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Tarik Torgaddon's bare arms flexed as he raised a big pitcher of cloudy, tan-colored tea and poured it onto another pitcher on the table. The shirtless Astartes then lifted the second pitcher in the air and, setting the first on the table, poured the tea back into it.
"So you've got your standard milk tea, chilled and ready to drink. But wait! I can make it better. By pouring the tea from height from one vessel to the other, I make it nice and foamy. Plus, everybody gets to see my stunning transhuman arm muscles in action."
Tarik poured the tea back and forth several more times, never spilling a drop. His muscles may as well have been sparkling with supernatural beauty. A small crowd of Sons of Horus and legion serfs and even a Remembrancer were gathered to watch the show. Some of the humans had their hands on their chins, practically swooning.
After a hard training session, the Sons of Horus were undressed down to their loincloths and ready for a refreshing drink.
"I call it…Teh Tarik," he said proudly, pouring the frothy contents of the pitcher into a set of metal cups, one for each member of the Mournival.
The Astartes took a swig out of his cup and made exaggerated smacking noises. "Wow! That's the good stuff."
The entire time, Garviel Loken watched him with awe, admiring his senior's beauty and skill.
"Go on, try it," Tarik said, offering a cup.
Garviel took the cup in his hands and brought it to his lips. The tea, a mix of herbs, spices, and fortifying vitamins and minerals, was earthy and sweet, and creamy from the addition of sweetened condensed milk. In truth, it was just the standard shake mix Astartes drank while deployed in battle, watered down and fancied up a bit. It wasn't caffeinated, because caffeine had no effect on Astartes at the concentrations available in even the most potent tea leaves. Rather, it was a blend of ingredients "designed to sustain the energy levels of their transhuman physiques throughout the day". But the fancying up made all the difference.
"What do you think, huh? Do I make a fine cuppa Teh Tarik?" asked Tarik, brushing his hand through his dark hair in a self-assured way.
"I like it," replied Garviel, his eyes wide and glistening with awe, or so Tarik hoped.
"Aw thanks, Garvi." Tarik was so happy to show the new guy his special recipe, and even happier to hear those words.
Ezekyle Abaddon and Little Horus Aximand, meanwhile, were not so charmed.
"Impressing the new guy, aren't you?" Ezekyle crossed his arms. "I remember the first time you showed me 'Teh Tarik', and the entire time I thought 'Our friend Tarik Torgaddon can't possibly be the first person in the history of humanity to create foamy milk tea by pouring it from container to container. Humanity has existed for such a long time, and in such great numbers, that surely he would learn of a pre-existing tradition if he did the barest amount of research in the Vengeful Spirit's archives.'"
"Oh, Abby here is such a critic. Did the inventors of those other foamy milk teas use my specific recipe, designed to nourish the Legiones Astartes? Were they 7-foot giants of men with these arm muscles? I think not." The Luna Wolf put up his hands and grinned his pearly grin. Perhaps his teeth should have sparkled like diamonds for dramatic effect.
Garviel chuckled. A number in the audience erupted in laughter, and Abaddon and Little Horus couldn't help but snort too. Perhaps there were humans in the crowd who wanted to object, saying "on my home planet they have something called…" but it was difficult to stand up to such a huge man as Tarik.
"Well, I do like your version," said Little Horus.
But anyhow, in the history of humanity, it wasn't so important who invented a thing as who made the thing famous. It was all about charisma power. And Tarik Torgaddon was nothing but charismatic, the kind of friendly energy that could sell millions of branded teasets, electric water kettles, or packets of his "Famous Teh Tarik".
Ezekyle, Little Horus, and Garviel drank their cups as they watched Tarik pull more tea from a gigantic tank to make more batches, so that everyone in the crowd had at least one helping, even the humans, who got a different recipe suitable for their sensitive digestive systems. The Captain was generous when he wanted to be. Finally, satisfied that his work was finished, Tarik sat down beside the rest of the Mournival.
"I remember when I first introduced my tea recipe to Hastur Sejanus. He was onboard with the name 'Teh Tarik' and everything. Abaddon and Little Horus were just as grumpy as they are now."
"It's not like we were angry ," Abaddon objected, playfully slapping him on the shoulder.
"That was a joke," Tarik laughed. " Well, pretty soon, me and Hastur Sejanus would make 'Teh Tarik' for everyone after a long sparring session. Everyone would be all hot and sweaty, and Hastur, beautiful man, would be all gleaming with sweat too, was ready to sit down and rest. But he would still offer to help me out. He had such impressive arms, and all eyes were on him. Perhaps I should have named it 'Teh Hastur' instead, but he insisted that since I came up to with it, 'Teh Tarik' was perfect."
Tarik felt a foot poking his calf. Ezekyle and Little Horus snorted at his false modesty.
"But that's what happened! He was so modest. And everything else about him was impressive, too, not just his arms or his personality. I mean, we all used the same shower afterwards, so there was nothing to hide. Those were good days."
The group nodded, remembering their dead friend. Garviel wondered, when Hastur Sejanus was so great and lovable, if he could ever be good enough a member of the quartet to take his place.
"He had such beautiful lips. Like a master artist sculpted them. And when he was done drinking my tea there would be a layer of foam on them," Tarik said, looking directly at Garviel.
The Astartes had gotten all dreamy eyed. Tarik cherished the memory of him and Hastur Sejanus kissing in the shower, the water glistening on skin the color of smoky quartz, a bit of herb-flavored foam still on each other's lips. He hoped the memory would not fade as he grew older. Sejanus could only live on as a memory, after all.
"Ah yes, the four of us in the shower while the two of you were making out," Ezekyle said, smacking his lips and making a crude hand gesture. He was wise to Tarik's flirting attempt.
Garviel's ears started to tingle. He looked around at the members of the crowd taking their sweet time to finish their drinks and leave. Captain Abaddon was talking about "making out" in front of all these other people. He didn't know why he was feeling funny, since he was aware that people "made out" all the time. He had even seen the other members of the Mournival naked.
Perhaps because it was coming from these Captains he'd admired for so long, and there was a chance the other members of the Mournival wanted to make out with him . Wanted to do more than kiss. He'd never broached the topic before, fearing rejection. Surely Captain Torgaddon wasn't suggesting it could happen today?
"Come on Ezekyle, you're embarrassing the new guy," Tarik clapped a hand on his back.
"He's been in the legion for a while. Surely he's aware of what goes on in the showers," Captain Abaddon replied.
"Showering, making out, other stuff . It's nothing to be ashamed of! We all did it. Everyone does it," Little Horus added.
"Heh, the four of us had no secrets between us. Hard to keep secrets on this ship, anyhow. And that's how it will be now Garvi's here. Right?" Tarik asked
"Y-You mean the four of you were doing other stuff with each other?" asked Garviel, clearly flustered.
Several body parts were prickling right now. The Mournival was having sex? With each other? Was there a chance of the three of them doing more than kissing him? He wondered if he could even measure up to Hastur Sejanus. Such a beautiful and perfect man had to be great at making love.
"Haven't you heard?" asked Little Horus. Surely Captain Loken wasn't that oblivious.
"Ah, umm…" Garviel started to speak. "I didn't realize that's what they meant."
The other three laughed, thumping Garviel on his shoulders. It was adorable how dense he could be.
They talked for a bit more about Hastur Sejanus, reminding Loken of the lofty position he was meant to fill. The language was crude and graphic, and there was certainly a lot of filling involved. And swallowing, and pulling.
Pretty soon, all the tea was gone and there was nowhere to go but the showers. Garviel's hearts were certainly beating fast the entire way there.