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时间近下午两点，高启强已经在车上等了快十个小时，他的手机一直在响，短信和电话交替袭来，像声音的冰雹砸在他的耳膜上，但高启强没有去看也没有关静音，只是保持着僵直定在驾驶座上，腿上压着的是一本相册，前段时间他翻得太多，连指纹都嵌进相纸，最后只能强行地将相册锁在平常很少用的柜子，甚至这件事都是交给小龙去办的，直到过来前一天他才要了钥匙来，把相册又取到身边。
闹钟陡然响起，高启强像被上了发条一般终于动作起来，两点四十的时间，今天要见的问米婆来头很大，潮汕林姓，见了妈祖都能喊一声祖姑，高启强来前她就定了两条规矩，一是七天内不可拜佛念经，身上辟邪之物尽数去除；二是不可早到也不能迟到，早问神午问鬼，申时至下声威。
It was nearing two in the afternoon. Gao Qiqiang’s waited in the car almost ten hours. His phone has been going off since, texts and calls alternating unceasingly. The sounds came like hailstones around his ears but he didn’t look down and he didn’t mute. Only keeping rigidly still in the driver’s seat, a photo album in his lap. Lately he’s flipped through it so often his finger prints have been embedded into the edges, until he forcibly locked the album away in a dusty cabinet, delegating the task to Xiaolong. Until the day before when he surrendered into asking for the key to reclaim it.
His alarm went off then, finally jolting him out from his stasis. Two forty: the one he had a meeting with today was a medium. Surnamed Lin from Chaoshan, laying claim to a shared ancestry with the goddess Mazu herself. Before seeing him, she had two conditions: one – not to worship or recite scriptures within seven days, so as to not remove any spirits from his presence; two – not to arrive early or late. Implore the gods in the morning, plead with ghosts in the afternoon, but pray for mercy in the evening.
老街逼仄狭窄未经拓宽，高启强只得将车停在村口，越过老榕树后一尊去煞用的石雕八卦立于巷口，高启强避之不及，只得低头默念几声高启盛的名字快步离开，潮汕人对风水相当讲究，因此问米婆的屋子格外容易找寻，高启强匆匆走了不过六七分钟便看到道路左侧一扇难以忽视的风水歪门，如佐证般，对面屋顶立着一只正对着风水歪门的风狮爷，墙壁上还刻着“石敢当”，高启强的神经稍稍松了一些，但也禁不起一点拨动，否则只能发出割碎人性命的高调子。
时间还未到申时，他只得在门口来回踱步，墙上的贴瓷画细细描绘苏六娘的故事，但高启强连一眼都没有看过，他不断摁着手机的挂断键维持屏幕的亮度，但时间却跳动得异常缓慢，于是高启强又抬起手将腕表上的分针和手机上的时间对着来回地看，腕表是他前一天对着新闻联播调的时间，应当是很准的，问米婆没有跟高启强说迟了早了会有什么后果，寻到这里来的人压根也不敢散漫或是着急，高启强很久没有这样无措，上次还是高启盛在他面前死去。
The old streets were cramped and narrow, leaving Gao Qiqiang with no choice but to park at the entrance of the village gate. After crossing an old banyan tree, a grand stone carving of the eight divinatory trigrams stood at the mouth of the alley. It couldn’t be avoided, and so he bowed his head and silently recited Gao Qisheng’s name a few times before leaving in haste. The people of Chaosan were very particular about Fengshui, and so it should be easy to find the medium’s place. He walked briskly for only a few minutes before noticing a crooked door to the left side of the road that seemed especially jarring. As if it being there was an ascertainment of some kind. On the opposite roof stood a Shisa guardian lion facing the crooked door, the wall engraved with an exorcism stone tablet. His nerves settled slightly, but he couldn’t couldn’t bring himself to move, for fear of stepping a foot wrong.
He was still early, not yet the Shen hour. He waited, facing the porcelain paintings on the wall, depicting the story of Suliu Niang. Yet he was distracted, and couldn’t take in the details. He kept pressing his phone’s hangup key to keep the screen bright, each second ticking by in agony. He went back and forth between glancing at the minute hand of his wristwatch to the electronic time display of his phone. He had adjusted the time to the news broadcast the day before, as to not leave any doubt in accuracy. The medium hadn’t told him of the consequences of being early or late. Those who sought an audience wouldn’t dare to be slack or hasty. Gao Qiqiang hasn’t been this helpless in a long time. The last time he was resulted in the death of his brother.
木门向里打开，一个七八岁大的男孩从内走出，第一件事是伸手跟高启强要相册，高启强有些不明所以的诚惶诚恐，小心将相册递给男孩，不知道是不是要烧掉，他想问问如果要烧掉能不能就抽一张出来，很多旧照片没留下底片，一把火燃尽就没了念想，谁料高启强还没有开口男孩儿就率先说话了，稚气的嗓音说的话却很老道。
他说：“不烧你的，照片里下神太多，抢着吃米，你的问题就问不清了。”
The wooden door then opened inwards. A boy about seven or eight stepped out, reaching a hand out for the photo album. Gao Qiqiang, not understanding, was a little confused and panicked, but gave up the album reluctantly, hoping it wouldn’t be burned. If indeed it was for that purpose, he wanted to ask if he could take out even one photo to preserve. Many of the old photos were long without their negatives or duplicates. One fire was all it would take. But before he could open his mouth, the boy spoke first – words weighted with wisdom in a voice so young.
“It won’t be burned. There are too many personal deities in these photos. If one rushes to eat rice, one won’t be able to ask their questions clearly.”
厅内跪着一个老妪，火盆里大钱银垫还烧得哗哗啦啦，乩童突然跑起来，高启强微微一惊，也跟着大步迈进，老妪头也不侧地命高启强跪，高启强来不及去寻什么草垫就直直一跪，膝盖骨砸得冰凉，抬头一看供着的正是玉皇大帝十仙与地藏王菩萨。
“拜。”
高启强不知道规矩，只能连磕三个响头，地上没有铺瓷砖，像锉刀一样擦过高启强的额头，血将土混成泥结在高启强脸上，人类拜神都要带点狼狈， 情绪上的、生理上的，高启强砰得要磕第四个头，老妪喝住了他。
“不可少也不可多。你要请哪位下神？”
高启强向老妪拱拱手，从口袋里掏出一张纸条，上书高启盛生卒年月及八字姓名，每一笔都写得小心清晰，唯恐一道连笔就此误读。
He walked in to see an old woman kneeling in the hall, coins and bills burning in her brazier. The young medium then started running, startling him, he tried following with his longer strides. Without looking back, the woman commanded him to kneel. He did so without the hesitation to even search for a straw mat. His knees hit the cold ground. He raised his eyes to take in the Jade Emperor and his ten immortals in worship before the Bodhisattva of the Great Vow.
“Pray.”
Gao Qiqiang wasn’t familiar with the formal rites, and so he could only kowtow three times in a row on an untiled floor. The coarse surface felt against his forehead, blood and soil marring the point of contact. To lower yourself before the gods was to cut a sorry figure, both emotionally and physically. He was about to kowtow a fourth time before the old woman stopped him.
“No more no less. With whom are you seeking an audience?”
He proffered his hands and took out a slip of paper, written on it the dates of birth and death, as well as a name. Each character written with the utmost care, for fear that a single stroke could be misread.
“我弟弟，高启盛。”
京海的天在高启盛死了以后红了七天，是高启强用大钱银垫烧红的。高启盛死得不安宁，这事传得很快，第二天就人尽皆知高老二被亲哥出卖惨死街头，懂的人从高启盛的牌位上就看出猫腻，高老二死的时候还没到而立，寿命却硬生生凑到五十上寿。
这定是有高人指点以化解高启盛怨气。
高启强做得毫不掩饰，用一天的时间就找到一对八字合拍的孤儿做高启盛的孝子孝女，身着斩衰跪于高启盛牌位，高启强手持白灯笼站在旁侧，指示孝子报地头。
所谓孝子不过十二岁，哪里见过这样的场面，双手握着年庚帖抖如筛糠，高启强面无表情，连一点安抚的笑容都没有，像宝莲灯里无情冷酷的二郎神一般盯着男孩，男孩开口的时候已是眼泪搅着汗水鼻涕往胃里钻，又被高启强喝了一声，终于哭喊道：
“生从地头来——”
“My little brother, Gao Qisheng.”
Jinghai’s sky turned red for seven days after his death. From the ritual fires he burnt in his honor. His brother had not gone peacefully into the next life, and news spread quickly. A day after and the streets were full of talk that Gao Qiqiang had betrayed him and forced his tragic end. Those who knew better saw something off about Gao Qisheng’s memorial tablet.
Not even bothering to hide it, they accused Gao Qiqiang of having found a pair of orphans who matched their horoscope’s as Gao Qisheng’s filial son and filial daughter, attired in mourning and made to kneel before his memorial tablet. With a white lantern in hand, Gao Qiqiang had ordered the filial son to bow.
The boy was only twelve – what could he understand about the role he was made to play, holding the birthdate post with both hands shaking, while Gao Qiqiang stood expressionless, not even a placating smile. Staring at him like the ruthless Erlang God himself guarding the lotus lantern.
好，好。高启强脸上终于露出慈悲，他要的就是男孩的哭声，为此不得不用些威吓的手段，陈书婷看到必然会大感愤怒，但她不在这里，高启强第一次用不可违抗的语气跟陈书婷说话，他说书婷，这几天事情很杂，我忙不过来，晓晨就辛苦你看着，别到处乱跑了。说的时候正在翻那本旧相册，叫陈书婷连他的眼睛都看不到，手机叮叮当当响起来，陈书婷看到屏幕上写着王秘书，高启强依然没将眼睛抬起，伸手就把手机砸到墙上，高晓晨从屋里出来问是什么声音，陈书婷看了高启强一眼，急忙把高晓晨喝进屋内。
刷成红色的骨灰盒用的是上好的金丝楠木，高启强叫唐小虎不择手段弄来，他不管谁家急着要用，嘴上明晃晃地说急的人都死了就都不着急了，唐小龙实际上跟高启强的时间不长，站在弟弟旁边喘气都怕响亮，高启强的这幅样子他没有见过，恍然觉得高启强的眼睛变成鱼的眼睛，看不出情绪也不会眨动，就这么死死盯着谁，像无声的诅咒。
Until at last the boy had been reduced to tears, seemingly Gao Qiqiang’s goal all along, even if he had to intimidate him to accomplish it. His wife, Chen Shuting, had she seen it, would’ve been furious, but the lady hadn’t been present. For with an imperial air, Gao Qiqiang had ordered her to look after her son, Xiaochen, and not to have him cause him trouble. Flipping through that photo album as he spoke. Chen Shuting never even caught his gaze. As his phone rang, she saw Secretary Wang’s name light up on the screen. Not removing his eyes from the album, Gao Qiqiang reached out and smashed his phone against the wall. Startling Gao Xiaochen out of his room to ask what was the matter. Chen Shuting then glanced at her husband once before hurriedly rushing her son into the other room.
The red bone ash box was top grade, gold engraved, chinese cedar. He had told Tang Xiaohu to spare no expense in obtaining it. He cared not the deceased of other loved ones who might have use of it, reasoning that if they were already dead then there was no hurry. Not having served nearly as long, even standing next to his brother, Tang Xiaolong feared his breathing alone would be enough of a bother, for he has never seen Gao Qiqiang in such a state, feeling as if the man’s eyes had become as cold and dead as the fish he used to gut. Void of all expression and barely blinking, staring at others like a silent curse.
泰叔差人送来纸仪，金额是双数，凑了一个吉利的66666。这遵的就不是纸仪的礼节，但高启强依然叫人把送纸仪来的小弟活活打死，用高尔夫球杆打的，唯一要求是最后一次必是单数，计下的数和纸仪一并还给泰叔，走之前高启强喊了声等等，从中抽走一张一元的纸币，还了66665和一句话，高启强面无表情念：“就说‘因为十分尊敬干爹，所以不能容忍干爹身边有这样不懂规矩的小弟，斗胆替干爹处理了，望干爹原谅’。”
这都说得通，办这些用的不是心而是钱，黑的白的都知道高启强自幼父母双亡，一人拉扯弟妹长大，这些年明面上也和高启盛捆在一起，眼下洗得够白但也死了弟弟，愧疚也好恐惧也好都是人之常情，走这条路的前人多如牛毛，最后几乎都做了相当漂亮的法事或超度或镇压地了了这些破事，高启强不过是其中一个。
Uncle Tai had sent someone to deliver the paper rites. The amount was an even number, in total an auspicious ¥66,666. But this was not the proper etiquette, and so Gao Qiqiang had ordered his men to beat to death the man who delivered it, using golf clubs. His only requirement had been for the last digit be an odd number, and so he had refused Uncle Tai’s offering. Gao Qiqiang had called for the man to wait before he left. Taking a single bill, before returning the rest of the ¥66,665 along with a single statement. Cold and stoic, he said: “Out of respect for my godfather, I couldn’t tolerate the presence of such a careless underling by his side. And so I had the courage to take matters into my own hands. I hope for my godfather’s forgiveness.”
Putting it all in terms of money rather than matters of the heart. Innocent or guilty, everyone knew the man and his siblings had been orphaned at a young age, raising them both by his own fortitude. All these years and he was closest to Gao Qisheng. His name and reputation may have survived clean and intact, but in the end he had still lost a brother. Whether it was due to guilt or dread, the reaction was entirely human. There were countless predecessors who have walked the same path. A beautiful ceremony was ever the final ritual. Ultimately, whether to impress or quell, Gao Qiqiang was merely one of many.
然而即便如此京海仍盛传高启盛的冤魂不得安息，化为厉鬼日夜纠缠高启强，高启盛的生日道上人人知道，因此所有人都晓得他死在自己的生日当天，这本就是时日不吉，再加上高老二活着都不是个好对付的人，带着怨气死了更是难度的鬼。证据一是高启强花了很多功夫去寻灵验的问米婆，还找高僧求了一串佛珠整日不离身地戴，给高启盛认下的孝子孝女索性送出国去，两人之前身处的两所孤儿院更是干脆地买下，门头写上强盛的名字。
凶灵作祟。
高启盛死前吃过的面店生意一落千丈却仍然开着，面店的老板一家搬进了高档商品楼，精装修的大平层，远远能望到海。即使得了唐家兄弟的叮嘱，话还是传了出去，只要高启强想吃的时候老板能随时到位给他煮一碗猪手面，铺面就盘下来送给老板，每个月不开张也能固定拿一万块钱。
Even so, it became widely rumored in Jinghai that Gao Qisheng’s aggrieved soul would not rest in peace. As a ghost, he’d haunt his brother day and night. Everyone had known his birthday, and by extension, the day of his death as well. Thus the timing was unfortunate two-fold. Not to mention even alive, the second brother had not been an easy one to deal with, and so as a ghost, his vengeance was ever greater. It seemed only natural that Gao Qiqiang would be forced to resort to a famous medium, now taken to wearing a string of Buddhist beads given to him by a head monk. The pair of filial children he recognized as his brother’s were sent abroad. In doing so he had also bought out the orphanages they came from, engraving the name Qiang Sheng on the gate.
Such were the lengths he’d gone to.
The shop Gao Qisheng ate at last had its business plummet and yet was kept open, the owner of the shop and his family having moved into a high-end commodity building, lavishly decorated, with even a view of the ocean from a distance. And even though the Tang brothers denied it, word spread that the sole condition for the arrangement, was that there’d be a bowl of pork hock noodles ready for him any time he wanted, a fixed income of ¥10k a month without ever needing to open for others.
地上高启盛的血怎么也洗不掉，凝成地面的一块疤，有小混混嚣张地打着挑战恶鬼的名号朝上头尿了尿，三天以后就在众目睽睽下从碉楼一跃而下，侥幸捡了条命，但得在床上瘫一辈子，高启强得知了这件事，光明正大在电视上对着记者说要负责小混混下半辈子的医药费，新闻播出的时候高启强陈书婷和高晓晨正坐在一起看电视，感受到陈书婷视线的高启强微微笑起来，说你看我干什么，我做得不对吗，他家里那么困难，我帮帮忙不是挺好的？
陈书婷没有回答，转头叫高晓晨关掉电视去练钢琴。
Gao Qisheng’s blood had been impossible to wash clean off the pavement, becoming a permanent scar. For a dare, some young gangster had pissed on the spot once after the alcohol had gone to his head. Three days later he had jumped from the watchtower in full view of a crowd. He hadn’t lost his life, but it was arguably worse that he was instead paralyzed. After learning about the matter, Gao Qiqiang had vowed before reporters that he would take care of the man’s lifelong medical expenses. The segment was broadcast just as Gao Qiqiang, Chen Shuting, and Gao Xiaochen were sitting together watching the news. Feeling his wife’s gaze, he smiled sheepishly, stating simply that it was the charitable thing to do.
Choosing not to respond, Chen Shuting told her son to turn off the TV, and to practice piano instead.
他找了很多问米婆，很多，到了这个时候高启强才发现原来这个世界上有这么多人声称自己能连接到死人的世界，他找得声势浩大，连纯骗子都给一大笔报酬，先坐不住的是派出所，遮遮掩掩地出了个严禁宗教诈骗的传单，其实还是安欣的主意，他坐到张彪办公室，一坐坐一天，说你可以不管这件事，高启强已经彻底疯了，如果有人为了钱去骗他触了逆鳞死了，你去李响和师父的墓前解释这条人命。
然而还有别的证据，高启强从未去过高启盛的墓前，即使碑上刻的立碑人也是孝子孝女的名字，但他其实到过墓园无数次，每一次他都坐在车上，只有唐小虎和唐小龙下车。
All this time he had searched, only realizing then, truly, how many there were claiming they could connect to the world of the dead. Still he searched, paying even the common swindler a great sum. The first of them was detained at the police station still, having secretly issued leaflets prohibiting religious fraud. The idea had been An Xin’s: he had set up shop in Zhang Biao’s office, insisting for a full day that he could ignore this matter, that Gao Qiqiang really had lost his mind, but if someone were to be fool enough to try and cheat him, sooner or later they’d die. Telling him to visit the tomb of Li Xiang and their old master, and to explain to them this outcome.
Strange was how Gao Qiqiang never visited his brother’s tomb. The ones credited with erecting the monument being the names of his filial children. Though in reality he’s come to the cemetery numerous times, choosing in the last moment to remain in his car, dispatching Tang Xiaolong and Tang Xiaohu out.
没人不喜欢听这类的奇闻异事，高启强到墓园是因为心虚，不敢到高启盛的墓前是因为害怕。高启盛在京海人的嘴里闹得沸反盈天，把高启强的皮都要扒一层，可说到最后话还是落在高启强活该上，中国人最重就是家庭，就算高启盛有通天的恶，被高启强害死来索命也叫人感到痛快。
眼前的问米婆是高启强找到的第二十一个。旧厂街的孩子其实没有那么多的信仰，原因很简单，因为信仰也是要花钱的。他对红粿的记忆都已经变得很模糊，只记得是在父母还活着的时候吃过几次，后来等到父母都死了，红粿的味道也渐渐被抽象化成一个好吃的形容，高启强对拜老爷的印象就只剩下无休无止的三板吹鼓和格外好做的生意，那几天他的鱼摊都忙得不得了，刀和案板从早到晚都很少有安静的时候，街上也有早茶店卖做好的红粿，高启强总是买三个，妹妹胃口小吃一个，弟弟胃口大吃两个。
Morbid as the subject was, everyone indulged in these colorful anecdotes. Either in repeating them or hearing them. ‘Gao Qiqiang visited the cemetery because of his guilty conscience, yet remained too scared to approach his brother’s grave.’ ‘Gao Qisheng was so uproarious of a character that Gao Qiqiang almost lost a layer of skin from stress.’ But in the end, it all came back to that of comeuppance. Chinese people placed family above all else. So even if Gao Qisheng was a being of inordinate evil, it would be a proper pleasure for him to claim his brother’s life.
The medium before him now was the twenty-first he’d found. In truth, the children of Old Factory Street weren’t terribly religious: the reason was simple – even practicing a faith cost money. His memories of the sweet, red tortoise cakes were already hazy. All he really recalls is having them a few times when his parents had been alive. It was only after their passing did the pastries gradually attain a delicious, abstract impression. Growing up thereafter, in paying his respects, Gao Qiqiang did so merely in the most practical and efficient manner. Those days, running his fish stall was busy work, busy beyond belief. The swing of his blade landing on the cutting board sounded from morning till evening. You could find a place to buy the red tortoise cakes from the market. He always bought three: one for Gao Qilan, whose liking for them was modest; two for Gao Qisheng, whose liking for them was greater than his sister’s.
“你执念很深，为什么？”
曾经有巫觋问高启强，高启强正跪在地上捧着一碗符水，三清天尊的塑像居高临下睥睨着高启强。
高启强说：“请师公赐教。”
巫觋摇头晃脑哼唱了一段咒文，双眼半睁半闭看着高启强道：“你心有惧。”
“Your thoughts consume you. Why?”
A shaman had asked him once while Gao Qiqiang knelt, holding a bowl of talisman water. The statues of the Three Pure Ones looking down on him disdainfully.
In response he had said: “Please enlighten me.”
The shaman shook his head and hummed a mantra, regarding him with half-lidded eyes, saying: “Your heart is filled with fear.”
高启强走时仍给了很高的报酬，因此没有人知道究竟怎样说是对的怎样说是错的，无论怎样讲的人就都以为自己说中要害，否则怎么可能得到这样的回报，这个世界上最不缺的就是耳朵，但有时候能听到世俗声音的耳朵才是最无用的。
“善男高启强，你要知，一不可责骂下神，二不能问其死因，三不得招中阴身。你有什么要问的？”
高启强缓缓在问米婆对面坐下，这一个环节他已经经历了二十次，二十次的失望把他推向第二十一次循环，他艰难地咽了一口唾沫，第二十一次耐心地开口：“小盛，你在那边还好吗？”
In leaving, Gao Qiqiang paid him handsomely still. This was so each would think amongst themselves that they had hit the mark. This world did not lack for ears, but useless now were those that heard only secular voices.
“Your benevolence, three things you must know: one, you mustn’t scold the dead; two, you cannot ask their cause of death; three, you cannot search for their rebirth. Now what is it you have to ask?”
Gao Qiqiang slowly sat down across from her. This part he has gone through twenty times before, followed by twenty disappointments, cycling him to this twenty-first attempt. He swallowed hard, opening his mouth for the twenty-first time: “Xiao Sheng, are you well where you are?”
在这之前高启强听过二十次不同的回答，有一次对面的巫觋翻着白眼抽搐起来，指着高启强的鼻子破口大骂高启强的背叛，有三次得到我永远不会原谅你的回答，有六次叫高启强多烧些金银珠宝美女豪车，有十次高启强听到哥哥我原谅你了。
问米婆笑起来，高启强快要在心里数出第十一的时候，她蓦然凑了过来，像一条长着人头的蛇。
“哥哥，我乖吗？”
He has already heard twenty differing answers. One time a medium had even flipped their eye whites, pointing at him and cursing him out for his betrayal. Another three times he’d received the similar ‘I’ll never forgive you.’ spiel. Six times he’d heard demands to burn more gold and silver, jewels and luxuries. And ten times he’d heard he’d been forgiven.
The medium before him smiled. Gao Qiqiang mentally prepared himself to count to eleven, until she suddenly leaned over, unnaturally, like a snake with a human head.
“Ge, have I been good?”
“什么？”
高启强瞪大眼睛，不断重复地问着什么，同时摇摇晃晃从椅子上站起来，但血液在这一刻似乎全部涌向心脏，他在心跳的轰鸣声里踉跄着跪摔在地上，沉重的头颅压着脖子垂到地面，在顷刻之间好像高启强身上的所有肌肉全都变成了虚弱无力的小孩儿玩儿的橡皮泥。
他好不容易抬起头，眼前的场景变成了三清天尊、妈祖、玉皇大帝、地藏王菩萨、药师佛甚至耶稣和圣母，他辗转跪了无数的神，在高启盛死后的49天里，高启强跑遍所有寺庙道观和教堂，他不懂怎么拜不同的神，就用尽力气磕三个头。教义说你只能信一个教、一个神，否则这是亵渎真神，会遭大报应，高启强顾不了那么多，他的报应在高启盛被宣布死亡的时候就已经到了，高启强对着所有神灵磕头，他说小盛是救我才死的，他要是有什么罪，应该全部算到我的头上。
“What?”
His eyes widened, repeating the same word, at the same time rising from his seat, while all his blood seemed to rush to his heart. He staggered to his knees then fell to the ground amidst the roar of his own heartbeat. His head heavier than he’s ever known it, lowering to the ground. Seemingly every muscle in his body turning into soft clay.
With all the effort it took to raise it again, it was as if the scene before him encompassed every major god that had a name. In the forty-nine days after his brother’s death, Gao Qiqiang had knelt in every temple, shrine, and church. He hadn’t known how to properly worship each deity, hoping his sincerest kowtows would suffice. Doctrine mandated that individuals should only keep to one religion or one God, lest it be blasphemy against the true God, courting divine retribution. But he couldn’t care less. His divine retribution had already come to pass. He’d submit himself before any and all. Xiao Sheng had died for his sake. Whatever sins remained on his count should be transferred over to him.
高启盛无儿无女，死在啷当不到半辈子的二十八岁，二十八岁还不整，高启强脑子里反反复复播放弟弟的死亡时间，二十八年前的这一刻，高启盛还没有呱呱坠地，他的小弟弟死在一个还没有而立的日子，高启强脑子像被通了电，除了滋滋啦啦的电流声以外什么都听不见，他只能站在人群的搀扶里，看着殡仪馆的工作人员成为第一个拥抱死去的高启盛的人，高启强甚至都听不见自己的声音，在很远的地方有一张嘴，高启强听到它说：“是我报的警。”
五十岁为上寿，高启强找来师傅，叫人在碑上刻高启盛的生卒年月，1978.10-2028.10，再找两个八字和高启盛相合的孤儿做高启盛的孝子孝女。风言风语大到刮得高启强耳朵生疼，龙卷风有时会卷起海里的鱼虾搬到另一处落下，高启强就好像站在这样怪异的暴雨里，无数条散发着腥臭的死鱼噼里啪啦砸在他的身上，最后将高启强彻底掩埋，但这一刻高启强感受到的居然是一种安全，在熟悉的味道里推开门，他的弟弟就会在门后。
Gao Qisheng had left behind no children, dying at only twenty eight, less than even half a life. His mind tormented him with his brother’s time of death: his little brother had died that day at a time before he’d even been born. It was as if his head was filled with nothing but static. He couldn’t hear anything else. All he could do was stand in the arms of the crowd, watching the funeral staff be the first to embrace the body. Gao Qiqiang couldn’t hear his own voice. Yet there seemed to be a pair of lips speaking: “I was the one who made the call.”
Fifty years was what was considered a life. And so Gao Qiqiang had requested that to be engraved as the date of death instead: 1978.10 - 2028.10. He then had two more orphans found, who matched the dates of Gao Qisheng’s horoscope, to be made his filial son and daughter. The gossip had been so loud that his ears almost bled. Tornados sometimes whipped up creatures from the sea only to rain them down elsewhere. Gao Qiqiang felt as if he himself was swept up in such a bizarre storm, pelted by all sorts of putrid nonsense until he’d be buried alive. But now, he’s finally found a moment of reprieve. Comforted, he continued. His little brother was waiting for him.
他求了一串佛珠，高僧说只要他不断转动佛珠为弟弟念经就能超度高启盛的罪恶，保他下一世平平安安，高启强一分一秒都不敢怠慢，高僧说高启盛在阴间过得不如意，三个字就叫高启强的胃拧在一起，他对着高启盛的牌位拜了又拜，他说小盛，有什么需要的你就来哥哥梦里跟哥哥讲，哥哥全都给你，你要在那边过得好好的。
可是高启盛死在自己的生日，这是最大的不吉，按风俗六十年内都不能被亲人上坟祭拜，否则每一次祭拜都要成为逝者在地府的一道鞭，高启强害怕这会是真的，即便到了墓园也不敢下车，在小龙小虎去扫墓的时候，高启强就坐在车里不断地转动着佛珠念经，如果这能让小盛的灵魂得到一点点安宁也是好的。
In begging for a string of prayer beads, the head monk had told him his brother’s sins could be overcome as long as he kept turning them and chanting prayers, allowing for safe passage into the next life. A duty he hadn’t neglected a minute nor even a second. The monk had also said that Gao Qisheng had an unsatisfactory existence in the underworld – those words causing his stomach to twist, bowing before his tablet again and again, praying for Xiao Sheng to visit him in his dreams and tell him what he needed, anything that was in his power to give he’d provide.
But he had died on his own birthday, and that was the most ominous sign of all, banning relatives from worshipping at the deceased’s grave for sixty years according to custom. Else each worship and sacrifice would become a whip lashing the dead in the underworld. He couldn’t take that chance, remaining in his car every time he drove to the cemetery. While Xiaolong Xiaohu swept the grave and paid their respects, Gao Qiqiang persisted with prayer beads and scripture. Hoping any amount could provide Xiao Sheng with a bit of peace.
然而一切都如泥牛入海，高启强没有梦到过弟弟一次，高启盛似乎真的彻底消失了，没有任何回应，有一次高启强梦见他站在地狱门口，他说小盛在哪里？鬼差桀桀冷笑，说你的好弟弟正在油锅里翻滚，哪顾得上见你？
从此高启强开始不断地寻找巫觋，高启盛在哪里，高启盛到底在哪里，他每次都能找到的弟弟这次再也找不到了，高启强像在河这边无数次踏上高桥，但每一座桥都是由人的贪欲搭成，还不等他过半就在月光里融化。高启强只能依然给每个人都以很高的报酬，这样他们就会相信自己说对了，猜准了，而真正会搭桥的那个人才敢逆所有人而为。
他从来不惧高启盛的鬼魂。
But it had all been in vain. Gao Qisheng hadn’t visited. It was as if every trace of him had disappeared, nothing. He once dreamed of himself standing at the gates of the underworld, calling out, but all he had gotten in reply was a demon, sneering, saying that his little brother was burning in oil, and couldn’t find the time to see him.
That was when he started looking for a proper medium in earnest. Where was his brother? He needed to know. There’s never been a time before when he couldn’t find him. In false hope, he seemed to have stepped on the high bridge numerous times this side of the river, only to find every bridge composed of human greed, unable to let him pass even halfway through before melting away in the moonlight. Yet all he could do was continue to pay them generously, so that the one guarding the real bridge would dare to go against the grain.
He has never feared Gao Qisheng’s ghost.
高启强紧紧抱住老妪，这个拥抱来得太迟太险了，弟弟是他手中一条滑溜溜的鱼，抓得不够紧就会沉进泥潭不见了。
“好乖的，乖仔。”
“问到了吗？”
高启强抬起头，老妪的眼睛像鹰一般注视着他，她没有真的在问高启强什么，高启盛的泪痕还留在她的脸上，但高启强知道高启盛已经走了，就像他知道高启盛来过一样。
“问到了。”
高启强郑重地磕了三个头。
“问到了。”
Gao Qiqiang embraced the old woman tightly, the hug coming much too late and much too desperate. But his brother has always been slippery. If he doesn’t hold tight, he’ll sink into the mires and disappear.
“You were the best.”
“Were you able to reach him?”
He raised his head. The woman’s eyes watched him like an eagle, as Gao Qisheng’s tears remained on her face. And he knew that just as suddenly as he had come, he had also left.
“I was.”
He solemnly kowtowed three times.
I was.