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Make Out Series Dream

Summary:

Parody!

In which Kakashi has a dream where he inserts himself and Mei into one of the (clean) bits of plot in one of Jiraiya's books.

Notes:

Consider this chapter a PARODY of a certain book series from Naruto of which I believe we’re all aware. However, I’ll be keeping it in my usual story rating of “Teen” [dodges tomatoes and other random objects thrown her way]. Yes yes I know. I’m so disappointing. Anyway, that’s why everyone is OOC, among other reasons.

Work Text:

The young woman with auburn hair walked down the winding road leading to her home. The dry leaves crunched underfoot as the bright moon kept her company. Her dress swished as she walked. She was taking long strides, eager to be safe and home alone. That’s when she noticed a rustling above her. She glanced up the hill curiously but did not stop walking. The road was cut into the side of a hill and she knew there to be another road running parallel to hers higher up.

            She heard another rustle, louder this time, then the even crunch of leaves above her. There was someone on that path! She glanced up again and saw a dark figure walking in the same direction as her. She quickly looked away, trying in vain to see where she knew the two paths met up ahead. Maybe he didn’t care about her but just the same, she didn’t want him to be between herself and home. She picked up the pace, lengthening her strides as she walked.

            She heard the continued crunch of the leaves above her. As she sped up the crunches became more frequent, he was quickening his pace! The auburn haired woman added extra speed to her lengthened strides, making her feel like she was going at a slow jog. Her breathing quickened as her heart pounded in fear. It could all be for nothing but her instincts were telling her to hurry hurry hurry.

            The man on the road above her did not slow down. The crunching of his leaves was not falling behind but in fact just keeping even with her.

            Suddenly she could make out the paths’ convergence ahead in the moonlight. Her sigh of relief caught in her throat when she heard a voice above her call out, “where do you think you’re going?”

            The accusation stupefied her. The part of her brain that wasn’t urging her to run was flabbergasted that such a line was used at all. This thought passed quickly however and instincts took over. She ran.

            Long hair flying behind her like a banner, she bolted down the path, hoping to get past the merger without being cut off. Her reaction seemed to startle the man at first for he did not immediately pursue. She heard him call out something that she didn’t quite catch and then his footsteps pounding the leaves as he ran after her.

            She made the merger and sped past it, far from safe. The cool night air burned her lungs. The path that was so familiar to her now seemed dangerous, unfriendly, and far too long. The shadows stretched like hands reaching out to grab her or block her path. She could hear his feet on the hard ground, their roads had joined.

            Passing a familiar crossroads beyond the hill, she began to count the landmarks on her road home. The signpost for the crossroads flew past. In the distance she could see the large tree that marked the halfway point between the crossroads and her cottage. She was just reaching the well-known crumbling stone wall…

            She heard a chuckle behind her that raised the hair on her neck. She hadn’t realized he’d gotten that close. She redoubled her speed but then she felt a hand on her arm. She jerked it away from him but the movement threw her off balance and she stumbled and fell, skidding to a halt on the road.

            Ignoring her scrapes and bruises, she crawled away from him to get some distance to stand up. As she got to her feet he stomped on the hem of her dress making her stumble once more. She fell back to her hands and knees. Turning, she kicked at him but he caught her foot and threw it aside. She kicked at him with her other foot but he caught that one also and casually tossed it out of the way.

            She realized in horror that he was playing with her. She could see him now in the moonlight. He had brown hair and dark eyes. His skin and cloths were dirty as if he’d been on the road for some time. He wore a pack on his back that he threw aside. The contents jangled as they landed, suggesting pots and pans along with other camping equipment.

            “Now,” he said with a leer on his face, “don’t you want to-”

            “No!” The young woman screamed at him and tried to kick him again. “Get away from me!”

            He caught her foot again but this time he didn’t let go. Instead he adjusted his grip on her ankle and yanked her closer to him.

            The woman cried out in pain as she felt her ankle twist. She tried to pull her foot free but her ankle burned with pain. Her dress was slipping down revealing more of her leg as he pulled her leg up. She scrambled with her hands trying to drag herself away. Her fingers were digging into the dirt, grasping at weeds, but his grip on her foot did not relax.

            “I believe the lady said ‘no’,” a voice spoke from the darkness.

            The woman and traveler both looked up to see a lone figure leaning against the crumbling wall on the side of the road. As they watched the newcomer pushed himself off of the wall and began to amble toward them.

            He was tall, taller than the traveler. He had messy silver hair that glinted in the moonlight. He spoke again, “let her go.”

            In his shock at the sudden appearance of another man, the traveler seemed to have forgotten the woman he’d been assaulting. Realizing that he still clutched her foot he let it go disdainfully. “Stay there, I’ll be back for you,” he sneered at the woman.

            Her green eyes were wide as she stared at the silver-haired man. Then she cried out in surprise and pain when her ankle sent a shooting pain up her leg as it landed on the ground. She quickly adjusted her dress so it covered more of her legs and scrabbled away from the man. She knew she should try to head for home but she was frozen in apprehension, watching the two men approach each other.

The silver-haired one, if he won the fight, might leave her alone but if the brown-haired man won and came back for her… Even if she started moving now he’d catch her again before she reached her home. So she waited, heart in throat, and watched.

            “What’s it to you?” the traveler snarled.

            The woman couldn’t see the other man’s face because it was in shadow. However, in response the man tilted his head and shrugged. “It didn’t seem like she appreciated your…attentions.”

            “Well,” the brown-haired man sneered, “I don’t appreciate your ‘attentions’, so why don’t you bug off!”

            The silver-haired man sighed, “see, I would, but I get the feeling that as soon as I leave you’ll be…pestering her again. And I won’t allow that.”

            Before the newcomer had finished speaking the traveler threw the first punch. The point of their confrontation gasped in fear but she need not have worried. The newcomer dodged the punch easily and countered with an uppercut to the traveler’s jaw. The traveler stumbled back, wiping his mouth with his wrist. Then he growled and threw himself at the silver-haired man. His punches flailed here and there but they never came in contact with the mysterious man. He was like a phantom.

            The traveler went in for another jab at the man’s chin. Instead, the silver-haired man caught the punch with his right hand, stopping it cold. The brown-haired man’s eyes widened in surprise. The newcomer didn’t wait for him to react. He punched the traveler in the stomach with his left fist and, quickly releasing the man’s hand, punched him in the face with his right. The traveler fell to the ground, senseless.

The brown-haired man shook his head in confusion as the newcomer bent down over him. “Now don’t let me catch you preying on anyone ever again.”

The traveler stared at the man, slack-jawed as he crawled away, strangely in the same manner in which the woman had moments earlier. He was shaking his head as he grasped his pack and hurried down the road the way he’d come. The silver-haired man watched him go, his silhouette cutting an imposing figure in the moonlight.

Once the traveler was out of sight, the mysterious rescuer turned to the woman and approached her slowly. “Are you alright?” He asked silkily, offering her his hand.

She was staring up at him in awe, her mouth hanging open, eyes wide. She remembered to breathe, closed her eyes, swallowed, and reopened them slowly. She could see his face now. It was smooth, making her realize that he was younger than she’d supposed with his silver hair. His eyes were dark but warm.

The woman nodded, taking his hand. He helped her to her unsteady feet. She tried to put weight on her injured ankle and gasped with the pain. When she started to topple he caught her easily between his arms and broad chest.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against him for a moment. He smelled like the forest, of leaves and loam. It was soothing and she almost forgot where she was until he spoke again, “it seems you’ve lied to me.”

Green eyes flashed open and looked up into his.

“You’re not alright,” he clarified. He watched her intently, as if her response was of the utmost importance to him.

She blushed and looked away. “It’s just my ankle. I’m fine. I don’t think I can walk on it-” she’d started to babble and stopped herself, embarrassed.

“I see,” he said. “I can maybe help a little with that.” He eased her down onto the ground once more and began rummaging in a pouch on his belt. “What’s your name?” He produced some bandages.

“Mei,” the woman replied a little breathless.

He smiled at her from where he was crouched next to her ankle. “Mei, I’m Kakashi. I’m pretty clumsy but do you want me to try to wrap up your ankle? I think it’ll help.”

Mei couldn’t imagine how this man could be clumsy at anything. She nodded mutely. Kakashi gently took her now swollen foot in his hand and wrapped it up tightly. He was careful but it still hurt. She tried her best to mask her panting as he finished. However, in the pale moonlight she looked even more ghostly than when he’d first seen her.

He frowned at her distress, “is there somewhere I can take you? Do you live nearby?”

She nodded and then realizing that she should be giving more of a response said, “just down the road, if you’d help me…?”

Kakashi pulled Mei to her feet once more and, with their arms around each other, began to hobble down the road. After a minute or two, Mei began to pant and her face got even more pale and drawn. Kakashi immediately halted and scooped her into his arms.

It took Mei’s breath away and made her head swim. The stars above were spinning a bit and she closed her eyes to block them out. Mei rested her head against Kakashi’s shoulder again to recollect herself as he carried her down the road. “You don’t have to-” she muttered into his neck.

Kakashi chuckled deep in his chest. “It’s the least I can do. You’ve had quite a fright this evening.”

“So have you,” Mei countered. She tentatively put her arms around his neck to relieve him of some of his burden.

Kakashi sighed. “Ah, unfortunately, I’m used to it.” He grew quiet and Mei pondered the life this man must lead.

When Mei could make out her home in the darkness she pointed it out to Kakashi. He made for the small cottage. She laughed when he prompted her to unlock the door while still in his arms. She did so and unlatched the door which he pushed open the rest of the way.

It was a snug little place and all one room so he didn’t have to ask where her bed was. Walking over to it, he laid her down gently. After a quick moment he turned away and made for the door.

“Kakashi!” She cried out, distressed. He turned around at her call so suddenly that she was embarrassed by her panicky outburst. In a calmer voice she said, “you’re not leaving?”

He looked around and said, “well I wasn’t exactly invited in the first place. You needed me to take you here and I did.”

“I need you to stay,” she said breathlessly.

He smiled at her. “Then I will.” Glancing over at the kitchenette he said, “I’ll make tea.”

Mei couldn’t believe this man was real. She knew he was tough, he’d carried her all the way here, rescued her from that man. She shuddered a little at the thought of the traveler she’d met on the road. But now this mysterious man was gentle, moving about her kitchen as if he’d always been there, boiling water and arranging cups on a tray. She stared at him in wonder as if he’d disappear any second. In a few minutes he was bringing her tea in bed.

“Careful, it’s hot,” he warned, handing her a cup. She drank it anyway and she hardly noticed the way it burned her tongue and throat. “Let’s see about your ankle.”

He looked the appendage over gently with probing fingers. During the course of his examination his hand strayed onto her lower calf. She gasped. She was suddenly feeling very warm and it had nothing to do with the tea.

“Does that hurt?” he asked intently.

“No,” she breathed. Her heart was pounding; she was sure he could hear it.  

His hand traveled up to her knee, his fingers like feathers over her skin. “And now?”

Mei could barely breathe; the answer that came out of her mouth was garbled and unintelligible. It sounded closer to a gasp than any word. Her hands were shaking.

Kakashi laid himself down by her side and put his ear next to her mouth so he could hear her. “Sorry?”

She responded by nibbling his ear.

He groaned, molding his body to hers and said, “that’s what I was thinking.” He began to kiss her neck-

Kakashi felt a hand brush his side. The hand froze. His eyes flashed open and he saw the vaulted ceiling and wooden beams of his and Mei’s house above him. The morning light streamed in through their balcony window. He felt Mei shift in bed next to him and he turned to look at her.

She withdrew her hand guiltily. Mei had reached out, eyes closed, and touched him as soon as she’d woken up. He was all too familiar with the ritual. He smiled reassuringly at her and said, “still here.”

Mei half-smiled and replied, “I’m sorry I woke you.”

Her husband waved her off, “don’t worry about it. I was dreaming about you but the real thing is better.” He leaned over and kissed her.

“A good dream or…?” Mei left the question unfinished. Worry filled her eyes.

“It wasn’t a nightmare,” Kakashi assured her. He kissed her again.

“Oh,” Mei said brightening, “good.” She began to return his greeting when she frowned and drew back. The kunoichi leveled a suspicious look at him. “It wasn’t a ‘Make-Out series’ dream was it?”

Kakashi only paused for an instant before smoothly replying in the negative. He allowed himself a small grin. Then the smile froze on his face. He realized with dismay that he did not have his mask on.

Mei stared at him abashed. “It was! You had a- Why you little!” Mei scooped up her pillow and swung it at him. Kakashi blocked it with his own pillow fisted in his hand like a shield. Mei tackled him and they both toppled off of the bed bringing half of the bedding with them.

Inside the makeshift fort and tangled up in sheets, Kakashi pinned Mei down with his body. Playfully he said, “see? I told you the real thing was better.”

Mei tried to smack him but he held her hands. Kakashi could feel her focusing her chakra. Mei’s eyes narrowed at him as she bunched up her legs under him threateningly. He knew she could kick him through the ceiling but he didn’t back down.

Mei smiled dangerously and said, “I believe you’ll find I’m a bit stronger than the damsels in Jiraiya’s books.”

Kakashi smiled back, “as I said, better.” He closed the distance between them and kissed his wife.  

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