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You and Katsuki had been together for just over a year when he gets the call.
They tell him it had been a quirk accident, a villain losing control when faced with capture. You had been on your way back to your agency, your shift long since over and already running late to meet Katsuki when you had come across a bank robbery in progress. It hadn’t mattered that you should have been back home an hour ago, or that you had plans with the blonde. You were still in uniform, a hero through and through, so you had gone after the robbers, confident that you would succeed and be on your way again quickly.
You had always been a little overconfident though, so sure of yourself and the other heroes you surrounded yourself with. It’s one of the reason Katsuki had even spoken to you in the first place, annoyed when you had shrugged off your teams concerns when discussing a raid on a drug smugglers base of operations. It had pissed him off enough that Katsuki had stayed behind to yell at you, convince you would be a reckless liability. You had proven him wrong though, your confidence well earned and resulting in a dozen criminals in custody. He had been impressed though still angry about your blatant disregard for your own safety, but it wasn’t like you were the first hero like that and he doubted you would be the last.
Somewhen after that things had changed, Katsuki had actually started noticing you, had actually gone out of his way to talk to you and listen to what you were saying. It wasn’t long after that the two of you had fallen into bed together, a late-night patrol ending in a collision of desires and needs that Katsuki wasn’t used to.
That’s all it had been for a while, a couple of months of stress relief and an exercise of a different kind but the more time you spent together the more Katsuki had realised that it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush, to waist time that could be spent doing better and more important things. So, he had been upfront and told you exactly what he had wanted. It had shocked everyone when not even five months into knowing each other you had gone public with your relationship, neither you nor Katsuki wanting to give anyone the impression of what was yours was still available.
The two of you had continued at that speed, already moving in together barely six months after you had started dating. Not even hair for brains and raccoon eyes were living together yet and they had been being disgustingly lovey dovey with each other since their second year at U.A. There had been some concerns that you were moving to fast, both of your friends worried that you relationship would burn out and that the fallout that followed would be explosive and not just because of Katsuki’s quirk. Neither of you had seen it like that though, knowing you wanted to be together. You worked well together and the fact that things could go wrong didn’t change that. Yours was no different to any other relationship and neither of you had seen the point in worrying about something that may never happen. So, the two of you had continued forward, happy with your lives.
Things had been pretty good for the most part, sure you had the odd little argument but it was never about anything catastrophic and was normal resolved in a day or two, the guilty party apologising after having either coming to their senses or having someone else tell them they were wrong. Katsuki wasn’t really the best at saying sorry, but neither were you so at least you both knew how difficult it had been for the other. You got on well though, both of you relatively clean and tidy people with few little decretive items that were just pointless clutter in the home. You like the same kind of food, had the same sense of humour and the sex was all kinds of amazing, so it wasn’t like either of you had a reason to complain.
Katsuki was certain he loved you. So certain that he was done with this dating bullshit and planning on taking things to the next level. It’s what he’s planning on doing the night he gets the call, the entire rooftop bar of a swanky hotel blocked off just for the two of you. The rings burning a hole in his pocket, the couple of waiters that had been assigned to them making Katsuki feel on edge from the way they were just stood there staring at him as they whispered amongst themselves. Katsuki knows how it is though, had lost count of the number of dates he had been late to because his shift had run over, never one to leave a job half done just because he had done his assigned hours for that day.
So he waits, glaring at the chilling bottle of champagne and trying not to feel worried as the minutes ticked by but once an hours passed and his well on his way towards having been sat there like some pathetic loser for two hours Katsuki comes to the conclusion that somethings gone wrong.
He’s already got his phone out, your agencies contact information up when his phone starts ringing, a worried sound Ochaco on the other end of the line. He listens long enough to find out what hospital you are at before hanging up and jumping over the side of the building, his palms crackling with explosions as he propels himself through the night sky. He tries not to think about what happened, tries not to imagine the worst case scenarios but it’s difficult not to, Katsuki berating himself for not having asked Ochaco what was wrong. By the time he makes it to the hospital he’s a snarling angry mess, the sleeves of his shirt singed and smouldering, his hair a windswept mess and his tie pulled loose. He looks like he’s ready to murder someone and when he stormed through the buildings doors, shouting your name at the receptionist they are quick to point him in the right direction, everyone moving out of his way as he stomped his ways through the halls.
He finds Ochaco outside your room, can see you sat on the bed and talking to a doctor through the glass behind her. You look fine, still in your hero costumes and smiling like Katsuki hadn’t damned near had a heart attack on his way over. He wants to go in there and start yelling at you for worrying him so much and he would have if cheeks hadn’t grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him from getting any closer to your door. It’s then that he really looks at her, see’s the worry in her eyes and the unshed tears clinging to her lashes. She looks like she’s about to tell a civilian that their loved one didn’t make it, sad and pitiful eyes swimming with remorse. Katsuki hates it, his chest clenching and stomach churning with unease. He looks back at you, still smiling at the doctor as you talk to him, waving your arms around and gesturing with your hands. You look so calm, so at ease, like nothing in the world was wrong and something about that seemed off to Katsuki. It took him a minute or two to realise why.
Every hero who had been in the job for longer than a couple of years got this look in their eyes. One the screamed of everything they had seen and done. It was unescapable. This job took its toll on people, and it didn’t matter if you tried to hide it behind smiles or anger, it was always there. Plain as day for anyone to see if they bothered looking close enough. It was more obvious on some people, especially in those that had survived the war or those that had lived through the ordeal that was not saving someone. That was what was missing, that haunted look of loss and guilt that almost every hero carried around with them. You had had it since Katsuki first met you and though it had mellowed slightly it was still with you, would be for the rest of your life. Or so he had thought.
You had been running from that guilt when Katsuki had first met you. The pain of loss and guilt of failure still fresh and all consuming. It’s strange, seeing your eyes so bright and full of wonder. You look like a newbie, a fresh faced sidekick just out of school who has yet to experience what being a true hero cost. That feeling of unease creeps back up, settling in Katsuki’s stomach like lead and making his hands twitch with the need to do something, anything to make it go away.
Ochaco is vague when he asks her what happened. Katsuki’s leant against the wall opposite your room, eyes still stuck on you and cataloguing every little thing about you like it was going to suddenly be obvious what had happened. She doesn’t know much, had just been passing when she had come across your fight with some lowlife looking for a quick score. His hands had been glowing and despite avoiding them you had managed to corner the fucker, just seconds away from getting cuffs on him. Ochaco had seen it, the panic in his eyes and she had tried to warn you, but she had been too late, a bright white light bursting from his hands and sending you flying. You hadn’t been the only one affected, a handful of civilians caught in the explosion of light but because of how you had reacted when you woke up it had been decided to move you to a private room, away from any other patients.
Katsuki had asked her what the quirk you had been hit with was, how could he not have but all he had gotten in response was silence. He looks away from you then, eyes narrowed as he stares at Ochaco expectantly. She’s the one not looking at him now, eyes firmly fixed on the floor like somehow that was going to stop Katsuki from pushing. She knows something, something that she isn’t telling him, and he isn’t about to let her get away with it. Ochaco tenses when he advances on her, hands clenched into fists at his side and growling out his demand for her to tell him what the hell was going on. She looks up at him then, with those big watery eyes full of pity and fear. Fear of what Katsuki isn’t sure because Ochaco stopped being scared of him and his angry outburst a long time ago. Her eyes dart to your door, her teeth sinking into her plump bottom lip.
Katsuki feels like he’s on the edge of snapping, his anger and worry threatening to boil over but before he can start yelling at the other hero the door to your room opens and Katsuki instantly forgets whatever threat he was about to make. He snaps his head to the side so quickly that something clicks but he pays the sharp ache no attention as his wide and frantic eyes searches you out. He’s disappointed when it’s just the doctor, Katsuki only just getting a glimpse of you over their should as the doors pulled closed. You’re staring right back at him, brows drawn down in a confused frown that lacks the normal warmth and fondness you normally look at him with.
The doctor is quick to usher them further down the hall before Katsuki can start demanding things or shouldering his way into your room. They don’t make it that far, Katsuki coming to an abrupt stop before they make it into the designated waiting area and demanding he be told just what the hell had happened. The doctor tries to get Katsuki to sit down, to at least go into the empty room for some privacy but Katsuki refuses, demanding once more that he be told there and then what the hell was going on.
The doctor adjusts their glasses and then manages to ruin Katsuki’s life in a few short and devastating sentences.
The villains quirk was called memory eraser, the scumbag able to erase people short term memory with just a touch of his hands. You had managed to avoid that though, keeping clear of his hands but when it had become obvious that you were winning, the petty criminal had panicked and used his ultimate attack, sending his quirk out in a wide circle around him. Those at the edges of his attack had lost just minutes of time, no longer able to recall that they had even been hit with a quirk but the closer to the villain people had been the more time they had lost, and you had been closer than anyone. Katsuki’s voice was shaking when he asked how much you were missing, that feeling of dread back tenfold and threatening to choke him.
Two years. You had lost two years of your life just like that, just because some pathetic extra had wanted a quick escape. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, Katsuki knows that, but two years was long enough for Katsuki’s world to fall apart. Because two years was the difference between Katsuki being ready to ask you to marry him and him meaning absolutely nothing to you.
The doctor carried on talking, Katsuki only half listening as they went on to explain that those who had only lost a few minutes had already gotten those missing moments back and those who had lost slightly more were already starting to remember things though slowly so the likely hood was that yours would come back to you as well. They just didn’t know how long that would take. Katsuki holds on to that, tries to work out from what little information he has how long it will take to get you back but there’s just so much he doesn’t know and until those that had been closer to you begin to remember then Katsuki would have no choice but to wait.
Katsuki stopped listening when Ochaco started asking questions about the civilians that had been affected, his eyes fixed on the door the doctor had come through. There was always a risk as heroes, one that meant that Katsuki could lose you at any moment due to a fight that had gone south, or a sacrifice made to save countless others. Katsuki knew that and had excepted it though he hoped that neither of you would ever have to experience that loss. This though. This was just cruel. To have you healthy and whole but to still lose you all the same.
The truth of the matter was that you didn’t know him any more and he didn’t know you either, well not this version of you anyway. You were just as much a stranger to him as he was to you. Katsuki couldn’t stop himself from wondering how different you were now to how you had been just this morning. Would you still like his cooking, the way he made your coffee in the morning? Would you still sing along to those god awful songs Present Mic played on his radio show, or even laugh as loudly at Katsuki’s quite frankly rubbish jokes?
Katsuki wasn’t an idiot, he knew you couldn’t have changed that much in two years but there was that worry, that feeling in the back of his mind that you would take one look at him and turn tail and run. That past you, the you that you had been two years ago before you had come here wouldn’t want Katsuki. He had never dealt well with rejection and the thought of you, the person he loved most in the world deciding that he wasn’t worth the effort had Katsuki simultaneously wanting to scream and blow something up or curl up into a ball and wallow in his pain. It’s stupid but you have always invoked an emotional response in Katsuki that he’s never been wholly comfortable with admitting and this doesn’t change that.
He’s pulled out of his spiralling thoughts by Ochaco, the other hero telling the doctor that they were going to put you up in some hotel until everything was back to normal. Katsuki cuts her off before she can even finish talking with a growled out no. Your aren’t going to some shitty hotel when you have a perfectly good apartment to go to. She looked worried at that, trying to tell Katsuki how it could all go wrong for both him and you but he’s not in the right frame of mind to listen and thankfully the doctor shuts her up before Katsuki can start shouting at her, using the antigravity hero as an outlet for all his anger and worry. The doctor surprisingly agrees with Katsuki, saying that it might help your memories come back to you quicker if you were in a familiar environment. Though that was only speculation at this point Katsuki was willing to cling onto that possibility with both hands like a man possessed.
She leaves quickly after that, still obviously concerned about you going home with Katsuki and insisting that he call her if he needed anything. Katsuki brushes her off, slightly offended by her concerns like Katsuki was going to pounce on you the moment he got you alone. When she’s gone the doctor takes all of five minutes to run through with Katsuki what exactly he should be looking out for and what to do if or when you start to get your memories back. The doctor doesn’t show the same level as concern as Ochaco did, but they do stress the fact that to you Katsuki is just some random guy, and you don’t share the level of familiarity with Katsuki as he does with you.
Through gritted teeth Katsuki once again stresses that he knows that. He knows you’re not his version of you and that everything is different now but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still something important to him. He’s not about to leave you homeless for however long this shitty quirk lasts and if things do go south like everyone seems to think they will then Katsuki will be the one to leave. He knows Eijiro will let him crash at his place and if worse comes to worse Katsuki could always sleep at the agency. It wouldn’t be ideal, but Katsuki was more than willing to deal with coffee that tasted like dirt water and a bed that was probably comfy thirty years ago if it was for your sake.
When Katsuki is finally allowed into your room it takes all his effort not to shove the doctor out of the way and check you over himself. Instead, he hovers awkwardly by the door, his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers and fingers curled around the ring box that had miraculously managed to stay there in his haste to get to you. He uses it to ground himself, his mind already starting to spiral as you look at him with confusion and suspicion. He stares back, refusing to back down just like always. He waits, hoping that he will see a spark of recognition in your eyes that would mean this nightmare was already over before it even began.
That doesn’t happen though and the longer you look at him like that the worse Katsuki feels. It cuts through him sharper than any blade, his chest aching with it to the point he even lifts his hand to rub over his heart, in a vain attempt to dull the ache. It doesn’t help that you don’t stop staring at him, not even when the doctor starts exploring to you who exactly Katsuki is and why you would be going home with him. Your eyes widen at that, your surprise evident though you are quick to go back to looking at him with a bored indifference.
Katsuki wants to believe your reaction is a good thing, that you are happily surprised by finding out you had managed to bag someone as amazing as him. He’s not that delusional though. He knows that it’s because you were dating at all let alone being so deep into a relationship that you were living with someone. You're not impressed by him, probably don’t even care as the doctor sprouts a whole bunch of rubbish about Katsuki’s heroic deeds throughout the years. Katsuki wants to vomit.
It’s you sat on that bed. It’s you staring back at him, that same face he’s woken up next to almost every day for the last six months but now it’s all wrong. There’s a stranger looking back at him, your eyes cold and calculating when they had been warm and loving just a few hours ago. You're looking at him like you’re trying to pick him apart, strip him down to his basic components and work out why he had become something to you. He hates it, leaves him feeling uncomfortable and exposed in a way that has his skin prickly and heart pounding painfully against his ribs.
Katsuki’s not proud of what he does next, but he can feel himself beginning to panic and the last thing he wants is anyone to whiteness that. So he runs, barely even taking the time to grunt out some pathetic excuse as he stumbles through the door, slamming it closed behind him. He doesn’t stop until he’s halfway out the hospital, following the twists and turned of the corridors without paying any real attention to where he’s going. All he knows is that he couldn’t be there anymore, couldn’t stand to spend a second more under your judgmental gaze. Not when it was coming from you.
He spends a few minutes pacing, hands tugging at his messed-up spikes and muttering to himself a as he ignores the few hospital staff who had been stupid enough to walk down the same small bit of corridor, he come to a stop in. He feels pathetic and useless, running away from his problems like he’s some dumb kid with no self-respect or dignity. Hell of a first impression that was. God, you must be laughing at him, convinced the doctor was joking when he said you and Katsuki were a thing because why the hell would someone like you ever want his pathetic and useless ass.
Katsuki cried out in frustration, dropping down into a crouch against the wall as he curled in on himself in an attempt to make himself as small as he felt. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He had played it all up, talking big about how he would be ok, and he would be able to step up and take responsibility but all it had taken was one look from you, one look filled with distance and coldness and Katsuki had fallen apart quicker than paper in water. He wanted to be there for you, wanted to prove how much he cared not only to all those pointless extras but to you as well, but he didn’t know how he was going to make it through however long this quirk lasted with you looking at him like he was nothing to you.
It felt like his world was falling apart. Like he was being forced back into a time before he had even known you had existed. He was ready to ask you to marry him, to start talking about your future together and hell, he was even ready to start talking about having brats of your own. Tonight was supposed to be the first step towards that and towards making sure all those stupid extras knew that you were both serious about your relationship despite how long you had been together but now he was back at the start, no, he was further back than that. You didn’t even know who he was and him running away like a scared cat was now your first impression of him.
Fuck. He really was a pathetic mess.
The sound of someone clearing their throat cut through Katsuki’s spiralling thoughts, his head snapped up at the sudden noise. He had been so far into his own head that he hadn’t heard anyone approaching and yet there you stood, hand outstretched towards him and looking as awkward as he had felt first stepping into your room. Like the idiot he is Katsuki sits there for a long few moments, his wide eyes darting between your offered hand and your face. Something had changed. Before, in your room your eyes had been distant, cold even but now they seemed to be filled with something gentler, something close to understand and curiosity. It still wasn’t the same as how your normally looked at him, but it was an improvement on before and it seemingly was enough to have the small slither of hope swelling back into something tangible once more.
Grunting Katsuki took your hand, letting you pull him to his feet. You didn’t move back, the two of you ending up close enough that Katsuki could feel your breath on his neck. It was close, intimate and was too much like everything he had lost for Katsuki to feel comfortable. Clearing his throat Katsuki dropped your hand and took a step back, his eyes nervously darting around the corridor, so he didn’t have to look at you. Not directly at least.
Once again, he doesn’t know what to do and he can feel the tension grown between you as neither of you make a move to fill the silence. What is wrong with him? Katsuki doesn’t do awkward silences or pussy footing around. No, he’s loud and brash and he doesn’t care what other people think of him. His brash attitude hadn’t been an issue before, Katsuki convinced you had taken some sort of pleasure riling him up at the beginning. So what if you weren’t the person he had woken up to this morning. He knows that you love him and he hasn’t changed all that much since meeting you so realistically the chance of you not at least liking him are slim to none. He needs to step up here, needs show you why the hell you picked him when you hadn’t even been looking for anything thing even remotely romantic in the first place.
Mind made up and feeling more determined than ever Katsuki squared his shoulders and finally looked back you. You’re smiling softly, one eyebrow raised slightly and your eyes glowing with amusement and challenge. It’s familiar but in a good way and Katsuki can’t help but smirk back at you. He jerks his head back down the corridor, telling you to hurry up as he starts to make his way out of the hospital and towards the nearest train station. He catches you rolling your eyes, but your small smile never wavers, so he keeps his grumbling to a minimum.
Katsuki’s not stupid, he knows that this is going to be difficult not just for him but you as well but it will be worth it because its you and Katsuki would go to the ends of the earth and endure unfathomable hardships if it meant at the end of it he could hold you again and call you his. So what if his plans had all gone out the window. This was just a setback, he would have his chance to marry you soon enough but until then he was going to prove that you had made the right choice with him and then when you had all your memories back he was going to spend an hour yelling at you for being so reckless before pulling you into his arms and refusing to let go for the rest of the day.
Katsuki knows that a lot can happen in two years, hell a lot can happen in just a few days and knowing you like he does Katsuki knows that the you here with him now isn’t the same one he had met a year ago that’s ok though because your still you and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Just you. However he can get you.