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It took awhile for Bruce to finally feel as though he could call New York home. Stark Tower, yes—that had become home very fast, a fact he gratefully attributed to Tony and Pepper both. But, easy as it was to forget, there was a city outside the Tower, and it took longer to familiarize himself with Manhattan, memorizing every nearby shop, every avenue, every possible contingency plan. Perhaps such things weren’t necessary, not this time, but survival instincts never went away. And even after the Beifong fiasco had demonstrated the pointlessness of contingency plans (in more ways than one), he still caught himself thinking, in odd moments, about what he would do if he ever needed to run.
And of course, there were the practical aspects of settling into a new town—which grocery stores had overpriced cereal (all of them), where the closest farmer’s market was (Dag Hammarskjold Plaza on Wednesdays), and which bagel shop sold the best lox (Absolute Bagels). He liked to wander, though, and it gave him a chance to get to know new people. He started to stake out regular haunts, and the day Bruce achieved first-name recognition with the cashier at a tea shop on the Lower East Side was the day he finally declared the city home.
The day he tried to get Tony to come with him, however, was something else entirely.
“Bruce, buddy, how have you not picked up on this yet,” Tony said. “I do my caffeine strong and fast. Coffee in the morning, espresso to get me through the day. Coffee again at night. I don’t do tea, and I definitely don’t bother to stop for ‘teatime.’”
“Caffeine intake isn’t the point of going out for tea,” Bruce said patiently, “There are so many better reasons to drink tea, and there’s the international, time-honored tradition of taking time out of your day to sit and clear your mind. Something both of us could remember to do more often.”
“The day I need to ‘clear my mind’ is the day Thor ends his affair with his hammer,” he retorted, batting Dummy aside as he tried to help with the circuit Tony was tinkering with. “You know I love you like Yoda loves convoluted sentences, but no joy, Banner.”
“Can we stop and remember that karaoke bar you dragged me to last week?” Bruce countered, “Think of this as reciprocity. And hey, I wasn’t going to bring this up, but I still have that video footage from the Stanley Cup party, and I’ve picked up a thing or two about JARVIS’s coding since I moved in. It wouldn’t be that hard for me to override him and put that up on YouTube for the world to see.”
Tony grinned at that.
“Resorting to blackmail, huh? You know, you do that innocence thing so well, Bruce, but you’re as devious as the rest of us...”
Bruce snorted. “So people keep telling me. Come on, it won’t be that bad. We’ll get a chance to sit down, and we can actually talk about where we’re going next with this project instead of shouting things across the lab at each other and forgetting to write them down.”
“Next thing I know you’ll be instilling an actual work ethic in me,” he muttered, “and where would my reputation be after that?”
****
Tony walked past the length of the shop, peering into the windows with a faux casualness before he stopped and rounded on Bruce.
“No,” he shook his head, “No way in hell I’m getting caught in a place like that.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s so…organic,” Tony said, wrinkling his nose. “Too hippie-dippie eco-friendly for my tastes anytime, anywhere.”
“Tony, your company is making its best name for itself in clean energy,” Bruce said, fighting to keep the amusement out of his voice. “Eco-friendly’s your new M.O. ”
“Yeah, but we’re saving the earth through the sleek power of high-tech genius,” Tony said, “They’re doing it through pretty flowers and rice milk.”
Bruce rolled his eyes.
“Come on, Tony, they’ve got some of the best tea selection in the city,” he said, “It’s either this or Alice’s Tea Cup…”
Tony gave Bruce a long look as he folded his arms.
“Okay, I’ll bite” he said, “what could possibly be any worse about Alice’s Tea Cup than this joint?"
“The walls are painted pink.”
Tony shuddered, held up his hands in surrender. “Fine! Fine, let’s go in. Just promise me you’ll sic the Other Guy on anyone who tries to get a picture of me in this place.”
Bruce knew from the start that he’d be forever giving up his anonymity by taking Tony here, but he still hadn’t quite gotten used to the looks and murmurings that surrounded them whenever they went to a place like this. The woman behind the counter stared at Tony in astonishment, and it was only after Bruce gently said “excuse me” twice that she brought out the menus. Tony flipped through his in bemusement.
“So, like I said,” Bruce said, “They’ve got a pretty wide selection, so if you want any suggestions…”
“I’ll have a pot of the Golden Monkey,” Tony said briskly, looking the cashier straight in the eye, “And I’m paying for the both of us, here.”
“Jasmine tea, please,” Bruce told the waitress, “and a brownie for each of us.”
“Golden Monkey?” Bruce muttered as Tony fished out a credit card, “How do you even know…”
Tony shrugged. “Most interesting name on the menu. I’m telling you, Bruce, I don’t do this teatime thing.”
The customers in the shop all continued to whisper and shuffle aside, giving them a wide berth as they tried to find a table to sit at. They made their way slowly towards the front windows, and Bruce noticed an elderly Asian woman sitting unfazed in the corner, sipping calmly at her tea as though one of the country’s most famous billionaires hadn’t just walked in the front door. A small smile played at her lips, though, and Bruce narrowed his eyes. There was something familiar about her…
He nudged Tony, and the two of them made their way towards the corner. Tony didn’t seem to notice the woman until they sat down and she looked straight at them, her eyes milky white. She carried that same hint of a smile, and refused to drop her gaze as the two settled into their seats. Tony sat with his back to her, determinedly trying to ignore her, but when their tea finally came and she still hadn’t taken her eyes off of them he sighed and turned around.
“Got a problem, lady?”
“Well, well,” she said, a cheerfully sardonic lilt to her voice, “I always wondered how Iron Man would step. Would he at least try for a bit of subtlety, or would he stomp around like he lived in the suit? You wear your shoes out pretty quick, I’ll bet.”
There were few people in this world who could tell when Tony Stark was unnerved. Bruce was one of them.
“Did—did you just—” he looked at Bruce in disbelief before turning back to stare at the woman. “Did you just insult the way that I walked?”
“Just stating the facts.” She took another careful sip of her tea.
“And how do you know who I am?” he continued indignantly, “You can’t even see me.”
“I’ve heard your voice on the TV a fair number of times, Stark,” she said, “you’re pretty hard to miss, these days. And like I said, you stomp around like you never take the armor off.”
“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are—”
“You’re Toph Beifong,” Bruce interrupted quietly. Tony choked on his tea. “Lin’s mother.”
Her eyebrows raised.
“And here I thought Iron Man was supposed to be the smart one,” she said archly. “Which one are you, sunshine? So sure of where you step, but so careful, too—not quite the superhero profile.”
“Well, I’m not what you’d call a superhero,” he answered, “At least, not in this state. I’m Bruce Banner.”
She laughed into her teacup, surprised but clearly enjoying herself.
“Are you now?” she said, shaking her head. “Are you really.”
“‘Course he is,” Tony narrowed his eyes. “And if you are who he says you are, you can kindly metalbend yourself out the door.”
She put down her teacup, her face darkening.
“Chip on your shoulder, Stark?”
“As a matter of fact, yeah, I do,” he said, “it's a chip roughly the size and shape of your double-crossing daughter, and it makes for a bit of a tight fit while I’m trying to enjoy my fair-trade hypo-earthy vegan brownie.”
Bruce looked down into his tea. Here we go…
“Listen here, flyboy,” Toph said lightly, “You’re the last person in this town who can hold people accountable for the sins of their relatives. I’ve been in this town a hell of a lot longer than you—I don’t think you want me bringing up the name of Howard Stark to even half of my friends here.”
She twitched her fingers just noticeably, and Tony winced as the metal Iron Man bracelets tightened around his wrists. “And if you think my daughter’s metalbending was tough to go up against, just try forcing me out of here. I invented the damn art.”
She flicked her fingers again and the bracelets loosened. Tony leaned forward, his eyes flashing.
“Hey, guys, this is a decent-sized place,” Bruce put in quickly, “I’m sure that there’s room for all of us to enjoy our tea here peaceably. And without making a mess.”
Toph turned to him, her expression changing from angry to mildly irritated.
“A negotiator, eh?” she said, “Wouldn’t have pegged you as the type, with Big Green as your alter-ego.”
“Oh, he’s even better at it then I am,” Bruce quipped, “You’d be surprised at how willing people are to compromise with a raging peacemaker.”
She gave a little chuckle and shook her head.
“Quick on your feet, too,” she said, “I can see why Lin likes you.”
Bruce raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t realize stabbing me with a needle and kidnapping me in the dead of night meant that she
liked
me.”
Toph smirked. “It’s how the women in our family show affection.”
Tony snorted at that.
“So, Beifong the Elder,” he said, “If you invented metalbending, how come you weren’t the first big superhero to grace this town’s presence?”
“Have you taken a good look at me yet, Stark?” she countered wryly, “I don’t exactly fit the papers’ picture of an All-American hero. The Cold War hadn’t even started to thaw when I first came here.
“Nah, I kept the metal-bending for myself, mostly,” she continued, “Used it to fix cars. It paid well enough, and people’s reactions when they saw the little blind woman work auto-mechanic wonders were worth their weight in gold. Amazing what a little bending can do to fix even the worst problems.”
At the word “cars,” Tony’s expression changed. He considered her, something approaching respect in his eyes.
“Auto-mechanic, huh?” he asked, “Ever get your hands on one of those old Cobras? Mine got completely totalled a few years back, been having a hell of a time trying to get it up and running again...”
“Well, just how much did you total it?” Toph replied, “if it’s a question of the exterior you should be fine, but if you ruined the engine you’re in a bit of a bind, these days. Those don’t come cheap...”
Bruce leaned back, took a long, patient sip of tea. They’d be here all afternoon at this rate.
Toph must have picked up on his resignation, because she turned to him with a grin.
“A bit over your head, sunshine?” she asked sweetly.
“No, Tony’s bored me with car talk enough over the months,” Bruce replied, “I know my stuff by now. I just didn’t count on mixing motor oil in with jasmine tea.”
“Best sweetener there is,” she said, “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Toph and Tony wound up arguing about cars for the rest of the afternoon, until Bruce finally had to remind Tony that he’d be late for dinner with Pepper for the third night in a row if they didn’t leave soon. Tony gave a little wave goodbye, before Bruce nudged him and he got in one last dig at Toph’s preference for practical as opposed to fancy automobiles.
“Just remember what I can do to those rich rides if you piss me off, Stark!” she called good-naturedly at his back. Bruce got up to follow him out of the shop, but Toph caught his arm as he made to leave.
“Hey, Banner,” she said. “don’t be a stranger here on my account. I come here a lot, and I know you’ve got a weird history with my daughter, but you seem like a good kid. I won’t harass you every time you step in the shop.”
Bruce smiled. “Hey, I doubt I’m ever going to be able to get Tony back in here. Company...company might be nice, every once in awhile.”
She smiled back. “Count on it.”