Chapter Text
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Miguel and Miles were in a very weird place after Miles saved his dad, kicked Spot’s ass and proved that Miguel’s whole multiverse was a tad bit flawed. It must have been a hit to the ego for any of that to happen and Miles was pretty sure the older man was close to having a breakdown after dealing with Spot and being around Miles wasn’t helping. So, Miles kept his distance for both of their benefits and didn’t go back to headquarters for the time being (even if he was told that he was always welcomed back by Jess and Peter).
He appreciates the offer, don’t let the hesitation fool you! But he knew that he and Miguel needed space from each other, for the chance to regroup and think less of their relationship as two people who were trying to kill each other and let something more…neutral take its place. Also Miles just wanted the time to think about Spider Society and where his place was with all of it. You know with the whole being betrayed, being isolated from ever joining and finally, being kept in the dark about his dad’s “canonical” demise—if there was hint of bitterness weaved in and out that sentence—sue him. Miles wasn't one to hold a grudge but he felt this one was earned, damn it.
However as the weeks turned into months, Miles was feeling more forgiving about everything and removed from all made the healing process more easier to navigate. He and Gwen were better and stronger than ever as friends, thanks to Gwen’s persistence and Miles’ need to be with his friends. She was adamant about winning Miles and gaining his forgiveness—the amount of gifts, chocolates and new collectables that had begun crowding one corner of his room was somewhat concerning—even when Miles was very clear that he had forgiven her and that she could stop with the presents.
Gwen got this weird intense look in her eyes but agreed to stop if it would make him happy. She then leaned really close in and rubbed her cheek against his neck, and that was…cool! He didn’t remember her being that affectionate but it has been a year since they spent much time together, people can change. Besides, Gwen kept her word, though Ganke was sad that he couldn’t have more chocolate.
And she wasn’t the only one acting weird, Peter has invited Miles to at least fifteen family dinners since everything and while MJ was an amazing cook and even more amazing woman, he was pretty sure that she was tired of seeing his face. He attempted to apologize to her about it but she just smiled and waved him off, saying that he was welcome because this was his home too. And that only seemed to encourage Peter more and more to include him in their family events. It was nice but Miles couldn’t shake the feeling that he was intruding.
Well, at least he can say that he was close to Mayday and finally could hold a baby properly now. He liked having his partner in crime around and his parents had come to accept the fact that Miles had the little girl attached to his hip. And she may be his phone background–-god he had turned into Peter.
He didn’t know what to make of Hobie and Pavitr’s behavior because of how recent they came into his life. For the short time that he knew them, they seemed to have made it their mission to include Miles in everything. Hobie had joined him in graffiti art and the older teen was clearly talented but just the idea of having someone share the interest made him feel good. Being the older brother that Miles never had, Hobie made sure that he was genuinely okay and not being on a front for everyone. Gave him advice (some law abiding, most of it not) that he took to heart and overall, just making sure that Miles was alright.
Pavitr and him had more in common than he thought, they shared a love for movies, music and trash talking. Also a love for roughhousing and their play fighting can get a bit rough—listen, they didn’t see that wall there, it was in their way—but at the same time, Pav loved to cuddle. They could lay together around for hours and having a solid weight against him made him feel grounded and safe. The actual number of times Pav has bumped their cheeks or any close body part together to touch Miles have since been forgotten as Miles melted and everything became so foggy when Pav held him.
Hell even Jess had been nicer to him, sure they weren’t close but it was nice that she was trying at least. Honestly, he probably would go to her for certain things because she was much calmer and more rational than Peter—and Miguel was absolutely out of the question—she was just a better option for things like that. She even started ruffling his hair and is the only one who gets to call him “kid”, something that Peter is absolutely miffed about.
Life was good. Miles was feeling like his rough start with everyone was slowly being softened and while those feelings of betrayal and anger at being lied to and left out were bubbling under the surface—that warmth in his chest and joy at belonging were louder and more aggressive. Sure, maybe he and Miguel were still on weird terms, he was healing all the same. Who knows, maybe he’ll even get an apology one day, though knowing Miguel, he’d have to wait an eternity for that one.
____________
After thinking long and hard, Miles decided to join the Spider Society again. He didn’t miss the way that all of his friends lit up when he told them or how they immediately listed off all the ways that they were going to kick anomalies ass since they were all together again. He didn’t have to wait long for an opportunity because he was called back to HQ for a mission briefing within the week.
While Miles was confident in his skills as Spider-man, being back in the society was nerve wracking and some old fears came rising to the surface. Especially in the presence of Miguel O’ Hara again in all these months. What if he messed up? What if he did something wrong? All those ‘what-ifs’ swirled around his head, consuming every thought, spiking his heart rate and making him lose faith in himself. He wanted to be good enough to make this work. He had to be good enough.
Gwen knew something was wrong by the way she leaned into him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. Right, he wasn’t alone anymore, he didn’t have to do it alone anymore, he had people that cared about him and wouldn’t let anything bad happen. Closing his eyes, slowing his heart rate until it no longer rang in his ear, letting the pressure of Gwen’s hand ground him. He was going to be okay, he will be okay.
Opening his eyes again, he turned to her and smiled in thanks, letting her nuzzle his neck for a moment until she pulled away. Miles turned his focus back to Miguel, fully aware that the man was staring into his soul with those observant red eyes but he didn’t back down, he had something to prove.
The mission had gone off without a hitch, not a mistake in sight and Miles was the one who gave the final blow to the anomaly before taking it down. Maybe he was pushing himself more than he should but hey, he was not slouch and getting out pent up rage against some ugly ass Electro was just the therapy he needed.
Jess and Peter were extremely proud of them and praised them for their teamwork and quick capture. Miles was unsure on how Miguel felt because all he did was stand there on his platform and let the other two adults talk but he grunted and hummed whenever they said something he agreed with. Honestly he likes it better than the man opening his mouth because usually when Miguel had to speak, strict words and yelling followed, so Miles would gladly take this. He hoped that didn’t sound too mean.
Eventually, the two were all out of praise and told the teens that they did good work out on the field and should be extremely impressed with themselves. As the kids were getting ready to leave, Miguel finally spoke.
“Morales, I need you to stay behind for a minute.”
That was what he gets for making the mean comments wasn’t it? Now that wasn’t fair, he made it in his head, that’s the rule isn’t it?
Eventually, the other spiders left the room and there was only Miguel and Miles left. Good god, it was the awkwardest thing in the world because Miguel went silent again and Miles had the sudden urge to bolt like he did months ago. Also Miguel was just staring at him and it was making him uncomfortable.
To end both of their suffering, Miles asked, “Is there anything you need from me sir?”
Again, the older man didn’t say a word and Miles wanted to scream, “Uh, is this about the mission? Did I do something wrong—”
“You did good out there Morales.” Miguel said, nonchalant and monotone as ever. “Very nice technique and form.”
Wow, he didn’t know the man had it in him to even praise him. He was so sure that he was going to get screamed at or have another monitor thrown at his head but no, Miguel O’Hara wanted to compliment him.
Miles felt his shoulders relax—he didn’t even know he was on edge—and gave a small smile. “Huh thank you sir, that means a lot coming from you.” It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t expect that at all.
Miguel hummed and turned away, his broad back combined with the elevated height making it hard for Miles to see what he was doing and before he could open his mouth to ask what it was, Miguel turned back around and leaped down to the ground level.
Swallowing the squawk that nearly escaped, Miles looked up at the tall man and watched as those red eyes held nothing he could pick at. Ignoring his quickening heart rate, Miles kept the unsure smile and tried to keep his feet planted in one spot as Miguel grabbed his hand. Memories of fangs, claws and harsh words screening his mind until Miguel spoke again.
“Here.” Miguel said simply and looking down, Miles saw what was given to him. It was a gizmo but it was so different from what he usually saw from the other spiders. It was black and red to match his suit and it would absolutely blend into his wrist when he put its on and holy fuck, Miles was holding his own watch!
While Miles was gaping like a fish, Miguel was talking, “You have unlimited access to any dimension and Lyla at any time. We had to take into account your electrical powers and how…unique they can be and how we don’t know the full extent of said powers.” The annoyance in his voice was very hard to miss. “But just know that it won’t short-circuit on you if you decide to do your venom blast again.”
Miles was still reeling from the gift and hadn’t said much and that seemed to have put Miguel on edge because the man asked, “Do you not like it or something?”
Snapping out of it, Miles gave him a bright smile, holding the watch to his chest. “No no, I…I love it, thank you so much, really this means a lot.”
Red eyes widened in shock before schooling into a neutral expression, “You’re welcome, Morales.”
Quickly donning on the watch and doing away with the day pass, Miles continued to admire the gift as he asked, “Is there anything else you need from me, sir?”
“No, you are dismissed.” Practically running over to the door, ready to gloat to everyone about his new watch and all its new features, almost missing Miguel’s following comment as he was leaving.
“Welcome to the team, Morales.” Whirling around, Miles gave him a mock salute, goofy smile on display as he bolted out of the lab, this time in complete excitement and leaving Miguel alone to do whatever he does in his free time.
And because Miles was so focused on his way out, he didn’t see the way Miguel watched him go or how said man went back to looking at any signs of anomalies. Or how eventually, Miguel watched the monitors that tracked every spider person’s movements in and outside HQ until he found Miles with his friends, hearing everything, watching him babble on and on about the gift. Or how Miguel told Lyla to monitor Earth 1610 and see what Miles was interested in, eyes never leaving the screens—completely focused on how bright and wide Miles' smile was.
____________
If Miles was annoying over his watch and showing it off to everyone that would listen, he really didn't give a damn because he got his own watch, bitches! He’s been walking on air since then and no one could ruin this moment for him. Not even when Miguel called him in for a mission for the first time in three weeks, he happily skipped over to Spider Society and had the biggest grin on display that everyone was worried his face would be stuck like that. Having this watch was meant something to him, means that he was actually apart of the team now and he was cherishing every moment of it
Mission briefing and the mission itself went without a hitch, he was two for two! Again Jess and Peter were proud of them, Miguel just nodded and grunted along, hands behind his back, not saying much but this time—Miles was very aware that the older man was staring at him. At first he thought that Miguel was just glowering in his general direction but nope, he was staring directly at him and as if he was waiting for something to happen. Once again, the mission was over and once again, as Miles turned to leave with his friends, Miguel called to him,
“Morales, I need to speak to you again.”
Seemingly no one was bothered by Miguel’s order and walked out, leaving Miles with him. Unsure about what the man wanted but didn’t want to assume the worst, he tried to relax and be casual.
“Uh, what’s up boss?”
Miguel grunted out, “How is the watch, have you had any problems?”
Miles immediately brightened at that, he just wanted to know how the watch was working, he could deal with that. “Oh, it’s so awesome! I get to talk with everyone and dimension hopping is really easy and you were right, my powers aren’t glitching it out at all!”
That seemed to please the older man because Miguel hummed, “Good then, let me know if you run into any problems, it is still in early stages, so something can go bad.”
He nodded eagerly, “Noted, is there anything else—”
Miguel then took his hands from behind his back and pushed a box towards Miles, making him blink as he grabbed for it and held it close to his chest. The kid looked at the man in confusion but all Miguel did was look at him and Miles just opened it, only to gasp as he pulled out a new pair of headphones.
“I saw—heard from Gwen that you broke your first pair and she was thinking about getting you a new pair but I decided to handle it.” Miguel explained but Miles was not hearing it because he was so giddy.
His last pair (may they rest in peace) got destroyed during a run in with asshat during patrol and he was the most heartbroken he had been in a while. Miles literally called Gwen in genuine tears about the headphones and she had to come over to comfort him, it was one of the sets that Uncle Aaron gave him before he passed and he just couldn’t bear to lose anything part of his uncle because of some stupid villain of the week.
Miles looked up at the older man and beamed, very aware that he may have had tears in his eyes. “Thank you, thank you! This means everything to me–I mean, I love the watch but this…” He knew his smile was getting wider and he hoped to god he didn’t look crazy to Miguel.
“I really appreciate this.” Miles said sincerely.
Miguel’s stare softened and he dropped his shoulders, “You are welcome Morales—you’re free to go.” Giving one last smile, Miles ran out of the lab and waved goodbye to his elder, calling out to his friends as the door closed.
Lyla popped next to Miguel, smirking at him. “You know you nearly told him that you’ve been stalking for the past month.”
“I am not stalking him, I’m monitoring him in his and his universe.”
“Sure boss and you absolutely did not have a fit when you saw the kid cry over the headphones. It's a mystery how that villain in Miles’ universe somehow ended up severely beaten despite being in his cell all day. ”
“I will unplug you.”
“Love you too Miguel!”
____________
Okay so, Miles had a problem now, it wasn’t like a Spot problem or anything but definitely what the fuck is happening right now kind of problem. He had thought that Miguel gifting him the watch and headphones were the end of it all because hey, those were some pretty nice gifts, he can’t possibly have anything more for Miles
Oh he was wrong, so very very wrong .
For the past few weeks, every time Miles finished a mission, Miguel had a gift for him, and he was not exaggerating. The moment he stepped back into HQ, the older man was ready with some gadget, some trinket and dear god —art supplies at one point were given to him with no comment. He couldn’t even say no because Miguel refused to take anything back and suspiciously, any time Miles wanted to talk to him about giving the gifts back, he was ocupado and out at the time.
The nerve of that man!
And everyone was keeping their mouth’s shut about it too because he politely asked (interrogated) Peter about the Miguel gifting problem and his mentor played it off like nothing was wrong.
“It's okay kiddo, I’m sure it’s a phase—It’ll stop eventually.” He said, two weeks ago and refused to comment on anything now, Peter B Parker should count his days when this is all over.
Even his friends were telling him to let it go and that they were sure Miguel would have to eventually have to stop but they didn't understand, Miles was running out of space in both his Vision Academy dorm and his own bedroom. Also, his parents were getting suspicious about where he was getting these gifts and his lies were getting worse by the day, last time he said that someone was giving away these things at a yard sale. They don't have yard sales in New York!
But it's all cool because he was going to end this, now.
Nobody was on his side by the varied responses of ‘no’ he got when he declared that he was going to talk to Miguel. They all tried to talk him down but Miles Morales was not having any of it because they were acting as if he was going in there guns blazing and in a fiery glory, he was raised better than that.
Him and Miguel were going to have a mature discussion, that was all he wanted.
So he was going over to the man’s lab and they were going to talk, that was it. And currently, everyone was telling how bad of an idea that was. He should know because they decided to follow him to try and dissuade him all through their walk to Miguel’s lair.
“Miles, I really think this is a bad idea.” Gwen said.
“Thank you for your input Gwen, I'm gonna ignore it!” Miles replied back, staring straight ahead and keeping his stride.
“Listen kid, I’m sure Miguel is really busy right now!” Peter tried, a gurgling Mayday strapped to his chest.
“Let’s see then!” Miles then pressed a button on his gizmo and Lyla appeared, “Yo Ly, is Miguel busy right now?”
“Not all Miles, you want to see him right now?”
“Yeah, can you tell him that we need to talk about something really important.”
“Sure, I’ll send in the word.”
Miles smiled, “Thanks Lyla!”
He then shot a glare at Peter, who did have the decency to look very chastised right now while Jess rolled her eyes and spoke.
“Listen Miles, I’m sure there is a better way than storming the place.”
“Tía Jess, I’m not storming anywhere! I just want to talk to Miguel, that’s it.” Miles groaned, passing by a group of spiders without even breaking eye contact with her. “You guys are making it seem that I’m gonna barge in and start screaming at him.”
Hobie jogged next to him, hands in his pocket and a mischievous grin on his face, “I don’t know mate, it will be a bloody good time if you did.”
Gwen glared at the older teen, “Not helping Hobie!”
“And who said I was here to help?”
That sparked a disagreement between them all and Miles used the distraction to quicken his pace before they would notice his silence escape. He then felt a tug on his hand and turned to see Pavitr next to him.
Miles huffed, “Are you here to stop me too?”
Pav shook his head, “Oh no I’m not! I think it’s really good for you and Mister Miguel to talk!”
Miles smiled at the other, “Thank you! I know I could always count on you Pav–”
“I mean anyone can see the tension between the two of you, you guys need to work it out, so your family arc can begin!”
“And I’ve lost you, goodbye Pav!”
He gently removed his friend’s hand and started booking it down the hallway, yelling apologies left and right to the colored frenzy of spider people that he weaved through as he could hear the chorus of his name getting closer and louder as he saw Miguel’s laboratory in view. It got even better when he saw a very familiar figure opening the door and he started waving frantically as Miguel became closer to him.
“Miguel, Miguel for the love of God, keep the door open!” He yelled, pointing his web shooters at the door hinge and releasing a web to swing himself right in front of the man, whipping around to see all of his friends running towards him and in the most panicked moment of Miles’ life, looks up at older man and does something he never thought he could do in the presence of Miguel O’Hara.
“Help me, Miguel, you need to hide me!” He begs. “Please hide me!”
There is a sudden shift in the man’s eyes from confusion to shock and then something Miles has never seen as Miguel wrapped an arm around his midsection and pulled him inside the laboratory, letting the door slide behind him and keeping everyone else out. Through the glass, he could see his friends just stop at the door and seem to freeze in place, as if something was preventing them entering. He watched as they backed away and eventually just walked away all together, making Miles sigh in relief.
The arm around his midsection tightened for a moment and he could very much hear a low growl coming from Miguel as he stared directly at the door, almost waiting for someone to dare come in. Miles tried to twist in Miguel’s arm but Miguel wouldn’t budge and then used his whole body to cover Miles. Like he was hiding him. Letting the groan die in his throat because he now was in a slightly bigger predicament, as now Miguel thought that there was a threat and apparently didn’t want Miles near or seen by said threat.
Just his luck.
For a while they stayed like that until Miguel seemed sure that no one was going to come through, he stood with Miles still in his grip and looked down at him, red eyes scanning for something.
“Are you hurt?”
Miles shook his head.
Miguel narrowed his eyes, “Be honest with me Morales, did they try to hurt you?”
Miles shook his head even harder, “No no, nothing like that. They were just trying to stop me from talking to you.”
“Why? Do I need to talk to them myself?” Miguel growled out and Miles had a feeling that talk was going to end badly if he didn’t intervene now.
“I needed to talk to you about the gifts! They were trying to stop me from saying anything to you because they thought you would be mad about it!” Miles blurted out quickly.
Silence fell over them and the grip on Mile’s waist finally loosened enough for him to wiggle his way out and land on his feet. Miguel didn’t say anything and Miles didn’t know what to say because he didn't think he would get this far.
“What about the gifts?” Miguel asked, his voice slow and curious.
As Miles said before, he didn’t think he would get this far and if he was honest, the whole Miguel cradling him like a baby a few seconds ago kind of made his brain draw a blank. You see Miles was going to come down here and tell Miguel that he knew the gifts were his apology to Miles for how he treated him. That he figured it out weeks ago and for some reason everyone was trying to hide that and act like Miguel wasn’t acting strange in the first place. That Miguel didn’t have to do all of that and that he had to stop because he was going to be accused of being a hoarder soon if this kept up. That Miguel could just apologize to him like an adult and they could move past this and Miles could have his room back. That was the plan.
But then…then something just happened. Miguel dropped his shoulders and this almost…sad look appeared, “You don’t like them, do you?”
No, you have to be fucking kidding, that was not working. Miles Morales was not going to be done in by a grown man being pouty, he was the teenager here! If anyone got to be pouty about anything, it was him. Yup, he was the one who could barely move an inch in his room without stumping his toe on something Miguel gave him and well yes, he was very appreciative of it, he didn’t need to worry about his toes getting hurt. No, Miles was going to tell him the truth and whatever followed after was between them.
So he looked Miguel right in (those very distraught) eyes and opened his mouth.
Miguel, I don’t need anymore gifts, stop giving me things.
“No, I love them!” Miles said. “I love every last one of them, what makes you think that?”
You are weak, Morales. So very weak.
“I just had an idea that they could be…smaller. You know? I’m kind of running out of space at home and I don’t want to ruin any of them.” Miles sputtered out, feeling his subconscious screaming at him. “You get me?”
Miguel perked up at that and it was so noticeable that Miles was going to think about the minute he leaves fucking HQ, “So you don’t have a problem with the gifts then?”
YES! “No!” Miles said.
“Is that what you wanted to talk about?”
No, I wanted to talk about how insane you are being! He nodded his head, “Yeah that’s it, sorry I made so much trouble.” Oh he had the audacity to be shameful of that, Miles what is wrong with you?
Miguel waved him off, “It’s fine Morales, it’s good to know what you like and dislike. I’ll keep that in mind.”
If we scream hard enough, do you think we could break the sound barrier? Miles smiled and gave a thumbs up. “I look forward to it, sir!” Really, sir?
While completely unaware of the legit crisis going on in Miles’ head, Miguel huffed, “You don’t have to call me sir, Morales, I don’t know why you’re still calling me that.”
“Well I just thought since you still call me Morales, so I thought we weren’t on good terms sir–Miguel.”
Miguel didn’t say anything for a minute and that let Miles have a very rational screaming match in his head that he ended up getting so wrapped up in, he didn’t notice the older man staring at him in a way that said he was rethinking things and he was looking at Miles as if he deciding on something very important.
“Is there anything else…Miles?” Miguel asked in an unusual soft voice.
The teen blinked at that tone and the his use of first name but nodded his head all the same, which made Miguel raise an eyebrow at him.
Come on, Miles, just say it. Miles took a deep breath and just spoke, “I…I know why you are doing this Miguel.”
He watches those shoulders tense and the next sentence just spills out, “And I’m not mad at it! Really I’m not, it's just…let me start over. Miguel I genuinely appreciate all of those gifts but I know that you are doing this because you feel guilty and you want me to forgive you. And I get why you feel guilty, we really didn’t have the best start and sometimes, sometimes I think about what happened too. I think about how much you hurt me and how hard I had to think about coming back to Spider Society after everything.”
“But I don’t regret coming back and clearly you feel bad about it, and like I said, these gifts have made me realize what this is all about.” Miles explained, subconsciously touching his watch. “You want my forgiveness and have gone through some very expensive means for it and I appreciate it.”
“The thing is that all these gifts aren’t going to fix this and they aren’t really what I want from you.” He stopped for a moment, thinking that he may not be able to say those words but he wanted him and Miguel to get somewhere.
“I just want an apology from you, it doesn't have to be a big affair or a grand gesture, I just want to hear from you that you’re sorry. That’s the only gift I want from you. And I don’t want it today or tomorrow, I want it when you think you are ready to say it. Because I want you to mean every single word and not because you think it's’ what I want to hear.” He finished, looking at the ground and refusing to meet Miguel’s eyes.
The lab was quiet and all Miles could hear was his own heart beat, he didn’t want to see Miguel’s face and he absolutely did not want to face any kind of repercussions from the man because he talked out of turn. Maybe the man will stop playing nice and hate him again. It's silly but his brain can’t shake the feeling that all will end and he and Miguel will never be in a place where they can enjoy each other’s company. Maybe they’ll go back to the tense and hateful relationship, where everything Miles said and did was under a microscope. All because Miles couldn’t keep his mouth and let this go.
This was a mistake. Was a bitter thought. Everyone was right.
Miles sighed, “Look man, I’m sorry I wasted your time, I’ll just leave.” He walked past the man, not letting him say a word as he moved towards the door and let it slide open, about to cross that threshold but stopped.
He looked back once more time and said to Miguel’s back, “If it makes you feel any better…I really do love the headphones you gave me. I use them every day.” Miles turned back around and walked out, ignoring the tight feeling inside his chest as those doors closed behind him. Everything said and unsaid all the same.
It’s for the best. Miles thought. It’s all for the best.
____________
For the good of everyone, Miles didn’t visit HQ for a while, it hurt like hell to be away from everyone but he couldn’t hunker down the fear that the minute he stepped back into Spider Society, everything was going to revert back when he first found out about the society’s existence. This fear kept him in place as he ignored calls and texts from everyone, just wanting everyone to stop and leave him alone. He’d ruined a good thing and it was cowardly not to face those consequences but what can he say? Taking a leap of faith was scary and Miles was petrified of the fall.
Guilt eventually won over when he saw that Miguel was the one requesting his presence for a mission, especially since the gifts had stopped coming ever since Miles talked to him. It's strange, the older man’s reaction was the one he feared most, because he already saw the anger that he possessed—so he suited up and walked right into HQ like nothing happened. Miles Morales liked putting on shows, why was this any different.
The mission came and went, anomaly snagged and taken back to its dimension, and Miles stood in front of Miguel like he did all those weeks ago. He blatantly ignored the way everyone’s eyes were on him, not letting them know that he knew and just stood there rigid with his mask still on as the adults drawled on for what seemed like an eternity. Miguel was on the ground level with Jess and Peter, his stare digging into Miles’ soul as he stared at the ground. Once they had no more words to say, they all turned to Miguel as if they all knew something that Miles didn’t. It was already starting.
Soon, everyone walked out but Miguel and Miles didn’t even move from his spot, knowing where this was going. He was going to get yelled at, for worrying everyone, for not being a part of the team and letting everyone think the worst, maybe he’ll get kicked off the team, he wouldn’t blame Miguel for that. He’ll just have to wait and see.
Familiar silence fell over and Miles was strangely unfazed by it, he should be shaking but here he is, waiting for this verbal lashing he deserved with this odd calmness that nobody should have when faced with their worst nightmare. Miles had been rejected before, this wouldn’t be any different.
“Miles, I’m sorry.”
Time stopped the minute those words left Miguel’s lips.
Blinking, Miles finally met Miguel’s eyes, a somber look in crimson eyes. Did he hear him correctly?
“What–”
Miguel put a hand up, “Let me finish.”
After Miles shut his mouth, Miguel sighed and put his hand down, continuing. “You were right, I was using those gifts as a way to apologize to you. I thought it was easier than having a conversation about what happened. You didn’t seem to trust me and I didn’t want to put you in a situation where you were uncomfortable. And don’t try to lie, I see the way you flinched when I first gave you the watch.” He said firmly, noticing how Miles was ready to argue that.
“Because you were still scared of me, I thought the gifts could soften your reactions. Get you used to the idea of me being someone else, not the person who hurt you and I thought that we could move on like that.” Miguel said, running a hand over his face and to Miles, he looked so much older.
“It was the coward’s way out because I wasn’t strong enough to admit that…it is hard to apologize to you. Not because of anything that you did but it had everything to do with how I treated you when we first met. Back then I was angry and hurt about my daugh—someone I lost and I was so desperate to find a reason for why it happened, that I latched onto the first thing that made sense to me. I found some comfort in it and made this whole theory around and I was so sure that I could prevent it all from happening to anyone else, if no one ever questioned it.” That part was quiet and Miguel looked guilty as he felt.
“You were this…new person that put that theory into question and I asked something of you that no one, especially a kid, should have to do. And I attacked you for it, in this blind idea that I could prevent your world from collapsing if I could get you to listen but why would anyone listen to some pendejo that couldn’t even save his own daughter.”
“I hurt you in the worst way possible and in my warped sense of justice, I thought I was saving you and the multiverse. I called you things that haunt me every time I see your face because I can’t stop seeing that look you gave me. But at this moment, I’m going to do right by you and say what I should have said all these months ago.” Miguel was walking with each sentence until he was in front of Miles, putting both hands on his shoulders and looking him square in the eye.
“You are not a mistake, Miles Morales. Maybe, maybe you weren’t supposed to be bitten but you have shown everyone that you are Spider-Man, you have made the mantle proud and I know that your Peter Parker would be so proud of you. Yes, he died tragically but he died doing what he loved, saving people and him saving you was the best thing that could have ever happened. He would have traded his life for yours in any universe. Every day you show me and everyone how incredible you are and that no matter what, you are the Spider-Man that your world needs.”
“Your existence makes a difference in everyone’s life, especially mine and when you didn’t come back for those weeks, I was scared that I had pushed you away all over again but I’m not letting you go, not now and ever. Do you hear me?” Miles didn’t even flinch at the tightened grip on his shoulders, noticing no claws digging into his skin like last time, just the firm grip of someone who wants him to stay.
“You belong here Miles and you always did and I am so sorry that I made you feel like you didn’t. I don’t need you to forgive me, you can hate me for as long as you want but just know that this is where you belong and no one wants you to think otherwise.” Miguel finished with an absolution that made Miles break, and oh did he break.
With a trembling hand, Miles ripped off his mask, face streaked with tears. As Miguel opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, Miles launched himself at the man and wrapped tight around Miguel’s body. Miles just cried and cried into his chest, so caught up in his sobbing that he wasn’t aware of strong arms circling him and acting like a barrier from the outside world. Nor how Miguel started crooning in his ear and telling him that it's going to be okay, that they were going to be okay, he could let go.
Deja que todo se vaya.
Miles didn’t know when but he eventually lifted himself from Miguel’s chest to find that both of them were sitting on the floor, the older spider cocooning him, a clawless hand running through his hair and looking down at him with such tenderness that it made Miles melt. They should get up and face the others but truthfully, Miles didn’t want to leave this, a hungry part of him wanted to indulge in this for a little bit longer. The idea of Miguel for the longest time in his mind went from a violent man to a neutral authoritative person to now this…he didn’t know what to call it, the words dying on his tongue.
He didn’t know who Miguel O’Hara was and for once, that wasn’t a horrifying feeling.
“Miles, niño, are you okay?” Miguel quietly asked, making the boy gaze up at him, somber red eyes staring back at him.
Usually there’s a sinking feeling in his chest when Miguel acknowledges him, a fearful voice that screamed he was in danger, that he was going to get hurt all over again, that nothing good came from a man like Miguel. But looking at him now, being held in such a warm embrace and looking at him like that, Miles didn’t see the old Miguel. He was this new person, something shaped from a former monster to something more gentle. And to think, Miguel having the ability to be gentle, would have been laughable months ago.
He gave a small smile and leaned forward right back into Miguel’s chest. “I’m alright.” Closing his eyes, the sound of a healthy heartbeat lulled him into relaxation, sighing as he curled into the comforting heat of someone else and let himself indulge.
“I’m just enjoying the gift you gave me, tío.”