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Morning.
Sunlight.
Bed.
…Not his bed.
Not his bed.
Miles woke up with a start, realizing where he was. If it weren’t for his good memory reminding him last night’s events, he surely would’ve been able to deduce it from the abundance of clothes on the floor and the lack of clothes on his body.
And next to him lay Phoenix, equally as undressed as he was.
Miles had never seen him like this. Peacefully sleeping, his toned chest rising and falling, squeezing little snores from his throat. There was a trail of drool running from the corner of his mouth and his spikes were an absolute mess. He looked so serene in the sunlight. So serene and…
Vulnerable.
Last night, Phoenix fully let his guard down for Miles. He bared his deepest emotions, as well as his skin. And while Miles reciprocated physically, emotionally, he just couldn’t. Sure, it was more than he had ever shown anyone, but he just couldn’t let himself be completely vulnerable. Not even to Phoenix.
He realized what he had done. He didn’t mean to get this close to Phoenix, entering his safe space without allowing him to enter his. Miles was overcome with guilt, feeling like he took advantage of Phoenix’s defenseless state.
But it was too late now. That kiss, their intercourse, it turned the relationship into something. Something that requires absolute vulnerability. Something he just couldn’t give Phoenix.
Phoenix deserved better than someone who can’t show him the same openness he showed Miles. He was right after all, it would be better for him not to be in Phoenix’s life anymore. He shouldn’t have returned in the first place. He should’ve stayed dead.
So he did what he did best: flee.
Luckily, Phoenix wasn’t on him or clinging onto him. Miles was able to get out of bed without waking him up.
He gathered his clothes and started putting them on. He was so close to escaping, but the sound of his belt buckle betrayed him. The metallic clinking sounded through the room, reaching Phoenix’s ears and waking him up.
“Mmm… Miles?”
He turned towards Phoenix’s voice. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
“W-Wright.”
So we’re back to last names. Phoenix thought to himself. It didn’t take much longer to register what was happening. The sudden coldness, the formalities, Miles looking like he was busted while trying to dress himself.
He was leaving. Again.
Miles expected Phoenix to get angry. To hurl his hurt towards him. To call him every name in the book. Instead, he… smiled. It was a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. The calm reaction scared Miles more than an outburst would have.
“Guess I should’ve known better than to expect you changed. That’s on me.” His eyes were filled with sadness.
“Ph- Phoenix, I—“
Phoenix gently interrupted him, still smiling. “No. Don’t bother, Miles. It’s just who you’ve become, right? It was stupid of me to think that I could change you. It’s alright. That’s just how it is, I guess. I already mourned you. So don’t worry about this causing me grief again.”
Miles didn’t know what to say. Phoenix was so… composed. There wasn’t a hint of bitterness or anger or resentment in his voice. It was just sadness and acceptance.
When Phoenix didn’t get a response, he broke the silence again.
“… Maybe it’s best if you leave. I think I wanna sleep a bit more. You’ll find your way out, right?”
Miles was frozen where he stood. He still couldn’t believe the way Phoenix was talking to him. Not that he wanted Phoenix to be angry or beg him to stay or anything. It’s just not what he expected.
He figured that maybe it’s indeed best to just go. He didn’t want to say anything that could disrupt Phoenix’s current tranquility. He deserved to remain calm. He deserved peace. Miles headed to the bedroom door, as much as it hurt him to to do so.
“Oh, and Miles?”
He turned around to face Phoenix again. Maybe he’ll ask him to stay after all. Maybe he would be okay with the fact that Miles just needed a bit more time to open up. Maybe they could work it out. Maybe he didn’t have to leave.
“When you go… And you’re thinking about coming back one day…
… Maybe don’t.”