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Lupe agreed, of course she did. When Jess had asked her offhandedly to go to New York, Lupe tried so hard to find a reason to say no. She couldn’t find one. Later that day, they sat smoking on the porch. Lupe twisted her cigarette with a furrowed brow. Did Jess mean it? Jess scanned her over and exhaled smoke into the air. “You’re thinking too loud hermano.” Lupe looks at her and frowns. “Did you mean it?” Lupe asks. Jess looks at her, puzzled. “Of course I did.” They sit in silence for a moment before Lupe speaks. “Okay.” Jess takes her cigarette out of her mouth. “Okay?” Jess asks with a grin. “Okay.” Lupe repeats bashfully. Jess pushes her playfully on the shoulder. “Alright! We’re going to New York!” Jess put out her cigarette and stood up. “Let’s get packing then.” She said before walking back into the house. Lupe followed. Of course she did.
They sat on the train station bench in a comfortable silence. Lupe was happy. She had always been bad at letting herself enjoy things. But this was just as much for Jess as it was for Lupe herself. Lupe looked over at Jess to see her already staring with a stupid grin on her face. “What? Do I have something on my face?” Lupe asked defensively. “Nope.” Jess replied before pulling out the cigarette from behind her ear and looking out at the trains. The next train to New York wouldn’t come for another hour. Lupe sighed and held out her hand to Jess. Jess looked at her confused before interlacing their fingers together. “The cigarette you idiot.” Lupe teased. A look of realization came over Jess’s face as she removed Lupe’s hand from her grasp to grab the cigarette from her mouth. Lupe took a drag of the cigarette and gave Jess a pat on the hand holding hers moments earlier. “Attaboy.”
5 minutes later Lupe opened her suitcase and fished out her copy of Moby Dick. As she flipped to the chapter she left off on, Jess spoke. “That’s not a good one.” Lupe did not look up from her book. “I’m surprised they even taught you to read there in Moose Jaw.” She quipped. “They did, right in between deer chasing class and learning to build huts.” Jess joked. “Bet you chased lots of doe up there.” Lupe smirked. “Nah, they were chasin’ me.” Lupe looked up from her book. “You ever gonna tell me about those boats?” Jess pondered for a moment. “Sure.” Lupe waited for her to speak again. “Let’s hear it then.”
Jess plucked her cigarette from Lupe’s mouth and placed it in her own. “So it started when I was 9, my brother James took me fishing for the very first time. He took me to Buffalo Pound, which was kind of having a bit of a monster problem at the time.” Lupe furrowed her brow but kept listening. “We get out there, and I feel something on my hook, it's real big too. Me and James try to pull that thing up with all our body weight, but it just won't give. Whatever it was put up a big fight. I looked down and saw water pooling at my little feet. I almost jumped into the water right then. It’s a good thing I hadn’t, who knows what that thing would’ve done to me.”
Lupe rolled her eyes. “Bull. You just made that up.” Jess held up her hand in an oath as her cigarette dangled out of her mouth. “No sir.” Jess promised. Lupe opened her book back up. “It’s a good thing you didn’t jump, that sea monster would’ve cost us a shortstop.” Jess dropped her cigarette on the ground and stomped on it. “I dunno, I think I could’ve beat it.” Lupe ignored her and started reading
After 10 minutes the words weren’t making any sense. She wasn’t following the story. Lupe sighed and closed the book again. She looked at Jess, who was fishing something gross out of her nails. “Tell me more would you? Stories I mean.” Lupe asked. Jess smiled and started talking immediately. Jess didn’t stop talking the whole way to New York. She talked as they boarded the train. She talked as they stopped in Pittsburgh. She talked as they left the station and she talked until Lupe finally interrupted. She didn’t want Jess to stop, but they had to figure out where to stay for the night.
“All right hermano, we’re on the street, let’s not sleep here.” Lupe said and started looking around for a hotel. It didn’t take long for them to get lost. “Is there a map somewhere?” Jess asked. A young girl not much older than Esti walked up to them. “You two lost?” She asked, smacking her gum. “Do you know where a hotel is around here?” Lupe asked. The girl pointed to the building across the street and walked off. “Thank you!” Lupe called before walking towards the crosswalk.
Jess looked at Lupe and grinned as they carried their suitcases into the room. Lupe yawned as she started unpacking. “It’s kind of late isn’t it?” Jess only nodded, and headed into the ensuite bathroom. They had really splurged on this place, but they didn’t have the energy to find a cheaper hotel. Lupe grabbed her pack of cigarettes and climbed on to her bed. She looked up and scoffed at the no smoking sign above their door. It’s my damn room, I’ll do what I want. She pondered as she lit her cigarette. She figured they should try to find jobs tomorrow. They had the room booked for two days, so they’d also need to try to find an apartment somewhere. This is stupid. She caught herself on the thought. No, it's not. It’s just new.
After Jess exited the bathroom, she crawled right into Lupe’s bed right next to her. “You’ve got your own bed, Jess.” Lupe said. Jess held out her hand without responding. Lupe sighed and gave her one from the pack. “You’ve got your own cigarettes too.” Jess lit hers up before speaking. “I like yours better.” Lupe chuckled. “No ones forcing you to keep buying those nasty Camels.” Jess shook her head and looked her in the eye. “No, I like yours better.” Lupe looked at her lost for a moment before cutting the tension. She nudged Jess in the shoulder and muttered “thief”.
“What are we gonna do tomorrow?” Jess asked. “Find jobs, we’ll probably end up in factory work. We can start there. Then we find somewhere to stay.” Lupe replied. “Seems simple enough.” They sat in silence once again, each trying to figure out what to say. “Jess, tell me more about Moose Jaw.” Jess’s eyes lit up and she put out her cigarette.
The room was cold and bright when Lupe woke up. The blanket was crumpled beneath her and still covered the pillow she was laying on. She sleepily looked over at Jess, sleeping soundly while facing the direct light of the sun from their window. Lupe could make out every detail on Jess’s face like this. Lupe knew she was staring, but was too tired to care, or move. Jess’s eyes fluttered open and landed on Lupe. Jess reached out and stroked her hand against Lupe’s arm. Jess winced at the touch. “You’re so cold, Lu.” Lupe unconsciously reached out to feel Jess’s arm. “Jesus Jess, you’re like a furnace.” Jess smiled and wrapped herself around Lupe. Jess’s embrace was warm, familiar. When Lupe regained some form of thought, the question overtook her. “You accidentally fall asleep in my bed, hermano?” Jess nuzzled her face into Lupe’s neck. “No, I just didn’t wanna leave.” Lupe unwrapped herself from Jess and looked at her confused. They were eye to eye, laying sideways on the cold mattress. “You just say things don’t you.” Lupe said, continuing to stare into Jess’s eyes. Jess grinned and leaned forward to capture Lupe in a kiss.
It was the sweetest, slowest kiss Lupe ever had. Lupe slowly brought her hand up to cup Jess’s cheek as they parted to kiss again. And again, and again. It was soft, and tired, and after a minute or two Jess had given up on finding Lupe’s lips, often placing her kisses on her cheeks and nose. Lupe had started giggling so hard that her stomach hurt. As the kisses died down, unease spread across Lupe’s face. Jess’s smile died. “Are you freaked out?” Jess asked. Lupe’s face turned back to a smile when Jess spoke. “No, no, I’m just worried that if we don’t get out of this bed soon we might not find a job in time.” Jess stood up fast, grabbing Lupe’s hand and pulling her out of bed as well. Lupe grabbed Jess’s head and spoke to her like a sacred object. “I trust you.” Jess smirked at her. “Let’s get out of yesterday's clothes then.”
They stole glances at each other as they put on their slacks. “Help me out?” Lupe asked from across the room. Jess turned to see Lupe in a nice brown unbuttoned shirt made of some fancy material Jess didn’t know. Jess shoved a cigarette in her mouth and made her way to Lupe to slowly button the shirt. “Buy this during the season?” Jess asked, focused on buttoning Lupe’s shirt as slow as she could. “Towards the end. Never got to wear it to the bar.” Jess finished the final button and moved her hands to adjust Lupe’s collar. “Shame.” She said quietly.
The job search was relatively easy, they were hired by the first factory they found, but it took forever to find it. They spent all day in the sun, looking for maps, or instructions, or anything that looked like a factory. “Sir, what time is it?” Lupe asked the hiring manager. The man looked at his watch. “Around four thirty.” Lupe nodded appreciatively and handed him their papers. “Thank you so much sir.” Lupe started walking to the door and patted Jess on the shoulder to follow. “7 am sharp!” He called out as they exited the smog filled factory.
Lupe felt the tension rise as she entered the hotel room. She slowly walked over to her bed and sat. Jess sat on her own bed facing Lupe and pulled out a cigarette. Lupe watched closely as Jess brought the lighter to her mouth, watching the way her lips held the cigarette in place. Lupe regathered her thoughts and spoke. “Okay! This is our last night here, tomorrow we head out early and find a place to stay.” Jess brought her hand to a salute in response. Jess kicked her boots on to the bed and leaned back. Lupe awkwardly looked away to grab her book and do the same. Lupe waited for Jess to do something, to resume where they had left off in the morning. Lupe waited all night. Lupe was still waiting when Jess turned off the lamps and said goodnight. Lupe wondered if at any moment, Jess would crawl into her bed and she would miss it in her sleep. So Lupe stayed awake in the dark as long as she could.
Lupe woke up alone and very awake. She looked over at Jess’s bed to see her sleeping in the exact position she remembered last. The weight in her chest sunk, and Lupe couldn’t look at her anymore so she went to the bathroom. Lupe stared at her eyebags in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. The bright light in the bathroom strained her eyes and the toothbrush felt heavy in her hand. As she rinsed, Jess walked up behind her and reached for her own toothbrush, leaning over Lupe. Lupe looked back at Jess as she leaned, and their eyes stayed stitched together for a moment. Jess stayed right behind her, inches from touching their hips together, as she brought the toothbrush to her mouth. Lupe suddenly decided to floss. Jess and Lupe stared at each other through the mirror, milking every moment of the tension. When they finished, Jess turned to look at Lupe directly.
“You look like shit.” Jess said, squeezing her eyebrows together in concern. Lupe shot her a tired smile. “Long night.” Lupe responded, trying to keep her dignity intact. Jess’s face fell to pity and she reached up to press a kiss to Lupe’s cheek. “I’m sorry.” Her hand held Lupe’s chin as she spoke. It was like Jess knew exactly what Lupe had meant, as if she had been speaking in a secret language made for the two of them. Lupe felt adoration wash over her like a tidal wave. Jess’s words hung in the air for what felt like forever. Lupe wished it could be forever. As Jess’s hand finally started to fall from her face, she couldn’t hold herself anymore. Lupe stepped forward and held Jess’s lips to her own. She held Jess’s lips like china, fragile. Jess moved her hands to Lupe’s waist and held hers right back. They held each other like they couldn’t stand to be a single inch apart. When their kiss broke, they held each other in the tightest embrace they could, each scared the other would fly away if they let go. “We don’t need two beds.” Lupe said, chin buried into Jess’s shoulder. “I wholeheartedly agree.” Jess chuckled.