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“Eeh, are you sure?”
Shigeo nods, “Un, I’m sure.”
Tome sighs, her head shaking as she looks out at the street, “Well, I can tell that we’re all gonna miss you while you’re gone, Mob.” Her eyes flit down, to the road, and she continues in a quieter voice, “it’ll be less interesting without you around, for sure.”
“Hm, what’s that?” Shigeo missed what Tome was trying to say because of the strong wind, so he asks her again. “Can you repeat that again, Tome?”
“I-It’s nothing!” Tome, who almost started sweating thanks to her panic, instead looks away from him and says. “Anyway, here’s my stop, see you tomorrow, Mob!”
“Mhm, see you tomorrow.”
With a wave and a smile, Shigeo watches as his friend crosses the street in a hurry. He wonders if haste was even necessary though, the roads in Yasai city are never crowded enough, and Tome’s destination isn’t that far to warrant a jog.
Shigeo tries to reconsider their previous conversation since it is a matter of his high school admission, finding himself bewildered by his friend’s reactions to his move. Though, simply put, his father has been granted a promotion in the city and just wished to bring the whole family along.
Of course, there is an issue with Ritsu, since he’d have to transfer as a third year, but he insists on going anyway. For Shigeo, this is the perfect timing as he’s about to finish his last year of school.
Maybe, this is just the change that he needs to fully grow into a better person? To be someone more confident, to become more mature, even.
Shigeo touches his bag, where the admission papers are, tucked safely in between the files for math homework and science textbook, and resumes his walk towards the post office. He’s glad that this way coincides with Tome’s home route since it’s not every day that Shigeo finds himself threading through the familiar streets alone.
Usually, he’s either at the office helping Reigen with cases, or at home chatting with Ritsu, while his little brother is busy doing his homework. Or even hanging out at the body improvement club to celebrate the last month of activity as a senior third year.
But today, none of that is happening. Today, the school got dismissed early, and there is no club activity to do, while Ritsu is still busy with his class duties. Even Reigen told him to not come today and spend the day out since he’s busy with non-spirit-related consultations. Shigeo feels a bit.. free, in a sense that he can’t describe.
Free and perhaps… a little lonely?
That reminder was all that he needed for a chill to crawl down his nape because the last time he walked outside alone was when…
“Oh, Kageyama-kun!”
The call of his name snapped Shigeo out of the flicker of an unpleasant memory that had nearly gripped him.
That was close… With an uneasy smile, he looks up to see a familiar girl standing by the door to the post office and does his best to return the greeting. “Hi.”
Emi smiles back as she lifts off from leaning against the wall, a brown envelope clutched tight in her hands. “Hi! It’s been a while since we last talked, don’t we? What are you up to at the post office?”
“Taking care of an important document,” and, in a weird, out of nowhere action, Shigeo blurts out a question back. “You?”
Instead of brushing it off as expected, Emi replies easily, “You know, literature stuff. I’m entering another contest– which I’ll definitely win this time!”
“Ooh!” Shigeo can only let out a breath of exclamation. He had heard of her winning second place in a magazine recently, it’s all the school teachers can talk about last week. “I’m sure you will, you’re getting better already.”
Emi gave him a questioning look at that comment, causing Shigeo to want to break in sweat from thinking he had said something wrong. “Wait no I mean–”
“I didn’t know you read.” She hummed, her head tilting sideways as if a predator finding prey. “Heeh, so you’ve been reading my stories huh?”
“It’s good..” Shigeo says truthfully, confused as to why his instinct is telling him to be careful, answering, “I really liked the one that you submitted to Tenshokai.”
“The one with the animal kings?” Emi asks as she opens the door, entering the building while holding the door open.
Oh right, he should enter alongside her in this case. “Yes, the Peng King character was fun to read.”
“I see.”
For a while, it seems as if neither of them is going to talk and continue the conversation, but the postal service seems busy out of nowhere today, and the clerks with the shortest line also happen to be side by side. So Shigeo still finds himself in Emi’s company for the foreseeable few minutes. “So, I hear you’re going to move?”
“Yes.”
“Where to?”
“Yamamachi.”
“Isn’t that pretty far?”
It is. Shigeo hums in affirmation.
Emi, still relentless in asking, moves one spot ahead and sighs, “Is it because you got rejected by Tsubomi?”
As it is almost Shigeo’s turn to move, Emi’s proclamation catches him off guard to the point of nearly stumbling. “N-No! Where did you even hear that from?!”
Instead of answering, Emi hides her giggles behind the brown envelope. “Nah I’m just joking! You’re not the only one that got rejected by our school diva. Cheer up! There’s plenty of other fish in the sea!”
“Thank you..” Shigeo replies with a smidge of embarrassment, “It wasn’t that bad if I’m honest, I’ve forgotten why I even confessed in the first place.”
That seems to be the wrong thing to say as Emi’s eyes glitters with curiosity and anticipation instead. “Wow, that can happen? Were you told to go on a dare to confess?”
“No nothing like that, I assure you it was sincere in the beginning,” he remembers the circumstances that brought them together in a short while… and shudders as he thought of it happening with himself as the culprit this time. “I had a crush on her since we were kids, but it was just one-sided from my end. Her rejection made that very clear.”
For a little while Emi stays silent, with her brows furrowed ever so slightly that they might meet if it continues for another minute or two. And it does, along with the newfound frown that upsets her face. “Let me ask you a couple of questions if you don’t mind— it’s just for a frame of reference so don’t think too much of it— you said you harbored a crush on Tsubomi since childhood?”
“Yes”
“For how long exactly?”
That makes him math the years automatically, “Considering we were from kindergarten then.. I suppose it’s been 12 years?”
“So think about it for a sec. You’re telling me that a crush that lasted more than a decade, starting from kindergarten, so we might count that as your first love since it fits– is..over.. just like that?” with her free hand, Emi emphasizes the reasoning by making a blown-up gesture, “Are you serious?”
“I..”
That sudden turn of events has made Shigeo speechless. Nothing in that statement is wrong, per se, but it feels as if there is a nagging feeling that she has missed something.
But as to what she has missed, Shigeo himself can’t tell. He can only keep going and digs to find what it is he wants to say. “It’s just.. Complicated.”
Great going, Shigeo. You have to elaborate more than just that. “I don’t think I ever seriously fell in love with her. I fell for the idea that she represents; someone who doesn’t think differently of me despite everything else that is, and she was just indifferent enough around me that I mistook it as something else. I did not see that that’s how she was to everyone else. That I wasn’t special in her eyes because no one else is.”
“Sheesh, that’s harsh.” Emi hisses slowly under her breath and takes a step forward the line again. “I learned something new today.”
Shigeo snaps back as he realizes what he just said. “Um, please don’t tell anyone about this.. just my opinion on the situation.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Emi in reply mimes the motion of zipping her mouth and throwing away the key, nearly hitting a new person that’s lining up behind her. “Anyway, now that’s that out of the way, I’m really curious as to the reason for your move.”
Oh, that’s pretty easy to answer, “It’s nothing big, I’m moving because my father gets appointed in another town and he wants us to come with him.”
“Awh really?” Emi mouths her disappointment clearly enough as she dodges the person in front of her, “I really thought it was because you found something you wanted to do or running away from.. haah, I guess it was kind of delusional of me to think it was because of the rejection, eh?”
Shigeo wants to ask her what she meant by that, but the persons in line before them both have finished and it’s now their turn to move. So, he shelves his question for later and instead deals with the clerk.
Carefully, Shigeo fishes out the admission letter, tucked securely inside the generic brown envelope and hands it over to the man behind the counter, who takes it with a brief glance of the address and immediately puts it onto the table, fished out two stamps and, while sticking them to the front looked up to stare him right in the eyes and says,
“That will be 85 yen.”
“Ah, here.” Shigeo hands over the coin on the allocated tray, though he doesn’t have to wait long for the man to finish counting, and puts his letter aside with the others in a box.
And something, a little weight with the mass of a pebble, seems to sink into his mind without him knowing why.
Shigeo once again snaps himself back to the present just in time for the clerk, as if asking if he has anything else to do, motion to him with his eyes. He’s about to chastise himself for being shocked at the expected question when he remembers that Reigen says it’s rather normal to be caught off guard at the weirdest time.
So Shigeo excuses himself in silence as he notices Emi finishing at the exact same time, what a coincidence.
Walking away from that counter is somehow more nerve-wracking than being stared at by a girl, Shigeo makes it a good distance away before Emi once again resumes their conversation. “Just to make it clear, I am not judging you by the way, it is perfectly normal to crush on someone that accepts you as you are. I think that’s even the most basic reason to have a crush on someone so you’re good on that front.”
“I guess? But it was bad of me to saddle her with that kind of expectation. It must have been heavy.” He says truthfully, remembering that day once again, still as vivid as yesterday. “I apologized to her about it, but I guess it doesn’t really matter since we don’t really know each other that well.”
“That’s.. Heavy for sure.” The brunette’s expression becomes dimmer as she once again leans against the postal box. “So you’re saying you don’t have anyone else that accepts you have special powers, aside from her?”
“It’s not all that special.” Shigeo rebuts immediately on reflex, “It’s just.. an extra tool that I happen to possess.”
“But it is pretty special though!” Emi counters whilst pointing right in the middle of his forehead, “Why would you even think otherwise? You’re literally the only esper I know!”
That is a rather easy misconception to fix, Shigeo thought. He can’t say much for anyone else, but from what he knows, most espers that aren’t joining organizations lead rather low-key lives. “Not every esper likes being known, most of us blend with the masses and live normal lives. I don’t like being perceived just because of my ability either..”
He pauses for a moment, remembering how Reigen seems to be the exception to this rule. Someone who loves to receive attention no matter how minuscule, even if it’s the wrong kind at all. Shisou is truly the exception of exceptions–
“Oho, I see something there~”
The singsong voice pulls Shigeo back to the present and makes him feel a little regretful for not paying attention, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
Emi hides her mouth behind her hand, though Shigeo can still tell that she’s smiling behind it. Giggling, even. “So, should I ask who you were thinking just now or are you going to tell me yourself?”
What a weird, roundabout way to ask a question, but Shigeo answers anyway. “My mentor.” Then, in another fit of impulse, he follows with a question of his own. “Why?”
The girl smiled at him, looking rather radiant under the golden glow of the sunset, and instead of answering him, utters something else entirely unrelated. “Tell me about your Shishou!”
That is new. As in, this never happened before, kind of new.
Shigeo thinks that this might be the first time anyone ever asked about Reigen-san after hearing about him and, since Shigeo is honest, he’s more than happy to share.. whatever it is Emi wants to know so she can stop pestering him all the way home. “If I have to describe him then I’d say he is very charismatic. A perfect leader type, who seems to know what to do at difficult times.”
Memories of Reigen flow out of his lips, smoother than Shigeo would ever think being, and it seems no matter what, he feels like he doesn’t want to stop. “He was the one who taught me to not fear my power after.. a rather unsavory accident, that it depends on the person to use it for good. That I can use it for good.”
“I never told anyone else before, no one who’s not involved that time at least but.. do you remember the day when there was a sudden typhoon warning a few months ago?”
“I remember…” Emi nods her head slower and slower as understanding dawns on her. “Wait, don’t tell me it was–”
Shigeo hums in confirmation, still too guilty to utter the word ‘yes’ as a solid confirmation. Emi’s jaws fall slack nonetheless.
“On my way to meet Tsubomi for the date, I panicked and caused problems for everyone. They all tried to stop me but failed. Thankfully, Shishou somehow managed to get through to me in the end…” He continues with his story regardless of her, though pauses as he cringes at the memory, “It was quite an embarrassing thing to ever happen, I still feel bad about it even though Shishou says everyone mostly didn’t mind.”
Shigeo feels the sigh building up in his chest and lets it go, though he feels no relief, it still helps him to calm down a little bit. Reigen, despite not even being here, always manages to calm him down no matter the situation.
“He does feel like a guardian angel, now that I think about it.”
The sound of a light chuckle that came from his side reminded Shigeo of what he just blurts out, causing his face to heat up immediately down to the neck. “E-Emi..”
“I hear you! Loud and clear!” She answers while smiling from ear to ear.
Shigeo once again wishes he can bury himself deep within the earth’s crust. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t, I won’t… Who do you think I am?” She shook her head lightly, though immediately chuckling lightly behind her hands once again. “Geez, Kageyama, you’re so funny you know?”
Shigeo tilts his head to the side in confusion. “What’s funny?”
They’ve reached the riverbank, where the sun can be seen sinking under the horizon’s line, when the girl turns around with the most mischievous smile Shigeo has ever seen, second only to Reigen’s own, as she says,
“Kageyama, you’re talking about your mentor like a man in love, you know?”
In..love?
“Yeah, I’m talking about you!” Emi reiterates with confidence, “The way you talk so fondly of him, the way you smile, plus the fact that it was so easy for you to get over your crush.. Isn’t that all simply because as you said, you weren’t in love with Tsubomi at all, it was with someone else!”
“I…” Shigeo finds himself speechless, with his mouth opening and closing without making any sounds. “That doesn’t sound right.”
“Hm? What makes you say that?” Emi asks counters instantly with a nonchalant tone and a confident smile, “Calling me a liar, Kageyama?”
“It just doesn’t sound right.” Shigeo pauses, knowing he should deny this baseless accusation and clear Reigen’s name before anyone overhears. “You’re insinuating I’m in love with my mentor.”
“Yes.”
It frustrates Shigeo. The way that she answers thoughtlessly, with that big grin and conspiratorial smile. The person that Shigeo treated as a friend, treating his confessions as if it was materials for her story to write–
“I thought you have more integrity than this, Akasaka. I was wrong.”
He is infuriated.
Shigeo is pretty sure that the girl shouts for him to wait, but he’s not going to wait. His feet already take him away from that bridge intersection, trying to get him as far away from the cause of his newfound stressor as possible when he tries to teleport and fails and had to start running–
“IF I’M WRONG THEN WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY!?”
Shigeo stops.
“IF I’M WRONG THEN I’M SORRY– BUT YOU KNOW I’M NOT!”
He wills his feet to start moving but it stays stuck.
“Kageyama…!”
The sound of footsteps, the voice approaching him as Shigeo desperately. tries. to. move!
“....If I’m wrong, then why do you look like you’re going to cry?”
And Shigeo
Starts
Falling.
There are clouds in the sky, swirling lazily as it parts under the orange glow of the sun. Rays of lights dance in between layers of air that appear as if ribbony. Summer wind caresses his cheeks as the warmth seeps in between his ribcage and shut his mouth close with a sharp clack.
Teleporting. The basics are not that hard once mastered but knowing the theory and applying it in practice are two different things entirely. This is the first time that Shigeo has ever tried to manifest himself away, resulting in him appearing tens of kilometers in the air, free-falling as the gravity of the earth pulls him back down while the wind is telling him to look up.
His heart races, his lungs dry and every breath taken seems as if it’ll be stolen away the next. Shigeo struggles to right his position, to make sure he’s braced for what comes next, to take a breath but blinks instead—
And the next thing he knows, his feet have planted themselves firmly at the front door of the Spirits and Such Consultation Office.
Without any fanfare or notice. Shigeo finds himself appearing in front of the most familiar set of doors. The metal coating glistens as if beckoning him to open and step inside.
He knows what he’ll find inside though. Already knowing that there won’t be anyone welcoming him in as he twists that doorknob. Now that he’s a little calmer, Shigeo isn’t even sure if he brought the spare keys to the office…
So why is he here?
“Mob, is that you?”
He stiffens at the calling of his name, his head turning quickly to assess the source as he already knows the person behind that voice. Reigen-shishou is climbing the stairs in an unhurried manner, though he soon seems to put some more energy behind each step when their eyes meet. “Oh, it’s really you! What are you doing here this late?”
Good question, shishou… unfortunately, Shigeo himself has no idea why he even teleported here in the first place. “I um..”
“Ah it’s fine, you’re here at the right time!” Reigen-shishou cuts him before any excuse can be made and slips past him to unlock the door, “Come in, come in.”
Without any reason to say no, Shigeo steps in behind his mentor to enter the office. It looks a lot more spruced up than the last visit, and a lot cleaner too. Serizawa’s table seems to also have been replaced with a new one, with a width that could comfortably house his large build.
Shigeo looked at the sight of his former table and saw that Tome has made it hers with a cute acrylic display of a cartoony-looking alien, a desk mat, and some small flip-books scattering the surface. On the far left corner of the desk rests a small photo frame, glittered with stickers of UFO and hearts, containing the photo of the club plus Tsubomi from when they were chasing that UFO…
Somehow, the sight of it evokes a tightening sense in his chest. “What do you need my help with?”
Reigen-shishou, who had disappeared under the desk, replies with a cheery voice, “Nothing, just come over here!”
Shigeo obliges and follows to the back of his mentor’s desk, seeing that he’s just closing the small safe with the heel of his foot, and once again, their eyes meet as his mentor smiles. “Here’s a little something from me– “
Reigen-shishou hands him a book. A bank notebook to be precise, one that has his name written on it despite never making one before.
“-well, from the whole office but obviously I was the one who started it so..!”
There is a lot of money deposited into the book. The amount for recent weeks' deposits have the most staggering amount of nearly 1.000.000 yen, deposited in a single day, but anything older than last week varies from 3000 to 5000 yen—
No.. it can’t be that, right?
“I can read that from your face, you’ve figured out where this money came from, hm?” Reigen-shishou’ chuckle rings through both his ears, “Let it be known that Arataka Reigen never exploits his employees! This is the result of your hard work for the past eight years, along with a few employee bonuses for the year end’s work-”
Shigeo has stopped listening at this point, his mind turning blank, almost a mush-like texture as all thoughts halt and refuse to continue. The bank book in his hands simultaneously feels like the heaviest boulder to ever exist and also the lightest paper akin to a leaf. A leaf so light that it might get blown by the wind if he ever slips and lets go and Shigeo…
“Well, what do you think?”
It is by chance that he just so happens to raise his eyes up, to see the face of his mentor. It is also by chance that the sunset today bathes the city in its mesmerizing golden glow. It is also a miracle of some random godly proportion that not only Reigen-shishou is the only person that Shigeo knows to have an ungodly amount of charisma, he also possesses the most beautiful blond hair that the boy knows of.
By the alignment of time and place, the sight of Arataka Reigen that stands by the half-open window has made him look as if he is glowing in a divine radiance.
“Mob?”
Shigeo doesn’t know what to think of this. Let alone breathing, he’s not even sure if his heart is even beating.
“I-I’m fine shishou..” Shigeo forces himself to say something, thanking the gift, nodding, and even taking some steps away so he doesn’t snap. “I didn’t expect this..”
“Haha! If you saw through it then it wouldn’t be a surprise at all!” Reigen-shishou chuckles again as he leans on the table and before Shigeo could register it, a weight settles on his head. “You know, this move was a bit of a sudden news, but I’m glad we get to send you off with something other than the memories.”
Shigeo refuses to look up. He can’t. Not after he just got slapped with the truth that he refused to acknowledge. Not when those memories that this man is talking about are actually the most precious treasure that he could have given Shigeo.
The memories in the eyes of that tornado rush back to behind his eyes, replaying, overlapping with time and time again that Reigen had braved the dangers just so he can be by his side when Shigeo needs him. At some point, has he become so selfish to expect that it would always happen?
Mogami’s laugh rings from far away. The phantom refuses to leave ever since that day but with Reigen.. When Shigeo is with him, the world becomes silent.
His eyes had strayed to the door, the agency door that he entered all those years ago and wondered once again how lucky he was to meet someone that had given him a chance. And wonder why now he just realizes that when he’s about to lose it all.
Warmth pools under his eyelids and around his shoulders, where Reigen has rested his arms sideways to face the door alongside him. Standing by his side, and hugging him for the longest time the man ever did in ages, and says,
“You’ll do great out there, Shigeo. I’m proud of you, you know?”
Emi was right after all. Maybe she did see this as a story since that is what all it was to her, but her sense as an author was correct. That unnamed feeling did have a name.
With slowness akin to molasses, the weight that settles in his chest starts to lighten, and Shigeo tries his best to look up with not a tear in his eyes to reply.
“Yeah, I know.”
It takes about a week for the family to finish packing up all their belongings. There isn’t much that they’re bringing to the new city, but there are a lot of things to give and throw away. Last minute things to do. Like attending the graduation ceremony, and apologizing for your unintentional misdeeds.
“Again, I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”
“Don’t be formal like that, you’re forgiven.” Emi uncrosses her hands as she returns the bow back, her graduation certificate clutched tight in her hands as if it was a lifeline. “I should also apologize to you too for making assumptions. It crossed the line.”
“No, you’re… right.” Shigeo cuts her off, to the surprise of the brunette, “It was just as you suspected.. I was just in denial about it.”
The two of them stood by the gate in silence. Shigeo let the wind enjoy itself as the fresh scent of spring fills the air of the
“Oh?” Really, she seems to ask.
“Mhm.” He answers.
“Ooh.” I see, her tone indicates.
They kept standing there, watching as parents passed by and those that were with their children took photos of them with their friends. Some are crying, some are grinning from ear to ear, and Shigeo even spots Tsubomi still getting bombarded with confessions one last time by every boy that dares to try.
Not that it matters to him anymore. Shigeo even manages to smile and wave when their eyes meet and she notices him from a distance. It is weirdly freeing to be able to look at someone and feel nothing towards them. He turns back towards Emi to see her eyes trailing back after Shigeo, mouth already halfway opened though never uttering a sound as at that moment her parents found her and waved over.
“I’ll go over there and see what they want.. Have fun Kageyama.”
“You too.” Shigeo replies, meaning it this time, and takes a deep breath as he watches his own parents fussing with Ritsu and his homeroom teacher. It shouldn’t be too long until they’re done—
“Oh, there he is!”
Instantly Shigeo snaps his head to the source of that voice.
His eyes immediately rest upon the figure– no, figures standing across the road, one of them waving gently as they cross the street. Serizawa-san, along with Reigen-shishou, took a casual pace of walking though it feels as if merely a blink of an eye has passed when they arrive in front of him. Reigen-shishou especially, looking more groomed than he usually does for clients, smiling widely that it almost blinds Shigeo’s eyes. “Yo, Mob~ Didn’t expect us to show up here huh?”
No, he absolutely did not. “H-Why are you.. What?”
“Heh! That’s a good expression.” Reigen-shishou chuckles as he snaps a picture with his phone. “You didn’t think we’d miss your graduation ceremony, right? Come on, stand straight and pose in front of the wreath!”
Shigeo moves on reflex as Reigen-shisou maneuvers him to the gate where the graduation flower wreath stands, just in time after a couple of parents are done taking photos in front of it. He can’t really think when he is once again touched by that set of warm hands, positioning him to stand straighter and stand beside the blond man.
He thought of asking but then made another mistake of looking up to see the face of his mentor smiling back down at him. Coupled with the clear, sunny day, blue sky, and the wafting scent of sakura as the petals drift flowing in the wind, Shigeo finds his thoughts tongue-tied with awe and adoration and...
Ah, so this is how it’s supposed to feel like. Sweet with a hint of bitterness.
“Thank you for coming today, Shishou.” Thank you for always being with me when I need it.
Reigen winks and his grins morph even wider as he pulls Shigeo into him with his left hand as his answer. Serizawa clicks the camera, and a loud but also quiet snap rings throughout Shigeo’s head and heart as the flash momentarily engulfs his vision for a split second.
In the photo that came out of that day, for once, Shigeo’s eyes aren’t closed.