Work Text:
You check yourself in the cheap mirror that hung atop your bedroom door, it was cracked but it did the job well enough. You sigh deeply as you look yourself up and down. You were incredibly sweaty, no deodorant could save the pit stains that covered your shirt. “This is fine.” You say to yourself. “Not nervous for this date at all.” Yep. You were on your way to a small local coffee shop where you would meet up with Mort. You could already picture his warm smile in your head, his eyes sparkling and his dimples prominent. You sigh dreamily as you try to redirect your thoughts. You were going to be late if you didn’t hurry it up. So at that you scurry to collect your things and head out the door. It’s a short walk up the block.
So soon you were at the coffee shop. And there stood Mort. He looked as hot as ever of course. Well dressed in a fancy peacoat and scarf as it was winter time. He also had a beanie on his head.
“I’m thrilled that you have finally made it.” Mort smiles warmly.
“Me too! I-I’ve been looking forward to this.” You stammer a bit, seeming a bit nervous.
“Me too, let’s order a coffee shall we? Stand here any longer and we’ll be on our way to coffin town.” Mort wheezes as he laughs at his own joke.
His laugh is so delightful. You smile. “Good god.” You mumble.
We stepped up to order our coffee, Mort seemed extra jittery, as he spoke while ordering his coffee. His order seemed so elaborate. Butter pecan and a shot of mocha and caramel and a whole lot of sugar. Suppose an extra sweet coffee was fitting a man as sweet as him. Your smile grows.
You order your coffee and once you get it the two of you sit down in a nice quiet corner of the coffee shop. It’s quiet for a minute as you sip your coffees however the silence is broken when Mort pipes up.
“Did you know there was actually a murder up the street from here.”
“Really? A murder?”
“Yeah.” Mort nods. “It was crazy, the guy was on some kinda drug, I think it was heroin or somethin’ of that nature. Anyway, he stabbed a poor homeless man who was living on the bench a block away.” Mort went on to explain sipping his coffee between each run on sentence he spoke. “I of course got to perform the autopsy on the man’s body. It was brutal! I think he had a thousand stab wounds. It was crazy. And very tragic, his family was small it consisted of mostly his close friends, the funeral was very touching, it actually made me cry and that doesn’t happen a lot, I’ve fallen asleep during a funeral before, and boy..heh, it was pretty embarrassing because I started snoring, but the people actually appreciated it because I lightened everyone’s mood. They told me that they hadn’t felt much joy before their loved one passed so I really made the experience so much more memorable for them.” Mort seemed to keep going on for what felt like forever.
His voice was so soothing you did not mind how much he was talking, the sound of his accent felt good to your ears. You began to melt into your seat like a puddle of goo, practically becoming much like the coffee that you were sharing with Mort. You could listen to him go on for hours on end.
“That’s what makes being a funeral director worth it, it’s a sorrow filled job especially when everyone is mourning, so I enjoy the fact I can make someone’s day much better by accidentally falling asleep during the service. Grief comes with some of the hardest emotions to process sometimes as well. It’s never easy, so every little moment is cherished as much as possible.” Mort finishes finally.
As he spoke you had not only melted but you were leaning on the table drooling quite a lot. Caught in a daze almost entranced by Mort’s soft spoken voice. He noticed this.
“Hey uh, are you ok? Did I talk too much? I tend to go on long tangents that might not always appeal to others.” He seems embarrassed and his cheeks turn red.
You snap back into reality when Mort waves his hand in front of your face. “What? Oh yeah, I’m totally ok.” You smile. “I was just lost in thought.” You say as you fidget with your coffee.
“Ah, that’s a relief. For a moment I thought perhaps I scared you. I don’t always remember to put on a filter when I speak.” His face reddens.
“Of course not, to tell the truth I enjoyed how much you just talked and talked.” I say sincerely.
“Gee! Well no one has ever told me that.”
You laugh, “well, I am.”
“Thank you.” Mort leans in closer to you, his eyes close as he melts into the moment and gives you a soft kiss on the lips he tastes like the overtly sweet coffee he was drinking, drowning your mouth in the buttery pecan caramel filled taste of his mouth.
You start to blush like mad, your face redder than a cherry at this point. “Wow. I uh. Hah. Thank you.”
Morts blush deepened. “Wowers-haha.” He says in shock. “I don’t know what came over me, you just were so tempting, and quite cute.”
“Well, you are also quite hot, and I think I’d like to kiss you too.” You lean in and also give mort a quick kiss. You smile and your face is red hot.
“Golly! That was quite the kiss, I would love to do this more often with you.” Mort says.
“As would I.” You smile; and you're still flushed in the face.
The two of you are quiet now, enjoying the nice piping hot coffees. You finish them feeling warm inside.
“This was a lovely little date, I can’t wait for our next, I’m so thrilled I could lay down in a casket and die.” Mort squeals.
“Oh! Please don’t do that.” You say.
“I joke, I would never really do that. If I’m going to do that you better be next to me!”
Your blush deepens if that’s even possible you looked more ridiculous than a bright red lobster. “Oh boy oh boy, yeah.” You nod.
“I’ll be seeing you again, thanks for the coffee. It was a delight.” Mort smiles, showing off those cute dimples of his. “Love ya.” He gives a quick peck on the cheek as a parting gift.
“Yeah…I’ll I’ll see you..again.” You stammer barely able to form sentences as he kisses your cheek. “I love you..too.” You squeak.