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It’s a calm Sunday morning in August. Simon is 82 years old. He is dying. He feels how his soul leaves his body, sees Johnny soundly asleep next to him. He doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t want to leave his husband behind. He knows how much it hurts to lose your partner. He saw it time and time again.
First Douglas who lost his Elspeth after 70 years of marriage, the man was a mess, passed away because of a broken heart just a week later. Then Kate, her wife had fought with cancer for years. She always stayed positive until the end but Kate still never stopped grieving. Kyle and Alex, they lost Farah far too early, she only became 59 years old, a sudden death ripped her from her partners. And lastly Price, who had lost Nikolai a few years before, the age difference between the two became obvious.
Simon doesn’t want to leave, he still wanted to do so much more with Johnny, and his kids and grandkids. He cried as he felt his vision gone dark.
John wakes up to the birds chirping outside of their window. He rubs his eyes as he rolls over to look at Simon. He stares at him for a while before he notices that his chest isn’t moving up and down like it should. John starts to panic, he lifts his hands up to feel the pulse on Simon’s neck. The skin is cold.
Nothing.
No no no no. John’s eyes well up with tears. ‘This can’t be happening’ he thinks. “Simon, Si, love please wake up” He shakes Simon’s lifeless body, thinking this is just a bad dream. He pinches his arm, he wants to wake up. He had dreams like that a lot especially when they were still in the military. He was so scared to lose Simon it was eating him up at night. He feels the pain from his pinch run through his nerves and nothing happens. He is awake, he is sitting in his bed with Simon’s body peacefully lying there.
His mind went blank. He gets out of the bed and picks up his phone. He calls an ambulance. He puts on his clothes, brushes his hair, gets a coffee, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. He opens the door when he hears the sirens, points the medics to their bedroom, where Simon was still lying. He sits back down in the kitchen waiting for the medics to be done, to tell him Simon really was dead. One of the medics, a woman in her thirties probably, walks up to him.
“Mr. MacTavish, I’m sorry we can’t do anything for him anymore, it’s too late” John nods. She explains to him what they will do with Simon’s body and how he should proceed. Then they leave and he is alone.
It’s quiet. It’s never quiet. It was never quiet. John could always hear Simon shuffle around somewhere, a spoon in a mug, pages turning in a book, heavy feet walking across the wooden floor.
Nothing.
John starts to make a mental list of what he has to do now. He picks up his phone, he needs to call some people.
He thinks a second about who he should call first. It wasn’t a hard decision. Maisie and Reagan, they deserve to be the first to know.
“Hey Pa”
“Good morning Pops”
He started a group call with his two kids.
“Hey Pumpkin, hey Sprout” His voice is monotone and lifeless.
“Something wrong? You sound weird” Maisie’s gentle voice sounds through the speaker.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to best say this, but Dad, he, he” The first tears, the first sign of emotion since he woke up spreads out through John’s body.
“What is with Dad, Pa don’t tell me he’s-” Sprout cuts themselves off and a sob could be heard from one of the two. John takes a deep breath. “I woke up this morning and he was just lying there, not moving, I called the ambulance and they confirmed my suspicion, he’s gone” He says with a knot in his throat.
“I’m on my way Pa, I’ll be with you in ten” Maisie says in a rushed voice, ever the caretaker, not letting herself grief for even a minute.
“I’m coming too, see you soon Pa” Sprout says, the sadness much more present in their voice.
“See you later,” John says as he hangs up the call.
Seven minutes later the front door opens and Maisie rushes into the house straight to the kitchen.
“Pa, I’m here, I’m here” John hasn’t moved since he hung up the phone and he’s just sitting in a chair. Simon’s chair.
Maisie quickly pulls her father into a tight hug. John slowly gets out of his trance. The warmth of his daughter makes his eyes well up again. He starts to sob. For the first time he lets the grief overtake him and just sobs. He clings onto Maisie for dear life, never wanting to let go of her again. Not too long after Sprout comes rushing into the house too, their partner with them. They come up to the pair and hug their father and older sister. They need to stick together now, as a family.
They could have hugged for hours but they wouldn’t care. After some time they separate and move to the living room. John takes Simon’s seat again and his kids exchange a sad look.
“I need to inform the others,” John says slowly. Sprout’s husband goes to pick up his phone from the kitchen.
“We can do it together Pa, you’re not alone” Maisie says and puts a hand on his shoulder. John nods as he picks up the phone again. He knows who he is going to call next.
“John Price.”
The man has never learned that he can save people’s numbers on his phone.
“Hey captain”
John never stopped calling him that. It was a force of habit.
"John! Nice to hear from you, how are you?”
Price sounds way too happy, and John got angry, he just lost his husband. How is he so happy?
Maisie and Sprout sense that their father is about to lash out on Price and they quickly snatch the phone out of his hands.
“Hey grandpa Price” Sprout says as Maisie tries to calm down John who is seconds away from an anger meltdown.
“Pa is not well at the moment, something bad happened” They quickly add.
Price makes a worried sound. “What’s wrong, Sprout?”
Sprout can feel their eyes getting wet again, they tip their head back trying to keep the tears in. “It’s Dad, he passed away this morning” They quickly say before the tears spill over their cheeks again. Their husband quickly stands by their side hugging them.
The other side is quiet until a car door slams shut. Price doesn’t say anything, all that can be heard is the car and the occasional sniffle. Neither hang up the call until Sprout hears Price’s car park outside of the house.
Price walks in slowly, probably exhausted from the quick departure, the man was nearing his nineties.
“John”
He says as he walks towards the other shaking with tears. The older man takes his trembling hands into his.
“I understand”
Two pairs of blue eyes lock and John completely loses it. Tears won’t stop flowing down his cheeks. Price pulls him into a tight hug and signs to the other three that they should inform the rest of the family. They nod. It’s obvious John isn’t in the right state of mind at the moment and they need to help their father. Maisie and Sprout start to call all the most important family members. Kyle, Alex, Alejandro, Rodolfo and Victoria. They all say they will come. Alejandro and Rodolfo will take the longest, but are already on the way to a plane to Europe. Kyle and Alex were getting ready too and would arrive in a few hours. Victoria was already on the way to her twin’s house when they called. She felt that something was wrong with John and she wanted to check up on him. Of course she didn’t expect it to be that.
The three younger people get back into the living room after contacting everyone. They can see the two Johns clinging to each other and bawling their eyes out. Simon is so important to the both of them, it doesn’t surprise anyone that they are the ones hurting the most.
The house starts to fill with people. Victoria first, quickly hugging her twin and trying to calm him down. Alex and Kyle arrive hours later. Sprout’s husband goes back home to take care of their kids. They gather around the kitchen table with some take out, no one was strong enough to cook. John hasn’t said anything in hours. He only cried on various shoulders and chests. The hospital called in the afternoon telling them Simon died peacefully in his sleep. It gives John some peace knowing after all the pain Simon has gone through throughout his life his end was a painless one.
Everyone around the table is silent. The air is thick. They just lost someone so important to them all and it is hard to comprehend.
For the first time in hours John speaks up.
“I hope he gets reunited with his mother” Nothing more. The people around him perk up. Small smiles appear on their faces.
“Yeah, and with Ma and Pa, and Rowan and Fiona” Victoria says next. Her smile widening.
“And Farah and Kate” Alex and Gaz say in unison leaning into each other.
“And Nikolai,” Price says at last.
John’s face which has been cold and distant the whole day starts to brighten up. A smile.
The bright smile Simon loved so much. The smile he wanted to see on his partner every second he was alive.
Tears slipped out of John’s eyes again. But they were good tears, his Simon could be with the people he loved so much, only a matter of time and they would be reunited again. He Plays with the ring around his finger. He couldn’t wait to see him again.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
Simon blinks his eyes open. Where was he? He looks around. It looks like the rolling hills just outside of his and Johnny’s house near Glasgow but the house was missing. He looks at his hands. They look… different. He wore his engagement ring on one hand, his wedding band on the other. He hasn’t worn them on his fingers in years, always on a silver chain around his neck. His fingers are less thick and wrinkly than he last remembers too.
“Simon”
He knows that voice. Somewhere in the back of his head he has heard it before. But it seems so distant yet so warm and comforting. He looks up and he feels the air being punched out of him.
“Mum”
He gets up from the floor and gets pulled into a hug. Was this one of those dreams where he reunited with his family, just for it to be ripped from him again when he woke up. But this feels so real. His mother feels so warm in his arms.
He pulls away and looks at her. Behind her more people appeared.
Tommy, Beth, Joseph.
He sees them a lot in his dreams; this isn’t new.
Nikolai, Kate, Farah, Anna.
This is new.
Douglas, Elspeth, Rowan, Fiona.
Wait.
He remembers the last thing before blacking out. The feeling of being pulled away from his own body. The top down view of Johnny sleeping and himself just lying there.
Realization hits him like a truck. He doesn't want to be dead, he wants to see Johnny and Maisie and Sprout. He starts crying, he feels tears leaving his eyes but his cheeks never get wet.
Meredith holds him close. “I know it’s hard Simon, but you will see them again” He reassures him. He crushes her in his embrace. Yeah, he would see them again, because all of his loved ones who passed away are here with him right now. This isn’t a dream.
He lets his mother go with a gentle smile and she lets out a relieved sigh
“I missed you so much” He says with a smile.
“I missed you too, but we have all the time in the world now”
Simon goes around and greets everyone he’s lost and now found again. It is okay, he thinks. He will meet his Johnny again, he will be here too.
Over the years his family follows Simon.
First Price The man got old, and he only kicked the bucket because he thought he was still 20 and overworked himself. When he was brought here, wherever they were, Nikolai was the one to greet him. Simon soon learned that there was a pull that could be felt whenever someone close passed away.
Next was Alex. Only a few days later Kyle too. Farah was there for both of them. They were finally all reunited. Alex died of old age, Kyle heart gave in because of the loss of his second partner.
Victoria was the next. Reunited with Sam and the rest of her family. Leaving John behind as the last MacTavish sibling.
Alejandro and Rudy came at the same time. They died in a car crash. Their mothers are waiting for them.
Now there is only one left and Simon waits patiently to see his love again.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
John lies in a hospital bed. Maisie and Reagan sitting next to it. It’s been over 15 years since Simon has passed away. It was hard in the beginning, Simon was such a constant in his life for 50 years and then he was just gone. He saw how everyone in his family passed away. Victoria was the hardest. She was his twin, it felt like a part of him died that day too. He is entirely grateful for his children and grandchildren now even great grandchildren. He wishes Simon could’ve met them. They helped him through everything and he is glad he has them left with him.
Over the last couple of days he felt his body getting weaker and weaker. Maisie has brought him to the hospital after he tripped. He’s holding his kids’ hands when suddenly he sees a blurry silhouette at the foot of his bed. The person gets more visible and his eyes widen.
“What’s wrong Pops?” Sprout calls him.
“Simon” He calls into the otherwise empty room.
“He’s not here anymore, Pa” Maisie tried to reason with him. John looks over to her and gives her a look she can’t quite decipher.
“Kids I think my time has finally come”
The siblings exchange a look. But they ultimately smile. There is nothing they can do, their father has had a long and happy life, he deserves to go.
“Don’t miss me too much, okay?” He grins at his kids. They both laugh with tears in their eyes. “Can’t make any promises” They say in unison. They squeeze his hands and both give him a tight hug. They settle back into their chairs. “Goodbye Pa, have a good time with Dad!” Maisie says a few of the tears roll down her cheeks.
“See you soon, Pops, tell everyone we love them!” Sprout says, their face in a similar state as Maisie’s.
“I will, I love you two so much, thank you for everything, I’ll wait for you wherever I’m going now!” He says with a smile on his face as he closes his eyes and starts to drift away.
“We love you too, Pa” Is the last thing he hears before the end.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
He wakes back up surrounded by rolling green hills. He looks up and there he is.
Simon.
Surrounded by all the people he loves so much. Simon doesn't look the same as when he last saw him. He looks like he is in his mid thirties again on the day after their wedding to be exact. John looks down at himself. He does too.
Before he can even look back up he feels this familiar rough hand on his face, tilting his head to face the taller man.
“Hey Johnny” Simon says. He sounds so soft.
John’s eyes get wet with tears and he starts to smile brightly. He missed his voice calling him that.
“Hey Simon” He grabs his waist and pulls him into a kiss. A kiss he has been waiting for for 15 years. The good morning kiss he didn’t get that day he woke up with Simon’s still body next to him.
The kiss feels like eternity but still not long enough, when Simon tries to pull away John grabs his face and dives back in. He can hear giggles behind them but he doesn’t care.
After another kiss he finally lets Simon breathe, not that he needs to.
“I missed you so much Simon, you can’t comprehend it”
“I do Johnny, I’ve waited for you for so long but of course your stubborn ass would be the last one to arrive”
Johnny starts laughing. Tears rolling down his face and he can hear Simon laughing too. God, how much he missed him.