Chapter Text
“Should I call you V or Chris?”
Mizael is looking up at him expectantly.
It isn’t unusual for Mizael to appear at their workplace, but typically he’s there to see Kaito. However, today for some unfathomable reason he opted to pick up a forgotten textbook at the time Kaito is always picking Haruto up from school.
It’s a schedule Mizael is undoubtedly aware of, making his visit incredibly strange.
“Either is fine,” Christopher manages with a polite smile.
Mizael rolls his eyes. “Kaito told me you’d say that.”
He reaches over to pull up an empty desk chair to the space where Christopher is working and sits down, leaning back and folding his arms as if to indicate he expects this conversation to take some time.
Christopher suspects it might.
“I find it difficult to believe you don’t have any preference,” Mizael continues.
Christopher tilts his head slightly.
“It’s not so much a matter of preference as it is of convenience,” he admits. “Most people call me V because that was the name I used when I met them. So it makes sense to keep using that name.”
Mizael nods, leaning forward. “And you went by ‘Chris’ when Kaito met you?”
“Christopher is the name I was born with.”
It would be foolish to say it’s the name his father gave him. He gave him the name ‘V’ too, after all.
“But Haruto had trouble saying it when he was little, so I told him to just call me Chris. It was a nickname my brothers used when they were little as well. Kaito got in the habit of using it too I suppose.”
“I see.”
Mizael looks up at Christopher, searching his expression for any indication of his feelings on the name perhaps, or maybe his feelings about Kaito’s insistence on using it still. But Chris is very practiced at keeping a neutral facade, and continues to flip through pages of lab notes as Mizael studies him.
After a moment Mizael gives up waiting on his reply, leaning back in his chair once more.
“Nasch says he doesn’t care what we call him all the time too. But some days he doesn’t want to hear the name Nasch, and others he can’t handle Ryouga. His preference seems to vary,” Mizael says, idly straightening the corners of the papers on the desk.
“His situation is a bit more complicated than mine,” Christopher says simply.
“Certainly. They’re different lives he’s lived, and is living. And there are different people involved in them with different expectations. I think he gets frustrated with how they overlap at times, more than anything.”
“You’ve all lived multiple lives, though, haven’t you?” Christopher asks.
It’s a pathetic attempt to shift the conversation away from himself that he knows Mizael won’t fall for.
“Yes. But I’ve been called by the same name in all of them,” Mizael says, resting his head in his hand as he looks up at Christopher expectantly. “I think it’s the constant reminder that he’s living multiple lives at once that sets him off. He can tell what people are expecting of him from what they call him. But sometimes it doesn’t match where his head is in the moment.”
“That makes sense,” Christopher says.
Mizael is a lot like Kaito he thinks. Earnest, and straightforward, but the way he thinks is so different from the way Christopher does that he often finds him difficult to understand regardless.
Mizael is smiling up at him as if Christopher has once again made a miscalculation in a duel, and he’s set up to win as soon as he ends his turn.
“Which name would you say suits the life you’re living now then?” Mizael asks.
Christopher frowns.
He was a different person when he went by Chris. His brothers stopped using that name years ago, choosing to refer to him more formally upon their return.
Kaito still insists on using the name, in much the same way as he used to adorn his computer desktop with old happier photos of himself and Haruto while Haruto was gravely ill and incapable of smiling anymore. A wishful bit of sentimentality, Christopher thinks.
He’s not as optimistic about such things himself. While the original intention of revenge behind his V persona had long since dulled with the name’s everyday use, he can’t begin to forget all his transgressions associated with it. It’s very much the reason he thinks he’ll never really feel like Chris again.
Ultimately, he feels very much like neither Chris nor V most days.
But that isn’t something he cares to explain to Mizael, or anything he suspects Mizael is expecting to hear.
He taps his fingers lightly on the desk.
“If we’re operating under the premise that names represent different lives, then I suppose the correct name for you to call me would be Chris,” he says.
Mizael lifts his head slightly. “Oh? And why is that?”
Chris smiles. “I would consider you to be an extension of the life Kaito knew me in,” he answers.
As he anticipated, Mizael looks a bit taken aback, his face burning red at the mention of Kaito.
“… is that so?”
Chris nods.
“Very much so.”
It’s not the most graceful move, knocking the conversation back to Mizael’s increasingly apparent fascination with Kaito, but Chris doesn’t enjoy being on the defensive in his own lab.
And he’s never been especially kind or graceful. It’s best Mizael learns that quickly.