejectedly. “I don’t know what to do to make it better.” Rin looked at her, thinking. She pointed. “Hey, Akito’s is glowing now.”

The two turned their attention to the blob mirror, peering inside to see Akito finishing a choreography. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands in exasperation. “Dammit, why can’t I get that right? I should stop…” he hesitated before shaking his head, pushing his hair out of his face. “No, I can’t stop. I need to be perfect. Again.”

The music restarted and Akito moved as best as he could despite the clear fatigue he was experiencing. Haruka knew exactly what that felt like. Even after quitting, she’d tried to keep practicing any moment she had. But she knew that wasn’t good for her and definitely wasn’t going to be good for the boy who continued to move on wobbly legs. He was going to get hurt, and it would be her fault. In the end, she couldn’t prevent this from happening again.

Rin put a hand on her shoulder. “I caused this..” Haruka cried to no one in particular. “It’s not too late to do something.” The former idol looked up, tears welling up in her eyes. The vocaloid gently wiped them away, giving her a smile. “You understand the feeling better than anyone else, Haruka. You will figure out a way to reach him. To reach all of them.”

Tears came falling down despite Rin just wiping them away. “How?” the former idol asked, her voice cracking. “I’ve failed them all because of my selfishness.”

“Haruka, performing is a beautiful thing, you are completely justified in wanting to go back to it. Your heart is in the right place, that can’t be called selfishness,” Rin reassured, squeezing Haruka’s hands encouragingly. It felt like the time Tsukasa had done the same here.

“You’re weak, Kiritani Haruka.”

She was tired of being weak. What kind of idol would she be if she didn’t give hope to others and instead hid away from her problems?

“Thank you, Rin. We’ll be back, I promise,” she gushed in determination, wiping some more stray tears and giving the blonde a hug.

“You’re strong! But I know you’ll always get stronger after any setback.”

Rin watched Haruka disappear in a flurry of color, waving even once her figure was completely gone.

“Rin..? Can I talk to you?” A voice called out. The blonde turned around to face the direction of the sound, smiling kindly.

“Of course! Come over.”

…

“Heya Haruka! How’re the gigs treating ya?” An greeted as her friend walked into WEEKEND GARAGE. “Hello, An,” Haruka replied melancholically, starting An’s worry.

“Not great?” she asked, topping whipped cream onto a sundae. Haruka almost asked for one, but caught herself, and ordered green tea instead. “No, it’s been a disaster,” the former idol admitted, resting her head in her hands. “Basically Akito and I got in a fight, and now our group is falling apart because of it.”

“Akito fought with you? About what?” An put aside the order she was working on, concern tugging her eyebrows down. Haruka opened her mouth to speak but remembered there were limits to what she could say.

“Be careful about telling others about this SEKAI though. It could be in serious danger if someone were to find out.”

“Akito’s been overworking himself for CPopExplo, so I tried to talk to him about it. He seemed to be on edge about something and lashed out at me, telling me that I’m not here for the right reasons,” she explained, leaving out what she could. An listened carefully.

“I see.. He’s always been one to do everything to achieve something he’s set his mind on, so it makes sense. But you’d think he’d understand your situation. He can be empathetic, despite how he comes off,” An trailed off. She continued to work on the order she put aside, deep in thought.

“You should try talking to him again. Some point where he’s more relaxed and can think clearly. He’s a bit of an ass, but that sounds like it went too far, even for him.” Haruka nodded slowly and added, “Mizuki’s been staying away from everyone since that fight too, apparently.”

“Really?” An gasped. She let out a sigh, her eyebrows creased, clearly troubled. “They haven’t done that in a long time, you should really check on them. Here’s your tea.”

Haruka thanked her, blowing on the steaming cup. “I think I will. Do you know where their house is?” An took out a sticky note and scribbled an address onto it, giving it to Haruka.

“You got this, Haruka. I believe in you.”

Haruka couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you, An.”

…

“Who is it?”

“It’s Haruka.”

There was a minute of silence before the door opened, revealing Mizuki behind it. “What are you doing here?” They asked, eyes wide. “I need to talk to you,” Haruka answered. They looked at her for a second as if wondering if they should let her in.

“Come inside.”

Their room was just what it was like in the mirror SEKAI, covered in cute items and fabric laying around. An outfit was on the mannequin, the one they were currently working on in the mirror, Haruka guessed. She cautiously followed Mizuki inside, the cloud of silence almost suffocating.

“So..” she started, “I heard you’ve skipped practice lately.” Mizuki sat back at their desk, messing with some stuff Haruka couldn’t make out. They let out an empty laugh.

“Look who’s talking,” they retorted, pulling out a sketch pad and scratching things out. “How’d you know?” Haruka asked, taken off guard.

Mizuki shook their phone in their hand, not looking up from their work. “Tsukasa’s been calling me.” They stood up, walking towards the mannequin that Haruka was standing next to. “Seems like he’s been with Akito every day. Dude’s pretty pissed.”

“Ah, right...” Haruka muttered, holding her hands together. “Is there a reason you’ve been skipping practice?”

Mizuki froze in place. They continued sewing something onto the skirt, staying quiet.

“…Besides the obvious ‘you guys had a fight’, not really,” Mizuki forced out, still avoiding eye contact. There was silence, both staying still.

“Okay, I need to know. What was that sekai thing Akito mentioned? Why did everyone know but me?” Mizuki asked, finally looking up at the blue haired girl. Haruka froze, staring back at familiar coral eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mizuki. We were going to tell you but we barely talked about it ourselves. We had you join because Miku had told us about you being the final member and so we decided to find you and– I’m sorry it’s a whole lot to explai-” “It’s alright, don’t bother then,” Mizuki cut her off.

“I thought I found somewhere I could fit in,” they muttered, barely audible. The designer stared at their unfinished outfit, unmoving. They didn’t touch it. “I felt like I belonged. That doesn’t happen very much, considering most people just stare at me like I’m an alien when I’m just existing. You, Tsukasa, even Akito all didn’t care about such things. You just wanted to be with me for me; my talents, my skills, my charms– me. That’s what I thought.

How am I supposed to feel when that safe, loving space has been destroyed? You guys fought and in the blink of an eye that was all gone. Not like I could do anything about it; Nah, I’d just make it worse. And of course, in the end it seems you didn’t really want me for me. Guess Hatsune Miku herself just had to assign some loner to you so you could do your group project.”

Mizuki turned to look down, their face hidden from Haruka. Even so, the hurt in their voice and the shaking of their shoulders gave away just how they felt. And it scared Haruka. Terrified her as she watched someone dear to her shaking in anguish over something she caused. The lovely Akiyama Mizuki, the one who always had a smile on their face, the one who wouldn’t even bother crying over strangers' disapproving comments, was now on the brink of tears in front of her.

She couldn’t let this end the same way everything else had.

A tear dropped onto Mizuki’s hand, currently in a fist on top of their thigh. Another tear fell. The drop fell onto a different hand, gently holding onto theirs.

“...Huh?” The fashionista looked up, looking into a mesmerizing sea of blue. They were now face to face with Haruka, kneeling in front of them. Her eyes were tired. Her hands shook even as she took their hands into hers. Despite the shaking, she squeezed their hand.

“You know, as an idol, my motto was to give everyone hope for a better tomorrow. But the more and more my career went on, the more I realized I couldn’t do that,” she whispered, not letting go of Mizuki’s hands. “Ever since I left, I’ve been trying and failing to give people that hope I spoke so highly of. Clearly, even now, I haven’t succeeded at it.”

Mizuki looked at Haruka, confusion in their face. Nonetheless, they waited for her to continue. She looked down at their hands.

“Hope is the way people keep going forward even with their issues. They take what they’ve been given from others and pass it on. It’s a cycle. People support others and they all grow stronger.” She slowly intertwined their hands. The blue came back to look at coral. “I’ve missed that all along. So it’s my job to give that hope to you, especially after this.”

Mizuki broke eye contact, staring at their linked hands. “...What are you…?”

“Mizuki, ever since we first talked, I knew you were something special. And I was so right; I've never seen such amazing designs, I’ve never heard a voice like yours, I’ve never met someone like you. But I’m so glad I have. This group isn’t complete without you and I’m so sorry that I made you think otherwise. Mizuki… I’d love you to stay by my side.. No.. our side and sing with us, from the smallest stage hidden from view to the biggest one where everyone can see.

I need you, Mizuki Akiyama.”

Said person’s mouth stayed wide open, unable to voice anything in their head. They just stared at the goddess in front of them in pure shock. Haruka looked at them with a spark of determination swirling around in that sea of blue, the same one she had weeks prior. The same one that made her absolutely ethereal.

“...Are you sure?” Mizuki squeaked out, uncharacteristically quiet. The former idol nodded, offering a kind smile. Their eyes moved between Haruka’s face and their intertwined hands, thinking hard.

“Hmm, guess you really couldn’t get enough of me, eh?”

Mizuki leaned their head forward, touching Haruka’s. “Of course I’ll stay by your side.”

Haruka sighed in relief, beaming at the pink haired kid in front of her. “Thank you, Mizuki! Thank you so much!”

They moved away from each other, the tension in the room dissipating quickly. Haruka felt like she could breathe again. Before she could say anything else, Mizuki spoke up.

“But, you really gotta inform me on that sekai stuff. I’m so confused,” they asked. Haruka nodded. “Right, of course. I think we’ll do that, but we need to talk to Akito first. We'll explain and go visit once everything is settled, okay?”

“You’re going to talk to Akito?” They repeated. “Are you sure he’s gonna listen?”

“I have to reach him, no matter what,” the former idol said. Mizuki smiled fondly at the girl, letting themselves laugh under their breath.

‘She never truly quit being an idol. She’s always been one.’

////////

Tsukasa ran from his house, searching for the address he’d been given days ago. He was grateful for An’s kindness in giving him Akito’s address for group work. He hadn’t actually gone to visit him yet, but now it really came in handy.

He slowed down on the sidewalk in front of a mass of houses. He scanned each number carefully, until he finally recognized the Shinonome estate.

Walking up to the doorstep, he quickly rapped on the door. The blond stood there for a few minutes, tapping his fingers impatiently.

The door opened to reveal a brunette girl Tsukasa had never seen before.

“Hello! Is Akito here?” he asked politely. The girl’s expression stayed calculating, looking at him suspiciously. Finally she made eye contact with him, relaxing slightly.

“Are you the guy in his group that he talks about all the time?” She questioned, crossing her arms. Her mannerisms were quite similar to Akito’s, Tsukasa had to restrain himself from giggling.

“Er, yes, I’m in his group! I’m not sure if he talks about me, but I sing with him. I’m Tenma Tsukasa, lovely meeting you!” He puffed out his chest, offering a hand to the girl.

Her straight face shifted to a grin, laughing as she shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Tenma. Thanks for dealing with my brother's shit.”

“It’s no problem at all, erm…., um?” He trailed off. “It’s Ena. Shinonome Ena, his older sister.”

“Ah! Lovely meeting you, Shinonome!”

“Just call me Ena,” she clarified, turning back inside the house. “AKITO! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR. Sorry he couldn’t answer the door for you himself, he’s been moping about who knows what lately.”

“Ah, I see.” Tsukasa waited awkwardly as he searched for his favorite mop of red hair inside.

“I heard ya, you don’t hafta shout, stupid,” Akito grumbled, appearing at the bottom of the staircase. He froze upon seeing his group member, who waved at him, a sincere smile on his lips.

“Tsukasa..” he trailed off. Ena’s expression softened, backing away from the door. “I’ll leave you guys alone.”

Akito didn’t look as she walked back to her room. Tsukasa gently grabbed his hand.

“We really need to talk, Akito,” he said. The ginger pulled his hand away, finally looking the blonde in the eyes. “We’ve talked all week. What else needs to be said?”

“Everything, Aki!” Tsukasa exclaimed, his voice stinging from the hurt felt at Akitos avoidance. “You’ve barely talked to me despite my attempts, much less anyone else, and we’re running out of time. Please, we need to talk— for real.”

Akito’s hand gripped the door knob, itching to slam it closed, but Tsukasa’s unusually pained appearance made him hesitate.

“Alright. Come inside, let’s go to my room.”

Akito allowed the blonde to sit on his bed. He sat down, the bed slightly bouncing underneath him. Akito stood in front of him, almost like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“You can be on the bed with me, you know; it’s yours anyways,” Tsukasa pointed out.

“You make it sound weird,” Akito mumbled, hesitantly sitting next to him on the mattress. The two sat in silence, silence Tsukasa was dying to break. He glanced at the mirror in the redhead’s room, wondering if Rin and Miku were watching from SEKAI.

“Aki, you’ve been overworking yourself,” Tsukasa started. The boy in question looked as if he wanted to argue, but allowed him to continue. “I know you’ve always worked hard, I’ve heard from Toya and An, and I’ve seen it for myself. In all honesty, I started staying back late to watch you practice on your own.”

Akito flushed at that, eyes widening and coughing like he choked on something. “You’ve been watching me?!”

“Now you’re the one who’s making words sound weird,” Tsukasa giggled, smiling at him. “Sorry about that though, I just couldn’t seem to look away. You put everything into all you do— it’s hypnotizing.

Even so, I can see just how much you work. While hard work is always respectable and important, you go to the extent that you neglect taking care of yourself. You need to stop that— You’re going to collapse on stage at some point if you keep this up. Especially after the fight with Haruka, you’ve been even worse at taking care of yourself.”

“You don’t get it, Kasa. I need to do this to prove myself, and I’ll do that with or without other people. There’s no time for me to stop or slow down! I can’t fall behind, I just can’t,” Akito said, his voice breaking as he gripped onto his sheets.

“Prove yourself?” Tsukasa echoed after what felt like hours of silence. “Prove yourself to who?”

“To everyone! To my rivals, to the world… to my dad,” Akito inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m not naturally ‘talented’, unlike my sister or my dad. There’s nothing about me that stands out among the talented. That just means I gotta reach them… reach you… and I will do everything to get there.”

Akito looked at Tsukasa, who was staring at him with the utmost attention, letting his words sink in. “Maybe I was too hard on Haruka. She’s not weak… I… I am. Dammit, dammit, dammit why can’t I get this right?! What am I supposed to do!? I-“

“Aki, breathe,” Tsukasa stated firmly, his hands gently holding on to his teammates' hands, both carrying a sense of comfort.

Akito took a deep breath, squeezing Tsukasa’s hands. Tsukasa squeezed back.

“I didn’t know you had all that pressure on you,” he whispered, softly rubbing his thumbs over Akito’s palms. Akito just nodded, keeping his eyes down.

A few seconds of silence.

“You know, I went to see the vocaloids earlier,” the blonde admitted. Akito visibly stiffened.

“…What did you do?” he asked, making eye contact.

“I talked to them. Told them what was going on and how I felt.” Tsukasa waited for Akito to get upset, but it never happened. He continued.

“They were helpful. That place isn’t so bad, they’re very understanding. I know you’ve been against going there, but they seem to know us best and can help with solving our issues. You don’t have to, but I think we really should all talk about it. All four of us. It’s our SEKAI after all.”

Akito stayed silent. His green eyes fell back down to their intertwined hands.

Wordlessly, his head fell onto Tsukasa’s shoulder. Tsukasa internally panicked, trying not to scream at a time where he was sure the ginger would definitely not appreciate it.

“I really messed up, Kasa. I shouldn’t have lashed out at Haruka.”

“Well, we’ve got time to fix it. Obviously, not all the time in the world since it’s already June, but it’s not completely hopeless!”

“Real optimistic, idiot,” the street performer grumbled without venom. Tsukasa laughed, “Thank you, I try!”

Akito lifted his head off the actor’s shoulder. “I need to talk to her immediately. Shit, how do I find her?”

He stood up, pacing around the room. Tsukasa stood up with excitement. “I think I may know where she is. Or where she’ll be soon at least.”

“Alright, let’s go find her,” Akito nodded, throwing on a jacket.

“Um, Kasa,” he added, stopping at his door frame, shifting his weight from leg to leg. “Thank you. For everything. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad I met you.”

Tsukasa grinned, his ears turning red from what he used to think of as the coldest guy he’d ever met. Underneath all the spikes was a caring boy just trying to prove his worth.

“I’m glad I met you too, Aki. I know it’s hard to change your view of yourself, but just know that I think you’re more than good enough,” the blonde said, eyes sparkling with sincerity.

Akito stared at him for a moment, the two just standing there unmoving. Before Tsukasa could ask why they weren’t leaving, Akito planted a brief kiss on Tsukasa’s lips.

The blonde could only stand there with wide eyes, the feeling of the kiss lingering and sending his heart racing.

“Um, okay, let’s go quickly,” Akito stammered, leaving the room with godly speed. Tsukasa watched him before absolutely beaming. The warmth he felt stayed with him even as he went down the stairs.

Tsukasa followed Akito, running in the direction of WEEKEND GARAGE, where they were determined to make everything right.

////////

They say you’re never supposed to turn your back on the ocean.

Its sheer force can slam onto you, pulling you far away from the shore. If you’re not careful, you can be knocked down and dragged into its beautiful depths.

As an idol, Haruka always had to be aware of this. The sea of light sticks by adoring fans would never be able to take off the stage. They could only see what she presented herself as when in the spotlight.

Thus, she couldn’t afford to appear as anything less than perfect. Any failures as she’d be pulled by society’s waves to never return. So, everyday was practice, practice, practice. Again and again until she’d be able to look at her reflection and be unable to point out a single flaw.

Even if she felt like her entire self was a flaw.

“Ah, Haru, slow down!” Mizuki cried out, trying to catch up to the former idol, her figure glowing under the rising moonlight. “Geez, she’s pretty damn fast..”

Haruka kept going, heading straight for the door. With the ring of the bell, her arrival had been announced. She held the door open for her friend and the two stepped inside.

“Mizuki! Haruka! You’re back! Looks like you’ve made up. Although, it’s kinda late right now, dontcha think?” An greeted, standing upright by the table she was cleaning.

“Eh~, I’m pretty used to staying up late. Plus, if it’s Haruka at my door, I’d open it for her no matter how late it is!” Mizuki replied, a bounce in their step. Haruka felt butterflies swarm in her stomach as they winked at her.

“Um, is Akito here?” Haruka asked, wringing her hands in anticipation.

An’s expression dropped a little. “You haven’t talked to him yet, huh?” she sighed, moving to pick up empty plates from the table over. “I’d been hoping you’d seen him. He still hasn’t showed up here for a while. Well through the front entrance at least. He’s probably going through the back, but that idiot hasn’t even said hi to me in a whole week.”

Haruka exhaled, sitting down in defeat. “I’m sorry about that, An,” she said, messing with her skirt. “Urgh, maybe this is a sign. Maybe I can’t do anything by talking to him.”

An opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of the bell at the door ringing out.

“Haruka!”

The three looked to the door to find Akito and Tsukasa, breathing heavily as they recovered from running. The whites of Haruka’s eyes became a lot more visible, shocked as she stared at the boys in front of her.

“Akito…!”

Silence filled the room, a buzz of expectation and unspoken words overflowing in the small cafe. The moonlight pooled in through the windows and illuminated the darkened shop.

“I’m sorry.”

The two spoke at once, the same exact words coming from two sides of the same coin. The overworked, exhausted pair looked at each other, weakly smiling at each other.

Haruka stood up, now face to face with Akito. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, an overwhelming pot of emotions brewing in her heart– and yet the words were caught in her throat, unable to surface.

In Akito’s face she saw all those she’d failed, all staring back at her. All her fans, her former idol group, Mai. Mai. MAI. He had her eyes. Those hurt, disappointed eyes.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

All those months ago, she’d made the mistake of turning her back. Just enough that she was thrown down, now floating out away from the people she needed to be there for. As she drifted away, all this time she’d known that Mai held that same hurt expression. The resentment. It was all clear on her face.

Despite that, Haruka never tried to look further into her eyes as she was taken away by the waves. The sea of green in her partner’s eyes held the same pain, she knew that for sure. But it seemed she’d forgotten the disappointment her partner had for herself, hidden among the frustration towards the former idol.

That same look was back on a similar face.

“I never should’ve lashed out at you,” Akito apologized, his breath shaky. “You don’t owe it to me to perform with me. You offered to help for a different reason than me, yes, but that doesn’t make it any less acceptable. We’re not all going to have the same motivations but the important thing is that we work together to make it up on that big stage. You’re not the weak one, I am. If I just–”

“Woah, slow down, Akito,” Haruka said gently, grabbing onto Akito’s shoulders. He stopped talking, looking expectantly at the blue haired girl. The former idol laughed fondly. “You remind me so much of her.”

“Her? …Mai?” he asked. Haruka nodded. “So I’m not about to let myself fail you like I did her. Akito, don’t beat yourself up for not reaching your own high standards, because those standards are insanely hard to reach. Cut yourself some slack and take care of yourself, because being the perfect person is not what performing is about. It’s about showing who you really are, and allowing both your highs and lows to shine through and display how you’ve made it this far. I know how much this show means to you,” Haruka grabbed his hands, “so all you have to do is put all your heart and soul into it.”

The performer stared at Haruka, his green eyes shimmering with a glint of hope. The way Mai once had.

“That being said, I understand your frustration with me helping you for my own benefit, and to be truthful, a lot of this is about allowing myself to perform again. But I know that it’s selfish. So, to fix my mistakes and to propel you to the heights you want to reach,

I’ll be stepping down from our group.”

A grim silence fell upon the restaurant. Haruka let go of Akito’s hands.

“...What?”

“HUH!?”

“Wait, Haru, you can’t be serious!”

“Haruka, no..!”

Haruka looked at her soon-to-be-former group in front of her. She smiled with pride. “Look at you guys. Up and coming talent ready to take the world by storm. I could not be more proud of who you guys are and I know you’ll do amazing things. My job as an idol was to spread hope to others, and I believe that this last push will be the last but most important way I can spread hope to the world. I’ll miss performing, but if I can give that hope to you, then you can pass it along to the crowds of people you’ll perform for. And that’s all I can ask for.”

“Haruka,” An spoke up, putting down the plates on the counter. “There is no way you’re going through with this. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“What?” Haruka’s eyes widened at her friend. “But An, this is what I need to do-”

“This isn’t what you need to do, Haru! You would never want to quit what you love so easily. What happened to the Haruka full of perseverance? Ask her what she thinks you should do.”

“An, I-”

“You’re giving up.”

Akito’s words brought the blue haired girl’s attention. “You’re gonna hurt yourself because of something you’ve done wrong. As if you’re not already working yourself to the bone to repair any damage you’ve caused.”

“You’re the reason we’re here, Haruka,” Mizuki said, clasping their hands together.

“It’s thanks to you that we’ve made it this far,” Tsukasa added. “We’d be so lost without this group, without you!”

“So tell me, Haruka,” Akito said, “Is it wrong for us to give some of that hope you gave us back to you?”

An interviewer once asked Haruka what her favorite part of being on stage was. For a while she never knew how to respond to that. Everything was amazing about performing. But one day, it finally became clear to her.

The best part of performing is, by far, the love you feel from those looking up to you for the person you are.

Haruka sniffled.

“AHH! We made Haru cry!” Tsukasa exclaimed, running over to give her a side hug. “Haru, are you okay!?” Mizuki surged to grab Haruka’s hands. Akito stood frozen, confused on what to do now.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry Haruka, I-”

“Haha!”

The girl with tears flowing down her face laughed, bringing all her friends into an embrace. “Of course…” she smiled to herself. “Thank you guys. If it’s okay, I think I’ll stay with you.”

“We’d love nothing less!” Mizuki grinned.

“GAH! Don’t scare us like that, Haru!” Tsukasa scolded, squeezing the group hug even more.

“Kasa, I literally can’t breathe,” Akito mumbled. “Ah, sorry!” Tsukasa said, letting go of the hug and bringing his hands to cup Akito’s face. “Are you okay?”

Akito’s face flushed pink at the contact. “Er, um, yeah, yeah whatever– let go of my face stupid...”

Mizuki snickered. “Ohoho, looks like we missed something this past week.”

“Shut your mouth Mizuki,” Akito growled. The designer just laughed more.

Haruka smiled, going over to An and giving her a hug. “Thank you for everything.” An smiled, returning the hug gratefully. “Of course Haruka. You’re something special, don’t forget that.”

“Oh hey, speaking of the group, I think we owe someone a visit,” Akito pointed out. An raised an eyebrow. “Who could you possibly be visiting?” Haruka smiled at the ginger.

“Just a friend.”

…

“I’m never getting used to the way this works,” Tsukasa shook his head, grabbing onto Akito after almost falling.

“You can say that again,” Akito agreed. “I’m never getting used to the way thi-” “Not literally, dammit.”

“Holy. Shit.” Mizuki mumbled, staring in awe at the world inside the phone. “Can this be my room? Can I live here forever?”

Haruka giggled. “Welcome to our SEKAI.”

“Oh, you’re back~!”

Mizuki looked ready to explode as RIN bounced over to the group. “Oh my god, it’s really Kagamine Rin.”

“Yep, that’s me! Nice to meet you, Akiyama!” Rin greeted, shaking Mizuki’s hand. “Nice to meet you too!”

“It seems you’ve finally all gathered together and made up. I couldn’t be happier for you guys! The mirrors were dropping glass everywhere, I can’t even count the amount of times I almost got cut,” Rin sighed. “Luckily the cracks are repairing! Obviously we can’t get rid of all of them completely, but the huge decrease is phenomenal!”

“I believe it’s time to revisit your mirrors.”

Miku walked in, joining the group with a delicate smile.

“Woah,” Mizuki stood with sparkles practically in their eyes, “It’s Hatsune Miku.”

“That would be me, yes,” Miku grinned, “It’s lovely to see you, Akiyama. How are you guys fairing?”

“Better,” Akito said, his voice somewhat small. “I, um, I’m sorry for yelling at you guys last time. That wasn’t cool.”

Miku and Rin looked at each other. They then returned their attention to the ginger, smiles on their porcelain faces. “You’re forgiven, Shinonome. We understand it’s hard to accept all of this.”

“Definitely,” Mizuki breathed out, scanning the world in wonder.

“And I’ve realized that you are a lot more helpful than I originally realized, so is it alright if we come in every so often to talk with you guys?” Akito admitted, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Rin attempted to stifle a laugh but failed, letting out a dainty giggle. “Why, Shinonome, that’s why we’re here: To help you with your troubles.”

“Of course, you’re allowed here whenever you’d like,” Miku agreed. “Oh, that’s right, the convention you were preparing for is in a week, how’s practice going?”

“Well not good recently. But after wasting this past week, we’re going to practice even harder until the day of CPopExplo,” Akito explained, pumping his fist in determination.

“I’m absolutely not letting you work yourself to death this week, Aki,” Tsukasa retorted, bringing down his hand and holding it in his own. “We’re going to have group practices like before, but make sure to take care of ourselves too.” Akito looked like he wanted to argue but caved and just held onto Tsukasa’s hand. “Fine.”

“Oh! Um, so about those mirrors, whose are whose?” Mizuki asked, looking around at the ongoing walls of mirrors. Miku put her hands together, watching them with care. “You’ll know when you walk by it.”

“What? There’s like a gazillion of them though,” the designer complained. Rin’s delicate hands took theirs. “It’s okay, we’ll find it quickly. Let’s go!”

The two went off. The other three took that as a cue to go to their own mirrors.

Haruka hesitantly approached the mirror she had the vision in. The stained glass border was the same as it was before. She was glad to see the cracks were smaller in comparison to last time. Bracing herself, she looked into the glass.

It was quite similar to the vision she’d seen before. A happier version of herself on stage, singing out to the crowd. She smiled watching herself entertain the masses. The same scene of her and Mai together played out like before, causing a slight pain in her heart. The former idol watched her alternate self join her current group in a performance that made the audience go wild. She smiled to herself as she watched her and her friends have the time over their lives above that familiar sea of blue.

Everything felt a little brighter now, every goal a little more attainable.

Haruka looked at her friends talking with the vocaloids.

“Oh my god, we can go up there?!” Mizuki exclaimed, pointing at the unending sky above. Rin chuckled, “Why yes, of course. Would you like a thorough tour?”

“But we should get back to practice-” Akito said, before being cut off by the actor already running off. “Come on Aki! We’ve got time to spare, let’s go! Maybe they’ll have flying puppies.”

Akito grimaced at the thought. “If there’s flying dogs I swear to god…” Haruka giggled and was met with an unamused look from the street performer.

“Don’t laugh at me, dogs are terrifying! Have you seen a goddamn chihuahua?” he reasoned, the two walking side by side to join the others.

One day, Haruka knew she would be able to face Mai. One day, things could be like her mirror vision. Not tomorrow, obviously. Not even next week. But right now, knowing the people she had with her, it didn’t feel as distant as it once did.