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In all honesty Steve did not know what to do about it. Or how he ended up like this.
But he sure as hell would not be telling something like that to Robin.
"Of course I know that! It is perfectly clear to me why it turned out like this!"
"Is it really Steve? Are you sure, you are fully aware of the implications your actions are causing?"
"As I already said I am! You don't need you to keep reminding me or warning me of it! I know all that and much more. So just leave it alone aleady!"
Steve tunked the jug of bear on the bar table hard, and sloshed a bit of beer over his hand and pants. However that didn't stop him from glaring over Robin or trying to make his point more clear.
"All right, all right dingus! Settle down already. I was just trying to make you undestand that your actions will have consequences for everyone. Especially you in this case," Robin continued to lecture Steve on his choices, like he himself wasn't perfectly aware how fucked up they were most of the time. But what could he do? That happened when your trauma did most of the talking.
"You are becoming extremely annoying, are you aware of that Ro-bin?"
She sighed in exasperation, her eyes shinning with that tired gleam she exuded these days a lot. "I am. But as your life-long partner in crime and until-death best friend I can't help but worry for you. Especially when your love life is involved." And well Steve couldn't really argue with that. His love life was always really shitty. And after the 'incidents' it just became even more shittier.
After his maybe-break-up with Nancy and her getting on with Jonathan, Steve did not have many lucky shots with girls his age. Or any age really. He pined from a distance for a long time. At least until they both went away from Hawkins. Then he finally succeded at moving on with his life and finding what he could do with his future.
And it was going really great. He had a stable job, his friendship with Robin was still going strong, the kids were still visiting him regularly, and life was all around good. No new monsters or anything. Just plain old Hawkins. And plain old Steve.
At least until Nancy returned. Without Jonathan. Who she apparently has broken up with. Somehow. Steve did not ask that many questions about it. Sometimes he wished he did.
Anyway Nancy got back. And Steve found out his emotions were suddenly resurging again. So they got back together. Eventually. Nancy stayed at Hawkins. Steve stayed at Hawkins. With few ups and downs, things settled down and all was well. All was great. They were even planning to get married soon.
And then Jonathan returned.
To attend their wedding no less. Nancy invited him. Without Steve knowing about it. At first it was a bit awkward. Although in the end it didn't turn out as bad as Steve thought it would. He was just one of the many guests there. He ate, danced, clapped and had fun like everyone else. When the wedding was done and over with, he went away, without even looking back.
For a time he was caught in a bit of a tizzy because of the sudden appearance and dissappearance of his life-long rival, although in the end it all calmed down soon enough. Nancy and him were married, Jonathan was gone, and they had their own life to care for. Unfortunately it didn't stay that way for long.
Jonathan kept returning. To visit his family, to visit his friends (which he apparently had, who knew?), to visit Nancy. Even one time to visit Steve, no matter how weird that sounded when said outloud. But yes, they all kept in contact even after all these years. Somehow still intertwined even with great distances between them, and many more miles ahead of them.
In the beginning Steve did have a bit of a problem with those visits. Especially when they turned out to be a sure thing. He complained. His wife respected his wishes and didn't call Jonathan over to their house anymore. She even stopped meeting with him outside, when Steve became really obsessively jealous. Though that phase passed over him quickly, when his wife 'put his head on right' as she liked to describe it.
So Steve got over himself and with his wife assurances, apologized to Jonathan, extending the olive branch with a call to dinner. Jonathan accepted both the apology and the invitation, but even with Steve's assurances that it was alright, he never met with Nancy alone anymore. Only when Steve could also come, did they meet up somewhere together.
He never voiced that aloud, but it made it easier for Steve to breathe around them after that. Again for the ninth time, Steve thought life will finally settle down and stop sending him numerous curveballs on fire. Of course he was deathly wrong. As usual.
Byers started to work closer to Hawkins, so naturally he started to visit more. Both his family and them too. Until he got fired. And kicked out of his apartment. He visited their house on a chilly day in December, stone-faced and shivering. He didn't want to be a burden to his family, so he decided to settle this matter on his own. Getting a job across the country, was his immediate solution apparently.
Not knowing when he will return to Hawkins again, he gave them a sincere goodbye and went away quickly, before anyone else found out he even visited the town. Nancy worried. Steve worried with her. Sure Byers was his love rival for the longest time, but he was also.... kind of a friend.
Returning after few months with an even pastier and colder face, Jonathan told them he had to find another job again. This is where he- with the infamous mothefucking Steve Harrington logic- did something even he couldn't predict happening before it actually did. He offered his own house to Jonathan. As a place to live. Like kind of a guest/roomate/tenant.
Even if everyone was dubious about the situation working out for them, Steve did not regret his decision. At all. Which quite frankly was a bit surprising. At least to some people, including him. To Nancy it was just a regular Thursday. She accepted it easily and went with the flow, like they have been planning it for years. Her resourcefulness was something Steve always liked about her.
So Jonathan was..... there. He started to live with them. And he was a really quiet tenant. Steve sometimes even forgot he was even there most of the time. The other man soon found work and started to get out more. Steve saw him even less after that.
Surprisingly they made it work fairly early on. The cohabitation became an acknowledged truth, and Steve found himself loooking forward to seeing Byers in his house. Whereas Jonathan seemed to like living with them, so no one mentioned moving out for a long time. And it was soon completely forgotten and swept under the rug.
A phone started to ring really loudly from somewhere. Only when Robin started to give him the stink eye, did he notice it was his own damn phone that was ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Steve. You out drinking still?"
"Ya, with Robin at our favorite place. You home?"
"Yes, I just returned. Going to start making dinner soon. You want something too?"
"Whatever you make I will eat."
The line was filled with quiet laughter, that Steve enjoyed more than he admitted. "I know. I just thought it would be polite to ask. See you soon I hope. Don't drink yourself under the table, and return without Robin's help this time will you?"
"Ya, sure. See ya soon. Bye"
"Goodbye Steve. Say hi to Robin for me"
"Will do," the line was cut off and Steve put his phone down without looking. He raised his head, seeing Robin looking at him with a nicely shaped upticked brow.
"Jonathan said hi," he conveyed and felt pride bloom inside his chest at accomplishing something Jonathan asked him to do. "That was Jonathan???!!"
Steve looked confused at her astonished reaction, until he nodded in answer and saw her rub her face with both her hands. "You see this is what I am talking about. That totally sounded like you were married. Like Jonathan was your husband or something. For Christ sake, Nancy is your wife! Why are you talking to Jonathan like that!!!??? And you still have this stupid look on your face, which I do not want to decipher right now, because I am extremely tired of your bullshit. You have to do something about this. Anything, quite frankly I don't care what you do, you just have to do something! This can't go on like this! Wake up from your daze Steve, and start seeing the lights already!"
The desperation and sheer agony in her voice, made Steve sit up and listen carefully, because this was his best friend after all. She meant the world to him, and she always advized him in a lot of helpful ways. So he finally took up notice and decided to do anything Robin asked of him. "All right, Robin. I hear you. I will do what you say."
"You will? Oh, Thank God! Listen to me carefully, Steve. Talk to Nancy. Talk to Jonathan. Separately or together I don't care, just fricking talk to them. Will you promise me that?"
"I will. I promise Robin," Steve agreed seriously, which made Robin look much happier and calmer than before. "All right, dingus. Let's order another round of drinks. This time on me...."
+++
Steve returned home, much later than planned. When he knocked on the door, it wasn't Nancy who greeted him, but Jonathan. "Hey, Steve. Glad to see you back. Need help with getting inside?"
"No, no need for help, Johnny. Just give me your hand for a sec," Steve swayed for a bit, before Jonathan complied and gave him his hand. Steve squeezed it hard and took a hold of it in a strong grip, that allowed Jonathan to easily pull him inside and toward the big table in the dining room.
"I made you a sandwich. If you are hungry, you can eat it. Preferably without barfing it all up, after an hour of sleep," Jonathan said wryly, putting Steve on the chair and sitting beside him soon after. Not really thinking or seeing anything beside the sandwich before him, Steve gobbled it down and felt much better after. Looking to his left, he was surprised by seeing the other man still sitting in the same place, smilling over him like a loving parent does to a child they produced.
Suddenly feeling his throat close up, and his heart speeding up, Steve quickly glanced down and tried to not think about the kind of blush he most definitely had on his face, and why it appeared at all in this exact moment.
"You finished?"
Steve cleared his throat and nodded in affirmation. Jonathan picked up his plate, tapped him on the shoulder with his wide palm and went over to the kitchen sink.
During his internal panic, and his mind reeling from the number of information he was getting and discovering, Jonathan cleaned it all up and returned to his side in a flash. He tapped his shoulder yet again, and asked in a quiet clear voice: "You had fun?"
"Yes, I did. You?"
"Same old, same old," Jonathan answered and a pleasant silence descended upon them. Byers still stood behind him, his hand not moving from its previous spot on his shoulder. Steve tried to act like that didn't make him more aware of Jonathan's presence. "You need help getting to bed?"
Steve somehow assesed his state of mind and body, even with it reeling non-stop with chaotic thoughts and feelings, and decided some help would not be remiss. "Yeah, it would be appreciated." Jonathan only nodded at that, and took him slowly up, half-embracing him and carrying him in the direction of Nancy's and his bedroom. Jonathan had his own separate bedroom, that Steve sometimes passed by when he wanted to hang out or talk to Byers without Nancy hanging around them.
"Here we go," he said, when Steve was put on the bed in a fairly comfortable position. "Sleep tight, Steve. Hope you have pleasant dreams."
"I will, if you stay here with me," for some God-forsaken reason Steve snarked back, and felt mortified when his brain caught up with his mouth. Fortunately, Jonathan only giggled at that, and gave Steve a pleasant warm gaze. "Steve go to sleep, you are drunk. Good night, you flirt," he whispered before closing the door, and shutting down the lights.
Steve stayed up in fully dark room and contemplated his next try at suicide, because this kind of embarrasment was not something he could deal with.
"Oh, beautiful. I really am truly fucked."
"Nance, please don't hate me," Steve started his speech, hoping Nancy will not go full reporter mode on him. When she got that demanding, he could never hide anything from her, which in this case wouldn't be a good look on him. Or actually turn out well, especially if he revealed everything that was important.
"What did you do now, my husband?"
Steve felt immediately more relaxed after her wry question. She was in a good mood, because she usually called him husband when she was amused by his antics and shenanigans. Unfortunately this time her good mood will not last that long after he tells her what he needs.
"You see I had some unpleasant realizations about myself and my feelings recently. And I wanted to ask your opinion and to share them with you, because as much as they are important for me, they are important for you as well. It may completely change our dynamic from now on, which scares me a lot, but what scares me more is hiding this from you, and lying about it. So I decided to be honest, no matter the outcome. Will you listen to me for a moment?"
Nancy nodded with a serious face, and Steve took a deep breath in, preparing himself for the reveal.
"Someone close to me pointed out, how I wasn't really acting appropriately toward someone. And that my actions could hurt everyone, from myself to you to many other people. So that someone asked me to speak with you about it and to 'end the confusion' between us. So this is my attempt at clearing the air between us so to speak"
"What do you mean Steve? Toward whom had you been acting inappropriately?"
"Toward.... uh toward Jonathan," Steve admitted, feeling the full on attack of embarrasment all over again. This is never going to be easier to deal with is it?
"Toward....... Jonathan?"
"Yes, the person pointed out to me, we acted, uh I mean I acted like he........ was my husband. When you are actually my only wife, and it was weird and inappropriate and I apologize!"
Nancy was looking at him with wide eyes full of astonishment and surprise. She was silent for so long, Steve was starting to profusely sweat. "This person we are talking about is Robin right? Not some nagging grandma or something?"
"Ah yes of course. So you know she meant well!"
"And do you agree with her?"
"What?"
"I asked do you agree with Robin's assesment? That you are acting inappropriately with Jonathan?"
"Uh, I don't know I guess, but welll...... I am really not sure. Nothing we did was like bad or something, but I was also a bit tipsy, so I don't know maybe I said something inciminating-"
"What did you say? What happened that she reacted like she did?"
"Uh, well I was telling her about the time Jonathan and me went to that concert you know, and how you stayed at home, and made us eggs at like four in the morning when we returned, and how it was an awesome night and everything, and she said...... well she said that sounded nice, but she also sounded somehow suspicious. Or sceptical or something I am not sure, but just not fully happy with what I said. And then she asked me if I was aware of how my words sounded and what they seemed like to be saying between the lines or something"
"I of course said no, because I really was completely lost at what she meant and wanted to tell me. So Robin explained that it almost sounded like I was not only married to you, but that I was dating both of you," Steve made a pause here, because he wasn't sure how Nancy would react, and if she will wake up from the daze she suddenly seemed to be under ever since he started explaining.
"Dating both of us? You mean Jonathan and me?"
"Yes, she told me it sounded like we were all.... well dating each other and stuff. I of course told her, that was ridiculous and that she was being ridiculous, but she was persistent you know how it is. I tried to explain that I was aware of how it all seemed, and that it wasn't like that at all, but she didn't believe me. And then.. ," he said and looked over at Nancy, seeing her watching him with rapt attention. Maybe she was finally getting something out of his story? Steve hoped so, because he was still confused as heck.
"And then what?"
"Jonathan called. You know to ask me where I am and stuff. We talked and he told me to greet Robin, so I did. She said that the conversation sounded very suspicious. Almost like we were....."
"You were what?"
"..... We were husbands. Or something. Which I was totally unaware honest. That was not my intention at all. I just thought we were acting friendly I really don't know why she said that"
"Steve. Did you have something else to tell me?"
That shut him up quickly. The sweating continued. She now had that knowing look on her face, which made him have more headaches than he liked to admit.
"I well...... uh-I-think um, that..... that may-be she......"
"She..... well could be maybe-possibly-relatively-pretty closely..... correct. In some ways at least," after finally succeeding at telling Nancy the most important part of his recent discoveries, Steve avoided her gaze and tried to will the floor to open-up so he wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of this situation.
"That means, that you...... like Jonathan? Romantically?"
Nancy still sounded calm and soothing, so Steve slowly nodded, waiting for the yelling to start soon.
"Does that change your feelings for me?"
"Of course not! I still love you, and am immensey glad I got to marry you! But well I just found out about this crush toward Jonathan, and I don't know what to do! It was so confusing these days, I am just ugh... so tired of these surge of feelings! What am I to do with them Nance?!"
Nancy was silent. Peeking through his eyelashes, Steve saw her in deep contemplation toward his problem. It both made his fear and his love for her rise in a big wave, threatening to swallow him whole.
"I need some time to think about this. Give me like a couple of days, maybe a week to think this all through. And then we will decide on a course and stick to it. Is that alright Steve?"
"Of course, Nance! I am so glad I have you by my side. I really don't know what I would be doing without you."
"Nothing smart, I can tell you that," she jokingly answered and Steve hugged her in sheer relief. After separating, he chased a kiss, which she accepted readily enough. The kiss ended quicker than he wanted, but when Nancy had work to do, she didn't let even her hormones to distract her from it. So she shooed him away, and promised to think over what he said, and to help him find a soultion.
Steve could not have felt happier in that moment, even if he tried.
It was a rare free morning, where all of them didn't have any work or other related business to do during the day. Nancy was nursing her morning coffee, made by Jonathan and his magical cooking fingers he employed pretty well in making everything and anything taste delicious. Even the most mundane things. Like this sandwich, she was munching on. Jonathan sure liked his sandwiches.
She was watching him brew another coffee for their late arrival, and wondering about what Robin said to Steve a couple of days ago. Nancy would never really describe their life as Robin did, but when she looked at it in an objective view, or through a different looking glass- well it did come pretty close to what Robin desribed as their mutual dating of each other.
Nancy looked up, and saw Jonathan watching her with his piercing gaze, he never really grew out of. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, returning to his coffee making easily enough. Her twirling stomach and reddening cheeks, weren't really a good sign were they?
Maybe Robin was more right, than she knew. Maybe not only Steve, but she herself also had some new or unresolved feelings that were directed toward Jonathan and his seemless slotting into their own married life?
Steve suddenly bursted from the other room, his hair an unorganized mess and his eyes bleary. "Good morning sleepyhead," Nancy declaired and sent Stevie an amused smirk, that he returned readily enough, making his own smile more smug than amused.
"I got summoned by a lovely smell. Where is this coming from?"
Nancy hid her smile behind a mug, while Jonathan readily walked over to the other man and put a cup in his open palm. "It is coming from me actually. I made our coffee. As usual," Jonathan said and slowly shoved Steve's bangs out of his eyes in a way that stole all breath from Nancy's lungs.
This. This image right here, was probably what Robin was talking about. Jonathan was awfully close to Steve, looking up at his eyes and smirking in that self-assured way, he rarely used outside their house. And Steve was looking down at him, with what could be described as 'heart eyes' full of love and adoration. It could be clearly seen, especially now when he wasn't full awake and as such was less guarded than usual.
Nancy felt like crying. She felt like laughing. She felt like screaming and she felt like celebrating. She felt so many things, she wasn't sure what she needed to do first.
"Hey Nancy, you okay?"
Jonathan suddenly cut through her inner panic, and she saw both of them looking at her worriedly. At first she wanted to lie and say everything was alright, however in the last moment she stopped herself. Why hide it though?
This conversation between them had been a long time coming, and if they don't have it now, when will they have it then?
"First let's leave Steve to drink up his coffee, and then we can talk about it. All three of us," Nancy firmly intoned and both of them straightened up at her underlined tone. "Alright then. Steve drink that coffee faster, we have important stuff to discuss."
"Shut up you! I am drinking it as fast as I can!"
She really loved her boys very much.
"Is everything alright with you Jonathan?"
Jonathan smiled at his mothers worry. It seems that no one can become too old to worry for their children, even when said children are already full on adults.
"Yes, mom everything is fine. I mowed the lawn with Steve yesterday, so our garden looks in much better state now. Though it was mostly me doing all the work, while he goofed off and made me laugh as usual. You can come visit and see for yourself how well your chrysanthemums are growing. Nancy is really taking a good care of them as do I."
"That's nice, honey. And how are your two..... lovers?"
Jonathan felt like laughing again. Out of all the parents, his mother accepted them the easiest and the most enthusiastically, but she still had a bit of a problem at defining what they really were. He couldn't really blame her, they had that same problem for a long time too.
"They are good. Our schedules are still chaotic, but we get by somehow. We are now in active planning of our summer vacation. Don't ask me about the destination, we still don't know anything about it. You should hear the kind of fights Steve and Nancy have over it, it is just wild. But yeah, when it soldifies I will tell you everything. Anyway enough about me. How are you mom? How is Will?"
"I am good. Still kicking, despite my age as they say. Hopper is also well, and El is having a blast at high school. It seems that she had finally found a group where she fits in better. It is going well I think. And Will is having some love problems, as I have heard, but despite that he is still pretty well. He told me you will call him at Tuesday?"
"Yes, we agreed to call each other then, I was just making sure nothing changed or that nothing was amiss. Well then is there anything else you want to know, or that you want to tell me?"
"No, sweetie that is all. Have a fun weekend. And see you on Wednesday. Tell Steve I am making his favorite pie, and Nancy to bring that tea of hers. Both Hopper and me like it very much, and we drink it up very fast! Goodbye, thanks for calling"
"Goodye mom. Thanks for answering, and see you on Wednesday!"
Jonathan put the phone down and looked at the clock. Nancy was finishing up soon, and Steve was out with Robin again, having their usual drinking parties. Maybe he should call him up, to see how it was going and if an extraction was needed. They usually weren't that uncaring and free with alcohol, but it was always good to check up on them and remind them of it, just in case.
He dialed the number and waited for the beeping to stop.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Steve. Jonathan here. How is it going with Robin?"
"It is going great! We are soon going to finish up and go home! How about you? You home yet?"
"Yes, I finished up early today. Need a pickup?"
"Uh, no not really. We will be alright. Don't worry about it! Vickie is picking us up! What....? Come on, Robin he knows already! You aren't really subtle! Yeah, yeah whatever. So the answer is no"
"All right then. See you soon then"
"Ya, see you soon. Love you," Steve said lovingly, and Jonathan could hear gagging noises in the background. Robin no doubt.
"Love you too. Bye"
"Yeah, goodbye, John," Steve finished and before cutting off the line, he could hear Robin calling Steve a sappy sap. He giggled at their antics and wondered what Steve's answer was to her perceived insult of his attachment to Jonathan.
Well he will know soon enough.