Chapter Text
Yuri was always a smart child. Her grades were always great - straight A’s. She was a part of many clubs, she had many accomplishments, she played many sports, but no matter what she did, she was never good enough for her father. Enji Todoroki never saw her. He never watched her.
Yuri doesn’t remember the last time she had talked to her father - or if she ever had. She knew why he never wanted to talk to her. She was merely living in Enji Todorokis’ eldest sons shadow. No matter what she does, she will always live in his shadow, regardless of the fact she has never met him and has no memories of him.
She comes home late from school somedays, he never asks where she was or what she has been doing. She came first place in a marathon, not even one well done, she got top marks on her end of year tests and managed to get a full ride scholarship to UA high schools support course, no well done from her father, after all, he only ever intended for Shoto to go to UA. Whatever she does doesn't matter to her father. All her achievements are never enough for her father to look at her. All he ever sees is her snow white hair, piercing blue eyes, and her quirk.
Her eldest brother, Touya, died when Yuri was two years old. She has no recollection of him. All she knows is that his death dominates her family, even a decade later. Natsuo is always picking a fight with their father about it, Fuyumi doesn’t say anything regarding him often, but when you look at her you can feel her grief, though she does well to hide it. Endeavor doesn’t say a word about him. Shoto has only mentioned him a few times, very few though. It doesn’t matter, because Yuri knows they are all still hurt. Proof of this is that sometimes they won’t look at her, especially on Touyas birthday and on the anniversaries of his death. Why? Because she looks like his twin, down to the smallest detail. Yuri is Touya Todorokis' living copy.
Fuyumi is overall, the nicest to her, she is never anything but kind and sweet to her, but even Yuri can tell that sometimes it hurts too much for her. Fuyumi basically raised Yuri because their mother hasn't been in the picture since Yuri was two years old, so Fuyumi hasn’t really had a choice to talk to her or not. Yuri never forgets the sacrifices and kindness Fuyumi has shown her. Fuyumi is the best sister Yuri could have ever asked for.
***********
“Yuri! You’re home just in time for dinner!” Fuyumi says as she comes into the hallway, from the dining room, and gives me a hug.
“What do you mean? You and Natsu usually have dinner at 6.” I reply, embracing her back.
“I know but we have two guests over and Shoto is home from UA tonight.”
“Oh, ok.” I don’t really know what else to say to that.
When I enter the dining room the green haired boy stands up and gives me a bow.
“Hello! My name is Izuku Midoriya, but you can just call me Deku, and this is my friend Katsuki Bakugo! It’s an honor to meet you! We are Shotos friends from UA high school!”
The boy speaks so quickly I can hardly keep up with his words.
“Uhm, hi. I’m Yuri. It’s nice to meet you both too.” I give him a bow just as he did for me.
I sat down in between Natsuo and Fuyumi. Fuyumi cooked a big meal tonight. Shoto is here, which is rare, and he’s here with two of his friends, a green haired broccoli looking boy and a blonde boy who has anger issues and looks like an angry pomeranian. I’m not too convinced that the blonde boy is actually friends with Shoto though. It’s one of the few days Shoto is home, the other days he lives on the UA campus, so Fuyumi wanted to cook really nice food for Shoto and the two other boys. It is also one of the few nights that Endeavor is home early enough to eat dinner with the rest of us. Usually I get home late and Natsuo and Fuyumi have already eaten. Fuyumi always makes sure to leave a plate for me in the fridge. It’s 8pm right now, the usual time I have dinner, whilst Natsuo and Fuyumi usually eat around 6pm.
“Don’t force yourself to eat anything you don’t want to, alright?” Fuyumi says to everyone at the table.
“Everything is really delicious!” The green haired boy, Deku, says and starts analyzing the food.
I do my best not to laugh. It's really refreshing to have someone talking whilst having dinner. I usually eat alone so eating with others is a nice feeling. I’m also glad someone outside our family is making it known that Fuyumi cooking is really, really good.
“Despite having such a deep flavor, the skin of this tatsuta-fried chicken has the perfect amount of crunch, resulting in such an exquisite mouthfeel that just-“
Until he’s interrupted by the blonde boy, Bakugo.
“STOP ANALYZING YOUR DAMN FOOD!” He shouts.”I CAN’T FOCUS ON MY MAPO TOFU
WITH YOUR DAMN BLABBERING!”
This boy sure has some damn energy, he does make the dinner that much more entertaining though. As loud as his yelling is, it feels relaxing to have someone with so much energy in this house. Everyone here speaks as if they're already dead. Fuyumi talks at a normal volume and at a regular pace. Natsuo speaks the same way unless he gets into an argument with Endeavour, then he yells and storms off for a few hours. Shoto speaks in a very monotone and serious voice, he sounds like he doesn’t know that he’s alive. Endeavour speaks very seriously and most of the time I just hope he doesn’t talk, he never really has anything nice to say.
He’s been trying to be a better father, talking to me occasionally, asking me what I’ve been doing and what I’ve been learning at school. But every time I look him in the eye I can see his regret. Not the regret of neglecting me, Fuyumi, and Natsuo. Not the regret for abusing Shoto and our mother. Not for driving my mother crazy to the point she had to be sent to a mental hospital which led to me having no memory of her. All I see is the regret of killing Touya. That alone makes me want to run as far away from him as possible. I know he doesn’t see me as anything but a copy of his dead child.
Natsuo’s voice is what pulls me from my thoughts.
“Well, of course the food is great,” he says, “Ever since our housemaid threw out her back and retired, Fuyumi has been taking care of the cooking.”
“I see,” Deku says, smiling and enjoying the food.
Give yourself some credit, Natsu!” Fuyumi exclaims,”We take turns, don’t we?”
“You have?!” It’s the first thing Shoto really says all evening, “Then I've eaten you cooking!?”
“Ah, I wonder about that. I might have been forced to stop,” Natsu says, his smile straining on his face. “I usually like heavy food and I tend to go overboard on spices, Endeavor probably wouldn't let you put it in your stomach. I bet he would stop you from even trying it.”
Natsuo shoots a pointed glare at our father.
Here we go again. I understand where Natsuo is coming from, but I was hoping he would hold off in front of Shotos friends. I can see Fuyumi pinching Natsu in the arm. He shoots her a glare.
“I never noticed it,” Shoto says in his usual monotone voice, although I feel as if I can hear a faint tone of sadness. Poor guy.
“What do you usually eat at school, Shoto?” Fuyumi questions, interested in what the top hero school has to offer to its students in the way of food and nutrition.
“I eat the food from our cafeteria.” He replies, “I want to try Natsuo's cooking the next time I’m home.”
“I can arrange that,” Natsu says,”I’m full and now that you’ve seen me, it’s time for me to go.”
“Natsuo!” Fuyumi cries.
“Sorry, Fuyumi. I still can't bring myself to do this.”
With that Natsuo gets up from the table and leaves the room. I can faintly hear him going upstairs and into his room.
I’m in the kitchen with my father, drying the dishes whilst he washes them.
“Where should we put the plates?” Deku asks.
“Just on the counter,” I reply.
I finished drying the dishes and I was walking back to the dining room to wipe the table until I heard Deku and Bakugo talking in the corridor. They were coming my way, holding more dishes to bring to the kitchen. I stood in the living room as they passed by.
“Kacchan, do you know about Todoroki's family issues?” Deku inquires.
“What? You guys were the ones who talked about it where I could hear.” Bakugo snipes.
“You overheard the conversation?”
I decided to leave them to have that conversation on their own. I know they have opinions on us and I really don’t feel like hearing them right now, especially not in my own home. I dip out of the living room and quietly go the opposite direction, back to the dining room where Fuyumi and Shoto were having a conversation. I grabbed a cloth and started wiping down the table after Shoto put away the placemats. I feel like an intruder in their conversation but in the end this is my family too so it doesn’t matter what they say.
“Sorry for making you all help out.” Fuyumi shared.
“Midoriya would feel even worse if we didn’t let him help.” Shoto explains.
“It’s not like I don’t feel the same way as Natsu…” She starts, “But, we have a chance now. What do you two think about father?”
Shoto is the first to reply to her, I on the other hand have no idea what to say. There is just so much I could say.
“I’ve always thought of this scar as something that I received from our father.”
I can tell he’s thinking of the night he was burned. I was only an infant at the time but Fuyumi told me what happened when I was old enough and started asking why I didn’t have a mom but all my classmates did.
“Mom lost it because she had reached the breaking point, because of him. I can't forgive him for pushing Mom to the point of a mental breakdown. But she is doing her best to overcome this trauma.” He continues. “Honestly, I'm at a loss as to what I should do. What should I think of my father now? As of now, I am totally lost. But I’m going to watch him.”
Fuyumi nods in agreement and understanding.
“What about you, Yuri,” Fuyumi is looking at me now.
“Here’s what I’m going to say. I feel a similar way to Natsu. Endeavor is trying to change, but at the same time, that doesn’t erase everything we have all had to go through. Because of him I had to grow up without a mother. Because of him, there are only five people living in this house instead of the seven that should have been living here.”
Fuyumi and Shoto both take in what I said. They look at each other and back to me and nod in agreement. I knew I hit their hearts. Mom and our eldest brother have always been a touchy subject.
“HEY!” Bakugo has appeared in our doorway, and so has Deku.
“KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU'VE GOT GUESTS OVER!!” He yelled.
Jesus Christ, does he have no sense of sympathy. I know I was happy to have a loud voice in the house but it does get annoying after a bit.
“АAAAHHHH, I'M SO SORRY!” Fuyumi looks like she might pass out, “We didn’t mean too….”
“AH! Umm! We’ve already heard about your situation from Todoroki.” Deku kind of apologized. I don’t even know anymore, that boy is really kind but also really awkward.
“I JUST HAPPENED TO OVER HEAR, GOT IT!?” Bakugo opens his mouth again. “ISN'T A DINNER PARTY SUPPOSED TO BE MORE LIGHTHEARTED?”
“Kacchan….” Deku starts looking very, very embarrassed. His face is the color of a tomato.
“NOW THE TASTE OF THAT MAPO TOFU IS RUINED!”
“I’m sorry, we ended up over hearing you guys.” Deku apologizes.
“YOU SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT SHIT THAT DEPRESSING WITH GUESTS IN YOUR HOME!”
I sigh, loud enough that he could hear.
“WHAT ARE YOU SIGHING AT YOU DAMN BRAT!”
“I’m sighing at the fact you don’t know how to speak at a regular volume nor how to speak with even an ounce of compassion, if not for my sister and I, but for Shoto, your classmate.l
“I…WELL…uhm,” he coughs and stops talking. I continue to glare at him.
“Todoroki,” We all turn to Deku. “You’re preparing yourself to forgive him, aren’t you?”
“Umm?”
“If you really hated him, I think it’s fine if you never forgave him. But you're not like that. You’re a kind person. That's why it looks like you're waiting.”
I don’t know how to read my youngest older-brother, but I swear I caught the hint of a smile pulling at his face. And maybe, just maybe, his shoulders loosened just that little bit more. Deku is a true friend to my brother, and for that I’m truly grateful.
Growing up, Shoto had no friends. Father homeschooled him and trained him. UA is Shotos first chance at a real school and at making real friends, not the people in the history books he would read for fathers hero-history classes. I’m happy for him, truly. After all those horrible years, he is finally getting a chance to thrive, meet new people and truly become a person. He’s come a long way, and I’m glad he’s got someone like Deku by his side. I can’t help but smile at the thought, my innocent big brother has a best friend.
********
Me, Shoto, Fuyumi, Deku and Bakugo are sat around the dining table, the others are deep in conversation whilst I’m half listening.
I zoned out for a bit, just thinking to myself and drowning in my thoughts, even though I am not too sure what I’m even thinking about. What does make me surface from my ocean of thoughts is the mention of my eldest brother.
“Your older brother?” Deku asks.
“You didn’t tell them?” Fuyumi’s voice is practically a whisper, I know she doesn’t enjoy explaining Touya’s death to others.
“It’s not exactly a conversation starter,” Shoto explains.
“Natsuo and Touya were close, they were always playing together. It was shortly after our mom went away, her condition somehow got even worse, to the point that neither Shoto nor Yuri could even visit her. But she’s overcome all that. Shotos visiting her now, and our family’s looking toward the future more and more. Only Natsuo can’t seem to let go. He believes that our father killed Touya.”
Fuyumi finishes speaking and the two boys soak all of what they have just heard in and from what I can tell they are trying to make sense of it all.
“That explains the look on his face.” Bakugo comments.
Bakugo was the first of the two to say anything.
“What do you mean?” I questioned.
“When I was taking some of the dishes to the kitchen I bumped into him on the way and his face looked like a mix between sad and angry. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. I heard him say ‘listen, sis, I’m going out’ and ‘thanks again for dinner.’”
“Oh.” That was all I could think of to say.
“Wait, Fuyumi, you said that Todoroki goes to see his mom, Yuri, how come you don’t? I know it isn’t my place to ask, please don’t feel any kind of pressure to answer.” Deku declares.
“Uhm, it’s alright, I don’t mind answering your questions. I don’t go see my mom because she’s doing a lot better now and I think that if she sees me it might put her progress backwards.” I answer.
“Mom wants to meet you, Yuri. I’ve told you this, I don’t understand why you don’t want to go see her.” Fuyumi shared.
“I doubt your Mom wouldn’t want to see you. It would probably be a good surprise.” Deku joins in.
“She has told me she really wants to meet you and see how much you have changed since she last saw you,” Shoto says in his monotone voice.
I can't help but laugh a bit at what Shoto says.
“A lot will have changed, Shoto, the last time she saw me I was two years old. I don’t want to go see her because neither you nor Fuyumi will admit that I am nothing but a copy of Touya. If she saw me she might mistake me for him. Don’t even try to tell me she wouldn’t, Father sometimes calls me Touya, Natsu has done it a few times. Not on purpose, I don’t think, but I don’t want to meet my mom for the first time only for her to call me her dead child's name.”
I know what I’ve said is harsh, but it’s true. I spend my life in Touyas shadow, even if no one says that to my face I know it’s true. Their faces say it all. Just like now, I can see Deku and Bakugo watching our interaction as if it were a free reality TV show. Fuyumi and Shoto are both at a loss for words.
“Ahem.” My father is now standing in the doorway.
“I have to take the boys back to UA now.”
That was all that he said. I know damn well he heard what I said. For once I am glad for his presence, it’s good he’s taking them back to UA, it means this god awful conversation doesn't have to continue.
“Ok,” Shoto says as he stands up. The other two boys followed suit.
******
Fuyumi and I stand outside the house as the car arrives and the boys get ready to go back to their school.
“Thank you so much for the meal!” Deku repeated for what felt like the thousandth time.
“Thank you!” Fuyumi replies to the boy.
“GIVE ME THE MAPO TOFU RECIPE,” Bakugi was back to being explosive.
“I’ll have my sister send it to me.” Shoto says, presumably to get him to quiet down.
“Sure,” Fuyumi answers.
“Fuyumi,” Father says to my sister as he opens the door to the passenger seat of the car. “Thank you for the food and everything.”
Fuyumi doesn’t say anything to him but she has the biggest smile on her face right now, and that in itself is enough of an answer for my father.
“Midoriya,” my sister trunks to the green haired boy. “Thank you for being Shoto’s friend.”
Deku has a sappy smile on his face when he replies to her. He also gets a bit flustered.
“Well, I mean, the pleasure is all mine.”
“It was nice to meet you,” I say before they get into the car.
“It was lovely to meet you too,” Deku replies in agreement. “But, please do think about seeing your mom, I think she would really like to see you, and what you’ve told me, I think she would like to meet you, properly, not as a baby.”
With that the three school boys get into the car. My father is still standing by the car with the door open. He turns to me and Fuyumi, as if thinking what to say before he goes with the boys.
“Yuri,” when he says my name I know he has thought of what to say. “I won’t be back until later tonight, but when I get back, we need to talk.”
My father gets in the car and the next thing I know they are speeding off into the distance, a blur in the night on our empty street.
“Come on, let’s go inside and get some ice cream and watch some of ‘Gilmore Girls.’ until dad gets back.”
“Ok. Sounds like a plan,” I reply as I turn to head inside.
“Yuri, you know that just because you look like him doesn't mean we see you as him.”
I immediately know what she is talking about.
“You may not think of me that way but our father does, Natsu has made that mistake with me quite a few times. He never looks me in the eye. I know Natsu loves me, but I also know he loves Touya a lot more and that grief is still a sword in his heart.”