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Edmund definitely never thought his life would turn out like this. Sometimes the thought just hits him when he’s doing something mundane with Caspian, that this is his life – their life – and they’re still together.
It’s been five and a half years, and some of it has been difficult, to say the least, but they’d made it through Edmund’s semester abroad and Caspian’s graduate program and Edmund’s entire stretch of law school, and…
And they’ve not only gotten through it all, but Edmund’s pretty sure that he loves Caspian more now than ever – and that Caspian feels the same way.
It’s kind of weird, actually, how quickly they became a package deal. Caspian and Dr. Cornelius come over for Thanksgiving dinner, and Edmund’s parents give Caspian a gift every year for Christmas and his birthday.
Edmund expected things to be kind of short lived. If he’s honest, he didn’t really expect them to get through that first year, not living together full-time. But it was actually really nice. After a few months, they’d pushed their beds together into what they’d dubbed the frankenbed, and even when they didn’t have sex, they’d cuddle together.
He definitely prefers their current bed, though.
That’s where it all starts.
It’s two days after Edmund gets his Bar Exam results. He passed, and after all of the celebration, he’s happy to just chill the fuck out. He has a job lined up to start next month, but he has a couple weeks to relax.
It’s the first time he’s really had a chance to breathe since… well, he’s not even really sure, because he was always loaded up on extracurriculars and summer internships in undergrad and even in high school, and then after 3L, there was the mad rush to study for the Bar.
It’s a weird feeling.
But he’s taking full advantage of it. He spent all day yesterday in bed with Caspian, like they’re teenagers again (technically, Caspian was twenty when they got together, but same difference).
This morning has been more of the same. Edmund can tell Caspian is having as good a time as he is; he called out of work just for this.
“So,” Caspian starts as Edmund kisses his chest.
“Yeah?”
“I want to take you out to dinner on Saturday.”
“You really don’t need to ask me on a date,” Edmund teases. “You’re my boyfriend.”
Caspian doesn’t laugh. For a moment, Edmund panics and wonders if Caspian is trying to tell him something – but that’s stupid. Caspian isn’t cruel; he wouldn’t spend a day and a half in bed with Edmund if he were planning on dumping him.
Which makes Edmund wonder what, exactly, is going on.
“Of course I’ll go out to dinner with you, Cas,” Edmund says instead, moving up to kiss Caspian on the lips.
Caspian exhales. “Okay. Because I already have the reservation.”
Reservation? So this is a dinner.
“Okay,” Edmund agrees.
“I just – I didn’t want to spring it on you,” Caspian says.
“You’re not.” Edmund kisses him again. “We haven’t actually gone out to dinner since your birthday, have we?”
“Not out to dinner,” Caspian agrees. Casual meals at low-key restaurants aren’t really the same thing as going out to dinner, after all.
“Then it’s a date.”
Caspian grins; even now, the sight of Caspian’s grin makes Edmund feel a little giddy. He’s really lucky enough to be with this man, and he knows it. He also knows that Caspian wants this just as much as Edmund does.
(Maybe even a little more, if Edmund’s honest – he’s at least wanted it longer. Though most of the time, Edmund thinks they’re pretty even at this point.)
“I love you,” Caspian says, running his fingers through Edmund’s hair. “And I’m so proud of you.”
Edmund kisses him.
On Wednesday night, the family group chat goes a bit off the rails.
Caspian frowns, looking at his phone. (That’s another thing! Caspian is in the family group chat – at least the one with Eustace and Jill; Edmund does have one for just his siblings, but Caspian understands that.)
“What’s up?”
“Have you looked at the group chat lately?”
Edmund shakes his head.
“You should.” He hands his phone over to Edmund. Edmund glances at it.
He scrolls back a bit to get context for Susan calling someone (probably Lucy or Jill) too young for something.
He almost scrolls past it.
“Shit,” he says when he finally notices it.
“Yeah,” Caspian says.
It’s a picture of Eustace and Jill in what is undoubtedly a real wedding.
The caption, from Jill, says, “When in Vegas!”
Then: “P.S. of course I didn’t take his name.”
“To be fair, Jill Scrubb would be an awful name,” Caspian says.
Edmund snorts. “So would Eustace Pole.”
Caspian seems a little tense, though. Edmund knows better than to ask him why directly. He might answer honestly, but if he’s not coming out and saying it already, there’s every chance that Caspian isn’t going to come out and say it.
Edmund sends a text off to the group chat congratulating them, signing it with his name, which always exasperates Eustace, who doesn’t see why being committed to someone like this means they sometimes share phones.
That’s fine; his and Caspian’s relationship doesn’t need to look anything like Eustace and Jill’s for him to be happy for them.
He passes Caspian his phone back and then grabs his own phone to send off a private text to the two of them telling them to ignore Susan.
He loves Susan, of course, and she means well, but she doesn’t always understand that her own dedication to her career isn’t necessarily something that everyone else wants. He’s happy that she’s happy – but he’s also happy that Eustace and Jill are happy.
“You don’t think they’re too young?” Caspian asks.
“I mean, I wouldn’t have eloped with you like that at their age, but I had that internship, anyway. Wasn’t like we could really do anything with it. They’ve got a little while to get things figured out.”
“I don’t think I would’ve taken you to Vegas, anyway.”
“No,” Edmund agrees. “Besides, you and I both know if my siblings aren’t there, there’ll be hell to pay.”
Edmund is acutely aware that he’s crossing a line. They’ve never really discussed marriage before, not like this. There were some jokes early on about benefits, but those were jokes.
They’re both adults now. Real ones. Caspian works as a political consultant and Edmund just passed the Bar and has a job lined up. It’s not like they’re still college students with nothing but a plan for their future.
Besides, how many people does he know who are married? Peter is even married!
(He likes Peter’s wife, too!)
“Ed,” Caspian says slowly.
“I love you,” Edmund says. “I say it a lot, but I really do mean it. I’m happy with you.”
“Is this something you’ve actually thought about?”
“Not in painstaking detail, but yes.”
Caspian furrows his brows in thought. “You… do you actually want to? I’m – this isn’t a proposal, or anything! I’m just – I want to make sure we’re on the same page!”
Edmund reaches over to stroke his hair. Caspian’s hair is so soft; it just glides through his fingers.
“I do,” he says. “At least if you do. It’s not something I feel like I really need to be happy, but I’m open to it.”
“Oh,” Caspian says.
“I’m happy with how things are now,” he adds. “I don’t want you to think I want us to change anything.”
“But you’re open to it?”
“I am,” Edmund agrees.
Caspian nods. “Okay. Uh, so am I. Really open to it.”
“Okay,” Edmund says. “But not Vegas.”
Caspian laughs. “Definitely not Vegas. God, Susan would kill us.”
“Jill would kill us first for stealing her idea,” Edmund says, and he’s not really joking. Eustace probably wouldn’t care, but Jill would.
“She scares me more than Susan,” Caspian admits.
“You should tell her that. I bet she’d be over the moon.”
“Probably,” Caspian agrees.
Edmund leans in to kiss his cheek. “Honestly, Cas, as long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.”
“I feel the same way.” Caspian pulls him in for another kiss, and yeah, Edmund definitely feels more relaxed now.
He’s too ambitious for this relaxation to last forever, but it’s a nice reprieve.
He and Caspian get ready for dinner together; it’s nice and domestic and everything Edmund always hoped he’d have when he was younger.
If he could see his fifteen-year-old self now…
Well, his fifteen-year-old self would probably punch him for not just sleeping with Caspian, but dating him and living with him.
But fuck his fifteen-year-old self. He was an annoying know-it-all, anyway. (Edmund likes to think that he isn’t so much of one anymore, and most of the time, Caspian indulges him).
The point is that Edmund is happy.
He’s happy and in love and he’s pretty sure he wants to spend the rest of his life with this man. It’s a little bit ridiculous to think about, sometimes, that Caspian was his first kiss (and he was Caspian’s!), and now they live together and help each other get ready for fancy dinner dates (okay, most nights they cook or do takeout, but still).
Caspian pulls him in for a kiss. “You look sexy.”
“If I knew formalwear was what does it for you…”
“You were wearing a suit the first time I kissed you.”
“I’m pretty sure I kissed you that time.” He kisses Caspian now, just because he can, and it’s all warmth and comfort.
“I kissed you back,” Caspian says when Edmund pulls away. He runs his hands down the front of Edmund’s suit. “I can’t wait to tear this off of you tonight.”
“Didn’t you set the reservation?”
“I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to tear this suit off of you the second we get home.”
“I thought you liked me in the suit…” Edmund teases.
“In it, out of it, in jeans, sweatpants… anything, really.”
In spite of himself, Edmund feels himself start to blush a little. Maybe it’s a little ridiculous – just how long have they been together? – but Caspian still knows exactly how to get to him.
They take a Lyft to the restaurant. It’s not one Edmund has ever been to before, and D.C. has no dearth of fancy, expensive restaurants. It’s only once he’s inside that he realizes.
Oh.
This is the kind of place people go for big events.
It’s not their anniversary for another couple months. It’s not either of their birthdays.
Maybe it’s just because he passed the Bar?
But looking at Caspian out of the corner of his eye, Edmund kind of doubts it.
At least, he doesn’t think that’s all of why they’re there, even if that’s what Caspian tells everyone who asks.
Edmund lets himself be the center of attention, though. He likes it, even if he suspects Caspian might have ulterior motives for this dinner.
But god, Caspian looks so fucking gorgeous tonight. His eyes are bright in the candlelight, and his golden hair is just slightly ruffled, but in a way that looks fashionable and cool. He’s not wearing a work suit, either; no, this is something he only breaks out for galas and – well, fancy dinners with Edmund, apparently.
Edmund is so lucky to be with him.
How had he ever hated him? For so long, at that.
Teenage Edmund was an idiot.
Caspian reaches a hand across the table for him. Edmund takes it and squeezes it.
“I really am so proud of you,” Caspian says. “You passed the Bar on the first try. That’s something to brag about.”
“When I have a gorgeous boyfriend who’s happy to brag about it for me?”
Caspian laughs. “Well, that’s true.”
Yeah, okay. Maybe Edmund really could marry him. In front of everyone. The idea of introducing Caspian as his husband makes his heart race.
But he really is happy with how things are now. He meant that.
It’s just that he’s open to something new, too.
Surely Caspian understands that.
Caspian doesn’t get down on one knee at any point during dinner. He takes the check and pays for it without a second glance (when neither of them can really afford to do that, but Edmund guesses he’s using a credit card, or something).
Edmund tries not to think about why he’s disappointed when dinner is over without a proposal.
It’s not like he was counting on it.
Caspian orders them another Lyft. Edmund’s only a little confused when it stops a few blocks from their apartment. Caspian takes him by the hand and leads him along the waterfront.
One thing Edmund is absolutely certain of: this is happening.
It’s just a matter of Caspian working up the nerve.
But Caspian is generally really good at working up the nerve to do things, so Edmund isn’t too concerned about that.
“Don’t you still think it’s kind of weird that we both ended up here?” Caspian asks. “Both of us from New York, and then…”
“Both here,” Edmund says. “It’s even weirder that we were randomly assigned roommates.”
“God, I tried so hard to get out of that,” Caspian says. “With how much you hated me, it was torture… I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”
Edmund squeezes his hand. “I really am sorry that I hated you so much.”
Caspian shrugs. “I kissed you and then disappeared, and when I saw you again, I ran away. I’d have been pissed, too.”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
Caspian smiles at him; they’ve gotten to the point where they’re both comfortable addressing this particularly thorny issue from their past.
“I’m glad we were roommates, though,” Edmund goes on.
“I’m glad you didn’t quit Model U.N. when you saw me there.”
Edmund scoffs. “Like I would have ever done that.”
Caspian pulls him in for a kiss. “I’m glad you roomed with me in Virginia.”
“I’m glad you made me realize you weren’t a total ass.”
“I’m glad you roomed with me in Germany, too,” he says, kissing Edmund again. “I’m glad you kissed me,” He kisses Edmund again. “I’m glad we talked about it.” And again, punctuating each statement with a kiss. “I’m glad you went to the Christmas market with me. I’m glad we crushed everyone at that conference. I’m glad we spent the entire dance making out. I’m glad we went back to the hotel room to have sex.”
“I’m glad we had sex, too,” Edmund says.
Caspian raises an eyebrow. “You don’t say.”
Edmund feels his cheeks heat and nudges him playfully. “I mean I’m glad you were my first.”
“I kind of wish you were my first.”
He knows this story: Caspian’s first had been some random hook-up in Spain. Edmund can’t fault him for it. If he’d studied abroad without a boyfriend, he probably would have done the same thing.
Instead, he’d just had a lot of video sex with Caspian and Caspian had come out to visit him over spring break.
“I could always be your last,” Edmund says, taking a leap of faith.
Because Caspian is always there to catch him. Always.
And Caspian’s grinning like an idiot now. “I had this whole thing planned but – fuck it. D’you wanna marry me, Ed?”
Edmund kisses him before he can stop himself; he knows that’s not a real answer, and he needs to give him a real answer, but he really wants to kiss him.
“Should I take that as a yes?” Caspian murmurs when they pull apart.
“That’s a fucking absolutely,” Edmund says, pulling him in for another kiss.
Eventually, Caspian slides the ring on his finger, and they take a selfie with the lights of Rosslyn in the background.
Then they walk home, because neither of them can take another unnecessary minute not touching every inch of each other that they can reach.
Yeah; Edmund’s really lucky.
“I’m taking your name,” Caspian murmurs, curled up next to Edmund. Edmund plays with his hair, because he likes it as much as Caspian does.
“You are?”
“My family kind of sucks. I don’t know if you’ve noticed.”
“But your dad…”
“Would want me to be happy. Besides, Caspian Pevensie kind of has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?”
Edmund’s heart is so full it could burst. He brings Caspian’s hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the center of his palm.
Pevensies (+Jill + Cas + Eustace)
JILL: omg stealing our thunder much
JILL: jk i’m super happy for you!!!
LUCY: congrats!!!!!
PETER: this is so great you guys!!!
SUSAN: you two make such an amazing couple!
EUSTACE: It took you long enough.
JILL: EUSTACE
EUSTACE: Well, it did.
EDMUND: thanks everyone
CASPIAN: don’t worry jill we’re not going to elope in vegas
CASPIAN: i think everyone would kill us
LUCY: we would 😘
