Work Text:
You knew when you started dating Chan that your relationship would go through challenges. The biggest of them being the fan base. You knew that the fandom as a whole was relatively nice, but there were that subgroup of fans, if you could even call them that, who give Stays a bad name.
The two of you weren't planning on announcing your relationship at first for that reason. But when an opportunity arose for you to join Chan on tour, you had no choice. You didn't want to have to spend the few months you were traveling the world with him having to hide in hotel rooms or watching your backs so you two announced it before you left.
Despite all the precautions you took before announcing your relationship, Stay managed to find your social media accounts and even your job. Although, your job was easy enough to find. You worked as a journalist in the music industry. Once they found your name, everything else came easy to them. How they managed to find out your name was a mystery.
Chan didn't know the extent of how bad the harassment you were getting was. You kept it a secret from him, he had enough to deal with touring and doing interviews. For some reason, you couldn't stop yourself from reading the comments and dms you were getting. People were even going as far as to comment on the articles that your company had uploaded, forcing them to take off your contact information and disabling the comments. Even then, your email and work phone number had already been leaked. Everything turned what was supposed to be a blissful few months into a nightmare. Your only peaceful days were the ones where Chan had a day off or when you and all of Stray Kids would bond, forcing you to unplug from all of your devices.
Everyone was oblivious to the hate your were receiving, and you were kind of happy. The last thing you wanted was to break down and cry in front of them. You hated being that vulnerable in front of others, especially your boyfriend. You don't want them to chastise you for it. You knew they wouldn't, deep down, but years of surrounding yourself with people who would mock or belittle you for showing our emotions have taught you it's safer to just keep everything inside.
You and the boys stood off the side of the airport terminal, finally home from 4 months of traveling. Despite having done this several time throughout the tour, you were nervous for what awaited you on the other side of the gate. You could hear fans screaming the boys' names. All of them had warned you that Korean Stays were more intense than international Stays when it came to airport arrivals. They spent the last few days of the tour trying to mentally prepare you. They told you that you how, unlike other countries, there won't be any barriers between you and the fans. Chan even bought you noise canceling headphones to help drown out the fans. It wasn't just that they were loud, some of them were also hateful and would use the opportunity to say whatever they wanted.
“You’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Chan tries to reassure you, squeezing your hand.
You and Chan were the last ones to leave the terminal, Chan wanted to make sure the boys made it to the vans safely. He gripped your hand tightly as you two walked through the mob. You're thankful for the headphones. They're drowning out all the screams, it makes you feel like you're in a music video. You try to stay close to Chan as you make your way through the mob. Two security guards surround both of you, trying their best to shield you from the mayhem. All their efforts can't stop the hands you feel pushing and pulling at you.
Thud!
A fan bumps into you hard, or maybe they pushed you, sending you to the floor and effectively separating you from Chan and knocking your headphones off. You're suddenly surrounded by screaming fans, many of which were verbally attacking you.
"Stay away from Bang Chan!"
"You're so ugly!"
"You should just kill yourself!"
"You don't deserve him!"
The screams are suddenly replaced by music as Chan broke his way into the crowd and shoved his headphones on your head. He helps you stand up and tries to lead you out of the crowd, keeping a stronger grip on you than he did before. Eventually a security guard manages to break up the crowd and rushes to get you both to the van. Chan gently shoves you in first before turning and sharing a disappointed, angry look with the fans, and climbing in after you.
You climb past Jisung, Minho, and Felix to the back of the van before taking off the headphones. Your hands are visibly shaking and you try to take deep breaths to calm down your heart rate. Do no cry.
"What happened?" Jisung asks, turning around in his seat to face you, eyes wide.
"Oh my God, someone already uploaded it." Felix says as Chan climbs towards the back.
Once he's seated, he turns to you and starts rolling up your sleeves checking to see if you got hurt.
"Y/N, are you okay?" Minho asks softly. The three of them watched everything in horror when you and Chan were trying to get to the van. They weren't sure what happened, all they saw was a small crowd form and you and Chan appear from it a few minutes later. Felix was in the process of showing them the videos.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. A little banged and shaken up, but I'm fine." You squeak.
Everything was not fine. Sure, you had a few scrapes and you were going to wake up sore with bruises, but it was so much worse than that. It was one thing to read all those things being said about you online. It was a whole different story to hear them being directed at you. And hearing them being replayed over again from Felix's phone was pushing you over the edge. You bite your tongue to keep yourself from crying.
"Felix, shut that off." Chan says. He was now checking your face and head for any signs of injury. Anger was radiating off of him, but he remained calm as he checked you.
"Sorry, hyung," He mutters, immediately shutting his phone off and shoving it in his pocket.
Chan presses a kiss into your temple once he's done checking you over. You feel a tear escape from your eye.
"Fuck!" You whisper to yourself, wiping the tears that were now slowly but falling down your face. You turn away from Chan and aggressively wipe your face. You didn't want him to see you cry.
“Hey, it’s okay to cry.” He says softly, rubbing your back.
"I-I'm not. There's just something in my eye. It's pretty dusty back here." You mumble, crying harder. The floodgates opened and everything you were repressing from the past four months, along with all the pain you felt from today, were coming out. You quickly pull down your sleeves and cover your mouth, effectively muffling your sobs.
“You don’t have to be so brave with me.” Chan humms rubbing your back more.
He knows you have trouble expressing your emotions and how much you hate crying in front of others. He tries to look out for little signs to make sure you're not hiding anything. He does his best to reassure you that you and your emotions, no matter how big or small, are a burden to him. And yet, you still can't help but hide.
"I'm sorry. I-I just can't keep it in anymore. I'm just overwhelmed from what just happened and the past few months." You blubber quietly. Jisung, Minho, and Felix put their headphones on a while ago to give you your privacy.
"The past few months?" He questions. You take a shaky breath, still looking away from Chan.
"It's n-nothing," You silently curse yourself for letting that bit of information slip.
"Have...have people been harassing you online this entire time?" He asks softly, scooting closer to you. Still looking away you nod at him. His hand stops moving on your back as he slowly balls up his fist.
“Hey, look at me," He gently pulls your face towards him, "you can’t keep it bottled up forever. You don't have to hide from me--especially from me.” He pulls your head onto his shoulder and gently strokes your side.
"I-I know, I just--"
"I know why you don't but I'm just reminding you that you're okay to let your guard down with me, okay? Rest, we have a while before we're home."