Chapter Text
When you live a life as chaotic and intense as The Joker and Harley Quinn, there isn’t much room for mistakes and setbacks, otherwise you can either end up dead, badly injured or sent back to Arkham Asylum. Unfortunately, these two are only human, therefore such things can happen.
The most common occurrence being for something to go wrong, was during a job or heist. These events wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if the whole thing was strategically planned out in a perfect manner, but when an issue does occasionally arise, it will then cause one of two consequences. The first being that it is easily corrected, allowing only a short delay in progress, or they encounter the second option, which is when the mistake causes a large domino effect, that more often than not, lands them both back in the confinements of Gotham’s isolated castle.
The other common form of setback would be experiencing an accidental issue with their physical health, which usually went hand in hand with mistakes that had been made while working. These would range from broken bones, concussions and of course, gunshot wounds. Although these situations were very rare at most, they still happened from time to time.
Unfortunately, these were not the only type of setback that the couple could face, because sometimes the problem appeared out of their control, allowing their immune systems to be the one at fault. Granted, much like the others, getting sick was something that almost never occurred as the pair were usually unaffected by many ailments. That being said, when they did find themselves contracting something, they always tried to not let it affect their day to day life, and acted as if they weren’t even sick.
This was currently the case, as Harley found herself in a situation where she started to notice that something was off about her. At first it started subtly with just needing to urinate more frequently, sometimes even three times a night, but she just put it down to how much she had drank that day. Following shortly after, was the presence of a slight metallic-like taste in her mouth, another thing that she chose to ignore and brush off as flossing her teeth too much, even though she hadn’t done anything different.
The next symptom, however, was found to be a bit less discreet. She soon began to have stomach aches, that more often than not led to a lack of appetite and vomiting spells. Sometimes she would even be disgusted by water or her favourite foods. Unlike the others, Harley was unable to ignore this sign quite as well, but she still attempted to do it to some degree.
For example, she would often allow herself to lay on various surfaces in a fetal position from time to time, such as in bed, and on the sofa. When Joker was around, however, she knew that she had to be a bit more careful and inconspicuous.
She was his right hand gal and partner in crime, so her being unwell could have a drastic effect on their lifestyle, which is why she didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want him to think her weak, or an inconvenience by forceing him to make changes because of her.
Her strategy for not letting him find out, came in the form of either acting normal, despite the discomfort that she was clearly in, or concealing the preferred position by just having her knees up whenever they sat together.
When it came to the reason behind her condition, she carried on avoiding the subject. She would blame her appetite and disgust for certain food on the metallic taste in her mouth and believed that the stomach pain was from food poisoning. This particular excuse wasn't too hard to distrust, because she was prone to making herself ill, due to how much of a terrible cook she was.
No matter how uncomfortable the issue made her feel, she still refused to let it beat her, even though it was becoming quite apparent that she wasn’t improving, even after many weeks had passed. In fact, she had actually started to feel worse. She had dizzy spells, became breathless at random points in the day and grew tried quicker than normal, resulting in her sleeping in whenever given the chance, such as when they had relaxed days with nothing planned.
She found this factor quite infuriating, and sometimes difficult to hide as she was usually a very energetic person. Most of the times, she had to just push through the debilitating issues, and ignore the stomach cramps whenever around Joker, hoping that he wasn’t aware.
Her methods of keeping him oblivious to her tiredness, ranged from purposefully staying up later to give her a reason for the lay-in, using their home training area to excuse her fatigue and breathlessness. Then in other situations, she would just claim a bad night's sleep, which often wasn't too far from the truth.
Unfortunately, other than stand up slower, she couldn't really do anything about her lightheadedness, which was causing the dizzy spells, but on the upside, she was already fairly clumsy at times, so Joker didn't seem to notice her acting much different when walking and moving. If she needed to use her sharp shooting skills, then that would certainly be an issue, but as it was, she muched preferred her hammer, so Joker was still none the wiser.
Then when it came to what she did to hide her nausea, she would either turn on the shower to mask the sound, or opt into running outside to do it, where he can neither see, nor hear her. When eating together, she would suppress her revolution to their meal and suffer through it, or just avoid eating altogether, by claiming to have ruined her appetite with too many sweets.
Her complexion on the other hand was a whole other story. She could lie and make as many excuses as she wanted, but the lack of colour on her face and the bags under her eyes, could never be concealed behind such things. This only left her with the option of makeup, which worked fine until he saw her first thing in the morning and right before bed. This meant that she always had to be quick at putting it on in the morning and and slow at taking it off at night, so that it was the last thing that she did.
She was also trying to time her sudden urges to puke with when he was either out or in his study. Then in other situations, when she was unable to hide it, she would just pretend that she had made and ate a terrible meal, thus giving him a reason to also blame her awful cooking for her sickness. It was all a lie of course, but in this case, it was necessary.
Even though she had developed this strategy, the constant need to hide her issues from her partner was soon starting to get to her, even making her feel worse, both mentally and physically, as she refused to let her body rest. It also seemed to make all of her emotions become amplified, as well. She found herself getting angry and anxious very quickly, and crying both happy and sad tears at pointless things that wouldn’t usually trigger such a reaction.
It didn’t take much to aggravate her mood, it could be as simple as being unable to open a jar, discovering that the bin needed to be emptied, Bud and Lou making too much noise, and even Joker doing something thoughtful around the house. She even noticed her libido increasing, which only added to her growing frustration, because Joker still didn’t give her anymore affection than he normally would.
To make matter even worse, Harley then noticed that she was starting to get indigestion and heartburn after almost every meal, leaving her gassy, and in need of throat soothers. She couldn’t really conceal her burping from Joker when she did it so often, but the man didn't seem to notice or at least care. He was hardly someone who became put off by disgusting habits.
Although most people would have started to get suspicious by now of what was ailing them, Harley, however, chose to continue brushing it off as nothing important, and guessed that it was just a side effect from her frequent vomiting. Even the development of tender breast was ignored, convinced that it was due to sleeping on her chest too much.
That being said, the more time that passed, the harder it became to ignore the issues. She still tried to ignore them, but was now starting to get a bad feeling in the back of her mind. All of these symptoms didn't seem too bad on an individual scale, but when combined, they were very unusual. You wouldn't think that tender breasts, peeing more and dizzy spells would ever come together into one situation, but in this case, they had.
Her brain knew that something was wrong, and was trying to inform her of what could be behind the illness, as if it already knew. Regardless of these signals, she chose to stay in denial.
Joker on the other hand, was suspicious and he wasn't prepared to overlook the strange behaviour, that she was exhibiting. He knew that something was off about her after only a few weeks, he also had began to realise that she was blatantly trying to keep him from knowing about it. His first indication was of course her complexion, although she had begun applying more makeup than usual, she couldn’t always wear it.
This allowed him to see just how pale she really was becoming, such as when getting ready for bed, first thing in the morning, and while she slept. He didn’t usually make a habit of watching her while she slept, but if she’s groaning and whimpering in her sleep, it’s hard not to be a little interested.
This led him to his next clue that informed him of her being unwell, the vomiting. He obviously speculated that it was food poisoning related at first, much like she did, due to how bad of a cook she was. However, her sickness spells were inconsistent, she could go days without actually throwing up, and then other times be dashing off multiple times in the space of twenty-four hours.
He also realised that even when she wasn’t spewing her guts, she was clearly in discomfort. He knew this by the expressions she would often make, and the constant need to shift positions when either in bed or sitting down. Despite the fact that she always tried to do these things when she thought that he wasn’t paying attention, he still caught them, and in fact had become quite fascinated and even vigilant whenever around her. He naturally didn’t think much of her condition in the beginning, as it didn’t really affect their routine, he just went along with it, as if it was some kind of game.
Unfortunately, as more weeks went by, that soon began to change. The constant fatigue was starting to alter her reaction time when out on jobs, the increased sleeping and rest was allowing the house chores to pile up, and even her mood was becoming more tiresome to handle.
Regardless of all of these problems, Joker didn’t allow himself to worry about her. That was until he spotted her eating a fish pie, that Rocco’s wife had made for them. He was just passing through the foyer when he noticed her just sitting at the kitchen table, eating the meal straight out of the dish that it had been baked in, with a fork. She didn’t seem to notice, or at least care about what she was devouring. Not even his eyes on her, could muster a reaction, as she just sat there, completely carefree to the fact that’s she was not only eating something that she notoriously hated, but hadn’t even thought to share it.
“Uh… Harl, what are ya doing?” he finally asked as he slowly approached into the colourfully decorated room.
She remained hunched over the table, with one arm casually resting upon the surface, while the other occupied the utensil. “Eatin” she muffled out carelessly between bites with slightly lidded, tired, eyes.
Joker stopped just in front of her. “Do ya know what you’re eating?” he asked cautiously.
“I don’t care, I’m just hungry.”
Joker frowned at such an answer. How could someone who despises fish, and anything to do with the creature, just be sitting there, inhaling it without a single care?
Too stunned to conjure up a response, Joker just backed up out of the room with his expression remaining, and returned to his study with determined steps.
As soon as he shut the door behind him, he pulled out his phone and was quick to dial the number of their private doctor. Joker wasn’t usually one to do this sort of thing for her, but when Halloween is only a couple of weeks away, and he has a big heist planned, he needed her to be in shape for it.
He thought about just telling her to go see the doctor, but knew that she would probably refuse and claim that there was nothing wrong with her, continuously trying to hide her sickness from him.
“Hello, Mr Joker” doctor Wilson soon spoke down the line. “How can I help you?”
Joker proceeded to slouch down into his desk chair, with an exasperated sigh towards the conversation. “I’m gonna send Harley over to see ya tomorrow, would that be a problem?”
“No, of course not” the British man responded, trying to hide the slight surprise to the request not being made by Harley, herself. “May I ask what the issue is?”
“She’s throwing up and always tired basically,” he explained as he rearranged the paperwork on his desk, as if making the call was an interruption. “But it’s been going on for a while.”
“Ah, I see. What time should I expect her?”
Joker shrugged, knowing that it all depends when she decides to actually wake up. “I’ll try and get her to come by in the afternoon, she’s been sleeping in a lot.”
“That’s no problem at all” he told him in an understanding tone. “I’ll see that she’s taken care of.”
“Good” Joker nodded, with satisfaction. “Bye for now.”
……
Harley grumbled frustratedly, finding herself being once again, pulled from her peaceful slumber by her constantly recurring stomach cramps. She drew her knees in and tried her best to ignore it and go back to sleep, just like she had done so many times before. However, the pain did not cease, choosing to permanently keep her from drifting off.
After several more minutes had passed, Harley slowly rolled over towards the outside of the bed, hoping the change would offer a more comfortable position. Unfortunately, the simple action itself was found to be more than enough to intensify her pain and discomfort.
She briefly opened her eyes to the darkness and was met with the harsh, green LED light of her digital clock, which displayed the early hour of four in the morning. This factor only caused her to groan once more as she shut her eyes and attempted to wait out the pain, much like before.
Evidently, her stomach seemed to have other plans, as the pain continued to increase once more. She could feel her body developing the sudden urge to wretch, as saliva began to build up in her mouth, in preparation for the familiar action.
‘No, not this again’ she thought with dread, now wrapping her arms around her middle. ‘I don’t wanna be sick.’
Despite her pleas, her stomach still felt like it was churning and twisting with every passing minute. “Ugh, fine” she finally grumbled out, quickly rolling out of the bed and bolting towards the bathroom.
With not a second to spare as she reached the room, she immediately buckled at the bowl of the toilet, and violently heaved the contents of her stomach inside of it. The only thing keeping her from collapsing, being the deathly grip that she had on the rim of the seat.
She must have only been puking for then seconds at most, however to her it felt like so much longer, with the amount of times that she wretched in such a short period.
When she was finally sure that her stomach was empty, and she wasn’t going to vomit anymore, she slowly sunk to her knees in front of the bowl and rested her arms and head upon its cool surface. Usually, she would have just gone back to bed by this point, but after doing this so many times, she felt nothing but defeat in this moment.
Not even the foul taste in her mouth after throwing up, was enough to persuade her to move from her depressing spot.
“Okay, this is gettin silly now” she breathed out. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
A question she found herself being unable to avoid any longer. Every single theory, and self-diagnosis that she had come up with in order to explain what she was going through, were constantly being debunked.
Although he gums hurt, they never seemed to be bleeding, and she even asked Joker if her got the same metallic taste in his mouth whenever he kissed her, but he didn’t seem to. Her breast never seemed to become less tender, despite making a mental note to avoid sleeping on them. Her tiredness didn’t seem to be fulfilled, no matter how much she slept. Then as for her nausea, dizzyness and breathlessness, they still didn’t ease, no matter how much time had passed. She just wasn’t getting better.
She really hoped that she would have at least somewhat improved over time, yet no change was given. She just didn’t know what was causing it, or at least, she didn’t want to think about what was causing it.
Part of her already had one last theory to consider, yet she just couldn’t bring herself to actually pay it any mind. However, as she sat on the cold bathroom floor, alone in the middle of the night, with zero light to enable her to see, she knew that she no longer had a choice.
“Could I, really be pregnant?” Harley quietly asked herself. “Surly not, I can’t be” she tried to dismiss. “It would have happened before.” After being with The Joker for so long, Harley was sure that this sort of issue would have happened at least once before, if not many.
He never used any form of protection to avoid such an outcome, it was always down to her, and all she used was the pill. Granted, it was meant to be one of the more effective methods out there, but no form is one hundred percent guaranteed to stop a pregnancy from occurring.
To be fair, in her mind, the pill was never meant to be the only thing that she thought would stop a pregnancy from happening. After his little acid dip back in the day, she always assumed that he was sterile. Heat is really bad for a man's fertility and considering he fell into a huge tub of burning liquid, she believed it safe to say that his swimmers didn't make it.
Yet here she was, faced with the very real possibility that they had in fact, survived. She definitely didn’t cheat on him, that much she was certain of. She just wasn’t certain about the pregnancy theory, as there was still a possibility that she did just have some kind of stomach bug, or infection. She didn’t even know what she would do if she did turn out to be pregnant, that was a whole other train of thought that she didn’t want to get into, at this time.
Her thought process was then interrupted by the very distinctive sound of deep groaning, coming from the other end of the hallway.
“Harley?”
Her eyes grew wide with realisation as she lifted her head, as if only just becoming aware of her current actions. She quickly peered out of the open bathroom door, and down the corridor at the room, in which the sound had sourced from. Thankful of the interruption, she carefully climbed to her feet and scurried off to return back to the bedroom.
Harley was then met with a very groggy looking Joker as he sat up in bed, eyeing her with a mix of anger and confusion, with his green hair sticking out in various directions.
“What the hell are ya doing up at this hour?” he tested huskily, knowing very well that she had just been sick.
“Sorry Puddin" she whispered, approaching her side. “I needed to bathroom.”
His intensely suspicious gaze remained consistently on her, as she climbed back under the covers, next to him. When she still proceeded to avoid his stare and face away from him, as if she knew of his doubt, he just rolled his eyes and fell back against the pillows, determined to confront her about her condition in the morning.