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Marcy just wanted all the pain to go away. She doesn’t deserve this. She has always put so much live out into the world, but now she was starting to think that maybe the world didn’t love her back.
Why Marcy? Why is it always Marcy? The world must have something against her, because why is it always her who has something bad going on?
Bad thing after bad thing after bad thing.
She could never catch a break.
She just wishes things would go back to normal. Back to the days where the three of them could do the usual without anything getting in the way of their fun. She misses the the k-pop dances and doing pranks in school.
She misses her friends.
They were important to her.
But clearly, she isn’t as important to them as she thought she was.
They wanted her to feel hurt, they hate her. The flirting and touching from across the classroom and immediately looking up at her and waving like everything’s normal, or the visible irritation in their faces whenever she asked to tag along with them if they were going somewhere, or excluding her from hangouts and going without her knowing.
I mean, they were dating. There’s always going to be a time where a couple wants to spend time together with just the two of them. But still, they doesn’t make the pain subside.
If anything, that just meant her efforts were for nothing.
The whole purpose of her trapping the two of them in amphibia was so that they three of them could be together forever with no one to get in the way. But clearly that didn’t work, because the only thing Marcy got out of going to amphibia was trauma, earfuls from her parents every single day, and her two friends getting closer to each other and leaving her out of everything. Sure, she always knew that nothing ever lasts forever and things were bound to change, and that went for everyone on earth. But still, Marcy just couldn’t accept the fact that they weren’t the calamity trio like how they used to be. Anne and Sasha had only started dating for a few weeks, and every week that passed by Marcy just got worse. The only thing Marcy got out of any of this, was regret. She regret trapping them in amphibia. She absolutely hated seeing them so happy with each other while she was on the verge of ending it all. It was toxic, and she knew it. And she knew she was starting to take on some manipulative habits from her father. But she didn’t care anymore, she stopped caring a while ago. She had that mindset ever since they left amphibia and she’s been doing good with it. The thought of it makes her seethe with rage.
She gave them everything.
She’s the reason they are who they are now.
She’s the reason they’ve grown close to each other.
She’s the reason they’ve had such good development.
She gave them it all.
And then they sit there and spit it right back in her face?
She got stabbed wanting to be with them and they take her efforts for granted?
What dedicated person doesn’t get impaled for their friends?
She wants to hate them, but she can’t. She can’t hate them for being in love with each other, it’s stupid. And they’re her best friends, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself she hates them, she knows that deep down she will always have a strong love for them. She should have kept to herself. She shouldn’t have opened up her heart. Now look at her, all heart broken. She should have listened to her mother to stop being an emotional bitch because it would get her taken advantage of. She should have closed herself off from everyone, she shouldn’t have allowed herself to get attached. She should have listened to her guy a long time ago when she was thinking about distancing herself from Anne and Sasha.
No matter how hard she tried to keep them out of her head, they just pop right back in there. Anne’s big heart and her gentleness with her sweet little raspy voice. Sasha with her beautiful blonde hair and pale skin, always protecting people. With people like that it was hard to stop thinking about them. They were on her mind the whole entire weekend no matter how hard she tried not to think about them. Thinking about them only brought her pain. And now that she thinks about it, thinking about them has always brought her pain.
It only made sense as to why they were called the calamity trio.
They weren’t meant to be, they’re just like a curse. They only bring pain.
“ca·lam·i·ty“
An event causing great and often sudden damage or distress; a disaster.
See?
This was bound to happen. Things are always meant to change no matter how big or small the difference. She saw it coming, but she can’t help but still be sad about it. Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever.
And what was happening to Marcy just proved it.
When will Marcy get her happy ending?
Why was the world against her?
Why did everyone get to be happy and not her?
Why does Sasha get to date Anne?
Why does Anne get to date Sasha?
Why do they get to date each other!?
When will she have a happy family?
It seemed like never.
Marcy was losing hope. She stopped caring, stopped showing emotion. She was no longer interested in the things she used to have such strong passion for anymore. Nothing makes her happy anymore. The only thing that made her happy was her girls. But they aren’t there anymore, so she gave up on everything. They were the only ones who supported her and encouraged her on everything. Not family, not foe, no one but them. Now, they don’t make her happy anymore, they hurt her instead. She can’t stand to look at them without feeling a big pang in her heart knowing that nothing will ever be the same and that they will never be together forever just as promised in amphibia. She already has enough going on, why go out and see the main source of your problems? Without her girls, she’s nothing. What was the point of living if Marcy didn’t have her girls?
She remembers the first day they announced that they were dating. They were over the moon to let her know the big news. Right on the day she was gonna confess her feelings too. But oh well “suck it up Marcy like you’ve always been doing!” Just as her mother said. They looked too happy, she would do anything to see the beautiful smiles on their faces. She couldn’t rain on their parade with her negativity.
The first week they started dating, she could feel them slowly drifting away from her day by day. Going on trips without her or walking down the school hall hand in hand early in the morning to class without even waiting on her anymore. She hated it. She was tired of being in pain. So she felt like the best decision to make was to avoid them. Walk past them like they’re invisible, it may hurt them, but at least you’ll spare yourself. Yeah, she knew they were a couple, and of course they were gonna wanna spend time together without Marcy being there all the time. But she didn’t care, she cherished their friendship deeply and wasn’t going to let logic change her opinion. Even if they didn’t reciprocate her feelings she still would have been just as happy if they could remain best friends and do the things they usually do.
She didn’t want to be selfish.
She just wants things to go back to the way they were.
She just wishes all of this was a dream and she could wake up and they are all besties or at least all three of them being in a relationship.
She wished she could just be happy for them and throw away all these horrid thoughts.
But like I said, they only brought her pain now.
All weekend, she stayed in her room drowning in her own thoughts. Her parents would scold her about her attendance and her grades but she didn’t care anymore. Only when they got really serious to the point where they started screaming is when she went. Which was yesterday to be exact.
She didn’t even care to wear her uniform. She wore a basic white T-shirt and black baggy sweatpants.
Everyone stared at her. Teachers asked her questions with worry in their eyes at her appearance. Students trying to talk to her for test answers. It was kind of weird seeing peoples reaction to her coming back to school after a week. The gut wrenching look of her some of the students at the sight of her with wild messy hair, dark bags under her bloodshot eyes was kinda weird. It was weird seeing them so disturbed by it, usually everyone always saw her as some pawn in a game to come for just to get some test answers. She was freaked out seeing everyone worry.
Especially about the thin scars littering both of her wrists.
She had told everyone it was cat scratches just to get people off her back which seemed to have worked in a way, but some people were still a little suspicious.
She didn’t care though.
She hates everything.
She was too hurt.
And once you’re crying about something that hurt you, you’re crying about everything that went wrong in your life.
Well, that’s just how it goes.
Worst of all, what hurt her the most was the sight of her two best friends. Just standing at the end of the hall looking all happy and flirting. They didn’t even take nor one glance at her, I didn’t even think they knew she had come to school, nor did they care.
Marcy sat on her bed with bad thoughts roaming through her mind. She was done with everything. She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know whether curl up in a ball on the floor and roll around while crying, trash her room out of anger, or jump around in joy. So, she just sat there on her bed, emotionless.
She had no more tears left to cry.
She’d already cried her eyes dry. But hey, only love can hurt like this.
She sighed as she stood up from her bed. She ambled over to the small bathroom connected to her bedroom and took a sip of the cold glass of water sitting on the wide countertop.
She then gently set the glass of water back down where it was and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Jeez, she sure did look fucked up. She eyes the scars on her arms and legs like a hawk. It honestly was kind of satisfying for her. She was amazed at how many scars there were on her body. It made her want to do it more.
Slowly, she picked up the knife from the counter that still had some dried blood on it from a few days ago. Well actually, it was a box cutter, but it was very sharp so she figured it would do the trick.
Amazed, she touched the tip of the blade with her index finger tip. She then watched in adoration as the blood seeped out of the little prick on her finger in a dot form.
She lifted her wrist, staring at it for a while, contemplating on whether she should do it or not all while the gut feeling that something was gonna go very wrong was hitting her.
Marcy shrugged. Yolo!
Oh well, not like everything isn’t already bad.
She dragged the sharp blade against the skin of her wrist in a perfectly straight like. Jeez, her parents fucked up her mindset so bad that even her self harm scars have to be perfect. She smiled to herself at what she had just accomplished and watched the deep crimson blood drip down her wrist and onto the floor. The silence in the room was so loud, that even that one drop of blood that fell onto the floor almost hurt her ears.
Again, she dragged the blade against another spot on her arm that was empty.
And soon
1 cut
2 cuts
…
17 cuts…
On each arm.
She lifted her arms where she could see them feeling happy at how she tortured herself. She quietly giggled to herself, the sound of it almost unsettling.
From giggling, went to crying. It was sad, how low she stooped. She dropped to her knees as tears flowed from her eyes. She couldn’t even sob, her throat hurt from all the sobbing she had done before. So she was just sitting there alone, on her bathroom floor in which now looked like a crime scene from all the blood she lost. All she could do was sniffle, wondering as to why she was never good enough for anyone.
She hadn't even heard the bathroom door creak open. Yet, behind her a honey sweet voice called out
“Marcy…?”
Marcy would be lying if she said she hadn’t shit her pants right then and there at the feeling of knowing she’d been caught. But she chose not to show it on the outside, not like she even could. Tears flowed from her blood shot eyes and with the straightest face she said
“Hey Sash, I missed you. Why haven’t you come to see me?”
The blonde covered her mouth in utter shock, not believing what she was seeing. And in the saddest and guiltiest tone ever, she muttered
“Oh Marcy…” she shook her head side to side rushing to Marcy’s aid and embracing her, holding her tightly against her chest as she buried her face in her hair.
She quickly grabbed her phone and rang up an ambulance, rocking Marcy backing forth in the face of it. Marcy still sniffling and crying, whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again as she spoke to the operator.
Sasha spoke gently in a low tone. “Someone’s on their way, we’re gonna get you help okay mar-mar?”
She took hold of her hand, caressing it with her thumb. She got fresh blood all over her clothes, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was for her best friend to be okay, that’s all.
“I’m sorry, I’m getting blood on your clothes.” Said Marcy, so quietly that it was almost inaudible.
Typical Marcy. So sweet and kind always worrying about the littlest things. You could literally stab her and she’ll still apologize for bleeding on your clothes.
“Don’t worry about that M-“
“Why didn’t you guys come see me? I was really sad. We were supposed to be together forever, just like you promised!” She whined.
Sasha didn’t know what to say, at all. That’s because there was nothing for her to say. It was all her fault that she switched from happy go lucky Marcy to this disaster in just a short span of a few weeks. She was wrong, she was wrong for failing to realize how much leaving her out could affect her. Especially when she already knew her struggles with not wanting to be by herself. Just as she said
‘I just… didn’t wanna be alone.’
At that point, Marcy had started to feel light headed and tired.
“Sasha, I don’t feel so good.”
Those were all the words needed to shatter the last bits and pieces of the blondes heart.
She took hold of Marcy’s face, staring deeply into her half lidded eyes. “Ohnonononono Marcy come on don’t do this to me…” Her voice cracked.
It all dawned on her. Soon enough… the walls… the walls of the innocent home they used to play games in as kids turned rotten in her eyes and began crumbling down on her. That’s what it felt like.
She sounded like she was on the verge of a break down. And you know you’ve really done it once you’re able to make Sasha sound that way. The strongest person ever, always so confident and protective of everyone. The one to always keep her composure in even the most scariest situations was getting ready to cry. She hadn’t heard Sasha sound like that in years.
It kind of shocked her.
She gave her an assuring smile, fighting to hold back the tears that threatened to pour out of her eyes like a waterfall. “Hey hey hey hey hey! Everything’s gonna be okay! And once you’re better we can all be together
forever and ever! We will be the best of friends! Just like you’ve always wanted, I promise! Okay!?”
No response.
“Okay?”
No response.
“Okay…?”
No response.
“Marbles?”
No response.
“mar-mar?”
No response.
“Marce…?”
No response.
“Marcy?”
No response.
She called out again. “Marcy.” This time her voice more stern.
“Marcy come on this isn’t funny! Get up so we can pull pranks on people and go shopping like we always have!” She shouted, starting to feel a mix of anger and desperation building up in her chest.
Silence.
“MARCY!!!”
———————————
Sasha waited anxiously in the hospital room. There were only two visitors allowed in at a time, so Anne sat with her and waited by her side. She could not stop the horrid thoughts swarming around in her head. Anything could happen, she could possibly lose her best friend. The person who made her who she is today all by trapping her somewhere for ten months. All over her feeling left out. She should have communicated better. She shouldn’t have shown all of her attention to just Anne. She should have realized that Marcy wasn’t okay.
It all adds up.
The random stares from the across the classroom, the glint of sadness in her eyes whenever she smiled at them, it all made so much sense now.
Sasha was jolted back to reality when she heard a sudden squeaky cough come from her left ear. Her eyes widened, and she immediately rushed over to the hospital bed where Marcy laid, half lidded, Anne doing the same thing.
“Marcy! How are you? Are you okay love!?” Sasha frantically interrogated her, grabbing her bandage wrapped wrist with a little bit of strength to her grasp. Marcy winced at the pain of the sudden force around the scars on her wrist, also looking visibly embarrassed at the pet name.
Anne didn’t waste not even a second to start scolding the blonde for her stupid actions. “Dude be gentle with her she just woke up dumbass!”
“Sorry sorry! I’m just worried.”
Marcy tried to get a couple of words out, but her voice was super raspy and Anne cut her off before she could even finish what she wanted to say.
“Shh! Don’t talk if you don’t feel comfortable.” She gently rubbed Marcy’s hand with her thumb.
Sasha was just glad her friend was alright. She had already dealt with seeing her almost die once, this was her second time. She was almost sure that Marcy was gone for good. But now, she had to fulfill her promise, the right way this time. She was going to make sure they were together forever with nothing to ever get in the way and try to knock them off their feet. Forever and ever they will always be what people called them, “the calamity trio.”
In sync, both Anne and Sasha said, “Hey Marce?”
…
“Always and forever, we love you.”
She flinched at the sentence, tears forming in her eyes almost immediately. Just like that, all her worries of being unwanted and not good enough were completely washed away and replaced with a feeling of love and happiness. The depressed feeling may still be there for all her other issues, but with this particular situation, all her worries were gone within the snap of a finger.
With a face flushed and a relieved smile taking over her lips, she responded, “I love you too.”