Chapter Text
Before meeting them, Bachira’s lonely.
Comfortable with his monster, but still lonely.
Rin says he prefers it like that.
No one to need him, and no one to disappoint him.
Isagi doesn’t understand it, until he meets them.
Sometimes, he can almost make sense of what he’s looking for, but always, he comes up empty.
From high school to college to their current lives, Bachira, Rin, and Isagi grow close and drift apart, together, not together, and then into partners all over again. The universe drops them like bouncing balls into a closed box, setting them on an infinite collision course.
They’re all a bit in love with each other.
Except Isagi and Bachira have always been on the same wavelength, their monstrous brains ricocheting new ideas back and forth on the board with incredible certainty and trust, a selfhood shared in two, something not even time-tested relationships can beat, and certainly not Rin who met them both a year later and is still so distant.
Except Bachira and Rin are leagues ahead of Isagi, speeding towards a horizon he didn’t even know existed yet, even if Rin denies it and Bachira says he’s waiting for Isagi. They trade laughs and pointed words, and Isagi is ten steps behind, still stumbling over his thoughts.
Except Rin and Isagi have left Bachira out of their little world where Bachira can see how both of them come alive with a connection that he can see but can’t share with them. Within the world he created for the three of them, Bachira exists in a bubble separate from Rin and Isagi, and it’s a new type of loneliness.
Whatever secret special world those other two monsters have made for themselves - it’s meant only for them.
It’s loneliness, and it’s jealousy. It’s knowing the monsters inside your screen - the ones who chew on your thoughts and make a feast of it. It’s the sun, sunflowers, roots, and storms. It’s obsession, a hobby stealing a cavity in your brain. It’s drama - so much drama. It’s joy, laughter, and clever barbs. And it’s knowing “I’ll never get to call you mine” again. It’s twice-in-a-lifetime connections and twice-in-a-lifetime fumbled chances. It’s ego.
Welcome to the iAntiVirus roleplay forums cinematic universe.
Reo and Nagi are high school friends - sweethearts, if Reo had somehow picked up on Nagi’s unspoken intentions sooner, but he didn’t. (Nagi still likes to say they’re high school sweethearts though.)
After all, it’s a little bit out of a movie how they meet - Reo tripping over Nagi while he’s scheming his way into selling the best book in the world- one that will hit number one on every bestsellers list, one that wins awards and changes lives. Nagi’s forlorn essay scatters onto the floor. Reo, embarrassed by his lack of decorum and distraction, immediately apologizes and bends over to help the poor guy pick up his essay pages. He doesn’t actually shake his head, but who doesn’t staple their essay together? At least the pages are numbered… Reo thinks, putting the essay back in order, sort of skimming through it while he rearranges. By the time the pages are back in order, Reo has fallen hard for Nagi’s writing. It’s a personal statement. Students usually write of their adversities, accomplishments, and aspirations. Nagi just tells a story. But there’s something in the way he compares his life to that of a video game, being moved around in a monotone life, reaching checkpoint after checkpoint with no real delight, that calls to Reo. He can’t ever write anything as beautiful as this, but he understands.
“Hey, you - write for me!” Reo’s eyes are sparkling, and he leans into Nagi, a bright smile on his face. The essay sheets are still clutched in his hands, the priority of returning them to their owner forgotten.
“Er… no.”
Reo and Nagi’s great era together starts with a bang on the school steps and ends with a hush when Reo moves away half a year later. His parents think he’ll have a better chance at university selections if he transfers to so-and-so prestigious school, and Reo doesn’t necessarily disagree. He knows it’ll be good for meeting people, making connections in the industry, building the playing field for Nagi, but what if it’s at the cost of losing Nagi? Reo hates thinking about it, and so instead, he plans around it.
Reo can’t change moving away, but he promises Nagi that he isn’t done with him yet. That he sees a whole world of possibilities in his future. That he could be the greatest creative author of their generation - hell, any generation - yet! It’s a huge dream, but all Nagi asks of him in return is to stick by him until the end.
They can make it work.
Reo’s chest immediately feels lighter, knowing that he hasn’t lost his treasure yet. He doesn’t know how else he’d have motivated Nagi to keep in touch, but it seems like Nagi’s willing to put in the work for that much at least.
When Reo asks what he thinks of writing letters, Nagi’s eyes are bottomless. He only mutters, “Writing’s a hassle”.
“Even emails?” Reo asks.
“Hassle...” Nagi’s voice is low, drawn out, and muffled into Reo’s pillow. He mumbles something else into his pillow, but it’s lost to Reo’s focus. He goes back to his drawing board, racking his brains for how to keep his dreams alive, while Nagi dozes away on his bed.
Inspiration strikes hot while they’re watching Spy Kids 3-D together. Reo can tell from the way Nagi’s body leans against his that he’s paying attention to Juni Cortez’s adventure in Game Over, especially when they get to the scenes where he meets Demetra and they start teaming up. Nagi’s head fits comfortably on Reo’s shoulder, and when Reo turns to catch Nagi’s eyes brightening, he has to stop himself from immediately jumping up and pitching his latest idea to Nagi.
If Nagi likes to escape into digital worlds so much, then that’s all Reo has to do - make a digital world, just for Nagi. It’ll be even better than any movie or video game out there right now. Reo’s thoughts race, as he idly strokes Nagi’s hair. He’ll do all the work of setting it up, getting people to join it, and all Nagi has to do is explore this world and write! Reo, you’re a genius.
Reo calls the role play forum site iAntiVirus, and it’s a love letter to Nagi.
Bachira joins iAntiVirus in ERA 19.
He’s an artist, just like his mom, but where she turns her visions outwards onto the canvas, Bachira finds that there’s a deep well inside of him of words and what-ifs, stories to thread together from characters patched together by a need to beat the loneliness. Where his mother’s monsters roar to life in twists of shadow and color, unsettling a deep curiosity in gallery visitors, secret worlds come alive in Bachira’s mind.
Bachira happily talks to anyone about writing, especially if something they share sounds interesting. He wants to see how far something can go, and he tries to ping-pong his ideas off of them, his energy and ideas flowing out in dancing staccato beats, but the almost-alive monsters are quickly killed off by the lack of creativity and excitement. They turn to dust, and Bachira turns to his next curiosity. He continues writing by himself and his cast of characters. They surprise him sometimes. It’s not enough though, and that’s where the forum roleplay board iAntiVirus comes in. He’s clicking through DeviantArt, an artists’ hub of words and visuals, when he comes across art that’s so reminiscent of a videogame reality kids dream of. Bachira joins and posts a few times, but he doesn’t find the spark that’ll Frankenstein his monster to life.
Until Isagi Yoichi.
Bachira’s quick to wheedle Yoichi’s name out of him, despite knowing about online stranger danger, and soon after also gets Yoichi’s MSN. He slams him with a series of emojis, exclamation points, and half-formed ideas, and Yoichi responds in mind, asking questions and taking his thoughts one step further until it’s not just Bachira’s monster spitting words anymore but a combined beast between them. Bachira and Isagi write the required twenty posts between them in order to advance out of newbie status and into VIRUS together within three days, Bachira as “Dancing Bee” and Isagi as “Meta Mind”. They learn from their superiors that VIRUS isn’t just all cool black and neon color schemes - but that it exists to take into their hands what the Administrators of Cyberpolis turn a blind eye to. When Dancing Bee and Meta Mind shadow a Minion on their first mission out, a FIREWALL agent calls them monsters for playing god, and Bachira likes the sound of that even more. That’s right, we’re monsters. Run away or I’ll run through you. Bachira grins gleefully. Nothing shakes the pair, not even Reo’s super weird and super dramatic sitewide plotlines intended to catch Nagi’s interest. Not until ERA 20, when Rin joins iAntiVirus in its latest white flood.
At some point, after all the other roleplayers are tired of Rin’s writing (the godmodding accusations are endless but he’s often not guilty of them unlike a certain king), Rin hijacks one of Bachira and Yoichi’s closed threads to complete his application’s post count. It’s a little unsettling, but Bachira thinks they have a good dynamic. He hasn’t seen Yoichi so fired up before in trying to one-up Rin. It’s not just about writing better, but also about writing with a vision wider than what’s happening between the current posts. Bachira can taste Yoichi’s monster coming out to play, and his chest squeezes a fraction harder in anticipation.
Rin joins FIREWALL as Trainee 9, and Bachira is excited that the next time they meet, their OCs will be trading shots. Fighting Reo’s Corporal, Chigiri’s Lieutenant, and Kunigami’s Lieutenant been fun, but Bachira’s looking forward to having a real rival in Rin and seeing what fresh ideas he brings to the VIRUS vs FIREWALL drama. And he doesn’t disappoint.
A few months later, a promoted Trooper 9 steals Minion Dancing Bee away to FIREWALL.
It happens because Yoichi disappears for real life stuff - some big debate competition that Bachira’s heard of but not participating in this time because their team didn’t make it past the qualifiers. He’s not too upset about it, especially since their debate coach has paired him with the new guy for the next tournament, a research-heavy genius with a sharp tongue and the longest under-eyelashes Bachira’s ever seen.
Rin rejects Bachira as his public forum debate partner at first glance, but he wordlessly starts cooperating when he sees Bachira’s questioning twists the opposing team into contradicting themselves during a practice match. They do research together and practice debating other teams after school. Bachira asks Rin if he’s ever heard of a Yoichi at tournaments, but Rin only ignores him. Bachira still catches himself looking at Rin a lot, especially when he snaps at everyone during practice, like his default tone is pissed off, even if he doesn’t really mean it. Bachira shrugs it off. But wow, Debate-Rin is eerily similar to iAV-Rin, huh. Bachira shakes his head every time he catches himself thinking what if…. It’s a small world, but it’s not that small of a world.
If it were, he’d probably have met Yoichi by now. It’s no small coincidence they’re in high school debate competitions in the same region, after all. Bachira looks at his computer screen thoughtfully. The competition is a five hour drive away. If only I could surprise Yoichi at one of them. A little sigh escapes him. No use thinking about it now! He’ll qualify and win at every competition from here on out.
The sun has long dipped into the horizon, sinking the golden warmth in Bachira’s room into a melancholy blue, which is exactly how he feels. Dancing Bee is playing beach volleyball as a civilian in Sum-meira, the summery themed region of Cyberpolis. Across from him are Chigiri and Kunigami’s characters. Next to him is an NPC, one of Bachira’s pre-iAV OCs, doing a sorry job of filling in for Meta Mind. Dancing Bee flirts with the jock princess, much to the jock hero’s disappointment, and vice versa. So that’s how it is, Bachira grins.
They have fun, especially Bachira with playing the meddling matchmaker by having Dancing Bee flirt with both characters. The thread ends on a silly and light note - an evening campfire where Dancing Bee tries to egg each character (and maybe their rpers) into a confession. Neither the jock princess nor jock hero catch on to each others’ feelings, but they get Bachira back for being a menace.
Bachira has fun with Kunigami and Chigiri, but it’s just not the same because neither of them are Yoichi. Bachira’s monster feels sluggish, like being in a food coma after feasting for months, and he wonders if he should take a break too and seek inspiration from real life where he has a total of zero friends and an intense debate partner waiting for him. Yeah.
It’s midnight, and Bachira is slouching over the computer, thinking out loud in the Goldfish chat, where pretty much anything goes. Maybe he can do some experimental art requests to get back into the flow? Or does anyone want to make more OCs with him? He’s bored!!! He’s all but saying he misses Yoichi. It’s been months since they’ve met, and Bachira knows that it’s more than just Yoichi’s writing that he connects with. He’s never met anyone so warm, so attentive - not because Bachira’s an oddity to observe, but because Bachira’s someone who Yoichi wants to spend his time with. And Bachira really, really, really can’t stop thinking about spending more time with Yoichi, despite the actual physical distance between them.
When he refreshes Goldfish, there’s a new post. It’s Rin, who snaps at him with a “You can’t even write without your partner. Who the hell would rp with such a lukewarm attitude?”
Bachira can’t believe that Rin, who hardly even tolerates conversation for plotting, is chatting with him in Goldfish, much less around midnight. I totally thought Rin-chan was someone who had dinner at 4pm, went to bed at 10pm, and woke at 6am. Bachira muses, momentarily distracted from his loneliness.
“Write with me then, Rin-chan!! I’ll prove you wrong >:)” Bachira replies in the Goldfish thread.
“Tch.”
Bachira expects Rin to ignore him from there on. He’s not Yoichi who pushes Rin with such an intense writing pressure that Rin might actually take interest in him. He’s just Bachira who has a monster yearning to lay himself down to be feasted and have the favor returned.
Rin ignores Bachira’s PMs to share MSNs. He rejects any attempt to plot together. And Bachira’s familiar with silence that corners him into his own world, but he’s surprised that Rin’s silence calls to him like a thin fishing line tugging his monster to surface. Bachira doesn’t quite put his finger on this familiar feeling in his gut until he realizes how much more clinical Rin’s other threads are. Devoid of intensity, excitement, and fun.
Rin’s Trooper 9 makes a habit of fucking with Bachira’s Dancing Bee missions many times. Anyone else might find it frustrating, but Bachira’s having so much fun. And it finally feels like Rin’s responding - reaching out, in his own way. Rin doesn’t hold back, but Bachira matches him using his quick thinking and instinctive ideas. They trade blows and insults. Most times, Bachira comes up a little short, unable to close the gap between him and Rin. Still, Bachira laughs, and he imagines Rin’s mouth twitching on the other side of the screen. Trooper 9 tries to trap Dancing Bee, and Dancing Bee tricks his way out of being caught. Sometimes, they end up fucking things up real bad for both sides that their superiors give them a talking to back in base, but it doesn’t stop them from meeting on the field and matching sharp smiles and snappy insults against each other.
Bachira likes Rin. Even though Rin still doesn’t warm up to him in the way his other iAV friends have, something between them has thawed, and Bachira’s monster senses a familiarity that makes him push Rin’s buttons for more. Rin bites back, most often starting with “Fuck off” and ending with “Fuck you”, but he’ll always respond to Bachira with an intensity that Bachira knows the song and dance to.
It’s another mission again. This time, Bachira surprises Rin, feeling it’s high time to trap the genius strategist. Rin doesn’t show any indication in his perfunctory writing that he’s been caught off-guard, but Bachira can tell by the longer time it takes Rin to respond to their thread that he’s cooking something up behind the scenes. Bachira refreshes the page every few minutes, unable to concentrate on homework or anything else, even his conversation with Yoichi.
What follows is Bachira and Rin’s usual cat-and-mouse chase, except this time, Bachira’s laying down the traps for Rin, using his monster instincts to make use of the surroundings and existing knowledge of Cyberpolis to trick Rin. Even though Rin can’t actually know what he’s thinking to avoid almost everything Bachira’s laid down, Rin pulls hard strategic logic out in such a way that it feels like he predicted everything, perfectly cleverly evading Bachira’s traps. In the end, it comes to a beatdown, Dancing Bee’s stinger versus Trooper 9’s blades. Neither of them backs down, until their HP bar is low enough that Bachira’s pretty sure he’s fucked up tracking the HP numbers at some point and that Dancing Bee’s already dead.
Bachira thinks that Rin will end the thread there, with both of them beat up badly enough they can lick their wounds in their respective home bases, but Rin pulls a fast one over him. Trooper 9 knocks out Dancing Bee and takes him away to FIREWALL.
And Bachira lets it happen.
Isagi knows because Chigiri mentioned that he and Reo had reservations about this whole kidnapping-side-switching plotline. As mods and as FIREWALL leaders, they would’ve sat Rin and his OC down for a slap on the wrist, but Bachira wanted to go ahead with it. And despite their closeness that led Isagi to believe he was Bachira’s partner and because of feeling like he’s known Bachira from the inside-out since ERA 19, Isagi always knew Bachira would follow wherever his monster pulled him.
Isagi didn’t expect Rin to take initiative either, and being blindsided like that eats a hole in his chest. He’s obsessing over his puzzle pieces again, and maybe not for the right reasons, but goddamn, his head hurts thinking about it too much. He thought he’d at least been as interesting as Bachira that Rin would’ve confronted him.
So when Meta Mind meets the newly turned FIREWALL trainee on the field, Isagi feels the pieces he’s been so carefully putting together fall out of place, turning into new puzzle shapes, ones that he hasn’t gotten the feel of yet.
The former Dancing Bee only says, “If you want me… Come and steal me.” His golden eyes slide off Meta Mind.
The I won’t wait for you is a silent and heavy weight on Isagi’s chest.
Meta Mind returns to base. He has to report Dancing Bee’s kidnapping and defection to FIREWALL.
Isagi pushes his computer away. He’s still at school, taking a short break from debate club practice. He shouldn’t lose himself at school, where the other debate kids practicing in the room over can hear, but Isagi can’t help the frustrated yell that escapes from his throat.
Isagi has always been alone - not because he’s “a monster” like Bachira claims or anti-social, like how some people prefer. He has the qualities to be friendly or a rival or a project partner or something to someone, but he’s always one step short. Despite that, Bachira saw something in him - a monster that Isagi had thought as irrefutably part of his roots, buried deep in the dirt of himself until Bachira’s sun came around and pulled his monster out into the blue sky.
Isagi sparks people into inspiration. He’s in sync with Bachira, who’s sunshine, energy, and genius. He keeps up with Rin, who’s unruffled, devastation, and genius. He pushes Nagi, who’s so stupidly naturally genius without trying that it both awes and infuriates Isagi. Isagi is the side character to Kunigami’s heroism, and he’s the dragon to Chigiri’s self-made tower. He’s the catalyst to Barou’s evolution from threat to apex predator, and he even forces an explosion from Shidou. But all that works only because it’s their genius. He’s smart, observant, adaptable, and best of all, hungry. Which is what he suspects Bachira likes most about him. But Isagi’s “genius” comes from devouring others. His monster doesn’t create - only eat, regurgitate, and repeat.
Isagi wonders if he deluded himself into thinking there was something immutably interesting about himself, if his ego had been so easily fired up that he lost everything in that carelessness.
Rin, on the other hand, is a true monster with his godlike vision, seeing across and through the world of iAV and its inhabitants all at once. Isagi forgets to breathe sometimes when he writes with Rin, too focused on devouring every detail and decision his rival makes. From Rin, Isagi learns how to broaden his thinking, until he feels like they’re no longer in the 2D digital world as Meta Mind and Trooper 9, but as Isagi and Rin themselves. Thanks to this meta vision, Isagi often predicts Rin’s tactics, forcing his rival to adapt his writing too, adding more layers of logic and thinking in advance in his posts. Rin snaps at Isagi with a fervor he doesn’t show to others. So doesn’t Rin see something in him too?
Isagi isn’t sure if he’s frustrated that Bachira sees the monster that Isagi isn’t yet in Rin or that Rin finally sees Bachira as the undeniably bright partner that Isagi has always seen or that they’ve finally found in each other what Isagi is once again just one step short of.
Now that Bachira’s in FIREWALL, his in-base chats disappear from Isagi’s sight, which means seeing less of Bachira on iAV. And when Isagi does see him active in the chat threads or art threads, Rin is inexplicably present, offering clipped responses or criticizing Bachira’s art of their OCs in FIREWALL together because it’d be OOC for Trooper 9 to look away when the former Dancing Bee pulls a prank. Isagi thinks of how Meta Mind would’ve gone along with the prank and made any number of excuses for Dancing Bee. He wonders what Bachira is doing now in this place where Isagi can’t see him… and him being with Rin.
Isagi doesn’t think Rin actually cares about who Bachira writes with. Isagi could keep writing with Bachira in civilian settings. They could even find another forum board. This doesn’t even stop Isagi from talking to Bachira on MSN. Nothing’s changed. But everything has. Because if Isagi can’t plot with Bachira, if Isagi can’t even prove his own monster’s merit and win at stealing Dancing Bee back, is there anything else about Isagi Yoichi that’s exciting and worth (not) waiting around for?
Bachira doesn’t wait around for Isagi, but Rin can tell by how Bachira’s energy brightens when he sees the pretentious ass username “MetaMind” online that they’re sunflowers and suns for each other.
Alone in his bedroom that he used to share with his ex-roommate, Rin punches the tightness in his chest directly into his keyboard, drafting his reply to Meta Mind. It’s Isagi’s attempt in dominating Rin, and Rin is irritated that Isagi thinks that he can just do it if he corners Rin into a thread, and for what? For Bachira?
For all Bachira’s big talk about staying with Rin and inspiring him, Rin hears the unspoken until. Until Bachira’s bored of him, his monster, whatever was staying his loneliness. Until Isagi gets his shit together and outsmarts Rin. Until they both decide that Rin just isn’t as interesting or smart or good enough of a writer like they thought.
Rin’s certainly not thinking about Dancing Bee’s last words to Meta Mind: If you want me… Come and steal me.
Or Dancing Bee’s last words to him:
“Meta Mind will hunt you down”, Dancing Bee promises like he’s speaking from the future in reverse, “He’s very meticulous, you know. And he likes me a lot!!”
Dancing Bee grins, through the ache in his jaw where Trooper 9 threw him on the ground. Trooper 9 probably hates the presumption, as if anyone could tell him what to do and how he’s going to fail. Dancing Bee wonders if he also hates how little faith this little black and yellow buzzing bee has in his promise.
And Rin’s definitely not thinking about his own embarrassing: Your life is in my hands now.
Dancing Bee takes to Trooper 9’s threat happily, and from behind the screen, Rin feels Bachira’s attention on him like a promise.
He has to remind himself:
Trainee 8 is still waiting for Meta Mind to steal him back, something 9 silently rebukes him for, but he can’t help it! “You’d know if you just got to know him, 9-chan”, Trainee 8 teases. “Any day now he might sneak through a hole in our perimeter!”
Trooper 9 doesn’t bother correcting him anymore before walking out, but he makes a note to double-check on the perimeter.
Maybe some distance from each other will do everyone some good. Rin can’t help the spiteful satisfaction he gets from taking Dancing Bee to FIREWALL. Obviously, Rin doesn’t care for whatever stupid lukewarm flirting friendship-is-magic-lets-be-melodramatic thing those two idiots have going on. But without meaning to, Rin notices them more.
Bachira and Isagi don’t only roleplay with each other, but they do so much of everything together that it’s sickening. It goes outside of plotting for character development, which is the most Rin’s done with anyone. They create characters together, get commissioned art of their characters together, and spend hours talking on MSN. Rin suspects they’ve already traded phone numbers too and complain about homework together. He can’t imagine them being more diligent about anything than the effort they put into iAV.
(Once, Isagi and Bachira secretly roleplayed each other’s characters, and no one found out until they revealed it a week later. Rin could feel Bachira cackling from inside his screen and Isagi sheepishly proud. It scratched at Rin’s insides, irritating an old wound.)
More than just doing everything together, Bachira and Isagi are cut from the same “monster”. It’s not about them being in sync all the time but that they both demand attention from Rin. Differently, but persistently and unavoidably. Something about the direct sunlight of Bachira’s focus which sees clean through him and the hungry roots in Isagi’s obsession which digs into him both draw Rin in. It’s why he interrupts their closed thread that first time, when he’s still a newbie and the two of them are both VIRUS.
When the mods berate him for his absolute abandon of roleplaying manners, Rin shrugs them off. What’re they going to do? Block his IP address?
The rp forum is a battlefield of attention, and Rin is losing to them. Bachira and Isagi uproot him and pulls him into their gravity. He can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s fucking sucks. He forces himself to close out of the window, whenever he finds himself wandering in one of their thread’s or clicking into Goldfish or even checking the list of online usernames. Shame needles him, but Rin caves every time. He only takes solace in the fact he’s probably as big a villain to their perfect story as they are to his. Rin refuses to be relegated into a side character’s role, just another stepping stone in somebody else’s great story. He’s going to win.
Rin moves in on Bachira when Isagi is on hiatus. He sees through Bachira in return. He digs into the tender loneliness bruising Bachira’s open heart, but he also takes security in their mutually assured destruction.
By the time Isagi returns from hiatus, Rin has taken command of the battlefield. He’s not only taken Meta Mind’s partner for his own, but he’s also gained a respectable reputation among his FIREWALL peers. Rin isn’t sociable, but he understands the value of being interesting on a site where attention is a weapon.
And Isagi isn’t that interesting, anyway. He’s annoying. He challenges Rin, where others would’ve dropped a thread or reported him for “godmodding” by now. Isagi’s usually so mild in PMs and chat threads. Rin’s called him variations of room temperature before, to which Isagi shyly “haha’s” his way into another topic. But when he writes, Isagi is vicious. He likes to pull apart his opponents and play them into his story. It’s a little reminiscent of Rin’s own tactics, but it’s irritating to see this bootlegged version of himself use his thinking back at him.
Isagi doesn’t see Rin clearly like Bachira does. He wants to see Rin as more than he is from the outside, and so he dissects him. Isagi wants to lay him down on the table, skin peeled back and bones cracked open. Isagi wants to pick at his organs and guts, slowly and thoroughly until he’s satisfied. Given the chance, Isagi would take all of Rin and sort him into neat glass jars. If Isagi can keep up with Rin, he just might. No one’s ever been equal to Rin before. And no one’s ever really wanted to be. They’re all either chasing after him or racing to pass him. Even though Isagi constantly declares he’ll surpass Rin, the way he keeps toe-to-toe with Rin beckons Rin to similarly keep up with Isagi.
Generally, Rin has low expectations of common sense, finesse, and strategy from anyone, but Isagi is really something else. Rin’s initial curiosity in him quickly plummets when VIRUS Minion Meta Mind rushes Trooper 9 in an attack around the perimeter of FIREWALL’s base. It’s crude. Rin saw him coming from a mile away. He pushes back at Meta Mind’s plot, sowing seeds that will later create a minefield of explosions under Meta Mind’s unwitting footsteps. It’s foolish to think that Rin’s alone, that it’d be so easy to ambush him here.
But Meta Mind surprises him. He’d messaged some lackey of his, “Plant Dad”, to disable the security checks Trooper 9 had previously installed. When Rin goes back to the main channel of rp threads, he sees another FIREWALL agent fighting it out on his behalf. What was once a private affair between him, Bachira, and Isagi has now turned into a site-wide war.
Rin plants more story land mines, and though Meta Mind barely dodges them, he does. And he pivots, drawing on some new or recycled tactic to keep digging his claws into Rin. Rin can tell that Isagi wants him on his knees desperate for mercy at his left hand and to have Bachira’s hand held in his right hand, but Rin meticulously beats it out of him. HP by HP. Strategy by strategy. Word by word.
He can at least acknowledge that Minion Meta Mind’s field of vision and preparedness has improved - but not enough to face Rin or Trooper 9, much less steal Trainee 8 back.
… “Is that it? Trainee 8 seemed to think more of you.” Trooper 9 is unimpressed. He’s not a possessive guy, but he hates to lose what’s his, and Trainee 8 is under his jurisdiction now. No delusional half-baked VIRUS rookie employee is going to change that in one pathetic attack.
Minion Meta Mind is beat now. Isagi should withdraw and write a conclusion here. Lose gracefully, or whatever.
Meta Mind reaches out, one hand to Trooper 9’s uniform, pulling him in even closer, and the other hand to Trooper 9’s face, forcing the FIREWALL agent to look him in the eyes. Meta Mind’s been following Trooper 9 closely, and after all this time, he knows him. He’s going to use that. He’s done with Trooper 9 always looking through him - not even on his god-like radar. He’s done losing, and he’s done being the last recruit chosen for any mission.
“Is FIREWALL that weak for new blood that they’d steal VIRUS agents?” Meta Mind’s eyes challenge him, “I trust Dancing Bee. And I’ll prove that I have the power to steal him back. You haven’t won. Do you think he’d choose to stay, between me and you?”
Meta Mind tilts his head, as if he’s looking down on 9, despite their height difference and awkward position. He already knows the answer.
The fucking nerve. Anger takes over, and Rin’s hands fly over his keys.
Trooper 9 whips around, and pushes the beat up Meta Mind back until he slams against a tree, his shoes scraping the ground for purchase. “Bachira already chose me, so get over yourself and fuck off.”
Trooper 9 gives Meta Mind one last disintegrating glare before turning away, leaving the battered body of the VIRUS agent slumped against the tree. Trooper 9 doesn’t have use for a new trainee without the skills to back up an over-inflated ego.
Rin posts without going back to edit. Adrenaline rushes through him, and he feels his Bachira-acclaimed monster rear back with heated satisfaction, screaming for more.
After a few minutes of cooling his head, Rin rereads his post as is his habit to double-check his work, and his body temperature drops.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Bachira already chose me.
Bachira. Me.
Bachira.
Not Trainee 8, not Dancing Bee, but Bachira.
Rin is mortified.
It’s only been a few minutes, and it’s not likely anyone saw his mistake. Everyone’s probably busy with their own replies. Who would follow this shitty showdown with Meta Mind? Rin wastes no more time and quickly edits his post, saving it again with the correct name.
His room is suddenly too small for him, the lack of a fan in the room making the air even more suffocating. He needs space. He has to think. He has to forget everything. Rin grabs a pair of socks and rushes out the door in his tennis shoes. He’s off, feet pounding in fast rhythm against the sidewalk. The sky’s blue is about to soften into a sunset. Rin goes faster and faster until all he has to focus on are keeping even breaths and watching both sides of the street before crossing.
When Rin finally gets home, a little before dinner, he cleans up and has a quiet dinner with his parents. He washes dishes, then heads back to his room to do homework, as he usually does. Rin’s running on autopilot so much that he forgets that he left his computer with iAV still open. Several new PM notifications are waiting for him.
Rin immediately closes out. But morbid curiosity wins, and he reopens another window.
From Reo, “Hi Rin, saw your latest post- do you want to talk?” Not. At. All. Next.
Chigiri sends him a screenshot of his rp post before the edit and the eloquent message, “This you? lol” Rin deletes it, cursing Chigiri. Who made this asshole a mod?
From Shidou, “Heyyy Rinrin ;) Cheating on me already?” As long as Shidou doesn’t tell his actual boyfriend (Rin’s former roommate), it’s whatever. It’s fine. He ignores him as usual.
Rin bulk deletes the other irrelevant messages, but he pauses at one in particular —
Isagi: “Hey Rin, I wanted to apologize to you for getting a bit carried away earlier. It’s nothing personal! Sorry it got a bit intense, but I had fun. You’re a great writer, and I’m sure Bachira thinks so too. I also wanted to let you know that Meta Mind and I aren’t giving up. On Bachira or on Dancing Bee or on you. So we’re rivals now .” And an emoji.
Fucking hell.
Bachira’s hell is loneliness.
He thought he knew about being lonely before, but this time, the ache is accompanied by anxiety.
Bachira has a hard time focusing in school because of the whole war going on in iAV. He checks his phone during classes, follows each post update obsessively, gets his phone confiscated, and then begs Rin to let him borrow his own phone during debate. Rin hardly uses his phone during class, but lately, he’s been typing out long messages on his phone super intensely whenever Bachira catches a glimpse of him in his free time. Bachira would be even more curious as to what kind of a person’s caught his debate partner’s attention if he weren’t so distracted by his monsters.
At first the sparks between them were pure heat and conflict. Yoichi and Rin kept butting against each other, trying to force the outcome of the thread into their own favor, but Bachira can tell that at some point, they both started enjoying that push and shove between each other. He’s still not entirely sure they get along, but it’s been two weeks of roleplaying solely in this thread between them, and Bachira doesn’t know where he comes in now — if he’s even still relevant in the grander scheme of things.
His own monster eggs him on, not unlike how Bachira used to egg his monsters on.
Maybe he’s not fun anymore. ( You’re not having fun like this.)
Maybe they’ll outgrow him. (Come and get me.)
Maybe he isn’t as much of a monster as he thought. (You’re just like me.)
That final thought scares him the most.
It used to be that his monster guided Bachira towards monsters he could run alongside, kicking ideas back and forth, but lately, it feels like Bachira’s only chasing after them now. It stings a little how much like Trainee 8 he’s become, waiting around for other monsters instead of dancing on his own. The chemistry he has with them is special, but now that Trooper 9 has met Meta Mind, Trainee 8 can see how compatible they are with each other. Bachira can see how compatible they are with each other. His heart feels so heavy with pride, its weight in him like melted gold. It should be a nice feeling, helping your two friends find a good match, but Bachira can’t help the jealousy in his gut.
School’s finally over and Bachira finally has his phone back, but he’s still got debate club. Bachira can’t find it in himself to focus today. His thoughts keep circling back to Rin and Yoichi. On one hand, Rin challenges Yoichi, and Yoichi loves a good challenge. He’s sweet and intense in all the best ways, and he’d never say he’s bored of Bachira, but Bachira knows how much Yoichi likes figuring out puzzles, and he feels like he’s already been pieced together and undone by Yoichi too many times in the time they’ve known each other. It’s probably no fun putting the same puzzle together over and over. On the other hand, Rin’s sharp, intense, and lonely. Someone who keeps up with him, rather than chases after him, is probably what he’s looking for. Yoichi fits the bill. Even if he can’t admit it to himself yet, Bachira mourns. He’s sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpet floor of the debate club classroom, rocking back and forth. Debate-Rin ignores him, sitting studiously at the table Bachira abandoned, but even Bachira can tell he’s working a bit more slowly today than usual. They’re meant to do research for their case and then share their findings in a practice session, but it doesn’t look like they’re going to get there today. Whatever’s going on with Rin, he’s not compartmentalizing very well either.
Actually, Bachira’s a genius. Since Debate-Rin reminds him of iAV-Rin so much, Bachira should just ask Debate-Rin for advice. He launches himself off the floor at Debate-Rin.
“Hey, Rin?”
Rin doesn’t hear him through his headphones, so Bachira tugs at the hem of his pants.
“What.”
“Rin, you have to take your headphones out first!”
“Go back to work.” Rin says flatly. Bachira can’t see Rin’s face from this angle, but he easily visualizes the accompanying frown on his handsome face.
“You have to answer my question first!” Bachira exclaims, sitting up and plopping his head and arms on the table. Rin shoves Bachira’s hands away from his papers, but he doesn’t resume his writing, so Bachira takes Rin’s silence as a sign he’s really listening this time.
“Hypothetically, if you saw another debater at a competition who really really inspired you, would you partner with them?” Bachira asks. Rin gives him an unamused glare that reads plainly You interrupted our research session for this?
“Does this nerd actually do their research?” Rin says, staring pointedly at Bachira’s lack of notes on his side of the table.
“That’s not the point!” Bachira laughs, brushing the question aside. Rin can be really funny. And besides, Rin’s not actually mad at Bachira. Bachira always finishes his research eventually.
“… I wouldn’t.” Rin says, his voice more firmly and more quietly. Bachira nods, as if he completely understands, but a tiny pinch in his chest bothers him anyway. Huh. Bachira’s self-aware enough to know there’s something adjacent to guilt and disappointment there.
“Stop thinking about useless things and do some fucking research on these stupid health insurance policies.”
“Okaaay, but what about the other way around…” Bachira trails off, unsure how to really ask what’s on his mind.
“They don’t deserve me.” Rin says coolly, and it’s such a Rin-like answer that Bachira laughs again, leaning in to nudge Rin’s legs with his body. Rin narrows his eyes at Bachira and sets his attention back on their research brief, but he doesn’t push Bachira away.
Instead, it’s Bachira who pushes him away. But only after he kisses him, lightly biting his lips. And only after a wide-eyed debate nerd barrels into their classroom, looking like he’s about to cry. It’s the guy with uncanny blue eyes and ruffled black hair. He wasn’t part of their division, since he did one of the solo categories, but Rin recalls those eyes staring at Bachira when the duo walked on stage during the awards ceremony, then following him to his seat as they walked through the crowd, golden trophies in their hands. Bachira didn’t notice or didn’t care. Rin doesn’t care.
Catching two of his competitors making out in the classroom probably distracts the loser from his tears long enough for him to stammer out a “S-sorry” through ragged breaths and quickly shut the doors behind him.
Rin turns back down to Bachira who’s flushed, his chest pressed against Rin’s chest. They’re wildly off-sync but in the way a song is created. The tip of his nose still touches Rin’s, and those eyes are so close to him, assessing him.
“What the fuck was that?”
Bachira tilts his head to the side, as if wondering if Rin means the crying loser or the sudden and charged kiss. His eyes light up, bright as the sun. “For our win! And I felt like it. Like I really liked you right then, so I had to kiss you.” Bachira beams, and Rin believes him. He believes that Bachira’s caught in the moment - a winner’s high. He is too. He needs a win - stress relief at least - after the annoying past few weeks, and his ex-roommate’s in town again. Rin pulls Bachira back in, grabbing him by his tangled hair.
The relief in Bachira’s sigh into his body doesn’t escape Rin’s notice.
Isagi always notices Bachira, even when he’s not actively focused on him. You don’t need to always be looking at the sun to know where it is in the sky.
By this point of their friendship, they’ve called each other on the phone several times. They’ve sent each other photos of them hanging out in their debate club rooms, recipe disasters, affectionate street cats, and Bachira, of course. Bachira with his bright golden eyes and bright smile and warmth. Isagi hasn’t felt lonely since meeting him, and he thinks since he’s close to beating Rin and stealing Bachira back and since a debate competition they both qualify for is coming up, why not actually meet? In person?
He does feel a little bad that they haven’t talked or written together as much the past weeks, but Isagi wants to make up for it, and now, more than ever, when he’s so close to being with Bachira again… He just wants to be with Bachira.
Isagi’s sure that Bachira doesn’t even keep track of such things and just goes to which debate competitions the school bus picks him up for. But just to be sure, Isagi wishes him good luck at the debate competition, to which Bachira replies “ 😜😘✌️ ”. Isagi smiles down at his laptop before stowing it away in his bag.
He can’t wait to surprise Bachira. But as always, Bachira ends up surprising him.
Isagi immediately slams the classroom door on Bachira and his debate partner. Bachira with his blushing face and honey golden eyes. Isagi wants to go back in there, but when he nears the door, he can tell that they’ve picked it back up. He backs away, feeling unanchored in a way that he hasn’t for a long time.
Isagi doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get a lot of things, but most of all… why he’s as upset as he is. Is it because the surprise is ruined? He can always surprise Bachira at the next debate competition. Is it because of the… Bachira tugging his debate partner closer flashes across his mind. No! No, it’s not that either. Bachira with his warm eyes, melting into a soft smile into playfulness and fondness and - he thought he was Bachira’s person, just like how Bachira was his person. Isagi’s stuck on it. Because it’s not the kissing but the closeness that bothers him. He doesn’t know if he’s in love or jealous. His heart just aches, and feeling is a little too much for him right now. But he’s not going to be one of those weird over-possessive friends who ruin what they have over some miscommunication. He and Bachira are nothing like Reo and Nagi.
He’s going to communicate.
The thought lights a fire in him, sending Isagi running down the hallway, tugging at each classroom door he passes until one opens up. He pushes his laptop open, almost flinging it off the desk, mirroring the intensity of everything and Bachira going through his head right now. He thinks about losing Bachira again, and he can’t. He already feels the distance growing between them. Ever since that stupid debate competition. Ever since Bachira started writing for FIREWALL. Ever since Isagi lit this fuse underneath Rin and started the huge VIRUS/FIREWALL war. Right. If it wasn’t going to be him, he’d thought… he’d thought Rin, at least… Isagi doesn’t know if that’s better or worse. He opens iAV and goes straight for his PMs. He doesn’t know what exactly he wants to say, can’t narrow down the words right now, so he just says it all.
He has to communicate.
He needs Bachira to know that he understands, that this isn’t something to lose each other over.
He writes about their meeting, how important Bachira is to him, and how he really wanted to see Bachira in person. But he also writes about how he’s okay if Bachira wants to see other people. Because surely, if Isagi’s okay with it, he’s not being controlling or possessive, and if Bachira chooses him again, then it’ll really mean something and not just because he’s a monster - the kind that dances with watercolor thoughts and ink, not the ugly kind that takes ahold of his traitorous mouth and jealousy. He can’t help but hate himself for being too slow in stealing Bachira back that Bachira’s already found someone more interesting than him.
“Isagi…” Nagi calls out to him from the doorway. “We have to go now… The bus is leaving.”
“Shut up, genius.” Isagi snaps, laser focused on his bright screen. I’m getting to it… His fingers don’t lift from his keyboard. He reads through it all and deletes everything unnecessary because brevity is the soul of wit. And he’s witty. That’s one of the things Bachira likes about him. He doesn’t even notice Nagi entering the room and switching the lights on. The brightness disorients Isagi for a moment, washing his mind blank save for one last thought.
Let’s take a break.